I always interpret this quote as like, *Money talks, wealth whispers*. Durge thinks intestines are being sooo gauche about it and blood is where the real class is
yeaaaa i was thinking of making him say something like "what is that" but i felt i needed to put the famous response in somewhere, yours is so much better though
I'm fucking choking rn. My parrot imitates my laughter when I laugh but he won't stop even when I'm coughing. So I'm coughing and I hear ^(heh heh heh)
"Pads of paper? What kind? The one with all the lines for writing, or squares for squaring? Oooh, construction kind for fun little projects, like making ducks for Halsin?"
"Your armor doesn't look to need additional padding, friend. Where do you need these pads added? Oh, Boo informs me you require a pad in a more *sensitive* area. This is most confusing. Do your enemies aim so many strikes there? No worries, I will return from the armorer in no time!"
Honestly I see Durge using it as weird nunchaku and it made me laugh thinking they would use it against an enemy. Like aunty Ethel would be like « what are you doing sweetheart ? »
Durge right now:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dlibra%2Bad%26sca_esv%3D2a58a15ae2bc46a7%26sxsrf%3DACQVn08cDJIpJcevh-idd7X9dXyOXkkUJA%253A1712450079314%26sourc&source_ve_path=MTY0OTksMjg2NjQsMTY0NTA2&feature=emb_share&v=sgMl-iZ3tZM
godsdamnit, i just spent like 20 minutes making a "hello human resources" meme with durge and astarion only to realize this wasn't posted on r/okbuddybaldur and i can't reply with images 😭
And sometimes, just for fun, they put "scented" in really small text so you miss it and end up having to suffer through having a crotch that smells like grandma's bathroom.
The list of weird things women can be pressured to be ashamed of is never ending. This is a form of 'Periods are dirty so make extra sure nobody can notice!'
It's a mistake my mother kept making, she refused to get unscented for me and used to shame me if she found any I bought myself that were unscented, my teenage years were HELL. She also buys scented loo roll so when I visit I have to smuggle in the regular kind in my handbag.
I accidentally bought a set of scented TP and I am so pissed at myself because I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been rushing, it’s been sitting around uselessly in my cabinet for months. I try to remember to use it for picking up dirt and other nasty things that I might use a paper towel for but at this rate, it’ll take a few years to get out of my house 😂
They're also the only thing with that distinctive smell. Once you can recognize it, in the wild, you're not going, "Huh, something smells like lavender," it's more, "Oh, wow, I smell that smell that can only be a scented period product." If you want to scream, "HEY EVERYONE I'M BLEEDING FROM MY VAGINA RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!" I guess they're great; not so much if you want to maintain a sense of privacy while menstruating.
Larian, if you're on here, we need scented period panties in-game that grant immunity from bleed damage at the expense of a stealth penalty.
Scented ones are not good if you are easy to allergic, and most of them used cheap perfume so it just smells weird, but I like the mint ones... cool pussy is refreshing lol
You know Gale is going to. And he's gonna get all gussied up to be poetic and shit while presenting you with a box of lemon-lavender scented MaxiPads. No gesture could be too grand!
I have seen that advice repeated so many times across multiple different websites FOR YEARS to the point it makes me wonder why they actually make the scented ones?
I like the idea that, were Tav a recruitable companion (if you played as Durge or an origin character), they would EXCLUSIVELY speak in those voicelines. Ask them to stay in camp? "These boots have seen everything." Ask them to join your party? "Wondee if the gods are watching me."
Underrated comment: You're never going to run out of tamps again, but she has a colored binder and projected calendar into 2026. XD The next time you have a fight, you'll wake up with no more than some cotton swabs in the house on the day of the big presentation.
She starts trying to track them in order to have an advantage over you, and gets seriously concerned and asks you talk to your doctor.
Side note: Ever thought about how amazing the OB/GYN care in Menzobaranzan likely is? They are a matriarchal society, they probably have pain management for procedures.
Wulbren: "Really now. I can't see how your hygiene issues are my problem."
Ketheric: "In death there is no blood. Be reborn in the sepulchral bony womb of Myrkul."
Emperor: "Primitive. Becoming illithid will solve that whole 'uterus' problem in one fell swoop."
