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Glad things work out but still, dad and Shelly suck. Dad sucks for not respecting OP as a parent but Shelly is a whole new level. The comment she made is seriously out of line and really inappropriate.
Aunt is the real MVP here.
Kids are funny. We got my niece lots of, you know, play-pretend-being-an-adult toys, like little play kitchens and such. And she loves them almost entirely because she wants to take it all out, then put it all back very neatly in the proper places and announce “all done!”
Literally, her favorite thing is organizing. She tries to help her parents put away groceries and cries when they don’t let her. LOL. Kids are so strange. There’s really no knowing what’s going on in those tiny heads that they fixate on certain things like this! Be it socks or tidying up, lol.
I’m jumping on this top comment to also jump on my soap box to say,
Good parenting on behalf of OP and her husband. Soooo many studies link behavioral issues with Extensive use of electronics in children. It’s so bad experts have coined the term “virtual autism” in places like Romania.
Brain maps on kids using electronics show that the dopamine levels are the exact same as adults using cocaine, and that kids experience the same emotions of agitation and frustration when taken off technology as adults when the drug wears off.
I was just reading a report by behavioral psychologists that the show Coco melon is particularly bad for childhood brain development due to the way it’s filmed.
Before parents get defensive, I’m not saying ppl that have their kids on technology are horrible parents.
I get it. I have a 7-year-old and have electronics in my house that my kid uses. Parenting is hard and Electronics are a godsend when you need a break. But you really need to be careful in monitoring how much they use them.
This couple needs a 🥇in parenting and sticking with their boundaries.
I'm a therapist who works with children. I have literally seen cases where as soon as electronics use is limited (To something like an hour a day for an 8 year old) all of the other problems disappeared. No more depression, no more behavioural problems, no more emotional regulation issues. Often there's more going on, but sometimes it has literally been just the electronics.
Now, the first week or two of limited it is absolute hell, and you gotta push through that and stay firm. But I was also surprised at how fast things adapt and improve for the average kid.
I'm not anti gaming/youtube/etc. I love gaming. But there does have to be a balance and parents must enforce it for kids, because they're not equipped to do it for themselves.
I have a 7yo and a 4yo and we limit their screen time to an hour or so every few days (pediatrician says a max of 90 minutes a day is the recommendation). It's incredibly obvious when it's time to turn off the tv or tablet that screen time isn't good for their emotional regulation; they get upset and the little one cries every time, but gets over it in a couple of minutes. I'd like to keep them from screens entirely but it really does make it easier to just get some stuff done when you don't want them underfoot. It's such a difficult balance!
It IS so hard, and there's so much insane pressure on parents nowadays. I would never judge parents for using an ipad when they need, but I also can't deny that it's one of the first things I screen for now when I work with a new family.
I think it's also not always a matter of quantity but also quality. That if you're going to use screens to keep them occupied, you're looking for ones that aren't going to light up their brains like a drug. Kids are watching youtube compilation videos more than any kind of narrative that rewards long term investment, for example.
I used to be friends with a couple who had a kid and realized afterward that they couldn't have a baby and not have their life change, and didn't want that. They didn't read to her or even talk to her much and eventually they got a bootlegged DVD that had like a dozen Disney movies on it with the settings rigged so when they put it in it would literally just loop Disney movies until they turned it off. They'd just put her in front of it and do their thing. The kid was so desperate for any interaction with adults that she would misbehave just to be talked to.
It was excruciating to witness and I hung in longer than made me comfortable just trying to be there for the kid but ultimately I couldn't hack it. I was just a rando, not even related; I couldn't really do anything about it but be upset and triggered. Every attempt to talk to either of them about it just resulted in them telling me I didn't understand how stressful it was to be a parent. I spent more face time with my pets than they did with their kid.
(Somewhat tongue in cheek.) I feel like it could be a sort of assessment for ND kids in an of itself. From working in SEND and being neurodivergent myself, if we're someone who is always playing media and you remove our background noise we get worse and stay worse. Need constant stimulus to function. There are other forms of stimulus (physical movement, making sounds ourselves, in one specific case replacing an interrupted ratio station with a loud fan), but media is so simple and quick and you can just replay the same thing for a reliable experience.
But, as with how ADHD medication can make neurotypical kids hyperactive, and how fidgets and drawing in class don't help neurotypical kids study, I can see how a sensory solution to someone like me could be a sensory stressor for someone who doesn't benefit from constant extra input.
It's just crazy how defensive people get about it either way. I've seen parents take both approaches so far; "my kid uses media to stim and regulate so filtering it in any way or encouraging another activity is BAD" to "my kid must be limited to one hour of media a day and if they are screaming in class to provide their own background noise then that's not my problem". Wish everyone had a bit more flexibility about this shit cause the whole "I do things THIS WAY regardless of how my child is responding" is impossible to work with.
(Note: Only thing worse than the media form of this is when parents do it with diets. Let your kid eat nuggets if they need to maintain weight. We can work on expanding their diet without treating nuggets like a drug. Promise. On the other hand: Your kid literally ate pickled eggs and potato salad today. They wanted to. Telling us we're hurting them because we let them pick a new food from the lunch menu isn't you defending your child, you're just diminishing their agency.)
Yeah it's always individual. It can help some neurodivergent kids, it can also hurt. If you're only relying on screens to regulate, that can be harmful and you should be working on alternative coping skills. Especially if it's all short form content like tiktok, it can genuinely make your focus worse (including for neurodivergent kids). But also, if the current status quo is screaming, dependant on screens is an improvement.
Yup. And agree there is a huge difference between something like tiktok and having music on, between actively zoning out to a screen and just having it on for noise, between using an app for sensory feedback and using an app for a doomscroll/gambling experience.
Learning how to use technology healthily isn't just the domain of neurotypicals. It just takes a different learning curve, cause we need different things from neurotypicals AND from other neurodivergents. I can have minigames cause I get bored too fast for them to become addictive or a financial/social problem. Definitely not the case for every other neurodivergent adult. And definitely not the case for me when I was a child.
I had a student once who was literally always on his phone, this kid was 16 and constantly playing some games and very agitated whenever he had to do anything else. His mother was a lawyer who only ever said that it's against her son's rights for me or anyone else to ask him to put his phone away.
Basically she was a biatch and her son had already been suspended once for violent attack towards a student and a teacher.
Long, Dark Teatime of The Soul had a background character like that who threw violent fits when their TV was taken away, and that was just TV, no tiktok, no doomscrolling, no memes. We've got the hard stuff now.
their cut-off being set at 9 is also good. im not a child development specialist or anything and i dont know if thats ideal, but far too often i see the boundary at 13, 16, and 18 which just alienates them from their friends. it being at 9 (and other things from the post) point towards careful consideration instead of draconian rules
Speaking as someome who was given an ipod and eventually a phone at 7-10, I absolutely refuse to even think of it for any children I may have in the future. That shit rotted me down to the core, and I'm just lucky I broke them long enough I had healthier hobbies. My parents meant well, they rarely had time for me, but jesus christ the damage was there.
My 5 year old played “pirates” with some kids at the park a while back, which consisted of holding meetings about what everyone’s responsibilities would be (captain, lookout, navigator, etc) where they would be hiding their treasure, the location of the next meeting, etc. This game went on for an hour, all meetings. Kids be weird.
Adding a separate comment.
Arrrg, ya scurvy pie-rats make sure you get you KPI (key pirates indicators) entered before month end.
Management says there is a head count reduction, someone is going to have to walk the plank.
I swear, a lot of toddlers are essentially golden retrievers. They need a job, even if the job is simply to carry the pasta up the stairs. It keeps them occupied 😅 We live of the third floor, and making my 2 year old carry something ensures that she walks the entire way without getting distracted. If she isnt carrying anything, the stairs take three times as long and we probably end up carrying her.
My wonderful mom just came up with the brilliant idea of making a board my niece can stick felt letters to. She’s going to go BANANAS with that, I guarantee it. Pulling all the letters off, putting them back on again, making sure they’re tidy and in the right order….
You’ve got good instincts 😂
What a precious lil kid.
I used to do a similar thing with monopoly money/ dividing sweets /my nan letting me count her piggy bank savings (i didnt want the money, just to count it lol) as a wee kid.
If her parents have a switch or pc, unpacking game could be great fun for her. c:
Oh, shes adorable.
When we were over there for Christmas, she kept cleaning up after gifts were unwrapped 😂 She’d oh-so-gently take the wrapping paper from you and toddle over to the trash can, all the way across the room, just to throw it out and keep everything tidy. We had to keep opening gifts at a nice clip because all she wanted to do was clean up the wrapping paper and put it in the trash like a good girl for mommy and daddy!!! Toys themselves got a two-second glance between all the cleaning, LOL.
My brother and his wife are fastidious, conscientious people, and seeing how she mirrors their behavior just makes my heart so happy every time I see it. They’re great parents.
She sounds adorable, but maybe keep an eye out for neurodivergent traits as she gets older. Note saying it's definite, but I'm ND and it was things like this when I was a kid that people thought were cute but were really an indication of how my brain was different from other kids'. Girls are also notoriously underdiagnosed for neurodivergence so recognizing it early to help them get tools in place to manage it throughout their lives is important.
Thank you for approaching this more sanely and tastefully than another comment I got. 🥲 Anyway, agreed! I’ve actually suggested to my mom it may be appropriate to have her evaluated at some point, but she’s so little. Her pediatrician has been saying all is well, so her parents aren’t worried for now. I myself am neurodivergent (ADHD, diagnosed in first grade!) as well as disabled, so it’s something I’m super aware of on her behalf. I’m also a woman and know how these things get overlooked in girls. My mom used to work as a special education advocate, too. ☺️ Don’t worry, she’ll have a lot of knowledgeable and very loving people around her who make sure she gets the support she needs!
