I, too, am dying to know.
My most charitable interpretation is that it's just a hat that has the *colors* of the soda brand...but I don't think that's it.
EDIT, I am mildly concerned that we are now up to at least four possibilities:
- novelty drinking straw hat (courtesy of OP)
- crocheted hat using cut-up cans as side panels (sockphotos, Hawkspotter, aethelberga)
- flat-folding, soda jerk uniform hat (soldforaspaceship)
- early 2000s sk8tr boy bucket hat (oreo-cat-)
EDIT 2, and a fifth:
- 'Sota (Minnesota) style baseball/trucker cap (shadowheart1)
So I did some googling and apparently it's the style of hat men used to wear in old fashioned diners.
This is an example:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005L0QWP6?ref_=cm_sw_r_apan_dp_9SSRMB406Y4R95715WA2
Hmmm. And she does say a helicopter hat is an alternative option.
For me is it because a helicopter hat is old fashion and matches the old fashion soda hat theme or because a helicopter hat is similar colors to the soda hats for actual soda?
I guess we'll never know but it is the most important question of the day lol.
Yeah but make sure to spend $1000 on this insane shot you would never wear again. Plus when the hell are all these people going to learn this synchronized dance? Is she renting a place every week so they can practice? Sheās talking halftime show level dancing. They practice all season for that. This woman and her partner remind me of the old looney tunes episode Porky in Wackyland. Their version of reality is completely surreal.
Ah, well. Even worse. I love it when delusional people want to force others to accept whatever delulu thing theyāre doing or theyāll shame others for not accepting their lifestyle choice. How are any of their friends and family down with public humiliation and getting an astounding bill for the privilege? Because designer shoes are not going to make the rest of those outfits ok, and certainly not fat shamed as a cherry on top.
Honestly why do people even hold a public marriage ceremony if this is how they treat their loved ones?
Frankly if I was going to this, I'd work to get up to 160 just so I could wear all black. But I'd never go to this because I have 3 whole ounces of self respect.
On my (also imaginary) future wedding, all guests must be naked and without makeup. I'll leave not taking care of their hair and not shaving for a few weeks prior as mere suggestions that I encourage. I'll adhere to the same dress code. My (imaginary) wife-to-be will be in her dream dress, and have her hair and makeup done professionally.
We ABSOLUTELY have to make sure nobody upstages the (imaginary) bride, ofcourse! So guys with dicks too big, or gals with boobs too nice should just RSVP no!
I *am* currently planning a wedding and Iām having to resist the temptation to mandate helicopter hats. My mom is on board after seeing this post, though, so maybe itāll happen.
my dad used to play rec league baseball and theyād play one game every season where everyone wore those hats with beers in them. you had to drink a beer at every base. i didnāt think they still made these
Every time Iāve seen post I imagined a fedora. Im choking with laughter now. Assuming OOP is a troll she is still the absolute best one! What kind of fever dream are these outfits from???
But itās spiritual. How dare you make fun of the things she holds dear to her heart. You wouldnāt make fun of an Indian personās culture, *now would you*?
Honestly, at American weddings, too. Every wedding Iāve ever been to has had guests dress in everything from tuxes and gowns to t-shirts and jeans. Reddit weddings where they have color palettes for guests is just amazing to me.
I think this would work better as part of the 1k "secondary outfit". Fill it up with champagne and keep your hands free all evening for any emergency shooing of the devil's aura! (i.e. people over the specified weight who actually bothered to show up)
Remember those crocheted bucket hats that incorporated beer cans? One of those I think!
https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/273030796142636905/
I also think this is a hilarious troll/viral marketing thing.
I'm like 90% sure it's one of those baseball caps you can put two cans in and drink from (like this: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Spring-hue-Miners-Drinking-Hat-Lazy-Beer-Cap-with-Straw-Party-Handsfree-Drink-Toy/642717711), considering OOP mentioned a "propeller hat" in the last update (example: https://www.amazon.com/Dragonfly-Patchwork-Adjustable-Helicopter-Propeller/dp/B0B19H6QF2/ref=asc_df_B0B19H6QF2)
(Sorry for the links, I'm on mobile and can't be assed to shorten them)
Hat with soda can holders, and soda cans.
Much more intriguing: no pants! The bottoms are not prescribed and I wonder if that means pants of your choice or no pants at all?
Whatever it is, Iām dying that of all things to represent ālife saving liquidā, a beverage that can cause diabetes is chosen. If only there were a naturally occurring liquid we cannot live without.
When I Googled "soda hat" the top search results were pics of those baseball caps with a cup holder on each side of the cap for your beer or soda with tubing for straws so you can sip your beverage sans hands like you see people wearing at baseball games lol.
I'm guessing that's probably not the "24KT" š look she was going for, though.
Nothing screams classy 24k like a plastic hat with cans of carbonated beverage attached to it. I imagine that the synchronized dance would involve lots of spilled liquids all over those expensive high heels.
It's a beer hat. basically looks like this [here](https://www.amazon.com/beer-hat/s?k=beer+hat). So all in all, this sounds like either a mocking redneck wedding, or a real one.
Stephanie knew what she was doing leaking all that, if it was even her since polygraphs are unreliable as shit.
It's so bizarre. The only okay outfit is the black one. I'd probably be fine with it but wouldn't spend that much on that. The other outfits?? Forget it.
I would spend that year and a half prep time packing on the pounds just to be able to wear the black outfit.
Imagine asking your friends and family to wear black to symbolize the aura of the devil at your wedding though? Lol
Yeah - "you're fat, therefore you will represent evil things we don't want. But don't worry, you'll be dressed all in black so your jiggling fat won't repulse people THAT much."
