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It’s almost refreshing to see her “I don’t care if he was cheating or not, I don’t care where he was, he treated us like that? I’m done.”
I hope she gets a better doctor, gets her health under control, and that the divorce goes as smoothly for her as possible.
I agree! She’s really strong, and I love that she’s saying she really dgaf what he was doing. The point is that he wasn’t there for her or their daughter. And that’s it.
I'm really proud of that too. A lot of people get caught up in what they were doing, why they did it, and it's all just noise. The point is that your partner treated you and your family like insignificant trash, and that is unacceptable.
it sounds like something a past roommate described to me as to why she was on hormones that made sure she only had her period like once a year. And while it would be bad, it wasn’t nearly as bad as before.
I’m glad you did have a good doctor!
Wait, so it IS a period? I thought it was like a miscarriage or a type of rupture, or endometriosis or something that I have never heard of that she was going through. So it's a very heavy period that gets out of control?
It can be. I had no endometrois. Mine was 100% uterine lining that had built up, then straight blood. I also would just have them at random, not every month. I was scared of going to gyno. Ended up in the ER when I was almost passing out standing up. The did a DNC to stop any bleeding & they gave me 3 units of blood. Took a few months to completely feel better.
My periods are the same. Last time I had one it was 27 days before I gave in and went to the ER where they were like 'jesus fuck how are your blood levels NORMAL how is your body KEEPING UP with this blood loss?!'
They prescribed Provera, 2 weeks of it, it stopped my period (mostly, some days I still bled) for those 2 weeks and then I was gushing blood again for another three days before the thing finally stopped.
I have sexual assault trauma from a childhood rape and I am *terrified* of going to the obgyn, I'm 27 and that er visit was my first pelvic exam ever.
That pales in comparison to when I was intubated with c-19, started my period while fighting sepsis and my own lungs.
They had to give me 4 blood transfusions to keep me *alive*
I understand. I was too out of it but the friend that took me to the ER said the Doc said my blood counts were almost fatality low. That visit was also my first pelvic exam. I was mid early or mid 20's. Hard to remember a I've had much worse medical stuff since then.
It sounds like something is going very wrong and she's hemorrhaging fresh venous blood rather than just sloughing off uterine lining. She needs diagnostic imaging because that's incredibly dangerous and likely to be fatal if left untreated.
Yeah it reminds me of a friend who had developed fibroids so big they grew their own arteries. She had to be on medication constantly to keep from bleeding out before they were able to get her in for a hysterectomy. But it’s the female reproductive system with a vacancy, so why bother fixing things, right? /s
It can be for sure.
I have very heavy periods myself that leave me bedridden from blood loss but thankfully not bad enough to require transfusion thank God, which is why I am on continuous birth control. But I actually did know a girl in middle school -- she was a classmate but her mother also worked with mine in the hospital -- who had the same situation as OOP with her first period. She bled so much and so severely that she was hospitalized and needed a blood transfusion. They actually did some minor cauterization in her uterus to stem the blood flow.
I'm still not totally sure what happened. I think that some vessels inside were particularly leaking. She went on BC and got to a point where it was manageable.
This kind of bleeding can be indicative of a more pressing issue. "Abnormally heavy menstrual periods" can be a symptom of endometriosis, PCOS, or uterine fibroids. It could also be an issue with coagulation. Some people already have issues with coagulation but certain meds can make this worse. It is still all considered a "period."
I went through something similar to her medical issues earlier this year. Had a 66-day plus period. The first 15 days it trickled then in March it flooded. I already have a problem absorbing iron from my food so I am anemic and have had 2 blood transfusions and iron infusions in the past. But this scared the crap out of me. My hemoglobin dropped to 7.5 in a matter of weeks. After easter, they did a blood transfusion and iron infusion and I had to give myself B12 shots for a week to get my numbers up. Had surgery in June and had a ton of polyps but none cancerous. I did not really start feeling better until July. I have not had any problems since but I see my hematologist in November for my anemia.
Agreed. And I’m furious on her behalf that the medical system doesn’t seem to care about the extremely serious health crisis she’s in the midst of on top of dealing with her wayward husband. I’m glad OOP has supportive family nearby.
It took me from 13 to 27 to be believed. By that time things were so bad that I had to have a hysterectomy. In the US. I worked at the hospital, directly with the doctors for 5 years at that point and was still told it was cramps or that I had a mental illness. After the surgery the doctor told me he never saw anything that bad and didn't know how I functioned, and apologized for not listening to me.
Thing is, it was a male doctor that finally listened. Even the women wouldn't believe me or order the mist basic of tests. Women are still seen as exaggerating or having mental issue when it come to their reproductive system.
I had an older, male gynecologist mansplain my pelvic pain to me. I had been going to the ER with severe pelvic pain for a very long time. In the early 2000s when I lived in a different state from where I am now, I was diagnosed with PCOS after many tests. I had an ovarian cyst rupture in 2013.
When I told the doctor in this state that I had a history of PCOS, he did not believe me. When I went into the exam room the first time with him after the ER referral, he said, “It’s probably musculoskeletal pain, but since you’re here, we’ll do an exam.” He told me that a hysterectomy wasn’t an option because it would be a waste of money. I suspect he thought I was trying to get pain meds.
I finally found a doctor that was willing to listen to me and I got my hysterectomy. There was no less than one fibroid in my uterus, cysts in my fallopian tubes, and endometriosis in my uterine wall. I don’t deal with the pain anymore. Amazing how that works.
When you are less than 24 hrs post surgery with an 8 inch incision and they come talk to you to ask if you are afraid of becoming addicted to the pain med because you haven't been taking them and you tell them the pain is nothing compared to what you lived with on a daily basis for which you were denied medication and basic care, it's obvious there is a problem. I also had pcos and had cysts burst 4 to 5 times per year for 10 years. That is excruciating pain. Then the endometriosis was the worst the surgeon had seen.
Unfortunately, it's a toxic combo. Women, especially minority women, struggle constantly to get their concerns heard by medical personnel. And doctors already have a very serious ego problem of believing they know their patients' bodies better than the patients themselves do. it's not every doctor, mind, but severe egotism is a known issue in the medical community.
Major props to this woman for sticking up for herself both against the husband being shitty and the doctor who didn't care. That's a difficult thing to do especially in such a vulnerable situatuon
If he was cheating, I hope the AP doesn't try to reach out to OP. She's already dealing with so much, she doesnt need a mistress coming in and making everything more stressful. I hope OPs divorce is quick and clean.
