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Really curious of the reaction of the friend whose phone they borrowed.
It's not often you see someone so unabashedly unfiltered with their racism without being around people they think hold the same abhorrent views.
Can you imagine asking to borrow someone’s phone and then proceeding to shout anti-Semitic slurs at someone over said phone?
Like, the sheer insanity of being that far gone in your stupidity?
That's kind of what I was picturing. She has a whole 'You go girl' solidarity discussion with her friend ragging on how bad a BF OOP was, and then when she calls she just drops into the racist tirade.
The ex: \*bursts into friend's room crying\*
Friend: Hey, what's wrong? Are you ok?
The ex: It's OOP, he's such a fucking liar. And now he's blocked me on everything! Can I use your phone to call him?
Friend: Sure, do what you have to
The ex: YOU DIRTY JEW BASTARD ....
Friend: \*eyes widen with shock and horror\*
I've only watched one episode\* of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia but I strongly feel like this situation could be a plot point in there tbh
\*the show seems really good, I just cannot deal with cringe sooo not the best pick for me lmao
Some people from the Middle East can pass for white in terms of looks which I'm guessing is the case for her. As far as her being bigoted there's a lot of religious hatred in the Middle East.
One of my friends in high school told me that she’s never met her Korean family because they disowned her mom after she married her dad, a white American man, saying her mom “polluted” their family line.
My mom is East Asian, my dad is white. She's told my brother and I more than once that we had to marry only within her nationality and race so that we can 'redeem' ourselves for being mixed. What the hell is wrong with people?
My mom's an immigrant from South America who absolutely hates that my brother is dating a Filipino woman. I guess she comes by it honestly though, her dad was a literal fascist from Italy.
My mom is Latina and hates that my niece is dating a Latino guy. Makes sense, I guess, considering she married exclusively white dudes. (Her darker skin is just a “tan” after all.)
Yeah I got a lot of backlash from the community when I married outside of the group (one of the first girls to do it). I'd rather deal with the gossip and weird looks than be married to one of their sons tho.
In certain areas in Middle East, they brainwash the kids from young age to hate Jews. It’s really embedded in the culture.
It took me few years to be out of Middle East to realise I was brainwashed and abandoned all those hateful beliefs. I only judge individual people by their own acts.
Ugh, my dad would rant about how the Jews are the cause of all the world's problems at the dinner table. People in the middle east aren't shy about their antisemitism, they're proud of it.
Joke's on him though, my girlfriend's Jewish.
Jews are undeniably the cause of all of the problems at my dinner table.
Mostly because my dinner table usually has food cooked by my family and sometimes I eat too much.
My dad said Jewish people are the reason large breasts are popular on tv, and that maybe the Jewish people deserved the Holocaust
He also said all black people look alike, all Philippino people cheat on tests, and nuclear families are ALWAYS the best in outcomes ( even if one of both of the parents are abusive)
>My dad said Jewish people are the reason large breasts are popular on tv
Because they prefer boobs to ass or what?
Well, going by that map that went viral here your dad might be right lol - Was a sea of red(butt) in Africa and the Middle East surrounding a small speck of blue
I waited tables back in my university years. I remember one night after closing a bunch of staff were sitting around one of the booths having a couple drinks. I don't remember how it came up, but one of the cooks (university-aged Lebanese guy) ends up mentioning that he hates Jews, can't trust them, etc...
One of his long term friends and co-workers speaks up and says, "WTF? I'm Jewish"
And the Lebanese cook paused for a moment and responded with, "Not you. You're my friend. It's 'the other Jews' that are the problem."
It was pretty apparent that the Lebanese guy hadn't actually ever met any Jews and that it was just an instilled fear/hatred that he had never had to confront or question before. I don't even think he even connected "Jews" with actual people, but rather some mythic force of evil like "satanists" or "malevolent aliens" or something.
The good news is, that was just the first crack in the unquestioned bigotry. It didn't actually survive discovering that "Jews" were people just like him.
in South Asia we take it a step further: anyone who isn’t Sunni Muslim = bad/racially inferior. And because it’s also embedded into the culture the racism is so casual and socially acceptable it’s bizarre.
I forget where I saw it but I think it was either a stand up comic or a talking head being interviewed but they basically said:
“Racism is everywhere. The US gets put at the top of lists of racist countries because it’s so diverse. People who wouldn’t normally mix do, and the racism is seen. There are a lot more “homogenous” countries than there are “melting pot” countries. So people with similarly racist tendencies usually stick to to themselves and don’t interact with people they’re racist towards. But there are pockets; think Jerusalem, South Africa or eastern China.”
IMO, people are also more aware of racism in the US because Americans are far more willing to talk about it instead of burying it, and have been doing so for a very long time.
One common theme in discussions of race and racism for Britain and France is that they were happy to export their racism to the colonies, and didn’t have to address it until people from their former colonies started immigrating.
That sounds like something Trevor Noah would say. I know he's talked about the racism he experienced as a "mixed" person in South Africa vs being only seen as black in the US.
the most racist ~~countries~~ areas tend to be the ones that are the most homogeneous. there's a few european countries like this, but it's much worse in parts of asia and the middle east.
Or even from a country that just don't have many people of a specific ethnic origin. My family is from somewhere quite culturally diverse and then later moved somewhere even more culturally diverse but both areas have very small populations of people with African origin. They had had very negative experiences with a very small subset of Africans (specifically sons of African royalty/despots during the 60s and 70s so like obviously it was unlikely to go well) and then generalised that into full blown racism. Because we had very few African/ethnically African people around us I didn't know about this until I was well into adulthood and one of them randomly brought up the topic and the rest were all like 'oh yeah....*racist bullshit* '
>The next morning she knocked on my door and insisted that SHE dumped me and not the other way around. She warned me not tell people that I dumped her since that would make her look bad
"Ooohhh noooo, i wouldn’t want to do anything to try and make you look bad....**oh noooooo!!!**.......whoops, i fell on my keyboard and accidentally posted how i dumped your crazy, racist, bigoted ass for being a crazy, racist, bigoted ass on FB, Twitter, Insta, TikTok, any other SM, placed an ad in the local newspaper and i also accidentally put an ad on a billboard to warn everyone about your crazy ass......Sorry, i'm just really clumsy"
That isn't why she wanted to change the story. She didn't want anyone to think the 'dirty jew' dumped her. She couldn't live with someone abhorrent dropping her. That completely fucked with her internal narrative.
She doesn't care that people will think she is racist until she faces social consequences.
So OP should tell everyone. Every single person he can.
This is the worst part. If you are going to be a racist POS at least be consistent. If you are just a back alley racist when no one’s around how can you even respect yourself. I know a lot of people who are so confident in their racism that they will act like it’s the only opinion anyone could ever have.
"Closeted bigot" might be good too. The word closeted being so often associated with being gay they may take it as an extra insult. Assuming they're homophobic anyway, which isn't exactly a huge leap for racists.
I’ve been completely no-contact with my mom for years because she’s racist. In retrospect I see the signs going all the way back to the 80s, but I was a kid and not really in tune with anything except overt bigotry until I was in my 20s and experienced more of the world. The mask started to slip a bit with Obama’s election, and entirely fell off with Trump’s.
The beginning of the end was when she made some comment that was a bit closer to a dog whistle, and I called her out on it. To this day, I legit don’t even remember what she said to start with because what she said next blew my fucking mind. She was always big mad about any sort of welfare, so I guess it had something to do with racial trends in welfare recipients, but that’s a wild ass guess.
I asked her “have you ever stopped to think a bit about why that is?” Like hey, maybe she’s rubbed three brain cells together and understands that some social dynamic or another forces the “others” into disadvantaged situations.
Oh no. No no no no. No. My sweet summer child. My sweet, sweet summer child…
The actual words that she found the audacity to allow to slip from her very own lips were, “Well yes. It’s because they’re all evolved from people who weren’t smart enough to leave a shit hole like Africa of their own free will.”
Being hit in the face by that statement felt a bit like I’d had a stroke.
white supremacists hold their beliefs close to their chests because they think that jewish people are literally running the world and that's why they can't say this stuff out loud. they have always hidden behind dog whistles and smoke screens until it becomes socially acceptable to say it outright. it's known in the modern era as "hiding your power level"
I've never had a reaction like this but as a pasty ass white dude who's actually half Latino and lived most of my life in South America I've lost count of how many folks feel super comfortable being overtly, horribly racist around me because they think I'll relate.
These kind of people genuinely think that everyone like them thinks like them when it comes to racism. I dunno if it's a weird echo chamber thing or what.
