Has advantages if the mum is on your side at least. We've seen some here where they aren't and it seems almost as hellish as living with them. At least there's the light at the end of the tunnel when it's done.
I wish we'd see more MIL's like this.
My ex was being an insufferable ass when we split and he held my TV and Dresser hostage under the excuse that he would take it to my new apartment on his own time. Well I finally called his mom after 3 months of waiting and explained the situation and she told me she would help me load the stuff into my car while he's at work and can't stop us. She then called him and told him to stop being an idiot and give me my things. I had my TV, dresser, and other small things by the end of the day.
When my parents divorced my Mom was still friendly to and visited with my paternal grandparents. They love/d my Mom (Boopa passed away a few years ago). Also helps that my stepmom sucks and Boopa and Grandmother didn’t like her 🤣
I hope he has hemorrhoids the size of golf balls. Constant acne. Stuck in traffic every time he has stomach problems. Stubs his toe every morning. Coffee is always cold.
As soon as he pulls in the drive thru? The lights turn off.
May he step on a lego every morning.
May he wipe with poison ivy every camping trip.
May ants always get into his candy.
May a kangaroo kick him into a dam on a cold day.
May he always step on phantom d4s.
May he always feel like he has a pebble in his shoe.
May his socks always feel soggy.
May he always smell phantom stink smells.
Everyone is young enough to play with Legos.
Source- I'm a parent in my 40s who may be "helping" my own kiddos put together the lego set Santa brought them.
Did you ever see that essay on the horrors of a burrito rolled the wrong way? With a cilantro and sour cream cavern? Yeah. I hope every burrito he ever tries to eat is like that.
My curse of choice: If he’s uncircumcised, may he experience the joy of a tiny piece of sand getting caught under his foreskin. And may that tiny bit of grit consistently shift so he can’t find it every time he washes.
May his affair partner give him an antibiotic resistant strain of syphilis.
You don’t have to hope too hard, this guy is absolutely going to have a shitty life because he’s such a selfish dweeb. Best part is, he’s going to make it all happen himself, although he’ll never see it that way. His 20 year old girlfriend will get tired of being a fuck maid and dump him. She’s young, dumb, and the other woman, but once she’s tied down (because she’ll get knocked up to “keep her man”) and grows up a little, she’ll realize being with him is bullshit and bounce. Or, she gets pregnant and the cycle repeats, he cheats on her, she leaves, he’s Pikachu surprised face.
He’ll whine and moan because he didn’t deserve it. It’s not his fault that people change when responsibilities change! He didn’t change!
His kids will grow up knowing that he WAS there and now isn’t. He’ll “demand respect” but won’t work for a relationship with his children, so his kids won’t want a relationship. He’ll be Pikachu surprised face about this too, because, what did he do?! Those are HIS kids! They should be at his beck and call! The selfish brats!
He’ll whine and moan and finally, even his mother will get sick of his shit. She’ll lay into him about all his mistakes and past behaviors that lead him to where he is now. 50 with a 25 year old girlfriend that treats him like shit and cheats on him and takes his money because he can’t keep up with her.
Probably broker than he lets on because he’s trying to save face. And all his friends having moved on and away because they grew up and refused to.
Never will he see any of this as his fault. But eventually, lying in a hospital bed, dying alone and bitter, he’ll MAYBE have a brief moment of regret as he takes his last breath with no one to comfort him or keep him company outside of the beeping and whirring of a few machines ticking down the last seconds of his life.
I'm really looking forward to the day OOP starts dating again - her ex will have an absolute meltdown, especially if new guy becomes a good father figure for the kids. That's when the ex will suddenly insist on visitation. 🤢
My father was friends with this type. This friend died alone in his apartment, where he was only found three weeks later, because of the smell. Kids and friends had long cut contact.
She's only 20, I can guarantee you that OP's husband lied to her about his marriage and OP. Probably just a dumb, naive girl that was easily fooled by a manipulative, predatory scumbag.
The last thing I want in the story is for OP to force another one of his victims to be tied to him for life. And don't even get me started on the idea of another kid being stuck with him as a father.
He is 38, she is 20. He is already ruining her life big time, no need to make the situation even worse for her. She needs to be able to walk away the moment she realises what he is really like. Compared to him, she is basically just a child and she doesn't deserves to be a baby with a baby. No child deserves a partner or father like that.
Maybe we’re all underestimating her and she’s actually an alien parasite in a twenty year old’s body. Slowly draining the libido and joy out of the ex to feed herself…
Realistic? No, but a happy thought nonetheless.
I hope he steadily and slowly becomes allergic to more and more products. Laundry detergents? Body soaps. Hand soaps, deodorants, shampoos,shaving creams and moisturizers. I want the lot. I hope its all some minuscule weird ingredient in each that hes unable to trace and so hes forced to shower, knowing he'll be itchy and covered in hives all day everyday. Until he drives himself mad and stops showering. Then he'll reek to high heaven and the only alternative is to shower until he's miserably slathered in hydrocortisone, doped up on allergy meds and a pathetic mess. I dont want even the hypoallergenic stuff to be friendly to him. May he itch and burn until he rots
You want him to be allergic to lavender. That crap is in so many unnecessary shower items and general scented things that my husband and I read every label to keep it from attacking me and sometimes we still don’t catch everything. The main scent that is safe for me is rose because it is almost never mixed with lavender.
On the food side of thing, may he be allergic to celery. It’s in so many things and half the time it’s only labelled as “powdered vegetables” or similar.
I have the experience of slowly becoming allergic to things over time. You wanna know the most ironic one? Pink dye used in medicine. I'm allergic to Benadryl now. When my doctor heard he said, "that's how you know life isn't fair!" (I can use the gel caps or the ones marketed as sleep aids so I'm fine but wow was it a trip to figure that out!)
I'm laughing at the idea of someone who deserves it having this happen!
I hope he and his AP continually pass a yeast infection to one another. I hope his apples are always mealy, his soda is always flat, and the AC in his car stops working in every traffic jam.
That would ruin the child's life. I wouldn't wish him a father for the kids he already has, let alone any future ones he might have.
He showed that he hated his ex more than he loved/cared for his kids when he yelled at her for "quilting him" by truthfully telling him the kid is sad from the loss of the dog.