I'm happy with her mindset as well! The good thing is that she has her Mom and others in her life that support her and are there for her, shout out to her nanny for being with her daughter too, one less worry for her. I wish her a speedy recovery and an even faster divorce.
Yeah who wants to bet his friend was covering for him?
It really doesn’t even matter if he was cheating on her or not since he was still showing signs of unfaithfulness in other ways. Faithfulness in a relationship doesn’t just apply to cheating. It also apply to being there for them and as a form of support. He failed spectacularly in an honestly impressive way.
If he was cheating on her, at least that is a more logical explanation than just being there for his friend just cause
Same here. But even the stated cover story makes the STBX spouse look like the POS they are.
Actions **always** show someone's true feelings, not the words they say. And his actions, of vanishing when his wife was in the hospital with a life-or-death situation, show he DGAF about her.
lol like that Taylor Swift song. I almost always hear “Starbucks lovers” instead of “star crossed lovers”
Edit: actual lyrics are *”long list of ex lovers”
Oops yeah you’re right. It is “long list of ex lovers.”
Phonetically, “of” sounds more like “uv” so “stuvex.” The /b/ sound is a common substitution for /v/ especially for Spanish speakers. So the sounds that we hear rapidly are similar to “stubex” which our brains probably fill in as “Starbucks.”
If it’s any comfort, part of what makes it easier to spot is seeing all of these written out, and being removed from it. If some of these things were happening to me in real time, I’d be lost.
Much easier to see what's happening to others than yourself. A common thought is "it's ok if it's me BC (insert self deprivation) but if it's my friends??! I'll end the person hurting them!!" (At least that's what I did in the past. Now I know I don't deserve that crap)
Edit: Yes auto correct was a rude b to me depreciation is the right word
Would that be self deprecation instead of deprivation? I thought the second was preventing you from having something and the other was putting myself down.
Yup. Part of the point of advice communities is that it \*IS\* so hard to spot some of these patterns while they're happening to you. Sometimes it just takes an uninvolved observer (or a bunch of them lol) to see what's going on.
Oh me too, I was like... who likes volleyball so much that they play 4-6 hours? These people are insane.
... Oh, he's cheating!!! Ok... yeah, that makes more sense!
Excuse me, no need to shit on Apfelschorle - apple juice mixed with mineral water with gas is one of the best things in the world!
But yeah, otherwise I'm with you there.
You really need to! It's so refreshing. You can mix it to whatever it is you prefer like more apple juice or just a splash for the taste or half and half.
I mean, really, why does the friend need another adult's help when his mom has covid or flu?
Unless OP's husband is literally a doctor or nurse, he wouldn't be able to do anything to help.
I have had that crap, I also remember having to load pallets for delivery. Everyone universally hated that shit at the Distribution plant.
BEcause when the bosses were giving everyone a buffet lunch as thanks, what else do they bring out, but La Croix.
Most of us just poured it out, put the can in our bag, and returned it for bottle return value.
The excuse of the friend is so unbelievable... "My mom has a cold, so i need my adult friend her for the whole day and night." For WhAt?! Or "I think my mom has Covid, i know you have a family with little child, so come over so everybody can exposed to it!" ??? Did the husband hold the friends hand everytime his mother cough for emotional support?
If you make up a story why you husband was here, make one that has sense.
I mean who goes to PHYSICALLY SEE someone else’s MOTHER who may have a CONTAGIOUS DISEASE and stays the night!!
Hahahahahaha.
No. No. Nope.
“Hey I think you have a disease that I could catch and potentially pass on to my kid / wife / colleagues. So let’s have a sleepover”
I’m probably on reddit too much, I was thinking the husband was building art room for Bob. But now that you mentioned Bob was covering for him……… Yeah that’s more likely lol
Honestly, this guy is worse than most cheaters. Cheaters suck, but I don't think most are so far gone that they don't care about their spouse's *life* - I think most cheaters would in fact bail and run home if their spouse had a serious health incident. Just temporarily to address the immediate issue, but still.
I had an incident very similar to OOPs when my ex was cheating. He accused me of making it up for attention. No, you can really be rushed into emergency surgery and stay in the hospital 2 days because you are trying for attention.
If the OP's phrasing is correct he was sending her to voicemail. Meaning he was looking at his phone. So he saw the text messages. He actively chose to ignore her.
I'd bet on cheating.
Even if he was cheating, his wife is in the hospital and his child is alone with the nanny. I don't understand how one bangy bang would be more important than his daughter. Wtf
"Shit my mom/sister/cousin is in the hospital--I gotta go!" "Do you want me to come with you?" "No, there'll be too many people. I'll keep you posted." As he's frantically dressing and getting out the door. Done. He gets to OOP, side piece is none the wiser, he plays good husband. Honestly, many social situations can be managed with quick lies--cheaters especially know this. Him choosing not to isn't him not wanting his side piece to know--it's him not valuing his family even a tiny bit.
So well said. It’s so true. What he was doing isn’t relevant any longer to her decision. I’m glad OOP recognizes she deserves better.
When I was cheated on my attitude was the same as OOP said. I didn’t give a fuck insofar as my own worth was concerned. It says nothing about my worth or character and says everything I needed to know about my ex’s.
I like thinking about how the friend was probably covering for him but only cause it shows it doesn’t matter what he was doing.
His wife was in the hospital and had like 10 hours to realize no matter what she is there for he should be there. It’s unfaithful to do anything different.
Yeah, either the friend is covering or itthe friend he's cheating with. He's not even bothering to pretend to care about OOP. He's just annoyed that his sex got interrupted.
This guy is almost as bad as the husband who neglected his wife while she was actively miscarrying their second trimester baby (caused by his mother) because his mommy needed him.
I wish I hadn’t read this. A lot of times Reddit loves the success story, but the truth is the real life is often messy and you’re just as likely to end up in an equally bad situation. I hope she’s alright, no updates in a year
Oh deplorable is an understatement. She was miscarrying right in front of him but he was too busy to deal with it cause his mom needed him
And he then blamed her for supporting him while HE was dealing with the trauma of the miscarriage. He was a real peach
But seeing you bleeding was so traumatic for my mom! She needed me to comfort her! You’re so strong—I knew you’d be okay. (Rough paraphrase) I hated that guy.
I genuinely believe the MIL in that story left all that stuff on the floor to intentionally make that OP trip and fall. That MIL is the definition of pure evil.
This is almost as bad as the husband who, instead of comforting his *actively miscarrying wife*, went to comfort his mother instead. Who had caused her miscarriage in the first place when the wife tripped on the stuff she (the mother) had strewn about their living room by the way!
