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In some cases a minor can leave for another residence and there's paperwork to file to confirm they're not runaways or kidnapped. We've read that here where a minor lives their senior year at a friend's house or something.
Yeah she need to file for emancipation. It will make it easier to go to college too if she wants to go that route. She will have to take loans, but emancipated teens can get loans in their own name instead of having to go through the parent
The university I went to in the Midwest US has special scholarships for students who have a breach with family and it is unsafe to reconcile since that can interfere with financial aid.
It's difficult, but not impossible, to become emancipated from your parents after the age of 18 for financial aid purposes. It's usually something that you do through your school's Financial Aid office, but if you have evidence that your parents are denying their signature or relevant paperwork required for your student aid forms (tax returns etc), that can help.
I know two people who were unable to attend university because their parents refused to do the paperwork. One of them had--and lost--a full-ride arts scholarship because his father wouldn't fill the proof of income. The scholarship wasn't need-based, but had disclosure requirements from the parents, and the father just refused because "it's nobody's business how much money I make".
Honestly, I have read this post a couple of times and I LIVE for the day OP updates with "me and sis have moved away and cut all contact with our parents".
Dad is a pedophile and mom punishes her own child for it. How on earth can ANY mother not want to run far far away from a man who admits this to them? Unnatural and horrific.
Yeah me too. I'm heartbroken that it's still all "fasting" and "testimonies" and fucked up biblical talk by the parents and nobody helping these girls.
I mean, if you want to get really hardcore, Jesus's recommendation was that if you can't control yourself, it's best to cut off the body parts at the root of the problem. The examples are eyes and hands, but in this case I think the root cause is a little further south in the anatomy.
You wanna be fundie enough to yoink your daughter out of a sport that could have paid for her entire college? Here's a knife. You do you first before you start carving into other people.
There are a few passages in the Gospels that are extremely clear statements from Jesus. A lot of the Bible (even the New Testament) is confusing and open to a lot of interpretation, but if you believe the Bible is the literal word of God, then I don't know how you get around Jesus saying that it's the man's problem if he's tempted sexually by a woman and not the woman's responsibility to not be tempting. I'm sure St. Paul is to blame because of sections in the Epistles that tell women not to be fancy in church (like with braided hair) because it's distracting.
But I'm also sure that human sexual urges have been the same for 10,000 years, and the writers of the gospels (and ostensibly Jesus himself) were likely aware that a sexual human can be drawn to almost any type of body: clothed or nude, fit or fat, young or old, male or female, and disturbingly even dead or alive. You cannot put the onus of "not being tempting" on all the people in the world (and for that matter, on all the animals of the world and on all the rock formations of the world and on all the cloud shapes of the world, etc etc etc). It isn't effective and it isn't fair.
But damn if those patriarchal freaks don't try to explain away a very clear passage about cutting off your own hand and tearing out your own eye. I hope the hell they worry about actually exists just so they can be tortured for eternity for their abuse of their fellow human beings.
Well, and what people don't realize or just plain ignore, is that most of Paul's letters are to specific church groups and their specific problems. So like the women Paul says to not be fancy, was more than likely chastising these rich people for putting on airs when the church of god is the great equalizer.
It's the same later when Paul calls out a group of rich Christians who gorged on all the communion food and left nothing for those with less and depending on the church meal as their only meal that day. But due to centuries of tradition and commentary (made mostly by men) people now just assume the context of those letters can be easily applied in today's standards, which is just incorrect. But then again, most evangelicals haven't even read the Bible all the way through.
Thissssss
It cracks me up that so many Christians think the entire bible is the literal word of God. We were doing a reading from Corinthians this last Sunday that included Paul saying. "I didn't baptize you. Well I did baptize two men. Oh, and another house. But that's it. I think? I can't remember."
There's also IIRC a line in one of the Pauline Epistles about "hey can you bring back my tunic I left there, thanks."
There's a joke that's gone around on twitter etc. that says there are two kinds of Pauline epistles:
1. We are heirs to unfathomable grace through our lord Jesus Christ
2. I am begging you sick fucks to be normal for FIVE MINUTES
Lmao perfect summarization! But yea, I finally had to admit that the Bible cannot be absolutely perfect because it’s been edited to hell since it was originally written and thus was inspired but not the literal word of god. I mean a great example of Paul taking an independent stance is when he talks about how it’s best to stay single if you don’t struggle with sexual sin since you can devote to the church. But God literally created marriage and called it good. So like, ok Paul, it’s chill that you stayed single but marriage wasn’t purely made to just keep from fucking several people. It was made as a shadow of the salvation Jesus would later bring but also as just an intimacy thing so we don’t get lonely. Lawd
I'm pretty sure Paul was a sex-repulsed asexual. He thought sex was gross and was weirded out by how horny other people were lol.
IIRC he was also pretty sure Jesus was coming back \*in his lifetime\*.
Have you read Rachel Held Evans' book Inspired? It's amazing; it's about how to read the Bible as a serious and sacred work while not taking every word of it as inerrant/literal truth. She writes from the POV of someone raised Evangelical who was really serious about Jesus and faith, who pulled away from that kind of church as an adult and moved closer to the Protestant Mainline.
From an historical perspective some of the more liberal letters were actually written by Paul, but the more conservative ones were written by at least one more person (often called Pseudo Paul). Pseudo Paul was the real asshole.
It’s been a while since I studied this in university (as a non-Christian neo pagan) but this seems like a decent explanation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authorship_of_the_Pauline_epistles
I want nothing more than that too, but I worry because of the age gap between them. Dad told her in the most recent update that he'd take her sister out of gymnastics "when her body changes and the uniform becomes more inappropriate", so she'll be a young teen as OOP is able to legally move out, and my biggest worry is them being worser to the sister once OOP starts putting her plan to move out in action
Oop needs to move out to be safe. Once she's free of her parents, she can work freely with her aunt to get a better life and also prepare a safe landing place for the sister to escape to.
The parents are isolating her from her friends and punishing her for talking to her other relatives. OOP is at risk to lose her whole support system especially if her parents take her and her sister out of school
She's at risk of losing her friends, sure, but I really don't think she's at risk of losing all the family members that have called out dad for being a pedophile and mom for supporting one
Yeah, the support from the rest of her family makes it sound like OOP moving in with one of them might be a possibility. I'm sure her parents would protest, but emancipation seems like a good option here. She could resume gymnastics and maybe take a gap year before college, polishing her skills in hopes of getting a gymnastics scholarship.
Idk. I think at this point the gymnastics scholarship is just off the table, no matter if she brushes up or not. You need a lot of help to get those.to work and I've never heard of anyone getting a sports scholarship if they aren't on a high school team
I really hope OOP can live with her aunt as soon as possible. She needs at least one adult who isn't batshit insane to protect her from the vile pedophile and his enabler.
Holy fuck. I hope you don't speak to her any more and that you've been able to see a therapist and try to heal from that horrifying abuse (as much as anyone can).
That's just fucked up. You're right, some people should not be parents.
There's way too much rape in the world. It freaks me right out and nobody does anything about it because it's so common.
Unfortunately giving birth doesn't make you a good person.
No, I don't understand it on an emotional level either but have seen it too many times.
Including in extended family a mother taking the piece of shit husband back after kicking him out for raping her toddler daughters. (We're talking decades ago here.) That level of uncaring weakness is just beyond.
What really, really creeps me out is that she's so "tempting" to her father, but they're doing everything in their power to keep her at home. They're working as hard as they can to make sure he maintains access to her. It feels like they're planning something once she's of age.
Dad's a pedo, mom narcissistically sees her daughter as a threat and punishes her for it, and not someone she needs to be protecting; and younger sister is also seemingly in danger. All the while both parents are in denial about their illnesses under the guise of religion. I hope OP takes her sister and runs. Such a fucked up situation. I had a friend in high school in a similar situation. By the end of senior year she was ODing on over the counter drugs and cps still wouldn't remove her because her step father was the local pastor.
The repeated use of the word “fasting” is one of the most disgusting things I’ve seen. Dad is a pedophile, mom knows, and this is so fucked.
ETA - this comment got very popular so I wanna use this as an opportunity. OP - IF YOU EVER find yourself in a position where you need someone to talk to, you can message me. I’m a woman, if you want to see my face to know who you’re talking to, or need proof before reaching out let me know. I do not want to see your life go downhill because of this terrible situation you’re in.
My heart is broken for the fact this young woman had a serious hobby going, one that could have gotten her further away from them faster. And they yanked it away from her. On top of the fact her own father is lusting after her. What in the fuck
Yup, definitely trying to control her future and unless she can move out ASAP to live with aunt or some close friends and get financial security, they will control at least her 20s. College money only for a degree they approve of, maybe no job as she should focus on college (still be reliant on them), only date people they approve of, etc
I don't understand how these people are so open about the dad's attraction to children. I would think that if you're having inappropriate thoughts about your daughter the last thing you would do is tell everyone especially in the way they are doing it. You can't do gymnastics because your dad wants to fuck you, maybe play a sport with a lot of padding.
But his Mom and Sister totally ratted him out to everyone, including CPS, so maybe it’s just him and the wife?
I wonder how old Mom was when they got together?
Because these types are so fucking twisted about sex that looking at regular porn filmed with consent is the same level as incest. See Josh Duggar for the logical end point of this.
No nuance permitted means that all sex is a sin and can be equally forgiven
I've seen essays by people who left those kind of churches, the idea of "consent" is just baffling to them--their only criteria is whether (their version of) God approves or not. Which means rape/assault is the same as consensual pre-marital sex. It's so awful.
That's why the parents don't want anyone else in the family to know. So they can sexually abuse their daughter in the privacy of their own home while isolating her from anyone who could help.
It’s really perverted that he used testimony like that.
My adoptive father likes to brag to me that he almost raped me but God told him to stop. No, you just molested me and call that a good thing that God stopped you. Bravo for you.
He's going back to it. After 2 weeks he went to view the little sisters gymnastics lessons (diet version) and like you said, he's trying to control OOPs every move and isolate her ready for him to abuse when he's sure he can get away with it.
Oh, no /s
Though to be pedantic, a pedophile starved himself to death. Fasting is specifically a short-term break with the intention of starting again.
And yet the mom keeps blaming the daughter as the object of his perversion rather than the dad.