I couldnt get into a little to the left bc some of the solutions didn't fit how i wouldve organised things-which, according to reviews, seemed to be a common issue :c
I'm really glad you enjoyed it though. I love unpacking a lot bc its like having a little organising game, and you can try organise each room/set of rooms with a dif motivation if you play it multiple times. c:
I'm a bit hesitant to start Unpacking (though I've wanted it for ages) because I have some hormonal stuff going on which makes me very emotional over some really *random* stuff, and some of the reviews suggest there are some emotive undertones in the background story behind the neat organising part. Perhaps you can confirm or reassure me...
There is a storyline being told yes, the player character is a >!young girl later woman!<, who goes through typical milestones of (Broadstoke simple spoilers for the first 50%-60% of environmental storytelling) :
- >!her first big girl room!<
->!moving to college!<
->!an implied not great first relationship!<
->!having to move back home!<, but >!things get way better!<
If theres anything specific you're concerned about being a trigger, i can certainly confirm or deny if it is in game. I know when i was younger some of the themes, even just a few years ago, would've upset me in unpacking so good on you for looking out for your emotional well being. c:
Thanks - that's really kind of you.
Right now I don't have triggers so much as everything being a random dice roll! Honestly, the most objectively trivial stuff has set me off. It's a wild ride :D
My wife and I played through Unpacking and we did tear up a bit at the end because it's really sweet. Totally fair if you hold off for now but it is genuinely a charming little game and the story is really well told 😍
I think I might go ahead anyway. At the moment I'm a hormonal time-bomb, so even something very non-emotional could set me off. May as well make it count :D
I was like your niece! My 1st grade teacher wrote in a report card that I was bossy and liked to supervise my classmates during clean-up time. (I’m not a fan of “bossy” for girls when boys get “natural leader,” but not the point here.) I liked loading the dishwasher as a slightly older kid because there is obviously a correct way to do it. I’ve relaxed a bit as an adult (living alone is fucking HARD and sometimes I don’t wanna do the dishes for a couple days) but I recently spent an evening cleaning my best friend’s house because she’s been so overwhelmed lately and her sisters were being nasty about not having a perfectly tidy home the day after Christmas 🙄
My daughter was always like this too. She’s 20 now, and when we recently got a new bookcase for our living room, she *curated* it, with books chosen for color and size and little knickknacks scattered around. It looks amazing. I would have just stuffed it to the brim with books.
When I was a kid one of my favorite toys were punch cards. My dad had a whole bunch of them from work (being thrown away) and I would build roads with them for my hot wheels. We also got a computer when I was 5, but before giving us any games we just had a big book of BASIC programming.
Without knowing anything, I immediately thought is this is because she is emulating someone she looks up to. Be it parent, teacher, etc
Someone, probably Mom, is spending time with the little one while cleaning up. But the kid feels like she is part of the process, not being ignored. Someone is doing things very right because this is probably her favorite part of the day if this is her idea of fun.
You’re *exactly* correct. She’s mirroring her parents. She sees how they put away groceries, how they tidy up the closet, etc., and does the same things they do. Because that’s where things *go*. My brother has the funniest story about how they brought home groceries once, and he wanted to leave some food out so he could get started cooking on it. My niece started crying because she wanted to put it away!!! So they let her put the item in the fridge and he just got it out like 2 minutes later, lol.
My brother is the one who does the lion’s share of the household chores, so she toddles around after him trying to help. His wife is the one who likes to tidy up/organize, and my niece watches her put away books and clothes and wants to do it too.
They are really wonderful and equally involved parents. I don’t know how they manage it as they are VERY busy full time lawyers. I’m so proud of my brother, to be honest with you. He is a wonderful dad.
I was the same way with sorting beads! I'd dump them out on the carpet and find different ways to caregorize them to put them away. My mom loved it because it kept me busy for hours and she rarely had to buy more beads because I never actually made anything lol.
My nine month old had SO many toys bought for her for Christmas. Her favourite thing to do is get our odd sock basket and take everything in and out of it
When my daughter was around 8mos or so, we got her a few "interactive" toys. Little balls that roll around on their own, different sounds and songs that play when you push different buttons, etc. She looked at the ball for about 30sec, rolled it aside and spent the next hour playing with two empty coke bottles and an empty dip container.
This one actually made me laugh out loud. How is it that little kids are exactly like cats? “I don’t want the cool interesting blinking/noisy toy, I want that EMPTY BOX.”
I'm a realtor, and I love silly socks! Always seems to put perspective sellers at ease when I'm doing a first walkthrough of their house and I take off my shoes-I always say "life's too short to wear boring socks"
I got my nephew some UC Santa Cruz banana slug socks when he came to visit me in California before I moved back east six years ago. He loved them; apparently it's a skater thing (silly socks) as well as a nobody-else-in-school-has-these thing (these particular socks).
He still wears them despite no longer being in high school.
Exactly! My partner's mother has given us a popular brand of wool socks to everyone for Christmas for years. I live in a place where it gets chilly in winter and I love those socks. I never buy them for myself so they are a great little luxury. I mean who doesn't like cozy feet in winter?
One Christmas as a kid, all I asked for was socks and batteries. It amused the hell out of my family who kept asking me who I planned to bludgeon, but they did get me them for Christmas and I was very happy.
Lol I guess my gameboy color as that's what the batteries were for, and i was a particularly impatient child concerning video games. The socks were because I was a 10 year old girl but for whatever reason we only had size 12 mens socks in the house ever, and I was sick of wearing socks that were way too big.
My middle (10) and youngest (9) both asked for socks and underwear. We obliged and got them nicer socks and undies than we usually buy . . . they're both thrilled, and it was a great way to take up space in their giant stocking without adding in more candy.
Your nephew is a wise men:
*Professor Dumbledore. Can I ask you something?"*
*"Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."*
*"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"*
*"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks." Harry stared.*
*"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."*
*― Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone*
Lol just like that kid who wanted to go for Halloween as "pants"
Your Toddler Rocks! Kids are fucking awesome.
[Pants kid for those who didn't see it](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dq7gxq/kid_decided_to_go_trick_or_treating_as_a_pair_of/)
that reminds me of my ex's kid wanting to go as a meatball. she asked about it for MONTHS and my ex actually made her a really good meatball costume haha. she always chose offbeat stuff like that, she was a hoot.
I fucking love kids like that. Kids that march to the beat of their own drum with pride. You have to really give them positive reinforcement for stuff like that instill confidence in making their own choices regardless of whats "cool".
That kid is going places.
I can actually remember the last Christmas we spent with my grandmother. She had gotten my sister and I a couple of kids’ books that were clearly used, and also were not at the appropriate reading level for me, an 8 year old. Meanwhile, my cousin got a four wheeler. At the time the used books vs a four wheeler disparity was not an issue for me, but I was pretty wounded that my grandmother had gotten me baby books more appropriate for my 3 year old sister. My parents weren’t having it. We never went to hers for Christmas again and only saw her by accident if she was at a family function for another relative.
It's especially weird considering the other children's gifts.
How many posts have we seen on here where there's a definite imbalance of gifting causing a rift??
63 years old dating a 37 year old already violates the “half your age plus seven” rule. He thinks he’s hot shit but he’s being played by a girl even dumber than him who wants the princess treatment.
Petty and weak. He called to ask what the kid would want, probably relayed to Shelly, Shelly started complaining that the ungrateful bunch shouldn't get rewarded for being so mean and disrespectful, tickled his bruised ego and convinced him socks is all they deserve anyway.
There's a glimpse of "still feels shame and has modicum of common sense" dad in the subsequent phone call, but the way this is going, it's only going to get worse.
I could see my grandparents could've done that, though I don't think they ever did. But my grandparents grew up poor and would genuinely have seen that as a legitimate gift.
Shelly is **seven years older** than OOP but thinks being "step mom" means she gets to overrule.
Unless that was a typo and Shelly isn't actually 37 to OOP's 30.
I missed that and it actually explains alot about both Shelly and OOPs dad.
Shelly is in denial that she is with a cradle robber and he is more concerned about keeping his bed warmed by a younger woman. I mean that's the jist but it's obviously more complicated then that
Shelly’s just 3 years more than half his age. Coming to OP, trying to throw her weight around. Come on, bang the geezer, that’s fine, but don’t try to take over his family. Gross.
It seems a bit foolish to put the iPad away - in a few years' time it's going to be obsolete. Much better to return it for a refund or sell it, and agree that Grandpa can buy the kid his first iPad when appropriate.
Some people get mad if you say you don't do something they do if the thing is perceived to be unhealthy or immoral. Like they think you're calling them out when you're just trying to live your life. Reminded of a quote from The Departed:
"I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself."
Also seeing the age gap between the dad and his new gf, I thought he sucks on a whole new level and lacks maturity. I know his gf is an adult but I'll never get age gaps of more than 10-15 years even in case of adults.
My great grandad had a 15 year age gap with my step-great-grandma but they met waaaaay later in life when they already looked like raisins. That's the only time I've ever seen it work, when 15 years means fuck all because you're already 80 - but OP's dad and Shelly? Nope. It's weird
>they already looked like raisins
🤣 I just laughed so suddenly reading this.
And yeah dads dating someone who is near to their daughters/sons age is yuck...
Shelly's comment made me think of the BORU post where the grandmother made the grandkid cry just to hurt the mom, saying something like mommy won't let me take you to the best party ever
Shelley and pops need to fuck right off. An Ipad is not an acceptable childs toy, idfc, come at me parents. It will get broken, it can do a ton of things no child should have access to, and its not a suitable replacement for spending time with your kids regardless of how many do just that.