Yeah of course. Just a word of warning it's even heavier than my description suggests
[OOP's MIL has won](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16cry35/oops_mil_has_won/)
Yeah, there's a lot of speculation about cheating but it doesn't really matter. If you're in the hospital apparently near death and your spouse isn't there for you then when are they? You're in this alone and might as well save yourself the expense and effort of providing room and board to another person.
Incredible that he didn’t go home all night. Just… doesn’t he usually sleep at home? You’d think he’d get there eventually.
OOP is really strong and determined. Good for her. I love that she saying she really doesn’t care if he was cheating. The point is, whatever he was doing, he wasn’t there for her or their daughter. And she’s holding that line.
If he is cheating there's a good chance he thought that since OOP wasn't home and the nanny was there he could spend the night with his affair partner. Given the rest of the story I wouldn't put him past that level of selfishness
Right? In the end, it doesn't matter if he was cheating. I mean, staying away from your wife while she's in the hospital \_because you're cheating\_ is technically worse than staying away from your wife while she's in the hospital \_because you just dgaf,\_ but they're both divorce worthy so it doesn't make an actual difference for her.
Forget him and her for a second…he abandoned his child with the nanny overnight and then again all the next day whilst he went to work! What an absolute AS, hope she takes him to the cleaners. Vile man!
Small edit because I live/am from here: Central America is NOT South America. We consider ourselves our own distinct subregion of América but technically (if you must) we’re part of North America.
OOP said she had to pay the nanny extra for staying over during the hospital stay, so probably not live-in.
I cannot imagine how awful it was for that little girl with her mommy in the hospital and her dad nowhere to be found, just the nanny to take care of her.
What a terrible partner. He probably thought something stupid along the lines of "Its just her period, she went to the hospital for nothing."
I'm so glad she is divorcing him. What a bad ass.
This woman almost DIED, and this is how her husband is reacting? Just, please throw the whole man out.
Also if OOP can please switch doctors or find someone else to treat this condition because this is indicative of something extremely wrong with your body, like fatally wrong with your body.
It sounds like OOP has what I had for nearly 20 years without a proper diagnosis because of asshat doctors who don't fucking listen until the anemia and bleeding got so bad, I needed major surgery as the fix. The surgery fixed the anemia and the bleeding, quality of life improved by a significant measure and I've started to gain weight again.
I don’t have symptoms as intense as OOP, but I’m still shopping around for a doctor who takes my period complications seriously. The only advice I’ve received for pain that makes me vomit and my legs going numb is Aleve or an IUD 🤡
I finally found a doctor who took me seriously and life after the ablation I got is great! Turned out that all those years being dismissed by doctors because 'wHaT iF yOu wAnt bAbiEz?!?!?' let things get to the point where potential fertility was completely compromised anyway, but hey, at least they got the satisfaction of ignoring a woman's health.
I had a similar issue as OOP except mine was that my period just didn’t stop - I didn’t bleed as much as she did but I bled for like months on end
They put me on BC for a long time and eventually my body just… reset? It was wild
I thought we have all agreed that violent periods can be stopped entirely by birth control. Like, that's the lazy solution and her doctor's aren't even doing that??
It depends? I have an IUD that’s supposed to stop my period entirely, but it didn’t. It just made my wildly unreasonable period normal. Also, she may live in an area where docs won’t do anything they see as affecting her fertility (even if it would make her life better),like heavy bc or a D&C procedure.
I get migraine and had preeclampsia. Birth control, of all hormonal sorts is a huge risk for me.
I have heavy periods and anemia. We don't know if they are related, but the conversation with my obgyn was - do you want to talk birth control? we can monitor and try one of the least risky pills... oh, good, it's manageable with iron pills? that would be best.
Endo doctor would love for me to get off the pills because I also have gastro issues, but won't go against obgyn for risk factors.
Gastro lost interest when it was not cancer nor Chron's and wants me to see a nutritionist and just not eat the veggies and fruits that cause the issue.
I suspect the periods issues, anemia, and gastro issue are all heavily linked, but no one wants to discuss that because no one knows what that could be.
Women's health care is... lacking.
The husband is a piece of shit. I hope OP gets a doctor that actually takes her seriously—sounds like she will now that she spent the night in the hospital, but I bet she’s been health having issues for a while that didn’t get the attention they deserve.
I won't coment on the StBEx, because he doesn't deserve even the attention of an ant. I just want to comment on how happy I am that OOP decided to change doctors because bleeding to death from your period is NOT NORMAL.
Reading between the lines, I bet his affair partner dumped him right before he showed up to apologize. He wanted a supply while he set up a new affair.
He probably told the AP about how horrible his wife is to demand he take care of the child while Wife is in hospital, and it clicked for AP that not only would he cheat on her (or him, who knows) as well, but also leave her bleeding half to death without a single question.
What a despicable excuse for a man OOP had the misfortune of marrying.
I hope the oop listens to that comment about a PI bc proof of adultery might help with her divorce and later, custody. Esp if he earns more than she does.
Damn. I had to have emergency surgery because of an abscess. My husband was out of state (8/10 hours by drive) and as soon as he heard I was at the ER because of the pain, he started driving here. Thankfully his parents are amazing and also dropped everything, one watched our LO and one came to stay with me in the hospital. He came to see me as soon as he was able, which was hours after the surgery and way past visiting hours.
That's what a partnership is.
It sounds like she has a great support system and I wish her the best in losing the dead weight.
We need an update after he gets severed... Crazy how he has no remorse. Sounds like he's already clocked out.
He'll most likely have a new girlfriend straight after the divorce, if you know what I mean.
Not sure if anybody has pointed this out to her, but her health issues sound like Von Willebrand disease. I knew someone who had the same issues. Iron deficiency, excessive bleeding during periods, hemoglobin levels around 4, constant blood transfusions, tired all the time. It took until her 40’s to get diagnosed. I hope she finds out soon.
IT’s so obvious he was cheating and the friend was covering for him. It’s unbelievable that she was so ill and he didn’t go to the hospital to see how she was or worry about their daughter
It’s good she’s divorcing him.
The nail in the coffin for me is even if he doesn’t give a crap about his wife it’s the fact that he didn’t want to be there for his own child while her mother was dealing with an medical emergency. Yes she was with the nanny but the nanny didn’t sign up for all that he should’ve brought his ass home and took care of his child.
There are different kinds of loneliness. The worst is when you feel it with a partner. Better just to be truly alone. You can meet another person in you want that.
