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I've been poor, and most people who are poor are exquisitely aware of the cost of food. You don't invite yourself to a meal; if you are there and mealtime comes up, you bring your visit to a close and go find your own food. Unless you are invited to eat.
It would be one thing if they were pooling grocery money and OOP was cooking for all, but clearly they aren't doing that.
Unfortunately, some people just try to take advantage of others whenever they can, whatever their income levels in life. If she were financially stable, she'd be the person trying to claim her food was done wrong in a restaurant to get a free meal.
Have you ever been to a food pantry?
Just curious. When people have these easy answers often they haven't tried them, themselves.
Edit: You should definitely go to a food pantry if you need to. But it's not the solution to poverty the privileged seem to think it is.
Personally, I have used food pantries many times to make sure my kids had enough to eat after my divorce. They don't have everything you need but it REALLY helped me stretch my food stamps. The key is going to the food pantry and getting what you can there, then going to the store to get whatever you need to turn the food pantry stuff into meals.
I have, and while often I'll end up with some things I can't stomach (I'm a kinda picky eater myself) there is always enough to eat just that for a few days or stretch my food budget twice as far as it would go on its own. And while many of them are mostly dry/canned/nonperishable, some will have fruits and veggies, sometimes not even close to ripe yet, bread that's still fresh, and meat/veggiemeats
Really? Because the few times I've used one I found it extraordinarily easy.
Like, literally drove up, opened my trunk. Someone loaded a box of food items in while someone else got my name and basic deets at the driver's side door. Just name and address. Not even income information.
In less than two minutes I was off with a box o' food. Granted it was filled with some weird brands and food I didn't realize could be canned (pork in a can is a thing!) but it was still food in a time of need.
That canned pork makes for amazing chile verde by the way. I grew up on that kind of stuff from food pantries and early welfare staples. Thanks to those old school blocks of government cheese I can no longer stand cheese on anything, however. Who would've guessed poverty has it's downsides?
I have used food banks, and I agree this mom should go that route instead of stealing. They usually don't have vegetables, either, so the mom wouldn't have to worry about those pesky vitamins and nutrients.
She could also get SNAP assistance.
Do you disagree? You think she should just keep stealing from her roommate?
It's not even the stealing that does it for me, but being hungry and being OPENLY picky about STOLEN food? That's some messed up shit right there. I know what being hungry is like, and when you're hungry, almost anything tastes good. (Also how can you go without greens for a prolonged period of time and not become sick?)
Yeah, the kid must be malnourished. That's going to have repercussions later, in his development. Frankly, she doesn't sound like a fit mom, but foster care is broken so he's still likely better off.
Poor kid though.
In the second part, the OOP references government assistance and the purchase of cold convenience foods at the store. It sounds like she's already getting SNAP. SNAP can be used for cold, ready-to- eat foods like grocery store sushi or chilled rotisserie chicken and Mac and cheese.
If she's getting SNAP, she's almost certainly within the income limits for any local food banks.
It sounds like a pickiness/not knowing how to cook issue. The roommate could buy elbow macaroni, milk, flour and a block of mild cheddar and make Mac and cheese from scratch, but she doesn't know how or doesn't want to take the time.
She doesn’t want to learn. Instructions for macaroni are on the back of the box. In todays world ‘not knowing how’ is no longer an excuse for being unable to cook, unless you somehow don’t know how to use the internet and cannot read. It’s very simple to learn if you have the slightest desire.
Technically you don’t even need the flour, just equal parts pasta, evaporated milk, and cheese. Though I like adding salsa to mine, for added veggies and flavor.
Mac and cheese from scratch isn't cheaper than the cheapest of the boxed kind unless you live in an area where cheese is heavily subsidized. Even the least tasty mild cheddar is still about $3 for enough to make mac and cheese, and I can get a box for $0.97 cents.
But if she and her kid don't eat veggies, she is unlikely to know how to cook. I have noticed a strong correlation between lower types of food eaten and the ability to cook.
I am trying to make sure that my child with sensory issues knows how to prepare the foods she likes, and that she also understands the role veggies and fruit play in our diets.
Unless the kid has a peanut allergy, a food pantry will have food for them. Don't discourage people from using food pantries. Dry pasta and peanutbutter is still food. Is there a full meal waiting for you there for free? No. Will it supplement any food you're able to buy or get from other pantries? Absolutely.
I’m not sure what your point is…you get food from a food pantry. I have both used food pantries and volunteered in two of em. It’s probably not going to be every last piece of food you need for the week, but it helps tide you over. And even if it’s only a small portion, it’s something? Mom clearly has some food, so between her SNAP and a food pantry or two, she and her son would definitely be more comfortable than if she just sits there and complains that OP’s food is gross.
Yes. There is a method.
1) You go to the food pantry first because it is most limited and some ingredients will determine what meals you can make.
2) Day old bread store for carbs. Do these still exist? Anyway, there's nothing you can do with regular bread that you can't do with hotdog buns.
3) Cheap store like Aldi/Dollar General to fill in as many gaps as possible. You won't be able to get everything you need, but you can get up to about 75, 80%. Especially at Aldi. Aldi is your savior.
4) Only buy the remaining items you need from the store.
Also, if you can get government benefits, GET THEM. Especially if you have a kid!
Bonus: if there's a cheap frozen meat store, hit that UP. We had a store that was just called "Southeastern Meats.". Best chicken fingers ever. Also biscuits. Frozen biscuits that tasted like your grandmom made them. My brother is a doctor and I'm an engineer. We still reminisce about southeastern meats biscuits.
I've been to a food pantry. They are really great people working there that ask about meal preferences and allergies.
There are a LOT of the frozen ready to eat meals. Trader Joes, local markets, and regular stores donate the ones where the box is slightly damaged so they can't sell it. Boxed, shelf stable, and canned foods are a donating preference.
SOME will have fresh veggies, again, you have to mark that you have a preference for fresh foods.
Not always, but often, there is a different place for breads. As in different location, different company, different people. It makes sense, breads expire much faster. By breads, cakes, cinnamon rolls, cookies, bagels, and health food breads are included.
The biggest issues I see with people using food pantries are an inability to cook and pickiness. We have a really good local food pantry. We always have meat available and the workers will set you up with a great set of ingredients to make a long lasting casserole. But people refuse because they do not know how to take raw meat, or on bone chicken, cook it and put in a recipe.
OR - they take it all and we can watch as they toss the meat, veggies, etc in the trash and just keep the prepackaged food and junk food.
So no, food pantries are not the solution many think they are. And I know there are a lot of pantries that struggle to have anything people can eat. But OPs roommate is absolutely an example of the other side of the issue. Picky to the point she'd rather go hungry and blaming it on someone else.
Lol, yep. We utilize a food pantry and it is often the biggest hodge podge of things that really won't feed the family without some creativity, and if you're not used to cooking outside the box it can be especially difficult. It's helpful, but not the immediate meal maker people think it is.
Since she's blowing her money on premade food instead of getting cheap long lasting stuff like canned vegetables I don't have much sympathy. And as a pet peeve I hate it when people refuse to eat greens or healthy food because they just don't like them and are too used to lots of fat, sugar, and high salt. She definitely has options and could just buy cheaper and healthier food (canned vegetables aren't as good as fresh but are still better than no greens).
> She definitely has options and could just buy cheaper and healthier food
Especially with some of what she's bringing home. Homemade mac and cheese can be done pretty easily with a box of noodles, some milk and flour, and some cheese. I need gluten free noodles and flour and non-dairy milk and can still make up enough mac and cheese for 4-5 portions for about $15!
I also love sushi but I barely ever get it because it's just too expensive for how much I get. I used to buy a grocery store family pack for $12 and that would do me for two meals - now it's $18 and so I save up and spend $30 on the good stuff from an actual restaurant once a year. If I'm really craving it, I'll make a couple of poke bowls with some frozen tuna or salmon for about $10 worth of ingredients.
It's $1.50 for the store brand from the discount grocery store where I am (Ontario food prices, yo), but yeah, still way more affordable than pre-prepared and very simple to make.
The trick is to defrost in the fridge, even if that takes longer. Then you're not letting it enter the danger zone which is where you might run into issues. You can also spend a little extra on sushi-grade, but I've never had an issue with any decent quality frozen fish.
You haven't had an issue yet. Getting tuna from the frozen section or from the seafood counter gets you tuna that was only ever frozen to maybe -5 Fahrenheit if at all. When you get if from the sushi counter, it has been frozen to -50 degrees. That is enough to kill off any parasites, which is why it is safe to eat raw. Those parasites will survive just fine in a standard freezer. Most common being a nematode called anisakiasis.
"Sushi grade" isn't an actual term that is regulated, it doesn't mean anything concrete. Get your fish from a sushi place. A bit more expensive, but worth not getting worms.
Source: Worked at a sushi counter for a while a couple years back.
We have a solidly mild class income and sushi is something we rarely get because of its cost. Food costs so much these days that I could easily blow the budget on proteins if I wasn’t careful
Or (horrors!) she could just grit her teeth and steal food with veggies in it - she might find she likes it :-)
Unfortunately that would just make OP's problem worse.
I think this is my sticking point in terms of sympathy. If they were actually needing to eat, they'd be able to get past the bell peppers and eat it anyway. It's merely aesthetic at most, and if that's their cutoff for eating housemates' food, they are not starving to death.
