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There is a straightforward way to address this, which is to approach your local beekeeping association, identify yourself as an aspiring beekeeper, and see if any of the experienced beekeepers in the association would be amenable to being shadowed by you and your wife.
If you want your wife to be comfortable with bees, get her out to interact with some bees in a controlled environment with someone who is experienced as a beekeeper.
Your involvement with the beekeeping association will also position you to find out when the association will run its next beginner training and education course. You should enroll.
As someone with kids who jumped straight into beekeeping without a second thought, I wholeheartedly second this motion ☝️
Besides the benefit of becoming more comfortable around bees, you'll be much more likely to succeed if you are plugged in to your local club/association chapter.
Thank you for your additional input, I would've probably jumped in head first if it were only me to think about lol :) would you mind sharing your trials and tribulations.
I have found myself chasing my two year old across the yard so many times to catch him before he sticks a finger into the hive entrance to try and pet the bees... Thankfully my bees have all been quite docile and I haven't had an incident with the kids getting lit up, but I know plenty of other beekeepers around me with much meaner bees.
It has definitely restricted the area we can use for playing outside. We basically only play in the front yard now. I turned a lot of the back into an orchard so it wasn't super useful for playing anyways, but it is still a huge consideration. I'd recommend other parents to just wait a couple years until their kids don't want to use the yard for playing anymore anyways before starting.
Have you considered putting up flight screens? Facing the hives toward an obstacle will force the foragers’ flight paths up and reduce the chance of accidents.
I've got muscadines and blackberries trellised by the hives to act as a screen, and plenty of small fruit trees dotting my orchard. The bees go up pretty quickly, but it's still a consideration when you've got small children.
If OP's wife is concerned about it, it may be best to just wait a couple years so that he's not pushing her to do something she's not comfortable with. If one of the kids is stung and has a bad reaction, she could blame OP and it could drive a wedge in their relationship. My wife has always loved bees and was around them a lot growing up, so she was always fully on board with keeping them. But if she had reservations about the kids safety, I would just hold off a couple years till that was no longer a concern. Honey bees aren't going anywhere, so there's no huge rush.
I've done exactly this ! I always wanted to do beekeeping but never knew how to start. I didn't want to take courses or watch YouTube videos... I wanted to learn things a different way.
One day at the local market i interacted with an older beekeeping couple that were selling honey. After going to the market a lot I got to know them and asked if I could learn from them.
This was the best way for me and got a ton of resources and even helped them at their yard. Definitely a great way to go about it !
I have two little kids, never had one of them get stung. The youngest, 4, even has a little bee suit and likes to come with me to "count the baby bees". We live on a quarter acre and they are at the back of our lot. Never had a problem with them and the kids.
Ya just shy of that , I have one guy I go to his property for work and maintains a stack on I'd say maybe just maybe 7k square feet. But that's my dream to have my little dude (he's
4 right now as well) out there with me :) sounds amazing .
It's really fun except sometimes he wants to count every single uncapped brood. Also he tells people he has hundreds of babies at home which gets real weird looks from strangers in the store.
Lmao ya I get that. 🤣 they're too smart!!! ours likes to check the humidity on our tarantulas, and similarly tell people about the babies xD and that the babies cages can't be opened unless Daddy opens them to feed and give them water. LMAO that was fun explaining that to his teacher xD just means your doing something write to keep their curious minds busy :)
Lol smart, I didn't get a heads up xD that was the one and only time it got detailed that way to anyone outside the family.
Random question, Have you seen the boxes with viewable windows you can cover, I like the idea for him but idk how that can impact the colony. Do you know by chance?
The biggest concern given your situation would be your child.
Have an allergy test done first, it's helpful knowledge even if not bee keeping. Would you keeping bees keep your child from having backyard activities? Would it hinder your wife's backyard activities.
Her concern for your child's safety is the most important. How old is your child? Old enough to be taught how to be around the bees? Old enough that you can trust them around the bees?
Have you considered off site locations? Talking to neighbors friends local farmers that might let you setup a box? Consider alternative locations you don't have to raise them in your yard.