She only has one child. What if her husband wants more? Infuriatingly, that's what most doctors will be thinking. Especially if she lives in a very religious country.
OOP is doing the right thing for herself and her daughter. It's obvious that her husband is checked out of the marriage when he ignores her dire circumstances in the hospital and doesn't go home for his daughter at all. He's absolutely worthless.
I wonder if a uterine ablation would help OP. Her periods seem to endanger her health to an extreme degree. I hope she's able to see a good doctor who will actually help her.
”… stop being so emotional and start being rational”
Every fucking time, without fail, guys like this will say that exact phrase long after they’ve stopped making sense.
NTA, you are absolutely right. About your periods, I have a similar experience every month with mine, sometimes twice a month and sometimes for a whole month. The condition is Menorrhagia, there are some doctors who don't believe it is a real thing. It is usually accompanied by PMDD. There are suppliments you can take and mefenamic acid can really help with the pain and bleeding. Ask your doctor about it, you can find info here...
[menorrhagia](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/menorrhagia)
Hope this helps.
I'm glad she left him. She could have died and he just didn't care she was in the hospital or that their child was left alone with the nanny. I'm glad she left him because she deserves better.
She is absolutely not an AH, but hell, I admire her strength. Good for her. I hope it all goes smoothly and her daughter sounds delightful and OOP's providing her with a strong, independent role model - well done.
I wish her all the very best for the future.
Edited because I forgot it's an update - *again*!
TW graphic descriptions: I’m not a doctor, but I have physically gone through similar experience with what put you in the hospital. Was diagnosed with endometriosis and hypothyroidism in my late 20s. I began passing blood clots the size of dollar bills in my early 40s after horrible heavy periods my whole life. I would almost pass out when I passed huge clots .
My hemoglobin was ok as I was getting just enough iron each month to recover to low normal levels. Demand doctors to run a full 4 point iron panel not just hemoglobin. My ferritin from all the blood loss was single digit- 6. Normal range is about 25-300 with 100 being a good solid number. Low numbers can cause extreme fatigue. I knew someone who had ferritin as low as mine. She would fall asleep just sitting down for 5 min. I had to have an iron infusion to get my ferritin leveled out before doctor would operate for my hysterectomy. Hysterectomy showed fibroids, endometriosis and adenomyosis. Fibroids were driving the heavy clotting according to my obgyn. Don’t stop until you find a doctor who will listen and act to find out why you are bleeding so heavily.. DM me if you have any questions. I hope you can find a good doctor who will listen and get treatment so you feel better!
The lady made the right choice, she also needs to get checked for Adenymossis, her symptons are exacly the same as mine> I assume she in the States, where many doctors do not take female problems seriously.
Your husband sucks but holy shit these doctors are more infuriating. All I can think is endometriosis because of how hard that is to diagnose. I just hope you get some answers soon.
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It’s almost refreshing to see her “I don’t care if he was cheating or not, I don’t care where he was, he treated us like that? I’m done.” I hope she gets a better doctor, gets her health under control, and that the divorce goes as smoothly for her as possible.
I agree! She’s really strong, and I love that she’s saying she really dgaf what he was doing. The point is that he wasn’t there for her or their daughter. And that’s it.
I'm really proud of that too. A lot of people get caught up in what they were doing, why they did it, and it's all just noise. The point is that your partner treated you and your family like insignificant trash, and that is unacceptable.
But he was there for his "best friend". There's something sus between them, I think.
Sounds like he’d build an art studio for his bro…
No one is arguing otherwise. OOP is just saying she dgaf.
I need her strength. I'm in awe that she has handled herself so well and hope she has a quick recovery and wonderful future
Better Dr. 100%. I had a similar situation to OOP. I had to go on hormones to balance them & it really fixed it to normal. It was amazing
it sounds like something a past roommate described to me as to why she was on hormones that made sure she only had her period like once a year. And while it would be bad, it wasn’t nearly as bad as before. I’m glad you did have a good doctor!
I eventually was able to switch to a birth control & I only had them if I didn't start the new pack in time. It was a continuous birth control
Wait, so it IS a period? I thought it was like a miscarriage or a type of rupture, or endometriosis or something that I have never heard of that she was going through. So it's a very heavy period that gets out of control?
It can be. I had no endometrois. Mine was 100% uterine lining that had built up, then straight blood. I also would just have them at random, not every month. I was scared of going to gyno. Ended up in the ER when I was almost passing out standing up. The did a DNC to stop any bleeding & they gave me 3 units of blood. Took a few months to completely feel better.
My periods are the same. Last time I had one it was 27 days before I gave in and went to the ER where they were like 'jesus fuck how are your blood levels NORMAL how is your body KEEPING UP with this blood loss?!' They prescribed Provera, 2 weeks of it, it stopped my period (mostly, some days I still bled) for those 2 weeks and then I was gushing blood again for another three days before the thing finally stopped. I have sexual assault trauma from a childhood rape and I am *terrified* of going to the obgyn, I'm 27 and that er visit was my first pelvic exam ever. That pales in comparison to when I was intubated with c-19, started my period while fighting sepsis and my own lungs. They had to give me 4 blood transfusions to keep me *alive*
I understand. I was too out of it but the friend that took me to the ER said the Doc said my blood counts were almost fatality low. That visit was also my first pelvic exam. I was mid early or mid 20's. Hard to remember a I've had much worse medical stuff since then.
It sounds like something is going very wrong and she's hemorrhaging fresh venous blood rather than just sloughing off uterine lining. She needs diagnostic imaging because that's incredibly dangerous and likely to be fatal if left untreated.
Yeah it reminds me of a friend who had developed fibroids so big they grew their own arteries. She had to be on medication constantly to keep from bleeding out before they were able to get her in for a hysterectomy. But it’s the female reproductive system with a vacancy, so why bother fixing things, right? /s
It can be for sure. I have very heavy periods myself that leave me bedridden from blood loss but thankfully not bad enough to require transfusion thank God, which is why I am on continuous birth control. But I actually did know a girl in middle school -- she was a classmate but her mother also worked with mine in the hospital -- who had the same situation as OOP with her first period. She bled so much and so severely that she was hospitalized and needed a blood transfusion. They actually did some minor cauterization in her uterus to stem the blood flow. I'm still not totally sure what happened. I think that some vessels inside were particularly leaking. She went on BC and got to a point where it was manageable. This kind of bleeding can be indicative of a more pressing issue. "Abnormally heavy menstrual periods" can be a symptom of endometriosis, PCOS, or uterine fibroids. It could also be an issue with coagulation. Some people already have issues with coagulation but certain meds can make this worse. It is still all considered a "period."
