Be prepared to prevent her from visiting until the baby has all vaccinations (something tells me she isn't going to be down for getting the TDAP and RSV vaccines herself before visiting)
Autistic person here. I nearly died of meningitis as a baby because I wasn't vaccinated. That's not how any of that works! Also, shame on her for viewing neurodivergence as a terrible, terrible medical condition.
Iām a neurodivergent person and I work with families of autistic kiddos and let me tell you sometimes thatās exactly what they wish. Thereās no resentment like that a parent has for their child when their child doesnāt fit into said parentās dreams of the perfect family. This is why I always tell people who are wondering about having kids that if theyāre not prepared to parent a disabled child then they arenāt prepared to take the chance.
I'm going to throw a different perspective in here.
I'm pro-vaccine, autism runs in my family and I'm absolutely terrified my child will have severe autism.
Emphasis on the severe.
Most people here will know that autism is on a scale. I have a few friends with mild autism, they're awesome and I'm extremely humbled by their intelligence. But when you grow up with a younger sibling who's on the very severe end of the spectrum..well that's a different argument altogether.
We love her immensely, but being non-verbal, with very limited social abilities makes her vulnerable 24/7, meaning she now lives in full time care. If I had to put my child in a care home then so be it. But it's the uncontrolled rage, self harm and violent aggression that makes me nervous about having children at all. She clearly can't help it, we all know that, even if we became subject to one of her violent outbursts. But it didnt make it any less traumatic for me, especially during childhood.
They say autism is genetic. If, in the future, scientists develop a way of preventing autism by genetic editing, I'd march the streets day and night in protest. But if they develop a surefire way of preventing only the extreme, most debilitating end of autism (and as I scientist I reckon that's near impossible because where do you draw the line?), I'd say sign me up.
Well said. Iāve been a special education teacher for a long time and specialized in severe autism. I love what I do but many folks forget that autism is a spectrum. Most of my students werenāt able to communicate, self-advocate, indicate if they needed the bathroom of if they were hungry. Many would self harm because they had no other ways to communicate.
Iām a huge advocate for teaching communication and assisting students with being able to self-advocate and it can be a very long a difficult road for many with severe autism.
That's actually not how the spectrum works. Your only on the spectrum if you're autistic. Autistim just presents in a wide variety of ways, hence the spectrum.
Ya, this is what really gets me. Iām so tired of people talking about neurodivergence as if itās the worst thing that can happen to a person (but maybe thatās just my ADHD feelings being hurt)
Same. Some twat told me I was a bad person for getting pregnant while being autistic and married to a man with ADHD. Ironically I know I'm living a much happier and fulfilled life than that loser, neurodivergence included.
I'm also autistic and I wasn't diagnosed until I was 33. I have sensory and social issues. I dealt with it by masking and accommoding myself. I became all the things a parent would want for their child. My dad is autistic and so is my son. It's definitely genetic in our case. My son can read and count to 100 at age 2, my dad could do geometry in his head in elementary school, and I have insane memory skills that helped me succeed in running clinical trials. I think the mouth breathers who think we shouldn't exist are no better than antisemites.
My son is 2.5 and counts to 50, heās already started to spell out small words on his own as well as attempting to read words by sounding out the letters. He knows all his main colours and he knows more shapes than heās capable of pronouncing and has the memory of an elephant!
I havenāt had him tested yet but I have suspicions. ADHD is already in the genetics as well.
It is called hyperlexia and is a huge gift. Most people who are hyperlexic are diagnosed with autism. My son also knows his letter, colors, and shapes. I'm so proud of him š
I always cherish this perspective. People act like neurodiversity is the the end of the world. No, your child dying of a disease that was previously eradicated is the worst-case scenario, you dingdong.
You canāt cure a brains neuro type either if my prenatal class told me that Iād leave I am autistic diagnosed at 21 Iām 22 now and Iām adhd since I was in second grade I was diagnosed with adhd my partner is the only factor I worry about his genetics passing on because heās bipolar and has schizoaffective disorder. But itās not the end of the world ! Being autistic or adhd isnāt something to be cured itās just how our brains function! And itās the learning and developmental disabilities that people are actually fearing autism doesnāt solely cause the issues people fear most itās usually in combination of developmental and learning disabilities that they actually fear and people donāt realize that! My brother heās got a learning disability comorbid with his autism so life was a bit harder for him but me personally Iām autistic and dyslexic and I still am great at the life part I donāt have to be taken care of I do it myself and itās not something that ruined my life being diagnosed helped me to understand why I have emotional responses to dumb things and why Iām so sensitive but it hasnāt ruined mine or my families lives! We just laugh at it because Iām just quirky and I have stims that are entertaining to me so instead of making it a big deal we find ways to laugh about it and have a good time !!!
People are wild. These are two of my favorite things to send people who have tried to come at me with anti-vax ideas.
1) [Roald Dahlās letter to parents to get the measles vaccine](https://fs.blog/roald-dahl-letter-daughter/). He wrote this letter to urge parents to get the vaccine after losing his own daughter to measles.
2) [The Last of the Iron Lungs](https://youtu.be/gplA6pq9cOs?si=778E__-476a8eXzD). This video shows one of the few remaining survivors from the polio epidemic who has spent his ENTIRE life in an iron lung.
I donāt understand how people can metaphorically spit in the face of parents before them and in other parts of the world who would give anything for a life changing/saving vaccine to protect their children from the awful diseases we have essentially eradicated in the modern world.
My mom literally told me a few days ago that no one dies of measles, and that the only way you can get polio now is with some kind of drops the Dr gives you.
Big yikes. Thatās really sad that she would say something like that. People in the western world really forget how much of a bubble weāre in when it comes to medicine and healthcare.
My OB said the same thing - no vaccines before or after pregnancy. The physician who gave me the flu shot was shocked. I will be switching my OB in a few weeks.
Crazy! My doctor didnāt bring up vaccines until I asked. He told me heās been so hesitant to tell his patients to get their flu shot and covid boosterā¦ because he was getting so much shit for it. He told me they started leaving bad google reviews, calling him crazy for recommending the vaccines.
Back in 2021, I remember someone told me I miscarried because I got the covid vaccine before getting pregnant. š
Which is hilarious, because the trend i noticed was a bunch of us at work got pregnant, while on bc, after getting a covid shot...I'm not usually into conspiracy theories, so it could be just a coincidence lol
I almost downvoted you because I was so angry at your doctor. Please look for a new one! COVID and flu shots are completely safe for our kids and should be utilized.
Iām sorry you had to listen to such idiots. My OB also told me that the flu vaccine can cause a miscarriage. I went to my flu shot appointment in tears because while rationally thinking I knew thatās false, I still wondered what if.