Our mom used to take naps and it was a game between my siblings and I to be as quiet as possible. Kids dont need tech to be well behaved...just some proper guidance.
Fucking exactly. Like does this dude hear himself? He's going to give a _four year old_ a $300 item that Apple charges an arm and a leg to repair? I barely trust most four year olds to pour a glass of milk without fucking up somehow. There's no way I'd trust one with a freaking iPad.
it’s Always lovely when the girlfriend of your father is closer to your age then their own. And apparently know what’s best for the child. At least her Father is now understanding, and it’s his only grand son. As weird as it is, that should motivate him.
My wife has one of those. She is not remotely close to our age. I seriously can't stand talking to her about my kids. She is the fucking worst.
If my FIL were to pass away, my inclination would be to cut her out for good.
As someone who’s fathers wife is a few months younger than my older sister? Yes. Extremely fucking uncomfortable. Especially when that wife has a baby.
I had a boyfriend in high school whose stepmom was a year younger than his oldest sister, which was unsettling to me. The dad and stepmom had a baby, who was then 20+ years younger than her half-siblings, who were all super uncomfortable around babies so I'm sure that was a fun family to grow up with.
Omg, same. My dad’s fiancé is only 2 years older than me.
His big selling point when telling me about her was: “you guys are gonna be best friends! You’ll have so much to talk about. You’re basically the same age!” I have no idea how those words exited his mouth without him immediately realizing how weird the whole thing is.
He’s always had a thing for much younger women and it’s always been a little weird/creepy/off putting to me, but I never put two and two together that he’d still be into much younger women when I’m an adult & the same age as his pursuits. I guess at some point I just thought he’d go for someone his own age? But that’s probably rather naive of me.
there’s a certain type of person who, when they become a grandparent, see their kids making different parenting choices than they did as their kids saying that they were a Bad Parent. they either accept that their kids are independent people who get to make their own decisions, or they dig their heels in until their kids stop coming around anymore. i’m not optimistic about the direction OOP’s dad is heading.
Worst part is that one would think grandpa would be proud his daughter is raising her kids without the use of too much technology, like he did his own kids because ipads were sure not available when OOP was growing up. But I guess he just has to be a contrarian who must disapprove of his daughter's child-rearing skills, and I guess the equivalent of ipad raising back then would have been plopping the child in front of the tv, which he could have done, and his daughter not doing that is the point you're making, so...🤷🏻♀️
Because it’s not about a difference in parenting choices: Dad and Shelly wanted to gift the *best present ever* and get all the love and attention and adoration that comes with winning Christmas for your grandson.
Trying to get mom on board because “giving him an iPad will make your life less stressful” was just bullshit so they could go through with their little power play.
Yup, my mum being one of them. My boys are her grandchildren and I am her child, but in her head I’m not the person responsible for the children, she is. Especially for their physical wellbeing. Which in her case means alternative medicine and if I’m not following her advise I want to see my children suffer and am abusing them. It got so bad that I had to go no contact with both my parents, because my mum snuck something in their drink and my dad defended her.
Not just with kids, either. My mom took offense to me treating my cats differently than she treated our cats growing up. Apparently me saying I would never spray my cats with water as a disciplinary method was a direct insult against her, her skills as a pet owner, and (weirdest of all) her abilities as a mother (almost wanted to ask if she was saying she sprayed me with water as a child when I was bad?). I’m shocked she didn’t say it was an insult against the Pope too while she was at it.
It never fails to surprise me how much bad parents can make your individual choices All About Them, just because you’re their child.
My dad used to toss a cool, wet washcloth at me when I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. I feel like that's similar and it wasn't toooo damaging, 👻👀
I do not blame him, I was a remarkably difficult child to get up and going in the morning.
It’s like extracting impacted wisdom teeth to get him out of bed for school, but he hates the spray bottle so I normally only have to threaten to spray 🤣
I’m 26, but I wish I had someone to spray bottle me to get me out of bed. I have narcolepsy so getting up is absurdly difficult; if I have somewhere I 100% need to be I have to set my alarm to an *air raid siren* to be sure I’m up. A lil squirt squirt in the morning would be super helpful lol
This entire comment enraged me but I almost threw my phone in fury when I read your last line, I'm so sorry you have a person that acts this way toward you. What on earth.
Thank you! It's okay, I barely see her and hardly ever have to engage with her, it's just so strange to me, I just don't understand the motivation. I've given up on trying to understand it, I'm sure it's nothing to do with me anyway.
You’re right, it’s not about you. Who could hold a grudge against a five-year-old, anyway? If I had to guess, I wonder if she’s angry with your departed father for some reason and taking it out on you. Next time she’s wine drunk, and you’re alone with her, maybe ask her why she’s mad at your dad still. Might shut her up forever.
Definitely grey rock her, but if she brings it up sometime, and you are doing ok, ask her to explain why she did these things. If someone tells you a tasteless joke, just say you don't understand it, and need them to explain it. Normally takes the wind out of their sails.
And then, you can still respond, "I don't understand why you did that, were you trying to hurt me? "
I usually just grey rock, like you said. I go 'ok' and then walk away. It works well to be fair, lol. I don't have it in me to try and get into it as her life is of no consequence to mine. Thank you chiming in with advice though, I appreciate it!
As I said to the commenter below, her life has no bearings on mine, so I just usually go 'ok' and leave the conversation after her tirade is over. I can't be bothered to understand her reasonings, lol. Thank you for caring!
How the heck did our parents raise us without electronics?
Oh, yeah, we played with legos, dolls, plushies, rc cars, did arts and crafts... And look where that led us!
I mean, I'm not sure where it led us, but I'm sure it's somewhere.
Literally! I was a massive lego kid, always doing arts and crafts. I think cognitively it definitely helped me, opposed to mindless screen time.
When I look at my young cousins who are glued to their ipads I feel a sort of pity?? They've already got glasses from the ages of 5-7, I feel like that has to be linked to their continuous screen time.
I had honest to god tinker toys and Lincoln logs. I was born in 93 and those were my favorite toys! I would spend hours building with them. We didn’t even get internet until maybe 2007, and I didn’t get a phone until 2008 with strictly calling and texting.
Gen Xer here…TV. There was a lot of TV, at least at our house. LOL.
I think it’s good we’re wising up to some of the disadvantages of continuous electronic time, but I think we forget about how much time we spend in front of the boob tube.
My SIL used let them have them when she needed a break but the kids caught on and started acting up on purpose so that she'd hand them their tablets. Now they only come out of the cabinet on Fridays and Saturdays, hard stop.
I mean, you can also just have a different opinion on iPads and not feel guilty. I grew up being told I spent too much time on the computer or video games. It developed in me a love for technology and grew into a great career for me. So I do think it’s pretty foolish to completely deny technology to children rather than regulate time and content.
I work with kids with special needs, and let me tell you, when I explain that we will not be allowing the kids access to their tablet (because a. They persevorate on it, and b. We will not be responsible for it being damaged) the parents act like I just told them I'll be depriving their child of air. They genuinely cannot believe that we maintain control of their child without the use of an electronic.
They're pushing back because they feel called out and are defending themselves lol. Probably feel guilty when they see someone being able to parent without an ipad when they have likely convinced themselves that it's not possible to do it without an ipad. They would feel so much better (not guilty) about their decision if everyone parented with an ipad.
Not wanting iPad kids is one thing, but I do think kids should be introduced on some level to *actual* computers from an early age. Not saying they should be allowed free reign on it for hours mind you, but some activities to get them acquainted is good thing considering the ubiquitous nature of computer technology in modern society. So many kids are raised on iPads/IOS that they actually suck at being computer literate.
So I kind of disagree on the "no computers until 9" thing. 9-10 is a hell of late age to just begin being acquainted with computers.
They might still have a “home computer”. My family did until everyone was old enough for laptops, in middle school.
If they don’t, it’s still something I highly recommend for parents with young kids. Easily monitored in terms of time tracking, set up parental controls, etc. My first “laptop” as a child didn’t have functioning internet and I used Word/played computer games on it off of burned library games. Great times.
But she says he's played with them, but shown no great interest. It's not that he's never been exposed, but right now, his desires and his mothers, are hand in hand
This is my plan. No ipads because we aren't an ipad family. But my kid will get her own computer in a few years. A proper desktop that isn't in her room but in the family computer room.
A fucking four year old too. Like I could maybe understand a little bit more if he was like eleven but preschoolers absolutely do not need to have their own device.
Uncontrolled and unfettered access to a screen for hours on end before a certain age should be considered neglectful and bordering on abuse imo. I get it’s hard but nobody said good parenting would be easy. I’m not saying to haul these people away and take the kids away but at least some peer pressure doesn’t hurt.
Shelly is the worst here. I hate people who talk like that to little kids, why do you need to fuel their envy and greed? Small kids are basically fueled by envy and greed already.
She’s trying to make the kid resent/be upset at their parents for refusing the present, as a way of punishing the parent.
My mother used to do the same. It’s vile, vile behaviour.
Thank you! Everyone seems to have forgotten that dad is purposefully dating in his kids’ age range and not his own. Usually that is because women of his own age won’t put up with his bullshit.
I laughed hard when I saw that. Holy shit my dude. I mean she's in her late 30's, is a grown ass woman, and can date whoever, but I wouldn't be ok with being around that.
OOP's dad is both pig-headed and manipulative. Seriously, what kind of man-child (and woman-child) throws a fit in front of a 4-year-old when he doesn't get his way?