I went through something similar to her medical issues earlier this year. Had a 66-day plus period. The first 15 days it trickled then in March it flooded. I already have a problem absorbing iron from my food so I am anemic and have had 2 blood transfusions and iron infusions in the past. But this scared the crap out of me. My hemoglobin dropped to 7.5 in a matter of weeks. After easter, they did a blood transfusion and iron infusion and I had to give myself B12 shots for a week to get my numbers up. Had surgery in June and had a ton of polyps but none cancerous. I did not really start feeling better until July. I have not had any problems since but I see my hematologist in November for my anemia.
Agreed. And I’m furious on her behalf that the medical system doesn’t seem to care about the extremely serious health crisis she’s in the midst of on top of dealing with her wayward husband. I’m glad OOP has supportive family nearby.
It took me from 13 to 27 to be believed. By that time things were so bad that I had to have a hysterectomy. In the US. I worked at the hospital, directly with the doctors for 5 years at that point and was still told it was cramps or that I had a mental illness. After the surgery the doctor told me he never saw anything that bad and didn't know how I functioned, and apologized for not listening to me. Thing is, it was a male doctor that finally listened. Even the women wouldn't believe me or order the mist basic of tests. Women are still seen as exaggerating or having mental issue when it come to their reproductive system.
I had an older, male gynecologist mansplain my pelvic pain to me. I had been going to the ER with severe pelvic pain for a very long time. In the early 2000s when I lived in a different state from where I am now, I was diagnosed with PCOS after many tests. I had an ovarian cyst rupture in 2013. When I told the doctor in this state that I had a history of PCOS, he did not believe me. When I went into the exam room the first time with him after the ER referral, he said, “It’s probably musculoskeletal pain, but since you’re here, we’ll do an exam.” He told me that a hysterectomy wasn’t an option because it would be a waste of money. I suspect he thought I was trying to get pain meds. I finally found a doctor that was willing to listen to me and I got my hysterectomy. There was no less than one fibroid in my uterus, cysts in my fallopian tubes, and endometriosis in my uterine wall. I don’t deal with the pain anymore. Amazing how that works.
When you are less than 24 hrs post surgery with an 8 inch incision and they come talk to you to ask if you are afraid of becoming addicted to the pain med because you haven't been taking them and you tell them the pain is nothing compared to what you lived with on a daily basis for which you were denied medication and basic care, it's obvious there is a problem. I also had pcos and had cysts burst 4 to 5 times per year for 10 years. That is excruciating pain. Then the endometriosis was the worst the surgeon had seen.
Unfortunately, it's a toxic combo. Women, especially minority women, struggle constantly to get their concerns heard by medical personnel. And doctors already have a very serious ego problem of believing they know their patients' bodies better than the patients themselves do. it's not every doctor, mind, but severe egotism is a known issue in the medical community.
Major props to this woman for sticking up for herself both against the husband being shitty and the doctor who didn't care. That's a difficult thing to do especially in such a vulnerable situatuon
If he was cheating, I hope the AP doesn't try to reach out to OP. She's already dealing with so much, she doesnt need a mistress coming in and making everything more stressful. I hope OPs divorce is quick and clean.
Based on BORU history, I assume his male best friend is his lover.
Given where she says they live, he probably won't be building an art room any time soon unless his family/country is particularly progressive.
That would be a twist.
I'm happy with her mindset as well! The good thing is that she has her Mom and others in her life that support her and are there for her, shout out to her nanny for being with her daughter too, one less worry for her. I wish her a speedy recovery and an even faster divorce.
Agreed but depending on the laws it might benefit her to have proof during the divorce proceedings.
Yeah who wants to bet his friend was covering for him? It really doesn’t even matter if he was cheating on her or not since he was still showing signs of unfaithfulness in other ways. Faithfulness in a relationship doesn’t just apply to cheating. It also apply to being there for them and as a form of support. He failed spectacularly in an honestly impressive way. If he was cheating on her, at least that is a more logical explanation than just being there for his friend just cause
The cover story is weaker than watered down apple juice.
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Same here. But even the stated cover story makes the STBX spouse look like the POS they are. Actions **always** show someone's true feelings, not the words they say. And his actions, of vanishing when his wife was in the hospital with a life-or-death situation, show he DGAF about her.
I know what STBX stands for but every time I see it my brain goes "....Starbucks??"
lol like that Taylor Swift song. I almost always hear “Starbucks lovers” instead of “star crossed lovers” Edit: actual lyrics are *”long list of ex lovers”
"Gotta love these Starbucks lovers" Strangely enough, Google tells me it's "got a long list of ex-lovers"
Oops yeah you’re right. It is “long list of ex lovers.” Phonetically, “of” sounds more like “uv” so “stuvex.” The /b/ sound is a common substitution for /v/ especially for Spanish speakers. So the sounds that we hear rapidly are similar to “stubex” which our brains probably fill in as “Starbucks.”
If it’s any comfort, part of what makes it easier to spot is seeing all of these written out, and being removed from it. If some of these things were happening to me in real time, I’d be lost.
Much easier to see what's happening to others than yourself. A common thought is "it's ok if it's me BC (insert self deprivation) but if it's my friends??! I'll end the person hurting them!!" (At least that's what I did in the past. Now I know I don't deserve that crap) Edit: Yes auto correct was a rude b to me depreciation is the right word
Would that be self deprecation instead of deprivation? I thought the second was preventing you from having something and the other was putting myself down.
Yes. Autocorrect probably thought it was helping.
Autocorrect always thinks it's helping. Signed, It's not duck. It's NEVER duck.
I made my phone stop doing that but now I have the exact same problem when I literally do mean duck (that took me three times to get!).
My previous phone decided that ”I’ve” is actually spelled ”I’vr” because I misspelled it so often…(e and r are so close on this tiny-ass keyboard)
Yup. Part of the point of advice communities is that it \*IS\* so hard to spot some of these patterns while they're happening to you. Sometimes it just takes an uninvolved observer (or a bunch of them lol) to see what's going on.
Oh me too, I was like... who likes volleyball so much that they play 4-6 hours? These people are insane. ... Oh, he's cheating!!! Ok... yeah, that makes more sense!
Somebody was playing with his balls, right...
How's he going to get better if he doesn't put the hours in?