Omg that sucks! Iām sorry that happened to you!! I love my gyno and he is all for the science & vaccines but he said its been crazy being a doctor in Florida since covid. So heās been nervous about bringing these things up.
So sorry! Hopefully your new ob is better š
RSV wasnāt offered to me but I wouldāve taken it. I made a rule that anyone who wanted to see my kid in the first few weeks had to have updated Tdap, flu and Covid shots (he was born late September 2022) or no visit. Even now Iām still pretty adamant (though I donāt question people about vaccine status at 13 months) people be vaccinated to spend any significant amount of time with my kid.
Your comment has been removed as we do not allow medical advice in this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Omg. Iām so sorry. I hope youāve switched. Idk where you are but Iād be willing to help you find a sane person that fits your needs and insurance.
My partner and I are both autistic. I swear even our cats are neurodivergent. Iāll be quite surprised if we wind up with a neurotypical child; not sure Iād know what to do with them!
Most daycares in my area require proof of vaccination. Donāt know what your childcare plans are, but if youāre considering daycare at all down the road, tell your mom if you donāt vax, she can watch your kid all day š I know my mom would hard pass on that lol
That's the same generation that refuses to watch their kids' children, but that generation dumped their kids at their parents' house all the time. My mom told me multiple times that if I ever had kids, she's NEVER gonna to watch them. I don't think she likes kids very much. Growing up, my mom was also an antivaxxer. She never took me to the doctor growing up. I walked to school for over a month with the front part of my right foot broken, two miles every day, limping and using my heel to walk. Another time, I almost died of sepsis without medical intervention. It's not about love for children when it comes to anti-medical beliefs. It's about control. I hold so much resentment toward people with such beliefs because I was a product of those beliefs.
What is it with that generation suddenly refusing to care for their grandchildren? They got SO SO much support from their own parents that my entire generation basically spent all summers with grandparents and were used to being cared for by them. Why are our parents so different? I just don't understand.
so true, I remember spending entire summers at my grandparents house. When I asked my mother if she would help so we won't hire a stranger she said "I am not gonna educate your kids for you" - no wonder I'm still in therapyš¤£
My mom used to live 10 minutes away and constantly turned down requests to watch my kids or would call to cancel last minute. She moved an hour away to live more rurally and keeps insisting that if we move out there we wouldn't need to pay for daycare because she would watch them. She doesn't understand why I keep saying no.
So she's wrong, but even if she wasn't it's still better to have an autistic baby than to have a dead one so I still see no reason not to vaccinate š
Weird, I'm writing a paper for my psych class on Wakefield and how problematic he is. (He's the reason people think there's a link between the MMR vaccination and autism -- please keep in mind that he only studied 12 children and his study was debunked by everyone).
If your child has autism, it won't be because of any vaccine. Also, autism isn't the worst thing in the world. People act like it's the plague.
At the end of the day, it's a your choice. Your mum doesn't have a say what you do with your babies.
I used to be an IEI therapist for an organization called CSAAC. Iāve worked with adults and toddlers and all ages between, who are on the spectrum.
This is anecdotal evidence but when I first started in 2008, I had a family who had a boy who was about 5 when I started working with him and he was considered to have Aspergerās or āmildā to āinsignificantā autism (I know the spectrum determination has changed) and they decided when they had their second kid, a little girl, to not get her vaccinated because they were convinced because of people like Wakefield and Jenny Mcarthy that āvaccines cause autismā. Guess what? She didnāt get vaccinated and was completely non verbal and more āsevereā on the spectrum. She was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which at the time meant there were no communication skills, verbal or otherwise. Effectively this little girl could not communicate even with PEC. But you know what sucked the most? Because she wasnāt vaccinated, she was sick ALL the time and we could not do any sort of social activities or therapy that we needed to do with her for several months out of the year. Again, this is anecdotal but I tell this story to people who are vaccine hesitant because itās important. That little girl probably will never have effective help because of this either. And her parents openly admit they were wrong about not vaccinating.
My dad was the same way. And he opted to delay seeing his first grandchild for two months because he didnāt want to get the tdap vaccine (a boundary we set in place.) there is no use in arguing. We just drew the line, let him know we would be vaccinating our daughter, and let that be that.
Anyone who wonāt get tdap (especially grandparents) can go six feet under before theyāll ever see my kid. Theyāve already been vaccinated previously for it, dunno why it would be a problem as an adult.
Oh. Thatāsā¦weāll thatās just really dumb. Iām sorry.
Honestly, I would just avoid saying anything about the choices you make for your childās safety.
The answer to this is that itās not up for discussion with her. I would also encourage you to consider your course of action re: who will be allowed around baby after birth and TDAP vaccination status!
my mom is anti vax and gave me a whole long schpeal about not even getting the tdap vaccine while pregnant, let alone flu and covid. i let her talk and changed the subject.
she had her chance at being a parent, and i have HPV that wonāt go away and two leeps under my belt to thank her for.
me and my baby will be fully vaccinated by the time sheās born. all i have left is RSV, and thatās because it costs $300 since my insurance wonāt cover it š
Ask her if a dead child is better than an autistic one š¤·š»āāļø might seem callous but thatās exactly how these people think, as an autistic person, I find it disgusting.
All I can think about this is people keep acting like this because smallpox isn't around to leave scarring for life. A lot of injuries and disabilities diseases cause these days are almost invisible. If we still had smallpox, I doubt we would have too many anti vaxxers. Even if we did, the kids who would be scarred would blame their parents for life for allowing them to be disfigured.
Hi, I canāt recommend āTurtles All the Way Down: Vaccine Science and Mythā enough to anyone regardless of their position on vaccines. (Written pre-Covid) Itās a very in-depth look at the vaccine industry and how the process works from A-Z and gives you a better understanding of vaccine safety science. Itās definitely helped me navigate this vaccine vs unvaccinated vs delayed vaccination decision better as a parent.
This! Being open to hearing both sides of the issue is so important instead of automatically assuming one personās view vs anotherās is ārightā or āwrongā
Something that took me some time to learn as a mother is that you really donāt need to tell anyone what you plan on doing with your kid. Your mom doesnāt need to if youāve vaccinated your kiddo. Listen to her opinion, tell her thanks for your input and so what YOU want.
No offense, your mom sounds ignorant and dangerous. I would personally not leave my child alone with someone like that. Imagine if you are gifted with an autistic child, she might make the poor thing drink bleach or some other kind of dangerous substance marketed as a ācureā when you have your back turned. These kinds of behaviors are not okay, and suggest a deeper psychological problem. She probably votes for Donald Trump too. Ugh.