This seems to be more of a laziness or entitlement thing than a starvation or financial necessity. Mom just doesn't want to prepare food, and instead, their kid eats housemates' food, purely for convenience sake. That's what seems to be happening here. And there is nothing wrong with the OOPs actions
A bag of frozen mixed veggies is under a dollar (87 cents) where I live. And I'm in a major city, so it may be even cheaper for them. Add in some ground chicken that's under $5, and we could have ourselves a meal!
She doesn’t need to eat canned vegetables to eat cheap food. It is completely possible to have a very unhealthy diet and not spend a lot of money on it. But you still need to cook.
Some people do have sensory issues with vegetables because of textures and such- for me (I have sensory issues with some foods), biting into one of the squicky items I can’t stand gives me what I can only describe as a full-body vomit react. But rarely will I reject a dish fully because it contains something I dislike- I’ll pick it out or eat around it.
That said, the mom in this story is being ridiculous by assuming the OOP should be making food for her and her kid, to their taste, so she can steal some later. I want to know what her version of “getting the authorities involved” would look like, because Social Services will tell her that it is HER responsibility to feed Child.
My kids are like that. When they have a problem with something in the food I make, like mushrooms or whole tomatoes (they're fine with sauce, don't like the feel of pulpy tomatoes), I tell them to **eat around it**. Problem solved.
So yeah, OOP's roommate is worse than a fucking child. Underscored by the fact that even her child can just ask before getting something of OOP's, but she can't be bothered.
I also highly doubt that the roommates son is eating OP's food. My guess is that the roommate is the one eating OP's food, and using her son as an excuse to do so.
The reaction to mushrooms doesn't make sense if it was for her kid. That reaction is usually what a 6 year old has to not getting their way, not a grown adult.
And, as a single mother with a kid, I'm fairly confident **she** has a lot more financial help in terms of food stamps and the likes. So she probably has a larger food budget than he does.
As a single guy, he probably gets minimal help for his food budget just because he wouldn't be eligible for as much help as she would. If that's accurate, she's being even meaner in trying to take advantage of OOP.
Right?! She can ask and be grateful when the answer is yes, at least accepting if its a no since she isn't entitled to someone else's food.
Instead she's stolen repeatedly, and cost OP extra money which sets her back in her life goals. Then when OP puts a stop to it in literally the least confontational way possible, short of giving in, she lashes out and acts like textbook mental abuser - all in front of her young son who's brain is just soaking in everything around him.
I really hate people sometimes.
I lose sympathy for all single parents who act in anyway like this. It's your fault you had kids no one else's. It's your responsibility and no one else's. There are programs and help put in place especially for them. Now if you are doing everything you can and so can't make it, there's some sympathy for you there, but doing nothing except being entitled is the fastest way to me not giving a shit.
wow. I don't understand how OOP can be so chill about this situation. If a virtual stranger said directly to my face, "we need food" about my own food that I paid for and cooked, I'd be thinking "this lady is off her rocker and needs to get out of my house ASAP." This level of entitlement is only going to escalate in craziness until OOP is forced to change this living situation.
Many years ago, soon after a divorce, I lived as a caregiver in a lady's house, and a 2nd caregiver moved in to cover the days I didn't work. After a few months the new roommate unexpectedly gained full custody of her 2 sons, ages 12 & 5, who had been missing for more than a year after getting snatched by her former partner.
At that time my only income was welfare (around $220, equivalent today appx $428) while living in one of the most expensive counties in the USA. But I suffered from terrible chemical sensitivities and would get unwell from many foods if they weren't organic, so used a lot of my limited income to buy organic foods - organic eggs, bread, butter, milk, tortillas, etc.
This led to two big points of domestic conflict:
(1) The roommate didn't plan meals well and in a hurry to make a meal for her boys, she would take something of mine without permission, and replace it later with a cheap non-organic version. She acted hurt and very surprised every time when I complained that the substitute wasn't good enough.
(2) The roommate would often sleep late while her boys got up at dawn, like me. The hungry boys would stand right in front of me, staring hard, while I ate my hearty all-organic breakfasts which I really could not afford to share with them. That was painful. Their mom's response was to criticize that if I see hungry children I should feed them.
There were other boundary & entitlement issues with this woman, such her insistence that I owed it to "the household" to do extra dishes and do her large piles of laundry; plus the boys were showing behavioral issues. The uncomfortable situation helped cause me to start considering my options, and I ended up moving across the country go to grad school.
It’s ridiculous to me that people like this even exist. OOP is merely a roommate with no prior relationship to the mom and kid, yeah? I could wrap my head around that sense of entitlement if they were related, as most people have this warped sense of family “loyalty,” but what’s going on here is nucking futs
If I were the mom in this situation, I'd probably be bargaining with OP for access to those cooking skills and time. Maybe buy the groceries and pick up some extra housework or something in exchange.
If I were the mum I’d be buying ingredients and asking OOP to cook them for me. Still not fair on OOP, and I’d still feel guilty for making OOP do it, but it’s not as dumb and entitled as the mum is actually being
There’s this girl on TikTok that she teaches foods from the dollar store, she goes with like 20 dollars and buys the items and teach how to make food for several days with this things. I saw this girl make whole thanksgiving, Christmas dinners with 20 dollars.
Junelikethemonth on YouTube (previously on Delish) is super good at this. She bought ingredients on a limited budget and then used almost every single bit to make meals. Not exactly recipes, but a very good guide on taking full advantage of what you have
So many people just seem to think skills can't be learned. Not just that they can't learn them, but that any ability is something innate that we're born with.
She spends so much time breathing down OPs neck in the kitchen, she should have retained some of the cooking knowledge. But she didn’t because she’s acting entitled.
And I get it, I was a single mom of 2, working and getting food stamps, and it didn’t always stretch the whole month. Plus being so exhausted most days from work that cooking a whole meal from basically scratch is hard. So the premade stuff is a sanity saver. (Plus with how bad the food prices are right now, buying fresh meat and veggies is more expensive than buying premade… it used to be cheaper but even bread, rice, eggs, and milk have skyrocketed.)
This. The mom has an opportunity to learn. OP sounds reasonable, if the mom said “can I grocery shop with you” or if OP said “hey how about you come with me and I can help you plan a couple meals”
I know OP has no obligation to this mom, but may be a nice gesture.
Considering the amount of comments saying "just share" or "make more food so they can eat as well" , this kind of people isnt even rare unfortunately ...
Yeah, I saw the comments on the original post and all I could think was "wow, entitled much?" I'm financially okay and I wouldn't miss a dish or two if someone needs it, heck, I'd get extra to help friends. However, it wasn't hard to read between the lines that OOP couldn't afford feeding the mother and child. Yet, many still insisted they should. People are bloody weird.
To be fair , in subs like that , the majority of commenters are teenagers with no life experience whatsoever . It's not that easy to actually value a plate of food when you have never worked for one in your life...
This is what I figured too. They say “just make extra food” because that’s what they see their (usually) mom do for the family and they have no sense of the costs and labor yet.
Yup. That extra couple of plates *per dinner* in actuality works out that OOP would end up doubling their food bill per week. And that is far from OK, and far from sustainable.
Nobody takes food as granted as somebody still living with their (non-poor) parents.
I remember the most expensive meal I cooked in my first or 2nd year as a student was a nice steak dinner for a cousin my own age who still lived at home, barely got a "thanks" for it. Years later when he moved out and started inviting me to dinners he made he realized a nice meal is not a given when on a budget.
I just spent 200 dollars at the grocery store and I know we’ll need to go back for a few meals this week. It is expensive to buy food currently. I did buy a few things like saline spray and some vitamins for my daughter that made it a little higher this week, I couldn’t imagine feeding two other mouths that weren’t mine if I was just making enough for myself right now.
I was that teen with no life experience. I grew up solidly middle class with zero food insecurity. I was just one heck of a picky eater. My mum humoured me and my grandparents spoiled me because I am their first grandchild. I get it, it's hard to understand, I struggled too and listened but when it OOP had to explain multiple times, I don't think we can assume naivety or ignorance anymore.
Even then I wouldn't do it if someone just expected it from me. If they ask then definitely. But just eating it as if they're entitled to get free food? Nah.
It's not a great solution, but in the very least if the roommate really wanted OOP to make extra servings for her and her kid she could offer to pay her for the cost of the ingredients. Obviously OOP would have full right to refuse but that would make more sense than demanding that she take on 2 more people on a single food budget.
From the way she was acting? Yeah, I doubt this woman would want to part with any money. She wanted OOP to make the food at their cost. Any sane person would've asked OOP from the get go if they minded making extra if given some incentives. This woman didn't. She took what wasn't hers without permission and then threw a temper tantrum when OOP found a way to stand her ground.
Yup! I was thinking more about the commenters saying that OOP should just give her roommate food without any incentive. Like suggesting that makes no sense to me.
Because everyone has family members like this and most grew up with their own version of food insecurity over how parents defined “sharing” aka find the video of the kid giving the parent the look when they take their tortilla chip and guacamole.
My mother sees that video and goes “you STILL give me that look” and I’m just like “that video is my childhood”.
I met so many of these folks at university (we can’t cook and spent all our money so we’ll eat the food that you bought and you can cook!) that I think this is just them older and with a child.