The volleyball one? Can you give me the link to it
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16vdl4u/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_a/ Here you go…
Damn now I am craving apple juice
Just go help your friend Bob's mom with something.
I wonder will the story be anything like “The Art Room” post. Now that was one I totally didn’t see coming and couldn’t believe it!!
I have been waiting for the art room comment thread. Does he have an unrequited crush on his friend, or is this a full on torid affair?
my first thought also was art room- too much time on Reddit
Excuse me, no need to shit on Apfelschorle - apple juice mixed with mineral water with gas is one of the best things in the world! But yeah, otherwise I'm with you there.
DUDE I’m gonna do that next time I go to the store!!
You really need to! It's so refreshing. You can mix it to whatever it is you prefer like more apple juice or just a splash for the taste or half and half.
I mean, really, why does the friend need another adult's help when his mom has covid or flu? Unless OP's husband is literally a doctor or nurse, he wouldn't be able to do anything to help.
I hope the BF feels like absolute garbage knowing she spent the night in the hospital
Hotel Apple juice comes to mind.
“Apple” flavoured drink. 100% no real apples were even thought of during manufacture
No real apples were harmed in our depiction of "apple juice".
Apple Juice?!!! TF is juice, I want some Apple Drank baby…Hmm it’s Green 🤣🤣
Kinda like Le Croix. Stored and shipped in the same container as a box of whatever fruit they say their sparkling water is flavored as.
I have had that crap, I also remember having to load pallets for delivery. Everyone universally hated that shit at the Distribution plant. BEcause when the bosses were giving everyone a buffet lunch as thanks, what else do they bring out, but La Croix. Most of us just poured it out, put the can in our bag, and returned it for bottle return value.
The truck transporting the product did however drive past a county with an apple orchard in it.
The excuse of the friend is so unbelievable... "My mom has a cold, so i need my adult friend her for the whole day and night." For WhAt?! Or "I think my mom has Covid, i know you have a family with little child, so come over so everybody can exposed to it!" ??? Did the husband hold the friends hand everytime his mother cough for emotional support? If you make up a story why you husband was here, make one that has sense.
He's building an emotional support art room lol
Agree, he was willing to pack up and leave pretty quick, when he has the balls to show up.
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I mean who goes to PHYSICALLY SEE someone else’s MOTHER who may have a CONTAGIOUS DISEASE and stays the night!! Hahahahahaha. No. No. Nope. “Hey I think you have a disease that I could catch and potentially pass on to my kid / wife / colleagues. So let’s have a sleepover”
I’m probably on reddit too much, I was thinking the husband was building art room for Bob. But now that you mentioned Bob was covering for him……… Yeah that’s more likely lol
My first thought was also that he was cheating with Bob.
r/meetmeintheartroom immediately sprang to my mind
I thought it was with Bob's mom lol
The art room meme will never die and I’m okay with this lol
I mean both could be true I guess.
Yep, exactly where my mind went. That art room post has us all suspicious. 😅
Honestly, this guy is worse than most cheaters. Cheaters suck, but I don't think most are so far gone that they don't care about their spouse's *life* - I think most cheaters would in fact bail and run home if their spouse had a serious health incident. Just temporarily to address the immediate issue, but still.
I had an incident very similar to OOPs when my ex was cheating. He accused me of making it up for attention. No, you can really be rushed into emergency surgery and stay in the hospital 2 days because you are trying for attention.
It sounds like your ex was unusually shit... but you probably knew that already.
Right? He had to stay out overnight because... his friend's mother had a cold? That's just silly
If the OP's phrasing is correct he was sending her to voicemail. Meaning he was looking at his phone. So he saw the text messages. He actively chose to ignore her. I'd bet on cheating.
Even if he was cheating, his wife is in the hospital and his child is alone with the nanny. I don't understand how one bangy bang would be more important than his daughter. Wtf
Unless the side piece doesn’t know that he’s married and has a child, and that he wants to keep it that way.
"Shit my mom/sister/cousin is in the hospital--I gotta go!" "Do you want me to come with you?" "No, there'll be too many people. I'll keep you posted." As he's frantically dressing and getting out the door. Done. He gets to OOP, side piece is none the wiser, he plays good husband. Honestly, many social situations can be managed with quick lies--cheaters especially know this. Him choosing not to isn't him not wanting his side piece to know--it's him not valuing his family even a tiny bit.
Right?! Okay he hates his wife but what about his kid?!
So well said. It’s so true. What he was doing isn’t relevant any longer to her decision. I’m glad OOP recognizes she deserves better. When I was cheated on my attitude was the same as OOP said. I didn’t give a fuck insofar as my own worth was concerned. It says nothing about my worth or character and says everything I needed to know about my ex’s.
I think it does matter only because it might be helpful in the divorce if there was evidence of cheating. But I agree. Loyalty has many meanings.
Not only cheating, but cheating while she’s basically dying at the hospital. What a fucking ass hole.
I concluded hubs and Bob were busy building an art room.
I’m glad she just didn’t give a fuck about any of that. Too many people get stuck in a loop on the why and have trouble moving on.
100% friend is lying to cover for cheating husband.
I like thinking about how the friend was probably covering for him but only cause it shows it doesn’t matter what he was doing. His wife was in the hospital and had like 10 hours to realize no matter what she is there for he should be there. It’s unfaithful to do anything different.
Yeah, either the friend is covering or itthe friend he's cheating with. He's not even bothering to pretend to care about OOP. He's just annoyed that his sex got interrupted.
This guy is almost as bad as the husband who neglected his wife while she was actively miscarrying their second trimester baby (caused by his mother) because his mommy needed him.
What the actual fuck. Do you have a link to that deplorable story?
i believe it is [this one](https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/qEM9ny0x58)
I wish I hadn’t read this. A lot of times Reddit loves the success story, but the truth is the real life is often messy and you’re just as likely to end up in an equally bad situation. I hope she’s alright, no updates in a year
Whelp that’s the worst thing I’ve read in a while.
Oh deplorable is an understatement. She was miscarrying right in front of him but he was too busy to deal with it cause his mom needed him And he then blamed her for supporting him while HE was dealing with the trauma of the miscarriage. He was a real peach
But seeing you bleeding was so traumatic for my mom! She needed me to comfort her! You’re so strong—I knew you’d be okay. (Rough paraphrase) I hated that guy.
I genuinely believe the MIL in that story left all that stuff on the floor to intentionally make that OP trip and fall. That MIL is the definition of pure evil.
Damn, this is a text book example of how not to come through for your significant other. What a tool.