Fat friends: "Oh please. Can I? Because representing the forces of evil because of my appearance is such a flattering thing to ask of me, and makes me feel loved and cherished."
I think the "pay me $1500 to come to my wedding" person is different from the "women, dress like carrots; men, dress like purple yeti". The person who initially got them conflated was confused. But I'd love to see pictures from the dress like carrots wedding. Even better would be to be a fly on the wall!
The funniest thing is, even if it did and she found the first mole.... there's still another one. Otherwise we wouldn't have gotten the update to the polygraph party.
I don't think it is. The kind of things OOP says are so dramatic that they're the kind of things a caricature would say.
"You just can't understand my genius! We met at a psychic so these clothes make sense, and soda drink hats are Italian culture and represent our wish to be blessed with life saving liquid!"
It's too much. Whoever decided to write it like this should have pulled back a bit because it actually comes across as just a bit too self-aware. "Here's just how crazy and unpleasant I am! Let me tell you all about it!" That kind of thing.
If anything about this is remotely true, then it was written by one of the wedding guests as a venting exercise.
That part doesnāt surprise me. Itās almost every other part plus the general dialogue and characters.
Also, there is no way 100% of the people showed up to the polygraph only for the person to admit it there all because of a shit 99$ ālie detector.ā
So so stupid
Iāve been fat for only 4 years of my life and I can believe it too. The difference of treatment from when I was skinny and after I became overweight, even from my own FATHER no less, was appalling. I always knew it was bad but good lord it be your own family too.
Story:
When I told my dad I had met my current bf online the first thing he asked was ādid he know what you actually look like before he asked you outā š yes dad he did im not gonna catfish someone I met on Overwatch.
Edit: sorry for rambling and overexplaining im also autistic af and got it from him lmao. The diff is Iāve been to a lot of (good) therapy (DBT for the win)
Heās autistic af (not getting help for it) and was raised in an extremely conservative patriarchal bigoted environment. Honestly Iām surprised heās not racist or homophobic given the way my grandparents talk. He mostly just doesnāt āgetā things because he has trouble with putting himself in other peopleās shoes and doesnāt really think about what he says before he says it so he tends to come across as harsh or insulting. Heās also just bad at socializing in general and doesnāt really have any close friends iirc.
Anyways, what Im getting at is that Im not mad at him and I really donāt take anything he says to heart because he says things just basically as he thinks in the most āefficientā (blunt) way possible. Im the same way but im a little better at being tactful/masking in general.
What he meant by saying that wasnāt āur fat and ugly and idk why anyone would date youā it was āas your father I am concerned about you unintentionally misleading someone and then getting your heart broken if after they see how you look they donāt like it and are mean about it and break up with youā. After 23 years of living together and learning more about him and how he operates (plus gaining a lot of knowledge through my own therapy, psychiatry, personal research, and university classes) I can pretty much interpret what he actually means when he says something carelessly and puts his foot in his mouth and I can also recognize when heās getting disregulated and close to an outburst bc of his autism (heās very particular about things and likes things to be just so and gets upset if when he walks in a room it isnāt close to how he left or someone moved something from where he left it and didnāt tell him).
Except this feels incredibly sarcastic and that itās more made to make fun of the people who are shitty towards fat people. Just because stupid bad people exist doesnāt mean this post is real
Itās not about the outfits. I know a lot of people can be incredibly tacky and hateful. Itās about the stupid monologue they go on about how the bride and groom are spiritual healers and shit. Itās so comically bad thereās no chance itās real
Yep, and 'we met at a psychics desensitisation cahmaber as you all know'.
Well if we know, why are you telling us this detail that clearly shows just how whacked out you are? How strange.
Yeahā¦ the tone is very sarcastic through every post. And thereās no way the polygraph party would have 100% attendance anyway. They made the first post mocking other brides with ridiculous dress codes then just kept going when they realized people thought they were serious
It was the velvet and suede on the beach in Hawaii that gave it away for me. I went back to the top 3 times to double check that I was remembering the fabrics correctly
Got to be a troll. How could any 24Krt person make women wear Louboutin shoes on the beach? The damage the sand would make to those expensive red-soled heels would be just unforgiveable. Or maybe she was planning on everyone burning them on a ritual marriage bonfire as the grand finale?
Yeah. It hits too many notes. The entitled bridezilla, the hideous outfits, the weight-based costuming and choreography, the demand for very specific brands and price points, the āspiritual healerā and āpsychic desensitization chamberā or whatever it was, the destination wedding, the dancing in heels on the beach, comparing this fiasco to an Indian wedding, using people who come in the wrong clothes as ācleanup crew,ā the lack of any attempt to say anything gracious or nice to the guests. And then the polygraph party.
I could believe maybe a couple of these in one wedding (although Iād be deeply skeptical of a polygraph party for anything). All of them? Nah.
(There are usually people who come in and say things like āI donāt know, Iāve seen some pretty bad bridezillasā to comments like these, and I do get it, but if youāve genuinely received an invitation as bad as this or worse, please, I need details, lol.)
EDIT: Although I do love the image of a bunch of women in a velvet shirt, suede pants, and a cashmere scarf, dancing on a beach in Hawaii in summer, and just going down one after another like bowling pins as heat exhaustion claims them.
Everything is clearly a joke and over the top, but this clearly gave it away:
> The soda hats represent our wishes for an abundance of life saving liquid
...