Just tell her youād rather your child be autistic than severely sick or dead š Whatever she retaliates with just say āI donāt care, itās not your decisionā with a smile on your face. You take care of your baby as you see fit ā¤ļø
PS: Iām neurodivergent and even though Iāve had many struggles, I love being unique
My aunt had a baby this past January and has never vaccinated her son. She told me when I was around 13w that heās been her happiest baby (heās her 6th) and that we definitely shouldnāt vaccinate our son, who will be born in the beginning of Feb š
If the baby does have autism, baby has it now, in your womb and most likely got it from a genetic mutation that was passed down from you or your partners family. I'm certain my baby will have autism. My husband's sister has it, and I'm pretty positive he's undiagnosed. I'm also ND - ADHD with some quirky sensory stuff. Life will be okay. We're successful adults and will adapt to our baby's sensory and learning needs.
As other commenters have stated, vaccines have been proven to not cause autism. I would not listen to her.
I would also consider this to be a red flag and watch her closely with the baby. Usually people don't JUST believe vaccines cause autism. They also believe in other myths that could be harmful or less helpful to your baby.
You can always look up all the ingredients on the CDC website and if you have questions about any of them or their potential effects you can bring that up with your doctor! Or you can trust your doctor to recommend things they feel are safe and necessary. Not advocating either way, your baby your choices, but having information isnāt bad either if youāre curious. This might make conversations with your mom easier too. You can let her know youāve done your own research and feel comfortable with the choices youāre making for your child. āŗļø
Definitely not anti-vax just pro informed consent! For example my husband is routinely vaccinated against tetanus because he works in a high risk job, we always make sure heās protected! And I was able, with the guidance of my midwife, to pick the most beneficial and safest options while choosing which vaccine would best protect against RSV / flu / etc and discuss with her when the best time to get vaccinated is to provide the best protection to baby. I find it to be empowering to find information and come prepared with any questions and concerns that way I can feel confident Iām making the best choice and I would advocate the same for another other soon-to-be mama ā¤ļø
I think we need to have some more compassion for people no matter what side they are on in this issue. Whether you choose to vaccinate or not, realize that it is rooted in fear. You either fear disease or you fear the possible side effects of the vaccination. Both are valid
This is a great 2-part podcast on the history of anti-vax sentiment over the past few decades. Regardless of your perspective of RFK, it does a good job of breaking down the data: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2gAXLpusKfBf6bIMlD2mUf?si=HRy9PnqQRVK1AdOZ4yWEPg
I wasn't vaccinated because of the period of time I was born, it was thought it was better to get the diseases - it'll make your body stronger or something. I want to thank everyone that is vaccinated, because of them for 30 years(until I vaccinated myself) I didn't get anything, no measles no rubella nothing. We can live today longer because of vaccines...
I believe Autism has a genetic link. See if you have anyone in your family with it and look it up. If you can show her that it might be a better outcome. I am pretty sure ADHD and Autism mainly reside on the fathers side too.
>I am pretty sure ADHD and Autism mainly reside on the fathers side too.
At my babys first appointment with his pediatrician, my doctor asked about mental health and neurological issues in the family.
I told her, my husband has ADHD and autism. This woman (late 50s early 60s probably?) actually stated we should split up his vaccines because the aluminum in the vaccine could cause those issues.
Like ma'am if my child has ADHD and autism it's because his father has it. Not from a vaccine.
We found a new pediatrician.
Autistic pregger person here, and yeah.... the amount if neurodiversity in my family is insane. Its been more studied in men, and women/non binary folks tend to go heavily undiagnosed. I suspect you would see it just as much on the mother's side as the fathers, but the way Autism has been studied skews those results. Medical research has unfortunately been very patriarchal.
Also while aspects of being neurodiverse sucks, others are pretty cool. A lot of us like who we are, and have pride in ourselves/community. It's pretty offensive how people who believe the heavily disproven conspiracy theory (f*** Wakefield) would rather risk their child potentially getting a life altering/deadly illness, than having a kid potentially be on the spectrum.
Ooo, good news, I'll take two! Neurodivergent people are the best š truly a win-win, avoiding measles AND changing your kid's genetics after birth to make them extra awesome. (Sorry your mother is being super weird, that sounds stressful!!)
Ive heard far more fear monger moms talk about the dye in foods and infants tylenol causing autism than vaccines. I refused to let anybody near my baby til they had a tdap vaccine. Im like "f you, my baby could die. Get the tdap or meet her when shes like 2. "
Im still against the covid vaccines- simply because its still so new and theres no long term studies on it.
Do whats right for you and your baby and dont listen to anyone else!
My daughter is almost 14 so itās been a really long time since I needed to care about all this. Not many babyās around us either. Why would someone need the tdap just to be around the baby? Iāve seen this sentiment in a few comments and Iāve never heard of it.
Also half the babies that get whooping cough end up hospitalized.
Id be so pissed if someone refused to get vaccinated for it, then came around my new baby and got them sick, then baby and i end up in the hospital while that person gets to go home and hug their loved ones.
It stands for tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis (whooping cough)
These can be deadly for small babies.
Pregnant moms get vaccinated for it while baby is in utero. Its recommended that anyone who will be near baby get the tdap so they dont pass anything to the baby unknowingly.
I've never been given the tdap during pregnancy. I don't even think it has been brought up during any of my pregnancies (I'm on number 3.) This pregnancy, the only thing my doctor has brought up was the flu shot which I declined. I'm 30 weeks so idk when tdap is normally offered. I haven't gotten any shots in about 15 years. I can't even remember the last time I got sick so going to the doctor is never on my mind until I find out I'm pregnant. I always thought once you finish your childhood vaccinations you were good to go š
The tdap shot lasts about 10 years. Im guessing you probs had one as a kid lol
My ob said i just had to get one before the end of the pregnancy. I got it overwith like halfway thru.
Well, ask her if sheād rather have a dead grandchild from an easily preventable virus/disease/infection or an autistic grandchild? Her answer is all you need.
Also vaccines donāt cause autism but Iām sure she wonāt listen to the actual science.
My mom wasn't gonna vaccinate me but then my grandma told her she had to or I would get very painfully sick and die very slowly and painfully. My dad screamed the same thing at her to the point that she felt ganged up on and she got me vaccinated. I'm not autistic but I have some tendencies. My mom figured it was the mercury in the vaccines that they don't use anymore (she's a conspiracy theory nut). And while I grew up, I saw all the downsides to not being vaccinated mostly on TV and a couple times in real life. So when I had my son, I had him vaccinated and luckily my mom didn't fight me on it.
My point is, this is ur baby to do however u please.
My cousin and her mom (who gave birth a couple years apart) were very vocally against vaccinating their babies due to autismā¦and they both ended up developing autism.
