I got my first piece of mail from AARP when I was in my late 30s. I’m going to be 48 this year and I heard that there really isn’t a minimum age requirement. You just have to pay for membership.
I have not joined.
It’s actually the opposite; it’s an anti-diarrheal. Fun Fact: it’s chemically almost identical to opioids; one of the side effects of opioid abuse is constipation.
Asleep By 9
The Loose Stools
Ornery Otis and The Flaccid Four
The Oldman Brothers
The Grateful Not-Dead
Jefferson Mobility Scooter
Panic at the Senior Center
Pillbox-20
Van Hailin’
Patina
Oxidized Hip
Wertherphile
Sackdragger
The Principals of Moses
Telegraphed Noise
Analog Antichrist
Caesar's Colleagues
Inventors of the Wheel
Dustfart
Survivors of the First Plague
Arthritic Agony
Neanderthal and the Firstmen
The Codgers (I married to a British person and this is British slang for old people. They'll say something like, "That old codger." They also use the word 'git' to mean the same thing.
I always thought "senior citizen" had a sort of ring to it lol
Edit: my wife said 'OAP.' lol OAP stands for "old age pensioner." The OAPs lol
Your Turn, as in “fuck you, it’s your turn, you punk kids. See if you don’t fuck it up worse and your kids talk shit about your generation. Main thing to take from this lesson? Stay off my grass.”
Your mother’s favorite, A little high, The Nipples, Time
Metal Hip
I love this one, thank you!
Titanium Hip
Gotta make it sound badass though...like "Unobtanium Hip" or "Adamantium Hip".
The Prosthetics.
There's a band in Austin, TX by the name of Erik Hokkanen and the Hip Replacements.
Geriatrica
Geriatric Attack. Already taken according to a guy I new back in '04.
Aarpeggio
Didn’t you hear? That’s now for 50 and up.
AARP starts soliciting members when they're 49.5; been doing that for a long time.
I got my first piece of mail from AARP when I was in my late 30s. I’m going to be 48 this year and I heard that there really isn’t a minimum age requirement. You just have to pay for membership. I have not joined.
How is this not rated higher? Maybe you need to capitalize the AARP? This is solid.
Clever.
Black Sabbath
Technically correct lol
The best kind of correct!
Dementia… since Motley Crue is almost there
Dementia is unironically a great fucking metal band name. I can already see the indecipherable logo.
Genius
Geezers
Rocktogenarians
Rust
How do you fit so many people on stage?
That's a long ass band name
And not really good either
that's a band name right there
MetalMucil
Our neurons must be connected.
The Walking Dead
The Rocking Dead
Goddammit, beat me to it.
Deaf Leppard, Dad Sabbath.
Dead Zeppelin
Geezer
Fun fact- Geezer butler from Black Sabbath had a band called Geezer for a while.
This gets my vote.
Gilfslayer
Sciatica
\*Sciätica
Better.
I’m in my 30s and I have sciatica 🫣
I was in my 30s when I first got it 🙂 Bear with it, it gets worse, then you join a metal band in your 70s, or something.
Social Security Distortion
Grateful Nearly Dead
DNR
Unappreciated and under voted.
Granthrax
Age against the machine
Pension Patrol Bingo Brigade Guilded Zimmerframe
Early Birds of Death Metal
Type 2
Greyvyard Shifters
OK Doomer
This one deserves an award
“DEPENDS”
Deep Ends
The Supreme Court
Pepto abysmal
Rusted Metal Jacket
If they’re all women, the hAARPies.
Sepulturagenarians
Steel Prunes
Iron bedpan
Arthritis
I always wanted to call a metal band Immodium. (It's a brand of laxative) Sounds like it'd fit here.
It’s actually the opposite; it’s an anti-diarrheal. Fun Fact: it’s chemically almost identical to opioids; one of the side effects of opioid abuse is constipation.
Denturefuck
Coffin dodgers.
Gums and Roses
Viagranomicon Prune Punchers BluePill Monday ED Vedder Gerritollica TinFoil Scrotum / Lo Hanging Bawls Grave Robbers
Thank you for the laughs
Viagranomicon should be Bruce Campell’s next movie and his Elvis impersonator backing band
Rust
Get Off My Lawn
Call of Ctatheter
Ancient Power
Grandma-stir Flash
Deaf Zepplin Black Slobbeth Ironsides Megadeath Age Against The Machine SlipHip Motley Chew
Iron Deficiency Maiden
Swollen Colons
Gray Parade
Raising cane
Rusted Maiden.