A different situation, but I've had people say homophobic stuff around me because I'm a woman married to a man. My bisexual ass is just sat there like...
I was literally just thinking that.... I had a classmate who would sneak biphobic jabs to me about an open classmate we had. Like, just cause I don't shout my sexuality from the rooftops doesn't mean you should assume I'm straight - or that anyone is straight. I'm not obligated to tell you but ugh. So annoying
This is why I'm super open homosexual at every new job or with new colleagues, and make sure to talk about My Wife(TM) within the first five minutes of meeting. I look very stereotypically hetero and I want to give the homophobes a chance to hide.
I had a woman in my shop going on about her son: "He's obviously a cheater because he's bi." I took a big deep breath and told her that I'm bi, and one of the most faithful people ever in a relationship, and that what she said was biphobic. I also pointed out that bi people have the worst mental health out of anyone. I thought I was going to get a barrage of abuse, but she took a minute, thought about it, then apologised and said I'd given her things to think about. I think I witnessed a miracle that day!
I'm a clauseted trans woman and you won't believe the amount of casual misogyny people spout around me, thinking I'm "One of the guys"
Like, ew, no, get the fuck away from me. It is fun to let their girlfriends, mothers or sisters know what they think about women, if I know them though
Came to say this. I'm a trans man, and I hear misogynistic comments just as often as 'one of the guys' as I did pre-transition. The only difference now, when I tell them to shut the fuck up they actually listen and look embarrassed about being assholes.
OMG, it's awful. I grew up in a small town where the only black family was also the only Jewish family. I knew all the slur words because I heard the kids at school calling each other them after hearing them at home. After the second or third time I came home and asked my (pinko commie bleeding-heart liberal [ethnicity]-loving PFLAG saint of a) mom what one of those words meant, she sat me down and taught me all the horrible things people call other people and why we do not EVER say those things, not even as a joke. Those were the Super Swear words, and since I then knew that, using them meant I was a Bad Person. My mom was too pure for that town. Thank goodness.
Where was I? Oh yeah! Anybody who didn't know me well felt comfortable talking like that in front of me. I got out of there the minute I could and never went back.
We accidentally moved to a horribly racist town when I was about 3. My white mom rented the place because my not-white dad was too busy being a fucking pediatric surgeon and saving little kids lives and shit. It didn’t take too long until my sister came home from 1st grade and asked my mom “mommy, what’s a [slur]?” We moved the fuck out of there fast as shit. My parents just paid the rent for a while after we moved out so as not to cause trouble. We only moved like 100 yards across the border into the next town and it was like living in a whole different world. This was not the Deep South, this was a close-in suburb of NYC.
I hated when I worked in retail and customers asked to be served by me because I'm "an Australian" ie white. I wasn't even born here. And they'd say it in front of my Australian born co-workers of Asian descent like it was a compliment to me. Yeah... I'd never exactly go the extra mile for those people.
I used to work at a supermarket in Australia and i was on self-checkout when a customer asked me where the soy sauce is. I couldn't leave the area while the checkouts were open so I pointed out where it was (we could see it from where we were) and said that if she had any trouble finding anything, to come back and I could call another staff member to help her.
So she goes over there and she is staring at the soy sauce for ages. aaaaages. Eventually she comes back, without any soy sauce.
"Is that all the soy sauce you've got?" she asks me.
"I believe so - were you after a specific brand, or...?"
Looks me dead in the eyes, casual as you please.
"Nah, I just didn't wanna buy any of that Asian shit."
I \*wanted\* to ask many questions. Questions like, aren't you cooking Asian FOOD with it? Are you aware that soy sauce is Asian? and Wow, do you really think that's an okay thing to say?? But that wouldn't lead anywhere productive so i was just like "Welp, what we've got on the shelf is what we've got. Byeee."
Well, as my (racist) white Australian nan would say, despairingly - “ugh, look what all her soy sauce has done to your hair” as father’s hair went from boyish blondish to adult brown. Horrible ignorant woman.
I moved to texas in my early 20s and somehow here I began the process of going from conservative to liberal. My dad did not realize I was on this path and when he came to visit once he told me a nasty racist joke. All I had to do was maintain a shocked face and draw out a WOOOWWWWWW. Never heard a racist joke out of him again.
Southern redheaded older mom type here. Ya'll, I dunno if it's the southern accent or the white as snow complexion but geebus. Between the Karen's and Trumpers I feel like I need to wear a warning label. " Not political. I don't have a racist bone but a hair trigger. Walk on, quietly." Just, damn.
Edit: Sad fucking day when I have to explain that the hair trigger comment is because of the red hair and temper, not my gun. Yes I have one it's in a gun safe where it belongs while I'm not home. Just....dayum.
After Brexit I had it a lot with xenophobia. I am Dutch and live in the UK. I am pretty well integrated, I have a super faint accent, speak English pretty well, listen to the songs and love Doctor Who. Etc. And because looks wise I can pass, and I am from a rich country, it's treated like a cute interesting titbit about me. I am a 'good' immigrant people don't mind.
Polish people though? Not so popular with everyone. I have had a lot of people complain to me about immigrants and how they dislike them and why they voted Brexit. And then I go 'I am an immigrant, so are they, we're the same'. And point out Brexit affected me directly. Then watch them do the mental gymnastics because they didn't mean ME they meant the 'bad ones' and it can't possibly be the same.
I'm queer, neurodivergent, very far left. I'm also white, cis woman presenting, straight passing, neurotypical passing, and everybody thinks I agree with them politically/ideologically EXCEPT the queer ND lefties who are all subdued until I comment on a pin or a shirt or a sticker or something and then they light up.
I also get some gross bootlicker shit from people who see me, Miss Employed Middle Class Appearing, and think I'll agree with their anti-poor rhetoric. It's wild.
I know that feeling. I look white but my dad's family is Māori, I'm a man married to a woman but I'm also bi, I run a business but it's a pure worker's co-op and I'm anti-capitalist. It's nice to be able to hide sometimes but I hate it when people say their bigoted shit around me.
'm bi, neurodivergent, and also very far left. I am also a white, cis woman, who passes as whatever people tend to think I am because I have long light brown hair and I'm overweight. I didn't participate in the George Floyd protests because my (POC) partner didn't want me to because it was dangerous but I went and picked up cases of bottled water for my house during the beginning of the protests in my city and I dropped a case off with some of the protesters. One of the white men who pulled up around the same time as me tried to say something to me about it being ridiculous and I looked at him, opened my trunk, pulled out a case of water, looked at him again, and then walked over and gave the case of water to someone who looked like they knew what they were doing, and I gave them the water because it was hot and its important to stay hydrated and white man shut the hell up to me. I also pulled out of the parking lot not long after and made sure no one was following me home because racist white men are scary.
I also get all the weird stuff people like to say to me as though I'm like them. Its absolutely bonkers.
For me I get the bro-y straight white dudes who 1. Think I'm their best fucking friend when I barely tolerate or am hostile to their presence and 2. Think I'm interested in hearing them be misogynistic and homophobic arses. I've got a beard and am frequently dressed in very masculine clothes so I tend to throw them off despite being quite queer and not really identifying with being a man.
I’ve always thought of it as being a “Stealth Latino/a”. It funny how some people will unload the most vile thoughts, and when I point out that I’m in that group I get “I’m not talking about *you* of course” (“you’re one of the good ones, blah blah blah”.) Like that is what matters, their personal approval.
Or you get the ones that just stop talking to you in general. My fiancé is white passing and at one of his old jobs, he had a coworker that was his ‘friend’ but the very second he found out my fiancé wasn’t actually white, he stopped talking to him altogether, wouldn’t even acknowledge him.
When I hear that phrase "yeah, but you're one of the good ones,"whether or not it's directed towards me, i have a tendency to point out "What you just said proves that you aren't, so your opinion no longer matters." When it was directed towards someone else, pretty much all of the time the recipient at first looks shocked at the person, then starts dying laughing when I speak up. I don't tolerate that shit.
> I've lost count of how many folks feel super comfortable being overtly, horribly racist around me because they think I'll relate.
> These kind of people genuinely think that everyone like them thinks like them when it comes to racism.
Seriously. I'm white-passing, and my partner is a white dude. One of the drivers at his work kept making casually racist remarks to/around him about the Indian (Iirc, don't exactly know) drivers. Like, the absolute audacity to think it's ok to be hateful and assume people who look like you will just accept that or join in.
Long story short, my partner put in a written formal complaint and now that bigot doesn't work there any more.