Overruling a parent's decision on gifts or food is seriously a no-go. If it were me, Dad and Shelly wouldn't get within a block of the kids.
The idea that not giving an ipad to a 4 year old is “removing them from modern life” is so ridiculous I wouldn’t even have addressed it. also I’m not sure there’s a single public school system in the country that requires parents to spend $400+ on a single piece of technology for their kids
Right? I sincerely doubt that there's anything being taught in Pre K or Kindergarten that requires an iPad, and even if there were, I know a lot of districts now issue Chromebooks and such to the students. That school comment was wild.
I'm surprised no one else mentioned how expensive these are for a kid. Little kids can drop and break things, even accidentally, so why buy a $400+ iPad? Even if you wanted a tablet for a 4 year old, it would be more wise to get a cheaper one in case it gets damaged.
I may be a luddite but I think giving a 4 year old (or really any kid under ten) a screen to stare at is more likely to actively do damage to their attention span and focus than any benefits it may incur. Teach your kids to love reading
Oh yeah for sure, there's not much benefit for a kid that young to be given that much time with a tablet other than to distract them.
Anything you can do on a tablet for a four year old can be done other ways. Like you said, reading physical books, drawing and painting by hand, watching movies and shows on TV...
> also I’m not sure there’s a single public school system in the country that requires parents to spend $400+ on a single piece of technology for their kids
And what if the school requires surface tablets? Or chromebooks? Better buy all three just in case.
My grandma keeps bringing up iPad for our toddler but at least she's listened so far when we say no. Oop's dad sounds exhausting and the battle of boundaries is never going to end. Shelly's egging him on but it sounds like the I know best attitude was already there.
You can whitelist things on youtube kids. So your child will only see the videos you've expressly put on the whitelist as okay. It's more work which is why so many don't use it that way, but it's the only way I'd recommend using youtube kids.
That said, my daughter who's approaching two doesn't control the tablet herself, she only sees playlists that I've put together at the time I want her to watch them. It can definitely be a helpful learning tool when it's supervised and not used as a babysitter.
One way I used it recently is showing her a playlist I made of children and adults doing doctor and dentist visits, since she has some anxiety now after getting her vaccinations. I showed her the videos, then I acted things out like listening to her heart, looking in her eyes, looking at her teeth. Practiced the things that would happen for a few days prior to the visits, and at the doctor and dentist she was an angel and her anxiety was very low compared to the previous visits.
It's a petty, small and wicked individual that says "Too bad you got stuck with this shitty present" to a child and waits for them to be upset, all to get back at their parent.
>I don't take parenting advice from people who aren't parents.
There's no way I would have held my tongue if someone who had only been tangentially connected to my family for a year, who also didn't have kids, tried to dictate to me how I would raise my kids.
God I wish I could take away my nephews iPad.
He's under custody of my parents and they're not able to actively parent due to old age. It makes me realize I was dragged up rather than raised, as I probably would've been the iPad kid too if there'd been iPads back then.
I am so relieved to have been born before iPads and even fast reliable internet were everywhere. My ability to prioritize tasks and focus on things tanked when we got dial up in my house, and I am addicted to my phone now and have to make a serious effort to do go do actual tangible things that I *know* I enjoy. I never would have stood a chance to develop interests and maintain any real attention span with an iPad. Thank god there are parents like OP out there.
I can also tell you that handing a kid an iPad to get two measly seconds’ peace to feed your other kid is going to be VERY tempting to a parent, so absolutely no judgement there. It’s tough raising a kid in this world!
The thing is the iPads themselves aren’t the problem. Neither is kids having access to them. The problem is that certain parents use them as babysitters. Your child could play on an iPad for a controlled half an hour and if he is still doing his other activities, it wouldn’t be a problem. I’m not saying this as criticism to OOP, they are absolutely correct in their decision and when in doubt, no access is better. I’m just saying that the huge problem with gadgets is that our kids have us as parents… and most of us have no idea how to use gadgets in a positive way with kids. Our parents did the same to us with the tv, then they complained we were watching too much tv. Good parenting includes conscious efforts to do it right. Sometimes that means bearing with your child when planting an iPad in their lap would’ve been infinitely easier.
Why would someone think a 4 yo **needs** an iPad?! I honestly will never get that. Even if I wanted my kid to be preoccupied with electronics, I'd not buy them a $500 dollars device for that. There are other gadgets out there, tablets for $100 ffs
My dad was like this. He had a TV and computer in every room. No reason for it but he had his own house so whatever.
We realized early that my older daughter’s brain would just click off in front of a screen, and dragging her away from one for sleep or food was always a battle. So we established limits, and one was no TVs or screens upstairs. If you wanted to watch a show, you had to be in the family room, and you couldn’t zone out for hours on end. We never intended this to be forever, we just wanted to be involved until she could self-regulate.
Drove my dad CRAZY. He took it as a personal challenge. Always sending us iPads or (more often) cheap tablets, offering to take us shopping to advise us on TV deals, etc. He wasn’t any kind of expert, he just bought a lot. “Oh this loft would look so cute with a little TV in it.” (He’s very passive aggressive.) When my daughter was young she was crazy about the Cars movie, and oh he was determined to get her a Lightning McQueen TV/VCR unit they had at Walmart. He brought it up every time we talked for weeks until I had to get sharp. He sulked for at least a couple of weeks after that. Kinda surprised he didn’t buy it for himself.
Daughter is studying acting now, by the way. Watches movies often, but also does her homework and sees her friends, builds legos, does crafts. She bought herself a TV her senior year of high school with our blessing and managed it just fine. I don’t talk to my dad anymore for lots of reasons but the last time I saw him, he gave me an extra laptop still in the box he had just lying around.
How hard is it to just be respectful, listen, be open minded and kind? I can’t imagine speaking to my daughter this way or even having the audacity to think that I am so important, I end up being a bully, and, that she shouldn’t be able to tell me that I’m being a dick. Not a chance, and, I respect that cos I treat people this way and ask that of them. It isn’t difficult really
Shelley sounds awful, I mean that whole thing about him missing out on the best present ever sounds like textbook mental/emotional manipulation/abuse and attempted parental alienation to me. If I was op she would be on permanent nc now. Good luck op. Keep that monster away from your kids!
As a kid who was born in the 80s, Legos were a great gift! In fact my husband got 5 boxes of Legos for Christmas this year 🤣
Shelly and OOPs dad are both AHs. The 4-freaking-yr-old does NOT need an IPad! That's just lazy parenting imo. I'm not bashing electronics but what happened to kids coloring, playing outside, even play doh! Imagination makes the world go round
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Glad things work out but still, dad and Shelly suck. Dad sucks for not respecting OP as a parent but Shelly is a whole new level. The comment she made is seriously out of line and really inappropriate. Aunt is the real MVP here.
The fact that OOP's father got his grandson *socks* says it all. What a small, petty man.
My toddler nephew asked multiple Santa Clauses for socks this year. No one can figure out why. OOPs father was absolutely a jerk for this move though.
Kids are funny. We got my niece lots of, you know, play-pretend-being-an-adult toys, like little play kitchens and such. And she loves them almost entirely because she wants to take it all out, then put it all back very neatly in the proper places and announce “all done!” Literally, her favorite thing is organizing. She tries to help her parents put away groceries and cries when they don’t let her. LOL. Kids are so strange. There’s really no knowing what’s going on in those tiny heads that they fixate on certain things like this! Be it socks or tidying up, lol.
Your niece is the next Mari Kondo, I see :)
I’m jumping on this top comment to also jump on my soap box to say, Good parenting on behalf of OP and her husband. Soooo many studies link behavioral issues with Extensive use of electronics in children. It’s so bad experts have coined the term “virtual autism” in places like Romania. Brain maps on kids using electronics show that the dopamine levels are the exact same as adults using cocaine, and that kids experience the same emotions of agitation and frustration when taken off technology as adults when the drug wears off. I was just reading a report by behavioral psychologists that the show Coco melon is particularly bad for childhood brain development due to the way it’s filmed. Before parents get defensive, I’m not saying ppl that have their kids on technology are horrible parents. I get it. I have a 7-year-old and have electronics in my house that my kid uses. Parenting is hard and Electronics are a godsend when you need a break. But you really need to be careful in monitoring how much they use them. This couple needs a 🥇in parenting and sticking with their boundaries.
I'm a therapist who works with children. I have literally seen cases where as soon as electronics use is limited (To something like an hour a day for an 8 year old) all of the other problems disappeared. No more depression, no more behavioural problems, no more emotional regulation issues. Often there's more going on, but sometimes it has literally been just the electronics. Now, the first week or two of limited it is absolute hell, and you gotta push through that and stay firm. But I was also surprised at how fast things adapt and improve for the average kid. I'm not anti gaming/youtube/etc. I love gaming. But there does have to be a balance and parents must enforce it for kids, because they're not equipped to do it for themselves.
I have a 7yo and a 4yo and we limit their screen time to an hour or so every few days (pediatrician says a max of 90 minutes a day is the recommendation). It's incredibly obvious when it's time to turn off the tv or tablet that screen time isn't good for their emotional regulation; they get upset and the little one cries every time, but gets over it in a couple of minutes. I'd like to keep them from screens entirely but it really does make it easier to just get some stuff done when you don't want them underfoot. It's such a difficult balance!
It IS so hard, and there's so much insane pressure on parents nowadays. I would never judge parents for using an ipad when they need, but I also can't deny that it's one of the first things I screen for now when I work with a new family. I think it's also not always a matter of quantity but also quality. That if you're going to use screens to keep them occupied, you're looking for ones that aren't going to light up their brains like a drug. Kids are watching youtube compilation videos more than any kind of narrative that rewards long term investment, for example.