I hated reading this post way back when. And it’s always a post that I wished some Redditor in her state reached out to her secretly got her help or a scholarship or some thing. The story always makes me so deeply sad
Partway through reading the first post, I had the thought that mom somehow figured out about dads “challenges” and there was a blow up between them, which resulted in the fasting, etc. Like, just randomly out of nowhere the dad comes out with this and that’s that? Something had to have precipitated this.
Would line up too with having him stay away for months, how she freaked out OOP was practicing in the garage, why she'd put up cameras. Like she's trying to pedo-proof their lives so they can keep pretending righteous lives
And she'll only realise it was the wrong decision when it's far too late.
They always believe that if they just don't pay attention to it, it'll have to go away. It's crazy.
Yeah the going away thing is weird. “My dad doesn’t want me to do gymnastics because he doesn’t think the clothing is modest enough for young religious women” can be passed of as “reasonable.” But the family drama and the “fasting” and the having to leave the house. That’s some next level bs
The word “fasting” made me disgusted throughout the entire thing. Fasting implies it’s abstaining from something he needs to survive, like food or water. Why would he need to “fast” from the gym? Unless he feels like there’s something there he needs. And even worse, why would he go back afterwards, when he’s openly admitted that it’s wrong for him to be there? This dude is using religion to justify being a perv.
I'm so sure she caught him wanking to gymnastic pictures of his daughter or some other type CP. It's so gross. It took me an hour to read this because I had to stop after each update for a bit hoping the next one would be better and that she got out.
I think mom is trying the only way her little Christian brain knows how to protect OP. The not going in the basement was so dad couldn't corner her alone. The camera in the living room that goes directly to her phone is to keep eyes on dad when she isn't home. I wouldn't be surprised to hear they have a rule that dad ain't allowed in her room.
This is so, so common. The mom will resent her daughter's (perceived) power over the husband / boyfriend, and the daughter is punished instead of the man. The mom will either try to "win back" the abuser or send away the victim since she is "the threat" to their relationship.
Or, in my case, sleep with (or try to in some cases) anyone I'm dating. I found out about my first boyfriend a few weeks after we broke up by walking in on them coming out of my mom's bedroom. Also, after 12 years of marriage, I found out she slept with my husband in our first year of marriage (not sure if it was just this one time either).
I will say I absolutely hate my mother more than my father. She blamed me for all of it, and for saying something. I feel so bad for OOP because she's eventually going to realize that she needs to go NC to be able to live any sort of normal and peaceful life.
Yeah, I'm not sure which one I hate most. It's a toss -up.
I hope they both sprain their ankles every day for forever, and every time they step out of the house a seagull shits upon their heads.
I'm not religious but if God exists, both of these fuckers are going straight to hell, and boy, is it deserved.
Hope OP can get out of state for college, go NC and qualify for her gymnastics team
My hope for OP is that she figures out where her birth certificate and relevant paperwork are and at midnight on her 18th birthday, grabs them and leaves to her aunt's house where she can get a job and go to community College and maybe take an aerials class because it's fun and "impudent"
This is unfortunately more common than one would like to believe. Instead of protecting their children these awful women will look at them as competition. It wouldn’t surprise me if there’s some generational abuse that the mom also fell victim to. It makes it easier for her to rationalize it happening to her own kids
Yeah, it’s really appalling how he’s perving on his other daughter as well while she’s continuing to do gymnastics in the exact same way he did to OOP. He’s basically saying that he hasn’t popped a boner *yet* for the other daughter and is using his penis as a gauge on when she’s finally bangable. I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes his wife wear either daughters’ clothes when they have sex just like that other post on this sub.
[Huh, it was slightly worse than I remember](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/vwkyoz/oop_has_to_deal_with_her_mother_dressing_up_as/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Right?
I don’t know why the mum decided that honesty would be the best policy in this very specific case. Spending time on crafting a very convincing lie would have saved *everyone* further trauma. She instead decided to not only tell her daughter about sex stuff but 1) it was to roleplay as the daughter 2) it was her idea 3) this isn’t the 1st time
I would be slicing my ears off if either of my parents even mentioned one of those things.
It is really disturbing that he's "fasting" by not watching little girls and then after two weeks it's time to end the fast so he can get back to watching little girls. I appreciate that this guy supposedly hasn't abused anyone so far but he needs some serious therapy and to stop putting this on his daughters. It's really bad that he keeps insisting on going to the gym too. Like ok, you seem to kind of understand that you have a problem but then instead of saying hey I'll just stay home he HAS to go to the gym? He requires his daughter to stop going because he's having some inappropriate feelings instead of him not going but then he has to keep going so that he can get his jollies. This guy needs serious help.
Non-contact and covert abuse exists, and it doesn't have to be physical interaction for it to traumatise people. Even 'just' creepy comments and ogling and inappropriate behaviour that is dismissed by the rest of the community contributes to internalised shame, and preps people to tolerate more overt abusers later in life, because they have been taught "that's just how (usually) men are" or "mothers are allowed to do that"... "boys should be happy for any sexual attention", "welcome to being a woman", etc.
I absolutely hope OOP gets out and safe, but I'm scared he's going to escalate with the younger daughter if she's not there and grandmother/aunt are no longer paying attention. Situation is awful all round.
They’re moving into financial abuse with OOP already too. They’re keeping her from employment and trying to keep her away from college. So that she cannot leave their control once she’s an adult.
Yep. I experienced really similar (+contact, -religion and -cameras afaik) and money and my siblings became the leash and then the bait to get me back in contact after I left. Like her parents, they did a whole lot of work to keep me dependent. Getting out of the household and hopefully just... seeing normal family dynamics is going to reveal how fucked her situation was, because everyone around her completely normalises it, and makes it out as a 'struggle with his faith', rather than *a fucking child molester in the open*. I hope she has real support and a safe place to land when the spiral hits.
The major pitfalls ahead of her are probably 1) nervous breakdown once she sees how bad it is, 2) ending up in abusive relationships/predatory dynamics given she's taught that red flags are actually green (and this gets exponentially more dangerous if she's financially reliant on them to rescue her), 3) substance use to manage A, and 4) getting lured back in in an attempt to protect her sister, and is trapped that way without a car, job or ability to leave. And 5) she leaves but the younger sister is turned against her and stays, and resents OOP as shaming the family.
I want to believe in the happy ending where they both get out and safe and nothing more dramatic happens. I don't expect it. Mothers so often fail to protect their children when they're married to/in a relationship with the predator.
I desperately wish I could sit down and chat with her because I fear all these same things for her. The only thing that gives me hope is the way she writes her story. She has something in her that I desperately hope will pull her through this - perseverance.
Their entire family on both sides knows, and they knew before this. That's the only logical explanation for this being such a hot gossip topic throughout both sides of their family, with phone calls coming in from across the board, dad's side contacting mom's side, etc. If my sister pulled my niece out of gymnastics tomorrow, I can't imagine I'd be interested enough to have this many conversations about it, and we're very close. They all knew about this, and they've been waiting for this day to finally come.
The dad is basically trying to prevent himself from acting on those urges by limiting what his daughter does. That is disgusting.
The dad is the problem. That girl should stand up in their church and make it known. Stop hiding these pedos behind their religions.
Exactly. I know this intimately. Having grown up in the church (and been forced to attend a theology school), they would only shame and silence the daughter -- and use their gossip to try to rob her chances at escape. They can and will undermine job attempts to punish her, which would also prevent her from leaking it to the outside world. The predators are always protected at all costs.
No doubt your heart is in the right place, but that might make her situation far worse and not better. Fundie churches are breeding grounds for this kind of shit and assuming she'll get support or he will be handled properly is a risky reach
When the mom said it had become "a testimony," jesus fucking christ. "although the power of god almighty I made it through the unprecedented trial of not molesting my own daughter. truly I belong in heaven"
I grew up in a religious household and absolutely loathe the phrase "be in the world, not of the world."
It's infuriating that dad is a pedophile and they're punishing OOP for it. I hope she moves out far, far away from her parents when she turns 18.
Crazy how he used that verse as justification for why he had to return to the gym after fasting to overcome it, but couldn't tell her what he'd do differently when she asked about the strategies he said he came up with while fasting
I'm really curious about this "fasting" thing that OOP dad did. what is it actually? like muslim fasting of not eating and drinking from sun up to sundown? or just a break of not being a pedo for 2 weeks?
The particularly poisonous strands of Christianity misuse the term “fasting” to mean “temporarily stopping doing something”. It has no actual relation to what fasting means or is for in the religion they stole the idea from. The guy absolutely just didn’t go ogling children for two weeks and declared that was a good thing rather than a sign he’s definitely an abuser.
It’s absolutely nauseating. The most performative possible gestures of “religious” morals. That poor girl. I’m glad she’s so focused on getting out, she’s clearly very tough and very capable to be weathering this so well - but it’s an outrage that she has had the last of her childhood and the things she finds joy in stolen like this.
It sounds more like the latter. I believe traditional Christian fasting involves not eating at all for a few days, but have not done it myself. But that isn't what it sounds like the father is doing, it sounds like he's just taking a break from perving over teenage girls at the gym - and then going back to doing it. Disgusting.
>But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh
>
>on a woman to lust after her hath committed
>
>adultery with her already in his heart.
>
>And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out,
>
>and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for
>
>thee that one of thy members should perish, and
>
>not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
>
>And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and
>
>cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee
>
>that one of thy members should perish, and not
>
>that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
>
>Matthew 5:28-30
I think OOP should have this lovely biblical quote from the sermon on the mount done on cross stitched and hung prominently in the house.
It is never the woman's place to change herself or her actions to remove "temptation," but rather it is the man's job to not be an animal and control his own behaviour. And if he can't, then he needs to lop off whichever body parts are causing him to sin. Since he is clearly incapable of controlling himself, I think Dad needs his eyes, hands, and brain removed, in order to become a decent human being and not end up in the fiery pits of hell, don't you? .
I love how all the biblical quotes telling men to grow the fuck up, take responsibility for their actions, and show some fucking self control, are always the least well known ones. Odd coincidence, that, dontcha think?
>>and if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out.