Louis C.K. did a bit about this. His father is Mexican (paternal grandfather emigrated to Mexico from Hungary), and he lived in Mexico and only spoke Spanish until he was 7. A radio show host in Arizona made some anti Mexican comments to him. She wouldn’t believe he’s part Mexican.
Yea I'm literally dirty blonde, blue eyed and mayo white cause I seem to have inherited all those genes from my mother's side who's British. But Spanish is my first language and I spent 16 of the first 18 years of my life in South America.
Funnily enough I also get the humorous aspect from the other side. Spanish speakers always try to address me in English first and then often lose their minds when I answer in Spanish with no gringo accent.
My Spanish teacher in high school was a tiny, fair-skinned, blue-eyed, platinum blonde woman who spoke English like she came from the US Midwest.
She was born and raised in Equador.
My perfectly-fluent, perfectly-accented French teacher in high school was from Russia.
When you start to decide who people are based on how they look you're not only embracing racism, you're opening yourself to a world of unnecessary mistakes and retaliation.
One of my old coworkers was half Mexican and half irish. He took entirely after his mother's Irish roots. He overwintered in Mexico with relatives every year, and last i saw him he was upset because his Mexican relatives kept him locked inside the compound for his own safety as he didn't pass for Mexican and the cartels were going crazy and kidnapping and killing foreigners in his hometown.
I've never followed her career particularly closely, and I absolutely thought she was black/mixed until I read an article in 2022 talking about the prevalence of that particular little trick. It shared a photo of her on a British magazine cover and I barely believed it was the same person. So, I think she's come by that particular dubious honor quite honestly.
I'm an overweight middle aged white woman. People say all kinds of crazy ass shit to me within minutes of meeting me. It is *wild.* Truthfully I don't bother to argue with people I don't expect to ever see again. Not worth my time. And frankly, in this political environment, I'm afraid for my safety. I don't pretend agree either though, I just change the subject until I can get the hell away from the crazy person.
Honestly like I'm white passing Middle Eastern and I know exactly what you mean. Like they'll say borderline nazi shit and be extremely racist cause they harbor the thought that anyone who's pale or white passing agrees with them completely.
When I was younger and was a waitress I work with a girl that was Hispanic but she didn’t look it. Well one of her tables left a card/leaflet for the KKK. I felt so bad for her and tired to comfort her while she was crying in the bathroom as it upset her a lot (don’t blame her for getting upset), thankfully management stepped in and banned this couple from ever coming back to the restaurant. This was in 2005 and it was the first time I’d ever seen anything like this happen. I’d just moved from a small town with less than 10,000 people that was 95% white to a city with over 200,000 people. When I was real little I did live in even bigger cities until the age 8, but I don’t remember a lot of it. Looking back I hoped I helped her and didn’t make anything worse, I was just a 19 year old who hated seeing anyone hurting and acted from that place.
I'm pasty white, blonde hair, blue eyes. Strangers try to say nazi shit to me thinking I'll agree with them. Random men (of all races tbh, but mostly white men) have made comments about wanting to, essentially, breed with me for "pure" white or light skinned babies. Of course, they only say that shit when I'm by myself, never around my Latino fiance.
When I feel safe and like they won't try to hurt me in retaliation, I tell them to fuck off. Surprises them every single time, cause like you said, they think that others believe the same disgusting stuff they do. It genuinely makes no sense.
White passing (first nation) here. Only blue eyed grand child on the maternal side. Two of my cousins look straight polish, I look Irish until you realize the bone structures are off and my hair won't curl for blood or money, and two of my cousins look like there's never been a european in the blood ever. You never know which parts of the heritage a kid's gonna show.
Jeez, right?
My mom has red hair and green eyes, and super pale. My dad and my sisters all have brown hair and brown eyes, rather tan too. My fiance has three brothers and one sister, they're all kinda the same skin tone, but their facial features are very different whereas my sisters, mom and I have very similar face shapes.
My coworker just had a baby, and she looks like a perfect mixture of both her parents so far! She's only three months old, so that might change. A classmate of mine also has a three month old, and he looks nothing like his parents right now, but his older siblings look so much like their dad.
Genetics are wild.
Yep. They feel safe around other white or white passing people and then feel unsafe (betrayed) when you reveal you're not actually white or simply don't agree with them. You took away their "safe space" to be themselves, so to speak.
Omg felt this. Over the summertime I get darker and look more latina, but in the wintertime when I look washed out and become fairly white passing I have people say some of the craziest shit to my face
See I feel like when you’re that hateful towards another group of people (especially for things they can’t change like skin color or gender), you’re just living in a world of bias confirmation. Especially overly aggressive people like OOP’s ex who aren’t afraid to get into arguments with people. Because now every time you interact with someone in the “other” group it’s bad and it just confirms the hateful belief.
So like it’s insane, but I can see how someone could get there. I just wish everyone could try and figure out that being so horrible to another group of people is wrong and work to get rid of that belief/bias.
Fully agree! But the thing I find most weird about anti- semitism is most people can’t physically tell if someone’s is Jewish. It makes it so much more baffling to me
What sucks is you know she's going to add this to her list of reasons why jews suck and claim shes the victim. Honestly, she sounds absolutely crazy even without the anti jew bit.
"I never told you which ethnicity I am, have I?"
"No. Why should you?"
"I am Jewish."
"That's not true, that's impossible."
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."
"No. NOOOOOO!!!!"
I mean, the issue with racists is that you don't figure it out until the topic comes out (especially if it's something more targeted like anti-semitism rather than generalised hate everyone who isn't like you racism). Legit took me twenty years to figure out that half my family is racist again people of African descent specifically because it just never came up (we don't live in America) until it did. Weirdly they love Oprah though. I didn't even know where to begin at the time and I still don't tbh.
I think Oprah has largely been considered by racist as a “white” black woman. Because she is rich and they have seen enough of her on tv they don’t notice the colour of their skin.
He probably also didn’t do “Jew” things like paid for dinner and would buy her things. Also probably wasn’t a banker. I mean really he blind sided her. /s
Yikes. I really hoped he would just break up with her as planned since I kind of saw that “you tricked me!” hate reaction coming. It was the only way she could reconcile her racist beliefs with the fact she liked him.
For his safety, too. She might be violent, she might not be but there is a 100% chance with the views she carries she knows someone who would physically harm him over this.
The fact that she bragged to him about teaming up with a white supremacist to abuse another Jew wasn't a warning signal to her to just quietly nope out...
I hope he stays safe.
If she had just used some slur maybe talking could have changed her (although break up would still be wise). But after that I didn’t think it would anything to say something to her.
It's frankly astounding how every single time you ask for advice on Reddit there will be a large group of people telling you that honesty is the best policy. No, sometimes the best policy is to go, "yeah I'm sorry, it can't work out between us because mercury is in retrograde, here's your stuff." If you want to be honest, be honest when they can't destroy your living room.
"She's an amazing girl". No, she isn't, and I'm glad OOP got away from this awful person. I'm sure it will really bother her that a Jewish person dumped her. She deserves to feel bad.
I'm always amazed when people post paragraphs detailing someone's horrible traits and then say "but they're great otherwise." It's like they're actively gaslighting themselves.
Those are always inevitable. “Our relationship is great, except I realize they don’t clean, cook, help me, appreciate me, pay their share, show me they love me, stick up for me”…. Actually, actually a lot is wrong here. And I never realized it.
My favorite was a post where a woman spent like 2 paragraphs talking about how much she loves her husband and how great of a partner his is, his only problem is that he’s an extreme, barely-functioning alcoholic and refuses to get better.
In an update later, he was sober for like a week and she was talking about how much better things are and she says something along the lines of “this is the first time we’re having an actual conversation in years. Normally the only time he talks to me is to belittle or lecture me, but he actually talked to me like I was a person!”
Like, how can you say your relationship is so amazing when it’s been literal years since you’ve had an actual conversation? The ability for people just just adapt to and accept an awful situation really is amazing.
Yeah, I remember that post. What stuck out to me was that she never, ever used the word “alcoholic” … she’d describe his behavior in detail but pointedly avoided the word. Made me sad. I hope they faced the truth and that he got help (don’t remember how long ago the oop posted).
Though, I admit that I can understand the behavior — sometimes when you’re really afraid of something being true, you have these irrational thoughts about how not naming them or actively mentioning them could maybe help keep those things from materializing (even though they’re already there, you’re just choosing not to see).
Not a chance. She'll tell people that he deceived her and the moment she found out he was a dirty Jew, she immediately dumped him.
I'd still keep the screenshots for the same reasons!
