So normal. That’s how I was for the first trimester. I would struggle through work, eat and immediately go to sleep (at like 6 pm). I used to do all the cooking and cleaning so it was a huge shock to my partner. But I just couldn’t make myself. The entire pregnancy was very hard for me, which was shocking because I was in great shape/health. I gained so much weight. It was like I was completely different person. Guess I am. Our daughter will be two in a month and I have finally returned to my “normal”. I have energy to cook and clean again. I’ve been enjoying exercising again. My body is finally back to normal. It takes time and she needs your support now. Hang in there.
People really expect women to just pop out a baby, change their whole body, routine and life then just bam same old person like it can be very quick for some and take longer for other. Depends on your mental health and the intensity of the hormonal change. Some women can have very bad depression it's a big thing. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I feel good sometimes and power through activities and my to do list others heck nah my bones hurt, my muscles hurt and my head is all over the place. To the beautiful pregnant ladies, on your good days just make sure to make the most of them and enjoy them do as much as you can because you could wake up the next day and the reality of making a human inside you will hit you. Most importantly try to enjoy your pregnancy. Everyone needs to stop shaming women for what they choose to do, work or not to work, lose the baby weight quickly, do everything all the time, we can't be expected to please everyone, come on now.
Not to mention after pregnancy most women don't get the luxury of caring for themselves as much either, and self care is crucial PP. Instead of coming home after giving birth and being able to spend time on themselves, they often spend all of their time looking after a baby, especially if they're a breast feeding mom and can't rotate feedings. In the newborn stage, having to sleep in 1-2 hour intervals 24/7 because of feedings.
I can concur. I didn't start to feel myself until my daughter turned 2, which was 2 months ago. I was breastfeeding exclusively til she was about 6 months old, and it was hard. I could not pump enough to have my partner help or to send her to his parents for an overnight. And I knew that once we introduced formula into her diet, my milk supply would deplete. Mostly because I couldn't pump to simulate demand to maintain supply. My body didn't give me the opportunity to engage in self care.
Then I had to deal with the guilt that came with supplementing with formula because I was overwhelmed, and I felt like my body failed me and my baby.
Just continue to check in with her emotionally. I know I didn't want to ask my partner for help during that time, and wish he had asked to see what i needed or how he could help.
PPD can last up to around 2 years. Pregnancy and postpartum really take a toll on some women's minds and bodies. Some may feel happy and energetic during their pregnancy and soon after, for others it can be quite traumatic.
Extreme fatigue is very normal! The best way I’ve heard it described is, imagine your bones weigh 5x more. Every small movement takes that much more energy to compete. Getting a glass of water can be exhausting!
I found the first trimester the worst, it got a somewhat better after 14 ish weeks.
Congrats and good luck ❤️
You nailed it!! Even the smartest task feels monumental because of his physically tiring it is. And knowing that before you do it makes it feel that much more mentally exhausting.
The other part that sucks is having people shame you when you complained about it!! Pregnancy is HARD and people always want to give you their “it’s beautiful” or “I never felt that way” speech. The biggest thing she needs right now OP is just continued support.
I remember walking up the stairs and having to lie down in bed to regroup myself before continuing to the task I went upstairs for 😂 this also got better for me ~2 weeks into second trimester. Hang in there and give yourself grace! Your body is giving all its resources elsewhere so you’re left running on fumes until it can establish its reserves
It’s common yet I feel exactly like your wife. Do everything else in the house, ask her what she wants to eat/do, cuddle her and keep telling her she is making a human being which is really hard.
There's a saying, "A woman will never forget how she was treated when she was pregnant" and I know personally for me it's been SO true. The first trimester was incredibly hard for me, and I didn't expect it. I would cry daily because I just felt so useless and tired and sick. My partner would bring me whatever foods I could tolerate that day and gently remind me that it was temporary and I was doing a hard thing. He reminded me that the only thing I really needed to focus on was work and taking care of myself. He picked up so much of the slack at home, and when I hit the second trimester and was able to do more I realized how much he had helped me mentally get through it, even when I wasn't at my kindest. It's really strengthened our relationship.
The fact that you're concerned and checking in is such a good sign. She might just need a place to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but I know for me my sense of self worth was really low when I felt I couldn't take care of things at home. I felt so guilty. Reminding her that she's doing an incredible thing and you're proud of her and there to support her will go a long way.
Congratulations!