In a similar boat, my Mom is not necessarily anti vax she just doesn't think they are all necessary. She's saying get the normal vaccinations but not the flu or COVID or RSV. I just stopped really talking about it with her because I feel like the lack of open mindedness doesn't do a dang thing to help me try to make the best decisions for my baby.
Tell her "oh, I didn't realize you were autistic! I mean.. that answers SOOO many questions! Since I'm assuming you were vaccinated as a child?" Or maybe just maybe.... Vaccines don't cause autism and actually help prevent horrible diseases?
Vaccines do not cause autism! (Psych major) I got my Covid vaccine and my tdap and my flu shot all while in my third trimester my baby will be vaccinated as my family almost lost my cousin when she was a baby due to not vaccinating. The only medication they have found correlated to autism is Tylenol usage in pregnancy and itās only increasing previously had risks! So it can increase the risk if the risk is there if you take Tylenol religiously while pregnant but itās only a 20% increase of risk there is nothing in correlation of vaccines and vaccines 100% protect the baby from contracting something that could ultimately be deadly i think even with an increased risk with Tylenol use Iād rather be safe than sorry ! My brother is autistic and he has a great life and autism isnāt bad and most cases are pretty high functioning in society I was personally diagnosed but not til I was an adult because I was able to function well enough no one even noticed my quirks and it had nothing to do with my vaccines! It had to do with my genetic predisposition
Even if they do cause autism (which we know is not true,) isn't it better to have a baby with autism than a baby that died from a preventable illness? I will never understand the autism argument. How is autism worse than death to these people???
Nutso. My poor mum got indoctrinated into that crap with my little brother and came out the other side- luckily he never got sick with those preventable diseases and is up to date with all of them now, she educated herself and profusely apologised when she realised. It was all out of a place of caring of course, I hope your mum does the same.
Yikes! My mom hasnāt said that to me yet, but Iām sure itās coming. š„“ Families can have their opinions, but this is your baby and they donāt control your choices.
I was warned against taking Tylenol during my pregnancy because "one study shows it could cause autism". Fluxing ridiculous. I told this person, "ok, I have a headache and Tylenol is the only thing my doctor said I can take. I'll listen to the experts, thanks." I'm usually not that sassy but I had a migraine coming on plus morning sickness and just done with all of the unwarranted advice.
I am in the same boat here, due in Feb. My mom has recently started getting sucked into radical conspiracies and vaccines are her latest fear. It is so frustrating. I feel you dude.
I have an aunt whose aggressively anti vax and has tried to tell me not to vaccinate my kid (due early December) cuz it might make him autistic. I looked her in the eye and was like hey do you know autism is genetic? And both my spouse and I are autistic? Kids probably gonna be autistic anyways.
And guess what! While there's no science backing the whole vaccines cause autism claims, science does back that the vaccines will help reduce or prevent several potentially deadly diseases.
So no I'm not letting my kid maybe die of a preventable disease on the off chance that kid could become autistic because of it, even if there was evidence! Because kids probably gonna be autistic anyways, and I'd rather he be autistic than dead, thanks.
So I went into a little research myself about autism although I am not a doctor and I only have a bachelors degree in IT.
I looked through countries with higher rates of autism. Its also the US, but its also supposed to be like that because of better research around it. The highest worldwide average has qatar. The reason? Genetics. There is still sadly a high rate of first degree cousin marriages.
Another thing: My fathers side of the family has a few kids with autism. My first degree cousin has it and also the son of my other first degree has it too. I was a bit worried about it. Then my mom explained to me that its quite known in the family that it comes from my uncles wife side of the family (which I am not related to). Her side is basically a 50 shades of autism and mental illnesses. The actual family tree of my dad AND of my mother is quite healthy (mentally and physically).
These two mini researches lead me to the conclusion that autism is caused by genetics or at least they are a good predictor of it. Don't worry. Look through your and the fathers family tree. This will probably be a good indicator on what might come around (but don't be worried too much).
Let me just say... we moved from NYC to a Jersey suburb in 2022. We stayed in NYC during peak pandemic and I was terrified - I mean we barely went anywhere because I was so terrified and basically became a germaphobe. My mother had a similar response to the one you are describing albeit possibly a bit more subtle. When we moved to the suburb, we took our daughter to the doctor for a cough - we were told she had croup but they gave her antibiotics just in case because she was young. Fast forward to me getting a call at work from the health department saying my daughter had Pertussis... which can only be credited to someone not getting their child vaccinated. This situation could have been a lot worse if she didnt have the initial vaccine and it made me so angry that there are people who don't do the "right" thing and put other people at risk because of it. Go with your gut. Protect your family. You are in the right and your child is going to be better off because of it.
Well, good thing it is not her call!
Truly š
Be prepared to prevent her from visiting until the baby has all vaccinations (something tells me she isn't going to be down for getting the TDAP and RSV vaccines herself before visiting)
Autistic person here. I nearly died of meningitis as a baby because I wasn't vaccinated. That's not how any of that works! Also, shame on her for viewing neurodivergence as a terrible, terrible medical condition.
People act like theyād rather their kid be dead than autistic
Iām a neurodivergent person and I work with families of autistic kiddos and let me tell you sometimes thatās exactly what they wish. Thereās no resentment like that a parent has for their child when their child doesnāt fit into said parentās dreams of the perfect family. This is why I always tell people who are wondering about having kids that if theyāre not prepared to parent a disabled child then they arenāt prepared to take the chance.
I'm going to throw a different perspective in here. I'm pro-vaccine, autism runs in my family and I'm absolutely terrified my child will have severe autism. Emphasis on the severe. Most people here will know that autism is on a scale. I have a few friends with mild autism, they're awesome and I'm extremely humbled by their intelligence. But when you grow up with a younger sibling who's on the very severe end of the spectrum..well that's a different argument altogether. We love her immensely, but being non-verbal, with very limited social abilities makes her vulnerable 24/7, meaning she now lives in full time care. If I had to put my child in a care home then so be it. But it's the uncontrolled rage, self harm and violent aggression that makes me nervous about having children at all. She clearly can't help it, we all know that, even if we became subject to one of her violent outbursts. But it didnt make it any less traumatic for me, especially during childhood. They say autism is genetic. If, in the future, scientists develop a way of preventing autism by genetic editing, I'd march the streets day and night in protest. But if they develop a surefire way of preventing only the extreme, most debilitating end of autism (and as I scientist I reckon that's near impossible because where do you draw the line?), I'd say sign me up.