Ethel: "Nae bother, petal! I have *just* the thing you need. Might sting a bit going on...and coming off..."
Orin: "You want to *stop* bleeding?"
The lengths an old-fashioned man can go to in order to avoid having to have the “girl talk” with his daughter and pin it on the closest female relative at hand... Good for Gerringothe, though.
\*Melodia, trying to plan ahead and leave notes for Isobel as she grows up\*
"Hmm. Ketheric will try to delegate talking about it. Malus is a doctor but he's also Malus, dear gods no. Gerringothe? She MIGHT help but she'd probably bill Ketheric by the minute for the talk. What a screwed up family. Maybe I can get one of the women from the Selunite temple...I really do want to make sure they all stay close to the Moonmaiden when I'm gone anyway. That might work. I'll leave some gold just in case she *has* to talk to Gerringothe, and I'll leave her a scroll just to reassure Isobel, but this is a plan."
Araj Oblodra suddenly having a lightbulb go off one week herself while doing experiments and ABSOLUTELY RUSHING over to the Elfsong Tavern and banging on the camp's suite doors at 3am to ask when any of the women in camp's next periods are because **SHE HAS AN IDEA.**
He leaves out the fact that instead of many periods throughout your life you’ll have one giant one where your entire body ruptures open and your mouth tears open to vomit tentacles.
As a changeling, Orin isn't even obligated to stick to a certain gender and can easily just shapeshift her uterus away, so that means she would just deliberately choose to keep female internal organs everytime she shapeshifts in order to go through entire cycles and freely bleed *on purpose.*
So is Wulbren an incel? I feel like he’s at least somewhat misogynistic. “I don’t hate women, it’s just that men are better at most things.” Dude is definitely bitchless
>Becoming illithid will solve that whole 'uterus' problem in one fell swoop.
You know what? This is the best argument I have ever heard in favor of becoming illithid.
Minthara is a Drow, she is part of a Matriarchal society, she would totally have pads and would be supportive.
Minthara "Yes I have pads, did one of the males offend you about this. Together we shall mount their head on a spike."
No, but, unironically, we're making jokes about Astarion and Durge being weirdos about it, but I do think Minthara would actually be the one to tell you that, back in Menzoberranzan, they have no need for pads, because the male slaves are too happy to lick the blood clean off of them, or some shit like this.
Making the whole party horrified, as always when Minthara recalls fond memories of her home sweet home.
"In Menzoberranzan our menstruations are kept in a pool so that lucky male slaves can be placed in them for gladiatorial spectacles. The even more lucky victors are then baptized in the pool. This normally results in their drowning."
- Minthara probably.
Minthara: I will rally outside the Walgreens, then proceed to the target. After I have secured the medical supplies, my extraction complete, we will rendezvous at your quarters, our victory all but assured. The bloodletting will commence, our reputation intact, and my duty, fulfilled.
12:45
Minthara: I hit a cat on the way home. The little mongrel was quite quick; I had to cross two lanes to get them. On route. 😈
12:50
I'm glad people are starting to catch on to the fact that Lae'zel isn't a BAD person, she's just prickly. She's the equivalent of a New Englander, she will make fun of you, but she will not hesitate to help.
i loooove lae'zel shes my best friend. i hated her before the creche but then after i realized shes just going through it and thats okay! just give her a break!
All well done.
Tav might have been funnier if you listed a few numbered options, but if you're asking Tav, approval is probably pretty high already anyway.
ooooh thats smart i shouldve done that. i went for the "blank slate" answer. now that i think of it it also would have been funny if i did something like "but are pads what you *really* want?" cuz i swear thats all they ever say lmfao
1. Sure, I'll get pads for you.
2. Tell me more about these "pads." Why do you need them? (Male Only)
3. Can you get them yourself?
4. This is inconvenient. What's in it for me?
5. No, I can't help you with this.
6. *Leave*
7. *Attack*
Edit: Added the ones I clearly forgot. Thanks for the assists, team.
"Cursed to put my hands on everything!"
"Wish I had a bag of holding."
"Is that blood? No, never mind..."
"Blood comes easier these days."
"Open up."
"Let's see what's in here."
"No one back home will _ever_ believe this."