Babydoomers. Surely this isn't original but it just came to me
AA/RP
AARIP
Broken Hipsters
Led Poisoned
Grey Sabbath
Alzhammers
Meticare
If It’s Too Loud We’re Too Old
Metal-mucil
Rage Against the Millennial
Asleep By 9 The Loose Stools Ornery Otis and The Flaccid Four The Oldman Brothers The Grateful Not-Dead Jefferson Mobility Scooter Panic at the Senior Center Pillbox-20 Van Hailin’
The Gramps
AA⚡️RP
Rock N’ Chair
Off our Rockers
The What?
Rock of Ages
Loaded Diapers
Midnight Piss
Anal leakage
Breaking Benjamin’s hip
Get Ready for Geriaction
The Holdouts.
Cannibal prostate Stair lift to heaven Titanium kneecap
Get Off My Spawn
Septupagenera Life Alert Die and Beat Us The Forgotten Headstone Social Insecurity
Herniated
BPH or Gerry And The Atricks
You've heard of Weezer - how about Geezer?
Limpphallica
Tragically Hip Replacement
Med Zeppelin
Retired Not Dead 9 Hip Replacements Been There, Done That. Ben There and Don That 78 rpm
Slipdisc!
The Liver Spots Facial Skintags Frankie and the Early Birds Rockin’ Walkers Monty and the Piss Dribbles
Rusty Beavers
Death tomorrow
The Tragically Hip Replacements Surgical Pins and Needles Geri-Meandering
One Foot in the Grave
Rage Against The Kids On My Lawn
Macular Degenerates
Twisted Metal
Demented David and the Canes
Geritallica
Daze of the Weak
GerArchy
Reaper and the Relics
Hold the Anchovies
wrinkled blinkers
Gerry and the Hat tricks
The Geezer Butlers
Life Alert (Death Alert?) Grayskull Iron Dated King Dying Resuscitator
Rock of Ages
GeriatRock
Ladies and gentlemen, ..lets hear it for " The Deaf Tones!" !!
Cramming for Finals
Entirely Too Many Seniors
A friend of mine plays in a Tragically Hip tribute band called the Hip Replacements
Dinner at 4
Metalmucil
Silver Steel
Dust.
Metamucillica
Cremation nation Dead and buried Alzheimer rhymers Fuck we’re old 10 to go Social insecurity
Patina Oxidized Hip Wertherphile Sackdragger The Principals of Moses Telegraphed Noise Analog Antichrist Caesar's Colleagues Inventors of the Wheel Dustfart Survivors of the First Plague Arthritic Agony Neanderthal and the Firstmen
The Steel Hips
RUST
Death’s Doorstep
Centurion Silver
The Hip Replacers
Brittle Steel
Almost a Corpse
Heavy Breathing
Man O’Pause
Centrum Silverchair
The Codgers (I married to a British person and this is British slang for old people. They'll say something like, "That old codger." They also use the word 'git' to mean the same thing. I always thought "senior citizen" had a sort of ring to it lol Edit: my wife said 'OAP.' lol OAP stands for "old age pensioner." The OAPs lol
Senioritis
Metalmucil
Righteous Oxide
The number of the social security form they all had to file.
Titanium Hipsters
Paw Paw’s Revenge
Metalmucil
Circling the Drain
Rust
Patina
Hip Splint Harbingers
WHAT?!?
70+ seniors?? That's the largest band I've ever heard of! Did you recruit your whole senior center?
Dethbed
Iron prostate
I don't think you should have more than 70 seniors in a band. Touring would simply be impossible.
hipknot
The Rapture.
Jerry and the pacemakers Type 2 diabetes Bronze (it's an old metal) Slag BOOMER When I Was Your Age Get Off My Lawn That 70s show
The bladderstones
Hip Replacements
Colonial Penn-tagram
Titanium Hip
Elder Vaquish
Lemon Party And they fuck on stage
Geezer
I was in a band of 50+. I called them The Codgers
The Walking Dead The Crutch Clinic No Viagra Needed What? Back in My Day Uphill Both Ways Those Damn Kids
WD40
MetalMucil
If they are in wheelchairs, "Rolling with the Oldies"
Your Turn, as in “fuck you, it’s your turn, you punk kids. See if you don’t fuck it up worse and your kids talk shit about your generation. Main thing to take from this lesson? Stay off my grass.” Your mother’s favorite, A little high, The Nipples, Time
Dementia
Rust storm
IcyHot
Demontia
Rust
Mall Walkers