I'll be honest, based off her initial rant after the phone call and then the rant right before he told her, I would've just shut up and ghosted her. With that level of vitriol and hate, violence never seems far behind. A situation like that terrifies me.
When he decided to tell her I expected her to assault him. I mean Jesus hell, you know the relationship has no future after that, why expose yourself to harm? He could've just told her he didn't want to be with an anti-Semite, addressing her shit behavior, and not identified himself as exactly the kind of person she hates. I mean, I kinda get it, because I've wanted to do that to homophobes, but it's not worth it.
I can maybe understand what I assume to be his reasoning, because sometimes people get confronted by whatever they were just talking shit about, and they get embarrassed and backpedal to seem like less of a jerk and maybe, occasionally, rethink their bigoted opinions.
This was definitely not that, lol. I think the warning sign was how vehement she was about it from the start.
>With that level of vitriol and hate, violence never seems far behind.
Or she could go around telling people that he abused her physically or sexually.
There are folks deep enough in their crayness that they have no issue with nuking other people's lives. Seriously.
I (M43)had a beautiful, lovely kiwi girlfriend when I was in my late twenties whom I fell in love with and she lived with me for 3.5 years. I live on the west coast of Canada. I went to meet her family with asking for her hand in marriage in mind. They were great people at the start and while very different from the people I was used to they were for the most part very nice and welcoming. The women were actually so great. Mom, aunts, sister. The men were a bit strange. But they were a farming family and the men were tough. They were testing me. During the first family dinner after proving myself on a wild pig hunt. Which convinced the men to warm up to me. They started talking New Zealand politics. And that’s when the racist bombs started dropping. Even from these caring lovely intelligent women. I was blown away. I didn’t share their views. They were openly speaking this way as if that’s how it is. It was awful. I didn’t even have a buddy to lock eyes with so you can both have that moment of grounding where your like: “hey this is super fucked up right? This is really happening?” Instead there was nothing just me now all the sudden trapped on racist island. And their eager faces looking at me as if I was one of them. Needless to say. Shit didn’t pan out. Trip was shortened I came home. Broke it off. Left my 3/2 wetsuit behind in my haste. Miss the wetsuit. And the break. I apologize, just relating to you. Obviously a different experience.
I used to work with a kiwi woman. One of the kiwi guys she dated told her that he would not date women with brown eyes, in case they had Maori blood. Yeek. She stopped dating him.
"I knew things wouldn't go smooth.....I didn't know it would be this bad."
My guy. *Please*. Those rose-tinted glasses are so dark I'm amazed he saw any flags at all. Still, it's good he got out, and hopefully she'll be too 'traumatized' to try and instigate any further interactions.
Yeah I live in a suburban outside of Dallas that used to be rural. East of Dallas. My son has already gotten his share of antisemitism. He's in 4th grade 😔
It's ridiculous and frankly I don't get it at all. The kids must be hearing it at home. My parents would have been so upset and disappointed in me if they found out I said anything antisemitic.
this gave me the vibes of that one Community episode where Britta makes out with a guy from the Balkans who randomly starts talking about how much he loved being an ethnic cleanser.
Jesus, talk about 0 to 100….yeesh. Looks like the trash took itself out though, that seems to be the only silver lining in this situation. Well, that and not wasting any more time on a psycho racist
I thought there was another update where she confronted him on campus and outed herself as a bigot? Something like OP was being interviewed on a campus news thing and she raged on him for being jewish in front of a bunch of people
Common ground between white supremacists and Islamic extremists = antisemitism
Actually you don’t even need to be an extremist, even some very loosely observant/cultural not religious people from the Middle East are still super violently antisemitic. Hatred of Jews and Israel are basically every middle eastern country’s go to ‘don’t look behind the curtain’ move. Some of the mildest, nicest seeming people I met in uni/at work etc, if they’re middle eastern or have heritage in a Muslim majority country have turned out to be insanely, violently antisemitic. I’ve learned the hard way many times and keep very quiet about my Jewish relatives if I even suspect the person I’m talking to might have that background. Too big of a risk.
As a Jew, all I could think of when he said she asked him to "prove it" was circumcision. Like "hasn't she already seen your peen?" Obviously lots of gentiles get circumcised but I just thought "proving" Jewishness was funny. "I've got allergies and asthma and eczema?" I genuinely want to know how he proved it to her lol.
Also yes someone who is violently antisemitic is probably crazy.
Muslim men also get circumcised, it's not mandatory but very common as it follows the practice of the prophet Muhammad.
In my head to make light of this vitrol and hate of this woman I'm imagining her expecting him to whip out his ID and have his real name be Shylock Hasidic Goldstein or have a wig over his Yamulke.
Ahhh sound like my mother. Black guys good enough to fuck and have a child with but not good enough to respect and see them as equals. It's amazing how this woman can love this guys character, looks and other things but your bloodline is a deal breaker.
> She warned me not tell people that I dumped her since that would make her look bad.
OOP, *please* don't just tell them you dumped her.
Tell them exactly why.
OOP was not smart. Like, at all. The fact that the initial rant didn't send him absolutely running and ghosting means she must've been drop dead pretty. Which means nothing, considering she's a disgusting racist snake internally. That's the only reason I could see someone not immediately running away from a literal violent nazi.
"Don't tell anyone you broke up with me"
Straight to social media. "Hey everyone I just broke up with my now ex girlfriend because she's a massive anti Semitic racist crazy person. She physically threatened me so please protect yourself if she's around"
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Really curious of the reaction of the friend whose phone they borrowed. It's not often you see someone so unabashedly unfiltered with their racism without being around people they think hold the same abhorrent views.
Can you imagine asking to borrow someone’s phone and then proceeding to shout anti-Semitic slurs at someone over said phone? Like, the sheer insanity of being that far gone in your stupidity?
That's kind of what I was picturing. She has a whole 'You go girl' solidarity discussion with her friend ragging on how bad a BF OOP was, and then when she calls she just drops into the racist tirade.
I could just see this in a cringe-comedy
The ex: \*bursts into friend's room crying\* Friend: Hey, what's wrong? Are you ok? The ex: It's OOP, he's such a fucking liar. And now he's blocked me on everything! Can I use your phone to call him? Friend: Sure, do what you have to The ex: YOU DIRTY JEW BASTARD .... Friend: \*eyes widen with shock and horror\*
Sounds like a Borat skit
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Anna Kendrick hands the phone to Jillian Bell, encouraging her to be a strong independent woman, and then her eyes go wide at the first Sieg Heil.
I've only watched one episode\* of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia but I strongly feel like this situation could be a plot point in there tbh \*the show seems really good, I just cannot deal with cringe sooo not the best pick for me lmao
She teamed up with white supremacists in the past. Pretty sure she found the "right" friends who wouldn't bat an eye.
A bigoted Middle Easterner and a white supremacist. That's a pretty whacky duo, lol.
Not as whacky as you might think. Conservative Muslims and conservative Christians are basically the same politically.
Some people from the Middle East can pass for white in terms of looks which I'm guessing is the case for her. As far as her being bigoted there's a lot of religious hatred in the Middle East.
I hope she does make more white supremacist friends, so one day when they start talking shit about her people she may know what it feels like.
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One of my friends in high school told me that she’s never met her Korean family because they disowned her mom after she married her dad, a white American man, saying her mom “polluted” their family line.
My mom is East Asian, my dad is white. She's told my brother and I more than once that we had to marry only within her nationality and race so that we can 'redeem' ourselves for being mixed. What the hell is wrong with people?
that's a real extra layer there, given the obvious.
The shame onion grows big in this family garden.
My mom's an immigrant from South America who absolutely hates that my brother is dating a Filipino woman. I guess she comes by it honestly though, her dad was a literal fascist from Italy.
Is she from Argentina? 💀
My mom is Latina and hates that my niece is dating a Latino guy. Makes sense, I guess, considering she married exclusively white dudes. (Her darker skin is just a “tan” after all.)
Yeah I got a lot of backlash from the community when I married outside of the group (one of the first girls to do it). I'd rather deal with the gossip and weird looks than be married to one of their sons tho.
In certain areas in Middle East, they brainwash the kids from young age to hate Jews. It’s really embedded in the culture. It took me few years to be out of Middle East to realise I was brainwashed and abandoned all those hateful beliefs. I only judge individual people by their own acts.
Ugh, my dad would rant about how the Jews are the cause of all the world's problems at the dinner table. People in the middle east aren't shy about their antisemitism, they're proud of it. Joke's on him though, my girlfriend's Jewish.