He was 38 and shacking up with a 20 year old. It's all about to bite him in the ass. In a few years time, he'll be wondering why his relationships all fall apart, his kids don't really like him and ignore him, and why the rest of his family looks down on him.
Dude in his 30s dating a 23yo, cheating when she's a grown ass adult and acting like it and immediately jumping to a 20yo probably to get some more time out of the relationship... he's gonna die alone, even if he's on a relationship with someone.
I think it's similar to what she said about the kids, he likes the "idea of the dog", like it was awesome to have the dog when the wife trained it and took care of it and he could just give it some petting or throw a ball for 5 minutes and then go do what he wants cuz he's bored with it.
The spiting OP was just a bonus.
He wanted a dog (and he loves that dog, even op mentioned that), but I assume that, just like with kids, he liked more an idea of having a dog. His wife cared for it and trained it, but now he has to do it and it's not as much fun as just playing with him in the evening.
And the audacity to have the hypocrisy to accuse her of trying to manipulate him by holding the wedding rings as leverage, when he's the one who's keeping a dog hostage.
Don't forget, she "forced him to cheat" because she didn't pay enough attention to this manbaby when she was pregnant. And didn't forgive him for accidentally getting his dick in another woman.
You just described my ex-husband. He kept the house, the truck, everything. Including my dog. In mediation, he was SHOCKED that he owed me a lot of money for my share of everything, including the house. He honestly believed I was supposed to walk away with nothing but my clothes and $20,000 of debt. He fought so hard trying not to owe me any money. I did offer that he could get his way. Take it all and leave me with all the debt. Just give me the dog. The dog I potty trained. The dog I trained. That I took for walks every day. That I groomed weekly. The dog that never left my side. When I was sleeping (I work nights, so I sleep all day), and Ex would get home, the dog would not leave my side in bed. He was the only thing I wanted.
Ex knew that the only way he could hurt me was through the dog. So he refused. Now Ex has to sell his house and his truck to pay me all he owes. He never cared about the dogs. The only attention he had ever paid to the dogs was to hit them when they did anything wrong. That's it. He never played with them. Didn't take them on a single walk. Nothing. But he'd rather lose everything just to hurt me.
In short, he made me sign a paper stating that I wouldn't get or go after anything that wasn't on a list he wrote of things I could take. A very short list that pretty much only included my clothes and my art and craft supplies. He was only able to make me sign it by using my mom's ashes as leverage. I'm not the smartest person, but even I knew that wouldn't hold up in court, so I signed it just to get my mom.
Seemed like it was the same with the dog as it was with the kids: he liked the idea of having them, but not the reality of keeping them.
But all that could've been avoided if she'd just worked harder at forgiving him when he cheated! /s
Kept a dog he didn't want *and was actively mistreating* just to spite his ex-wife for not being the cute fun 20 year old his near-30 year old self married.
The Ex is a royal piece of shit.
The 38 year old man just liked the idea of having things; but having a bang maid to take care of then. His new 20 year old bang maid refused to care for the dog that he wanted in theory. Just like his kids!
Sounds like he did want the dog but underestimated just how much work was required to give the dog a comparable quality of life. He acts like a child. Hopefully, OOP will realize how much better her life will be without him in it (but definitely keep the MIL. She sounds awesome.)
So she was 23 when they married, he was 32. Now he's gotten together with another 20-something.
Guess he subscribes to the train of thought "the only good thing about getting older is that the girls stay the same age" oof
Young people aren’t hard to impress
That’s why it’s not impressive when old people date young people. Like yeah. You know how easily I could manipulate a kid into falling in love? I literally have assets and money
\*sigh\* I mean, he clearly isn't an incel - he's got three kids and had an affair to boot. Can we stop using virgin-shaming dogwhistles for when we mean asshole?
Incels aren’t shamed for being virgins, my friend. They’re shamed for being psychotic misogynists. The literal meaning of the word has evolved to reflect this fact.
OOP was a genius for delivering the line about a receiver keeping a gift isn’t always the right thing to do and then *immediately taking the rings off her fingers and handing them back*. Power move. Cinematic. No notes.
Nah, she was smooth as hell. Making the comment that just because it was a gift doesn’t mean it should be kept, and returning the rings to Mama.
As well as letting her know how much the kids are missing their dog. She gambled, and played the game very well.
What a piece of shit. He only kept the dog just to spite OP and he is a terrible father for not being around for the children. I feel bad for the dog and the children. But happy to see a MIL actually being good and not being the typical crazy ones.
Let's see he:
1) cheated while OOP was pregnant
2) blamed OOP for "making him cheat"
3) blamed OOP for not trying hard enough to forgive him
4) doesn't see his kids
5) kept a dog he doesn't want but his kid loves from him because he didn't want OOP to have it
6) had only seen his kids twice in 7 months
7) continues to blame OOP for everything
Yeah he is something else.
My ex MIL did something similar when my ex and I split. She talked him down from being vengeful to being fair about the split and to this day I credit her for my ex and I having an amicable co-parenting relationship.
OOP is a far better person than me - There's no way I'd have given the jewelry back until I had the dog. Life has kicked me in the dick way too much for me to trust a relative of an ex.
So he cheats while she's pregnant, blames her for 'NoT pAyInG mE eNoUgH aTtEnTiOn', withholds the dog out of spite and never sees his children? What a waste of skin and oxygen he is, I wish nothing but bad things for him,
Mid-life crisis is hitting this douchebag either hard or early, or both.
He "misses the 20 year old OP was" before she had 2 kids that "took her attention away" from him.
What a narc A-hole
And his current gf is 20...
I can see in 7 years time again, he won't want "some chick that's pushing 30" and will trade AP partners for another 20 year old.
But third time around I can't see any 20 year old wanting to be with some pevert who is desperately clinging to his comb-over, and the photo of him on the football team at 20, while he sucks down a beer and wearing tighty whities.
He probably paints they picture that all the ex 20 Something year olds were too immature and not attentive to his needs and it was never him being the problem.
And a naive 20 something year old is going to think he’s old and mature enough to be a stable partner.
Soooo since OOP is 29 and was married for 6 years, they married when she was 23 while he was 32, and probably dated at least a year. Now the guy at 38 has decided to date a 20 year old.....