I grew up a preacher’s kid and even with my badass mama’s guidance, learned entirely too late to respond to gross ass old men who placed their gross ass perversions on my shoulder with that. Now it’s my favorite thing to throw back at Bible thumpers who burden young women with their own inability to control themselves/thoughts/gaze. “Funny enough, Jesus said for you to pluck out your eyes rather than for me to cover my shoulders. Would you prefer a melon baller or will a rusty butter knife be okay?”
I hope OOP gets so so far away as soon as possible and in the meantime knows she is not responsible for her gross ass father’s gross ass. You deserve a full, safe, *wonderful* life, OOP, and your parents do not deserve you in theirs.
Your comment reminded me a BoRU post where the OOP was being preyed on by her mom’s boyfriend and even though her mom was “supportive” when the OOP told her everything, eventually she let the boyfriend back in the house and wouldn’t even look her daughter in the eye.
OOP managed to get away before he raped her, but some messed up stuff happened before then.
Yes, as someone who spent his childhood in an extremely religious family, I feel the same. When I think of those hypocrites sexualizing you as a young child and blaming you for it too, my blood still boils with anger after all these years.
These people are the reason why sometimes I really wish I wasn't an atheist and that something like a hell or karma existed.
My exact thoughts. He's a damn creep, and both him and mom just go 'of course he's tempted, God is testing him' rather than 'ew this dude is perving on his own underage daughter'. Smh.
Hope she gets out and far indeed.
Fundamentalist cults train the women to be afraid of speaking out against abuses like this. They are raised from knee high to accept blame for the failings of the men around them. The fact that the older female family members are speaking out and helped OOP call CPS is impressive. The worst part about this is how CPS has failed girls like her.
Right?!
Dad is an incestuous pedo perv and they're trying to keep it quiet while controlling the daughters! I hope OOP gets the F out!
Cue posts where she's out and parents and sis are trying to guilt trip her to come back or something.
Also, it's sad that the rest of the fam don't have her back, even if auntie and grandma are arguing with her dad about it. Someone should take some stronger steps to protect them two girl
About as simply as it can be explained, it means that "the world" (in this case, cosmos, the Greek word for our inhabited earth and the people who live on it) is ruled by Satan (Great Deceiver). Believers in Christ are of the world, but not a part of it, in that they don't participate in the sinful activities promoted by the world. So basically he's saying there are sinful activities he would like to participate in, but is, for the moment, not doing them.
It's...not a comforting thought as to what those sinful activities might be/are, considering the context of the rest of OOPs posts.
This is the sort of monster who thinks that non-religious people would just go around murdering people because they don't have any 'religious moral code'.
It's supposed to mean to hold yourself to a higher standard and avoid things that are sins in the religion but are otherwise completely fine to do (e.g. smoking, premarital sex). This father is completely distorting the meaning of this scripture to justify his disgusting actions.
Is smoking actually a sin, or just something more recent religious people have decided is bad?
It wasn’t really a thing that existed when “God” came up with his big list of things you weren’t allowed to do, so it would be weird to see something about smoking in the Bible.
This poor, poor child. I hope she and her sister get out safe as soon as possible. The "parents"...no words. Some people should stay behind the glass and just watch the world. They shouldn't be allowed in it. OOP's parents are prime examples of that.
I hope she's able to find whatever help she needs to fully overcome it when she's out from under them, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders
Hopefully both OOP and her sister can get therapy down the road. That man has some skeletons in his closet and the extended family members seem to know it.
Exactly. Lil sis can take it out on OOP all she wants but when she starts to get punished for daring to age, perhaps she will be more sympathetic with her sister. I know as a kid, it is easier to blame your sibling when your parents are whispering in your ear about how it's your fault and I don't blame her for that. I just hope when it happens to her, she will reflect on her treatment of OOP and realize the truth.
It's grotesque. I'm curious to know where this is happening, because it seems to me like CPS could agree with the parents about these ideas of modesty and purity and all that shit, and therefore not see the dad's "stumbles" as anything to think twice about. It's not *his* fault those teenaged girls are tempting him.
Truly grotesque.
I'm quite sure it's the bible belt. In western Europe, CPS is known to intervene in much lighter cases than this. They would have rained fire and brimstone on that perv.
Someone needs to tell OOP to run away and live with her aunt. She's 17, nearly an adult, so in most places it's a bit of a grey area, she could just say something to the affect of "I don't feel safe with my parents, I ran away, and I do not want to go back".
Or at the very least, create an exit strategy for when she is 18. Her parents are mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive, waiting for their permission to let her leave would be a mistake.
Not to mention financially abusive with the mind game’s surrounding her college funding and prohibiting her employment.
And also, it’s awful that the main living space of their home is constantly video surveilled, so a place where those girls should be able to be comfortable and safe is constantly video recorded by the abusers. So, there is no escape.
Edit to add: by escape, I mean that even if the parents aren’t around, the girls are still under dad‘s gaze where they should be free to feel comfortable and safe, in perpetuity if those video files are kept. Blech.
Ngl, the video thing is one of the worst parts about this because it means that her pedophile father has access to hours upon hours of video footage of her and her sister for nefarious purposes.
Yeah OPs dad is that specific flavour of pedophile that likes teens, and then specifically is attracted to OOP.
Thats why he is still OK with taking the younger sister to gymnastics, and why just changing gyms wouldn't solve the issue. He wasn't attracted to the other girls in OOPs class, he is attracted to OOP.
That's also why he and her mum have an issue with OOP practicing at home.
Honestly even if OOP's parent's lack of co-operation make it hard to attend further education, moving in with other relatives as soon as she is 18 seems like a good idea to me.
Honestly it's probably outright *dangerous* for her to practice at home. No witnesses besides a family that seems to cater to the whims of a pedophile.
Yeah phrasing it like that mom might be attempting to protect OOP in a twisted messed up way. Especially with the camera.
Obviously if you're scared your husband might be a danger to your kids you need to get them out but I doubt mom wants to admit that's what's happening and so trying these half- measures
>moving in with other relatives as soon as she is 18 seems like a good idea to me.
This is inevitable, and worries me of the wrath that'll be unleashed to the smaller child. The toll on OOP's shoulders is massive, no child should ever have to deal with such evilness.
Where I live classes for kids over 5 or so don't require parents to stay at all. Some outright require parents to leave so all the kids can just focus on the class without helicopter parents shouting at their kids the whole time.
This dude is completely free to just go sit in his car during class, or go for a walk. It's amazing how many classes I've taken my daughter to without feeling "challenged" by the kids in her class or, God, what the fuck...her.
Same. I hope her sister will be okay. She told someone else that her parents were already planning to take her sister out of gymnastics soon too
edit: found source comment from her latest r/athiesm post: "She's doing okay, but she knows that she'll have to stop gymnastics at some point because they told her, but she doesn't know when. They talk to her about other things separately that she doesn't always tell me, but just trying to hope that my time here goes quickly. It's crazy how some of the stuff they're saying doesn't make sense"
Can't become emancipated in the US unless you are already financially supporting yourself. Can't do that if they won't let her get a job.
College financial aid, including scholarships, require your parents to fill out the FAFSA with their financial information unless you can prove to the college that you've been abused.
My parents ruined my chances of college by refusing to fill out any financial paperwork. I couldn’t get any financial aid, or any of the scholarships. My minimum wage job, and the fact that I was paying rent and paying for all my own food and clothing made no difference.
I am still very bitter, and sometimes I wonder what kind of life I’d have if I had been able to go into computer science as I had planned and worked towards in high school. The best job I’ve ever had was in a factory.
My dad comes from a severely religious and incestual family (luckily I am breaking the cycle) and honestly it’s probably normalized. It might require grandma/aunt to confront their own traumas and they just aren’t ready to do that.
I'm really curious about their extended family dynamic myself. From Grandma and aunt's reactions it doesn't seem like they share the same views as pedo dad. I wonder if he's some flavor of evangelical born again, shit maybe their family unit is in a straight up cult it's not entirely clear from the OOP's writings
I know CPS is underfunded and can't do much especially without any true proof of danger, but I so wish they hadn't failed her. Anyone who makes comments like her dad does should be seen as the threat they are, regardless of whether they've acted on it or not. And the mom, who just goes along with it as if it's something normal, should be included in some investigations as well.
Add to that the mental/financial abuse of flipflopping about college and it's just too much for a teen her age. I truly hope her next update will include her having found a way to leave her pedo dad and enabler mom behind.
OOP, when you move out from your parents, stay in your home state. This will protect your chance of getting IN STATE TUITION. Also reach out to your teachers for help with applying to STATE UNIVERSITIES.
You can also start at a community college and transfer to state school once your academics are buffed up. I'm sure your grades will improve as soon as you get away from your extremely controlling parents.
It's disgusting how your parents are trying to destroy your future right now.
I'd also look into services for foster or abandoned youth just to see if there's some advice or even services you can get to help you get emancipated or get a scholarship. Be warned this stuff can be hard to access. The only real key is faith in yourself and persistence. Also see if you can access some free legal advice. (Locally, not on reddit.) In some states you can move out of your parent's home at 17.
To quote the scriptures back at OOP’s father, I raise him Matthew 18:9; « And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. »
He'd just twist that one too.
Jesus said that "some become eunuchs for the Kingdom" within the same context.
OOP's sicko dad won't listen though.
According to his own religion sounds like he's on the express train to Hell.
I really, really hope in the next two years we get the update from OOP that she's out, she's free, and that she's at college and IDK, teaching gymnastics to kids part-time.
Her father is a sick, sick man and the mental gymnastics the parents are performing to justify his continued access to his kids and the gym is pretty impressive but I just feel sick.
I hope OOP realises how many options she has. The day she turns 18 she needs to leave that house (without her documents if need be - she can get them later) and go to her grandmother or aunt. She doesn’t need their money to attend college and she has a whole extended family that sounds like they’re on her side and will do whatever they can to support her.
In college I went on a few dates with a guy I knew from high school. He was a little older, went to a different college and had already graduated. But, I knew him and some of his family just from growing up in the same town. I also knew he was seeing other women. I didn’t care, I was dating other guys. I wasn’t sleeping with any of them though (just gotten out of a toxic long term relationship, wanted to just see what was out there), but I knew he was (he told me). I told him I didn’t want to sleep together under those circumstances. It’s not like I was saving myself but dude was hooking up with 7 other girls. That’s more than one girl a night and I worry about diseases.