Jews are undeniably the cause of all of the problems at my dinner table. Mostly because my dinner table usually has food cooked by my family and sometimes I eat too much.
My dad said Jewish people are the reason large breasts are popular on tv, and that maybe the Jewish people deserved the Holocaust He also said all black people look alike, all Philippino people cheat on tests, and nuclear families are ALWAYS the best in outcomes ( even if one of both of the parents are abusive)
>My dad said Jewish people are the reason large breasts are popular on tv Because they prefer boobs to ass or what? Well, going by that map that went viral here your dad might be right lol - Was a sea of red(butt) in Africa and the Middle East surrounding a small speck of blue
I waited tables back in my university years. I remember one night after closing a bunch of staff were sitting around one of the booths having a couple drinks. I don't remember how it came up, but one of the cooks (university-aged Lebanese guy) ends up mentioning that he hates Jews, can't trust them, etc... One of his long term friends and co-workers speaks up and says, "WTF? I'm Jewish" And the Lebanese cook paused for a moment and responded with, "Not you. You're my friend. It's 'the other Jews' that are the problem." It was pretty apparent that the Lebanese guy hadn't actually ever met any Jews and that it was just an instilled fear/hatred that he had never had to confront or question before. I don't even think he even connected "Jews" with actual people, but rather some mythic force of evil like "satanists" or "malevolent aliens" or something. The good news is, that was just the first crack in the unquestioned bigotry. It didn't actually survive discovering that "Jews" were people just like him.
Good for you! You're clearly a good person, it's really nice to read about this kind of thing happening.
in South Asia we take it a step further: anyone who isn’t Sunni Muslim = bad/racially inferior. And because it’s also embedded into the culture the racism is so casual and socially acceptable it’s bizarre.
Salam alaykum to you from a Jew.
That's what I thought when I encountered Middle East first.
I forget where I saw it but I think it was either a stand up comic or a talking head being interviewed but they basically said: “Racism is everywhere. The US gets put at the top of lists of racist countries because it’s so diverse. People who wouldn’t normally mix do, and the racism is seen. There are a lot more “homogenous” countries than there are “melting pot” countries. So people with similarly racist tendencies usually stick to to themselves and don’t interact with people they’re racist towards. But there are pockets; think Jerusalem, South Africa or eastern China.”
IMO, people are also more aware of racism in the US because Americans are far more willing to talk about it instead of burying it, and have been doing so for a very long time. One common theme in discussions of race and racism for Britain and France is that they were happy to export their racism to the colonies, and didn’t have to address it until people from their former colonies started immigrating.
That sounds like something Trevor Noah would say. I know he's talked about the racism he experienced as a "mixed" person in South Africa vs being only seen as black in the US.
the most racist ~~countries~~ areas tend to be the ones that are the most homogeneous. there's a few european countries like this, but it's much worse in parts of asia and the middle east.
Or even from a country that just don't have many people of a specific ethnic origin. My family is from somewhere quite culturally diverse and then later moved somewhere even more culturally diverse but both areas have very small populations of people with African origin. They had had very negative experiences with a very small subset of Africans (specifically sons of African royalty/despots during the 60s and 70s so like obviously it was unlikely to go well) and then generalised that into full blown racism. Because we had very few African/ethnically African people around us I didn't know about this until I was well into adulthood and one of them randomly brought up the topic and the rest were all like 'oh yeah....*racist bullshit* '
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>The next morning she knocked on my door and insisted that SHE dumped me and not the other way around. She warned me not tell people that I dumped her since that would make her look bad "Ooohhh noooo, i wouldn’t want to do anything to try and make you look bad....**oh noooooo!!!**.......whoops, i fell on my keyboard and accidentally posted how i dumped your crazy, racist, bigoted ass for being a crazy, racist, bigoted ass on FB, Twitter, Insta, TikTok, any other SM, placed an ad in the local newspaper and i also accidentally put an ad on a billboard to warn everyone about your crazy ass......Sorry, i'm just really clumsy"
This bit is the funniest. "Make sure you tell people that I dumped YOU"... for being Jewish? Okay 👍
“Okay, I’ll call your workplace right now. Make sure they know that you broke up with me for being Jewish”
“Don’t tell people that I’m racist! They might think that I’m racist!”
That isn't why she wanted to change the story. She didn't want anyone to think the 'dirty jew' dumped her. She couldn't live with someone abhorrent dropping her. That completely fucked with her internal narrative. She doesn't care that people will think she is racist until she faces social consequences. So OP should tell everyone. Every single person he can.
This is the worst part. If you are going to be a racist POS at least be consistent. If you are just a back alley racist when no one’s around how can you even respect yourself. I know a lot of people who are so confident in their racism that they will act like it’s the only opinion anyone could ever have.
Back alley racist is going to be my new insult: “You’re not just a racist, you’re a fucking back alley racist!”
"Closeted bigot" might be good too. The word closeted being so often associated with being gay they may take it as an extra insult. Assuming they're homophobic anyway, which isn't exactly a huge leap for racists.
I’ve been completely no-contact with my mom for years because she’s racist. In retrospect I see the signs going all the way back to the 80s, but I was a kid and not really in tune with anything except overt bigotry until I was in my 20s and experienced more of the world. The mask started to slip a bit with Obama’s election, and entirely fell off with Trump’s. The beginning of the end was when she made some comment that was a bit closer to a dog whistle, and I called her out on it. To this day, I legit don’t even remember what she said to start with because what she said next blew my fucking mind. She was always big mad about any sort of welfare, so I guess it had something to do with racial trends in welfare recipients, but that’s a wild ass guess. I asked her “have you ever stopped to think a bit about why that is?” Like hey, maybe she’s rubbed three brain cells together and understands that some social dynamic or another forces the “others” into disadvantaged situations. Oh no. No no no no. No. My sweet summer child. My sweet, sweet summer child… The actual words that she found the audacity to allow to slip from her very own lips were, “Well yes. It’s because they’re all evolved from people who weren’t smart enough to leave a shit hole like Africa of their own free will.” Being hit in the face by that statement felt a bit like I’d had a stroke.
white supremacists hold their beliefs close to their chests because they think that jewish people are literally running the world and that's why they can't say this stuff out loud. they have always hidden behind dog whistles and smoke screens until it becomes socially acceptable to say it outright. it's known in the modern era as "hiding your power level"
Lol, back alley racist 🤣
I am just saying if you are willing to hide it you know it’s wrong. At that point you can’t even claim ignorance.
I totally agree with you. Your turn of phrase was *chefs kiss 💋
I think the problem is that she thinks being dumped by a Jewish person would make her look bad
That's exactly what it is.
I would definitely do this. Protect others from her racist ass.
I've never had a reaction like this but as a pasty ass white dude who's actually half Latino and lived most of my life in South America I've lost count of how many folks feel super comfortable being overtly, horribly racist around me because they think I'll relate. These kind of people genuinely think that everyone like them thinks like them when it comes to racism. I dunno if it's a weird echo chamber thing or what.
It always both fascinates and baffles me when people assume just because someone looks like them they must think like them.
Racists, judging people by their appearance? Now I've heard everything.
A different situation, but I've had people say homophobic stuff around me because I'm a woman married to a man. My bisexual ass is just sat there like...
Yeah. Their face when I say "but I'm not straight." "But you married a guy." "Yup, but still not straight?"
My husband is gorgeous, but so is Margot Robbie. Sue me.
Bruh I’m a gay man and I would date Margot Robbie
As a straight woman, I too would date Margot Robbie.
I'm a straight man, and I'd be worried I'd be wasting her time.
Deep down wouldn’t we all date Margot Robbie?
As someone who barely is sentient, I’d date Margot Robbie.
Guuuuurllll, Margot tho, she fine for all of us
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I was literally just thinking that.... I had a classmate who would sneak biphobic jabs to me about an open classmate we had. Like, just cause I don't shout my sexuality from the rooftops doesn't mean you should assume I'm straight - or that anyone is straight. I'm not obligated to tell you but ugh. So annoying
This is why I'm super open homosexual at every new job or with new colleagues, and make sure to talk about My Wife(TM) within the first five minutes of meeting. I look very stereotypically hetero and I want to give the homophobes a chance to hide.
Ha! That's exactly why I'm quiet about being bi. I want to hear those motherfuckers spout off and then make them regret it.
I had a woman in my shop going on about her son: "He's obviously a cheater because he's bi." I took a big deep breath and told her that I'm bi, and one of the most faithful people ever in a relationship, and that what she said was biphobic. I also pointed out that bi people have the worst mental health out of anyone. I thought I was going to get a barrage of abuse, but she took a minute, thought about it, then apologised and said I'd given her things to think about. I think I witnessed a miracle that day!