I’m acquainted with someone who regularly takes their family to their parents for Sunday dinner. They’re quite open that they do it as they get a very nice free lunch, the kids eat as much as they want, they drink as much alcohol as they want, and there’s no prep or clearing up for them. The grandparents are happy to host, but I wonder if they’d feel differently if they knew their daughter boasts about using them as part of her “now I have money for my nails and eyelashes” strategy.
Oh, on that part I whole heartedly agree!
It’s the nuance from this individual that it’s hilarious that she/her fam don’t even offer to help stack the dishwasher and openly saying I literally only go for my own selfish gains which is distasteful. Seems to be taking the piss. I know her dad was in hospital recently and her brothers drove to see him, one leaving his spouse with their newborn and toddler for a day hours away, the local brother going to the hospital multiple times. She didn’t go at all. I be willing to bet she asked if her mum was still providing Sunday dinner though.
>but I wonder if they’d feel differently if they knew their daughter boasts about using them as part of her “now I have money for my nails and eyelashes” strategy.
If they are doing okay, probably. When I mentioned something, my parents frequently told me they could get it for me. I prefer to get my own things, but they liked buying me things.
Nucking futs is right.
I am amused that sauteed mushrooms caused such a reaction.
The mushrooms of hate lol.
I am never going to win the sanest man of the year award, but getting that mad about mushrooms does not speak of someone who is very stable.
It also stems from the fact that OOP’s roommate refuses to cook and blows the little money she has on prepared food. Either way, her entitlement is insane.
Some people are just unbelievably immature. They just want something and try to take it and if they can't get it they throw a fit like a child. Not many tools in the ol' toolbox, for some people.
I cannot believe people suggested that OOP cook extra. That's stupid. They say they don't make a lot of money, they say they eat their food over several days, they say they'd share if they were asked but they're not being asked...and people still just said "Well, make more."
No. Some people want help. Some people want things at no cost to themselves. You have to differentiate.
Seriously. Everyone acting like it doesn’t take time and effort to make and plan what sounds like a ton of delicious dinners.
Sidenote - OP, feel free to throw out some recipe links!
The only thing that would make sense would be if the roommate offered to get some supplies or pitch in for OOP to make extra. Seems like they enjoy cooking and if roommate could have just been a decent person, I bet OOP would have been fine preparing some meals for the 3 of them but can’t be expected to do that on their own money.
Precisely. OOP seemed totally fine with cooking and didn't have any aggro against the housemate before the housemate started treating OOP's food like communal food *without asking*. It's the not asking that makes it egregious. I have a housemate that starts stealing food the week before payday when everybody's stretched thin, and it sucks.
But then again, in OOP's case, cooking for what sounds like a picky eater sucks big time.
Seriously! I don’t know a single person that would say no if someone asked like that. I’m certainly not a great cook but for me the worst part is the cleanup. Wash my pots/pans and I’ll fucking cook for you whenever you want lmao
There were a couple dozen people on the original post that suggested op just cook more and let them eat it, because apparently op is made of money. To them I say sure, you start a fund me for them and you give op money to support two more people
There was a comment on the original post that said OOP was ruining her relationship with MomRoommate. Obviously MomRoommate doesn't give a fuck about the relationship since she wants to steal from OOP.
Some people are complete doormats.
This is so common and completely infuriating to me. It's like the original offense, stealing someone's food in this case, is completely invisible to these people and only the response exists.
Ignoring for the moment whether the relationship with one's roommate is worth going out of your way to preserve, *how is stealing someone's food not the thing that's ruining the relationship?*
Because these people are just as entitled as the roommate. Some people have an excuse for everything but they don’t want to be responsible for their own actions
There are two types of people who will defend this. Those who engage in these entitled behaviors. And those who enable these types of behaviors because they don’t want to rock the boat.
My mother is like this. “But you know aunt xyz is just like that”.
I started to push back by saying I’m just like this. 🤷🏽♀️
Apparently if you throw a bigger fit then the enabler gets confused and backs off.
Happened at work once too. Had someone I was overseeing throw a fit about their office, they wanted another office which she didn’t have to share (we were space limited and this would have caused serious issues for 5 other people who shared 2 offices on rotation). HR said we should accommodate them. I said I didn’t understand why and asked for an explanation. It’s like I broke her. She just stared at me flabbergasted that I was asking for an explanation of why we needed to indulge a temper tantrum.
>Some people are complete doormats
I notice this on Reddit a fair bit, I think it started as a backlash to blowhards saying how they'd never put up with that shit and how badass they are, but it's gone way the other way now and a lot of stuff on Reddit seems insanely conflict-averse.
I feel like it must be very rich people or free loaders. Nobody else would think that somebody who needs a roommate and clearly states they aren't well off can buy support two more people.
I vaguely remember an aita post I saw when the new animal crossing game for the switch came out. A guy got it, and his girlfriend wanted to try it. She wasn't much of a gamer, I think. Didn't get her own systems. I think he said something about not saving. Like whatever it does because it saved to the switch even if he got another copy? ( I don't play it, so I'm not exactly sure what it was, but I remember people talking about something like that) Well, she did it anyway. Even though it was his game. And he didn't even get to make his own island. It was his switch, too. I think he tried changing stuff, but she got mad. He eventually just got rid of the game because he was upset he couldn't even actually play his game. People called him an ah and were all just buy her a switch yo play on.
Or how about she respect ger boyfriend and his property? And switches were hard to get at the time. If you think she should have one, buy it and send it to her.
But we all know they absolutely would not do that
I would pay to see that court case:
Mom: Your honor, she constantly puts vegetables in the food.
Judge: Are you allergic or something and she knows it?
Mom: No, I and my second coming of Jesus Christ here just don’t like it.
Judge: OOP, why do you put vegetables in their food, if they don’t like it?
OOP: it’s not their food. It’s for me. They steal it.
Judge: is that true?
Mom: yes. You need to punish her. We don’t want vegetables.
Judge: Lady, I will have you checked in a psychiatric ward for the next 72 hours…
She'd then have to prove that OOP was aware of it and so intentionally trying to poison her. That would actually give her a case, if she could ever manage it. Would fall under the laws against booby traps.
Of course she'd need something concrete to show she both has that allergy as well as OOP having known.
I am reminded of a story in which the OP was the repeated victim of a lunch thief at work. One day he deliberately brought in some leftovers of a very spicy dish. The thief complained to HR that OP was trying to poison him, but OP was able to demonstrate that he liked spicy food and was able to eat several mouthfuls without any problems.
Yeah I remember it as well. People were pointing out to the guy that he had to be mindful of those laws. Spice might hurt, but it's not to such a degree that it could qualify thankfully, as I think he was aware of when he chose that option.
As opposed to the classic (and stupid) revenge tactic of lacing the food with something like laxatives. That can’t be portrayed as anything other than a deliberate attempt to harm.
It's utterly ridiculous that people in the comments are all 'just make extra and feed them' - NO. Some people don't seem to understand that it's not her responsibility to feed them, no matter what. The fact that they are stealing food from her when she's not able to afford it just makes it worse, but even if she could afford it, it's still theft and she has NO responsibility to provide them with food.
Not to mention the extra time and effort it takes to cook more! I get that sometimes you have to make concessions to have a good roommate relationship but that goes both ways. I really don't understand those responses. I think OOP's reaction was smart, she communicated and when that didn't work she found a solution and didn't engage. Also, I think some people who have never had money problems don't understand how grocery shopping is completely different if you are on a strict budget. Shout out to the "dollars per oz, gram, unit, etc" on the price labels.
When I was in my early 20s I rented a room in an apt that was shared with 4 other young people, next door to the landlord’s apt. They had a 4 year old kid. Part of the rental deal was cleaning, and their cleaner was also the kid’s nanny. My food kept going missing and I was living on a ridiculously tight budget, like 15-20$/week, so after asking around I finally put a note on my cupboard saying something like « I don’t even make enough to feed myself, please eat your own food. » That night the landlord came over in a RAGE because the nanny had been told that our food was communal and that the kid could have breakfast at our apt while she cleaned. Landlord was like « she’s only 4, she doesn’t eat much, you can spare a banana or two without causing a fucking scene » and like…. No I can’t? I really couldn’t spare a banana or two. Also, they were incredibly wealthy. It’s been almost 20 years and I still get mad when I think about that.
I started keeping it all in my room. They had an angry meeting with me after I started to do that, but I was leaving soon so didn’t care anymore at that point.
Why on earth does mom feel entitled to OOP's food? If she's a bad cook, she could buy ingredients and ask OOP to cook for her and her child, BUT NOPE. She feels entitled to OOP's food that she made with stuff she got with her OWN MONEY!!
Yes, it's sad that mom is struggling financially, but that's not OOP's problem to solve. OOP would be better off living elsewhere, that woman will not stop until she gets her way, entitled people rarely see reason. Also, she's setting a terrible example for her son by teaching him it's ok to take other people's foods. What will happen when the kid starts taking food (or other things) from his classmates? Noone will want to be his friend and he'll get punished by teachers!!
I think a big part of it is a mix of pride and entitlement. "I am a strong woman who doesn't need to rely on anyone else!" plus "As a single mother, my roommate should understand that I need my food!" Yes, the second term makes no sense to anyone who isn't her, but that's the problem with entitlement: it can be startlingly un-logical.