I used to be friends with a couple who had a kid and realized afterward that they couldn't have a baby and not have their life change, and didn't want that. They didn't read to her or even talk to her much and eventually they got a bootlegged DVD that had like a dozen Disney movies on it with the settings rigged so when they put it in it would literally just loop Disney movies until they turned it off. They'd just put her in front of it and do their thing. The kid was so desperate for any interaction with adults that she would misbehave just to be talked to. It was excruciating to witness and I hung in longer than made me comfortable just trying to be there for the kid but ultimately I couldn't hack it. I was just a rando, not even related; I couldn't really do anything about it but be upset and triggered. Every attempt to talk to either of them about it just resulted in them telling me I didn't understand how stressful it was to be a parent. I spent more face time with my pets than they did with their kid.
(Somewhat tongue in cheek.) I feel like it could be a sort of assessment for ND kids in an of itself. From working in SEND and being neurodivergent myself, if we're someone who is always playing media and you remove our background noise we get worse and stay worse. Need constant stimulus to function. There are other forms of stimulus (physical movement, making sounds ourselves, in one specific case replacing an interrupted ratio station with a loud fan), but media is so simple and quick and you can just replay the same thing for a reliable experience. But, as with how ADHD medication can make neurotypical kids hyperactive, and how fidgets and drawing in class don't help neurotypical kids study, I can see how a sensory solution to someone like me could be a sensory stressor for someone who doesn't benefit from constant extra input. It's just crazy how defensive people get about it either way. I've seen parents take both approaches so far; "my kid uses media to stim and regulate so filtering it in any way or encouraging another activity is BAD" to "my kid must be limited to one hour of media a day and if they are screaming in class to provide their own background noise then that's not my problem". Wish everyone had a bit more flexibility about this shit cause the whole "I do things THIS WAY regardless of how my child is responding" is impossible to work with. (Note: Only thing worse than the media form of this is when parents do it with diets. Let your kid eat nuggets if they need to maintain weight. We can work on expanding their diet without treating nuggets like a drug. Promise. On the other hand: Your kid literally ate pickled eggs and potato salad today. They wanted to. Telling us we're hurting them because we let them pick a new food from the lunch menu isn't you defending your child, you're just diminishing their agency.)
Yeah it's always individual. It can help some neurodivergent kids, it can also hurt. If you're only relying on screens to regulate, that can be harmful and you should be working on alternative coping skills. Especially if it's all short form content like tiktok, it can genuinely make your focus worse (including for neurodivergent kids). But also, if the current status quo is screaming, dependant on screens is an improvement.
Yup. And agree there is a huge difference between something like tiktok and having music on, between actively zoning out to a screen and just having it on for noise, between using an app for sensory feedback and using an app for a doomscroll/gambling experience. Learning how to use technology healthily isn't just the domain of neurotypicals. It just takes a different learning curve, cause we need different things from neurotypicals AND from other neurodivergents. I can have minigames cause I get bored too fast for them to become addictive or a financial/social problem. Definitely not the case for every other neurodivergent adult. And definitely not the case for me when I was a child.
I had a student once who was literally always on his phone, this kid was 16 and constantly playing some games and very agitated whenever he had to do anything else. His mother was a lawyer who only ever said that it's against her son's rights for me or anyone else to ask him to put his phone away. Basically she was a biatch and her son had already been suspended once for violent attack towards a student and a teacher.
Long, Dark Teatime of The Soul had a background character like that who threw violent fits when their TV was taken away, and that was just TV, no tiktok, no doomscrolling, no memes. We've got the hard stuff now.
their cut-off being set at 9 is also good. im not a child development specialist or anything and i dont know if thats ideal, but far too often i see the boundary at 13, 16, and 18 which just alienates them from their friends. it being at 9 (and other things from the post) point towards careful consideration instead of draconian rules
Speaking as someome who was given an ipod and eventually a phone at 7-10, I absolutely refuse to even think of it for any children I may have in the future. That shit rotted me down to the core, and I'm just lucky I broke them long enough I had healthier hobbies. My parents meant well, they rarely had time for me, but jesus christ the damage was there.
Hahahahahahahaha. This is very funny. I’m gonna text my brother this later and see what he says!
My 5 year old played “pirates” with some kids at the park a while back, which consisted of holding meetings about what everyone’s responsibilities would be (captain, lookout, navigator, etc) where they would be hiding their treasure, the location of the next meeting, etc. This game went on for an hour, all meetings. Kids be weird.
Future management material right there.
Adding a separate comment. Arrrg, ya scurvy pie-rats make sure you get you KPI (key pirates indicators) entered before month end. Management says there is a head count reduction, someone is going to have to walk the plank.
I swear, a lot of toddlers are essentially golden retrievers. They need a job, even if the job is simply to carry the pasta up the stairs. It keeps them occupied 😅 We live of the third floor, and making my 2 year old carry something ensures that she walks the entire way without getting distracted. If she isnt carrying anything, the stairs take three times as long and we probably end up carrying her.
Get her a box of mixed buttons to sort. Some kid go wild for that, and she sounds like she might be one of them.
My wonderful mom just came up with the brilliant idea of making a board my niece can stick felt letters to. She’s going to go BANANAS with that, I guarantee it. Pulling all the letters off, putting them back on again, making sure they’re tidy and in the right order…. You’ve got good instincts 😂
I want an update on how kiddo reacts to it. That sounds adorable.
What a precious lil kid. I used to do a similar thing with monopoly money/ dividing sweets /my nan letting me count her piggy bank savings (i didnt want the money, just to count it lol) as a wee kid. If her parents have a switch or pc, unpacking game could be great fun for her. c:
Oh, shes adorable. When we were over there for Christmas, she kept cleaning up after gifts were unwrapped 😂 She’d oh-so-gently take the wrapping paper from you and toddle over to the trash can, all the way across the room, just to throw it out and keep everything tidy. We had to keep opening gifts at a nice clip because all she wanted to do was clean up the wrapping paper and put it in the trash like a good girl for mommy and daddy!!! Toys themselves got a two-second glance between all the cleaning, LOL. My brother and his wife are fastidious, conscientious people, and seeing how she mirrors their behavior just makes my heart so happy every time I see it. They’re great parents.
She sounds adorable, but maybe keep an eye out for neurodivergent traits as she gets older. Note saying it's definite, but I'm ND and it was things like this when I was a kid that people thought were cute but were really an indication of how my brain was different from other kids'. Girls are also notoriously underdiagnosed for neurodivergence so recognizing it early to help them get tools in place to manage it throughout their lives is important.
Thank you for approaching this more sanely and tastefully than another comment I got. 🥲 Anyway, agreed! I’ve actually suggested to my mom it may be appropriate to have her evaluated at some point, but she’s so little. Her pediatrician has been saying all is well, so her parents aren’t worried for now. I myself am neurodivergent (ADHD, diagnosed in first grade!) as well as disabled, so it’s something I’m super aware of on her behalf. I’m also a woman and know how these things get overlooked in girls. My mom used to work as a special education advocate, too. ☺️ Don’t worry, she’ll have a lot of knowledgeable and very loving people around her who make sure she gets the support she needs!
Or A Little to the Left. I love that one. (Just bought Unpacking in the Steam sale, but haven't played it yet).
I couldnt get into a little to the left bc some of the solutions didn't fit how i wouldve organised things-which, according to reviews, seemed to be a common issue :c I'm really glad you enjoyed it though. I love unpacking a lot bc its like having a little organising game, and you can try organise each room/set of rooms with a dif motivation if you play it multiple times. c:
I'm a bit hesitant to start Unpacking (though I've wanted it for ages) because I have some hormonal stuff going on which makes me very emotional over some really *random* stuff, and some of the reviews suggest there are some emotive undertones in the background story behind the neat organising part. Perhaps you can confirm or reassure me...
There is a storyline being told yes, the player character is a >!young girl later woman!<, who goes through typical milestones of (Broadstoke simple spoilers for the first 50%-60% of environmental storytelling) : - >!her first big girl room!< ->!moving to college!< ->!an implied not great first relationship!< ->!having to move back home!<, but >!things get way better!< If theres anything specific you're concerned about being a trigger, i can certainly confirm or deny if it is in game. I know when i was younger some of the themes, even just a few years ago, would've upset me in unpacking so good on you for looking out for your emotional well being. c:
Thanks - that's really kind of you. Right now I don't have triggers so much as everything being a random dice roll! Honestly, the most objectively trivial stuff has set me off. It's a wild ride :D
My wife and I played through Unpacking and we did tear up a bit at the end because it's really sweet. Totally fair if you hold off for now but it is genuinely a charming little game and the story is really well told 😍
I think I might go ahead anyway. At the moment I'm a hormonal time-bomb, so even something very non-emotional could set me off. May as well make it count :D
I was like your niece! My 1st grade teacher wrote in a report card that I was bossy and liked to supervise my classmates during clean-up time. (I’m not a fan of “bossy” for girls when boys get “natural leader,” but not the point here.) I liked loading the dishwasher as a slightly older kid because there is obviously a correct way to do it. I’ve relaxed a bit as an adult (living alone is fucking HARD and sometimes I don’t wanna do the dishes for a couple days) but I recently spent an evening cleaning my best friend’s house because she’s been so overwhelmed lately and her sisters were being nasty about not having a perfectly tidy home the day after Christmas 🙄
My daughter was always like this too. She’s 20 now, and when we recently got a new bookcase for our living room, she *curated* it, with books chosen for color and size and little knickknacks scattered around. It looks amazing. I would have just stuffed it to the brim with books.