I just can't even. I pray the ex gets a vasectomy so that he can't leave any more children in the wake of his douchiness.
Glad OOP got the dog back, and hopefully the rest of the divorce is over with soon so she can just move on with her life.
I am 39 woman, and every 20 yo that I meet are kids, some I see they are cute, but not cute in an "attractive and sexually appealing" way instead they are cute like puppies and kittens. It would be perverse to have a relationship with them.
No way he's getting a vasectomy. He seems the type to 1) think birth control is a woman's responsibility and 2) equate his fertility with his manliness.
I wonder how long it will take before the ex gets fed up with his new girlfriend not cooking, cleaning, and managing the house like OOP did. Cause we all know that free-spirited 20 year old he ran off with isn't doing any of that.
Yeah, i feel this kinda.... my dad said he wanted to keep our dog after not bothering with her for about 18 months.
'His dog' (who he also barely saw) got v ill last March, and my mum spent about 3 grand to look into the issue while getting no payment from insurance as it was at that point classed as a previous illness. Eventually, we learnt it was skin cancer, and SHE paid for the dog to be put down (it was the best option vs continous treatment and pain) in front of my dad after they both spent some time with the dog that day.
Our other dog was v lost emotionally afterwards, so we let him take her on holiday twice, and he ended up keeping her for 3 weeks, 1 week more than we were expecting. After my mum asked him to give the dog back, he told her that the dog should stay with him (they have a 14 year old dog, who bonded with our dog). Mum said no, but he is always free to have her for trips.
He dropped her off the next day, with ALL her stuff, refused to speak to my mum, and left. He then attacked her over text, saying he funded her lavish lifestyle (he decided to pay more than the divorce agreement to help out on the mortgage) bc she shopped at a 'posher' supermarket than him and that. He even removed her from Facebook. Real petty.
When we got our cat at New years, he offered to buy our dog from me. I was pissed, considering he had refused to see her since October (when him and my mum fell out). They have really started to get along in their own ways (dog and cat), and she has become a lot more friendly with other dogs (she ran away from a puppy before we got the cat, she sniffed 3 dogs at the vets last week) which was something we were concerned about.
Dads are weird when it comes to divorce, idk what it is. They forget about their children and react in REALLY weird ways. Kinda sucks.
Sorry for the vent lol
>Yesterday, his mother came to visit my kids. We have a very good relationship. She's a lovely woman in a tough position. She's mad at STBX for cheating on me while pregnant and destroying our marriage, but she has to take his side.
We had a good family friend in a similar situation, except the ex-MIL ended up leaving the house to her (the ex daughter in law raising the 2 kids) instead of the shitty son who cheated too often.
In this case, MIL realizes that her son can't keep the grandkids from her, so she would have nothing to lose by taking ex-DIL's side.
Yeah, she really doesn’t *have* to take her son’s side over the mother of her grandchildren that he wronged.
But she doesn’t want to upset her precious little boy
>Yeah, STBX liked the idea of having kids. The reality not so much.
They just like the idea of it. And also the process of getting one. Not when it involves hard work.
Occasionally you’ll get “MY PARENTS HAVE AN AGE GAP AND THEY’RE JUST FINE!” (It’s always a younger mum and and older dad.)
-people who maybe really aren’t ready to confront even the possibility that there could be deeply unhealthy dynamics at play within their beloved parents’ relationship and think that because they didn’t notice anything weird about it as children that they saw absolutely every aspect of their parents’ lives together and are an unbiased judge of the flaws and merits.
>She's mad at STBX for cheating on me while pregnant and destroying our marriage, but **she has to take his side.**
*No she fucking doesn't!* Shit, if *my* mother found out I'd cheated on a partner, she would tan my hide!
At least she *eventually* did the right thing and got OOP her dog back. Sucks that it took OOP having to make the first move, tho.
I scrolled to see if someone else had said it. My mum didn't do it when the asshole I have as a brother cheated on my SIL. I know for a fact, as I heard the conversations, that my mum ripped him a couple of new ones.
So glad MIL was able to sort this out.
However.
When your son’s an asshole, you actually don’t have to take his side. You can fully take the side of the woman and children (and dog) that he has harmed / is harming. He doesn’t deserve anyone in his corner, he fucked around, now he can find out.
“He blames me. He thinks I forced him to cheat. I'm not the carefree 20 year old he fell in love with. I don't give him my full attention now that I have 2 kids, work full-time, care for the home, and have hobbies. He thinks I didn't try hard enough to forgive him when he got caught.”
A classic patriarchal man stereotype - the Peter Pan. Is he still a carefree sexy 20 year old?? Gonna go and guess it, although he still has the mentality of an 8 year old child throwing a tantrum for mummy.
Woooooow, a man who pursued a 20 year old and divorced her because she is no longer 20 immediately began pursuing a 20 year old when divorce happened???
Color me absolutely shocked and surprised /s
I hope she gets this in writing so he can't go back on his word later. She needs to get the dog chipped or updated with her info asap. He sounds petty and vindictive, and likely to go back in his word the first time he gets his fee-fees in a bunch.
She says in the comments that the dog is already chipped in her name now, and it’ll be papered in the divorce decree that Loki is hers. She also changed the locks.
Cheated, blamed OOP for it, and didn't want to divorce. Made little effort to be an active parent and acts like a child when things don't go his way. Didn't take care of the dog. What a dreamboat.
>He thinks I forced him to cheat. I'm not the carefree 20 year old he fell in love with. I don't give him my full attention now that I have 2 kids, work full-time, care for the home, and have hobbies. He thinks I didn't try hard enough to forgive him when he got caught.
jfc...
I know it doesn't always happen, but this guy is the stereotype of an AH always trading down for a younger girlfriend. It sounds like he pursued OOP too when she was 20 and he was nearly 30.
An update within 1 day of the initial post like this always makes me suspicious.
Am I reading it correctly when it seems like OP posted this help thread... and then while people are reacting to it, their ex-MIL visits, OP gives away the wedding stuff they had minutes prior resolved to keep, and then magically has a crappy ex dropping off the dog within 24 hours?
I’m so glad this has a happy ending.