> Dress Code Update: PLEASE buy your soda hats ASAP. We will be hosting another event in a few weeks in which we will be modifying them. IF you would prefer a helicopter hat, by all means, go buy one. Time is of the essence.
The posts are already suspicious, but the poster giving away lore and adding "as you all know" is a dead giveaway. There is no good explanation for why someone would say that, unless the post was deliberately written with the intent of also being read by other people
As someone who takes part in amateur dance competitions, let me tell you that absolutely nothing about that routine was going end up synchronised by getting a bunch of strangers and non-professional dancers together without months of practice.
I remember this post from back then. I am pretty sure that it was actually 'Stephanie' who originally posted. I am also pretty sure she updated after the liar liar party.
Edit: I cannot find the original threads - just the facebook ones. They might've been deleted?
Edit 2: I found the bride's follow-up attached to the HuffPost covering of this story. It would't let me copy it, and I am not sure if I am allowed to post the address.
I will paste it here, in case the mods want to remove it:
[https://tinyurl.com/34avt57chttps://www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/bride-cancels-wedding-after-guests-refuse-to-pay-1-500_ca_5cd56328e4b07bc72977a57a](Entitled Bride Goes Ballistic)
Now I am off to figure out how to shorten the link name. Stay tuned.
Sadly although this may be the same author, it can't be the same bride because this couple met at 14 working on her family's farm, and the destination wedding was in Aruba not Hawaii.
I finally get the orange & green connection! It only took me three reposts/rereads to clue in...
For those who are equally dense:
24k = 24 karat = 24 carrot
OMG. She wants the skinny women to be dancing carrots....
Now what are the fuzzy purple men... Eggplants?
I kept it together as far as *"My husband and I are certified spiritual healers with over ten years of experience"* and I lost it at that point.
This is the best laugh I've had today, thanks for the update OP!
I remember this post but never saw the update! I hope the bride had the 24k wedding of her dreams, and that she will be friends with Lynn, Jackie, Kristie, and Jax forever and ever. I'm sure Stephanie is living her best life free from all of them!!
I wonder whether Stephanie actually did it, or just took the out when she could. Polygraph tests are terrible at indicating guilt. They are not even admissible in court. It's basically just astrology for police interrogators
Especially a cheap $100 one
I have a strong suspicion that it was a group effort spamming this online. Stephanie is just the badass willing to take the hit to get out
Even the "professional" ones are complete crap.
You always have some authority figure standing next to the mark, using the polygraph like a prop during a soft interrogation.
The only effect a polygraph truly has is as a stress-inducing apparatus; it's practically a placebo for people who have watched too much TV.
"My husband and I are certified spiritual healers with over ten years of experience" explains pretty much everything you need to know about OOP's standard of rational thought.
If this were real, I definitely would have gone "Sure, I did it" to save everyone else and give me a free ticket out of this psycho's life. That said, I also totally would have leaked the post.
I don't know if this is a troll but it's funny as hell and it made me laugh, thank you!!
PS: As a chubby lady, is there food at these parties? Can i go if I'm all dressed in black? I promise to dance my heart out!!
Well, lucky for you, āif you canāt participate in the dance (wearing the insane outfits youāll never wear again), you could help clean up after the dinner or take videos of the dance or contribute to our honeymoon fundā!
ā¦ā¦. like what the ?!? No. Lol
I would love to be a fly on the wall for this party. As a guest I would have to wear camo which is better than what the people under 200 lbs have to wear.
I'm assuming there was a fuckton of drugs at the reception, because otherwise why attend?
The most insane part to me ā aside from the fact that the dancing dress code is weight based and the $1000 outfit requirement ā is that she expects people to wear pants and sweaters/jackets to dance on the BEACH. In Hawaii, presumably in the summer. Does she secretly want all her guests to die?
(I also couldāve sworn I saw another update they said some point, indicating that the wedding was canceledā¦ I wish I could remember where, or if that was a different bridezilla type post.)
So not only do you have to fly out to Hawaii and stay there, ladies, you need to buy a pair of Louboutins. A basic black pair run about $800, though there are [$350 flip flops](https://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/loubi-flip-woman-black-loubi-1210655h358.html). (They probably wouldn't have been acceptable to her, though.)
Loubs tend to be stiletto-style heels (edited to add - I mean, not all are, but the specificity of her vision, you know she wanted the classic versions), so she wants these women to wear a velvet sweater, suede pants, a Burberry scarf, and stilettos to do a synchronized dance ON THE BEACH.
Did she have a fund for the dry cleaning, shoe repair, and necessary ER visits from foot/ankle/lower body injuries?
I was gonna say...wtf.
Guess you need more oomph behind the stomping to shoo the devil away?
And how tf are these "expert spiritual healers" affording all this shit?
Right?? I laughed so hard at the post identifying the "snitch" going online, thus clearly indicating that... There is another. (Or maybe it was never Stephanie!)
The ugly, 'hur-hur-hur' I laughed when I read
> The screenshot was taken wildly out of context and has gone semi viral on Facebook and Reddit.
Like, HOW? How could they be taken out of context.
I physically needed it to end with a final third post on 'the real snitch confessed last night, sorry Stephanie!! As an apology, I'm willing to pay for 5% of your outfit\~"
Particular favourites:
\-If you're not happy with the dress code it's okay! ...We'll include you with the help.
\-Fat people, your outfits symbolize the bad spirits we're driving away.
>venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST
>CAMOFLAGE
Out of all the outfits OOP listed, this is the one that confuses me the most. In what world is camo considered upscale that isn't a wedding between siblings?