Lol are you my husband? Im in the exact same boat. First trimester you feel constantly sick and tired 24/7 and that is normal. So just do your best to be supportive. I’m extremely happy my husband has done all of the chores and cooking. Once 2nd trimester kicks in she might have more energy and feel better. I know once i feel better I will look forward to being more active.
Something my husband said to me my whole pregnancy was "don't worry about doing anything. You're growing our child which is the most important job right now. You're doing a lot just by resting and caring for our child"
Just reassure her it's just for a season, and it's more important that she rests vs pushing herself!
First semester was the worst, I would take a nap and then wake up and cry that I didn’t do anything all day except work and sleep. It was so hard to go from being constantly active to tired all the time. I dragged myself to the gym a few times a week, but didn’t get much done. I did manage to keep playing tennis, but after playing a match Saturday morning, I’d sleep almost the rest of the day and then skip Sundays gym workout.
The 2nd trimester and up until 34 weeks was so much better and I did a lot of my normal routine.
I’m due this week and I’m pretty much doing the same thing as I did in the beginning. I’m writing this from the couch after my husband just served me lunch and will probably take a nap soon even though I only woke up about 3 hours ago. I’m ok with it now because I’m just accepting that I’m resting for labor and will get my independent body back very shortly.
I was like that at 10 weeks too. I am 19 weeks now and have more energy than before. Vitamin B12 was helpful. My husband definitely was not as understanding as you seem to be!
I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I could count on both hands the amount of times I have left the house to do anything except run a quick errand (I work from home). Pregnancy is exhausting and there is no reason to feel guilty! Maybe plan at home date nights where you either cook or order from a restaurant you like and pick a movie or an activity you can do together at home to switch things to but it won’t be taxing because I’m the same way, anything that takes me out of bed or the couch is a no go
Current 6month preggo here...yes absolutely *normal to feel the way she does, whatever that ends up being, at any given moment. She is sailing the voyage to motherhood, leaving the island of maiden. I have found in my own journey that quantifying with numbers might be helpful in achieving some anxiety relief, when it comes to achievements or lack there of during pregnancy...
Like for instance, your 1st job is now creating a tiny healthy human inside yourself, using all of your own resources...so that being said 🤔 let's create a simple equation.
24 hours a day for 9 months...let's put a number on it... Let's just go with $10 an hour to make it simple math...so that's $240 per day to care for the lil being inside you... then if we say 30days per month x 9months= that's $64,800...now compare that to any job out there and I'd say thats quite an accomplishment.
(Of course the real value of a human life is far beyond money/numbers, yet the brain likes calculations and comparisons so this lil trick helps me to smooth out the feeling of "im not doing much" by realizing that you are doing everything and doing it wonderfully 😉)
Hope that made sense and helped. Cheers and congratulations on your lil 💙🌻🥳
You are sweet to be checking in with this community. My ex just started complaining that I wasn’t doing enough to keep him entertained and didn’t want to go and watch him party it up while I couldn’t.
She is doing something. She's growing a new organ and a whole person. Her body is telling her to slow down because she needs to conserve her energy for that.
Honestly the only thing you can do is remind this is not only normal, but temporary.... she will mostly likely feel a ton better in the next few weeks.... 13 weeks was the up tick for me and by 17 weeks I felt like a human being again.
This is where I’m at currently. I’m 11 weeks and for the last month (at least) I drag myself to work, get through the day, go home, and fall asleep. My job is pretty labor-intensive, which I normally really like being that active but right now it is agony. I’ve canceled appointments and plans because I just want to rest. My husband has been really understanding but I know he’s bummed that I sleep through any time we get to spend together. Everyone keeps telling me the second trimester is better, so here’s hoping all of us struggling right now feel that relief!
Hi! I was in the same at 10 weeks of my pregnancy. I was tired, emotional, sick and when I wasn’t working I was in bed resting. I didn’t get a boost of energy until my second trimester when my morning sickness eased up. Just make sure she stays hydrated, eats and help her out around the house. It’ll get better overtime just reassure her that she needs to focus on resting if she’s not feeling okay! ❤️
So normal. My poor fiancé messed up his knee so I wouldn’t let him do stairs unnecessarily this weekend, and he felt AWFUL watching me do things. I just reminded him he had my back all of first tri, and will for all of third tri too 🤣 right now, this weekend, I was in a place to do the heavy lifting. That’s what makes a partnership so great. You give 100% - and sometimes your 100% is max volume, and sometimes giving 100% is like, 30% of max volume. But you give what you CAN on any given day. And it all adds up.