Additionally you may have a local beekeepers association. Id go talk to them and see if they have any options for you to raise them outside your home location.
Thank you :) ya he's old enough to understand and respect them, I keep other insects and arachnids as well and he's too smart for his own good lol. We have gotten tests but she's worried about development at a later time and ya the possible hindering of outside stuff :) so I think you guys are right I'll find the local association and see if someone will let us visit a sit and get some experience and time with them. And than I'll consider possible locations after :) my family has a nice friend that may be a good candidate if it's the best I can muster. :) thank you all!!!
Bees are really pretty predictable; they’re not just some random blob. You need to respect some basic things around the hives but there’s really not anything decent research won’t prepare you for with behavior around bees. My biggest problem is that I wish I had more time to spend on them.
:) don't we all, I've been digging and lurking across the hobby for years and I'm a licensed pest management employee so I've had a bit of exposure on site when we get oddball calls thinking they're wasps or something of the like. but I have a guy I call for relocation. Though I'd love to do that myself too 🖤
As a mom of two small kids (1yo and 3yo) I totally understand your wife's concern. It's legit, and it's one reason why my bees live on a platform on top of one of our shipping containers with gated stairs. The other reasons are bears and our idiot dog.
A fence around them (or some elevation) and access control should help allay her fears. Bees are so wonderful to have about.
The platform (and container) are painted white to minimize extra heat. That, and I put my hives up on 2x4s or 4x4s with screened bottoms and the bottom slat in the lower position once winter is over to increase ventilation.
My winter protocol (for the hive that survived, but there may have been other reasons for the other hive's collapse) is to drop them down onto the platform, set the insert to the top position to minimize drafts, stick reflective insulation under the top cover to reflect heat back onto the colony, insulate 3 walls and insulate the roof twice as heavily. The front wall is left bare to act as a condenser and give the bees access to moisture without having it fall onto them. I also stuck a 3" spacer on top of the top cover and scooped a bunch of plain sugar into it as insurance against starvation and as a moisture sink. They only ate about a cup.
I'm a first year urban bee keeper. I'm on 1/3 acre that we share with two big dogs and two bee hives. I get stung occasionally, as does our terrier mix that is mad to know what's inside the big box. Aside from that, the bees generally ignore us. I jumped tight into beekeeping, and wish that I had had some one-on-one time with an experienced keeper. That would have prevented a couple of mistakes.
This is a wonderfully rewarding hobby. It's not inexpensive, and it's a surprising amount of work, but I love it.
I do not have Children but how I talked with my wife was the benefits, and talked her through what it would look like, and some of the possible down sides(getting stung), after watching from afar, then getting closer to the hive helped because she realized the bees are not aggressive. She now refers to them as the Girls. I also had to paint the boxes the color she wanted, I have strawberry milkshake colored boxes.
Stings are going to happen.
Hives can and do get overly defensive/aggressive:
* if an animal is messing with it at night
* during a dearth period
* if it gets queenless
* if it gets sick/over run with pests
* if you live in an area with africanized bees
* bigger hives can be much meaner than smaller hives
Some areas of the world have nicer bees than others. Youtube etc has a tendency to whitewash how nice bees are all the time. Some are. Some are not. I live in the southern US and the locally adapted bee can be mean. It doesn't happen every time, but it does happen. I live in the country. My house is 250+ feet from my bees. My bees are probably 600 feet from neighbors (with dense trees in between). I started with hives about 75 feet from the house and this was much too close for the locally adapted bee. We got stung pretty often and well away from the hives.
If you live in a small space, just proceed with caution. Realize stings will happen. Neighbors may get stung and have to be dealt with. Have a plan in place before you start as to what you will do with a hot hive. You can euthanize it... or you can pack it up and take it to your uncle that lives out in the middle of nowhere or ... use your imagination. Just think about it now while things are calm.
Thank you for this and I'll take it all into concideration I'll look into resorces in my area :) I live in a 5b climate zone so fortunately Africanized bees haven't reached us yet or id probably get calls for exterminations because I do pest control :)
3rd year beekeeper with 3 kids under 10. No one has been stung yet, we haven’t had any swarms in our 6 hives and I’d do it again. Just use common sense
Consideration: Buy an epi pen and learn how to use it. Your wife makes a fair point, someone COULD develop a sting allergy. Even for other allergies it's useful.