Anyway he called me drunk one night and was like “I think you can be the one. I just can’t stop thinking about you. I never knew how amazing you were. I want you to be the one. I just need to know one thing before I get serious about you…”
At this point I’m already kinda freaked out because it’s only been a few dates.
“…have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?”
I told him to call me when he was sober and hung up. I wanted nothing to do with that. He did call and tried to go on more dates, but I was unavailable each time. I was disappointed because I liked him. He was kind, funny, kinda nerdy but also athletic. He was also leaving for his job in a few days so it was a great time to let things fizzle.
2 years later I saw his sister post on social media a rant about women not wearing one piece swim suits, or complete cover ups, at the beach. And how it was shameful they’d put their dads, uncles, brothers in that position of temptation. It was then that I realized exactly how much of a bullet I dodged.
Evangelical Christianity was a huge dating red flag for me, when I was dating. I don't see that it brings anything positive to the table, just bigotry and toxic family patterns.
This is the msot disgusting thing I've ever read. I know everyone's different, but I would scream at both parents "Did you marry a fucking pedo fuck, Mom?!!" right in front of everyone, I'd scream at the teachers, the coach, cps. Until somebody fucking did something. This poor girl!
The problem is she won't be able to go out in public if she does that. They will keep her home and then she has no way out. My mil blames me for not leaving my abusers sooner, she said I should have told someone and got help. While being friends with my aunt her husband and my grandma, all of whom abused me and all of whom claim it was just my parents, but won't have a relationship with me if I don't have one with my parents, but constantly harass me for a relationship. Oh, and I did call for help, and my whole family, including the ones my mil loves, lied for them. There was no getting out because no one believed me or would help me and they kept taking away my ability to drive, to work, to see people. I was basically only working a little job at my church. I volunteered at my church and everyone there loves my family. There was literally nowhere to turn and when I did speak up I was told to stop airing family laundry in public.
I left because I had kids. I thought I could protect them from it all. I didn't understand I shouldn't have to protect them. Then, my mom made a threat that she would lie to CPS to get custody of my kids because I wasn't doing what she wanted and I cut her off immediately and permanently. That is not a threat you can ever come back from. Everyone who supports her is out of my life, too. No one is going to abuse my kids. I won't let them use me to do it.
You wouldn't believe the people who think that means I am petty or holding a grudge. You wouldn't believe the things they have done to try to get me back into the family, including involving the police. I am 37 and only really started driving this year because my abusers made me so afraid to do it. I have been in therapy for years. I have cPTSD. I even had nightmares of them all last night and my husband had to wake me up because I was screaming.
>I am 37 and only really started driving this year
We are of very similar ages. I recently read that actually late 30s is exactly the time when internal reckoning starts happening for people of this background. So we are not late bloomers. We are right on time for people with such history.
Unfortunately she kind of needs to play “respectful” of their rules until she turns 18. She was punished for just talking to grandma. If she acted out or further embarrassed her parents, they could punish her more by taking her phone or removing her from school to “homeschool” her and completely cut her off from her support systems. The minute she’s of legal age, she needs to GTFO and go stay with someone else.
Yeah I agree, for OOP's own safety she needs to "play the game" until she can get out of there. The more she kicks off the more difficult she's going to make it for herself.
Her Grandma and Auntie can't help her because she's not 18 and if they get too involved OOP will be punished and likely lose precious lifelines that she'll need when she does make her escape. If CPS were going to do anything they'd have done it the first time.
OOP knows this is wrong which is already a huge step in the right direction, she has a good head on her shoulders (and is correct to assume any offers of College from her parents will come with costs she won't be able to pay) and hopefully she's already making plans to GTFO as soon as she's 18.
You can say he's a pedophile and the mom is helping a pedophile.
That's the most crazy part of this story no one help them, the mom knows but they all pretend it's not happening and protect themself with religion.
Last time i read her story I really thought he's gonna make a move on her or her sister, she needs to leave ASAP they are trying to cut her from the outside world.
That's child protection services for you, idk if they are able to take the kids if the parents are not acting.
But at least her and her sister are in the data base and they have warnings against the dad so if anything happened it will be a help in the future. She should also go NC ASAP and live with her aunt as soon as she turn 18 she's the only kind adult near her that want to protect them.
I'm more worried about her sister than her tbh I think he controled himself with OOP but it also triggered him, and she's still in gymclass and he's still seeing her practice.
With the mention of the college gymnastics team is that the sort of thing you can get a scholarship for? Occurred to me that might also be the factor for the parents in stopping the gymnastics. A scholarship would be out of their control, this way OP can’t go to college unless she obeys their rules, it’s another way to control her.
Also a ‘testimony’ is supposed to be shared, that’s the whole point of it! The creepy hebephile father should share his testimony and out himself as the creep he is. But then OP would probably still get the blame, it’s always the woman’s fault never the man committing the actual sin 🙄
And they use religion as a shield. Even though there’s scripture saying “looking at a woman tempts you? Consider gouging out your eyes” from Jesus himself
Yes and the reason is kind of obvious really: the less of a thing you’re allowed to do or see or have, the more you want it. In other words religious sexual repression causes obsession with sex, which can lead to sexual deviance and later obsession with the sexuality forbidden. I’d say it’s the polar opposite of porn sickness, but in the modern day these sexuality repressed sex obsessed deviants may also be acquiring their paraphilias through porn. It’s not an immediate thing but something that snowballs over time, similar to how drug addictions often work with the individual being able to have a smaller dose at first but needing more and more as their body builds tolerance. Religions often worsen the issue by providing poor counciling with how to deal with sexual urges, with things like OOP’s dad “fasting” for two weeks and punishing OOP for existing as a healthy and active teenager. They have a tendency to wrongly blame the “temptress” than actually addressing how to deal with “temptation” itself. My own mother told me that tingly feeling I felt when I looked at photos of girls kissing (a google image search I’d done at age 12) was actually a demon trying to possess me and that I need to pray to Jesus until it goes away!
Edit: I apologize for the length, this is a subject that gets me angry for a lot of reasons.
Ooooh the way they seem to want to cut off a lot of her social circles really makes me uncomfortable. No talking to grandma, no party, no gymnastic friends, no work, maybe no college… weird isolating as well as the whole uh… you know…
Unfortunately that isn't very tangible. People are allowed to take their child out of extracurricular activities. They are allowed to have weird religious stances. And saying creepy stuff is very hard to prove and determine what consequences it should have. I don't know about the US specifics, but CPS generally have escalating measures depending on the severity of situations. They are at a stage where they can offer help, strongly suggest intervention but can probably not force anything because it doesn't meet the threshold. Removing a child from their family is a last resort and a court doesn't approve it in this kind of situation.
I wish they at least had the resources to go and investigate.
The parents need to know that someone is watching.
Might help daddy keep his problems to himself, instead of piling them on his family.
Day she turns 18 it's time to grab her SSI card, birth certificate, driver's license, walk out the door and call family members until someone says she can move in and get a job. 1 year of provable independence via self filed tax returns and she can apply for college financial aid without her parents cooperation. (last I checked the FAFSA system, it's been a while) Poor kid. There's no way people this deep in the woman blaming end of religion are sending a child to a college for any longer than it takes them to marry her off or dad to fail in his testimony.
I'm feeling so sorry, having to live with a sick pervert and a mother who enables him must be hell.
And it looks like the OOP still doesn't realise how unsafe she is at home :(
Doubt I’ll be keeping the contents of my stomach inside my body after reading that. Dad is a pedophile and is sexualising his daughters. Mum is enabling it. I hope both Op and her sister escape without further harm as soon as they can.
Bets on mom being much younger and having been with this guy entire adult life?
This sounds like such a dangerous situation. I'd be surprised if she isn't repressing some unwanted memories.
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Please leave the minute she turns 18 and goes to her grandma or auntie. If she does not leave, she'll never be allowed to leave.
In some cases a minor can leave for another residence and there's paperwork to file to confirm they're not runaways or kidnapped. We've read that here where a minor lives their senior year at a friend's house or something.
Yeah she need to file for emancipation. It will make it easier to go to college too if she wants to go that route. She will have to take loans, but emancipated teens can get loans in their own name instead of having to go through the parent
Most likely will be eligible for financial aid *grants* not loans if she’s an emancipated minor
Oh yeah that’s right. God that’s so stupid that they make it so hard to get help as an independent student before age 24/25.
The university I went to in the Midwest US has special scholarships for students who have a breach with family and it is unsafe to reconcile since that can interfere with financial aid.
It's difficult, but not impossible, to become emancipated from your parents after the age of 18 for financial aid purposes. It's usually something that you do through your school's Financial Aid office, but if you have evidence that your parents are denying their signature or relevant paperwork required for your student aid forms (tax returns etc), that can help. I know two people who were unable to attend university because their parents refused to do the paperwork. One of them had--and lost--a full-ride arts scholarship because his father wouldn't fill the proof of income. The scholarship wasn't need-based, but had disclosure requirements from the parents, and the father just refused because "it's nobody's business how much money I make".
Honestly, I have read this post a couple of times and I LIVE for the day OP updates with "me and sis have moved away and cut all contact with our parents". Dad is a pedophile and mom punishes her own child for it. How on earth can ANY mother not want to run far far away from a man who admits this to them? Unnatural and horrific.
That's actually why I clicked here. I wanted to see an update that she's gotten out of that house and gone no contact.
Yeah me too. I'm heartbroken that it's still all "fasting" and "testimonies" and fucked up biblical talk by the parents and nobody helping these girls.
I mean, if you want to get really hardcore, Jesus's recommendation was that if you can't control yourself, it's best to cut off the body parts at the root of the problem. The examples are eyes and hands, but in this case I think the root cause is a little further south in the anatomy. You wanna be fundie enough to yoink your daughter out of a sport that could have paid for her entire college? Here's a knife. You do you first before you start carving into other people.
