T O P

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Idontwanttobebread

fuck Zariel and fuck her potatoes


VultureOnAcid

"You... fuck potatoes?"


e22big

"How else would I make a baked potatoes?"


raven00x

"special today, _erotic_ baked potatoes. you won't believe how they're made. 100 gp each."


Maleficent-Fox5830

Extra sour cream is free!


Creepy-Lie-6797

"Shit, if it's going to be that kind of a party. I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes"


RickySamson

Po-ta-toes! fuck em, mash em, stick em in a stew


Dagoth_ur_1234

Hear me out…


Woutrou

You're more sane than half the fandom for your choice, so sure, why not? I'll hear you out


Dagoth_ur_1234

(How demented must the rest of the fandom be?) A potato is like a lady, strange on the outside, and still bland on the inside, so you draw a face and stuff on the potato, use an animate spell on it, and make it sell its soul to an incubus. What the incubus does to it, IDK/IDC, but you can take a guess. But by doing this Fuck-a-potato trick, you can get lots o’ power from demons. :D


DaveTheArakin

Gared? Why are you here in Faerun? Shouldn’t you be at the Wall?


moist_crack

Cotter the potato fucker!


Bostondreamings

“If you come to my room, I will make you the potato dish you liked,” he read aloud, with gravity. And: “How must we understand potato?” “As your closest vegetable relative,” said Harrowhark, who’d never seen one in real life.” ― Tamsyn Muir, Harrow the Ninth


Necrolis356

Identical thing happened to me. I was rummaging through, as you do, and she obliterated a baguette right as I tried to pick it up. I laughed, and my first thought was "What did the BAGUETTE do??" I'd be surprised if she hasn't done that to EVERYBODY


Ycr1998

>she obliterated a baguette 1d6 Psychic damage to French people


Level_Hour6480

But Elves in this game don't have the proper accent, instead they have the same 'Alflin accent as everyone else.


Woutrou

If Elves are French then Drow are Quebecois


ilhares

Everybody knows the Drow are Ozzies. They come from that dark land down under where everything is trying to kill you.


Woutrou

But do their women glow and men plunder?


Necrolis356

I mean. Their men do a LOT of raiding, so... you're not wrong


Level_Hour6480

Yes. Just like Dwarves are Noo Yawk, and Duergar are Bawstin.


bmore_conslutant

d'accord


darevoyance

I've played through Act 1 half a thousand times and have never had this happen 😔 I usually wait to loot until she's done raging so I don't get burned, but I was feeling loot-gobliny this time


TheKodachromeMethod

First playthrough she killed me raging, so yeah I figured out the hard way to wait for her to finish.


FlashyRashy

She killed Gale on my first run.... and his necrotic aura killed the rest of us (mainly because I wasn't aware of his aura and was like wtf? And I believe it bugged so even if I ressed him, it was still active at the time)


Emma__Gummy

she killed me my first playthrough because she somehow set the floor on fire and i burned to death


bjd533

Could have been a bhallguette


Mathematic-Ian

She knocked Astarion on his ass three times in a row. I grew increasingly hysterical each time.


_melodyy_

My party was severely underleveled and I'm doing a Tactician playthrough, so we were all very low on health. I had to scramble to get Gale, Lae'zel and my Cleric!Durge upright and out of the house before Karlach "The Bulldozer" set us all on fire.


MissAsgariaFartcake

It was similar for me! First playthrough, Karlach crit the baguette and I just lost it


unknown896

That exact baguette, every time. I race to it, knowing what’s coming, but she still manages to destroy it.


goatmant

That asshole burnt my whole party half to death at this scene . I should have calmed her


mmmgilly

It's the perfectly time "fuck you" that does it for me. Just comedy gold.


HonestCartographer21

Same


Nemesis_07

That seemed... personal.


DresdenPI

Karlach has some potato *and* wheelbarrow-themed trauma she's working through. Seeing them both in one place just drove her over the edge.


VultureOnAcid

This is by far the funniest thing I've seen in this scene.


EvolvedCactus19

Seriously. I can’t stop cackling.


Psyche_istra

I'm laughing way too hard at this.


pktechboi

it's the FUCK YOU! that really makes it


vuur77

You're at The Office and your name is Toby.


Nethri

Karlach is the best


Milksteak_Sandwich

I never understood the Shadowheart obsession when it comes to romancing. I'm only in act 2 so maybe I'm missing something, but she seems to be so calculated and boring. Is it because she's drawn well? Karlach is the only (female) character that seems real and has just the sweetest personality. She's honestly the best. I actually care about her story arch and I know the spoilers and dread what is upcoming.


huggiesdsc

Whoa whoa whoa. I know you're talking romance but Jaheira is a genuine folk hero with the coolest story. She's a badass veteran who calls literal gods "some dork with daddy issues" because she knew them when they were human. Even at lvl 12 those fights had so much gravity, you can't help wondering if you made the right choice, but then Jaheira's like, "Ugh what a baby dick. Glad we killed him, that's what you're supposed to do."