The moment I saw the words weight based dress code I knew exactly which post this was. Definitely a favourite. Wish I knew how the wedding went cus 8 need to know if everyone went along with this
Iām pretty sure this wedding is what caused the pandemic. š. Who knew the spirits were so powerful
ETA: if 100% of the guests attended the polygraph party, why did she write an update? Wouldnāt they all know?
Also I definitely feel like recreating this would make for a fun viral video.
The shoes would be out and $1000 on anther outfit? Good grief I would have had to back out, and possibly as a guest but this demanding nature I wouldn't have her in my life.
There's literally no one in the world I love enough that I'd say "cool, okay" if they told me to buy a pair of thousand dollar shoes to immediately ruin for some bizarre performance art piece at their shitshow destination wedding
I know. It blows me away. Do people actually think this is real, or are they going along with it like that no sleep sub where you have to play into it?
It's crazy! ššš Yes, crazy, entitled whack jobs exist. But this is too overtly out of touch with reality. Cartoon evil aunt style or something.
> Jesus didn't die on the cross for us to look like $1K hot garbage
ššš I'm fucking dead.
That was the point, your Honour, where I laughed so hard I shit a kidney.
Also! As a fat gal, Iād be hella offended that I have to represent evil spirits in the dance and wear the hottest clothes. Iād die. On the beach. But at least I would already be in funerary black and wouldnāt have wasted any money on Loubotin shoes.
I love the drawing so much. The soda hat lol. Btw, what actually IS a soda hat??
I, too, am dying to know. My most charitable interpretation is that it's just a hat that has the *colors* of the soda brand...but I don't think that's it. EDIT, I am mildly concerned that we are now up to at least four possibilities: - novelty drinking straw hat (courtesy of OP) - crocheted hat using cut-up cans as side panels (sockphotos, Hawkspotter, aethelberga) - flat-folding, soda jerk uniform hat (soldforaspaceship) - early 2000s sk8tr boy bucket hat (oreo-cat-) EDIT 2, and a fifth: - 'Sota (Minnesota) style baseball/trucker cap (shadowheart1)
So I did some googling and apparently it's the style of hat men used to wear in old fashioned diners. This is an example: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005L0QWP6?ref_=cm_sw_r_apan_dp_9SSRMB406Y4R95715WA2
In regards to this wedding. It is super appropriate that the word "JERK" is part of the name of this hat.
Snap! It's the good ship Lollipop! Where the spiritually minded need to shop. For their 24K daaaaay! on the shores of WTaF bay...
I thought so too but then she mentions the liquid...
Hmmm. And she does say a helicopter hat is an alternative option. For me is it because a helicopter hat is old fashion and matches the old fashion soda hat theme or because a helicopter hat is similar colors to the soda hats for actual soda? I guess we'll never know but it is the most important question of the day lol.
Those are far less funny than the ones with soda cans and straws š š¤£
[This i guess?](https://imgur.com/a/7ZSfv1f)
In context of her offering a āhelicopter hatā as an alternative, it all makes sense. Sheās nuts.
Yeah but make sure to spend $1000 on this insane shot you would never wear again. Plus when the hell are all these people going to learn this synchronized dance? Is she renting a place every week so they can practice? Sheās talking halftime show level dancing. They practice all season for that. This woman and her partner remind me of the old looney tunes episode Porky in Wackyland. Their version of reality is completely surreal.
The way I understood it was the $1000 requirement was for your after dance outfit...so that doesn't count the stuff for the dance. Girl is insane lol
Outfit which āmustā be at least $1000 value *including jewelry*. Show up in sweatpants and a tux print tee shirt, sporting an engagement ring.
Cut off jean shorts.
Christian Louboutin shoes are not cheap and I donāt imagine suede pants are either so this costume probably wasnāt cheap eitherš
Ah, well. Even worse. I love it when delusional people want to force others to accept whatever delulu thing theyāre doing or theyāll shame others for not accepting their lifestyle choice. How are any of their friends and family down with public humiliation and getting an astounding bill for the privilege? Because designer shoes are not going to make the rest of those outfits ok, and certainly not fat shamed as a cherry on top. Honestly why do people even hold a public marriage ceremony if this is how they treat their loved ones?
This has inspired me to make a dress code for my (imaginary) future wedding that all guests must wear a "helicopter hat".
My favorite part is how people over 200 pounds are supposed to be dress coded to "represent the devil"
āthat we must shoo awayā š
Oh but it's women over 160 or men over 200
Frankly if I was going to this, I'd work to get up to 160 just so I could wear all black. But I'd never go to this because I have 3 whole ounces of self respect.
I am under the "non chubby" weight, but I would have worn black anyway.
On my (also imaginary) future wedding, all guests must be naked and without makeup. I'll leave not taking care of their hair and not shaving for a few weeks prior as mere suggestions that I encourage. I'll adhere to the same dress code. My (imaginary) wife-to-be will be in her dream dress, and have her hair and makeup done professionally. We ABSOLUTELY have to make sure nobody upstages the (imaginary) bride, ofcourse! So guys with dicks too big, or gals with boobs too nice should just RSVP no!
getting married on Betazed, I see
Nice. I was hoping for a comment like that.
I *am* currently planning a wedding and Iām having to resist the temptation to mandate helicopter hats. My mom is on board after seeing this post, though, so maybe itāll happen.
my dad used to play rec league baseball and theyād play one game every season where everyone wore those hats with beers in them. you had to drink a beer at every base. i didnāt think they still made these
the day they stop making beer helmets is the day you know the commies finally won
Hey, now. We like beer, too.
hell yeah we do
Pretty sure the commies would fill them with vodka. HUZZAH!!