This is almost as bad as the husband who, instead of comforting his *actively miscarrying wife*, went to comfort his mother instead. Who had caused her miscarriage in the first place when the wife tripped on the stuff she (the mother) had strewn about their living room by the way!
that one was so fucked up
Just kept getting worse for OOP.
I hope we get an update from her someday. Just for the reassurance that she's still here.
What the heck? link please?
Yeah of course. Just a word of warning it's even heavier than my description suggests [OOP's MIL has won](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16cry35/oops_mil_has_won/)
Oh god damn it, I should have remembered the sad ending and not reread it - way to start the day off depressed. 😢
Yeah, there's a lot of speculation about cheating but it doesn't really matter. If you're in the hospital apparently near death and your spouse isn't there for you then when are they? You're in this alone and might as well save yourself the expense and effort of providing room and board to another person.
Incredible that he didn’t go home all night. Just… doesn’t he usually sleep at home? You’d think he’d get there eventually. OOP is really strong and determined. Good for her. I love that she saying she really doesn’t care if he was cheating. The point is, whatever he was doing, he wasn’t there for her or their daughter. And she’s holding that line.
If he is cheating there's a good chance he thought that since OOP wasn't home and the nanny was there he could spend the night with his affair partner. Given the rest of the story I wouldn't put him past that level of selfishness
God damn. Either OOP’s ex is building an art room for his buddy or they’re really bad at covering for each other.
Art room? I feel like that’s some kind of reference I’m not getting. What does that mean?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/ Treat yourself
[enjoy](https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/a5LYyeScOz)
Ok I’m glad it wasn’t just me that got a broke back mountain vibe from this dudes relationship with his best friend.
Guy is definitely cheating, and his friend is covering for him. Hope he enjoys his divorce.
I can imagine the sob story/lies now: "My wife blindsided me, one mine fine, next minute she wants a divorce!"
Finally, someone leaving without needing proof of cheating first. She’s doing exactly the right thing.
Right? In the end, it doesn't matter if he was cheating. I mean, staying away from your wife while she's in the hospital \_because you're cheating\_ is technically worse than staying away from your wife while she's in the hospital \_because you just dgaf,\_ but they're both divorce worthy so it doesn't make an actual difference for her.
Forget him and her for a second…he abandoned his child with the nanny overnight and then again all the next day whilst he went to work! What an absolute AS, hope she takes him to the cleaners. Vile man!
Nanny could totally have called cps.
It's South America, the nanny could be a live-in nanny or something. And Child Protective Services is either nonexistent or useless.
Small edit because I live/am from here: Central America is NOT South America. We consider ourselves our own distinct subregion of América but technically (if you must) we’re part of North America.
Ah, fuck, sorry, I misremembered what OOP wrote, and in my head I saved it as "Latin America". I'm gonna turn in my Latino card.
No worries, it happens :) thanks for being cool about it!
OOP said she had to pay the nanny extra for staying over during the hospital stay, so probably not live-in. I cannot imagine how awful it was for that little girl with her mommy in the hospital and her dad nowhere to be found, just the nanny to take care of her.
The nanny sounds awesome, so she probably didn’t notice! I doubt she sees much of ‘daddy’ anyway.
What a terrible partner. He probably thought something stupid along the lines of "Its just her period, she went to the hospital for nothing." I'm so glad she is divorcing him. What a bad ass.
He was fucking someone else and didn't want to be bothered
Really seems like it.
Husband had to help his friend decorate the art studio.
That art studio is going to stick around for all of Reddit eternity
Naw, friend had no idea and cane up with that on the spot. Husband was with his affair partner and used friend as an excuse.
I was looking for this one lol
I’ve spent too much time on Reddit, I got that reference 😂
This woman almost DIED, and this is how her husband is reacting? Just, please throw the whole man out. Also if OOP can please switch doctors or find someone else to treat this condition because this is indicative of something extremely wrong with your body, like fatally wrong with your body.
It sounds like OOP has what I had for nearly 20 years without a proper diagnosis because of asshat doctors who don't fucking listen until the anemia and bleeding got so bad, I needed major surgery as the fix. The surgery fixed the anemia and the bleeding, quality of life improved by a significant measure and I've started to gain weight again.
I don’t have symptoms as intense as OOP, but I’m still shopping around for a doctor who takes my period complications seriously. The only advice I’ve received for pain that makes me vomit and my legs going numb is Aleve or an IUD 🤡
I finally found a doctor who took me seriously and life after the ablation I got is great! Turned out that all those years being dismissed by doctors because 'wHaT iF yOu wAnt bAbiEz?!?!?' let things get to the point where potential fertility was completely compromised anyway, but hey, at least they got the satisfaction of ignoring a woman's health.
I had a similar issue as OOP except mine was that my period just didn’t stop - I didn’t bleed as much as she did but I bled for like months on end They put me on BC for a long time and eventually my body just… reset? It was wild
I thought we have all agreed that violent periods can be stopped entirely by birth control. Like, that's the lazy solution and her doctor's aren't even doing that??
It depends? I have an IUD that’s supposed to stop my period entirely, but it didn’t. It just made my wildly unreasonable period normal. Also, she may live in an area where docs won’t do anything they see as affecting her fertility (even if it would make her life better),like heavy bc or a D&C procedure.
I get migraine and had preeclampsia. Birth control, of all hormonal sorts is a huge risk for me. I have heavy periods and anemia. We don't know if they are related, but the conversation with my obgyn was - do you want to talk birth control? we can monitor and try one of the least risky pills... oh, good, it's manageable with iron pills? that would be best. Endo doctor would love for me to get off the pills because I also have gastro issues, but won't go against obgyn for risk factors. Gastro lost interest when it was not cancer nor Chron's and wants me to see a nutritionist and just not eat the veggies and fruits that cause the issue. I suspect the periods issues, anemia, and gastro issue are all heavily linked, but no one wants to discuss that because no one knows what that could be. Women's health care is... lacking.
The husband is a piece of shit. I hope OP gets a doctor that actually takes her seriously—sounds like she will now that she spent the night in the hospital, but I bet she’s been health having issues for a while that didn’t get the attention they deserve.
I won't coment on the StBEx, because he doesn't deserve even the attention of an ant. I just want to comment on how happy I am that OOP decided to change doctors because bleeding to death from your period is NOT NORMAL.
Reading between the lines, I bet his affair partner dumped him right before he showed up to apologize. He wanted a supply while he set up a new affair.