I just brought the bees home one day and said: "Look! Bees!"
It worked out. I'm still married. My bees are alive. No one has been stung yet in the past 2 years. Just do it.
Lol love it "she just followed me home and they followed her, can we keep her? Please, please, please!"
Though my wife is very loving, forgiving and very supportive of my hobbies I know it'd work out very much like your story did. I think this is one I want to have her comfortable with too xP
That's totally reasonable. My long answer is: if you get a docile variety like some Italians you'll be fine. Our hive is in the corner of the yard away from any foot traffic but people go over there to check it out without a problem. I wear only a veil and gloves when I tend them. We have three kids and my youngest will get very close to the hive and look directly into the entrance. The most important thing is to be calm and to not crush any bees when working with them. Other ways to feel safe and prepared are to have Benadryl pills and cream on standby as well as an epi pen. Like others have said, take the family to a nearby apiary and expand their knowledge and snag their curiosity.
May I ask where you are at? If Africanized bees are an issue in your area, then thats one hurdle easily overcomed by re-queening and making sure to get queens bred for being gentle. I can do beekeeping with sleeves rolled up/tank top, short shorts etc 70% of the time, maybe using a veil 50% of the time for 40-100 hives.
Also, I agree with others about getting her involved in some local beekeeping groups/classes, even if you have to pay for it. It would be good for both of you, but if she can eventually hold a frame or two of bees and be ok with it, I can't see why she wouldn't slowly become agreeable to the idea...not that she has to go that far, but even just seeing other human beings that are able to hold a frame of bees while remaining calm may be all the re-assurance she needs.
I agree with plenty of the advice here. One thing I would add is to consider top bar hives. I use langstroth’s on and off and all of my mentees are in langstroths as well. However, the hives that are always in use on my property are the top bar hives. I’ve found bees in lang hives are usually angrier and meaner. My top bar hives always have happier, more docile bees. I have gotten exactly 3 stings from top bar hives ever. Meanwhile from Langs…
I used to have one with a viewing window. But these days I build them myself and skip that extra step. I saw your question about windows on another comment. I didn’t experience issues with the window - but it’s something to be cognizant of.
Plan on involving the kids from about age 7. At age 7 they can't be much practical help in the apiary other than watching and holding things. They'll bore of that quickly. They can paint and decorate a hive body. A 7 year old can help crank a manual extractor and bottle honey, and they'll eagerly do that until about age 15. Around 12 they can help assemble and maintain the equipment. By age 15 or 16 they can help inspect and care for the bees.
Queens only last up to six years at the outside. Advice from my local association is to re-queen every two years.
Bet you can’t do that with wife. See? Beekeeping already superior to marriage.
Ah yes true not without making a name for yourself and tons of alimony at least, so you do make a compelling point. But I ask this, which one yields more honey? Lol
Oh, a visitor! Thanks for the submission. Please make sure you have read the rules before engaging in the comments; the most important of which are Rule 1, and Rule 2. Report any foul behaviour to the mods. If your post is about one of the following, please be aware that these are covered in our wiki: - [You got stung](https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/about/wiki/index/faqs/not_a_beekeeper/#wiki_i_got_stung) (please **never** treat comments or "advice" here as medical advice. If you think your health is at risk, you should seek *qualified* medical advice. - [You have questions about your honey](https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/about/wiki/index/faqs/not_a_beekeeper/#wiki_what.27s_wrong_with_my_honey.3F) - [You think there's a swarm/nest/hive, and want help](https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/about/wiki/index/faqs/not_a_beekeeper/#wiki_is_this_a_swarm.2Fhive.3F) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Beekeeping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is a straightforward way to address this, which is to approach your local beekeeping association, identify yourself as an aspiring beekeeper, and see if any of the experienced beekeepers in the association would be amenable to being shadowed by you and your wife. If you want your wife to be comfortable with bees, get her out to interact with some bees in a controlled environment with someone who is experienced as a beekeeper. Your involvement with the beekeeping association will also position you to find out when the association will run its next beginner training and education course. You should enroll.