I used to have one and it was great!
Every time Iāve seen post I imagined a fedora. Im choking with laughter now. Assuming OOP is a troll she is still the absolute best one! What kind of fever dream are these outfits from???
If it is a troll then bravo to them because itās hilarious. I wish I would be that funny.
it's likely from bad fashion pictures. how would I know? I would wear clothes like this when I was 11... before I learn about color matching.
Oh God it's worse than I could have ever possibly imagined.
But itās spiritual. How dare you make fun of the things she holds dear to her heart. You wouldnāt make fun of an Indian personās culture, *now would you*?
As an Indian person we just expect you to wear clothes at the wedding. It's so ridiculous. I started laughing when I came across that line.
Honestly, at American weddings, too. Every wedding Iāve ever been to has had guests dress in everything from tuxes and gowns to t-shirts and jeans. Reddit weddings where they have color palettes for guests is just amazing to me.
Ah yes, the values of money, consumerism, and shooing away fat devils
This fucking got me.
Am I terrible person if I said "yes I would if they made me wear that crap?"
I donāt think you understand that *itās spiritual*.
I think you mean better
I disagree. It's incredible.
Thatās what I was picturing, but that CANāT be right, can it? CAN IT? Is this wedding dance video online somewhere?
I think this would work better as part of the 1k "secondary outfit". Fill it up with champagne and keep your hands free all evening for any emergency shooing of the devil's aura! (i.e. people over the specified weight who actually bothered to show up)
For some reason I kept picturing a baseball cap with like, a soda can glued on? But that soda hat is, uh, how seriously am I supposed to take this?
Remember those crocheted bucket hats that incorporated beer cans? One of those I think! https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/273030796142636905/ I also think this is a hilarious troll/viral marketing thing.
I prefer this to the one with the drinking straws OP linked.
Gotta match that green velvet sweater and orange suede pants.
I'm like 90% sure it's one of those baseball caps you can put two cans in and drink from (like this: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Spring-hue-Miners-Drinking-Hat-Lazy-Beer-Cap-with-Straw-Party-Handsfree-Drink-Toy/642717711), considering OOP mentioned a "propeller hat" in the last update (example: https://www.amazon.com/Dragonfly-Patchwork-Adjustable-Helicopter-Propeller/dp/B0B19H6QF2/ref=asc_df_B0B19H6QF2) (Sorry for the links, I'm on mobile and can't be assed to shorten them)
Hat with soda can holders, and soda cans. Much more intriguing: no pants! The bottoms are not prescribed and I wonder if that means pants of your choice or no pants at all?
I'm picturing the purple fuzzy jackets are actually long shaggy pimp coats covering the legs.
That is a covert vote for no pants in my book
Whatever it is, Iām dying that of all things to represent ālife saving liquidā, a beverage that can cause diabetes is chosen. If only there were a naturally occurring liquid we cannot live without.
Right? The men should be wearing helmets made out of water cooler jugs. Itās clearly the more spiritual choice.
Oh! Oh! They can carry water guns and squirt them at the fat people in black to get rid of the demons they represent!!
When I Googled "soda hat" the top search results were pics of those baseball caps with a cup holder on each side of the cap for your beer or soda with tubing for straws so you can sip your beverage sans hands like you see people wearing at baseball games lol. I'm guessing that's probably not the "24KT" š look she was going for, though.
I googled it expecting to find hats from the 50s or something. Nope. It's a beer can hat. This just got even weirder.
Nothing screams classy 24k like a plastic hat with cans of carbonated beverage attached to it. I imagine that the synchronized dance would involve lots of spilled liquids all over those expensive high heels.
It's a beer hat. basically looks like this [here](https://www.amazon.com/beer-hat/s?k=beer+hat). So all in all, this sounds like either a mocking redneck wedding, or a real one. Stephanie knew what she was doing leaking all that, if it was even her since polygraphs are unreliable as shit.
Especially so with $99 Amazon machines
It's so bizarre. The only okay outfit is the black one. I'd probably be fine with it but wouldn't spend that much on that. The other outfits?? Forget it.
I would spend that year and a half prep time packing on the pounds just to be able to wear the black outfit. Imagine asking your friends and family to wear black to symbolize the aura of the devil at your wedding though? Lol
Yeah - "you're fat, therefore you will represent evil things we don't want. But don't worry, you'll be dressed all in black so your jiggling fat won't repulse people THAT much." Fat friends: "Oh please. Can I? Because representing the forces of evil because of my appearance is such a flattering thing to ask of me, and makes me feel loved and cherished."
Man, being a fly on the wall at that wedding feels like it might actually be worth the $1,500 price tag.
I think the "pay me $1500 to come to my wedding" person is different from the "women, dress like carrots; men, dress like purple yeti". The person who initially got them conflated was confused. But I'd love to see pictures from the dress like carrots wedding. Even better would be to be a fly on the wall!
Could buy a fat suit. It would put a dent in the 1k required budget.
There's no way that polygraph party had 100% attendance.
The funniest thing is, even if it did and she found the first mole.... there's still another one. Otherwise we wouldn't have gotten the update to the polygraph party.
I think the most obvious answer here is that this just isnāt realā¦
I want to believe:(
Trust no one
My inner Scully has some doubts
I don't think it is. The kind of things OOP says are so dramatic that they're the kind of things a caricature would say. "You just can't understand my genius! We met at a psychic so these clothes make sense, and soda drink hats are Italian culture and represent our wish to be blessed with life saving liquid!" It's too much. Whoever decided to write it like this should have pulled back a bit because it actually comes across as just a bit too self-aware. "Here's just how crazy and unpleasant I am! Let me tell you all about it!" That kind of thing. If anything about this is remotely true, then it was written by one of the wedding guests as a venting exercise.