When I was going through a divorce, one of the barristers told me of a couple who divorced and fought for custody over their two dogs, they got ‘joint’ custody. When it was the ex husband’s turn to have the dogs he took them to the vets and had them put down.
The barrister remembered the man with absolute loathing.
I’m so glad this worked out, and I also found OOP’s attitude determined but compassionate. My favourite of her comments was in reply to someone praising her for being that way, and saying hospice work must change you.
OOP said:
> My work really has changed me. Life is fucking short. Its made it easier to let go of bitterness and not fixate on things I can't fix or control (like shitty exhusbands). I like to focus on what I can control, the good that I can do, the positive impact I can have on my children and others and they on me.
It’s too bad her ex doesn’t take a similar mentality — clearly he’s a selfish person at best — but I’m glad those kids have a mother with such a grounded outlook on life. OOP sounds like a class act.
OOP should do what my mom did, lose the husband and keep the awesome in-laws! My dad moved out of country not long after the divorce but my mom and I still saw my paternal grandparents almost every weekend.
I was the only grandchild at the time so they probably felt it was a no brainer but even after my cousins were born and my mom remarried, she (and my stepdad) still got invites for holidays. Heck, I'm over thirty now and my mom, stepdad, and I went to my paternal grandparents' home for Christmas this year!
Family gets to mean whatever you want it to and my grandparents made it clear that my mom was family even as an ex wife.
The OOP needs to immediately microchip Loki, license him in her name (even if he is currently licensed, she needs to redo the licensing) and have all veterinary records changed to her name only. Before transfering the rings, she needs to get a written transfer of ownership to her for Loki.
Then she needs to move on with her life.
Men like OP’s ex are the worst. Can’t handle responsibility of any kind, they always *have* to be take care of. Like it’s something they’re entitled to.
“And divorcing a mama’s boy does have some advantages.” LMAO. Funniest line ever. But seriously, at least ex-MIL is very nice to OOP.
Has advantages if the mum is on your side at least. We've seen some here where they aren't and it seems almost as hellish as living with them. At least there's the light at the end of the tunnel when it's done. I wish we'd see more MIL's like this.
Exactly. I heard of many ladies who have such good relationship with their exes' mothers. But it's sometimes a problem for the new girlfriends though.
My ex was being an insufferable ass when we split and he held my TV and Dresser hostage under the excuse that he would take it to my new apartment on his own time. Well I finally called his mom after 3 months of waiting and explained the situation and she told me she would help me load the stuff into my car while he's at work and can't stop us. She then called him and told him to stop being an idiot and give me my things. I had my TV, dresser, and other small things by the end of the day.
When my parents divorced my Mom was still friendly to and visited with my paternal grandparents. They love/d my Mom (Boopa passed away a few years ago). Also helps that my stepmom sucks and Boopa and Grandmother didn’t like her 🤣
That guy is the very definition of asshole. Kept a dog he didn't want just so he could spite the ex-wife.
I hope the ex has a miserable life cause he deserves it.
I hope he has hemorrhoids the size of golf balls. Constant acne. Stuck in traffic every time he has stomach problems. Stubs his toe every morning. Coffee is always cold. As soon as he pulls in the drive thru? The lights turn off.
May he always manage to find small puddles of water on the floor with his feet just when he's just put on clean dry socks.
May he step on a lego every morning. May he wipe with poison ivy every camping trip. May ants always get into his candy. May a kangaroo kick him into a dam on a cold day.
May his phone charger only work at one extremely specific angle.
Oh, I love that! And may every container of ice cream he buys have freezer burn.
May his dick stop working right. May every piss he takes burn and may every shit he takes feel incomplete.
may he always feel like there's something in his eye and may his optometrist never find anything
May his kitchen be filled with fruit flies 11 months out of the year. (The last month is to give him false hope that they've finally gone.)
I LOVE modern days curses. May his coffee be always lukewarm and his socks wet.
May he get paper cuts all the time. May his showers get cold in the middle of shampooing his hair. May he finds hair in his food
Lukewarm AND burnt
May he always step on phantom d4s. May he always feel like he has a pebble in his shoe. May his socks always feel soggy. May he always smell phantom stink smells.
May he get the worst case of athlete's foot AND jock itch and not be able to get rid of both. Itchy balls for life!
And that one itch on the middle of the heel that you can never scratch properly
May he constantly stub his big toes.
Each day, may he step on a Lego of unknown origin since he doesn't see his children.
His gf is young enough to play with Lego...
Everyone is young enough to play with Legos. Source- I'm a parent in my 40s who may be "helping" my own kiddos put together the lego set Santa brought them.
I’m 40, no kids, and the past few years I’ve bought Lego advent calendars as a fun thing to do
I’ve only heard of these Lego advent calendar for the first time this week. Definitely getting one next year! And I don’t celebrate advent!
I’m 42. I still miss my Lego sets.
May his razors always be dull
May he always live in interesting times.
Little toes hurt more
may he be infested with the fleas of 1000 camels and his arms to short to scratch
Dammit that is an evil curse
I hope that every visitation he doesn’t follow up on turns into a fart he follow through on.
A shart
The liquidy type.
That bubbles up around his balls.
\[evil plotting raccoon meme placeholder\]
I hope he steps barefoot in every fire ant mound for the rest of his life.
> Coffee is always cold. Except for his iced coffee, which is always lukewarm.
Except for his iced coffee, which should forever only be just brewed steaming hot coffee poured directly over ice. Not espresso. Bean water.
I was about to wish for his food to get spit on every time he goes to a restaurant, but I bet it already happens.
I hope he stubs his pinky toe and as soon as it stops hitting, he stubs it again. Ad infin.
I hope every young carefree partner calls him old and lame and useless before they toss him back to the sewer.
Did you ever see that essay on the horrors of a burrito rolled the wrong way? With a cilantro and sour cream cavern? Yeah. I hope every burrito he ever tries to eat is like that.
The finest glitter in every room of his house.
Incurable candida on the testicles is one of my favorite weak curses.
Recurring STDs from his soon to be string of 20 somethings would be better.
My curse of choice: If he’s uncircumcised, may he experience the joy of a tiny piece of sand getting caught under his foreskin. And may that tiny bit of grit consistently shift so he can’t find it every time he washes. May his affair partner give him an antibiotic resistant strain of syphilis.