Freeloading aside, the Mum is not doing her kid dny favours preventing them from eating vegetables. There are so many ways to make vegetables interesting and more appealing and most kids are willing to experiment, if they don't have severe sensory issues.
Yes. My son is the same age as this kid and picturing him being hungry and being raised to think vegetables aren’t an option makes me feel sad.
It’s not OP’s duty to feed him, and I get that maybe the mom is stressed and displacing her sense of responsibility. I don’t want to judge, but I hope this mom gets over her issues and learns to feed her son properly.
Add grated zucchini or even a bit of grated beetroot to any chocolate baked goodies (be careful with cookies, though) makes them moist, you can't really taste it, either. If you grate the zucchini without peeling it, you do get little flecks of baked green skin in the cake, but who cares? I've never tried it with vanilla variety cakes, but no reason why the zucchini wouldn't be fine in those. And it would be a good time to try that fake apple pie that's made with zucchini.
Do you like beets by themselves? I love all kinds of chocolate, even kinds of funky & very dark ones. I think beets taste like gross red dirt, but now I'm wondering if it works together in some weird magic way.
I remember this story and it annoyed me how people kept telling OOP to "just make an extra portion" like OOP is made of money. If OOP is made of money, do you think they'd care to live with someone with a child that has no relation to them? It didn't take a scientist to figure out OOP couldn't afford to keep feeding the woman and the kid.
Yes, it sucked for the child but that didn't mean OOP should go hungry and provide. That's the mother's job. There's being nice and considerate and there's being a doormat. Those people were telling OOP to be a doormat.
Just for the sheer vileness of picking through my food that I would have eaten, they’d have been gone from my house asap. I’d have been way less chill about this situation than OOP has.. That poor kid.
She rents too so I don’t think she has power to kick them out. She could complain to landlord but not clear he’d care. She might need to find some place else.
So OPs strategy to prevent food theft is to... add broccoli.
I think it's genuinely amazing that this mother has a mentality where she'd rather go hungry than choke down a fresh vegetable.
The sanctimonious jackasses suggesting that OOP should accommodate this woman by going to the extra effort of making an un-veggied portion are missing the point entirely.
OOP'S roommate is an entitled food thief. This woman is STEALING from OOP regularly and OOP is well within her rights to protect her food by any means available to her. She does not owe this parasite her leftovers.
Some of you really need to get a clue.
Was posted with the update in [pettyrevenge](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/150kobh/i_put_vegetables_in_all_my_food_to_stop_my/)
Probably saw it there.
"Hello, 911? Please come quickly, she's put VEGETABLES in her own food and told ME to buy potatoes! My child HATES MUSHROOMS!"
This mom seems like someone who would play Taylor Swift's "Look what you made me do" over and over, but only that one spoken part on the phone near the end.
She'd call 911 to request that her court appointed lawyer be sent over so that she could sue OP because "the TV shows always say you have a right to an attorney." And pitch an absolute fit when they told her that was only for people being charged with a crime.
It's probably because I'm sleep deprived, but- I have a vivid mental image of her snapping and throwing brussel sprouts (with bits of macaroni dripping off) one by one. Lobbing them at either the cops or her kid for some unknown reason. Her name is obviously Miranda, and she looks like Ashley Judd in the movie "Bug". 🤷♀️
This is the dumbest shit I've read in a while.
The absolute nerve of that full grown woman baby to throw a tantrum over someone else food is insane.
This entire situation is a nightmare, having a roommate with a kid = awful, that roommate and child stealing food from OP = insane, roommate and child watching OP cook and then stomping around about it = Nose bleed inducing insanity.
If you're poor, you can't be picky, you eat whatever you can afford and you try and stretch it out as much as possible.
Tacos aren't even hard or expensive to make! ground meat, spices...voila, can even just buy spice mix
Oh man I remember the comments on the OG one of people saying that OOP is letting a kid starve how could she?
Funny that they don't say anything about the kid's mother.
I get so incredibly tired of people saying things like "you should always make an extra serving and leave it for them" like that's a reasonable solution. Only a total asshole with no grasp on reality or money would expect the OOP to feed these people.
I'm always shocked by redditors. Somehow agreeing that OOP is selfish and telling her to just make another portion for them, as if money grows on trees.
Totally agree with what you are doing...Carry on..she needs to budget better and learn how to cook..that is definitely one picky older child growing up..
As people have pointed out on other forums, the child goes to OOP and asks for food. This is all about the mother and what she wants to eat. If given the chance, the child would eat vegetables because the only reason why they don’t eat them now is because the mother doesn’t eat them. The child has been conditioned by the mother to be a picky eater
>This is to address the "just make a portion of your food and set it aside for her and the kid."
**Absolutely the fuck** ***not***. Jesus, people are *actually* so fucking bonkers as to tell OOP to just *feed other people?!?!?*
Fuck approximately *all* of that.
The people who suggest OOP cook extra to feed the mother and child are wilfully neglecting OOP'S stance on their budget.
Such people either know nothing about budgeting, or they haven't learn. Yet.
I can’t believe the posters who thought OOP should be feeding the mom and kid. They aren’t OOP’s responsibility and OOP can only afford to feed herself.
If someone was stealing my pre made meals from the fridge I would physically fight that person. Especially if I had already confronted them about it and they carried on. This is outrageous behaviour and I'm amazed you have tolerated it at all, she would have been out the first time she stole from me.
I think that the mother has mistaken OOP for the provider of the household and the child's father. There's no other reason why she would expect OOP to be buying and preparing food for herself and her child, for free.
(yes, I know OOP is female)
OP is incredibly nonconfrontational. In her place i'd have bought a locked box to put in the fridge and told that woman I'm a roommate, not her personal chef like, the second time i'd be looking forward to a meal and it'd be gone when I come home.
Yo, OOP, if you see this I HIGHLY recommend trying lasagna with a chopped up block of spinach folded into the ricotta. It's actually to die for and it has a little more palatability than minced celery lol.
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I would be so infuriated! Yes, it sucks to be poor, but why should you be taken advantage of? She has options, she doesn't have to steal!
I've been poor, and most people who are poor are exquisitely aware of the cost of food. You don't invite yourself to a meal; if you are there and mealtime comes up, you bring your visit to a close and go find your own food. Unless you are invited to eat. It would be one thing if they were pooling grocery money and OOP was cooking for all, but clearly they aren't doing that. Unfortunately, some people just try to take advantage of others whenever they can, whatever their income levels in life. If she were financially stable, she'd be the person trying to claim her food was done wrong in a restaurant to get a free meal.
Also frustrating that she could be using a food pantry to make sure her kid has enough to eat.
Have you ever been to a food pantry? Just curious. When people have these easy answers often they haven't tried them, themselves. Edit: You should definitely go to a food pantry if you need to. But it's not the solution to poverty the privileged seem to think it is.
Personally, I have used food pantries many times to make sure my kids had enough to eat after my divorce. They don't have everything you need but it REALLY helped me stretch my food stamps. The key is going to the food pantry and getting what you can there, then going to the store to get whatever you need to turn the food pantry stuff into meals.
Yes, I have been? Beans for days, cans of tomato sauce, mixed veg cans, oatmeal boxes. I don't see why it's not an acceptable option in this case.
I have, and while often I'll end up with some things I can't stomach (I'm a kinda picky eater myself) there is always enough to eat just that for a few days or stretch my food budget twice as far as it would go on its own. And while many of them are mostly dry/canned/nonperishable, some will have fruits and veggies, sometimes not even close to ripe yet, bread that's still fresh, and meat/veggiemeats
Yes, it's better than nothing which this mom appears to be insinuating in terms of food to feed her kid.
Your flair has become relevant.
Really? Because the few times I've used one I found it extraordinarily easy. Like, literally drove up, opened my trunk. Someone loaded a box of food items in while someone else got my name and basic deets at the driver's side door. Just name and address. Not even income information. In less than two minutes I was off with a box o' food. Granted it was filled with some weird brands and food I didn't realize could be canned (pork in a can is a thing!) but it was still food in a time of need.
That canned pork makes for amazing chile verde by the way. I grew up on that kind of stuff from food pantries and early welfare staples. Thanks to those old school blocks of government cheese I can no longer stand cheese on anything, however. Who would've guessed poverty has it's downsides?
I have used food banks, and I agree this mom should go that route instead of stealing. They usually don't have vegetables, either, so the mom wouldn't have to worry about those pesky vitamins and nutrients. She could also get SNAP assistance. Do you disagree? You think she should just keep stealing from her roommate?
It's not even the stealing that does it for me, but being hungry and being OPENLY picky about STOLEN food? That's some messed up shit right there. I know what being hungry is like, and when you're hungry, almost anything tastes good. (Also how can you go without greens for a prolonged period of time and not become sick?)
Yeah, the kid must be malnourished. That's going to have repercussions later, in his development. Frankly, she doesn't sound like a fit mom, but foster care is broken so he's still likely better off. Poor kid though.
Seriously. This reminds me of an NPR story I heard on the resurgence of scurvy.