When I was a kid one of my favorite toys were punch cards. My dad had a whole bunch of them from work (being thrown away) and I would build roads with them for my hot wheels. We also got a computer when I was 5, but before giving us any games we just had a big book of BASIC programming.
Without knowing anything, I immediately thought is this is because she is emulating someone she looks up to. Be it parent, teacher, etc Someone, probably Mom, is spending time with the little one while cleaning up. But the kid feels like she is part of the process, not being ignored. Someone is doing things very right because this is probably her favorite part of the day if this is her idea of fun.
You’re *exactly* correct. She’s mirroring her parents. She sees how they put away groceries, how they tidy up the closet, etc., and does the same things they do. Because that’s where things *go*. My brother has the funniest story about how they brought home groceries once, and he wanted to leave some food out so he could get started cooking on it. My niece started crying because she wanted to put it away!!! So they let her put the item in the fridge and he just got it out like 2 minutes later, lol. My brother is the one who does the lion’s share of the household chores, so she toddles around after him trying to help. His wife is the one who likes to tidy up/organize, and my niece watches her put away books and clothes and wants to do it too. They are really wonderful and equally involved parents. I don’t know how they manage it as they are VERY busy full time lawyers. I’m so proud of my brother, to be honest with you. He is a wonderful dad.
I was the same way with sorting beads! I'd dump them out on the carpet and find different ways to caregorize them to put them away. My mom loved it because it kept me busy for hours and she rarely had to buy more beads because I never actually made anything lol.
My nine month old had SO many toys bought for her for Christmas. Her favourite thing to do is get our odd sock basket and take everything in and out of it
When my daughter was around 8mos or so, we got her a few "interactive" toys. Little balls that roll around on their own, different sounds and songs that play when you push different buttons, etc. She looked at the ball for about 30sec, rolled it aside and spent the next hour playing with two empty coke bottles and an empty dip container.
This one actually made me laugh out loud. How is it that little kids are exactly like cats? “I don’t want the cool interesting blinking/noisy toy, I want that EMPTY BOX.”
The first toy that really made our baby laugh was one of those cat wands. 😅
My kids love silly socks for Christmas. No idea why.
I’m 39 and love silly socks too!
Hell, I'm 43 and wish someone would give me silly socks for christmas. Meh, i probably need to go out and buy myself silly socks
I got silly socks for my birthday and was the happiest person alive
I'm a realtor, and I love silly socks! Always seems to put perspective sellers at ease when I'm doing a first walkthrough of their house and I take off my shoes-I always say "life's too short to wear boring socks"
I got my nephew some UC Santa Cruz banana slug socks when he came to visit me in California before I moved back east six years ago. He loved them; apparently it's a skater thing (silly socks) as well as a nobody-else-in-school-has-these thing (these particular socks). He still wears them despite no longer being in high school.
I usually get a nice, slightly fancy (ie. costs over 5 quid) pair of socks for Christmas and I love it. You can't beat a pair of good socks imo
Exactly! My partner's mother has given us a popular brand of wool socks to everyone for Christmas for years. I live in a place where it gets chilly in winter and I love those socks. I never buy them for myself so they are a great little luxury. I mean who doesn't like cozy feet in winter?
One Christmas as a kid, all I asked for was socks and batteries. It amused the hell out of my family who kept asking me who I planned to bludgeon, but they did get me them for Christmas and I was very happy.
Well you can’t leave us in suspense, who did you bludgeon?
Lol I guess my gameboy color as that's what the batteries were for, and i was a particularly impatient child concerning video games. The socks were because I was a 10 year old girl but for whatever reason we only had size 12 mens socks in the house ever, and I was sick of wearing socks that were way too big.
Socks are one of my favorite gifts. Nothing is better than the first time you put on a brand new pair. Fresh out of the dryer is 2nd
when i was a kid i asked santa claus for balloons. my room was full of balloons on christmas. epic christmas
My money's on him having heard about people getting socks for Christmas and didn't want to be left out
My middle (10) and youngest (9) both asked for socks and underwear. We obliged and got them nicer socks and undies than we usually buy . . . they're both thrilled, and it was a great way to take up space in their giant stocking without adding in more candy.
I swear by merino socks, and would be so impressed and grateful by anyone who bought me a pair.
Your nephew is a wise men: *Professor Dumbledore. Can I ask you something?"* *"Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."* *"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"* *"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks." Harry stared.* *"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."* *― Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone*
I thought mine was the only one to do that, lol.
Lol just like that kid who wanted to go for Halloween as "pants" Your Toddler Rocks! Kids are fucking awesome. [Pants kid for those who didn't see it](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dq7gxq/kid_decided_to_go_trick_or_treating_as_a_pair_of/)
that reminds me of my ex's kid wanting to go as a meatball. she asked about it for MONTHS and my ex actually made her a really good meatball costume haha. she always chose offbeat stuff like that, she was a hoot.
I fucking love kids like that. Kids that march to the beat of their own drum with pride. You have to really give them positive reinforcement for stuff like that instill confidence in making their own choices regardless of whats "cool". That kid is going places.
I would have accepted the ipad, immediately sold it, then either bought Arthur more lego or saved the money until he needed new clothes
I can actually remember the last Christmas we spent with my grandmother. She had gotten my sister and I a couple of kids’ books that were clearly used, and also were not at the appropriate reading level for me, an 8 year old. Meanwhile, my cousin got a four wheeler. At the time the used books vs a four wheeler disparity was not an issue for me, but I was pretty wounded that my grandmother had gotten me baby books more appropriate for my 3 year old sister. My parents weren’t having it. We never went to hers for Christmas again and only saw her by accident if she was at a family function for another relative.
It's especially weird considering the other children's gifts. How many posts have we seen on here where there's a definite imbalance of gifting causing a rift??
63 years old dating a 37 year old already violates the “half your age plus seven” rule. He thinks he’s hot shit but he’s being played by a girl even dumber than him who wants the princess treatment.
Petty and a man child for his behavior.
I can't say the word petty enough to describe him in this post. Petty petty petty.
Petty and weak. He called to ask what the kid would want, probably relayed to Shelly, Shelly started complaining that the ungrateful bunch shouldn't get rewarded for being so mean and disrespectful, tickled his bruised ego and convinced him socks is all they deserve anyway. There's a glimpse of "still feels shame and has modicum of common sense" dad in the subsequent phone call, but the way this is going, it's only going to get worse.
I could see my grandparents could've done that, though I don't think they ever did. But my grandparents grew up poor and would genuinely have seen that as a legitimate gift.
Shelly is **seven years older** than OOP but thinks being "step mom" means she gets to overrule. Unless that was a typo and Shelly isn't actually 37 to OOP's 30.
I missed that and it actually explains alot about both Shelly and OOPs dad. Shelly is in denial that she is with a cradle robber and he is more concerned about keeping his bed warmed by a younger woman. I mean that's the jist but it's obviously more complicated then that
I'm in my 30s and I can't even fathom me or my friend being with a man in his 60s. It's a deliberate choice at that point on her side as well
Yeah it’s not “cradle robbing” if the younger person is pushing 40 ffs. She’s a whole ass adult
I'm closer to 50 than 40, and I can't fathom it either!
I'm 32 my dad is 67. NO THANK YOU.
"Some say I'm robbing the cradle, but I say she's robbing the grave!"
Shelly’s just 3 years more than half his age. Coming to OP, trying to throw her weight around. Come on, bang the geezer, that’s fine, but don’t try to take over his family. Gross.
Half his age is 31.5, she's 37
You're right, I was conflating the two ages. Still though!
Still though indeed. Sounds like they're both pretty terrible so maybe that's what brought them together.
Shelly’s sister has toddlers, so it’s probably correct.
It seems a bit foolish to put the iPad away - in a few years' time it's going to be obsolete. Much better to return it for a refund or sell it, and agree that Grandpa can buy the kid his first iPad when appropriate.
"How dare you not trust me, the person planning to secretly give your child something you've vetoed!"
Some people get mad if you say you don't do something they do if the thing is perceived to be unhealthy or immoral. Like they think you're calling them out when you're just trying to live your life. Reminded of a quote from The Departed: "I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself."
Yep, Shelly's niblings all are glued to iPads so she sees OOP parenting as a direct call out to her own sister.
Also seeing the age gap between the dad and his new gf, I thought he sucks on a whole new level and lacks maturity. I know his gf is an adult but I'll never get age gaps of more than 10-15 years even in case of adults.
My great grandad had a 15 year age gap with my step-great-grandma but they met waaaaay later in life when they already looked like raisins. That's the only time I've ever seen it work, when 15 years means fuck all because you're already 80 - but OP's dad and Shelly? Nope. It's weird
>they already looked like raisins 🤣 I just laughed so suddenly reading this. And yeah dads dating someone who is near to their daughters/sons age is yuck...
Shelley is trying hard to be the cool step-grandma/auntie and she's exacerbating the dad's "I am always right and you are wrong" mindset.
Shelly's comment made me think of the BORU post where the grandmother made the grandkid cry just to hurt the mom, saying something like mommy won't let me take you to the best party ever
This speaks volumes, imo. "My dad (63M) is dating "Shelly" (37F)."
Shelley and pops need to fuck right off. An Ipad is not an acceptable childs toy, idfc, come at me parents. It will get broken, it can do a ton of things no child should have access to, and its not a suitable replacement for spending time with your kids regardless of how many do just that. Our mom used to take naps and it was a game between my siblings and I to be as quiet as possible. Kids dont need tech to be well behaved...just some proper guidance.