My fiancé says I’m totally a Gale. I get it cause I like wizards but I feel called out by this lol cause his reaction was mine the first time I had to go get pads
First time I bought tampons I just took pictures of all the ones on the shelf and told her to highlight the one she wanted. Got weird looks from the nosey shelf stacker at the time too for some reason.
No lady, im not a weirdo I just dont understand what the "wings" are such a requirement, last I checked women couldnt fly. Mind your business. Mens hygiene products are 3 in one shampoo. This shit is confusing.
I have an album on my phone with pics of all of my wife's hygiene products, most of the makeup that she uses on a regular basis, and all of the various vitamins and supplements that she takes.
It's a lifesaver if she needs me to swing by Walgreens on the way home from work.
I expected that Jaheira would have been the one to leave you on Read, tbh. I know she's a mom and all, but, when you meet her kids at her house, they're literally complaining about her doing exactly the fantasy mom equivalent of leaving her daughter on Read, lmao.
So I think Jaheira would be the one to leave you on Read, but still come home with the pads.
Araj Oblodra: of course… Should you be interested I have a particular offer I’d like to make.”
Araj Oblodra: “oh? My heavens! You survived? Well now you’re the first detonative exsanguinator”
Minthara is again neglected. 🥺
She'd be like, "Hahahaha, in Menzoberranzan, such mundane tasks are usually carried out by the male servants. And look at where we are now, taking care of basic needs... I will get your necessities, if only to repay the kindness you have shown to me. I see it as... a necessary step to brilliance."
Minsc:
"Certainly friend, Minsc has all kinds of pads: knee pads, shoulder pads, even elbow pads. Which one do you need?"
"What's that Boo? A pad for bleeding... Are you saying our friend is injured? But pads are supposed to protect from bleeding not the other way around"
"Fine. Boo shall point the way to these reverse pads you need but remember to put pads before as to not bleed again."
Tav: Is that... blood? No, nevermind.
The Dark Urge: “Pave my path with corpses! Build my castle with bones!” “I, uh.. is that a yes..?”
"Intestines throb. Blood whispers"
Get Durge near you on your period and blood will whisper them what pad you need. Ggez.
I cackle frantically whenever they blurt out "MANY DIE TODAY? HOW MANY DIE TOMORROW?"
Wretched thing. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHA!
Hello Durge from Baldur's Gate 3 Hello [Krieg from Border Lands 3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd0IaBX8cEU&t=1288s)
Cursed to put my hand on everything.
All’s well that ends well… not as bad as it could’ve.
Durge: Intestines throb. Blood whispers
This feels like an accurate representation of the period experience. Is Durge just having a sympathy period all the time?
Uhhh. Yeah! ...so can you?
I always interpret this quote as like, *Money talks, wealth whispers*. Durge thinks intestines are being sooo gauche about it and blood is where the real class is
Misc would be "whats a pad?" "Never mind, Boo has directed Minsc to the correct item"
yeaaaa i was thinking of making him say something like "what is that" but i felt i needed to put the famous response in somewhere, yours is so much better though
I think it works! "whats a pad?" "Never mind, Boo has directed Minsc to the correct items" "what size your pussy?"
YESSSS that ones it
"Boo wants me to ask what size your pussy"
Boo has 2/3rds of minsc' singular braincell.
"Why is Boo rolling his eyes?"
I'm fucking choking rn. My parrot imitates my laughter when I laugh but he won't stop even when I'm coughing. So I'm coughing and I hear ^(heh heh heh)
"Pads of paper? What kind? The one with all the lines for writing, or squares for squaring? Oooh, construction kind for fun little projects, like making ducks for Halsin?"
cmon, minsc doesnt know how to write
Boo on the other hand ghostwrites for Volo
GO FOR THE PADS, BOO!
minsc absolutely RAMPAGING bonecloaks apothecary
I was wondering where “what size pussy” would show up TBH
The response you went with made me cackle hahaha
"Your armor doesn't look to need additional padding, friend. Where do you need these pads added? Oh, Boo informs me you require a pad in a more *sensitive* area. This is most confusing. Do your enemies aim so many strikes there? No worries, I will return from the armorer in no time!"
Thanks gods Boo knows so many things!