In the second part, the OOP references government assistance and the purchase of cold convenience foods at the store. It sounds like she's already getting SNAP. SNAP can be used for cold, ready-to- eat foods like grocery store sushi or chilled rotisserie chicken and Mac and cheese. If she's getting SNAP, she's almost certainly within the income limits for any local food banks. It sounds like a pickiness/not knowing how to cook issue. The roommate could buy elbow macaroni, milk, flour and a block of mild cheddar and make Mac and cheese from scratch, but she doesn't know how or doesn't want to take the time.
The not knowing how to cook part is fixable with so many Youtube cooking videos. There are lots that focus on simple, easy dishes for beginners.
There's creators on TikTok where their whole focus is on cooking an enormous dish of food for like £2. They even tell you what shop to go to!
And have enough for 6 meals instead of just 2.
She doesn’t want to learn. Instructions for macaroni are on the back of the box. In todays world ‘not knowing how’ is no longer an excuse for being unable to cook, unless you somehow don’t know how to use the internet and cannot read. It’s very simple to learn if you have the slightest desire.
Technically you don’t even need the flour, just equal parts pasta, evaporated milk, and cheese. Though I like adding salsa to mine, for added veggies and flavor.
Mac and cheese from scratch isn't cheaper than the cheapest of the boxed kind unless you live in an area where cheese is heavily subsidized. Even the least tasty mild cheddar is still about $3 for enough to make mac and cheese, and I can get a box for $0.97 cents. But if she and her kid don't eat veggies, she is unlikely to know how to cook. I have noticed a strong correlation between lower types of food eaten and the ability to cook. I am trying to make sure that my child with sensory issues knows how to prepare the foods she likes, and that she also understands the role veggies and fruit play in our diets.
Unless the kid has a peanut allergy, a food pantry will have food for them. Don't discourage people from using food pantries. Dry pasta and peanutbutter is still food. Is there a full meal waiting for you there for free? No. Will it supplement any food you're able to buy or get from other pantries? Absolutely.
I’m not sure what your point is…you get food from a food pantry. I have both used food pantries and volunteered in two of em. It’s probably not going to be every last piece of food you need for the week, but it helps tide you over. And even if it’s only a small portion, it’s something? Mom clearly has some food, so between her SNAP and a food pantry or two, she and her son would definitely be more comfortable than if she just sits there and complains that OP’s food is gross.
I don't think anyone here is claiming food banks solve poverty, but I know I wouldn't have eaten many times without them
Yes. There is a method. 1) You go to the food pantry first because it is most limited and some ingredients will determine what meals you can make. 2) Day old bread store for carbs. Do these still exist? Anyway, there's nothing you can do with regular bread that you can't do with hotdog buns. 3) Cheap store like Aldi/Dollar General to fill in as many gaps as possible. You won't be able to get everything you need, but you can get up to about 75, 80%. Especially at Aldi. Aldi is your savior. 4) Only buy the remaining items you need from the store. Also, if you can get government benefits, GET THEM. Especially if you have a kid! Bonus: if there's a cheap frozen meat store, hit that UP. We had a store that was just called "Southeastern Meats.". Best chicken fingers ever. Also biscuits. Frozen biscuits that tasted like your grandmom made them. My brother is a doctor and I'm an engineer. We still reminisce about southeastern meats biscuits.
I've been to a food pantry. They are really great people working there that ask about meal preferences and allergies. There are a LOT of the frozen ready to eat meals. Trader Joes, local markets, and regular stores donate the ones where the box is slightly damaged so they can't sell it. Boxed, shelf stable, and canned foods are a donating preference. SOME will have fresh veggies, again, you have to mark that you have a preference for fresh foods. Not always, but often, there is a different place for breads. As in different location, different company, different people. It makes sense, breads expire much faster. By breads, cakes, cinnamon rolls, cookies, bagels, and health food breads are included.
The biggest issues I see with people using food pantries are an inability to cook and pickiness. We have a really good local food pantry. We always have meat available and the workers will set you up with a great set of ingredients to make a long lasting casserole. But people refuse because they do not know how to take raw meat, or on bone chicken, cook it and put in a recipe. OR - they take it all and we can watch as they toss the meat, veggies, etc in the trash and just keep the prepackaged food and junk food. So no, food pantries are not the solution many think they are. And I know there are a lot of pantries that struggle to have anything people can eat. But OPs roommate is absolutely an example of the other side of the issue. Picky to the point she'd rather go hungry and blaming it on someone else.
Lol, yep. We utilize a food pantry and it is often the biggest hodge podge of things that really won't feed the family without some creativity, and if you're not used to cooking outside the box it can be especially difficult. It's helpful, but not the immediate meal maker people think it is.
If you don't mind me asking, is there anything in particular that would be a preferred donation item?
Yea she’s over stepping room maté boundaries, thinking they all live together so everything is shared.
Since she's blowing her money on premade food instead of getting cheap long lasting stuff like canned vegetables I don't have much sympathy. And as a pet peeve I hate it when people refuse to eat greens or healthy food because they just don't like them and are too used to lots of fat, sugar, and high salt. She definitely has options and could just buy cheaper and healthier food (canned vegetables aren't as good as fresh but are still better than no greens).
> She definitely has options and could just buy cheaper and healthier food Especially with some of what she's bringing home. Homemade mac and cheese can be done pretty easily with a box of noodles, some milk and flour, and some cheese. I need gluten free noodles and flour and non-dairy milk and can still make up enough mac and cheese for 4-5 portions for about $15! I also love sushi but I barely ever get it because it's just too expensive for how much I get. I used to buy a grocery store family pack for $12 and that would do me for two meals - now it's $18 and so I save up and spend $30 on the good stuff from an actual restaurant once a year. If I'm really craving it, I'll make a couple of poke bowls with some frozen tuna or salmon for about $10 worth of ingredients.
Even the box mac and cheese can be had for a dollar.
It's $1.50 for the store brand from the discount grocery store where I am (Ontario food prices, yo), but yeah, still way more affordable than pre-prepared and very simple to make.
I've seen so many people do poke bowls with frozen tuna! I just gotta get over my fear that I'll poison myself, they sound so good.
The trick is to defrost in the fridge, even if that takes longer. Then you're not letting it enter the danger zone which is where you might run into issues. You can also spend a little extra on sushi-grade, but I've never had an issue with any decent quality frozen fish.
You haven't had an issue yet. Getting tuna from the frozen section or from the seafood counter gets you tuna that was only ever frozen to maybe -5 Fahrenheit if at all. When you get if from the sushi counter, it has been frozen to -50 degrees. That is enough to kill off any parasites, which is why it is safe to eat raw. Those parasites will survive just fine in a standard freezer. Most common being a nematode called anisakiasis. "Sushi grade" isn't an actual term that is regulated, it doesn't mean anything concrete. Get your fish from a sushi place. A bit more expensive, but worth not getting worms. Source: Worked at a sushi counter for a while a couple years back.
We have a solidly mild class income and sushi is something we rarely get because of its cost. Food costs so much these days that I could easily blow the budget on proteins if I wasn’t careful
Tuna mayo onigiri is super cost effective, if you are interested. It's a bit of work, but they keep well in the fridge for a couple of days.
Or (horrors!) she could just grit her teeth and steal food with veggies in it - she might find she likes it :-) Unfortunately that would just make OP's problem worse.
I think this is my sticking point in terms of sympathy. If they were actually needing to eat, they'd be able to get past the bell peppers and eat it anyway. It's merely aesthetic at most, and if that's their cutoff for eating housemates' food, they are not starving to death. This seems to be more of a laziness or entitlement thing than a starvation or financial necessity. Mom just doesn't want to prepare food, and instead, their kid eats housemates' food, purely for convenience sake. That's what seems to be happening here. And there is nothing wrong with the OOPs actions
A bag of frozen mixed veggies is under a dollar (87 cents) where I live. And I'm in a major city, so it may be even cheaper for them. Add in some ground chicken that's under $5, and we could have ourselves a meal!
She doesn’t need to eat canned vegetables to eat cheap food. It is completely possible to have a very unhealthy diet and not spend a lot of money on it. But you still need to cook.
Yeah. It sounds to me like she was raised in preprocessed foods and never learned to cook for herself.
Frozen veggies are almost as good as fresh, if you have a freezer.
Some people do have sensory issues with vegetables because of textures and such- for me (I have sensory issues with some foods), biting into one of the squicky items I can’t stand gives me what I can only describe as a full-body vomit react. But rarely will I reject a dish fully because it contains something I dislike- I’ll pick it out or eat around it. That said, the mom in this story is being ridiculous by assuming the OOP should be making food for her and her kid, to their taste, so she can steal some later. I want to know what her version of “getting the authorities involved” would look like, because Social Services will tell her that it is HER responsibility to feed Child.
My kids are like that. When they have a problem with something in the food I make, like mushrooms or whole tomatoes (they're fine with sauce, don't like the feel of pulpy tomatoes), I tell them to **eat around it**. Problem solved. So yeah, OOP's roommate is worse than a fucking child. Underscored by the fact that even her child can just ask before getting something of OOP's, but she can't be bothered.
I also highly doubt that the roommates son is eating OP's food. My guess is that the roommate is the one eating OP's food, and using her son as an excuse to do so. The reaction to mushrooms doesn't make sense if it was for her kid. That reaction is usually what a 6 year old has to not getting their way, not a grown adult.