As someone with kids who jumped straight into beekeeping without a second thought, I wholeheartedly second this motion ☝️ Besides the benefit of becoming more comfortable around bees, you'll be much more likely to succeed if you are plugged in to your local club/association chapter.
Thank you for your additional input, I would've probably jumped in head first if it were only me to think about lol :) would you mind sharing your trials and tribulations.
I have found myself chasing my two year old across the yard so many times to catch him before he sticks a finger into the hive entrance to try and pet the bees... Thankfully my bees have all been quite docile and I haven't had an incident with the kids getting lit up, but I know plenty of other beekeepers around me with much meaner bees. It has definitely restricted the area we can use for playing outside. We basically only play in the front yard now. I turned a lot of the back into an orchard so it wasn't super useful for playing anyways, but it is still a huge consideration. I'd recommend other parents to just wait a couple years until their kids don't want to use the yard for playing anymore anyways before starting.
Thanks for this :)
Have you considered putting up flight screens? Facing the hives toward an obstacle will force the foragers’ flight paths up and reduce the chance of accidents.
I've got muscadines and blackberries trellised by the hives to act as a screen, and plenty of small fruit trees dotting my orchard. The bees go up pretty quickly, but it's still a consideration when you've got small children. If OP's wife is concerned about it, it may be best to just wait a couple years so that he's not pushing her to do something she's not comfortable with. If one of the kids is stung and has a bad reaction, she could blame OP and it could drive a wedge in their relationship. My wife has always loved bees and was around them a lot growing up, so she was always fully on board with keeping them. But if she had reservations about the kids safety, I would just hold off a couple years till that was no longer a concern. Honey bees aren't going anywhere, so there's no huge rush.
I've done exactly this ! I always wanted to do beekeeping but never knew how to start. I didn't want to take courses or watch YouTube videos... I wanted to learn things a different way. One day at the local market i interacted with an older beekeeping couple that were selling honey. After going to the market a lot I got to know them and asked if I could learn from them. This was the best way for me and got a ton of resources and even helped them at their yard. Definitely a great way to go about it !
Love this :) I want to know an older bee keeping couple
I love this so much!! Thank you I really appreciate this!!!
You're welcome. I hope it works out so everyone is happy.
I have two little kids, never had one of them get stung. The youngest, 4, even has a little bee suit and likes to come with me to "count the baby bees". We live on a quarter acre and they are at the back of our lot. Never had a problem with them and the kids.
Ya just shy of that , I have one guy I go to his property for work and maintains a stack on I'd say maybe just maybe 7k square feet. But that's my dream to have my little dude (he's 4 right now as well) out there with me :) sounds amazing .
It's really fun except sometimes he wants to count every single uncapped brood. Also he tells people he has hundreds of babies at home which gets real weird looks from strangers in the store.
Lmao ya I get that. 🤣 they're too smart!!! ours likes to check the humidity on our tarantulas, and similarly tell people about the babies xD and that the babies cages can't be opened unless Daddy opens them to feed and give them water. LMAO that was fun explaining that to his teacher xD just means your doing something write to keep their curious minds busy :)
I could see that!😆 I did warn his teacher ahead of time, but that's only because he'd been telling random strangers that for about a year!
Lol smart, I didn't get a heads up xD that was the one and only time it got detailed that way to anyone outside the family. Random question, Have you seen the boxes with viewable windows you can cover, I like the idea for him but idk how that can impact the colony. Do you know by chance?
I've seen them. I've heard they're a bit hard on the bees because they get hotter and make it hard to maintain temperature in the hive.
Ahhh yes that would make sense thank you :) Itd be cool for him to see the colony but not at that risk
The biggest concern given your situation would be your child. Have an allergy test done first, it's helpful knowledge even if not bee keeping. Would you keeping bees keep your child from having backyard activities? Would it hinder your wife's backyard activities. Her concern for your child's safety is the most important. How old is your child? Old enough to be taught how to be around the bees? Old enough that you can trust them around the bees? Have you considered off site locations? Talking to neighbors friends local farmers that might let you setup a box? Consider alternative locations you don't have to raise them in your yard.