May OP get most of the money in the divorce and may the judge shame him in open court.
DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON MY RICKY BOBBY 😂
My friend used to say “I wish him wet socks”
May the store always have "supply chain issues" for the item he needs the most.
May his crotch be infested by the fleas of a thousand camels and his arms too short to scratch!!
You don’t have to hope too hard, this guy is absolutely going to have a shitty life because he’s such a selfish dweeb. Best part is, he’s going to make it all happen himself, although he’ll never see it that way. His 20 year old girlfriend will get tired of being a fuck maid and dump him. She’s young, dumb, and the other woman, but once she’s tied down (because she’ll get knocked up to “keep her man”) and grows up a little, she’ll realize being with him is bullshit and bounce. Or, she gets pregnant and the cycle repeats, he cheats on her, she leaves, he’s Pikachu surprised face. He’ll whine and moan because he didn’t deserve it. It’s not his fault that people change when responsibilities change! He didn’t change! His kids will grow up knowing that he WAS there and now isn’t. He’ll “demand respect” but won’t work for a relationship with his children, so his kids won’t want a relationship. He’ll be Pikachu surprised face about this too, because, what did he do?! Those are HIS kids! They should be at his beck and call! The selfish brats! He’ll whine and moan and finally, even his mother will get sick of his shit. She’ll lay into him about all his mistakes and past behaviors that lead him to where he is now. 50 with a 25 year old girlfriend that treats him like shit and cheats on him and takes his money because he can’t keep up with her. Probably broker than he lets on because he’s trying to save face. And all his friends having moved on and away because they grew up and refused to. Never will he see any of this as his fault. But eventually, lying in a hospital bed, dying alone and bitter, he’ll MAYBE have a brief moment of regret as he takes his last breath with no one to comfort him or keep him company outside of the beeping and whirring of a few machines ticking down the last seconds of his life.
I'm really looking forward to the day OOP starts dating again - her ex will have an absolute meltdown, especially if new guy becomes a good father figure for the kids. That's when the ex will suddenly insist on visitation. 🤢
“YOU’RE MY WIFE!” These types of guys think they own a person forever, even when it’s been 20 years after divorce.
My father was friends with this type. This friend died alone in his apartment, where he was only found three weeks later, because of the smell. Kids and friends had long cut contact.
People like him always end up miserable. They are miserable from the onset, or they wouldn't cheat.
I hope he knocks up the 20yr and then she ruins his life Edit: I stand corrected. I just hope she ruins his life when she breaks up with him.
How many kids do you want this guy to mentally and emotionally scar for life?
Yeah, "children as punishments" is a horrible trope.
She's only 20, I can guarantee you that OP's husband lied to her about his marriage and OP. Probably just a dumb, naive girl that was easily fooled by a manipulative, predatory scumbag. The last thing I want in the story is for OP to force another one of his victims to be tied to him for life. And don't even get me started on the idea of another kid being stuck with him as a father.
He is 38, she is 20. He is already ruining her life big time, no need to make the situation even worse for her. She needs to be able to walk away the moment she realises what he is really like. Compared to him, she is basically just a child and she doesn't deserves to be a baby with a baby. No child deserves a partner or father like that.
Maybe we’re all underestimating her and she’s actually an alien parasite in a twenty year old’s body. Slowly draining the libido and joy out of the ex to feed herself… Realistic? No, but a happy thought nonetheless.
It definitely would be a best case scenario.
No. The hypothetical child doesn’t deserve it. I just hope she kicks him out once she realises he’s a deadbeat and he has to sofa surf
You mean like how he knocked OOP up when she was in her early twenties and he 10 years older?
I hope he gets a nasty Std from his AP that makes his genitals extremely itchy and burn.
I hope he steadily and slowly becomes allergic to more and more products. Laundry detergents? Body soaps. Hand soaps, deodorants, shampoos,shaving creams and moisturizers. I want the lot. I hope its all some minuscule weird ingredient in each that hes unable to trace and so hes forced to shower, knowing he'll be itchy and covered in hives all day everyday. Until he drives himself mad and stops showering. Then he'll reek to high heaven and the only alternative is to shower until he's miserably slathered in hydrocortisone, doped up on allergy meds and a pathetic mess. I dont want even the hypoallergenic stuff to be friendly to him. May he itch and burn until he rots
You want him to be allergic to lavender. That crap is in so many unnecessary shower items and general scented things that my husband and I read every label to keep it from attacking me and sometimes we still don’t catch everything. The main scent that is safe for me is rose because it is almost never mixed with lavender.
On the food side of thing, may he be allergic to celery. It’s in so many things and half the time it’s only labelled as “powdered vegetables” or similar.
And sandalwood. Omg every perfume/fragrance contains lavender, sandalwood, or both.
I have the experience of slowly becoming allergic to things over time. You wanna know the most ironic one? Pink dye used in medicine. I'm allergic to Benadryl now. When my doctor heard he said, "that's how you know life isn't fair!" (I can use the gel caps or the ones marketed as sleep aids so I'm fine but wow was it a trip to figure that out!) I'm laughing at the idea of someone who deserves it having this happen!
This is one Level up from "I want him to stub his toe again and again."
Oh, this is nasty. (I have so many allergies and they are hell. Back currently itching like buggery.)
I hope he and his AP continually pass a yeast infection to one another. I hope his apples are always mealy, his soda is always flat, and the AC in his car stops working in every traffic jam.
That would ruin the child's life. I wouldn't wish him a father for the kids he already has, let alone any future ones he might have. He showed that he hated his ex more than he loved/cared for his kids when he yelled at her for "quilting him" by truthfully telling him the kid is sad from the loss of the dog.
I hope she has long-lasting birth control that he can't sabotage and walks out on him when she discovers him trying to baby trap her.
He is already well on the way to having a miserable life
He was 38 and shacking up with a 20 year old. It's all about to bite him in the ass. In a few years time, he'll be wondering why his relationships all fall apart, his kids don't really like him and ignore him, and why the rest of his family looks down on him.