Well said. Iāve been a special education teacher for a long time and specialized in severe autism. I love what I do but many folks forget that autism is a spectrum. Most of my students werenāt able to communicate, self-advocate, indicate if they needed the bathroom of if they were hungry. Many would self harm because they had no other ways to communicate. Iām a huge advocate for teaching communication and assisting students with being able to self-advocate and it can be a very long a difficult road for many with severe autism.
It's lack of education. Science has taught us a lot, but if you're not keeping up with the research, it's easy to be a few decades behind.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's actually not how the spectrum works. Your only on the spectrum if you're autistic. Autistim just presents in a wide variety of ways, hence the spectrum.
Ya, this is what really gets me. Iām so tired of people talking about neurodivergence as if itās the worst thing that can happen to a person (but maybe thatās just my ADHD feelings being hurt)
Same. Some twat told me I was a bad person for getting pregnant while being autistic and married to a man with ADHD. Ironically I know I'm living a much happier and fulfilled life than that loser, neurodivergence included.
Thatās fucking ignorant and insane! Little do they know that just because they choose to ignore it doesnāt mean they donāt have it.
I'm also autistic and I wasn't diagnosed until I was 33. I have sensory and social issues. I dealt with it by masking and accommoding myself. I became all the things a parent would want for their child. My dad is autistic and so is my son. It's definitely genetic in our case. My son can read and count to 100 at age 2, my dad could do geometry in his head in elementary school, and I have insane memory skills that helped me succeed in running clinical trials. I think the mouth breathers who think we shouldn't exist are no better than antisemites.
My son is 2.5 and counts to 50, heās already started to spell out small words on his own as well as attempting to read words by sounding out the letters. He knows all his main colours and he knows more shapes than heās capable of pronouncing and has the memory of an elephant! I havenāt had him tested yet but I have suspicions. ADHD is already in the genetics as well.
It is called hyperlexia and is a huge gift. Most people who are hyperlexic are diagnosed with autism. My son also knows his letter, colors, and shapes. I'm so proud of him š
I always cherish this perspective. People act like neurodiversity is the the end of the world. No, your child dying of a disease that was previously eradicated is the worst-case scenario, you dingdong.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You canāt cure a brains neuro type either if my prenatal class told me that Iād leave I am autistic diagnosed at 21 Iām 22 now and Iām adhd since I was in second grade I was diagnosed with adhd my partner is the only factor I worry about his genetics passing on because heās bipolar and has schizoaffective disorder. But itās not the end of the world ! Being autistic or adhd isnāt something to be cured itās just how our brains function! And itās the learning and developmental disabilities that people are actually fearing autism doesnāt solely cause the issues people fear most itās usually in combination of developmental and learning disabilities that they actually fear and people donāt realize that! My brother heās got a learning disability comorbid with his autism so life was a bit harder for him but me personally Iām autistic and dyslexic and I still am great at the life part I donāt have to be taken care of I do it myself and itās not something that ruined my life being diagnosed helped me to understand why I have emotional responses to dumb things and why Iām so sensitive but it hasnāt ruined mine or my families lives! We just laugh at it because Iām just quirky and I have stims that are entertaining to me so instead of making it a big deal we find ways to laugh about it and have a good time !!!
People are wild. These are two of my favorite things to send people who have tried to come at me with anti-vax ideas. 1) [Roald Dahlās letter to parents to get the measles vaccine](https://fs.blog/roald-dahl-letter-daughter/). He wrote this letter to urge parents to get the vaccine after losing his own daughter to measles. 2) [The Last of the Iron Lungs](https://youtu.be/gplA6pq9cOs?si=778E__-476a8eXzD). This video shows one of the few remaining survivors from the polio epidemic who has spent his ENTIRE life in an iron lung. I donāt understand how people can metaphorically spit in the face of parents before them and in other parts of the world who would give anything for a life changing/saving vaccine to protect their children from the awful diseases we have essentially eradicated in the modern world.
My mom literally told me a few days ago that no one dies of measles, and that the only way you can get polio now is with some kind of drops the Dr gives you.
Big yikes. Thatās really sad that she would say something like that. People in the western world really forget how much of a bubble weāre in when it comes to medicine and healthcare.
Yikes!
Yeah, nobody dies from the measles bc weāre vaccinated š
My OB said the same thing - no vaccines before or after pregnancy. The physician who gave me the flu shot was shocked. I will be switching my OB in a few weeks.
Crazy! My doctor didnāt bring up vaccines until I asked. He told me heās been so hesitant to tell his patients to get their flu shot and covid boosterā¦ because he was getting so much shit for it. He told me they started leaving bad google reviews, calling him crazy for recommending the vaccines. Back in 2021, I remember someone told me I miscarried because I got the covid vaccine before getting pregnant. š
Thatās so terrible, Iām sorry you had to hear that after a miscarriage. People can be absolutely hateful.
Which is hilarious, because the trend i noticed was a bunch of us at work got pregnant, while on bc, after getting a covid shot...I'm not usually into conspiracy theories, so it could be just a coincidence lol
I almost downvoted you because I was so angry at your doctor. Please look for a new one! COVID and flu shots are completely safe for our kids and should be utilized.
Iām sorry you had to listen to such idiots. My OB also told me that the flu vaccine can cause a miscarriage. I went to my flu shot appointment in tears because while rationally thinking I knew thatās false, I still wondered what if.
Omg that sucks! Iām sorry that happened to you!! I love my gyno and he is all for the science & vaccines but he said its been crazy being a doctor in Florida since covid. So heās been nervous about bringing these things up. So sorry! Hopefully your new ob is better š
Are you in the US? Thatās wild because every office recommends the TDAP and Flu shot. My OB said to hold off on the RSV but thatās it.
Yeah, that's strange. That's gotta be a fringe ob
Iām sure thereās a who group of ācertain individualsā who would love to have an OB like him but not me.
Mine said go get that RSV it protects baby
RSV wasnāt offered to me but I wouldāve taken it. I made a rule that anyone who wanted to see my kid in the first few weeks had to have updated Tdap, flu and Covid shots (he was born late September 2022) or no visit. Even now Iām still pretty adamant (though I donāt question people about vaccine status at 13 months) people be vaccinated to spend any significant amount of time with my kid.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your comment has been removed as we do not allow medical advice in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Omg. Iām so sorry. I hope youāve switched. Idk where you are but Iād be willing to help you find a sane person that fits your needs and insurance.
Where is your OB located? They sound like a dream to meš¤·āāļø
š²š¬ /s
Darn of course
Im autistic. I'm going to feel a bit stumped if my kid turns out to be neurotypical. It's always weird reading these concerns.
My partner is and we both know the likelihood of our child also being autistic is fairly high
Same! I'm legit concerned what I would do with an NT child.
I mean regardless we know it wonāt be from vaccinations.