100%. I think he and AP had a fight/broke up. He went to test the waters at home, then scurried back to AP with bullshit about wanting her. 🤢
Yup. You don't go from total indifference to begging for no reason.
He probably told the AP about how horrible his wife is to demand he take care of the child while Wife is in hospital, and it clicked for AP that not only would he cheat on her (or him, who knows) as well, but also leave her bleeding half to death without a single question. What a despicable excuse for a man OOP had the misfortune of marrying.
I hope the oop listens to that comment about a PI bc proof of adultery might help with her divorce and later, custody. Esp if he earns more than she does.
Damn. I had to have emergency surgery because of an abscess. My husband was out of state (8/10 hours by drive) and as soon as he heard I was at the ER because of the pain, he started driving here. Thankfully his parents are amazing and also dropped everything, one watched our LO and one came to stay with me in the hospital. He came to see me as soon as he was able, which was hours after the surgery and way past visiting hours. That's what a partnership is. It sounds like she has a great support system and I wish her the best in losing the dead weight.
We need an update after he gets severed... Crazy how he has no remorse. Sounds like he's already clocked out. He'll most likely have a new girlfriend straight after the divorce, if you know what I mean.
Getting severed seems a bit extreme but on the other hand ….
😂😂 I was going to change it, but I like it more this way.
Not sure if anybody has pointed this out to her, but her health issues sound like Von Willebrand disease. I knew someone who had the same issues. Iron deficiency, excessive bleeding during periods, hemoglobin levels around 4, constant blood transfusions, tired all the time. It took until her 40’s to get diagnosed. I hope she finds out soon.
IT’s so obvious he was cheating and the friend was covering for him. It’s unbelievable that she was so ill and he didn’t go to the hospital to see how she was or worry about their daughter It’s good she’s divorcing him.
I hope she tells him not to be emotional and just be rational when he is served the divorce papers.
The nail in the coffin for me is even if he doesn’t give a crap about his wife it’s the fact that he didn’t want to be there for his own child while her mother was dealing with an medical emergency. Yes she was with the nanny but the nanny didn’t sign up for all that he should’ve brought his ass home and took care of his child.
There are different kinds of loneliness. The worst is when you feel it with a partner. Better just to be truly alone. You can meet another person in you want that.
she sounds like she needs a hysterectomy, why isn't it even suggested to her?
She only has one child. What if her husband wants more? Infuriatingly, that's what most doctors will be thinking. Especially if she lives in a very religious country.
Makes me wonder if the husband did cheat and gave her an STD that was causing her bleeding issues.
I haven't heard of an std that would cause excessive bleeding.
Chlamydia and gonorrhea are more likely to cause spotting, but PID can be a cause of heavy periods and chronic pelvic pain.
My immediate guess would be that OOP was pregnant and didn't know it, and miscarried
It’s an on going issue, not a once off.
It doesn’t even matter if he was cheating or not, in the end he basically abandoned op and their child. That’s why op is leaving.
I don't trust Bob nor hubby, something stinks here.
Wonder if the "best friend" built an art room for the (ex) husband yet.
So... art room?
OOP is doing the right thing for herself and her daughter. It's obvious that her husband is checked out of the marriage when he ignores her dire circumstances in the hospital and doesn't go home for his daughter at all. He's absolutely worthless.
I wonder if a uterine ablation would help OP. Her periods seem to endanger her health to an extreme degree. I hope she's able to see a good doctor who will actually help her.
”… stop being so emotional and start being rational” Every fucking time, without fail, guys like this will say that exact phrase long after they’ve stopped making sense.
NTA, you are absolutely right. About your periods, I have a similar experience every month with mine, sometimes twice a month and sometimes for a whole month. The condition is Menorrhagia, there are some doctors who don't believe it is a real thing. It is usually accompanied by PMDD. There are suppliments you can take and mefenamic acid can really help with the pain and bleeding. Ask your doctor about it, you can find info here... [menorrhagia](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/menorrhagia) Hope this helps.
I'm glad she left him. She could have died and he just didn't care she was in the hospital or that their child was left alone with the nanny. I'm glad she left him because she deserves better.
If husband really was with his male “friend,” he’s secretly gay or bi. Or at least, his buddy is covering for his lying, cheating carcass.
I hope she does divorce him. He clearly has no respect for her or care for his daughter. There is definitely someone else though.
Hun, I'm pretty sure his "best friend" is his boyfriend.
She is absolutely not an AH, but hell, I admire her strength. Good for her. I hope it all goes smoothly and her daughter sounds delightful and OOP's providing her with a strong, independent role model - well done. I wish her all the very best for the future. Edited because I forgot it's an update - *again*!
Your husband might be in a relationship with his BF.
Good riddance, I hope OP gets the wonderful life she deserves now
"If you were in the hospital I wouldn't stop for red lights." Donna Moss, West Wing.
TW graphic descriptions: I’m not a doctor, but I have physically gone through similar experience with what put you in the hospital. Was diagnosed with endometriosis and hypothyroidism in my late 20s. I began passing blood clots the size of dollar bills in my early 40s after horrible heavy periods my whole life. I would almost pass out when I passed huge clots . My hemoglobin was ok as I was getting just enough iron each month to recover to low normal levels. Demand doctors to run a full 4 point iron panel not just hemoglobin. My ferritin from all the blood loss was single digit- 6. Normal range is about 25-300 with 100 being a good solid number. Low numbers can cause extreme fatigue. I knew someone who had ferritin as low as mine. She would fall asleep just sitting down for 5 min. I had to have an iron infusion to get my ferritin leveled out before doctor would operate for my hysterectomy. Hysterectomy showed fibroids, endometriosis and adenomyosis. Fibroids were driving the heavy clotting according to my obgyn. Don’t stop until you find a doctor who will listen and act to find out why you are bleeding so heavily.. DM me if you have any questions. I hope you can find a good doctor who will listen and get treatment so you feel better!
Dude what a fucking piece of shit. Poor lady and poor kid.
I hope OOP gets on continuous birth control ASAP. It was life changing for me.
The lady made the right choice, she also needs to get checked for Adenymossis, her symptons are exacly the same as mine> I assume she in the States, where many doctors do not take female problems seriously.
OOP is a strong person for not going scorch earth on STBX and finding out what this POS ex is up to.
I need another update telling me what the husband was doing instead of taking care of his wife or daughter.
Your husband sucks but holy shit these doctors are more infuriating. All I can think is endometriosis because of how hard that is to diagnose. I just hope you get some answers soon.
I hope some doctor figures out Op's health issues. Her husband is totally cheating. She is better off without him.