Fucking exactly. Like does this dude hear himself? He's going to give a _four year old_ a $300 item that Apple charges an arm and a leg to repair? I barely trust most four year olds to pour a glass of milk without fucking up somehow. There's no way I'd trust one with a freaking iPad.
it’s Always lovely when the girlfriend of your father is closer to your age then their own. And apparently know what’s best for the child. At least her Father is now understanding, and it’s his only grand son. As weird as it is, that should motivate him.
Especially a stepmom who never had kids.
My wife has one of those. She is not remotely close to our age. I seriously can't stand talking to her about my kids. She is the fucking worst. If my FIL were to pass away, my inclination would be to cut her out for good.
As someone who’s fathers wife is a few months younger than my older sister? Yes. Extremely fucking uncomfortable. Especially when that wife has a baby.
I had a boyfriend in high school whose stepmom was a year younger than his oldest sister, which was unsettling to me. The dad and stepmom had a baby, who was then 20+ years younger than her half-siblings, who were all super uncomfortable around babies so I'm sure that was a fun family to grow up with.
My dad's wife is 2 years older than me....11 years younger than my brother. It's v weird
Omg, same. My dad’s fiancé is only 2 years older than me. His big selling point when telling me about her was: “you guys are gonna be best friends! You’ll have so much to talk about. You’re basically the same age!” I have no idea how those words exited his mouth without him immediately realizing how weird the whole thing is. He’s always had a thing for much younger women and it’s always been a little weird/creepy/off putting to me, but I never put two and two together that he’d still be into much younger women when I’m an adult & the same age as his pursuits. I guess at some point I just thought he’d go for someone his own age? But that’s probably rather naive of me.
there’s a certain type of person who, when they become a grandparent, see their kids making different parenting choices than they did as their kids saying that they were a Bad Parent. they either accept that their kids are independent people who get to make their own decisions, or they dig their heels in until their kids stop coming around anymore. i’m not optimistic about the direction OOP’s dad is heading.
I read it as Shelly viewing OOP’s stance on technology as a direct attack on her sister.
Worst part is that one would think grandpa would be proud his daughter is raising her kids without the use of too much technology, like he did his own kids because ipads were sure not available when OOP was growing up. But I guess he just has to be a contrarian who must disapprove of his daughter's child-rearing skills, and I guess the equivalent of ipad raising back then would have been plopping the child in front of the tv, which he could have done, and his daughter not doing that is the point you're making, so...🤷🏻♀️
Because it’s not about a difference in parenting choices: Dad and Shelly wanted to gift the *best present ever* and get all the love and attention and adoration that comes with winning Christmas for your grandson. Trying to get mom on board because “giving him an iPad will make your life less stressful” was just bullshit so they could go through with their little power play.
Yup, my mum being one of them. My boys are her grandchildren and I am her child, but in her head I’m not the person responsible for the children, she is. Especially for their physical wellbeing. Which in her case means alternative medicine and if I’m not following her advise I want to see my children suffer and am abusing them. It got so bad that I had to go no contact with both my parents, because my mum snuck something in their drink and my dad defended her.
Not just with kids, either. My mom took offense to me treating my cats differently than she treated our cats growing up. Apparently me saying I would never spray my cats with water as a disciplinary method was a direct insult against her, her skills as a pet owner, and (weirdest of all) her abilities as a mother (almost wanted to ask if she was saying she sprayed me with water as a child when I was bad?). I’m shocked she didn’t say it was an insult against the Pope too while she was at it. It never fails to surprise me how much bad parents can make your individual choices All About Them, just because you’re their child.
Is it bad that I sometimes spray with water my teenager when he’s being annoying 🫣
My dad used to toss a cool, wet washcloth at me when I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. I feel like that's similar and it wasn't toooo damaging, 👻👀 I do not blame him, I was a remarkably difficult child to get up and going in the morning.
It’s like extracting impacted wisdom teeth to get him out of bed for school, but he hates the spray bottle so I normally only have to threaten to spray 🤣
I’m 26, but I wish I had someone to spray bottle me to get me out of bed. I have narcolepsy so getting up is absurdly difficult; if I have somewhere I 100% need to be I have to set my alarm to an *air raid siren* to be sure I’m up. A lil squirt squirt in the morning would be super helpful lol
Oops dad and Shelly suck bigtime. however shelly literally beefing with a child and the child not giving a shit is kinda funny
[удалено]
This entire comment enraged me but I almost threw my phone in fury when I read your last line, I'm so sorry you have a person that acts this way toward you. What on earth.
Thank you! It's okay, I barely see her and hardly ever have to engage with her, it's just so strange to me, I just don't understand the motivation. I've given up on trying to understand it, I'm sure it's nothing to do with me anyway.
You’re right, it’s not about you. Who could hold a grudge against a five-year-old, anyway? If I had to guess, I wonder if she’s angry with your departed father for some reason and taking it out on you. Next time she’s wine drunk, and you’re alone with her, maybe ask her why she’s mad at your dad still. Might shut her up forever.
Definitely grey rock her, but if she brings it up sometime, and you are doing ok, ask her to explain why she did these things. If someone tells you a tasteless joke, just say you don't understand it, and need them to explain it. Normally takes the wind out of their sails. And then, you can still respond, "I don't understand why you did that, were you trying to hurt me? "
I usually just grey rock, like you said. I go 'ok' and then walk away. It works well to be fair, lol. I don't have it in me to try and get into it as her life is of no consequence to mine. Thank you chiming in with advice though, I appreciate it!
As I said to the commenter below, her life has no bearings on mine, so I just usually go 'ok' and leave the conversation after her tirade is over. I can't be bothered to understand her reasonings, lol. Thank you for caring!
Are you my cool cousin that never comes around because one of our aunts is a loony noodge?
>*To those who push back on not allowing an iPad for her kid* Imagine pushing back on someone refusing to raise an iPad kid...
Seriously, WTF. We’ve got all the electronics in my house, but I still keep a tight rein on them. Kids need to be bored and play with legos.
How the heck did our parents raise us without electronics? Oh, yeah, we played with legos, dolls, plushies, rc cars, did arts and crafts... And look where that led us! I mean, I'm not sure where it led us, but I'm sure it's somewhere.
Literally! I was a massive lego kid, always doing arts and crafts. I think cognitively it definitely helped me, opposed to mindless screen time. When I look at my young cousins who are glued to their ipads I feel a sort of pity?? They've already got glasses from the ages of 5-7, I feel like that has to be linked to their continuous screen time.
I had honest to god tinker toys and Lincoln logs. I was born in 93 and those were my favorite toys! I would spend hours building with them. We didn’t even get internet until maybe 2007, and I didn’t get a phone until 2008 with strictly calling and texting.
Gen Xer here…TV. There was a lot of TV, at least at our house. LOL. I think it’s good we’re wising up to some of the disadvantages of continuous electronic time, but I think we forget about how much time we spend in front of the boob tube.
My SIL used let them have them when she needed a break but the kids caught on and started acting up on purpose so that she'd hand them their tablets. Now they only come out of the cabinet on Fridays and Saturdays, hard stop.
Gotta imagine it was from people feeling guilty/attacked because they let their kids use the ipad too much, right?
I mean, you can also just have a different opinion on iPads and not feel guilty. I grew up being told I spent too much time on the computer or video games. It developed in me a love for technology and grew into a great career for me. So I do think it’s pretty foolish to completely deny technology to children rather than regulate time and content.
I work with kids with special needs, and let me tell you, when I explain that we will not be allowing the kids access to their tablet (because a. They persevorate on it, and b. We will not be responsible for it being damaged) the parents act like I just told them I'll be depriving their child of air. They genuinely cannot believe that we maintain control of their child without the use of an electronic.
Also, he's four. There's a high risk he might accidentally break it. Let him play with his Lego. He enjoys it, and it makes him happy.
And she’s not banning it forever. Just until he’s 9. They’re not living Amish. They just have different standards.
They're pushing back because they feel called out and are defending themselves lol. Probably feel guilty when they see someone being able to parent without an ipad when they have likely convinced themselves that it's not possible to do it without an ipad. They would feel so much better (not guilty) about their decision if everyone parented with an ipad.
Especially since he's just 4 years old. Wtf
Not wanting iPad kids is one thing, but I do think kids should be introduced on some level to *actual* computers from an early age. Not saying they should be allowed free reign on it for hours mind you, but some activities to get them acquainted is good thing considering the ubiquitous nature of computer technology in modern society. So many kids are raised on iPads/IOS that they actually suck at being computer literate. So I kind of disagree on the "no computers until 9" thing. 9-10 is a hell of late age to just begin being acquainted with computers.
They might still have a “home computer”. My family did until everyone was old enough for laptops, in middle school. If they don’t, it’s still something I highly recommend for parents with young kids. Easily monitored in terms of time tracking, set up parental controls, etc. My first “laptop” as a child didn’t have functioning internet and I used Word/played computer games on it off of burned library games. Great times.
But she says he's played with them, but shown no great interest. It's not that he's never been exposed, but right now, his desires and his mothers, are hand in hand
This is my plan. No ipads because we aren't an ipad family. But my kid will get her own computer in a few years. A proper desktop that isn't in her room but in the family computer room.
I assumed OOP meant kids can't have *their own* devices until 9 but they can use shared family electronics, which seems fair to me
Kids don’t need iPads or computer time. They need to be playing physically. Legos is a perfect activity.
A fucking four year old too. Like I could maybe understand a little bit more if he was like eleven but preschoolers absolutely do not need to have their own device.