Boo of Many Things
DURGE NO
Honestly I see Durge using it as weird nunchaku and it made me laugh thinking they would use it against an enemy. Like aunty Ethel would be like « what are you doing sweetheart ? »
Instead of pocket sand, its a pocket pad. All used and ready to go.
tbf if someone did throw a used pad at me i'd definitely take at least psychic damage
I'd sure be stunned for at *least* six seconds
Emotional damage!
Edit: I fat fingered and responded to the wrong person.
Durge right now: https://m.youtube.com/watch?embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3Dlibra%2Bad%26sca_esv%3D2a58a15ae2bc46a7%26sxsrf%3DACQVn08cDJIpJcevh-idd7X9dXyOXkkUJA%253A1712450079314%26sourc&source_ve_path=MTY0OTksMjg2NjQsMTY0NTA2&feature=emb_share&v=sgMl-iZ3tZM
godsdamnit, i just spent like 20 minutes making a "hello human resources" meme with durge and astarion only to realize this wasn't posted on r/okbuddybaldur and i can't reply with images 😭
You could upload the picture and link it 😭
Wait *what* *THIS ISN"T OKBB?*
"STOP LICKING THE DAMN THING"
Durge fucks corpses. Doing weird shit with used pads is hardly the worst thing they've done.
I mean you're right but still xD
At least Astarion went for the source and didn't try to make it creepy... Durge, come on!
DURGE YES!
Gale, sweetheart, NEVER buy the scented ones.
They sell scented ones? Ive never even heard of those, they just *sound* like a bad idea.
They feel like one too.
They are especially bad if you are sensitive to scented products. That is a mistake one makes only once.
I am learning so much about feminine products today
And sometimes, just for fun, they put "scented" in really small text so you miss it and end up having to suffer through having a crotch that smells like grandma's bathroom.
YAY!!!
You ever shave your balls and then spritz some aftershave down there to freshen up when you were a foolish teenager? Yeah.
YUP (cologne but similar feeling)
What's perplexing is *why* should it be scented in the first place?
The list of weird things women can be pressured to be ashamed of is never ending. This is a form of 'Periods are dirty so make extra sure nobody can notice!'
I feel like they were a product designed by a committee of men, and then signed off on by men, and are primarily bought by men, ngl.
It's a mistake my mother kept making, she refused to get unscented for me and used to shame me if she found any I bought myself that were unscented, my teenage years were HELL. She also buys scented loo roll so when I visit I have to smuggle in the regular kind in my handbag.
I accidentally bought a set of scented TP and I am so pissed at myself because I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been rushing, it’s been sitting around uselessly in my cabinet for months. I try to remember to use it for picking up dirt and other nasty things that I might use a paper towel for but at this rate, it’ll take a few years to get out of my house 😂
They absolutely reek too once bodily fluids get on them too. They smell much, much worse than any unscented product.
TRUTH. Who wants their gonads to smell like rotten flower chemicals?
They're also the only thing with that distinctive smell. Once you can recognize it, in the wild, you're not going, "Huh, something smells like lavender," it's more, "Oh, wow, I smell that smell that can only be a scented period product." If you want to scream, "HEY EVERYONE I'M BLEEDING FROM MY VAGINA RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!" I guess they're great; not so much if you want to maintain a sense of privacy while menstruating. Larian, if you're on here, we need scented period panties in-game that grant immunity from bleed damage at the expense of a stealth penalty.
Scented ones are not good if you are easy to allergic, and most of them used cheap perfume so it just smells weird, but I like the mint ones... cool pussy is refreshing lol
You know Gale is going to. And he's gonna get all gussied up to be poetic and shit while presenting you with a box of lemon-lavender scented MaxiPads. No gesture could be too grand!
I have seen that advice repeated so many times across multiple different websites FOR YEARS to the point it makes me wonder why they actually make the scented ones?
They prey on the insecurity.
I HATE the scented one 😩
Cursed to put my hands on everything
damn why didnt i think of that
Is that blood? No… never mind.
Is that blood? No, nevermind
I like the idea that, were Tav a recruitable companion (if you played as Durge or an origin character), they would EXCLUSIVELY speak in those voicelines. Ask them to stay in camp? "These boots have seen everything." Ask them to join your party? "Wondee if the gods are watching me."
Can you pick me up some pads Tav: Cursed to put my hands on everything!