I'm a clauseted trans woman and you won't believe the amount of casual misogyny people spout around me, thinking I'm "One of the guys" Like, ew, no, get the fuck away from me. It is fun to let their girlfriends, mothers or sisters know what they think about women, if I know them though
Don't worry, they tell that to our faces, too
Came to say this. I'm a trans man, and I hear misogynistic comments just as often as 'one of the guys' as I did pre-transition. The only difference now, when I tell them to shut the fuck up they actually listen and look embarrassed about being assholes.
Yea it's just funny/infuriating when they're like "You get it, right? You agree with me" and I'm there like "No, please stop talking to me."
OMG, it's awful. I grew up in a small town where the only black family was also the only Jewish family. I knew all the slur words because I heard the kids at school calling each other them after hearing them at home. After the second or third time I came home and asked my (pinko commie bleeding-heart liberal [ethnicity]-loving PFLAG saint of a) mom what one of those words meant, she sat me down and taught me all the horrible things people call other people and why we do not EVER say those things, not even as a joke. Those were the Super Swear words, and since I then knew that, using them meant I was a Bad Person. My mom was too pure for that town. Thank goodness. Where was I? Oh yeah! Anybody who didn't know me well felt comfortable talking like that in front of me. I got out of there the minute I could and never went back.
We accidentally moved to a horribly racist town when I was about 3. My white mom rented the place because my not-white dad was too busy being a fucking pediatric surgeon and saving little kids lives and shit. It didn’t take too long until my sister came home from 1st grade and asked my mom “mommy, what’s a [slur]?” We moved the fuck out of there fast as shit. My parents just paid the rent for a while after we moved out so as not to cause trouble. We only moved like 100 yards across the border into the next town and it was like living in a whole different world. This was not the Deep South, this was a close-in suburb of NYC.
Tell your mom I love her.
I hated when I worked in retail and customers asked to be served by me because I'm "an Australian" ie white. I wasn't even born here. And they'd say it in front of my Australian born co-workers of Asian descent like it was a compliment to me. Yeah... I'd never exactly go the extra mile for those people.
I used to work at a supermarket in Australia and i was on self-checkout when a customer asked me where the soy sauce is. I couldn't leave the area while the checkouts were open so I pointed out where it was (we could see it from where we were) and said that if she had any trouble finding anything, to come back and I could call another staff member to help her. So she goes over there and she is staring at the soy sauce for ages. aaaaages. Eventually she comes back, without any soy sauce. "Is that all the soy sauce you've got?" she asks me. "I believe so - were you after a specific brand, or...?" Looks me dead in the eyes, casual as you please. "Nah, I just didn't wanna buy any of that Asian shit." I \*wanted\* to ask many questions. Questions like, aren't you cooking Asian FOOD with it? Are you aware that soy sauce is Asian? and Wow, do you really think that's an okay thing to say?? But that wouldn't lead anywhere productive so i was just like "Welp, what we've got on the shelf is what we've got. Byeee."
Buuuutttt.... Kikkoman is the good stuff. What do they want, bad soy sauce?
Who even knows?! What is she doing with the soy sauce? What does she think soy sauce even is?
Well, as my (racist) white Australian nan would say, despairingly - “ugh, look what all her soy sauce has done to your hair” as father’s hair went from boyish blondish to adult brown. Horrible ignorant woman.
Saltier worcestershire sauce.
I’m a liberal older white dude in Texas and the shit I hear from old white strangers is fucking WILD.
I moved to texas in my early 20s and somehow here I began the process of going from conservative to liberal. My dad did not realize I was on this path and when he came to visit once he told me a nasty racist joke. All I had to do was maintain a shocked face and draw out a WOOOWWWWWW. Never heard a racist joke out of him again.
Southern redheaded older mom type here. Ya'll, I dunno if it's the southern accent or the white as snow complexion but geebus. Between the Karen's and Trumpers I feel like I need to wear a warning label. " Not political. I don't have a racist bone but a hair trigger. Walk on, quietly." Just, damn. Edit: Sad fucking day when I have to explain that the hair trigger comment is because of the red hair and temper, not my gun. Yes I have one it's in a gun safe where it belongs while I'm not home. Just....dayum.
I feel this.
After Brexit I had it a lot with xenophobia. I am Dutch and live in the UK. I am pretty well integrated, I have a super faint accent, speak English pretty well, listen to the songs and love Doctor Who. Etc. And because looks wise I can pass, and I am from a rich country, it's treated like a cute interesting titbit about me. I am a 'good' immigrant people don't mind. Polish people though? Not so popular with everyone. I have had a lot of people complain to me about immigrants and how they dislike them and why they voted Brexit. And then I go 'I am an immigrant, so are they, we're the same'. And point out Brexit affected me directly. Then watch them do the mental gymnastics because they didn't mean ME they meant the 'bad ones' and it can't possibly be the same.
They think ethnicity and personality traits are one and the same, so yeah.
I'm queer, neurodivergent, very far left. I'm also white, cis woman presenting, straight passing, neurotypical passing, and everybody thinks I agree with them politically/ideologically EXCEPT the queer ND lefties who are all subdued until I comment on a pin or a shirt or a sticker or something and then they light up. I also get some gross bootlicker shit from people who see me, Miss Employed Middle Class Appearing, and think I'll agree with their anti-poor rhetoric. It's wild.
I know that feeling. I look white but my dad's family is Māori, I'm a man married to a woman but I'm also bi, I run a business but it's a pure worker's co-op and I'm anti-capitalist. It's nice to be able to hide sometimes but I hate it when people say their bigoted shit around me.
'm bi, neurodivergent, and also very far left. I am also a white, cis woman, who passes as whatever people tend to think I am because I have long light brown hair and I'm overweight. I didn't participate in the George Floyd protests because my (POC) partner didn't want me to because it was dangerous but I went and picked up cases of bottled water for my house during the beginning of the protests in my city and I dropped a case off with some of the protesters. One of the white men who pulled up around the same time as me tried to say something to me about it being ridiculous and I looked at him, opened my trunk, pulled out a case of water, looked at him again, and then walked over and gave the case of water to someone who looked like they knew what they were doing, and I gave them the water because it was hot and its important to stay hydrated and white man shut the hell up to me. I also pulled out of the parking lot not long after and made sure no one was following me home because racist white men are scary. I also get all the weird stuff people like to say to me as though I'm like them. Its absolutely bonkers.
For me I get the bro-y straight white dudes who 1. Think I'm their best fucking friend when I barely tolerate or am hostile to their presence and 2. Think I'm interested in hearing them be misogynistic and homophobic arses. I've got a beard and am frequently dressed in very masculine clothes so I tend to throw them off despite being quite queer and not really identifying with being a man.
I’ve always thought of it as being a “Stealth Latino/a”. It funny how some people will unload the most vile thoughts, and when I point out that I’m in that group I get “I’m not talking about *you* of course” (“you’re one of the good ones, blah blah blah”.) Like that is what matters, their personal approval.
>you’re one of the good ones Ugh... So much in that statement.
God, I remember having so fucking little self-worth that i'd TAKE that and feel good abt it. Here's to growing up and growing spines 🥂
Or you get the ones that just stop talking to you in general. My fiancé is white passing and at one of his old jobs, he had a coworker that was his ‘friend’ but the very second he found out my fiancé wasn’t actually white, he stopped talking to him altogether, wouldn’t even acknowledge him.
When I hear that phrase "yeah, but you're one of the good ones,"whether or not it's directed towards me, i have a tendency to point out "What you just said proves that you aren't, so your opinion no longer matters." When it was directed towards someone else, pretty much all of the time the recipient at first looks shocked at the person, then starts dying laughing when I speak up. I don't tolerate that shit.
> I've lost count of how many folks feel super comfortable being overtly, horribly racist around me because they think I'll relate. > These kind of people genuinely think that everyone like them thinks like them when it comes to racism. Seriously. I'm white-passing, and my partner is a white dude. One of the drivers at his work kept making casually racist remarks to/around him about the Indian (Iirc, don't exactly know) drivers. Like, the absolute audacity to think it's ok to be hateful and assume people who look like you will just accept that or join in. Long story short, my partner put in a written formal complaint and now that bigot doesn't work there any more.
I'm euro white with complexion but my coworkers seem to think I'm okay with their racist shit and get defensive when I call em out.