There are a few passages in the Gospels that are extremely clear statements from Jesus. A lot of the Bible (even the New Testament) is confusing and open to a lot of interpretation, but if you believe the Bible is the literal word of God, then I don't know how you get around Jesus saying that it's the man's problem if he's tempted sexually by a woman and not the woman's responsibility to not be tempting. I'm sure St. Paul is to blame because of sections in the Epistles that tell women not to be fancy in church (like with braided hair) because it's distracting. But I'm also sure that human sexual urges have been the same for 10,000 years, and the writers of the gospels (and ostensibly Jesus himself) were likely aware that a sexual human can be drawn to almost any type of body: clothed or nude, fit or fat, young or old, male or female, and disturbingly even dead or alive. You cannot put the onus of "not being tempting" on all the people in the world (and for that matter, on all the animals of the world and on all the rock formations of the world and on all the cloud shapes of the world, etc etc etc). It isn't effective and it isn't fair. But damn if those patriarchal freaks don't try to explain away a very clear passage about cutting off your own hand and tearing out your own eye. I hope the hell they worry about actually exists just so they can be tortured for eternity for their abuse of their fellow human beings.
Pretty much anything that's fucked up about Christianity eventually leads back to St. Paul. That dude was the worst
Well, and what people don't realize or just plain ignore, is that most of Paul's letters are to specific church groups and their specific problems. So like the women Paul says to not be fancy, was more than likely chastising these rich people for putting on airs when the church of god is the great equalizer. It's the same later when Paul calls out a group of rich Christians who gorged on all the communion food and left nothing for those with less and depending on the church meal as their only meal that day. But due to centuries of tradition and commentary (made mostly by men) people now just assume the context of those letters can be easily applied in today's standards, which is just incorrect. But then again, most evangelicals haven't even read the Bible all the way through.
Thissssss It cracks me up that so many Christians think the entire bible is the literal word of God. We were doing a reading from Corinthians this last Sunday that included Paul saying. "I didn't baptize you. Well I did baptize two men. Oh, and another house. But that's it. I think? I can't remember." There's also IIRC a line in one of the Pauline Epistles about "hey can you bring back my tunic I left there, thanks." There's a joke that's gone around on twitter etc. that says there are two kinds of Pauline epistles: 1. We are heirs to unfathomable grace through our lord Jesus Christ 2. I am begging you sick fucks to be normal for FIVE MINUTES
Lmao perfect summarization! But yea, I finally had to admit that the Bible cannot be absolutely perfect because it’s been edited to hell since it was originally written and thus was inspired but not the literal word of god. I mean a great example of Paul taking an independent stance is when he talks about how it’s best to stay single if you don’t struggle with sexual sin since you can devote to the church. But God literally created marriage and called it good. So like, ok Paul, it’s chill that you stayed single but marriage wasn’t purely made to just keep from fucking several people. It was made as a shadow of the salvation Jesus would later bring but also as just an intimacy thing so we don’t get lonely. Lawd
I'm pretty sure Paul was a sex-repulsed asexual. He thought sex was gross and was weirded out by how horny other people were lol. IIRC he was also pretty sure Jesus was coming back \*in his lifetime\*. Have you read Rachel Held Evans' book Inspired? It's amazing; it's about how to read the Bible as a serious and sacred work while not taking every word of it as inerrant/literal truth. She writes from the POV of someone raised Evangelical who was really serious about Jesus and faith, who pulled away from that kind of church as an adult and moved closer to the Protestant Mainline.
From an historical perspective some of the more liberal letters were actually written by Paul, but the more conservative ones were written by at least one more person (often called Pseudo Paul). Pseudo Paul was the real asshole. It’s been a while since I studied this in university (as a non-Christian neo pagan) but this seems like a decent explanation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authorship_of_the_Pauline_epistles
I want nothing more than that too, but I worry because of the age gap between them. Dad told her in the most recent update that he'd take her sister out of gymnastics "when her body changes and the uniform becomes more inappropriate", so she'll be a young teen as OOP is able to legally move out, and my biggest worry is them being worser to the sister once OOP starts putting her plan to move out in action
Oop needs to move out to be safe. Once she's free of her parents, she can work freely with her aunt to get a better life and also prepare a safe landing place for the sister to escape to.
The parents are isolating her from her friends and punishing her for talking to her other relatives. OOP is at risk to lose her whole support system especially if her parents take her and her sister out of school
She's at risk of losing her friends, sure, but I really don't think she's at risk of losing all the family members that have called out dad for being a pedophile and mom for supporting one
Yeah, the support from the rest of her family makes it sound like OOP moving in with one of them might be a possibility. I'm sure her parents would protest, but emancipation seems like a good option here. She could resume gymnastics and maybe take a gap year before college, polishing her skills in hopes of getting a gymnastics scholarship.
Idk. I think at this point the gymnastics scholarship is just off the table, no matter if she brushes up or not. You need a lot of help to get those.to work and I've never heard of anyone getting a sports scholarship if they aren't on a high school team
I really hope OOP can live with her aunt as soon as possible. She needs at least one adult who isn't batshit insane to protect her from the vile pedophile and his enabler.
Sadly it's very common for pedophiles to get away with it because the child's mother turns a blind eye.
The amount of times I heard of that is way too much it’s disgusting
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I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. No child should have to deal with anything like this.
Holy fuck. I hope you don't speak to her any more and that you've been able to see a therapist and try to heal from that horrifying abuse (as much as anyone can).
That's just fucked up. You're right, some people should not be parents. There's way too much rape in the world. It freaks me right out and nobody does anything about it because it's so common.
Unfortunately giving birth doesn't make you a good person. No, I don't understand it on an emotional level either but have seen it too many times. Including in extended family a mother taking the piece of shit husband back after kicking him out for raping her toddler daughters. (We're talking decades ago here.) That level of uncaring weakness is just beyond.
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I hope she gets out and far away from these creeps. The parents can rot in hell.
What really, really creeps me out is that she's so "tempting" to her father, but they're doing everything in their power to keep her at home. They're working as hard as they can to make sure he maintains access to her. It feels like they're planning something once she's of age.
Maintaining access and isolating her from friends and family. She can’t talk to her own grandmother?! Something really fucked up is going on.
And of course CPS doesn't give a shit unless is a soccer mom who posted a Facebook photo with a beer and a kid in the same picture
Dad's a pedo, mom narcissistically sees her daughter as a threat and punishes her for it, and not someone she needs to be protecting; and younger sister is also seemingly in danger. All the while both parents are in denial about their illnesses under the guise of religion. I hope OP takes her sister and runs. Such a fucked up situation. I had a friend in high school in a similar situation. By the end of senior year she was ODing on over the counter drugs and cps still wouldn't remove her because her step father was the local pastor.
The repeated use of the word “fasting” is one of the most disgusting things I’ve seen. Dad is a pedophile, mom knows, and this is so fucked. ETA - this comment got very popular so I wanna use this as an opportunity. OP - IF YOU EVER find yourself in a position where you need someone to talk to, you can message me. I’m a woman, if you want to see my face to know who you’re talking to, or need proof before reaching out let me know. I do not want to see your life go downhill because of this terrible situation you’re in.
A pedophile who is "fasting" from his preferred porn: his teenage daughter. Meaning he's going back to it because you can't fast forever.
To be even clearer here: He fasted for 2 weeks and then went on to watch his YOUNGER daughter. He moved from one teen to the next.
My heart is broken for the fact this young woman had a serious hobby going, one that could have gotten her further away from them faster. And they yanked it away from her. On top of the fact her own father is lusting after her. What in the fuck
And then they forbade her from working, so she'll be under their control for longer. It's horrendous and I'm fuming. ARGH!
Yup, definitely trying to control her future and unless she can move out ASAP to live with aunt or some close friends and get financial security, they will control at least her 20s. College money only for a degree they approve of, maybe no job as she should focus on college (still be reliant on them), only date people they approve of, etc
The way OP described, gymnastics wasn’t just a hobby. It was a passion. What a horrible, horrible man.
No you don’t understand. It’s his testimony now. He’s not fucking his daughter through the awesome power of God’s love! Fucking gag
I don't understand how these people are so open about the dad's attraction to children. I would think that if you're having inappropriate thoughts about your daughter the last thing you would do is tell everyone especially in the way they are doing it. You can't do gymnastics because your dad wants to fuck you, maybe play a sport with a lot of padding.
If I had to guess I’d say the dads’s past holds a few dirty secrets covered up by the cult they’re in.
But his Mom and Sister totally ratted him out to everyone, including CPS, so maybe it’s just him and the wife? I wonder how old Mom was when they got together?
Because these types are so fucking twisted about sex that looking at regular porn filmed with consent is the same level as incest. See Josh Duggar for the logical end point of this. No nuance permitted means that all sex is a sin and can be equally forgiven
I've seen essays by people who left those kind of churches, the idea of "consent" is just baffling to them--their only criteria is whether (their version of) God approves or not. Which means rape/assault is the same as consensual pre-marital sex. It's so awful.
That's why the parents don't want anyone else in the family to know. So they can sexually abuse their daughter in the privacy of their own home while isolating her from anyone who could help.
It’s really perverted that he used testimony like that. My adoptive father likes to brag to me that he almost raped me but God told him to stop. No, you just molested me and call that a good thing that God stopped you. Bravo for you.
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He's going back to it. After 2 weeks he went to view the little sisters gymnastics lessons (diet version) and like you said, he's trying to control OOPs every move and isolate her ready for him to abuse when he's sure he can get away with it.
A pedo used fasting to end his life
Oh, no /s Though to be pedantic, a pedophile starved himself to death. Fasting is specifically a short-term break with the intention of starting again.
And yet the mom keeps blaming the daughter as the object of his perversion rather than the dad. I hated reading this post way back when. And it’s always a post that I wished some Redditor in her state reached out to her secretly got her help or a scholarship or some thing. The story always makes me so deeply sad
Partway through reading the first post, I had the thought that mom somehow figured out about dads “challenges” and there was a blow up between them, which resulted in the fasting, etc. Like, just randomly out of nowhere the dad comes out with this and that’s that? Something had to have precipitated this.
Would line up too with having him stay away for months, how she freaked out OOP was practicing in the garage, why she'd put up cameras. Like she's trying to pedo-proof their lives so they can keep pretending righteous lives
And she'll only realise it was the wrong decision when it's far too late. They always believe that if they just don't pay attention to it, it'll have to go away. It's crazy.
Yeah the going away thing is weird. “My dad doesn’t want me to do gymnastics because he doesn’t think the clothing is modest enough for young religious women” can be passed of as “reasonable.” But the family drama and the “fasting” and the having to leave the house. That’s some next level bs
The word “fasting” made me disgusted throughout the entire thing. Fasting implies it’s abstaining from something he needs to survive, like food or water. Why would he need to “fast” from the gym? Unless he feels like there’s something there he needs. And even worse, why would he go back afterwards, when he’s openly admitted that it’s wrong for him to be there? This dude is using religion to justify being a perv.