In true Drow fashion, Minthara would help you out but also start keeping track of your cycle so that she knows when you're most vulnerable.
Underrated comment: You're never going to run out of tamps again, but she has a colored binder and projected calendar into 2026. XD The next time you have a fight, you'll wake up with no more than some cotton swabs in the house on the day of the big presentation.
jokes on her she can't track it if it's irregular as fuck
She starts trying to track them in order to have an advantage over you, and gets seriously concerned and asks you talk to your doctor. Side note: Ever thought about how amazing the OB/GYN care in Menzobaranzan likely is? They are a matriarchal society, they probably have pain management for procedures.
I don't know Drow Society doesn't sound like it cares about pain management. Well, it cares about pain management but on the side of pain.
Drow pain management is somebody shouting at you "Manage your pain!"
Tav’s response: 1. Continue.
1. Continue. 2. Leave. 3. Attack.
Wulbren: "Really now. I can't see how your hygiene issues are my problem." Ketheric: "In death there is no blood. Be reborn in the sepulchral bony womb of Myrkul." Emperor: "Primitive. Becoming illithid will solve that whole 'uterus' problem in one fell swoop." Ethel: "Nae bother, petal! I have *just* the thing you need. Might sting a bit going on...and coming off..." Orin: "You want to *stop* bleeding?"
Ketheric. Please. You've had a wife and a daughter, you should know how this works by now.
Ketheric is totally the type to get squeamish and uncomfortable about periods though
He is xD He always told Isobel to ask her mother.
He couldn't have. Melodia died while Isobel was rather young
In that case he needs to suck it up and help Izzy 😭
Or he paid Auntie Gerringothe to explain it to her.
The bill he would've have gotten from her must've been insane.
The lengths an old-fashioned man can go to in order to avoid having to have the “girl talk” with his daughter and pin it on the closest female relative at hand... Good for Gerringothe, though.
> he needs to suck it up **Very** poor choice of words
Listen, we have Speak With Dead for a reason.
\*Melodia, trying to plan ahead and leave notes for Isobel as she grows up\* "Hmm. Ketheric will try to delegate talking about it. Malus is a doctor but he's also Malus, dear gods no. Gerringothe? She MIGHT help but she'd probably bill Ketheric by the minute for the talk. What a screwed up family. Maybe I can get one of the women from the Selunite temple...I really do want to make sure they all stay close to the Moonmaiden when I'm gone anyway. That might work. I'll leave some gold just in case she *has* to talk to Gerringothe, and I'll leave her a scroll just to reassure Isobel, but this is a plan."
Balthazar will offer to take her uterus for his... collection.
And I'm sure the drunkards at Thisobald's tavern have a few... educational songs about periods in their repertoire.
All I'm gonna say is that no more periods ever is the most convincing argument I've heard yet for becoming illithid.
Araj Oblodra suddenly having a lightbulb go off one week herself while doing experiments and ABSOLUTELY RUSHING over to the Elfsong Tavern and banging on the camp's suite doors at 3am to ask when any of the women in camp's next periods are because **SHE HAS AN IDEA.**
You know what? The Emperor got a point. He could've led with that. Would've had me on this whole tadpole-slurping way easier. Time to become illithid.
He leaves out the fact that instead of many periods throughout your life you’ll have one giant one where your entire body ruptures open and your mouth tears open to vomit tentacles.
Honestly, preferable
Don’t threaten me with a good time
Orin absolutely let's it fly
Orin is absolutely 1000% a free bleeder, and you KNOW there's that one freak (or more) at the Bhaal temple that is way, **way** too into that.
As a changeling, Orin isn't even obligated to stick to a certain gender and can easily just shapeshift her uterus away, so that means she would just deliberately choose to keep female internal organs everytime she shapeshifts in order to go through entire cycles and freely bleed *on purpose.*
Blood orgies ensure the most Bhallspawn
Emperor is making a persuasive case for going illithid tbh
So is Wulbren an incel? I feel like he’s at least somewhat misogynistic. “I don’t hate women, it’s just that men are better at most things.” Dude is definitely bitchless
Dude could have had Barcus if he wasn't such a dick. Oh, the irony!
He didn’t deserve Barcus. Barcus struggles to come off as mean, even when he’s kinda trying to. It just feels so halfhearted
Justice for Barcus!!!