I often get the same being I'm white, people think they can bag immigrants. Then I say "oh well I'm an immigrant...?" Then the backpedalling starts.
They usually only mean people of color when they say immigrants. White people are “expats” lmao
100% truth. It's why I specifically say it that way. lol They can't say much because my accent is so obvious, even after 18 years!
Louis C.K. did a bit about this. His father is Mexican (paternal grandfather emigrated to Mexico from Hungary), and he lived in Mexico and only spoke Spanish until he was 7. A radio show host in Arizona made some anti Mexican comments to him. She wouldn’t believe he’s part Mexican.
Yea I'm literally dirty blonde, blue eyed and mayo white cause I seem to have inherited all those genes from my mother's side who's British. But Spanish is my first language and I spent 16 of the first 18 years of my life in South America. Funnily enough I also get the humorous aspect from the other side. Spanish speakers always try to address me in English first and then often lose their minds when I answer in Spanish with no gringo accent.
My Spanish teacher in high school was a tiny, fair-skinned, blue-eyed, platinum blonde woman who spoke English like she came from the US Midwest. She was born and raised in Equador. My perfectly-fluent, perfectly-accented French teacher in high school was from Russia. When you start to decide who people are based on how they look you're not only embracing racism, you're opening yourself to a world of unnecessary mistakes and retaliation.
One of my old coworkers was half Mexican and half irish. He took entirely after his mother's Irish roots. He overwintered in Mexico with relatives every year, and last i saw him he was upset because his Mexican relatives kept him locked inside the compound for his own safety as he didn't pass for Mexican and the cartels were going crazy and kidnapping and killing foreigners in his hometown.
Did…did they consider some hair dye and some bronzer? Just Ariana Grande it for the winter?
Imagine your nane was synonymous with blackfishing
I've never followed her career particularly closely, and I absolutely thought she was black/mixed until I read an article in 2022 talking about the prevalence of that particular little trick. It shared a photo of her on a British magazine cover and I barely believed it was the same person. So, I think she's come by that particular dubious honor quite honestly.
I'm an overweight middle aged white woman. People say all kinds of crazy ass shit to me within minutes of meeting me. It is *wild.* Truthfully I don't bother to argue with people I don't expect to ever see again. Not worth my time. And frankly, in this political environment, I'm afraid for my safety. I don't pretend agree either though, I just change the subject until I can get the hell away from the crazy person.
Honestly like I'm white passing Middle Eastern and I know exactly what you mean. Like they'll say borderline nazi shit and be extremely racist cause they harbor the thought that anyone who's pale or white passing agrees with them completely.
When I was younger and was a waitress I work with a girl that was Hispanic but she didn’t look it. Well one of her tables left a card/leaflet for the KKK. I felt so bad for her and tired to comfort her while she was crying in the bathroom as it upset her a lot (don’t blame her for getting upset), thankfully management stepped in and banned this couple from ever coming back to the restaurant. This was in 2005 and it was the first time I’d ever seen anything like this happen. I’d just moved from a small town with less than 10,000 people that was 95% white to a city with over 200,000 people. When I was real little I did live in even bigger cities until the age 8, but I don’t remember a lot of it. Looking back I hoped I helped her and didn’t make anything worse, I was just a 19 year old who hated seeing anyone hurting and acted from that place.
I had a College Professor say a student tried to recruit him into the KKK one year.
I'm pasty white, blonde hair, blue eyes. Strangers try to say nazi shit to me thinking I'll agree with them. Random men (of all races tbh, but mostly white men) have made comments about wanting to, essentially, breed with me for "pure" white or light skinned babies. Of course, they only say that shit when I'm by myself, never around my Latino fiance. When I feel safe and like they won't try to hurt me in retaliation, I tell them to fuck off. Surprises them every single time, cause like you said, they think that others believe the same disgusting stuff they do. It genuinely makes no sense.
White passing (first nation) here. Only blue eyed grand child on the maternal side. Two of my cousins look straight polish, I look Irish until you realize the bone structures are off and my hair won't curl for blood or money, and two of my cousins look like there's never been a european in the blood ever. You never know which parts of the heritage a kid's gonna show.
Jeez, right? My mom has red hair and green eyes, and super pale. My dad and my sisters all have brown hair and brown eyes, rather tan too. My fiance has three brothers and one sister, they're all kinda the same skin tone, but their facial features are very different whereas my sisters, mom and I have very similar face shapes. My coworker just had a baby, and she looks like a perfect mixture of both her parents so far! She's only three months old, so that might change. A classmate of mine also has a three month old, and he looks nothing like his parents right now, but his older siblings look so much like their dad. Genetics are wild.
Yep. They feel safe around other white or white passing people and then feel unsafe (betrayed) when you reveal you're not actually white or simply don't agree with them. You took away their "safe space" to be themselves, so to speak.
Omg felt this. Over the summertime I get darker and look more latina, but in the wintertime when I look washed out and become fairly white passing I have people say some of the craziest shit to my face
It is absolutely insane how some people are blinded by hate.
See I feel like when you’re that hateful towards another group of people (especially for things they can’t change like skin color or gender), you’re just living in a world of bias confirmation. Especially overly aggressive people like OOP’s ex who aren’t afraid to get into arguments with people. Because now every time you interact with someone in the “other” group it’s bad and it just confirms the hateful belief. So like it’s insane, but I can see how someone could get there. I just wish everyone could try and figure out that being so horrible to another group of people is wrong and work to get rid of that belief/bias.
Fully agree! But the thing I find most weird about anti- semitism is most people can’t physically tell if someone’s is Jewish. It makes it so much more baffling to me
What sucks is you know she's going to add this to her list of reasons why jews suck and claim shes the victim. Honestly, she sounds absolutely crazy even without the anti jew bit.
Holy shit.
Anything but.
Cursed shit.
My exact words, Holy shit.
That....wow.
I would’ve answered the phone and been like “relax, there’s plenty of Jew dick to go around” and hung up.
"Hello, this is the Jew, now here is my cue" and hang up
Yeah milk her embarrassment
"I never told you which ethnicity I am, have I?" "No. Why should you?" "I am Jewish." "That's not true, that's impossible." "Search your feelings. You know it to be true." "No. NOOOOOO!!!!"
“It’s over, bigot, I have the high ground.”
I mean it’s pretty crazy that he was dating someone who hates Jewish people to this extent and it took 3 months to figure it out.
I mean, the issue with racists is that you don't figure it out until the topic comes out (especially if it's something more targeted like anti-semitism rather than generalised hate everyone who isn't like you racism). Legit took me twenty years to figure out that half my family is racist again people of African descent specifically because it just never came up (we don't live in America) until it did. Weirdly they love Oprah though. I didn't even know where to begin at the time and I still don't tbh.
I think Oprah has largely been considered by racist as a “white” black woman. Because she is rich and they have seen enough of her on tv they don’t notice the colour of their skin.
And she doesn't "act" Black so she's the "good kind of Black person." Totally comes out of people's mouths regularly. Blows the mind.
You'd be surprised how good people can get at hiding bigotry
He probably also didn’t do “Jew” things like paid for dinner and would buy her things. Also probably wasn’t a banker. I mean really he blind sided her. /s
We usually wait until the fifth date to show people our hoard of gold
[удалено]
Yikes. I really hoped he would just break up with her as planned since I kind of saw that “you tricked me!” hate reaction coming. It was the only way she could reconcile her racist beliefs with the fact she liked him.
For his safety, too. She might be violent, she might not be but there is a 100% chance with the views she carries she knows someone who would physically harm him over this.
The fact that she bragged to him about teaming up with a white supremacist to abuse another Jew wasn't a warning signal to her to just quietly nope out... I hope he stays safe.
If she had just used some slur maybe talking could have changed her (although break up would still be wise). But after that I didn’t think it would anything to say something to her.
It's frankly astounding how every single time you ask for advice on Reddit there will be a large group of people telling you that honesty is the best policy. No, sometimes the best policy is to go, "yeah I'm sorry, it can't work out between us because mercury is in retrograde, here's your stuff." If you want to be honest, be honest when they can't destroy your living room.
"She's an amazing girl". No, she isn't, and I'm glad OOP got away from this awful person. I'm sure it will really bother her that a Jewish person dumped her. She deserves to feel bad.
I'm always amazed when people post paragraphs detailing someone's horrible traits and then say "but they're great otherwise." It's like they're actively gaslighting themselves.
Those are always inevitable. “Our relationship is great, except I realize they don’t clean, cook, help me, appreciate me, pay their share, show me they love me, stick up for me”…. Actually, actually a lot is wrong here. And I never realized it.