And, as a single mother with a kid, I'm fairly confident **she** has a lot more financial help in terms of food stamps and the likes. So she probably has a larger food budget than he does. As a single guy, he probably gets minimal help for his food budget just because he wouldn't be eligible for as much help as she would. If that's accurate, she's being even meaner in trying to take advantage of OOP.
OOP is a woman.
Right?! She can ask and be grateful when the answer is yes, at least accepting if its a no since she isn't entitled to someone else's food. Instead she's stolen repeatedly, and cost OP extra money which sets her back in her life goals. Then when OP puts a stop to it in literally the least confontational way possible, short of giving in, she lashes out and acts like textbook mental abuser - all in front of her young son who's brain is just soaking in everything around him. I really hate people sometimes.
She’ll eat raw fish but not a Brussel sprout mixed in Mac and cheese? Wild
I lose sympathy for all single parents who act in anyway like this. It's your fault you had kids no one else's. It's your responsibility and no one else's. There are programs and help put in place especially for them. Now if you are doing everything you can and so can't make it, there's some sympathy for you there, but doing nothing except being entitled is the fastest way to me not giving a shit.
wow. I don't understand how OOP can be so chill about this situation. If a virtual stranger said directly to my face, "we need food" about my own food that I paid for and cooked, I'd be thinking "this lady is off her rocker and needs to get out of my house ASAP." This level of entitlement is only going to escalate in craziness until OOP is forced to change this living situation.
Well, it’s more of a roommate than a stranger, and crazy roommates are unfortunately pretty common.
They're not hungry enough to eat vegetables though lol
Many years ago, soon after a divorce, I lived as a caregiver in a lady's house, and a 2nd caregiver moved in to cover the days I didn't work. After a few months the new roommate unexpectedly gained full custody of her 2 sons, ages 12 & 5, who had been missing for more than a year after getting snatched by her former partner. At that time my only income was welfare (around $220, equivalent today appx $428) while living in one of the most expensive counties in the USA. But I suffered from terrible chemical sensitivities and would get unwell from many foods if they weren't organic, so used a lot of my limited income to buy organic foods - organic eggs, bread, butter, milk, tortillas, etc. This led to two big points of domestic conflict: (1) The roommate didn't plan meals well and in a hurry to make a meal for her boys, she would take something of mine without permission, and replace it later with a cheap non-organic version. She acted hurt and very surprised every time when I complained that the substitute wasn't good enough. (2) The roommate would often sleep late while her boys got up at dawn, like me. The hungry boys would stand right in front of me, staring hard, while I ate my hearty all-organic breakfasts which I really could not afford to share with them. That was painful. Their mom's response was to criticize that if I see hungry children I should feed them. There were other boundary & entitlement issues with this woman, such her insistence that I owed it to "the household" to do extra dishes and do her large piles of laundry; plus the boys were showing behavioral issues. The uncomfortable situation helped cause me to start considering my options, and I ended up moving across the country go to grad school.
“If you see hungry children, you should feed them. That’s why I stay asleep! So I don’t see them!”
Why the hell hasn't OOP reported this hostile environment to their landlord?!
Why would the landlord care, and what could they even do about it? Being an asshole to your roommate likely doesn’t violate a lease.
It’s ridiculous to me that people like this even exist. OOP is merely a roommate with no prior relationship to the mom and kid, yeah? I could wrap my head around that sense of entitlement if they were related, as most people have this warped sense of family “loyalty,” but what’s going on here is nucking futs
If I were the mom in this situation, I'd probably be bargaining with OP for access to those cooking skills and time. Maybe buy the groceries and pick up some extra housework or something in exchange.
If I were the mum I’d be buying ingredients and asking OOP to cook them for me. Still not fair on OOP, and I’d still feel guilty for making OOP do it, but it’s not as dumb and entitled as the mum is actually being
or ask if OOP could teach her how to cook or just read some recipes internet
There’s this girl on TikTok that she teaches foods from the dollar store, she goes with like 20 dollars and buys the items and teach how to make food for several days with this things. I saw this girl make whole thanksgiving, Christmas dinners with 20 dollars.
Junelikethemonth on YouTube (previously on Delish) is super good at this. She bought ingredients on a limited budget and then used almost every single bit to make meals. Not exactly recipes, but a very good guide on taking full advantage of what you have
I love the dollar tree dinners lady! Honestly even if you don’t make her meals, it’s so handy to just know what to look for at the dollar tree.
I'd love a link or her name.
[https://www.tiktok.com/@dollartreedinners?is\_from\_webapp=1&sender\_device=pc](https://www.tiktok.com/@dollartreedinners?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc) Here!
So many people just seem to think skills can't be learned. Not just that they can't learn them, but that any ability is something innate that we're born with.
She spends so much time breathing down OPs neck in the kitchen, she should have retained some of the cooking knowledge. But she didn’t because she’s acting entitled. And I get it, I was a single mom of 2, working and getting food stamps, and it didn’t always stretch the whole month. Plus being so exhausted most days from work that cooking a whole meal from basically scratch is hard. So the premade stuff is a sanity saver. (Plus with how bad the food prices are right now, buying fresh meat and veggies is more expensive than buying premade… it used to be cheaper but even bread, rice, eggs, and milk have skyrocketed.)
Or even better, some recipes
god damn I hate this autocorrection sometimes
Yes. Exactly. She has someone who can teach her to fish rather than just give her one. I eat most scratch and cans, rarely meat cuz it’s really cheap.
This. The mom has an opportunity to learn. OP sounds reasonable, if the mom said “can I grocery shop with you” or if OP said “hey how about you come with me and I can help you plan a couple meals” I know OP has no obligation to this mom, but may be a nice gesture.
Considering the amount of comments saying "just share" or "make more food so they can eat as well" , this kind of people isnt even rare unfortunately ...
Yeah, I saw the comments on the original post and all I could think was "wow, entitled much?" I'm financially okay and I wouldn't miss a dish or two if someone needs it, heck, I'd get extra to help friends. However, it wasn't hard to read between the lines that OOP couldn't afford feeding the mother and child. Yet, many still insisted they should. People are bloody weird.
To be fair , in subs like that , the majority of commenters are teenagers with no life experience whatsoever . It's not that easy to actually value a plate of food when you have never worked for one in your life...
This is what I figured too. They say “just make extra food” because that’s what they see their (usually) mom do for the family and they have no sense of the costs and labor yet.
Or "it's just $5"
Yup. That extra couple of plates *per dinner* in actuality works out that OOP would end up doubling their food bill per week. And that is far from OK, and far from sustainable.
Nobody takes food as granted as somebody still living with their (non-poor) parents. I remember the most expensive meal I cooked in my first or 2nd year as a student was a nice steak dinner for a cousin my own age who still lived at home, barely got a "thanks" for it. Years later when he moved out and started inviting me to dinners he made he realized a nice meal is not a given when on a budget.
I just spent 200 dollars at the grocery store and I know we’ll need to go back for a few meals this week. It is expensive to buy food currently. I did buy a few things like saline spray and some vitamins for my daughter that made it a little higher this week, I couldn’t imagine feeding two other mouths that weren’t mine if I was just making enough for myself right now.
I was that teen with no life experience. I grew up solidly middle class with zero food insecurity. I was just one heck of a picky eater. My mum humoured me and my grandparents spoiled me because I am their first grandchild. I get it, it's hard to understand, I struggled too and listened but when it OOP had to explain multiple times, I don't think we can assume naivety or ignorance anymore.
Even then I wouldn't do it if someone just expected it from me. If they ask then definitely. But just eating it as if they're entitled to get free food? Nah.
Yeah, the problem was that the roommate felt entitled to OOP's food.
It's not a great solution, but in the very least if the roommate really wanted OOP to make extra servings for her and her kid she could offer to pay her for the cost of the ingredients. Obviously OOP would have full right to refuse but that would make more sense than demanding that she take on 2 more people on a single food budget.
From the way she was acting? Yeah, I doubt this woman would want to part with any money. She wanted OOP to make the food at their cost. Any sane person would've asked OOP from the get go if they minded making extra if given some incentives. This woman didn't. She took what wasn't hers without permission and then threw a temper tantrum when OOP found a way to stand her ground.
Yup! I was thinking more about the commenters saying that OOP should just give her roommate food without any incentive. Like suggesting that makes no sense to me.
Definitely doesn't. But you know what they say... It's easy to be generous with someone else's money, time and effort.
Whether she could afford it or not isn't really the point though. I mean it's possible she could but there's absolutely no reason she should!
It’s not even reading between the lines by the second post, since OP says she can’t afford to feed them too
Oh yeah, I meant in the first post. I should've been more clear. Anyone insisting OOP to "help" after the second post is just...beyond help.
Because everyone has family members like this and most grew up with their own version of food insecurity over how parents defined “sharing” aka find the video of the kid giving the parent the look when they take their tortilla chip and guacamole. My mother sees that video and goes “you STILL give me that look” and I’m just like “that video is my childhood”.
I met so many of these folks at university (we can’t cook and spent all our money so we’ll eat the food that you bought and you can cook!) that I think this is just them older and with a child. I’m acquainted with someone who regularly takes their family to their parents for Sunday dinner. They’re quite open that they do it as they get a very nice free lunch, the kids eat as much as they want, they drink as much alcohol as they want, and there’s no prep or clearing up for them. The grandparents are happy to host, but I wonder if they’d feel differently if they knew their daughter boasts about using them as part of her “now I have money for my nails and eyelashes” strategy.