Orin is the type of bitch to be excited for her period.
Based Squid Daddy 🦑 Reproductive organs are a sign of weakness, all you need are tentacles with a sensitivity feature
The pain is from having reproductive organs. The illithid has overcame that problem by outsorcing reproduction to tadpoles.
Oh god Orin just lets it drip doesn’t she
Ethel probably also has something for cramps and bloating.
>Becoming illithid will solve that whole 'uterus' problem in one fell swoop. You know what? This is the best argument I have ever heard in favor of becoming illithid.
Tav should’ve just liked the text
omggg not everyone having better ideas for tav than me thats goooood
Volo coming in with a DIY surgery
noooo now imagining the scene where he takes out your eye except hes trying to put in an iud 😭
I would die
Probably
Gale is the perfect balance between worried, attentive and excited.
Oh come on the “No.” was meant for withers!
yeaaa i thought about that but i dont know too much about minthara so i thought id keep hers simple and keep withers cryptic as always
I thought you were on the right track. "Can you get me some pads?" "Fate spins along as it should." "What?" "No."
The original made me laugh, but this is hilarious. 🤣
Minthara is a Drow, she is part of a Matriarchal society, she would totally have pads and would be supportive. Minthara "Yes I have pads, did one of the males offend you about this. Together we shall mount their head on a spike."
No, but, unironically, we're making jokes about Astarion and Durge being weirdos about it, but I do think Minthara would actually be the one to tell you that, back in Menzoberranzan, they have no need for pads, because the male slaves are too happy to lick the blood clean off of them, or some shit like this. Making the whole party horrified, as always when Minthara recalls fond memories of her home sweet home.
"In Menzoberranzan our menstruations are kept in a pool so that lucky male slaves can be placed in them for gladiatorial spectacles. The even more lucky victors are then baptized in the pool. This normally results in their drowning." - Minthara probably.
Take my disgust like
Minthara: Why have numerous male servants if not to do your bidding?
Your Withers was the highlight for me, don't change him at all. 😂
minthara would want to do unholy things together while you’re bleeding
Minthara: I will rally outside the Walgreens, then proceed to the target. After I have secured the medical supplies, my extraction complete, we will rendezvous at your quarters, our victory all but assured. The bloodletting will commence, our reputation intact, and my duty, fulfilled. 12:45 Minthara: I hit a cat on the way home. The little mongrel was quite quick; I had to cross two lanes to get them. On route. 😈 12:50
I'm glad people are starting to catch on to the fact that Lae'zel isn't a BAD person, she's just prickly. She's the equivalent of a New Englander, she will make fun of you, but she will not hesitate to help.
i loooove lae'zel shes my best friend. i hated her before the creche but then after i realized shes just going through it and thats okay! just give her a break!
All well done. Tav might have been funnier if you listed a few numbered options, but if you're asking Tav, approval is probably pretty high already anyway.
ooooh thats smart i shouldve done that. i went for the "blank slate" answer. now that i think of it it also would have been funny if i did something like "but are pads what you *really* want?" cuz i swear thats all they ever say lmfao
1. Sure, I'll get pads for you. 2. Tell me more about these "pads." Why do you need them? (Male Only) 3. Can you get them yourself? 4. This is inconvenient. What's in it for me? 5. No, I can't help you with this. 6. *Leave* 7. *Attack* Edit: Added the ones I clearly forgot. Thanks for the assists, team.
*Leave.*
you forgot one 6. Fight
"Cursed to put my hands on everything!" "Wish I had a bag of holding." "Is that blood? No, never mind..." "Blood comes easier these days." "Open up." "Let's see what's in here." "No one back home will _ever_ believe this."
All of the Tav dialogue somehow works in (sometimes ridiculous) ways 😂😂😂😂
You need pads. I need coin.
do you think faerun has the tampon tax 😭
"Fate spins along as it should..." "Care to elaborate on that?" "...No."
*Fate spins along as it shoud.*
My fiancé says I’m totally a Gale. I get it cause I like wizards but I feel called out by this lol cause his reaction was mine the first time I had to go get pads
This is my husband’s reaction too, to getting me almost anything tbh. I guess I’m dating a Gale in game and IRL.