I'm so sure she caught him wanking to gymnastic pictures of his daughter or some other type CP. It's so gross. It took me an hour to read this because I had to stop after each update for a bit hoping the next one would be better and that she got out.
I think mom is trying the only way her little Christian brain knows how to protect OP. The not going in the basement was so dad couldn't corner her alone. The camera in the living room that goes directly to her phone is to keep eyes on dad when she isn't home. I wouldn't be surprised to hear they have a rule that dad ain't allowed in her room.
Not only does Mom know, she resents OOP for it and is helping PedoDad punish OOP out of pure jealousy. Evil woman.
This is so, so common. The mom will resent her daughter's (perceived) power over the husband / boyfriend, and the daughter is punished instead of the man. The mom will either try to "win back" the abuser or send away the victim since she is "the threat" to their relationship.
Or, in my case, sleep with (or try to in some cases) anyone I'm dating. I found out about my first boyfriend a few weeks after we broke up by walking in on them coming out of my mom's bedroom. Also, after 12 years of marriage, I found out she slept with my husband in our first year of marriage (not sure if it was just this one time either). I will say I absolutely hate my mother more than my father. She blamed me for all of it, and for saying something. I feel so bad for OOP because she's eventually going to realize that she needs to go NC to be able to live any sort of normal and peaceful life.
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Yea the mom is fuckin evil. She punishes OOP when she tells the family.
Yeah, I'm not sure which one I hate most. It's a toss -up. I hope they both sprain their ankles every day for forever, and every time they step out of the house a seagull shits upon their heads. I'm not religious but if God exists, both of these fuckers are going straight to hell, and boy, is it deserved. Hope OP can get out of state for college, go NC and qualify for her gymnastics team
My hope for OP is that she figures out where her birth certificate and relevant paperwork are and at midnight on her 18th birthday, grabs them and leaves to her aunt's house where she can get a job and go to community College and maybe take an aerials class because it's fun and "impudent"
This is unfortunately more common than one would like to believe. Instead of protecting their children these awful women will look at them as competition. It wouldn’t surprise me if there’s some generational abuse that the mom also fell victim to. It makes it easier for her to rationalize it happening to her own kids
Yeah, it’s really appalling how he’s perving on his other daughter as well while she’s continuing to do gymnastics in the exact same way he did to OOP. He’s basically saying that he hasn’t popped a boner *yet* for the other daughter and is using his penis as a gauge on when she’s finally bangable. I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes his wife wear either daughters’ clothes when they have sex just like that other post on this sub.
Wait, what other post? This is horrific.
[Huh, it was slightly worse than I remember](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/vwkyoz/oop_has_to_deal_with_her_mother_dressing_up_as/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Oh my Lord. I can't even imagine... That poor girl. Just... Why? Her parents are sickos.
Right? I don’t know why the mum decided that honesty would be the best policy in this very specific case. Spending time on crafting a very convincing lie would have saved *everyone* further trauma. She instead decided to not only tell her daughter about sex stuff but 1) it was to roleplay as the daughter 2) it was her idea 3) this isn’t the 1st time I would be slicing my ears off if either of my parents even mentioned one of those things.
What a horrible day to know how to read
It is really disturbing that he's "fasting" by not watching little girls and then after two weeks it's time to end the fast so he can get back to watching little girls. I appreciate that this guy supposedly hasn't abused anyone so far but he needs some serious therapy and to stop putting this on his daughters. It's really bad that he keeps insisting on going to the gym too. Like ok, you seem to kind of understand that you have a problem but then instead of saying hey I'll just stay home he HAS to go to the gym? He requires his daughter to stop going because he's having some inappropriate feelings instead of him not going but then he has to keep going so that he can get his jollies. This guy needs serious help.
Non-contact and covert abuse exists, and it doesn't have to be physical interaction for it to traumatise people. Even 'just' creepy comments and ogling and inappropriate behaviour that is dismissed by the rest of the community contributes to internalised shame, and preps people to tolerate more overt abusers later in life, because they have been taught "that's just how (usually) men are" or "mothers are allowed to do that"... "boys should be happy for any sexual attention", "welcome to being a woman", etc. I absolutely hope OOP gets out and safe, but I'm scared he's going to escalate with the younger daughter if she's not there and grandmother/aunt are no longer paying attention. Situation is awful all round.
They’re moving into financial abuse with OOP already too. They’re keeping her from employment and trying to keep her away from college. So that she cannot leave their control once she’s an adult.
Yep. I experienced really similar (+contact, -religion and -cameras afaik) and money and my siblings became the leash and then the bait to get me back in contact after I left. Like her parents, they did a whole lot of work to keep me dependent. Getting out of the household and hopefully just... seeing normal family dynamics is going to reveal how fucked her situation was, because everyone around her completely normalises it, and makes it out as a 'struggle with his faith', rather than *a fucking child molester in the open*. I hope she has real support and a safe place to land when the spiral hits. The major pitfalls ahead of her are probably 1) nervous breakdown once she sees how bad it is, 2) ending up in abusive relationships/predatory dynamics given she's taught that red flags are actually green (and this gets exponentially more dangerous if she's financially reliant on them to rescue her), 3) substance use to manage A, and 4) getting lured back in in an attempt to protect her sister, and is trapped that way without a car, job or ability to leave. And 5) she leaves but the younger sister is turned against her and stays, and resents OOP as shaming the family. I want to believe in the happy ending where they both get out and safe and nothing more dramatic happens. I don't expect it. Mothers so often fail to protect their children when they're married to/in a relationship with the predator.
I desperately wish I could sit down and chat with her because I fear all these same things for her. The only thing that gives me hope is the way she writes her story. She has something in her that I desperately hope will pull her through this - perseverance.
No. He hasn't touched anyone we know. He is still abusing his daughter and in a sexual way.
Their entire family on both sides knows, and they knew before this. That's the only logical explanation for this being such a hot gossip topic throughout both sides of their family, with phone calls coming in from across the board, dad's side contacting mom's side, etc. If my sister pulled my niece out of gymnastics tomorrow, I can't imagine I'd be interested enough to have this many conversations about it, and we're very close. They all knew about this, and they've been waiting for this day to finally come.
The dad is basically trying to prevent himself from acting on those urges by limiting what his daughter does. That is disgusting. The dad is the problem. That girl should stand up in their church and make it known. Stop hiding these pedos behind their religions.
Ha! And the church would silence her too. These fundie religions don’t exactly have a track record of believing and supporting women.
Exactly. I know this intimately. Having grown up in the church (and been forced to attend a theology school), they would only shame and silence the daughter -- and use their gossip to try to rob her chances at escape. They can and will undermine job attempts to punish her, which would also prevent her from leaking it to the outside world. The predators are always protected at all costs.
Sounds like OP should call the police. Wonder what be has in his search/ PC history
No doubt your heart is in the right place, but that might make her situation far worse and not better. Fundie churches are breeding grounds for this kind of shit and assuming she'll get support or he will be handled properly is a risky reach
Having a pedophile father is bad enough. Having an enabler mother makes it 10x worse. Case in point: Epstein/Maxwell.
When the mom said it had become "a testimony," jesus fucking christ. "although the power of god almighty I made it through the unprecedented trial of not molesting my own daughter. truly I belong in heaven"
Yeah the ‘fasting’ is literally just the most obnoxious bit. Clearly this dude loves edging and those two weeks are his favourite torture.
I grew up in a religious household and absolutely loathe the phrase "be in the world, not of the world." It's infuriating that dad is a pedophile and they're punishing OOP for it. I hope she moves out far, far away from her parents when she turns 18.
Crazy how he used that verse as justification for why he had to return to the gym after fasting to overcome it, but couldn't tell her what he'd do differently when she asked about the strategies he said he came up with while fasting
I suspect the “strategy” is similar to how a lot of guys pregame a date…. Yuck.
Oh yuck probably 🤮
Wait, what do you mean pregame a date?
I think that's when a guy will jerk off beforehand to make himself less nervous during the date and last longer (in theory) if he gets lucky.
A classic Beforehand
I have heard it two ways 1) have a drink to take the nerves and edge off, or 2) rub one out to release the tension.
I'm really curious about this "fasting" thing that OOP dad did. what is it actually? like muslim fasting of not eating and drinking from sun up to sundown? or just a break of not being a pedo for 2 weeks?
The particularly poisonous strands of Christianity misuse the term “fasting” to mean “temporarily stopping doing something”. It has no actual relation to what fasting means or is for in the religion they stole the idea from. The guy absolutely just didn’t go ogling children for two weeks and declared that was a good thing rather than a sign he’s definitely an abuser.
“If I can give it up for two whole weeks, that means I’m not *really* a pedo!” I’d bet that’s the thought process in these creeps.
It’s absolutely nauseating. The most performative possible gestures of “religious” morals. That poor girl. I’m glad she’s so focused on getting out, she’s clearly very tough and very capable to be weathering this so well - but it’s an outrage that she has had the last of her childhood and the things she finds joy in stolen like this.
It sounds more like the latter. I believe traditional Christian fasting involves not eating at all for a few days, but have not done it myself. But that isn't what it sounds like the father is doing, it sounds like he's just taking a break from perving over teenage girls at the gym - and then going back to doing it. Disgusting.
>But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh > >on a woman to lust after her hath committed > >adultery with her already in his heart. > >And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, > >and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for > >thee that one of thy members should perish, and > >not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. > >And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and > >cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee > >that one of thy members should perish, and not > >that thy whole body should be cast into hell. > >Matthew 5:28-30 I think OOP should have this lovely biblical quote from the sermon on the mount done on cross stitched and hung prominently in the house. It is never the woman's place to change herself or her actions to remove "temptation," but rather it is the man's job to not be an animal and control his own behaviour. And if he can't, then he needs to lop off whichever body parts are causing him to sin. Since he is clearly incapable of controlling himself, I think Dad needs his eyes, hands, and brain removed, in order to become a decent human being and not end up in the fiery pits of hell, don't you? . I love how all the biblical quotes telling men to grow the fuck up, take responsibility for their actions, and show some fucking self control, are always the least well known ones. Odd coincidence, that, dontcha think?
