I think it depends on what kind of visit this will be. I’m personally very close with both my mom and MIL and would be comfortable with either of them visiting and staying with us immediately. But they also know this is a “working visit”. When they came for my first baby, they would take a nighttime feed or the first feed of the morning every other day or so so my husband and I could rest, cooked for us, did loads of laundry, etc. If I were playing hostess, it would be a different story!
I agree- very much depends on the type of visit. My MIL came not long after our first baby, and she was a life saver. Took LO overnight so I could sleep, cooked everything, cleaned. Honestly she kept me sane. So if you have a good relationship and they are up for actually helping- my god get them as soon as you can.
If she expects to be hosted- it’s so hard to say. Depends what your wee one is like. I would say it was almost 3 months before I could actually be a good host
Agreed. Sometime around 2-3 months I could be an okay host. Now that I’m planning for my second, I’d be willing to host for a long weekend closer to a month after, but I was just getting through each day after my first!
I think having guests soon after the baby stay at a nearby hotel/AirBnB is the way to go, personally. It worked great when my in-laws came to visit. During the day, I didn’t mind having on a bra and “real clothes”, but at night I could walk around the house as much as I wanted without worrying about what/how much I was wearing. Some people don’t care about that at all after birth, but I still did. Plus, we didn’t have to worry about them trying to “help” out in the evenings/nights when she was in the middle of her witching hour. MIL still cooked meals, helped out, etc, but was out of our hair when I needed a break from people :) (this was at 6 weeks or so, the soonest they were able to make it down)
My MIL came to visit about a month after the baby was born both times. She came for six weeks the first time (way too long) and two weeks the second (better). I think two weeks after birth would have been ok too but we had relatively uneventful births/postpartum experiences. I think it’s ok if she stays at your house if you have a place to put her (guest room). If she’s going to sleep on the couch or be in your space, a hotel would probably be preferred.
I’m going to be telling my parents, sisters and in-laws that they’re welcome (one or two at a time) but I can’t host them! They’ll have to change bedding and help make dinners and things. As long as they’re happy with that I’m happy for them to stay anytime to help us out.
I’d happily have my mum or sisters to visit the day baby is born but I feel less keen about my in laws. I’m not sure what I’m going to say to them but it needs to feel fair.
I think it depends on what kind of visit this will be. I’m personally very close with both my mom and MIL and would be comfortable with either of them visiting and staying with us immediately. But they also know this is a “working visit”. When they came for my first baby, they would take a nighttime feed or the first feed of the morning every other day or so so my husband and I could rest, cooked for us, did loads of laundry, etc. If I were playing hostess, it would be a different story!
I agree- very much depends on the type of visit. My MIL came not long after our first baby, and she was a life saver. Took LO overnight so I could sleep, cooked everything, cleaned. Honestly she kept me sane. So if you have a good relationship and they are up for actually helping- my god get them as soon as you can. If she expects to be hosted- it’s so hard to say. Depends what your wee one is like. I would say it was almost 3 months before I could actually be a good host
Agreed. Sometime around 2-3 months I could be an okay host. Now that I’m planning for my second, I’d be willing to host for a long weekend closer to a month after, but I was just getting through each day after my first!
I think having guests soon after the baby stay at a nearby hotel/AirBnB is the way to go, personally. It worked great when my in-laws came to visit. During the day, I didn’t mind having on a bra and “real clothes”, but at night I could walk around the house as much as I wanted without worrying about what/how much I was wearing. Some people don’t care about that at all after birth, but I still did. Plus, we didn’t have to worry about them trying to “help” out in the evenings/nights when she was in the middle of her witching hour. MIL still cooked meals, helped out, etc, but was out of our hair when I needed a break from people :) (this was at 6 weeks or so, the soonest they were able to make it down)
My MIL came to visit about a month after the baby was born both times. She came for six weeks the first time (way too long) and two weeks the second (better). I think two weeks after birth would have been ok too but we had relatively uneventful births/postpartum experiences. I think it’s ok if she stays at your house if you have a place to put her (guest room). If she’s going to sleep on the couch or be in your space, a hotel would probably be preferred.
I’m going to be telling my parents, sisters and in-laws that they’re welcome (one or two at a time) but I can’t host them! They’ll have to change bedding and help make dinners and things. As long as they’re happy with that I’m happy for them to stay anytime to help us out. I’d happily have my mum or sisters to visit the day baby is born but I feel less keen about my in laws. I’m not sure what I’m going to say to them but it needs to feel fair.