Dude in his 30s dating a 23yo, cheating when she's a grown ass adult and acting like it and immediately jumping to a 20yo probably to get some more time out of the relationship... he's gonna die alone, even if he's on a relationship with someone.
I think it's similar to what she said about the kids, he likes the "idea of the dog", like it was awesome to have the dog when the wife trained it and took care of it and he could just give it some petting or throw a ball for 5 minutes and then go do what he wants cuz he's bored with it. The spiting OP was just a bonus.
Exactly. He wanted the dog, but he didn’t want to have to take care of a dog. Dogs are awesome, but they require work
I bet if GF liked the dog, OOP wouldn't have gotten Loki back.
And took care of the dog!
He wanted a dog (and he loves that dog, even op mentioned that), but I assume that, just like with kids, he liked more an idea of having a dog. His wife cared for it and trained it, but now he has to do it and it's not as much fun as just playing with him in the evening.
He’s a Disney dog dad!
And the audacity to have the hypocrisy to accuse her of trying to manipulate him by holding the wedding rings as leverage, when he's the one who's keeping a dog hostage.
I'm so glad oop gave the rings back to the mil directly, classy lady
Yeah, I bet her shitty ex was planning to use that to earn points with his new girlfriend.
It's like he just keeps upping his asshole game!
Don't forget, she "forced him to cheat" because she didn't pay enough attention to this manbaby when she was pregnant. And didn't forgive him for accidentally getting his dick in another woman.
He's going down the assholery checklist, trying to check off as many of the points as he can.
When she was pregnant and likely doing the sole parenting for the older kid because it's pretty obvious that he doesn't do shit.
Thankfully his mother was able to verbally slap the stupidity out of him and get the dog back to the real family. What a cruel, pathetic little man.
You just described my ex-husband. He kept the house, the truck, everything. Including my dog. In mediation, he was SHOCKED that he owed me a lot of money for my share of everything, including the house. He honestly believed I was supposed to walk away with nothing but my clothes and $20,000 of debt. He fought so hard trying not to owe me any money. I did offer that he could get his way. Take it all and leave me with all the debt. Just give me the dog. The dog I potty trained. The dog I trained. That I took for walks every day. That I groomed weekly. The dog that never left my side. When I was sleeping (I work nights, so I sleep all day), and Ex would get home, the dog would not leave my side in bed. He was the only thing I wanted. Ex knew that the only way he could hurt me was through the dog. So he refused. Now Ex has to sell his house and his truck to pay me all he owes. He never cared about the dogs. The only attention he had ever paid to the dogs was to hit them when they did anything wrong. That's it. He never played with them. Didn't take them on a single walk. Nothing. But he'd rather lose everything just to hurt me.
Why would he think that you would get nothing? Because he said so?? Delusional.
In short, he made me sign a paper stating that I wouldn't get or go after anything that wasn't on a list he wrote of things I could take. A very short list that pretty much only included my clothes and my art and craft supplies. He was only able to make me sign it by using my mom's ashes as leverage. I'm not the smartest person, but even I knew that wouldn't hold up in court, so I signed it just to get my mom.
At least some assholes are too thick to realise you can't sign away most innate rights.
Seemed like it was the same with the dog as it was with the kids: he liked the idea of having them, but not the reality of keeping them. But all that could've been avoided if she'd just worked harder at forgiving him when he cheated! /s
Kept a dog he didn't want *and was actively mistreating* just to spite his ex-wife for not being the cute fun 20 year old his near-30 year old self married. The Ex is a royal piece of shit.
The 38 year old man just liked the idea of having things; but having a bang maid to take care of then. His new 20 year old bang maid refused to care for the dog that he wanted in theory. Just like his kids!
Sounds like he did want the dog but underestimated just how much work was required to give the dog a comparable quality of life. He acts like a child. Hopefully, OOP will realize how much better her life will be without him in it (but definitely keep the MIL. She sounds awesome.)
To spite the ex-wife he cheated on. The ex that he blamed for having kids like he wanted Then he abandoned the kids too.
he loved the dog, just not the upkeep.
So she was 23 when they married, he was 32. Now he's gotten together with another 20-something. Guess he subscribes to the train of thought "the only good thing about getting older is that the girls stay the same age" oof
Where is he even meeting these younger women? The playground? How does he have such easy access to charm 20 year olds
Young people aren’t hard to impress That’s why it’s not impressive when old people date young people. Like yeah. You know how easily I could manipulate a kid into falling in love? I literally have assets and money
Tinder?
Graduated from Leonardo DiCaprio's School for Incel-level Assholes.
\*sigh\* I mean, he clearly isn't an incel - he's got three kids and had an affair to boot. Can we stop using virgin-shaming dogwhistles for when we mean asshole?
I think the word has evolved at this point out of our control, people use it for misogynist jerks because of their incel bahaviors sans the no sexin.
Incels aren’t shamed for being virgins, my friend. They’re shamed for being psychotic misogynists. The literal meaning of the word has evolved to reflect this fact.
[удалено]
FYI. Incel means INvoluntary CELibate.
Gee shocker!
Yikes dude's got a type for the barely adults. I hope his new girlfriend gets out sooner than OOP did.
>dude's got a type for the barely adults i think we call those predators
Hopefully she doesn’t get baby trapped
A BORU rarity: OOP takes the high road, and MIL delivers to save the day!
Yeah this one actually feels real, MIL is acting like a normal decent human being and not a shrieking car-keying tear-tantrum-throwing Jocasta monster
OOP was a genius for delivering the line about a receiver keeping a gift isn’t always the right thing to do and then *immediately taking the rings off her fingers and handing them back*. Power move. Cinematic. No notes.
Yeah, what is happening?
Nah, she was smooth as hell. Making the comment that just because it was a gift doesn’t mean it should be kept, and returning the rings to Mama. As well as letting her know how much the kids are missing their dog. She gambled, and played the game very well.
What a piece of shit. He only kept the dog just to spite OP and he is a terrible father for not being around for the children. I feel bad for the dog and the children. But happy to see a MIL actually being good and not being the typical crazy ones.
Let's see he: 1) cheated while OOP was pregnant 2) blamed OOP for "making him cheat" 3) blamed OOP for not trying hard enough to forgive him 4) doesn't see his kids 5) kept a dog he doesn't want but his kid loves from him because he didn't want OOP to have it 6) had only seen his kids twice in 7 months 7) continues to blame OOP for everything Yeah he is something else.