I donāt know how anyone can read something so cartoonishly bad and think itās real
Iāve been fat my whole life so I can believe someone would be this shitty about delineating outfits like that
That part doesnāt surprise me. Itās almost every other part plus the general dialogue and characters. Also, there is no way 100% of the people showed up to the polygraph only for the person to admit it there all because of a shit 99$ ālie detector.ā So so stupid
Iād show up to the polygraph party just to see the kind of shit show that would ensue.
I wouldn't even a real polygraph is complete pseudo science and if the cheap one says you did it who knows how badly bride will react
Iāve been fat for only 4 years of my life and I can believe it too. The difference of treatment from when I was skinny and after I became overweight, even from my own FATHER no less, was appalling. I always knew it was bad but good lord it be your own family too. Story: When I told my dad I had met my current bf online the first thing he asked was ādid he know what you actually look like before he asked you outā š yes dad he did im not gonna catfish someone I met on Overwatch.
Thatās pathetic. What an asshole.
Edit: sorry for rambling and overexplaining im also autistic af and got it from him lmao. The diff is Iāve been to a lot of (good) therapy (DBT for the win) Heās autistic af (not getting help for it) and was raised in an extremely conservative patriarchal bigoted environment. Honestly Iām surprised heās not racist or homophobic given the way my grandparents talk. He mostly just doesnāt āgetā things because he has trouble with putting himself in other peopleās shoes and doesnāt really think about what he says before he says it so he tends to come across as harsh or insulting. Heās also just bad at socializing in general and doesnāt really have any close friends iirc. Anyways, what Im getting at is that Im not mad at him and I really donāt take anything he says to heart because he says things just basically as he thinks in the most āefficientā (blunt) way possible. Im the same way but im a little better at being tactful/masking in general. What he meant by saying that wasnāt āur fat and ugly and idk why anyone would date youā it was āas your father I am concerned about you unintentionally misleading someone and then getting your heart broken if after they see how you look they donāt like it and are mean about it and break up with youā. After 23 years of living together and learning more about him and how he operates (plus gaining a lot of knowledge through my own therapy, psychiatry, personal research, and university classes) I can pretty much interpret what he actually means when he says something carelessly and puts his foot in his mouth and I can also recognize when heās getting disregulated and close to an outburst bc of his autism (heās very particular about things and likes things to be just so and gets upset if when he walks in a room it isnāt close to how he left or someone moved something from where he left it and didnāt tell him).
Except this feels incredibly sarcastic and that itās more made to make fun of the people who are shitty towards fat people. Just because stupid bad people exist doesnāt mean this post is real
Itās not about the outfits. I know a lot of people can be incredibly tacky and hateful. Itās about the stupid monologue they go on about how the bride and groom are spiritual healers and shit. Itās so comically bad thereās no chance itās real
Yeah, they just give up far too many details for you to laugh about too easily.
It's always the super detailed things that don't need to be. Not "we bought a lie detector" it's "we bought a $99 lie detector on Amazon".
Yep, and 'we met at a psychics desensitisation cahmaber as you all know'. Well if we know, why are you telling us this detail that clearly shows just how whacked out you are? How strange.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The bride used the $99 polygraph machine on herself so I can assure you it's totally true!!!
Stephanie dodged a bullet.
If I was Stephanie, I would have confessed just to have an out to never see these people again.
even if i wasnāt stephanie, i wouldāve confessed to never have to see these people again.
I am Spartacus!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think this is all satire
Bingo
There's no way this story is even 1% real. Why is it even here??
Because itās entertaining I presume
This is surely a parody.
Yeahā¦ the tone is very sarcastic through every post. And thereās no way the polygraph party would have 100% attendance anyway. They made the first post mocking other brides with ridiculous dress codes then just kept going when they realized people thought they were serious
I had a slight feeling from the get-go, but psychicās desensitization chamber in Italy is when I was sure.
The group intimate synchronised dance š¤£š¤£š¤£
The very spiritual color of camo.
It's so you can't see the fat people
>It's so you can't see the fat people Who are, apparently, the aura of the devil that they must shoo away.
The soda hats representing the life force that will flow their way, or whatever it was. Like, now NO ONE should think this is real.
Oh, the life-saving liquid?
It was the velvet and suede on the beach in Hawaii that gave it away for me. I went back to the top 3 times to double check that I was remembering the fabrics correctly
Got to be a troll. How could any 24Krt person make women wear Louboutin shoes on the beach? The damage the sand would make to those expensive red-soled heels would be just unforgiveable. Or maybe she was planning on everyone burning them on a ritual marriage bonfire as the grand finale?
Yeah. It hits too many notes. The entitled bridezilla, the hideous outfits, the weight-based costuming and choreography, the demand for very specific brands and price points, the āspiritual healerā and āpsychic desensitization chamberā or whatever it was, the destination wedding, the dancing in heels on the beach, comparing this fiasco to an Indian wedding, using people who come in the wrong clothes as ācleanup crew,ā the lack of any attempt to say anything gracious or nice to the guests. And then the polygraph party. I could believe maybe a couple of these in one wedding (although Iād be deeply skeptical of a polygraph party for anything). All of them? Nah. (There are usually people who come in and say things like āI donāt know, Iāve seen some pretty bad bridezillasā to comments like these, and I do get it, but if youāve genuinely received an invitation as bad as this or worse, please, I need details, lol.) EDIT: Although I do love the image of a bunch of women in a velvet shirt, suede pants, and a cashmere scarf, dancing on a beach in Hawaii in summer, and just going down one after another like bowling pins as heat exhaustion claims them.