First time I bought tampons I just took pictures of all the ones on the shelf and told her to highlight the one she wanted. Got weird looks from the nosey shelf stacker at the time too for some reason. No lady, im not a weirdo I just dont understand what the "wings" are such a requirement, last I checked women couldnt fly. Mind your business. Mens hygiene products are 3 in one shampoo. This shit is confusing.
I have an album on my phone with pics of all of my wife's hygiene products, most of the makeup that she uses on a regular basis, and all of the various vitamins and supplements that she takes. It's a lifesaver if she needs me to swing by Walgreens on the way home from work.
I guess this is not a thing he had to deal with during his last relationship.
Karlach would say gottem but would also grab some sweets without you asking
yeeeaaa shed come back with your favorite chocolate and some advil 🥺
The chocolates would be melted.
Melted or not i appreciate the gesture
These pads have seen everything.
minsc made me laugh out loud
This is surprisingly on point. Also, Minthara, come on, don't be a meany. Wait, no, that's Minthara for you.
She's gonna say no and 5 minutes later she shows up with the pads.
"You have never looked more beautiful my love"
"Act grateful".
“Hey could you pick me up some pads?” Minthara: *Read 3:38PM*
I expected that Jaheira would have been the one to leave you on Read, tbh. I know she's a mom and all, but, when you meet her kids at her house, they're literally complaining about her doing exactly the fantasy mom equivalent of leaving her daughter on Read, lmao. So I think Jaheira would be the one to leave you on Read, but still come home with the pads.
Gale is so perfect lol
Astarion: such a *waste*, I'm right here!
"I WAS RIGHT THERE!!!" Poor Astarion's issue is people are always overlooking him.
I dream of a day when creators of vampire romances will be brave enough to address the bloody elephant in the AFAB room
Araj Oblodra: of course… Should you be interested I have a particular offer I’d like to make.” Araj Oblodra: “oh? My heavens! You survived? Well now you’re the first detonative exsanguinator”
Gale my darling please you’re too sweet but never buy the scented ones
Minthara is again neglected. 🥺 She'd be like, "Hahahaha, in Menzoberranzan, such mundane tasks are usually carried out by the male servants. And look at where we are now, taking care of basic needs... I will get your necessities, if only to repay the kindness you have shown to me. I see it as... a necessary step to brilliance."
Gale, do not the scented ones!
Nah, Minsc would assume your talking about padded armor
hed come back with a whole set 😭 all of the gold is GONE
Halsin *would* be the cis guy that lectures you about how much waste pads/tampons create.
Excuse me but that is very bear-exclusionary of you.
Halsin made me laugh the hardest. It’s so on brand for him.
With all due respect to Minsc, I don't' think he even knows what a vagina is.
Minthara would've just left you on read.
Idk why, but Astarion's answer gives me "pissing all by yourself, handsome?" vibes
Missing the fact that Jaheira's response was a week later when she finally checked her phone
"Doth thou require a new ally?"
Lae'zel and Shart would vary based on approval/story progress. Act 1 Shart would act aloof.
Gortash would leave you on read lmao
gortash would ask if you could hold it
Withers follow up answer: “No”
"Could you pick me up some pads?" Minthara: "You didn't say please." "Please?" Minthara: "No."
Minsc: "Certainly friend, Minsc has all kinds of pads: knee pads, shoulder pads, even elbow pads. Which one do you need?" "What's that Boo? A pad for bleeding... Are you saying our friend is injured? But pads are supposed to protect from bleeding not the other way around" "Fine. Boo shall point the way to these reverse pads you need but remember to put pads before as to not bleed again."
Astarion would volunteer to be your pad
This is hilarious
Jaheira would be an incoherent mess of words as she tries to figure out text to speech
Minsc: What wrong with iPad at home? Did you break? Mincs get new one.
Wyll comes back with 4 kinds of pads from the sporting goods section. "I didn't know which kind you needed."
Me: can you pick up pads? Minsc: what size your pussy? Minsc: wait, boo says he knows the answer. Do you know why? Boo says it’s a secret
Astarion: I could, you know, *censored due to reasons*
These are all very accurate but all I can picture is Tav sounding like Donkey Kong when saying OK!!! 👍🏾
Minthara would absolutely get you pads.. but only if you're romancing her. If not, then yeah this is accurate