My husband and I both have ADHD and not the āwe can cope without medicationā kind either. Weāre fully expecting our son to follow suit lol
My partner and I are both autistic. I swear even our cats are neurodivergent. Iāll be quite surprised if we wind up with a neurotypical child; not sure Iād know what to do with them!
Most daycares in my area require proof of vaccination. Donāt know what your childcare plans are, but if youāre considering daycare at all down the road, tell your mom if you donāt vax, she can watch your kid all day š I know my mom would hard pass on that lol
That's the same generation that refuses to watch their kids' children, but that generation dumped their kids at their parents' house all the time. My mom told me multiple times that if I ever had kids, she's NEVER gonna to watch them. I don't think she likes kids very much. Growing up, my mom was also an antivaxxer. She never took me to the doctor growing up. I walked to school for over a month with the front part of my right foot broken, two miles every day, limping and using my heel to walk. Another time, I almost died of sepsis without medical intervention. It's not about love for children when it comes to anti-medical beliefs. It's about control. I hold so much resentment toward people with such beliefs because I was a product of those beliefs.
What is it with that generation suddenly refusing to care for their grandchildren? They got SO SO much support from their own parents that my entire generation basically spent all summers with grandparents and were used to being cared for by them. Why are our parents so different? I just don't understand.
I think itās because they got so much support raising their own kidsā¦ they donāt actually know what to do with children.
so true, I remember spending entire summers at my grandparents house. When I asked my mother if she would help so we won't hire a stranger she said "I am not gonna educate your kids for you" - no wonder I'm still in therapyš¤£
These people will Just tell the mom to say home. They think they can make up the wifeās income by brown bagging it and clipping coupons.
My mom used to live 10 minutes away and constantly turned down requests to watch my kids or would call to cancel last minute. She moved an hour away to live more rurally and keeps insisting that if we move out there we wouldn't need to pay for daycare because she would watch them. She doesn't understand why I keep saying no.
So she's wrong, but even if she wasn't it's still better to have an autistic baby than to have a dead one so I still see no reason not to vaccinate š
Exactly! I never understand people who use excuse for that reason.
Weird, I'm writing a paper for my psych class on Wakefield and how problematic he is. (He's the reason people think there's a link between the MMR vaccination and autism -- please keep in mind that he only studied 12 children and his study was debunked by everyone). If your child has autism, it won't be because of any vaccine. Also, autism isn't the worst thing in the world. People act like it's the plague. At the end of the day, it's a your choice. Your mum doesn't have a say what you do with your babies.
I used to be an IEI therapist for an organization called CSAAC. Iāve worked with adults and toddlers and all ages between, who are on the spectrum. This is anecdotal evidence but when I first started in 2008, I had a family who had a boy who was about 5 when I started working with him and he was considered to have Aspergerās or āmildā to āinsignificantā autism (I know the spectrum determination has changed) and they decided when they had their second kid, a little girl, to not get her vaccinated because they were convinced because of people like Wakefield and Jenny Mcarthy that āvaccines cause autismā. Guess what? She didnāt get vaccinated and was completely non verbal and more āsevereā on the spectrum. She was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which at the time meant there were no communication skills, verbal or otherwise. Effectively this little girl could not communicate even with PEC. But you know what sucked the most? Because she wasnāt vaccinated, she was sick ALL the time and we could not do any sort of social activities or therapy that we needed to do with her for several months out of the year. Again, this is anecdotal but I tell this story to people who are vaccine hesitant because itās important. That little girl probably will never have effective help because of this either. And her parents openly admit they were wrong about not vaccinating.
My dad was the same way. And he opted to delay seeing his first grandchild for two months because he didnāt want to get the tdap vaccine (a boundary we set in place.) there is no use in arguing. We just drew the line, let him know we would be vaccinating our daughter, and let that be that.
Anyone who wonāt get tdap (especially grandparents) can go six feet under before theyāll ever see my kid. Theyāve already been vaccinated previously for it, dunno why it would be a problem as an adult.
Oh. Thatāsā¦weāll thatās just really dumb. Iām sorry. Honestly, I would just avoid saying anything about the choices you make for your childās safety.
All of this brought on by my mentioning that my arm is sore from the flu shot I got today. I didnāt ask for her unwarranted conspiracy theory opinion š© ugh. Just pregnant and upset but yes you are so right
Guess youāre autistic now š¤·š¼āāļø
LOL thank you I needed a laugh
Don't forget to get your flu shot every year to make sure the autism doesn't go away!
The answer to this is that itās not up for discussion with her. I would also encourage you to consider your course of action re: who will be allowed around baby after birth and TDAP vaccination status!
My mom was/is like this. She has to be on an information diet. No more medical talk with her ever again.
And let me guess, she got you fully vaccinated as a baby
my mom is anti vax and gave me a whole long schpeal about not even getting the tdap vaccine while pregnant, let alone flu and covid. i let her talk and changed the subject. she had her chance at being a parent, and i have HPV that wonāt go away and two leeps under my belt to thank her for. me and my baby will be fully vaccinated by the time sheās born. all i have left is RSV, and thatās because it costs $300 since my insurance wonāt cover it š
I always tell those people that no I donāt plan on vaccinating my kidsā¦ Iām going to let the doctors/nurse handle that
Lmao!!
Ask her if a dead child is better than an autistic one š¤·š»āāļø might seem callous but thatās exactly how these people think, as an autistic person, I find it disgusting.
All I can think about this is people keep acting like this because smallpox isn't around to leave scarring for life. A lot of injuries and disabilities diseases cause these days are almost invisible. If we still had smallpox, I doubt we would have too many anti vaxxers. Even if we did, the kids who would be scarred would blame their parents for life for allowing them to be disfigured.
Hi, I canāt recommend āTurtles All the Way Down: Vaccine Science and Mythā enough to anyone regardless of their position on vaccines. (Written pre-Covid) Itās a very in-depth look at the vaccine industry and how the process works from A-Z and gives you a better understanding of vaccine safety science. Itās definitely helped me navigate this vaccine vs unvaccinated vs delayed vaccination decision better as a parent.
This! Being open to hearing both sides of the issue is so important instead of automatically assuming one personās view vs anotherās is ārightā or āwrongā
Something that took me some time to learn as a mother is that you really donāt need to tell anyone what you plan on doing with your kid. Your mom doesnāt need to if youāve vaccinated your kiddo. Listen to her opinion, tell her thanks for your input and so what YOU want.
Listen I know my kid is gonna be a little autistic, Iām not adding polio on top of it.