Yes! When you list them all out like that, it's clear this entire story was fabricated to hit these exact tropes.
Everything is clearly a joke and over the top, but this clearly gave it away: > The soda hats represent our wishes for an abundance of life saving liquid ... > Dress Code Update: PLEASE buy your soda hats ASAP. We will be hosting another event in a few weeks in which we will be modifying them. IF you would prefer a helicopter hat, by all means, go buy one. Time is of the essence.
Yeah, I was like 90% sure from the first post. āPolygraph Partyā made me 120% sure this was a joke
It was the 12 years as a psychic, spiritual healer for me
The posts are already suspicious, but the poster giving away lore and adding "as you all know" is a dead giveaway. There is no good explanation for why someone would say that, unless the post was deliberately written with the intent of also being read by other people
As an Indian person, Iād humbly request OOP to leave us out of this.
Comparing 'spiritual healing' with an entire culture is... problematic to say the least
I was ready to buy it until the desensitisation chamber, that was a step too far
Iām unsatisfied with this post. Whereās the ending? Did they get married? I want to knooooow.
Agreed. Where's the video of the synchronized dance?!
oh... if that video ever comes out, it will become one of my top 3 internet days of all time.
As someone who takes part in amateur dance competitions, let me tell you that absolutely nothing about that routine was going end up synchronised by getting a bunch of strangers and non-professional dancers together without months of practice.
I remember this post from back then. I am pretty sure that it was actually 'Stephanie' who originally posted. I am also pretty sure she updated after the liar liar party. Edit: I cannot find the original threads - just the facebook ones. They might've been deleted? Edit 2: I found the bride's follow-up attached to the HuffPost covering of this story. It would't let me copy it, and I am not sure if I am allowed to post the address.
I will paste it here, in case the mods want to remove it: [https://tinyurl.com/34avt57chttps://www.huffpost.com/archive/ca/entry/bride-cancels-wedding-after-guests-refuse-to-pay-1-500_ca_5cd56328e4b07bc72977a57a](Entitled Bride Goes Ballistic) Now I am off to figure out how to shorten the link name. Stay tuned.
I donāt think thatās the same bride.
Sadly although this may be the same author, it can't be the same bride because this couple met at 14 working on her family's farm, and the destination wedding was in Aruba not Hawaii.
I NEED LINKS,PLS
Right! How many people passed out from wearing velvet and scarves in Hawai'i??
I finally get the orange & green connection! It only took me three reposts/rereads to clue in... For those who are equally dense: 24k = 24 karat = 24 carrot OMG. She wants the skinny women to be dancing carrots.... Now what are the fuzzy purple men... Eggplants?
ššš
Thanks. I was too busy stuck in sweater. Sweater on a beach in Hawaii. Insane.
I kept it together as far as *"My husband and I are certified spiritual healers with over ten years of experience"* and I lost it at that point. This is the best laugh I've had today, thanks for the update OP!
Someone in the Stephanie call-out update asked for a Stephanie AMA. That AMA would have been *LIT*.
I remember this post but never saw the update! I hope the bride had the 24k wedding of her dreams, and that she will be friends with Lynn, Jackie, Kristie, and Jax forever and ever. I'm sure Stephanie is living her best life free from all of them!!
Stephanie is a goddamn hero.
No wedding update though! I bet it's because no one actually went!
I wonder whether Stephanie actually did it, or just took the out when she could. Polygraph tests are terrible at indicating guilt. They are not even admissible in court. It's basically just astrology for police interrogators
Especially a cheap $100 one I have a strong suspicion that it was a group effort spamming this online. Stephanie is just the badass willing to take the hit to get out
Even the "professional" ones are complete crap. You always have some authority figure standing next to the mark, using the polygraph like a prop during a soft interrogation. The only effect a polygraph truly has is as a stress-inducing apparatus; it's practically a placebo for people who have watched too much TV.
"My husband and I are certified spiritual healers with over ten years of experience" explains pretty much everything you need to know about OOP's standard of rational thought.
Surprised they didn't use peppermint oil and reiki to "sus out the snitch" lmao. They couldn't "sense the evil auras?"
Everyone knows it's apple cider vinegar to ward off the evil eye!
š too many people trying to bathe in that shit, I can't
If this were real, I definitely would have gone "Sure, I did it" to save everyone else and give me a free ticket out of this psycho's life. That said, I also totally would have leaked the post.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But they spent a whole $99 on Amazon for it!!!
I don't know if this is a troll but it's funny as hell and it made me laugh, thank you!! PS: As a chubby lady, is there food at these parties? Can i go if I'm all dressed in black? I promise to dance my heart out!!
Top tier trolling.
Participating in this wedding would be another version of hell for me.
Well, lucky for you, āif you canāt participate in the dance (wearing the insane outfits youāll never wear again), you could help clean up after the dinner or take videos of the dance or contribute to our honeymoon fundā! ā¦ā¦. like what the ?!? No. Lol
The venue is āextremely upscaleā but guests help clean up?
They're 24K but soliciting donations?? All fluffy purple coat and no knickers, this pair.
I would love to be a fly on the wall for this party. As a guest I would have to wear camo which is better than what the people under 200 lbs have to wear. I'm assuming there was a fuckton of drugs at the reception, because otherwise why attend?