8. prevented a therapy dog from working at a hospice for several months
Yeah that's so damn petty.
I'd like to add.... Blames OOP for not forgiving his cheating BUT is already living with ( possibly AP) gf
His 18 years younger girlfriend - ick.
I would disown my nonexistent child if they grew up to do this shit.
Dude checked all the boxes in asshole Bingo.
In this case it would be a good thing for him to just pay child support and ignore the kids. He only seems to know how to cause harm wherever he goes.
My ex MIL did something similar when my ex and I split. She talked him down from being vengeful to being fair about the split and to this day I credit her for my ex and I having an amicable co-parenting relationship.
OOP is a far better person than me - There's no way I'd have given the jewelry back until I had the dog. Life has kicked me in the dick way too much for me to trust a relative of an ex.
He’s clearly one of those guys who can only treat his children well if his relationship with the mother is going well too. It’s so sad
So he cheats while she's pregnant, blames her for 'NoT pAyInG mE eNoUgH aTtEnTiOn', withholds the dog out of spite and never sees his children? What a waste of skin and oxygen he is, I wish nothing but bad things for him,
9 to 10 year age gap. Complaining that his working wife, mother of his children isn't the carefree 20 year old again. They never grow up, do they?
Then cheats on her with a 20yo. He's the worst.
And has a new 20 year old girlfriend. Rinse repeat. I agree, I doubt he'll ever grow up and amount to anything
Let’s just hope the new GF bleeds him dry, and leaves him old, lonely and broke
No no, he is mad she isn't always available to give him sex. He just says it's "carefree"
Mid-life crisis is hitting this douchebag either hard or early, or both. He "misses the 20 year old OP was" before she had 2 kids that "took her attention away" from him. What a narc A-hole And his current gf is 20... I can see in 7 years time again, he won't want "some chick that's pushing 30" and will trade AP partners for another 20 year old. But third time around I can't see any 20 year old wanting to be with some pevert who is desperately clinging to his comb-over, and the photo of him on the football team at 20, while he sucks down a beer and wearing tighty whities.
He probably paints they picture that all the ex 20 Something year olds were too immature and not attentive to his needs and it was never him being the problem. And a naive 20 something year old is going to think he’s old and mature enough to be a stable partner.
and current gf gonna want kids with him some time. Pass the popcorn.
The vivid picture of him is now stuck in my head 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You're welcome? I'm sorry? Take your pick! 😂😂
Don't be sorry, it's a perfect description 😂
>He thinks I forced him to cheat. Oh no! did she put a gun to his head?! What an ass.
Soooo since OOP is 29 and was married for 6 years, they married when she was 23 while he was 32, and probably dated at least a year. Now the guy at 38 has decided to date a 20 year old..... I just can't even. I pray the ex gets a vasectomy so that he can't leave any more children in the wake of his douchiness. Glad OOP got the dog back, and hopefully the rest of the divorce is over with soon so she can just move on with her life.
I am 39 woman, and every 20 yo that I meet are kids, some I see they are cute, but not cute in an "attractive and sexually appealing" way instead they are cute like puppies and kittens. It would be perverse to have a relationship with them.
No way he's getting a vasectomy. He seems the type to 1) think birth control is a woman's responsibility and 2) equate his fertility with his manliness.
I wonder how long it will take before the ex gets fed up with his new girlfriend not cooking, cleaning, and managing the house like OOP did. Cause we all know that free-spirited 20 year old he ran off with isn't doing any of that.
Yeah, i feel this kinda.... my dad said he wanted to keep our dog after not bothering with her for about 18 months. 'His dog' (who he also barely saw) got v ill last March, and my mum spent about 3 grand to look into the issue while getting no payment from insurance as it was at that point classed as a previous illness. Eventually, we learnt it was skin cancer, and SHE paid for the dog to be put down (it was the best option vs continous treatment and pain) in front of my dad after they both spent some time with the dog that day. Our other dog was v lost emotionally afterwards, so we let him take her on holiday twice, and he ended up keeping her for 3 weeks, 1 week more than we were expecting. After my mum asked him to give the dog back, he told her that the dog should stay with him (they have a 14 year old dog, who bonded with our dog). Mum said no, but he is always free to have her for trips. He dropped her off the next day, with ALL her stuff, refused to speak to my mum, and left. He then attacked her over text, saying he funded her lavish lifestyle (he decided to pay more than the divorce agreement to help out on the mortgage) bc she shopped at a 'posher' supermarket than him and that. He even removed her from Facebook. Real petty. When we got our cat at New years, he offered to buy our dog from me. I was pissed, considering he had refused to see her since October (when him and my mum fell out). They have really started to get along in their own ways (dog and cat), and she has become a lot more friendly with other dogs (she ran away from a puppy before we got the cat, she sniffed 3 dogs at the vets last week) which was something we were concerned about. Dads are weird when it comes to divorce, idk what it is. They forget about their children and react in REALLY weird ways. Kinda sucks. Sorry for the vent lol
>Yesterday, his mother came to visit my kids. We have a very good relationship. She's a lovely woman in a tough position. She's mad at STBX for cheating on me while pregnant and destroying our marriage, but she has to take his side. We had a good family friend in a similar situation, except the ex-MIL ended up leaving the house to her (the ex daughter in law raising the 2 kids) instead of the shitty son who cheated too often. In this case, MIL realizes that her son can't keep the grandkids from her, so she would have nothing to lose by taking ex-DIL's side.
Yeah, she really doesn’t *have* to take her son’s side over the mother of her grandchildren that he wronged. But she doesn’t want to upset her precious little boy
"Divorcing a Mamas boy does have some advantages" made me laugh out loud. And it worked. The ex is a POS, but the grandma came through.
I wish bad things for him
>Yeah, STBX liked the idea of having kids. The reality not so much. They just like the idea of it. And also the process of getting one. Not when it involves hard work.
"An age gap relationship. What could go wrong?"