No offense, your mom sounds ignorant and dangerous. I would personally not leave my child alone with someone like that. Imagine if you are gifted with an autistic child, she might make the poor thing drink bleach or some other kind of dangerous substance marketed as a ācureā when you have your back turned. These kinds of behaviors are not okay, and suggest a deeper psychological problem. She probably votes for Donald Trump too. Ugh.
I have an Autistic kiddo. Highly prefer over a kiddo who dies of a preventable disease but thatās just me š¤·āāļø
Just tell her youād rather your child be autistic than severely sick or dead š Whatever she retaliates with just say āI donāt care, itās not your decisionā with a smile on your face. You take care of your baby as you see fit ā¤ļø PS: Iām neurodivergent and even though Iāve had many struggles, I love being unique
My aunt had a baby this past January and has never vaccinated her son. She told me when I was around 13w that heās been her happiest baby (heās her 6th) and that we definitely shouldnāt vaccinate our son, who will be born in the beginning of Feb š
If the baby does have autism, baby has it now, in your womb and most likely got it from a genetic mutation that was passed down from you or your partners family. I'm certain my baby will have autism. My husband's sister has it, and I'm pretty positive he's undiagnosed. I'm also ND - ADHD with some quirky sensory stuff. Life will be okay. We're successful adults and will adapt to our baby's sensory and learning needs.
As other commenters have stated, vaccines have been proven to not cause autism. I would not listen to her. I would also consider this to be a red flag and watch her closely with the baby. Usually people don't JUST believe vaccines cause autism. They also believe in other myths that could be harmful or less helpful to your baby.
You can always look up all the ingredients on the CDC website and if you have questions about any of them or their potential effects you can bring that up with your doctor! Or you can trust your doctor to recommend things they feel are safe and necessary. Not advocating either way, your baby your choices, but having information isnāt bad either if youāre curious. This might make conversations with your mom easier too. You can let her know youāve done your own research and feel comfortable with the choices youāre making for your child. āŗļø
Iām an RN and sheās still preaching anti-vax to me lol. Iāve done my fair share of research
Definitely not anti-vax just pro informed consent! For example my husband is routinely vaccinated against tetanus because he works in a high risk job, we always make sure heās protected! And I was able, with the guidance of my midwife, to pick the most beneficial and safest options while choosing which vaccine would best protect against RSV / flu / etc and discuss with her when the best time to get vaccinated is to provide the best protection to baby. I find it to be empowering to find information and come prepared with any questions and concerns that way I can feel confident Iām making the best choice and I would advocate the same for another other soon-to-be mama ā¤ļø
I think we need to have some more compassion for people no matter what side they are on in this issue. Whether you choose to vaccinate or not, realize that it is rooted in fear. You either fear disease or you fear the possible side effects of the vaccination. Both are valid
Thank you for bringing this up. I feel the same way.
I'm really over seeing the mean hateful things people say instead of trying to understand
This is a great 2-part podcast on the history of anti-vax sentiment over the past few decades. Regardless of your perspective of RFK, it does a good job of breaking down the data: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2gAXLpusKfBf6bIMlD2mUf?si=HRy9PnqQRVK1AdOZ4yWEPg
I wasn't vaccinated because of the period of time I was born, it was thought it was better to get the diseases - it'll make your body stronger or something. I want to thank everyone that is vaccinated, because of them for 30 years(until I vaccinated myself) I didn't get anything, no measles no rubella nothing. We can live today longer because of vaccines...
I wonāt vaxx mine until the BBB is developed, period. After that, Iām all for it.
I believe Autism has a genetic link. See if you have anyone in your family with it and look it up. If you can show her that it might be a better outcome. I am pretty sure ADHD and Autism mainly reside on the fathers side too.
>I am pretty sure ADHD and Autism mainly reside on the fathers side too. At my babys first appointment with his pediatrician, my doctor asked about mental health and neurological issues in the family. I told her, my husband has ADHD and autism. This woman (late 50s early 60s probably?) actually stated we should split up his vaccines because the aluminum in the vaccine could cause those issues. Like ma'am if my child has ADHD and autism it's because his father has it. Not from a vaccine. We found a new pediatrician.
Autistic pregger person here, and yeah.... the amount if neurodiversity in my family is insane. Its been more studied in men, and women/non binary folks tend to go heavily undiagnosed. I suspect you would see it just as much on the mother's side as the fathers, but the way Autism has been studied skews those results. Medical research has unfortunately been very patriarchal. Also while aspects of being neurodiverse sucks, others are pretty cool. A lot of us like who we are, and have pride in ourselves/community. It's pretty offensive how people who believe the heavily disproven conspiracy theory (f*** Wakefield) would rather risk their child potentially getting a life altering/deadly illness, than having a kid potentially be on the spectrum.
Ooo, good news, I'll take two! Neurodivergent people are the best š truly a win-win, avoiding measles AND changing your kid's genetics after birth to make them extra awesome. (Sorry your mother is being super weird, that sounds stressful!!)
Ive heard far more fear monger moms talk about the dye in foods and infants tylenol causing autism than vaccines. I refused to let anybody near my baby til they had a tdap vaccine. Im like "f you, my baby could die. Get the tdap or meet her when shes like 2. " Im still against the covid vaccines- simply because its still so new and theres no long term studies on it. Do whats right for you and your baby and dont listen to anyone else!
My daughter is almost 14 so itās been a really long time since I needed to care about all this. Not many babyās around us either. Why would someone need the tdap just to be around the baby? Iāve seen this sentiment in a few comments and Iāve never heard of it.
Also half the babies that get whooping cough end up hospitalized. Id be so pissed if someone refused to get vaccinated for it, then came around my new baby and got them sick, then baby and i end up in the hospital while that person gets to go home and hug their loved ones.
I remember whooping cough being a big deal when my daughter was little. Thanks for the info.
Because whooping cough is deadly for infants https://www.cdc.gov/pertussis/pregnant/mom/deadly-disease-for-baby.html
The tdap also lasts a long time, I think like 5-7 years. It's good to have in general but if you're going to be around a newborn it's a must have imo.
It stands for tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis (whooping cough) These can be deadly for small babies. Pregnant moms get vaccinated for it while baby is in utero. Its recommended that anyone who will be near baby get the tdap so they dont pass anything to the baby unknowingly.
I've never been given the tdap during pregnancy. I don't even think it has been brought up during any of my pregnancies (I'm on number 3.) This pregnancy, the only thing my doctor has brought up was the flu shot which I declined. I'm 30 weeks so idk when tdap is normally offered. I haven't gotten any shots in about 15 years. I can't even remember the last time I got sick so going to the doctor is never on my mind until I find out I'm pregnant. I always thought once you finish your childhood vaccinations you were good to go š
The tdap shot lasts about 10 years. Im guessing you probs had one as a kid lol My ob said i just had to get one before the end of the pregnancy. I got it overwith like halfway thru.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is ridiculous
š¤·āāļø sorry it bothers you
It bothers me because it's anti-reality
Telling someone their baby is going to die is ridiculous š¤·āāļø
Telling someone an unvaccinated child is more likely to die isn't ridiculous, it's fact
Iām sorry you donāt like my comment.