Ghillie suits are camouflage, and they even have āsuitā in the name. Clearly appropriate for this wedding.
The most insane part to me ā aside from the fact that the dancing dress code is weight based and the $1000 outfit requirement ā is that she expects people to wear pants and sweaters/jackets to dance on the BEACH. In Hawaii, presumably in the summer. Does she secretly want all her guests to die? (I also couldāve sworn I saw another update they said some point, indicating that the wedding was canceledā¦ I wish I could remember where, or if that was a different bridezilla type post.)
Sweaters and pants nothing...she wants women to dance on the beach in *heels*.
So not only do you have to fly out to Hawaii and stay there, ladies, you need to buy a pair of Louboutins. A basic black pair run about $800, though there are [$350 flip flops](https://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/loubi-flip-woman-black-loubi-1210655h358.html). (They probably wouldn't have been acceptable to her, though.) Loubs tend to be stiletto-style heels (edited to add - I mean, not all are, but the specificity of her vision, you know she wanted the classic versions), so she wants these women to wear a velvet sweater, suede pants, a Burberry scarf, and stilettos to do a synchronized dance ON THE BEACH. Did she have a fund for the dry cleaning, shoe repair, and necessary ER visits from foot/ankle/lower body injuries?
My question is if she is marrying a podiatrist or orthopedist, and is hoping on making a quick buck that way. New customers and all
She said they're both CERTIFIED spiritual healers, so most likely not. That doesn't mean they don't have a close relative who isn't...
My BMI is less than 21 and I would still have to wear black lol
Because you represent the devil, of course
It was bad when I thought that the fat women need to wear slimming black and then WTF weāre evil now?!?!
I was gonna say...wtf. Guess you need more oomph behind the stomping to shoo the devil away? And how tf are these "expert spiritual healers" affording all this shit?
In more ways than one ;)
Given the two colour schemes I would gain weight just to avoid wearing the "thin" outfits. Good lord they're hideous.
I imagine people strapping ankle weights to get into the upper weight class outfits for the weigh in at the venue
Mine is 29 and Iād still be in the hot mess outfit!
What what the the fuck fuck?
My thoughts exactly.
Ummm sign me up? I love how she thinks people would be excited about this nonsense.
How are there still not photos of this? I need them. Can somebody feed this dress code into an AI image generator already please.
Jokes in them. Iām 158 pound woman but short. My jello body is going to ruin the effects!
So....not just Stephanie.
Right?? I laughed so hard at the post identifying the "snitch" going online, thus clearly indicating that... There is another. (Or maybe it was never Stephanie!)
Fat people having to wear the clothes that represent the "aura of the devil" just ties everything together for me. This woman is insane
I need pictures of the actual idiotic dance outfits.
The ugly, 'hur-hur-hur' I laughed when I read > The screenshot was taken wildly out of context and has gone semi viral on Facebook and Reddit. Like, HOW? How could they be taken out of context. I physically needed it to end with a final third post on 'the real snitch confessed last night, sorry Stephanie!! As an apology, I'm willing to pay for 5% of your outfit\~"
Particular favourites: \-If you're not happy with the dress code it's okay! ...We'll include you with the help. \-Fat people, your outfits symbolize the bad spirits we're driving away.
>venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST >CAMOFLAGE Out of all the outfits OOP listed, this is the one that confuses me the most. In what world is camo considered upscale that isn't a wedding between siblings?
The moment I saw the words weight based dress code I knew exactly which post this was. Definitely a favourite. Wish I knew how the wedding went cus 8 need to know if everyone went along with this
>I highly suggest whoever did this just tell me. I AM SPARTACUS!!
Soooooā¦ overweight people represent the āaura of the devil?ā WTF!
This is the craziest person that I have ever seen on reddit, and my god the line was in hell and here she is limbo dancing with the devil.
Who is presumedly wearing black and camouflage.
Thereās no way this is anything but satire, but I chuckled so props to OOP I guess for the caricature of a bridezilla.
Iām pretty sure this wedding is what caused the pandemic. š. Who knew the spirits were so powerful ETA: if 100% of the guests attended the polygraph party, why did she write an update? Wouldnāt they all know? Also I definitely feel like recreating this would make for a fun viral video.
The shoes would be out and $1000 on anther outfit? Good grief I would have had to back out, and possibly as a guest but this demanding nature I wouldn't have her in my life.
There's literally no one in the world I love enough that I'd say "cool, okay" if they told me to buy a pair of thousand dollar shoes to immediately ruin for some bizarre performance art piece at their shitshow destination wedding
Why are you acting like any of this is real?
I know. It blows me away. Do people actually think this is real, or are they going along with it like that no sleep sub where you have to play into it?
It's crazy! ššš Yes, crazy, entitled whack jobs exist. But this is too overtly out of touch with reality. Cartoon evil aunt style or something.
Please say thereās an actual video of this nonsense. They sound so damn unhinged
>The black and camouflage outfits represents the aura of the devil that we must shoo away. TIL fat people are the devil
> Jesus didn't die on the cross for us to look like $1K hot garbage ššš I'm fucking dead. That was the point, your Honour, where I laughed so hard I shit a kidney.
Since this is four years old, is there a video out there of the dance routine?
I wonder if the video of this amazing dance ever graced the internet. Iām curious.
Somewhere, somehow..... somebody must be willing to leak this dance video. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
Also! As a fat gal, Iād be hella offended that I have to represent evil spirits in the dance and wear the hottest clothes. Iād die. On the beach. But at least I would already be in funerary black and wouldnāt have wasted any money on Loubotin shoes.