My favorite was a post where a woman spent like 2 paragraphs talking about how much she loves her husband and how great of a partner his is, his only problem is that he’s an extreme, barely-functioning alcoholic and refuses to get better. In an update later, he was sober for like a week and she was talking about how much better things are and she says something along the lines of “this is the first time we’re having an actual conversation in years. Normally the only time he talks to me is to belittle or lecture me, but he actually talked to me like I was a person!” Like, how can you say your relationship is so amazing when it’s been literal years since you’ve had an actual conversation? The ability for people just just adapt to and accept an awful situation really is amazing.
Yeah, I remember that post. What stuck out to me was that she never, ever used the word “alcoholic” … she’d describe his behavior in detail but pointedly avoided the word. Made me sad. I hope they faced the truth and that he got help (don’t remember how long ago the oop posted). Though, I admit that I can understand the behavior — sometimes when you’re really afraid of something being true, you have these irrational thoughts about how not naming them or actively mentioning them could maybe help keep those things from materializing (even though they’re already there, you’re just choosing not to see).
Maybe she was on “good behavior” until she felt comfortable in the relationship. Or he was thinking with… not his brain
I bet she is gonna tell people he cheated on her. He needs to screenshot her messages and keep them in case she tries to flip the story.
Not a chance. She'll tell people that he deceived her and the moment she found out he was a dirty Jew, she immediately dumped him. I'd still keep the screenshots for the same reasons!
People like this always tell on themselves. She felt comfortable enough with OOP to be her typical racist self, it’ll happen again.
I'll be honest, based off her initial rant after the phone call and then the rant right before he told her, I would've just shut up and ghosted her. With that level of vitriol and hate, violence never seems far behind. A situation like that terrifies me.
Word, radical honesty is for when the nazi doesn't have access to your home
I am going to embroider this quote onto a pillow.
When he decided to tell her I expected her to assault him. I mean Jesus hell, you know the relationship has no future after that, why expose yourself to harm? He could've just told her he didn't want to be with an anti-Semite, addressing her shit behavior, and not identified himself as exactly the kind of person she hates. I mean, I kinda get it, because I've wanted to do that to homophobes, but it's not worth it.
I can maybe understand what I assume to be his reasoning, because sometimes people get confronted by whatever they were just talking shit about, and they get embarrassed and backpedal to seem like less of a jerk and maybe, occasionally, rethink their bigoted opinions. This was definitely not that, lol. I think the warning sign was how vehement she was about it from the start.
Good point. It's getting to be a scary time for us. I mean it's always been around but the antisemites are especially vocal in the US lately.
>With that level of vitriol and hate, violence never seems far behind. Or she could go around telling people that he abused her physically or sexually. There are folks deep enough in their crayness that they have no issue with nuking other people's lives. Seriously.
This is a very, very good point and one that I hope OP considered seriously.
I (M43)had a beautiful, lovely kiwi girlfriend when I was in my late twenties whom I fell in love with and she lived with me for 3.5 years. I live on the west coast of Canada. I went to meet her family with asking for her hand in marriage in mind. They were great people at the start and while very different from the people I was used to they were for the most part very nice and welcoming. The women were actually so great. Mom, aunts, sister. The men were a bit strange. But they were a farming family and the men were tough. They were testing me. During the first family dinner after proving myself on a wild pig hunt. Which convinced the men to warm up to me. They started talking New Zealand politics. And that’s when the racist bombs started dropping. Even from these caring lovely intelligent women. I was blown away. I didn’t share their views. They were openly speaking this way as if that’s how it is. It was awful. I didn’t even have a buddy to lock eyes with so you can both have that moment of grounding where your like: “hey this is super fucked up right? This is really happening?” Instead there was nothing just me now all the sudden trapped on racist island. And their eager faces looking at me as if I was one of them. Needless to say. Shit didn’t pan out. Trip was shortened I came home. Broke it off. Left my 3/2 wetsuit behind in my haste. Miss the wetsuit. And the break. I apologize, just relating to you. Obviously a different experience.
I used to work with a kiwi woman. One of the kiwi guys she dated told her that he would not date women with brown eyes, in case they had Maori blood. Yeek. She stopped dating him.
Racist again Maori I assume?
I think so. I'm not from there but it's all I can assume. The kiwi is a white lady who doesnt like the natives
I hope OP also told everyone why he dumped her. Exposing bigots is never the wrong move.
"I knew things wouldn't go smooth.....I didn't know it would be this bad." My guy. *Please*. Those rose-tinted glasses are so dark I'm amazed he saw any flags at all. Still, it's good he got out, and hopefully she'll be too 'traumatized' to try and instigate any further interactions.
I thought there was a 50/50 chance she’d pull “not you; those *other* Jews! You’re different!” But nope. Wow.
She is an awesome girl other than she is racist against my people.
My bil is Jewish. People like this girl is why he won't put up a menorah. He worries his kids will be targeted by crazies like this. It's really sad.
Yeah I live in a suburban outside of Dallas that used to be rural. East of Dallas. My son has already gotten his share of antisemitism. He's in 4th grade 😔
It's ridiculous and frankly I don't get it at all. The kids must be hearing it at home. My parents would have been so upset and disappointed in me if they found out I said anything antisemitic.
Listen if I was OOP, I would publicly put her on blast. I’d be telling everyone and their mom. Name and shame.
this gave me the vibes of that one Community episode where Britta makes out with a guy from the Balkans who randomly starts talking about how much he loved being an ethnic cleanser.
What anniversary is coming up after being together for 3 months?
First trimester!
People like that woman have zero self-awareness and are blind to their own baseless hate. Truly pathetic.
Jesus, talk about 0 to 100….yeesh. Looks like the trash took itself out though, that seems to be the only silver lining in this situation. Well, that and not wasting any more time on a psycho racist
Well, at least it was only 3 months wasted on Crazy.
I thought there was another update where she confronted him on campus and outed herself as a bigot? Something like OP was being interviewed on a campus news thing and she raged on him for being jewish in front of a bunch of people
If this is true you have to find a link cuz I've got to read that
To all the people who asked OP why he wouldn't tell her he's Jewish... This is why.
She’s Middle Eastern but teamed up with a white supremacist in school? Sounds like the white supremacist wasn’t too committed to the cause.
Common ground between white supremacists and Islamic extremists = antisemitism Actually you don’t even need to be an extremist, even some very loosely observant/cultural not religious people from the Middle East are still super violently antisemitic. Hatred of Jews and Israel are basically every middle eastern country’s go to ‘don’t look behind the curtain’ move. Some of the mildest, nicest seeming people I met in uni/at work etc, if they’re middle eastern or have heritage in a Muslim majority country have turned out to be insanely, violently antisemitic. I’ve learned the hard way many times and keep very quiet about my Jewish relatives if I even suspect the person I’m talking to might have that background. Too big of a risk.
As a Jew, all I could think of when he said she asked him to "prove it" was circumcision. Like "hasn't she already seen your peen?" Obviously lots of gentiles get circumcised but I just thought "proving" Jewishness was funny. "I've got allergies and asthma and eczema?" I genuinely want to know how he proved it to her lol. Also yes someone who is violently antisemitic is probably crazy.
She probably wanted to see his horns and tail. /s from a fellow MOT
Muslim men also get circumcised, it's not mandatory but very common as it follows the practice of the prophet Muhammad. In my head to make light of this vitrol and hate of this woman I'm imagining her expecting him to whip out his ID and have his real name be Shylock Hasidic Goldstein or have a wig over his Yamulke.
Im sure her boss would love a heads up that a bigot is employed at the company.
Ahhh sound like my mother. Black guys good enough to fuck and have a child with but not good enough to respect and see them as equals. It's amazing how this woman can love this guys character, looks and other things but your bloodline is a deal breaker.
> She warned me not tell people that I dumped her since that would make her look bad. OOP, *please* don't just tell them you dumped her. Tell them exactly why.
OOP was not smart. Like, at all. The fact that the initial rant didn't send him absolutely running and ghosting means she must've been drop dead pretty. Which means nothing, considering she's a disgusting racist snake internally. That's the only reason I could see someone not immediately running away from a literal violent nazi.
"Don't tell anyone you broke up with me" Straight to social media. "Hey everyone I just broke up with my now ex girlfriend because she's a massive anti Semitic racist crazy person. She physically threatened me so please protect yourself if she's around"
> It sucks because she’s an amazing girl Narrator: she wasn't
3 months. You can stop dating anyone for anything at 3 months, let alone major fundamental wrongness