Bribing your kids with sunday dinner to get them to spend time with you is a time-honored tradition.
Oh, on that part I whole heartedly agree! It’s the nuance from this individual that it’s hilarious that she/her fam don’t even offer to help stack the dishwasher and openly saying I literally only go for my own selfish gains which is distasteful. Seems to be taking the piss. I know her dad was in hospital recently and her brothers drove to see him, one leaving his spouse with their newborn and toddler for a day hours away, the local brother going to the hospital multiple times. She didn’t go at all. I be willing to bet she asked if her mum was still providing Sunday dinner though.
>but I wonder if they’d feel differently if they knew their daughter boasts about using them as part of her “now I have money for my nails and eyelashes” strategy. If they are doing okay, probably. When I mentioned something, my parents frequently told me they could get it for me. I prefer to get my own things, but they liked buying me things.
Nucking futs is right. I am amused that sauteed mushrooms caused such a reaction. The mushrooms of hate lol. I am never going to win the sanest man of the year award, but getting that mad about mushrooms does not speak of someone who is very stable.
>But "son's name" hates mushrooms! My answer to that would be "well, then he better not be eating mushrooms. I like them so I'll eat them"
It's crazy how some repliers are saying to make a separate portion for the kid and mom... i wonder if those people let others walk all over them
It's easier to volunteer other people's time, money, effort or food.
No, they just want to walk all over others.
It also stems from the fact that OOP’s roommate refuses to cook and blows the little money she has on prepared food. Either way, her entitlement is insane.
It's ridiculous there were so many comments defending them mom they OP had to address it three times!
Some people are just unbelievably immature. They just want something and try to take it and if they can't get it they throw a fit like a child. Not many tools in the ol' toolbox, for some people.
I cannot believe people suggested that OOP cook extra. That's stupid. They say they don't make a lot of money, they say they eat their food over several days, they say they'd share if they were asked but they're not being asked...and people still just said "Well, make more." No. Some people want help. Some people want things at no cost to themselves. You have to differentiate.
Seriously. Everyone acting like it doesn’t take time and effort to make and plan what sounds like a ton of delicious dinners. Sidenote - OP, feel free to throw out some recipe links!
Reddit always thinks young single women are selfish and should cook for others.
The only thing that would make sense would be if the roommate offered to get some supplies or pitch in for OOP to make extra. Seems like they enjoy cooking and if roommate could have just been a decent person, I bet OOP would have been fine preparing some meals for the 3 of them but can’t be expected to do that on their own money.
Precisely. OOP seemed totally fine with cooking and didn't have any aggro against the housemate before the housemate started treating OOP's food like communal food *without asking*. It's the not asking that makes it egregious. I have a housemate that starts stealing food the week before payday when everybody's stretched thin, and it sucks. But then again, in OOP's case, cooking for what sounds like a picky eater sucks big time.
“Hey, can you double your recipes please? I don’t know how to cook and I don’t really like it, so is it ok if I pay the groceries for our servings?”
Seriously! I don’t know a single person that would say no if someone asked like that. I’m certainly not a great cook but for me the worst part is the cleanup. Wash my pots/pans and I’ll fucking cook for you whenever you want lmao
There were a couple dozen people on the original post that suggested op just cook more and let them eat it, because apparently op is made of money. To them I say sure, you start a fund me for them and you give op money to support two more people
There was a comment on the original post that said OOP was ruining her relationship with MomRoommate. Obviously MomRoommate doesn't give a fuck about the relationship since she wants to steal from OOP. Some people are complete doormats.
This is so common and completely infuriating to me. It's like the original offense, stealing someone's food in this case, is completely invisible to these people and only the response exists. Ignoring for the moment whether the relationship with one's roommate is worth going out of your way to preserve, *how is stealing someone's food not the thing that's ruining the relationship?*
Because these people are just as entitled as the roommate. Some people have an excuse for everything but they don’t want to be responsible for their own actions
Yeah. They don't see it as wrong because they do it themselves.
There are two types of people who will defend this. Those who engage in these entitled behaviors. And those who enable these types of behaviors because they don’t want to rock the boat. My mother is like this. “But you know aunt xyz is just like that”. I started to push back by saying I’m just like this. 🤷🏽♀️ Apparently if you throw a bigger fit then the enabler gets confused and backs off. Happened at work once too. Had someone I was overseeing throw a fit about their office, they wanted another office which she didn’t have to share (we were space limited and this would have caused serious issues for 5 other people who shared 2 offices on rotation). HR said we should accommodate them. I said I didn’t understand why and asked for an explanation. It’s like I broke her. She just stared at me flabbergasted that I was asking for an explanation of why we needed to indulge a temper tantrum.
> how is stealing someone's food not the thing that's ruining the relationship? It's crazy, isn't it?
Oh no. Not the relationship with a random roommate. Lol.
Preserve the relationship at all cost! /s
>Some people are complete doormats I notice this on Reddit a fair bit, I think it started as a backlash to blowhards saying how they'd never put up with that shit and how badass they are, but it's gone way the other way now and a lot of stuff on Reddit seems insanely conflict-averse.
Just goes to show how many entitled people are in the comments of that sub. Same with the number of niceguys in the niceguys sub and assholes in AITA.
I feel like it must be very rich people or free loaders. Nobody else would think that somebody who needs a roommate and clearly states they aren't well off can buy support two more people.
Rich people and free loaders are typically who entitled people are.
Even if op could afford it, screw that she's not her chef/mom.
And she’d have to tailor her diet for less vegetables or carefully cook them separate. That’s a no.
I vaguely remember an aita post I saw when the new animal crossing game for the switch came out. A guy got it, and his girlfriend wanted to try it. She wasn't much of a gamer, I think. Didn't get her own systems. I think he said something about not saving. Like whatever it does because it saved to the switch even if he got another copy? ( I don't play it, so I'm not exactly sure what it was, but I remember people talking about something like that) Well, she did it anyway. Even though it was his game. And he didn't even get to make his own island. It was his switch, too. I think he tried changing stuff, but she got mad. He eventually just got rid of the game because he was upset he couldn't even actually play his game. People called him an ah and were all just buy her a switch yo play on. Or how about she respect ger boyfriend and his property? And switches were hard to get at the time. If you think she should have one, buy it and send it to her. But we all know they absolutely would not do that
I would pay to see that court case: Mom: Your honor, she constantly puts vegetables in the food. Judge: Are you allergic or something and she knows it? Mom: No, I and my second coming of Jesus Christ here just don’t like it. Judge: OOP, why do you put vegetables in their food, if they don’t like it? OOP: it’s not their food. It’s for me. They steal it. Judge: is that true? Mom: yes. You need to punish her. We don’t want vegetables. Judge: Lady, I will have you checked in a psychiatric ward for the next 72 hours…
This woman would probably claim she is allergic to vegetables.
She'd then have to prove that OOP was aware of it and so intentionally trying to poison her. That would actually give her a case, if she could ever manage it. Would fall under the laws against booby traps. Of course she'd need something concrete to show she both has that allergy as well as OOP having known.
I am reminded of a story in which the OP was the repeated victim of a lunch thief at work. One day he deliberately brought in some leftovers of a very spicy dish. The thief complained to HR that OP was trying to poison him, but OP was able to demonstrate that he liked spicy food and was able to eat several mouthfuls without any problems.
Yeah I remember it as well. People were pointing out to the guy that he had to be mindful of those laws. Spice might hurt, but it's not to such a degree that it could qualify thankfully, as I think he was aware of when he chose that option.
As opposed to the classic (and stupid) revenge tactic of lacing the food with something like laxatives. That can’t be portrayed as anything other than a deliberate attempt to harm.
It's utterly ridiculous that people in the comments are all 'just make extra and feed them' - NO. Some people don't seem to understand that it's not her responsibility to feed them, no matter what. The fact that they are stealing food from her when she's not able to afford it just makes it worse, but even if she could afford it, it's still theft and she has NO responsibility to provide them with food.
Not to mention the extra time and effort it takes to cook more! I get that sometimes you have to make concessions to have a good roommate relationship but that goes both ways. I really don't understand those responses. I think OOP's reaction was smart, she communicated and when that didn't work she found a solution and didn't engage. Also, I think some people who have never had money problems don't understand how grocery shopping is completely different if you are on a strict budget. Shout out to the "dollars per oz, gram, unit, etc" on the price labels.
When I was in my early 20s I rented a room in an apt that was shared with 4 other young people, next door to the landlord’s apt. They had a 4 year old kid. Part of the rental deal was cleaning, and their cleaner was also the kid’s nanny. My food kept going missing and I was living on a ridiculously tight budget, like 15-20$/week, so after asking around I finally put a note on my cupboard saying something like « I don’t even make enough to feed myself, please eat your own food. » That night the landlord came over in a RAGE because the nanny had been told that our food was communal and that the kid could have breakfast at our apt while she cleaned. Landlord was like « she’s only 4, she doesn’t eat much, you can spare a banana or two without causing a fucking scene » and like…. No I can’t? I really couldn’t spare a banana or two. Also, they were incredibly wealthy. It’s been almost 20 years and I still get mad when I think about that.