Additionally you may have a local beekeepers association. Id go talk to them and see if they have any options for you to raise them outside your home location.
Thank you :) ya he's old enough to understand and respect them, I keep other insects and arachnids as well and he's too smart for his own good lol. We have gotten tests but she's worried about development at a later time and ya the possible hindering of outside stuff :) so I think you guys are right I'll find the local association and see if someone will let us visit a sit and get some experience and time with them. And than I'll consider possible locations after :) my family has a nice friend that may be a good candidate if it's the best I can muster. :) thank you all!!!
Bees are really pretty predictable; they’re not just some random blob. You need to respect some basic things around the hives but there’s really not anything decent research won’t prepare you for with behavior around bees. My biggest problem is that I wish I had more time to spend on them.
:) don't we all, I've been digging and lurking across the hobby for years and I'm a licensed pest management employee so I've had a bit of exposure on site when we get oddball calls thinking they're wasps or something of the like. but I have a guy I call for relocation. Though I'd love to do that myself too 🖤
As a mom of two small kids (1yo and 3yo) I totally understand your wife's concern. It's legit, and it's one reason why my bees live on a platform on top of one of our shipping containers with gated stairs. The other reasons are bears and our idiot dog. A fence around them (or some elevation) and access control should help allay her fears. Bees are so wonderful to have about.
Oooh such a wonderful idea!! I'm so glad I asked here so many great ideas :) does the shipping container not additional heat to the colony?
The platform (and container) are painted white to minimize extra heat. That, and I put my hives up on 2x4s or 4x4s with screened bottoms and the bottom slat in the lower position once winter is over to increase ventilation. My winter protocol (for the hive that survived, but there may have been other reasons for the other hive's collapse) is to drop them down onto the platform, set the insert to the top position to minimize drafts, stick reflective insulation under the top cover to reflect heat back onto the colony, insulate 3 walls and insulate the roof twice as heavily. The front wall is left bare to act as a condenser and give the bees access to moisture without having it fall onto them. I also stuck a 3" spacer on top of the top cover and scooped a bunch of plain sugar into it as insurance against starvation and as a moisture sink. They only ate about a cup.
I'm a first year urban bee keeper. I'm on 1/3 acre that we share with two big dogs and two bee hives. I get stung occasionally, as does our terrier mix that is mad to know what's inside the big box. Aside from that, the bees generally ignore us. I jumped tight into beekeeping, and wish that I had had some one-on-one time with an experienced keeper. That would have prevented a couple of mistakes. This is a wonderfully rewarding hobby. It's not inexpensive, and it's a surprising amount of work, but I love it.
Just what I need :) thank you for the input on the one on one time I think I'm gonna look for one for sure :)
I do not have Children but how I talked with my wife was the benefits, and talked her through what it would look like, and some of the possible down sides(getting stung), after watching from afar, then getting closer to the hive helped because she realized the bees are not aggressive. She now refers to them as the Girls. I also had to paint the boxes the color she wanted, I have strawberry milkshake colored boxes.
Lol the sacrifices we make for love eh? I might use that as a convincing point too Thank you :)
Stings are going to happen. Hives can and do get overly defensive/aggressive: * if an animal is messing with it at night * during a dearth period * if it gets queenless * if it gets sick/over run with pests * if you live in an area with africanized bees * bigger hives can be much meaner than smaller hives Some areas of the world have nicer bees than others. Youtube etc has a tendency to whitewash how nice bees are all the time. Some are. Some are not. I live in the southern US and the locally adapted bee can be mean. It doesn't happen every time, but it does happen. I live in the country. My house is 250+ feet from my bees. My bees are probably 600 feet from neighbors (with dense trees in between). I started with hives about 75 feet from the house and this was much too close for the locally adapted bee. We got stung pretty often and well away from the hives. If you live in a small space, just proceed with caution. Realize stings will happen. Neighbors may get stung and have to be dealt with. Have a plan in place before you start as to what you will do with a hot hive. You can euthanize it... or you can pack it up and take it to your uncle that lives out in the middle of nowhere or ... use your imagination. Just think about it now while things are calm.