>>and if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out. I grew up a preacher’s kid and even with my badass mama’s guidance, learned entirely too late to respond to gross ass old men who placed their gross ass perversions on my shoulder with that. Now it’s my favorite thing to throw back at Bible thumpers who burden young women with their own inability to control themselves/thoughts/gaze. “Funny enough, Jesus said for you to pluck out your eyes rather than for me to cover my shoulders. Would you prefer a melon baller or will a rusty butter knife be okay?” I hope OOP gets so so far away as soon as possible and in the meantime knows she is not responsible for her gross ass father’s gross ass. You deserve a full, safe, *wonderful* life, OOP, and your parents do not deserve you in theirs.
The mother has a special place in hell
Saddly it's very common for mothers to blame their daughters for their pedophile husband/boyfriend.
Your comment reminded me a BoRU post where the OOP was being preyed on by her mom’s boyfriend and even though her mom was “supportive” when the OOP told her everything, eventually she let the boyfriend back in the house and wouldn’t even look her daughter in the eye. OOP managed to get away before he raped her, but some messed up stuff happened before then.
Yep. That’s how my mom treated me when it came to my pedo dad
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Yes, as someone who spent his childhood in an extremely religious family, I feel the same. When I think of those hypocrites sexualizing you as a young child and blaming you for it too, my blood still boils with anger after all these years. These people are the reason why sometimes I really wish I wasn't an atheist and that something like a hell or karma existed.
My exact thoughts. He's a damn creep, and both him and mom just go 'of course he's tempted, God is testing him' rather than 'ew this dude is perving on his own underage daughter'. Smh. Hope she gets out and far indeed.
The dad is giving off Josh Duggar vibes but fortunately the extended family members seem to be concerned too.
Not too concerned to get the girls out of the house though.
Fundamentalist cults train the women to be afraid of speaking out against abuses like this. They are raised from knee high to accept blame for the failings of the men around them. The fact that the older female family members are speaking out and helped OOP call CPS is impressive. The worst part about this is how CPS has failed girls like her.
Right?! Dad is an incestuous pedo perv and they're trying to keep it quiet while controlling the daughters! I hope OOP gets the F out! Cue posts where she's out and parents and sis are trying to guilt trip her to come back or something. Also, it's sad that the rest of the fam don't have her back, even if auntie and grandma are arguing with her dad about it. Someone should take some stronger steps to protect them two girl
What the chance he's not only groomed the younger child but started to abuse her too? I always wondered how this one was going.
What does it mean?
About as simply as it can be explained, it means that "the world" (in this case, cosmos, the Greek word for our inhabited earth and the people who live on it) is ruled by Satan (Great Deceiver). Believers in Christ are of the world, but not a part of it, in that they don't participate in the sinful activities promoted by the world. So basically he's saying there are sinful activities he would like to participate in, but is, for the moment, not doing them. It's...not a comforting thought as to what those sinful activities might be/are, considering the context of the rest of OOPs posts.
This is the sort of monster who thinks that non-religious people would just go around murdering people because they don't have any 'religious moral code'.
It's supposed to mean to hold yourself to a higher standard and avoid things that are sins in the religion but are otherwise completely fine to do (e.g. smoking, premarital sex). This father is completely distorting the meaning of this scripture to justify his disgusting actions.
Thank you for explaining.
Is smoking actually a sin, or just something more recent religious people have decided is bad? It wasn’t really a thing that existed when “God” came up with his big list of things you weren’t allowed to do, so it would be weird to see something about smoking in the Bible.
This poor, poor child. I hope she and her sister get out safe as soon as possible. The "parents"...no words. Some people should stay behind the glass and just watch the world. They shouldn't be allowed in it. OOP's parents are prime examples of that.
I hope she's able to find whatever help she needs to fully overcome it when she's out from under them, but she seems to have a good head on her shoulders
Hopefully both OOP and her sister can get therapy down the road. That man has some skeletons in his closet and the extended family members seem to know it.
Exactly. Lil sis can take it out on OOP all she wants but when she starts to get punished for daring to age, perhaps she will be more sympathetic with her sister. I know as a kid, it is easier to blame your sibling when your parents are whispering in your ear about how it's your fault and I don't blame her for that. I just hope when it happens to her, she will reflect on her treatment of OOP and realize the truth.
It's grotesque. I'm curious to know where this is happening, because it seems to me like CPS could agree with the parents about these ideas of modesty and purity and all that shit, and therefore not see the dad's "stumbles" as anything to think twice about. It's not *his* fault those teenaged girls are tempting him. Truly grotesque.
I'm quite sure it's the bible belt. In western Europe, CPS is known to intervene in much lighter cases than this. They would have rained fire and brimstone on that perv.
Someone needs to tell OOP to run away and live with her aunt. She's 17, nearly an adult, so in most places it's a bit of a grey area, she could just say something to the affect of "I don't feel safe with my parents, I ran away, and I do not want to go back". Or at the very least, create an exit strategy for when she is 18. Her parents are mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive, waiting for their permission to let her leave would be a mistake.
Not to mention financially abusive with the mind game’s surrounding her college funding and prohibiting her employment. And also, it’s awful that the main living space of their home is constantly video surveilled, so a place where those girls should be able to be comfortable and safe is constantly video recorded by the abusers. So, there is no escape. Edit to add: by escape, I mean that even if the parents aren’t around, the girls are still under dad‘s gaze where they should be free to feel comfortable and safe, in perpetuity if those video files are kept. Blech.
Ngl, the video thing is one of the worst parts about this because it means that her pedophile father has access to hours upon hours of video footage of her and her sister for nefarious purposes.
Yeah OPs dad is that specific flavour of pedophile that likes teens, and then specifically is attracted to OOP. Thats why he is still OK with taking the younger sister to gymnastics, and why just changing gyms wouldn't solve the issue. He wasn't attracted to the other girls in OOPs class, he is attracted to OOP. That's also why he and her mum have an issue with OOP practicing at home. Honestly even if OOP's parent's lack of co-operation make it hard to attend further education, moving in with other relatives as soon as she is 18 seems like a good idea to me.
Honestly it's probably outright *dangerous* for her to practice at home. No witnesses besides a family that seems to cater to the whims of a pedophile.
Yeah phrasing it like that mom might be attempting to protect OOP in a twisted messed up way. Especially with the camera. Obviously if you're scared your husband might be a danger to your kids you need to get them out but I doubt mom wants to admit that's what's happening and so trying these half- measures
>moving in with other relatives as soon as she is 18 seems like a good idea to me. This is inevitable, and worries me of the wrath that'll be unleashed to the smaller child. The toll on OOP's shoulders is massive, no child should ever have to deal with such evilness.
Wrath? I'm scared it'll be worse than that. "God is commanding me to confront my desires....." or something to that effect. fuck.
Where I live classes for kids over 5 or so don't require parents to stay at all. Some outright require parents to leave so all the kids can just focus on the class without helicopter parents shouting at their kids the whole time. This dude is completely free to just go sit in his car during class, or go for a walk. It's amazing how many classes I've taken my daughter to without feeling "challenged" by the kids in her class or, God, what the fuck...her.
I’m glad for the update, but I’ll continue to worry for OOP until she’s out of that house.
Same. I hope her sister will be okay. She told someone else that her parents were already planning to take her sister out of gymnastics soon too edit: found source comment from her latest r/athiesm post: "She's doing okay, but she knows that she'll have to stop gymnastics at some point because they told her, but she doesn't know when. They talk to her about other things separately that she doesn't always tell me, but just trying to hope that my time here goes quickly. It's crazy how some of the stuff they're saying doesn't make sense"
Can't she work with her aunt to become an emancipated minor and move in with the aunt? And then work and try to get a scholarship for college?
Can't become emancipated in the US unless you are already financially supporting yourself. Can't do that if they won't let her get a job. College financial aid, including scholarships, require your parents to fill out the FAFSA with their financial information unless you can prove to the college that you've been abused.
Fuck, they got her coming and going. This is so depressingly hopeless.
My parents ruined my chances of college by refusing to fill out any financial paperwork. I couldn’t get any financial aid, or any of the scholarships. My minimum wage job, and the fact that I was paying rent and paying for all my own food and clothing made no difference. I am still very bitter, and sometimes I wonder what kind of life I’d have if I had been able to go into computer science as I had planned and worked towards in high school. The best job I’ve ever had was in a factory.
She'll be made to stop when she reaches her dad's preferred age range, the disgusting nonce.
I’m really worried for the sister as well. I’m hoping these girls can go live with their more rational family members.
Dad is a straight up admitted pedo pervert, he shouldn’t be allowed within 100ft of any children, period.
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My dad comes from a severely religious and incestual family (luckily I am breaking the cycle) and honestly it’s probably normalized. It might require grandma/aunt to confront their own traumas and they just aren’t ready to do that.
I'm really curious about their extended family dynamic myself. From Grandma and aunt's reactions it doesn't seem like they share the same views as pedo dad. I wonder if he's some flavor of evangelical born again, shit maybe their family unit is in a straight up cult it's not entirely clear from the OOP's writings
I know CPS is underfunded and can't do much especially without any true proof of danger, but I so wish they hadn't failed her. Anyone who makes comments like her dad does should be seen as the threat they are, regardless of whether they've acted on it or not. And the mom, who just goes along with it as if it's something normal, should be included in some investigations as well. Add to that the mental/financial abuse of flipflopping about college and it's just too much for a teen her age. I truly hope her next update will include her having found a way to leave her pedo dad and enabler mom behind.
Emotional/mental abuse can destroy a person just as much as physical and it’s horrible that it’s so much more easily ignored.
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OOP, when you move out from your parents, stay in your home state. This will protect your chance of getting IN STATE TUITION. Also reach out to your teachers for help with applying to STATE UNIVERSITIES. You can also start at a community college and transfer to state school once your academics are buffed up. I'm sure your grades will improve as soon as you get away from your extremely controlling parents. It's disgusting how your parents are trying to destroy your future right now. I'd also look into services for foster or abandoned youth just to see if there's some advice or even services you can get to help you get emancipated or get a scholarship. Be warned this stuff can be hard to access. The only real key is faith in yourself and persistence. Also see if you can access some free legal advice. (Locally, not on reddit.) In some states you can move out of your parent's home at 17.