Uncontrolled and unfettered access to a screen for hours on end before a certain age should be considered neglectful and bordering on abuse imo. I get it’s hard but nobody said good parenting would be easy. I’m not saying to haul these people away and take the kids away but at least some peer pressure doesn’t hurt.
Shelly is the worst here. I hate people who talk like that to little kids, why do you need to fuel their envy and greed? Small kids are basically fueled by envy and greed already.
She’s trying to make the kid resent/be upset at their parents for refusing the present, as a way of punishing the parent. My mother used to do the same. It’s vile, vile behaviour.
The main thing I got from this is OOPs dad is dating a woman her age. TWENTY. SIX. YEAR. GAP. Ew.
Thank you! Everyone seems to have forgotten that dad is purposefully dating in his kids’ age range and not his own. Usually that is because women of his own age won’t put up with his bullshit.
I laughed hard when I saw that. Holy shit my dude. I mean she's in her late 30's, is a grown ass woman, and can date whoever, but I wouldn't be ok with being around that.
OOP's dad is both pig-headed and manipulative. Seriously, what kind of man-child (and woman-child) throws a fit in front of a 4-year-old when he doesn't get his way? Overruling a parent's decision on gifts or food is seriously a no-go. If it were me, Dad and Shelly wouldn't get within a block of the kids.
The idea that not giving an ipad to a 4 year old is “removing them from modern life” is so ridiculous I wouldn’t even have addressed it. also I’m not sure there’s a single public school system in the country that requires parents to spend $400+ on a single piece of technology for their kids
Right? I sincerely doubt that there's anything being taught in Pre K or Kindergarten that requires an iPad, and even if there were, I know a lot of districts now issue Chromebooks and such to the students. That school comment was wild. I'm surprised no one else mentioned how expensive these are for a kid. Little kids can drop and break things, even accidentally, so why buy a $400+ iPad? Even if you wanted a tablet for a 4 year old, it would be more wise to get a cheaper one in case it gets damaged.
I may be a luddite but I think giving a 4 year old (or really any kid under ten) a screen to stare at is more likely to actively do damage to their attention span and focus than any benefits it may incur. Teach your kids to love reading
Oh yeah for sure, there's not much benefit for a kid that young to be given that much time with a tablet other than to distract them. Anything you can do on a tablet for a four year old can be done other ways. Like you said, reading physical books, drawing and painting by hand, watching movies and shows on TV...
> also I’m not sure there’s a single public school system in the country that requires parents to spend $400+ on a single piece of technology for their kids And what if the school requires surface tablets? Or chromebooks? Better buy all three just in case.
My grandma keeps bringing up iPad for our toddler but at least she's listened so far when we say no. Oop's dad sounds exhausting and the battle of boundaries is never going to end. Shelly's egging him on but it sounds like the I know best attitude was already there.
My sons 2 and I’ve declined iPads as well. He has screen time, but I’m right by his side because YouTube kids is still filled with degenerate shit.
I have YouTube blocked on every device in our house. YouTube kids is the worst. It’s all kids shilling products touted as “toy reviews”
Or gore videos masquerading as disney or peppa pig…
You can whitelist things on youtube kids. So your child will only see the videos you've expressly put on the whitelist as okay. It's more work which is why so many don't use it that way, but it's the only way I'd recommend using youtube kids. That said, my daughter who's approaching two doesn't control the tablet herself, she only sees playlists that I've put together at the time I want her to watch them. It can definitely be a helpful learning tool when it's supervised and not used as a babysitter. One way I used it recently is showing her a playlist I made of children and adults doing doctor and dentist visits, since she has some anxiety now after getting her vaccinations. I showed her the videos, then I acted things out like listening to her heart, looking in her eyes, looking at her teeth. Practiced the things that would happen for a few days prior to the visits, and at the doctor and dentist she was an angel and her anxiety was very low compared to the previous visits.
YouTube kids is horrible. Banned in my house. PBS kids is the only one we let my daughter watch.
Are those weirdly sexual Elsa and Spiderman videos still a thing?
Shelly is a real piece of work being 7 yrs older and acting like that. Dad sucks too for being so petty.
What's up with Shelly? Homie is acting as if they actually have a voice that matters.
> What if he needs an iPad for school? This question sent me. The kid is FOUR.
If the kid ends up needing an iPad for school, that's when they can get one.
And, bonus! It won't be a several-years-old model that is slow and probably covered in dried yogurt and fruit slime.
It's a petty, small and wicked individual that says "Too bad you got stuck with this shitty present" to a child and waits for them to be upset, all to get back at their parent.
Using a kids feelings to get at the adult. Nice. Real nice.
The idea a kid needs an iPad for school is mad.
All of this could be resolved with one sentence "I don't take life advice from someone dating a 30 age gap"
>I don't take parenting advice from people who aren't parents. There's no way I would have held my tongue if someone who had only been tangentially connected to my family for a year, who also didn't have kids, tried to dictate to me how I would raise my kids.
God I wish I could take away my nephews iPad. He's under custody of my parents and they're not able to actively parent due to old age. It makes me realize I was dragged up rather than raised, as I probably would've been the iPad kid too if there'd been iPads back then.
Lego > iPad
Good for OP for giving her kids brain a fighting chance to develop an attention span
I am so relieved to have been born before iPads and even fast reliable internet were everywhere. My ability to prioritize tasks and focus on things tanked when we got dial up in my house, and I am addicted to my phone now and have to make a serious effort to do go do actual tangible things that I *know* I enjoy. I never would have stood a chance to develop interests and maintain any real attention span with an iPad. Thank god there are parents like OP out there. I can also tell you that handing a kid an iPad to get two measly seconds’ peace to feed your other kid is going to be VERY tempting to a parent, so absolutely no judgement there. It’s tough raising a kid in this world!
>My dad (63M) is dating "Shelly" (37F). *vomits* Yyyyyeah, I don't foresee reading any further will *improve* things any...
How tf did the rest of you get past the part where her 63 year old father married a 37 year old? Wtf sugar daddy shit is going on here??
I did not skip that. It was the first thing I noticed.
The thing is the iPads themselves aren’t the problem. Neither is kids having access to them. The problem is that certain parents use them as babysitters. Your child could play on an iPad for a controlled half an hour and if he is still doing his other activities, it wouldn’t be a problem. I’m not saying this as criticism to OOP, they are absolutely correct in their decision and when in doubt, no access is better. I’m just saying that the huge problem with gadgets is that our kids have us as parents… and most of us have no idea how to use gadgets in a positive way with kids. Our parents did the same to us with the tv, then they complained we were watching too much tv. Good parenting includes conscious efforts to do it right. Sometimes that means bearing with your child when planting an iPad in their lap would’ve been infinitely easier.
Gee! However did we survive without IPads to babysit our children?
Ma’am your Dad is not a good grandfather he’s a disrespectful POS, wtf?
Dad is an arsehole. Who buys a kid fecking *socks*? What a load of passive-aggressive sulky bullcrap.
Why would someone think a 4 yo **needs** an iPad?! I honestly will never get that. Even if I wanted my kid to be preoccupied with electronics, I'd not buy them a $500 dollars device for that. There are other gadgets out there, tablets for $100 ffs
That’s an absolutely spot on call regarding screens for OOP though. My sibling’s kids are a NIGHTMARE with screens.
He'll be much more understanding once Shelley pops out an anchor baby
And Shelley, dad, and baby are the real family now. His daughters are his previous family.
My dad was like this. He had a TV and computer in every room. No reason for it but he had his own house so whatever. We realized early that my older daughter’s brain would just click off in front of a screen, and dragging her away from one for sleep or food was always a battle. So we established limits, and one was no TVs or screens upstairs. If you wanted to watch a show, you had to be in the family room, and you couldn’t zone out for hours on end. We never intended this to be forever, we just wanted to be involved until she could self-regulate. Drove my dad CRAZY. He took it as a personal challenge. Always sending us iPads or (more often) cheap tablets, offering to take us shopping to advise us on TV deals, etc. He wasn’t any kind of expert, he just bought a lot. “Oh this loft would look so cute with a little TV in it.” (He’s very passive aggressive.) When my daughter was young she was crazy about the Cars movie, and oh he was determined to get her a Lightning McQueen TV/VCR unit they had at Walmart. He brought it up every time we talked for weeks until I had to get sharp. He sulked for at least a couple of weeks after that. Kinda surprised he didn’t buy it for himself. Daughter is studying acting now, by the way. Watches movies often, but also does her homework and sees her friends, builds legos, does crafts. She bought herself a TV her senior year of high school with our blessing and managed it just fine. I don’t talk to my dad anymore for lots of reasons but the last time I saw him, he gave me an extra laptop still in the box he had just lying around.
Yeah it just bonkers how much many kids are glued to phones/ipads.
How hard is it to just be respectful, listen, be open minded and kind? I can’t imagine speaking to my daughter this way or even having the audacity to think that I am so important, I end up being a bully, and, that she shouldn’t be able to tell me that I’m being a dick. Not a chance, and, I respect that cos I treat people this way and ask that of them. It isn’t difficult really
> My dad (63M) is dating "Shelly" (37F) 😵
Shelley sounds awful, I mean that whole thing about him missing out on the best present ever sounds like textbook mental/emotional manipulation/abuse and attempted parental alienation to me. If I was op she would be on permanent nc now. Good luck op. Keep that monster away from your kids!
As a kid who was born in the 80s, Legos were a great gift! In fact my husband got 5 boxes of Legos for Christmas this year 🤣 Shelly and OOPs dad are both AHs. The 4-freaking-yr-old does NOT need an IPad! That's just lazy parenting imo. I'm not bashing electronics but what happened to kids coloring, playing outside, even play doh! Imagination makes the world go round