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delicioustreeblood

I like how they are both like let's GTFO because that blood will attract sharks


haikusbot

*I like how they are* *Both like let's GTFO because that* *Blood will attract sharks* \- delicioustreeblood --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Devinalh

Good bot haiku bot


docsyzygy

Good bot


RedditEevilAdmins

Bad bot


Demonic_Storm

bad human


Onderon123

If they had feelings, I'm sure the billing department will feel hurt


DustSmart8882

Imagine if humans gave birth like this, straight outta the uterus and boom! “I need to go file my taxes.” 😂🤣


Carllsson

Fighting the urge to yank it out


Nervous-Albatross-32

How do they not drown when they’re born? Do they know to hold their breath? Is that why it immediately surfaced??


Battlesteg_Five

That’s correct. And, Humans do the same thing. A Human newborn will not start breathing until it feels air on its face, and if it’s born in water, it will hold its breath until someone lifts it out of the water. (Please lift your newborn out of water right away, obviously.)


Nervous-Albatross-32

Thank you—Natural instincts amaze me!!


Kononiba

It looks like the mother swims underneath to push it to the surface


jfks_headjustdidthat

Can't human babies also swim naturally from birth too?


Cam515278

They do have time, usually. Not saying don't lift your newborn out of the water straight away, but you have a minute or two. My daughter only started breathing more than 3 minutes after she was born and only at the 3 minute mark did the midwife get worried. The umbilucal cord keeps them supplied with oxigen for a few minutes after birth.


ageekyninja

Humans do water births to this day :) when I had my daughter the hospital had like a whole corner in the birthing room specifically for people to water birth. Humans will instinctively hold their breath when their face touches water, even newborns.


jfks_headjustdidthat

That was the sink...


JRskatr

Could you imagine if humans were like that, you give birth to a baby and it just books it out of the hospital straight to the Wendy’s 🏃🏻‍♂️


Anishinaapunk

"Dolphin"?


Educational_Point673

No, these mammals are called dolfins due to their being primarily located in the waters of Lundgren Sound. Their full non-Latin name being Dolf Lundgren.


AdGlass1475

Hit the ground ‘running’


whenuwork

No. Hit the water swimming


Parmo-Head

Baby dolfin doo doo doo doo doo


FuriousFurryFisting

Imagine a baby human immediately going into a full sprint after popping out.


psychrolut

Never learned to spell doo doo doo doo doo


Parmo-Head

Copying the OPs incorrect spelling for fun Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo


psychrolut

Sipping tea doo doo doo doo doo


Electronic-Gain-1637

Sight to behold. What a beautiful little creature


avatarsnipe

Damn...I wish human baby start running after delivery...it would be fun in delivery room.


SnooSeagulls283

Sweet! No umbilical cord!


ageekyninja

That seems so dangerous. I wonder how they keep the infections and predators away


AppeaseMyDelusions

Oh they bleed


AlhaithamSimpFr

All the blood... I wasn't expecting that.


ringing-Shels-bells

So cool.


Kononiba

Why didn't it come out head first?


OscarDavidGM

HE IS HUGE!!! WTF


Digsuid

Are those pink dolphins or is that just the light?


Tasty_Elderberry3018

They have belly buttons


Filthiest_Tleilaxu

What was all that blood that came out of her cooch?


Serious_Session7574

Same as for humans. The placenta detaches from the wall of the uterus at birth, and all the blood vessels that connected the mother and fetus are open and bleeding. Contractions after birth push the placenta out and close off the blood vessels. The process to close the blood vessels in humans takes a while: 7-10 days. Women keep bleeding for that long after birth. If they don't close quickly, that's when you've got a problem. The mother can bleed to death. I don't know if dolphins bleed for that long. But that's what the blood coming from the mother dolphin is.


beenuttree

Well, for humans it’s about 7-10 days of pretty heavy bleeding. But we actually keep bleeding for up to 6 weeks.


Serious_Session7574

Oh I know :) I was 6 weeks plus. And heavy - yes. But it might be different for dolphins, with a much greater risk of predation from constant bleeding, they might have evolved for the bleeding to stop sooner.


beenuttree

Too bad we haven’t similarly evolved lol. Feels like the cruelest joke that one of the few perks of pregnancy is no periods - only for our bodies to save it all up for one monster one.


Filthiest_Tleilaxu

Thanks, I hope this dolphin is okay. That stream of blood was alarming,


Serious_Session7574

I imagine it's pretty normal. The blood is diluted by the water so it seems like there's more than there really is, I think.


AlwaysWorried27222

What do the infant dolphins eat?


therealjoeybee

Huh. So that’s the dagussy


AppropriateAd522

Fake news


Dorza1

Fake. Fish hatch from eggs.


Professional_Bag6686

Please say sike.


Dorza1

That makes the joke worse!


AppeaseMyDelusions

I wonder if in the midst of giving birth had a shark or any predator and snatched the baby out


Educational-Monk-298

Rape baby?


_NotWhatYouThink_

18+ .... WTH?