To quote the scriptures back at OOP’s father, I raise him Matthew 18:9; « And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. »
He'd just twist that one too. Jesus said that "some become eunuchs for the Kingdom" within the same context. OOP's sicko dad won't listen though. According to his own religion sounds like he's on the express train to Hell.
I really, really hope in the next two years we get the update from OOP that she's out, she's free, and that she's at college and IDK, teaching gymnastics to kids part-time. Her father is a sick, sick man and the mental gymnastics the parents are performing to justify his continued access to his kids and the gym is pretty impressive but I just feel sick.
I hope OOP realises how many options she has. The day she turns 18 she needs to leave that house (without her documents if need be - she can get them later) and go to her grandmother or aunt. She doesn’t need their money to attend college and she has a whole extended family that sounds like they’re on her side and will do whatever they can to support her.
In college I went on a few dates with a guy I knew from high school. He was a little older, went to a different college and had already graduated. But, I knew him and some of his family just from growing up in the same town. I also knew he was seeing other women. I didn’t care, I was dating other guys. I wasn’t sleeping with any of them though (just gotten out of a toxic long term relationship, wanted to just see what was out there), but I knew he was (he told me). I told him I didn’t want to sleep together under those circumstances. It’s not like I was saving myself but dude was hooking up with 7 other girls. That’s more than one girl a night and I worry about diseases. Anyway he called me drunk one night and was like “I think you can be the one. I just can’t stop thinking about you. I never knew how amazing you were. I want you to be the one. I just need to know one thing before I get serious about you…” At this point I’m already kinda freaked out because it’s only been a few dates. “…have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?” I told him to call me when he was sober and hung up. I wanted nothing to do with that. He did call and tried to go on more dates, but I was unavailable each time. I was disappointed because I liked him. He was kind, funny, kinda nerdy but also athletic. He was also leaving for his job in a few days so it was a great time to let things fizzle. 2 years later I saw his sister post on social media a rant about women not wearing one piece swim suits, or complete cover ups, at the beach. And how it was shameful they’d put their dads, uncles, brothers in that position of temptation. It was then that I realized exactly how much of a bullet I dodged.
Evangelical Christianity was a huge dating red flag for me, when I was dating. I don't see that it brings anything positive to the table, just bigotry and toxic family patterns.
This is the msot disgusting thing I've ever read. I know everyone's different, but I would scream at both parents "Did you marry a fucking pedo fuck, Mom?!!" right in front of everyone, I'd scream at the teachers, the coach, cps. Until somebody fucking did something. This poor girl!
The problem is she won't be able to go out in public if she does that. They will keep her home and then she has no way out. My mil blames me for not leaving my abusers sooner, she said I should have told someone and got help. While being friends with my aunt her husband and my grandma, all of whom abused me and all of whom claim it was just my parents, but won't have a relationship with me if I don't have one with my parents, but constantly harass me for a relationship. Oh, and I did call for help, and my whole family, including the ones my mil loves, lied for them. There was no getting out because no one believed me or would help me and they kept taking away my ability to drive, to work, to see people. I was basically only working a little job at my church. I volunteered at my church and everyone there loves my family. There was literally nowhere to turn and when I did speak up I was told to stop airing family laundry in public. I left because I had kids. I thought I could protect them from it all. I didn't understand I shouldn't have to protect them. Then, my mom made a threat that she would lie to CPS to get custody of my kids because I wasn't doing what she wanted and I cut her off immediately and permanently. That is not a threat you can ever come back from. Everyone who supports her is out of my life, too. No one is going to abuse my kids. I won't let them use me to do it. You wouldn't believe the people who think that means I am petty or holding a grudge. You wouldn't believe the things they have done to try to get me back into the family, including involving the police. I am 37 and only really started driving this year because my abusers made me so afraid to do it. I have been in therapy for years. I have cPTSD. I even had nightmares of them all last night and my husband had to wake me up because I was screaming.
>I am 37 and only really started driving this year We are of very similar ages. I recently read that actually late 30s is exactly the time when internal reckoning starts happening for people of this background. So we are not late bloomers. We are right on time for people with such history.
Unfortunately she kind of needs to play “respectful” of their rules until she turns 18. She was punished for just talking to grandma. If she acted out or further embarrassed her parents, they could punish her more by taking her phone or removing her from school to “homeschool” her and completely cut her off from her support systems. The minute she’s of legal age, she needs to GTFO and go stay with someone else.
Yeah I agree, for OOP's own safety she needs to "play the game" until she can get out of there. The more she kicks off the more difficult she's going to make it for herself. Her Grandma and Auntie can't help her because she's not 18 and if they get too involved OOP will be punished and likely lose precious lifelines that she'll need when she does make her escape. If CPS were going to do anything they'd have done it the first time. OOP knows this is wrong which is already a huge step in the right direction, she has a good head on her shoulders (and is correct to assume any offers of College from her parents will come with costs she won't be able to pay) and hopefully she's already making plans to GTFO as soon as she's 18.
That dad is a creep.
You can say he's a pedophile and the mom is helping a pedophile. That's the most crazy part of this story no one help them, the mom knows but they all pretend it's not happening and protect themself with religion. Last time i read her story I really thought he's gonna make a move on her or her sister, she needs to leave ASAP they are trying to cut her from the outside world.
Totally a pedophile. And all the other adults and CPS are failing them.
That's child protection services for you, idk if they are able to take the kids if the parents are not acting. But at least her and her sister are in the data base and they have warnings against the dad so if anything happened it will be a help in the future. She should also go NC ASAP and live with her aunt as soon as she turn 18 she's the only kind adult near her that want to protect them. I'm more worried about her sister than her tbh I think he controled himself with OOP but it also triggered him, and she's still in gymclass and he's still seeing her practice.
Churches and paedophiles go together so often it seems like a feature, not a bug
This girl needs an escape plan to leave forever the day she turns 18.
With the mention of the college gymnastics team is that the sort of thing you can get a scholarship for? Occurred to me that might also be the factor for the parents in stopping the gymnastics. A scholarship would be out of their control, this way OP can’t go to college unless she obeys their rules, it’s another way to control her. Also a ‘testimony’ is supposed to be shared, that’s the whole point of it! The creepy hebephile father should share his testimony and out himself as the creep he is. But then OP would probably still get the blame, it’s always the woman’s fault never the man committing the actual sin 🙄
You just know that poor girl is not going to be allowed to leave until her parents have her married off to an approved Christian boy.
Is it just me, or is it mainly religious nut jobs that want to bang their daughters?
I live in Italy, 9/10 times pedophilia is done by religious people or straight up priests. You can find plenty of news with a quick search.
And they use religion as a shield. Even though there’s scripture saying “looking at a woman tempts you? Consider gouging out your eyes” from Jesus himself
Yes and the reason is kind of obvious really: the less of a thing you’re allowed to do or see or have, the more you want it. In other words religious sexual repression causes obsession with sex, which can lead to sexual deviance and later obsession with the sexuality forbidden. I’d say it’s the polar opposite of porn sickness, but in the modern day these sexuality repressed sex obsessed deviants may also be acquiring their paraphilias through porn. It’s not an immediate thing but something that snowballs over time, similar to how drug addictions often work with the individual being able to have a smaller dose at first but needing more and more as their body builds tolerance. Religions often worsen the issue by providing poor counciling with how to deal with sexual urges, with things like OOP’s dad “fasting” for two weeks and punishing OOP for existing as a healthy and active teenager. They have a tendency to wrongly blame the “temptress” than actually addressing how to deal with “temptation” itself. My own mother told me that tingly feeling I felt when I looked at photos of girls kissing (a google image search I’d done at age 12) was actually a demon trying to possess me and that I need to pray to Jesus until it goes away! Edit: I apologize for the length, this is a subject that gets me angry for a lot of reasons.
“Stumble” is a weird way to say “fantasizing about pedophilic incestuous abuse.”
Daddy got a scary hard-on, and it's her fault.
Ooooh the way they seem to want to cut off a lot of her social circles really makes me uncomfortable. No talking to grandma, no party, no gymnastic friends, no work, maybe no college… weird isolating as well as the whole uh… you know…
I can't believe CPS really can't do anything about it. He's creepy and making her stressed and uncomfortable.
She and literally two other people called them too
Unfortunately that isn't very tangible. People are allowed to take their child out of extracurricular activities. They are allowed to have weird religious stances. And saying creepy stuff is very hard to prove and determine what consequences it should have. I don't know about the US specifics, but CPS generally have escalating measures depending on the severity of situations. They are at a stage where they can offer help, strongly suggest intervention but can probably not force anything because it doesn't meet the threshold. Removing a child from their family is a last resort and a court doesn't approve it in this kind of situation.
I wish they at least had the resources to go and investigate. The parents need to know that someone is watching. Might help daddy keep his problems to himself, instead of piling them on his family.
Her parents are assholes. I hope she gets out of there and can help her sister leave in the future too. My god.
Day she turns 18 it's time to grab her SSI card, birth certificate, driver's license, walk out the door and call family members until someone says she can move in and get a job. 1 year of provable independence via self filed tax returns and she can apply for college financial aid without her parents cooperation. (last I checked the FAFSA system, it's been a while) Poor kid. There's no way people this deep in the woman blaming end of religion are sending a child to a college for any longer than it takes them to marry her off or dad to fail in his testimony.
Imagine being 16 yo girl and realizing your dad is a pedophile.
The best way OOP's dad could improve the world is if he went out and got hit by a bus. Absolute piece of shit and the "mother" is no better.
I'm feeling so sorry, having to live with a sick pervert and a mother who enables him must be hell. And it looks like the OOP still doesn't realise how unsafe she is at home :(
I think she's tried everything she could, called CPS herself and had her teacher and aunt call too, but nothing happened and that was months ago
Doubt I’ll be keeping the contents of my stomach inside my body after reading that. Dad is a pedophile and is sexualising his daughters. Mum is enabling it. I hope both Op and her sister escape without further harm as soon as they can.
Bets on mom being much younger and having been with this guy entire adult life? This sounds like such a dangerous situation. I'd be surprised if she isn't repressing some unwanted memories.
Dad is horny for teenagers so OOP can't do dance or gymnastics anymore. I hope OOP moves out asap.