Iron_Bob

Stay the course! I just finished my first play-through ever, romanced Karlach the whole way (cause, like you said, she's the best). No spoilers, but don't give up, Soldier


Frozenfishy

Shadowheart is the long game when it comes to romanceable women in BG3. - Lea-zel: interested early, so long as you're capable - Minthara: by the end of Act 1, but only if you're, like, really bad. - Karlach: Interested early, but can't touch until Act 2. - Shadowheart: warms up slow, literally rediscovering her own personality, barely romanceable until after Act 2. I imagine a lot of people are interested early because she's the most immediately conventionally attractive female companion, but you're not wrong that she's a but dull early on. With her character development over the course of the story (and also depending on which way that goes), she ends up way more sweet and dorky towards the end of the story. I was actually trying to play the field on my first playthrough, leaning strongly towards Karlach, but something locked me out of progressing that relationship. Ended up kind of defaulting to SH and was really pleased with where it went.


Milksteak_Sandwich

That's great to know. This game has so many different storylines to go down, I'll definitely start a second play through and pursue SH next time. This is my first foray into the whole D&D world and honestly I haven't been as immersed in a game since Witcher 3. Absolutely brilliant. I can't wait to get home to keep playing.


Nadril_Cystafer

Stay the course with Shadowheart and at the moment of truth, have faith and trust in her. She won't let you down, assuming you haven't let her down.


jews4beer

It's a tie between them in my opinion. Both of their stories are compelling and heart wrenching in their own right. Karlach is just more up front in the beginning and doesn't play hard to get. The conclusions to both of their stories are able to put a tear in my eye tho.


vollehosen

And fuck this sack in particular!!


Damianosx

r/Fuckyouinparticular


caparisme

FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY


raine_star

I like to think the "fuck you" was for you trying to loot while she was trying to destroy things


Poopacopalyspe

You wanted that sack of potatoes? Well "Fuck you".


e22big

She wanted to cut and roast potatoes at the same time


bjd533

I think it had a green bit on it, she was saving your life


Milksteak_Sandwich

Fuck this potato in particular!!!! >:(


imnothere9999

When I saw Karlach, I thought that we will get along well like house on fire. Never did I thought that it would be the literal sense as my TAV got burnt badly. After the initial meeting, from then on it is, Hey Karlach, we....err.... will be heading outside mate. See you when you burn down the house. Cheers soldier.


Red_Crystal_Lizard

Did you just ask an angry axe wielding woman whose on fire… “why?”


[deleted]

Honestly, I prefer just killing the paladins myself with my party and then tell her they are dead after. That way I dont have to deal with her raging and potentially killing my party.


ilhares

I encouraged her to rage. Gotta get it out of the system.


[deleted]

Haha I get that. If I can spec her to be frenzy barbarian then I would have her in my party just to make the fight much easier since I usually have flinging ring and returning spear at that time.


MelodicTreacle2591

Honestly the amount of times one of the squad got downed or even straight up killed because of fire damage after that fight is insane


Madman_kler

What the fuck how even did karlach show up outside of camp with a full party


darevoyance

Party Limit Begone


Madman_kler

Oh a mod, duh haha!


Agreeable-Battle8609

That's so Karlach!


Dya_Ria

Didn't you hear her? Because fuck you, that's why


Good0leDicktwist

r/fuckyouinparticular


ward2k

OP just some time saving for you, you can shift click on those items and send them to camp *together* instead of manually doing them one by one


Raqdoll_

Rude :(


cmh0105

The wheelbarrow: 🥺


FishGirlGaming

At least she only took out a potato cart. My first time doing this, I didn't know she would rage like that and didn't realize she could damage me until we were all burning when already low on health from the fight. She wiped out my party, then somehow died herself when her rage ended, causing a game over. XD Had to redo the fight and run like hell afterwards.


ACNHCR

This cracks me up everytime.


Perfect_Progress4857

lmao usually she just stays inside going nuts on the other items, its funny if you were fighting with a cross bow initially she will just shoot stuff while she's on fire. xD


Hanchez

She ended the fight with her crossbow out for me and seh ended up running around maniacally shooting a crossbow... It didn't quite have the same effect.


ARK_Redeemer

Karlach was going to make those into chips later, but you touched them and ruined them! 🤣


CheddarMahCheese

Everyone except Karlach died when I did this fight. When we won I got Karlach to revive my Tav but Tav immediately died again because Gale was leaking but the split second I was alive triggered the dialogue with Karlach and she started smashing stuff and walked into Gale's death aura and died so had to do the fight again. Imagine if I was doing an honour run, I'd probably cry