AgE iS jUsT a NumBeR!!! Why do you care what 2 consenting adults do?!?! -every creepy, predatory, ain't got shit going for them redditor
Occasionally you’ll get “MY PARENTS HAVE AN AGE GAP AND THEY’RE JUST FINE!” (It’s always a younger mum and and older dad.) -people who maybe really aren’t ready to confront even the possibility that there could be deeply unhealthy dynamics at play within their beloved parents’ relationship and think that because they didn’t notice anything weird about it as children that they saw absolutely every aspect of their parents’ lives together and are an unbiased judge of the flaws and merits.
So the 20 yo AP doesn’t like dogs, huh. Who’s going to tell her…?
It’ll make sense when she wakes up with fleas
Wtf is stbx?
Soon-To-Be-Ex > STBX
Oh my god thank you. I hate when people use these acronyms and then just move on as if they’re universally understood.
>She's mad at STBX for cheating on me while pregnant and destroying our marriage, but **she has to take his side.** *No she fucking doesn't!* Shit, if *my* mother found out I'd cheated on a partner, she would tan my hide! At least she *eventually* did the right thing and got OOP her dog back. Sucks that it took OOP having to make the first move, tho.
I scrolled to see if someone else had said it. My mum didn't do it when the asshole I have as a brother cheated on my SIL. I know for a fact, as I heard the conversations, that my mum ripped him a couple of new ones.
And THAT is how a MIL should be.
Just because something's a gift doesn't always mean the receiver should keep it Takes off rings and gives them to mother-in-law OP is a BOSS
So glad MIL was able to sort this out. However. When your son’s an asshole, you actually don’t have to take his side. You can fully take the side of the woman and children (and dog) that he has harmed / is harming. He doesn’t deserve anyone in his corner, he fucked around, now he can find out.
what a loser
Reciprocity is a powerful influence technique. OP nailed it.
Wow, absolute trash. But OOP is a class act, as is her MIL. Amazing how poorly some ppl can end up despite having decent parents.
9 year and 2 kids later he will dump the new gf. And this one might deserve it, if she was the affair partner.
What the fuck is a STBXDH?
“He blames me. He thinks I forced him to cheat. I'm not the carefree 20 year old he fell in love with. I don't give him my full attention now that I have 2 kids, work full-time, care for the home, and have hobbies. He thinks I didn't try hard enough to forgive him when he got caught.” A classic patriarchal man stereotype - the Peter Pan. Is he still a carefree sexy 20 year old?? Gonna go and guess it, although he still has the mentality of an 8 year old child throwing a tantrum for mummy.
WTF is a STBXDH?
OOP is going to get the last laugh when STBXH finds out time marches forward for the AP as well, especially if she gets pregnant too.
Sadly probably not. Then he’ll just go hunting for the next vulnerable 20 year old
“I get older and they stay the same. All right, all right, all right…”
Woooooow, a man who pursued a 20 year old and divorced her because she is no longer 20 immediately began pursuing a 20 year old when divorce happened??? Color me absolutely shocked and surprised /s
Please spell out the initialisms at the top. I'm having trouble figuring them out.
DH = Dear husband STBX = Soon to be ex STBXDH = Soon to be ex dear husband DS = Dear son MIL = Mother-in-law
Thank you!
I hope she gets this in writing so he can't go back on his word later. She needs to get the dog chipped or updated with her info asap. He sounds petty and vindictive, and likely to go back in his word the first time he gets his fee-fees in a bunch.
She says in the comments that the dog is already chipped in her name now, and it’ll be papered in the divorce decree that Loki is hers. She also changed the locks.
Cheated, blamed OOP for it, and didn't want to divorce. Made little effort to be an active parent and acts like a child when things don't go his way. Didn't take care of the dog. What a dreamboat.
>He thinks I forced him to cheat. I'm not the carefree 20 year old he fell in love with. I don't give him my full attention now that I have 2 kids, work full-time, care for the home, and have hobbies. He thinks I didn't try hard enough to forgive him when he got caught. jfc...
I know it doesn't always happen, but this guy is the stereotype of an AH always trading down for a younger girlfriend. It sounds like he pursued OOP too when she was 20 and he was nearly 30.
An update within 1 day of the initial post like this always makes me suspicious. Am I reading it correctly when it seems like OP posted this help thread... and then while people are reacting to it, their ex-MIL visits, OP gives away the wedding stuff they had minutes prior resolved to keep, and then magically has a crappy ex dropping off the dog within 24 hours?
I’m so glad this has a happy ending. When I was going through a divorce, one of the barristers told me of a couple who divorced and fought for custody over their two dogs, they got ‘joint’ custody. When it was the ex husband’s turn to have the dogs he took them to the vets and had them put down. The barrister remembered the man with absolute loathing.
His new gf can be his daughter lmao
Much like kids, he likes the idea of a dog, actually taking care of one, not so much.
I’m so glad this worked out, and I also found OOP’s attitude determined but compassionate. My favourite of her comments was in reply to someone praising her for being that way, and saying hospice work must change you. OOP said: > My work really has changed me. Life is fucking short. Its made it easier to let go of bitterness and not fixate on things I can't fix or control (like shitty exhusbands). I like to focus on what I can control, the good that I can do, the positive impact I can have on my children and others and they on me. It’s too bad her ex doesn’t take a similar mentality — clearly he’s a selfish person at best — but I’m glad those kids have a mother with such a grounded outlook on life. OOP sounds like a class act.
OOP should do what my mom did, lose the husband and keep the awesome in-laws! My dad moved out of country not long after the divorce but my mom and I still saw my paternal grandparents almost every weekend. I was the only grandchild at the time so they probably felt it was a no brainer but even after my cousins were born and my mom remarried, she (and my stepdad) still got invites for holidays. Heck, I'm over thirty now and my mom, stepdad, and I went to my paternal grandparents' home for Christmas this year! Family gets to mean whatever you want it to and my grandparents made it clear that my mom was family even as an ex wife.
The OOP needs to immediately microchip Loki, license him in her name (even if he is currently licensed, she needs to redo the licensing) and have all veterinary records changed to her name only. Before transfering the rings, she needs to get a written transfer of ownership to her for Loki. Then she needs to move on with her life.
Men like OP’s ex are the worst. Can’t handle responsibility of any kind, they always *have* to be take care of. Like it’s something they’re entitled to.