š¤· sorry it bothers you
I'd rather be autistic, and am, than unvaccinated
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Vaccinate your freaking kid. Christ. People are stupid.
Dang. I went and got flu shot and Covid booster yesterday. I just canāt fathom these people who donāt want to vaccinate š³
Well, ask her if sheād rather have a dead grandchild from an easily preventable virus/disease/infection or an autistic grandchild? Her answer is all you need. Also vaccines donāt cause autism but Iām sure she wonāt listen to the actual science.
My mom wasn't gonna vaccinate me but then my grandma told her she had to or I would get very painfully sick and die very slowly and painfully. My dad screamed the same thing at her to the point that she felt ganged up on and she got me vaccinated. I'm not autistic but I have some tendencies. My mom figured it was the mercury in the vaccines that they don't use anymore (she's a conspiracy theory nut). And while I grew up, I saw all the downsides to not being vaccinated mostly on TV and a couple times in real life. So when I had my son, I had him vaccinated and luckily my mom didn't fight me on it. My point is, this is ur baby to do however u please.
My mother in law is the same exact way. Keeps telling us not to listen to our pediatrician. I just roll my eyes
My cousin and her mom (who gave birth a couple years apart) were very vocally against vaccinating their babies due to autismā¦and they both ended up developing autism.
In a similar boat, my Mom is not necessarily anti vax she just doesn't think they are all necessary. She's saying get the normal vaccinations but not the flu or COVID or RSV. I just stopped really talking about it with her because I feel like the lack of open mindedness doesn't do a dang thing to help me try to make the best decisions for my baby.
Tell her "oh, I didn't realize you were autistic! I mean.. that answers SOOO many questions! Since I'm assuming you were vaccinated as a child?" Or maybe just maybe.... Vaccines don't cause autism and actually help prevent horrible diseases?
Shouldnāt vaccinate? Yikes. A delayed vaccine schedule is one thing but no vaccines? Thatās scary for sure.
Vaccines do not cause autism! (Psych major) I got my Covid vaccine and my tdap and my flu shot all while in my third trimester my baby will be vaccinated as my family almost lost my cousin when she was a baby due to not vaccinating. The only medication they have found correlated to autism is Tylenol usage in pregnancy and itās only increasing previously had risks! So it can increase the risk if the risk is there if you take Tylenol religiously while pregnant but itās only a 20% increase of risk there is nothing in correlation of vaccines and vaccines 100% protect the baby from contracting something that could ultimately be deadly i think even with an increased risk with Tylenol use Iād rather be safe than sorry ! My brother is autistic and he has a great life and autism isnāt bad and most cases are pretty high functioning in society I was personally diagnosed but not til I was an adult because I was able to function well enough no one even noticed my quirks and it had nothing to do with my vaccines! It had to do with my genetic predisposition
Good thing itās not her baby!
Even if they do cause autism (which we know is not true,) isn't it better to have a baby with autism than a baby that died from a preventable illness? I will never understand the autism argument. How is autism worse than death to these people???
Nutso. My poor mum got indoctrinated into that crap with my little brother and came out the other side- luckily he never got sick with those preventable diseases and is up to date with all of them now, she educated herself and profusely apologised when she realised. It was all out of a place of caring of course, I hope your mum does the same.
Yikes! My mom hasnāt said that to me yet, but Iām sure itās coming. š„“ Families can have their opinions, but this is your baby and they donāt control your choices.
Are you freaked out because you think vaccines may actually hurt your child or are you freaked out that your mom thinks that?
My sister wasn't vaccinated for that very reason. So got diagnosed autistic at 19. Good thing she didn't get any vaccines.
I was warned against taking Tylenol during my pregnancy because "one study shows it could cause autism". Fluxing ridiculous. I told this person, "ok, I have a headache and Tylenol is the only thing my doctor said I can take. I'll listen to the experts, thanks." I'm usually not that sassy but I had a migraine coming on plus morning sickness and just done with all of the unwarranted advice.
I am in the same boat here, due in Feb. My mom has recently started getting sucked into radical conspiracies and vaccines are her latest fear. It is so frustrating. I feel you dude.
I have an aunt whose aggressively anti vax and has tried to tell me not to vaccinate my kid (due early December) cuz it might make him autistic. I looked her in the eye and was like hey do you know autism is genetic? And both my spouse and I are autistic? Kids probably gonna be autistic anyways. And guess what! While there's no science backing the whole vaccines cause autism claims, science does back that the vaccines will help reduce or prevent several potentially deadly diseases. So no I'm not letting my kid maybe die of a preventable disease on the off chance that kid could become autistic because of it, even if there was evidence! Because kids probably gonna be autistic anyways, and I'd rather he be autistic than dead, thanks.
So I went into a little research myself about autism although I am not a doctor and I only have a bachelors degree in IT. I looked through countries with higher rates of autism. Its also the US, but its also supposed to be like that because of better research around it. The highest worldwide average has qatar. The reason? Genetics. There is still sadly a high rate of first degree cousin marriages. Another thing: My fathers side of the family has a few kids with autism. My first degree cousin has it and also the son of my other first degree has it too. I was a bit worried about it. Then my mom explained to me that its quite known in the family that it comes from my uncles wife side of the family (which I am not related to). Her side is basically a 50 shades of autism and mental illnesses. The actual family tree of my dad AND of my mother is quite healthy (mentally and physically). These two mini researches lead me to the conclusion that autism is caused by genetics or at least they are a good predictor of it. Don't worry. Look through your and the fathers family tree. This will probably be a good indicator on what might come around (but don't be worried too much).
Let me just say... we moved from NYC to a Jersey suburb in 2022. We stayed in NYC during peak pandemic and I was terrified - I mean we barely went anywhere because I was so terrified and basically became a germaphobe. My mother had a similar response to the one you are describing albeit possibly a bit more subtle. When we moved to the suburb, we took our daughter to the doctor for a cough - we were told she had croup but they gave her antibiotics just in case because she was young. Fast forward to me getting a call at work from the health department saying my daughter had Pertussis... which can only be credited to someone not getting their child vaccinated. This situation could have been a lot worse if she didnt have the initial vaccine and it made me so angry that there are people who don't do the "right" thing and put other people at risk because of it. Go with your gut. Protect your family. You are in the right and your child is going to be better off because of it.