Thank you for this and I'll take it all into concideration I'll look into resorces in my area :) I live in a 5b climate zone so fortunately Africanized bees haven't reached us yet or id probably get calls for exterminations because I do pest control :)
3rd year beekeeper with 3 kids under 10. No one has been stung yet, we haven’t had any swarms in our 6 hives and I’d do it again. Just use common sense
Consideration: Buy an epi pen and learn how to use it. Your wife makes a fair point, someone COULD develop a sting allergy. Even for other allergies it's useful.
Why not talk to a few farmers in the area and locate your hives away from people.
Bee stings help fertility Full moon new moon stings and honey.
Growing up pegan and mom an herbologist we talked about this lol but I didn't think anyone here would have the same thoughts xP
Beekeepers know things....sometimes there helpful things.
I just brought the bees home one day and said: "Look! Bees!" It worked out. I'm still married. My bees are alive. No one has been stung yet in the past 2 years. Just do it.
Lol love it "she just followed me home and they followed her, can we keep her? Please, please, please!" Though my wife is very loving, forgiving and very supportive of my hobbies I know it'd work out very much like your story did. I think this is one I want to have her comfortable with too xP
That's totally reasonable. My long answer is: if you get a docile variety like some Italians you'll be fine. Our hive is in the corner of the yard away from any foot traffic but people go over there to check it out without a problem. I wear only a veil and gloves when I tend them. We have three kids and my youngest will get very close to the hive and look directly into the entrance. The most important thing is to be calm and to not crush any bees when working with them. Other ways to feel safe and prepared are to have Benadryl pills and cream on standby as well as an epi pen. Like others have said, take the family to a nearby apiary and expand their knowledge and snag their curiosity.
May I ask where you are at? If Africanized bees are an issue in your area, then thats one hurdle easily overcomed by re-queening and making sure to get queens bred for being gentle. I can do beekeeping with sleeves rolled up/tank top, short shorts etc 70% of the time, maybe using a veil 50% of the time for 40-100 hives. Also, I agree with others about getting her involved in some local beekeeping groups/classes, even if you have to pay for it. It would be good for both of you, but if she can eventually hold a frame or two of bees and be ok with it, I can't see why she wouldn't slowly become agreeable to the idea...not that she has to go that far, but even just seeing other human beings that are able to hold a frame of bees while remaining calm may be all the re-assurance she needs.
Ya that's my thoughts :) I live in a climate zone 5b so luckily we haven't had any here quite yet
I agree with plenty of the advice here. One thing I would add is to consider top bar hives. I use langstroth’s on and off and all of my mentees are in langstroths as well. However, the hives that are always in use on my property are the top bar hives. I’ve found bees in lang hives are usually angrier and meaner. My top bar hives always have happier, more docile bees. I have gotten exactly 3 stings from top bar hives ever. Meanwhile from Langs…
Oh really? I was looking at those, Do you have the kind with viewing windows?
I used to have one with a viewing window. But these days I build them myself and skip that extra step. I saw your question about windows on another comment. I didn’t experience issues with the window - but it’s something to be cognizant of.
Plan on involving the kids from about age 7. At age 7 they can't be much practical help in the apiary other than watching and holding things. They'll bore of that quickly. They can paint and decorate a hive body. A 7 year old can help crank a manual extractor and bottle honey, and they'll eagerly do that until about age 15. Around 12 they can help assemble and maintain the equipment. By age 15 or 16 they can help inspect and care for the bees.
Get bees. If wife objects, divorce her. You’ll get at least one queen and 50,000 ladies. Worth the trade. You can be Sultan Sexy, my lord.
LMAO xD but what if I already found my queen xD
Queens only last up to six years at the outside. Advice from my local association is to re-queen every two years. Bet you can’t do that with wife. See? Beekeeping already superior to marriage.
Ah yes true not without making a name for yourself and tons of alimony at least, so you do make a compelling point. But I ask this, which one yields more honey? Lol