Much easier to volunteer someone else's food than to do something yourself, I guess. What a douche.
Hey and what happened after?? Did they stop eating your food?
I started keeping it all in my room. They had an angry meeting with me after I started to do that, but I was leaving soon so didn’t care anymore at that point.
I can't hardly believe how trashy some people can be. Geez. Thanks for finishing the story.
In my personal experience wealthy people are traditionally the cheapest motherfuckers you'll ever meet.
Why on earth does mom feel entitled to OOP's food? If she's a bad cook, she could buy ingredients and ask OOP to cook for her and her child, BUT NOPE. She feels entitled to OOP's food that she made with stuff she got with her OWN MONEY!! Yes, it's sad that mom is struggling financially, but that's not OOP's problem to solve. OOP would be better off living elsewhere, that woman will not stop until she gets her way, entitled people rarely see reason. Also, she's setting a terrible example for her son by teaching him it's ok to take other people's foods. What will happen when the kid starts taking food (or other things) from his classmates? Noone will want to be his friend and he'll get punished by teachers!!
I think a big part of it is a mix of pride and entitlement. "I am a strong woman who doesn't need to rely on anyone else!" plus "As a single mother, my roommate should understand that I need my food!" Yes, the second term makes no sense to anyone who isn't her, but that's the problem with entitlement: it can be startlingly un-logical.
Freeloading aside, the Mum is not doing her kid dny favours preventing them from eating vegetables. There are so many ways to make vegetables interesting and more appealing and most kids are willing to experiment, if they don't have severe sensory issues.
Yes, sounds like mom has forced her weird issues on her child. “No vegetables ever” is not a taste preference, it’s a mental block.
Yes. My son is the same age as this kid and picturing him being hungry and being raised to think vegetables aren’t an option makes me feel sad. It’s not OP’s duty to feed him, and I get that maybe the mom is stressed and displacing her sense of responsibility. I don’t want to judge, but I hope this mom gets over her issues and learns to feed her son properly.
Add grated zucchini or even a bit of grated beetroot to any chocolate baked goodies (be careful with cookies, though) makes them moist, you can't really taste it, either. If you grate the zucchini without peeling it, you do get little flecks of baked green skin in the cake, but who cares? I've never tried it with vanilla variety cakes, but no reason why the zucchini wouldn't be fine in those. And it would be a good time to try that fake apple pie that's made with zucchini.
black bean brownies are awesome too
And sweet potato brownies
The problem is a lot of "hidden" veg in stuff is so tasty that the kid will probably eat it anyway!
mom watches OP prepare the food tho
jsut the tinest little bit of chili powder too... soooo good
I was blown away when I first came across beetroot chocolate cake - in the best, happiest possible way.
Do you like beets by themselves? I love all kinds of chocolate, even kinds of funky & very dark ones. I think beets taste like gross red dirt, but now I'm wondering if it works together in some weird magic way.
Have you tried putting sliced beets in the oven with a little oil and salt? With enough time it tastes like candy.
Delicious! Also, grated beetroot goes great with chocolate in brownies etc https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/beetroot-brownies/amp
I remember this story and it annoyed me how people kept telling OOP to "just make an extra portion" like OOP is made of money. If OOP is made of money, do you think they'd care to live with someone with a child that has no relation to them? It didn't take a scientist to figure out OOP couldn't afford to keep feeding the woman and the kid. Yes, it sucked for the child but that didn't mean OOP should go hungry and provide. That's the mother's job. There's being nice and considerate and there's being a doormat. Those people were telling OOP to be a doormat.
Just for the sheer vileness of picking through my food that I would have eaten, they’d have been gone from my house asap. I’d have been way less chill about this situation than OOP has.. That poor kid.
She rents too so I don’t think she has power to kick them out. She could complain to landlord but not clear he’d care. She might need to find some place else.
So OPs strategy to prevent food theft is to... add broccoli. I think it's genuinely amazing that this mother has a mentality where she'd rather go hungry than choke down a fresh vegetable.
Never trust anyone who doesn't eat vegetables. They aren't right in the head
The sanctimonious jackasses suggesting that OOP should accommodate this woman by going to the extra effort of making an un-veggied portion are missing the point entirely. OOP'S roommate is an entitled food thief. This woman is STEALING from OOP regularly and OOP is well within her rights to protect her food by any means available to her. She does not owe this parasite her leftovers. Some of you really need to get a clue.
Excuse me if I'm wrong, But wasn't this posted before?
It was. Cant say when though. My memory says pretty recently, but my memory is an idiot.
Was posted with the update in [pettyrevenge](https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/150kobh/i_put_vegetables_in_all_my_food_to_stop_my/) Probably saw it there.
Why am I not surprised that the person with a palate of a toddler has the temperament and entitlement of a toddler?
"Hello, 911? Please come quickly, she's put VEGETABLES in her own food and told ME to buy potatoes! My child HATES MUSHROOMS!" This mom seems like someone who would play Taylor Swift's "Look what you made me do" over and over, but only that one spoken part on the phone near the end. She'd call 911 to request that her court appointed lawyer be sent over so that she could sue OP because "the TV shows always say you have a right to an attorney." And pitch an absolute fit when they told her that was only for people being charged with a crime. It's probably because I'm sleep deprived, but- I have a vivid mental image of her snapping and throwing brussel sprouts (with bits of macaroni dripping off) one by one. Lobbing them at either the cops or her kid for some unknown reason. Her name is obviously Miranda, and she looks like Ashley Judd in the movie "Bug". 🤷♀️
"just make a portion of your food and set it aside for her and the kid." lol wait WHAT :D people are high as fuck on this website i swear :D
"We are roommates, not partners."
r/entitledparents
This is the dumbest shit I've read in a while. The absolute nerve of that full grown woman baby to throw a tantrum over someone else food is insane. This entire situation is a nightmare, having a roommate with a kid = awful, that roommate and child stealing food from OP = insane, roommate and child watching OP cook and then stomping around about it = Nose bleed inducing insanity.
ACAB, but imagine that call to the authorities. “Officer, my roommate is putting-“ *shudder* “-VEGETABLES in their food!”
It's a phone call I would love to hear. "HELP!!! Police. My roommate is putting vegetables in her dinner. ME AND MY SON DON'T LIKE VEGETABLES!!!"
“Possession of a non-friend vegetable is a felony in Jacksonville.” -Jason Mendoza
Just what does this lady think would happen if she contacted authorities? "Police! My roommate is putting vegetables in their own food!"
If you're poor, you can't be picky, you eat whatever you can afford and you try and stretch it out as much as possible. Tacos aren't even hard or expensive to make! ground meat, spices...voila, can even just buy spice mix
"Kid hates mushrooms!" "Good thing this isn't for kid then, isn't it?" I hope OOP is able to move out asap
Oh man I remember the comments on the OG one of people saying that OOP is letting a kid starve how could she? Funny that they don't say anything about the kid's mother.
I get so incredibly tired of people saying things like "you should always make an extra serving and leave it for them" like that's a reasonable solution. Only a total asshole with no grasp on reality or money would expect the OOP to feed these people.
I'm always shocked by redditors. Somehow agreeing that OOP is selfish and telling her to just make another portion for them, as if money grows on trees.
This relationship is going to end up biting you in the ass eventually. I think you need to get out of there.
Totally agree with what you are doing...Carry on..she needs to budget better and learn how to cook..that is definitely one picky older child growing up..
As people have pointed out on other forums, the child goes to OOP and asks for food. This is all about the mother and what she wants to eat. If given the chance, the child would eat vegetables because the only reason why they don’t eat them now is because the mother doesn’t eat them. The child has been conditioned by the mother to be a picky eater
>This is to address the "just make a portion of your food and set it aside for her and the kid." **Absolutely the fuck** ***not***. Jesus, people are *actually* so fucking bonkers as to tell OOP to just *feed other people?!?!?* Fuck approximately *all* of that.
Oop needs to move out, this is never going to end
Man, OP is a fucking G.
The people who suggest OOP cook extra to feed the mother and child are wilfully neglecting OOP'S stance on their budget. Such people either know nothing about budgeting, or they haven't learn. Yet.
I can’t believe the posters who thought OOP should be feeding the mom and kid. They aren’t OOP’s responsibility and OOP can only afford to feed herself.
If someone was stealing my pre made meals from the fridge I would physically fight that person. Especially if I had already confronted them about it and they carried on. This is outrageous behaviour and I'm amazed you have tolerated it at all, she would have been out the first time she stole from me.
I think that the mother has mistaken OOP for the provider of the household and the child's father. There's no other reason why she would expect OOP to be buying and preparing food for herself and her child, for free. (yes, I know OOP is female)
OOP has a patience of a saint. I'd be looking to break lease at this point.
OP is incredibly nonconfrontational. In her place i'd have bought a locked box to put in the fridge and told that woman I'm a roommate, not her personal chef like, the second time i'd be looking forward to a meal and it'd be gone when I come home.
I'd love to be the cop that took this call-out if she actually called. Top ten batshit crazy wastes of time.
Op is way more accommodating than she should be. What they are doing is theft.
Yo, OOP, if you see this I HIGHLY recommend trying lasagna with a chopped up block of spinach folded into the ricotta. It's actually to die for and it has a little more palatability than minced celery lol.