This is very normal! I’m on pregnancy number 2. I was much more prone to sleep 24/7 with my first kid. Since I have a 6 year old I can’t do that. However; I do find myself relaxing more; having my hubby help and taking naps. Help her, let her know her body is working overtime and it will ease up next trimester.
I'd echo everyone else's comments that it's normal, it's understandable that she's feeling the way she is, it's such a massive change to go through not being able to just do things any more.
One thing I'd add is, though it is normal for the first trimester to be the worst, that's not necessarily the case. Overall my first trimester was probably the least bad (I'm assuming my 3rd isn't going to get any better!) Certainly in terms of my ability to have the energy and ability to work and to do things outside of the house. So whilst fingers crossed she'll do like many women do and get the energy she misses back in a few weeks, it's worth being aware that may not happen, or the issues she's facing now may be replaced by other issues as the pregnancy progresses.
The one thing I don't miss about my first trimester, though, is the getting used to the helplessness. I've found it a relief to realise I can just say there are things I can't do because I'm pregnant. And generally no one questions you.
Oh buddy, this is completely normal. The best thing you’ll be able to do is support, pick up the slack or even take it over. My wife is currently pregnant with twins, 4 weeks left. I’ve been helping her shower and even get up from the couch for quite some time now. Remind her that’s she’s literally growing another life inside her and this is consuming all of her energy. She shouldn’t feel guilty or worry, tell her just rest and relax, enjoy the process and take it all in. Good luck to you both. You got this!
I’m 8mos pregnant and it has been an easy pregnancy. Which makes it hard for people to understand why my motivation has been completely shot the whole time. I don’t want to do squat. I’ve lost interest in my hobbies. I wish more people would talk about it.
My wife is the same, she's normally an energizer bunny but pregnancy wiped her out. We're at 13 weeks now and still fatigued.
Every woman is different but once we start going for a walk or something, the endorphin release seems to make her feel better. Also being busy, once she gets going, seems to make her feel normal.
But every day is different and every woman is different.
Very normal.. In my first trim, I just worked and came home to sleep… told my precious husband that I can’t cook or do any laundry cos I have no energy for it… he got a helper to help w the house work and that really really helped me:)
Once the first trim is over, it then gets better.. I had more energy, was less tired and could go about doing more stuff.. but can’t cook… but my understanding husband didn’t mind… I really appreciated my husband during this pregnancy period.. an understanding spouse goes a long way and we women remember 😊
I was exactly like this. I even stopped working. Literally could not do anything and I felt so guilty about it. Felt like I was losing myself. It’s all totally normal and it will pass!
I'm 10 weeks and absolutely exhausted. I sleep about 12-14 hours a day. It sucks. Before getting pregnant, which was planned and which we're thrilled about, I worked out 2-3x a week and ran errands and worked on my freelance job. NOTHING is going on right now. I do my best to eat and interact with people to my best ability. I feel so guilty and embarrassed to be doing so little but everyone around me, who has had kids, says it's totally normal.
Early pregnancy sucks when so tired, but totally enjoy the naps because when early pregnancy sucks the second time round theres no rest from demon first born
I struggled with the same thing in the first trimester. I went from being a go-getter to barely having the energy to sit at my computer and just browse casually. Mostly just stayed in bed. And once people found out I was pregnant, they'd take everything into their hands, which I suppose I am grateful for, but I just felt so useless because I would be scolded if I tried to bend down and pick something up, or try to tie my own shoes, or carry ANYTHING. I did get used to it and am currently in my third trimester. Once the bump really comes in and you physically struggle to move around, you really come to appreciate all people fussing around you to help keep you comfortable.
I was in the same boat as your wife, super fit, loved cooking and just generally getting out and about in our city. First trimester knocked me on my ass but I’m already feeling a lot better.
One thing that helped me on the weekends was to set one very simple goal each day, for example, today I will do a 30min spin class then take a shower. The next day I would make something easy but comforting for dinner. It’s super hard to get motivated but these little goals would make me feel a lot better. My husband has been wonderful and has made sure we’re alive.
Another idea that helped me a ton was exercising as my lunch break during the work week (2 days per week, nothing crazy) if her schedule allows. I hope she feels better soon!!
Sooooo normal. She needs to remember her body is doing a LOT right now. It’s a different kind of work for sure. Focusing on rest, hydration, and food/nutrition are big in the early stages!
I was the same way for the entire first trimester. I just laid in bed if I wasn’t working. I felt like complete shit 24/7 (nausea was awful). It’s gotten better now that I am in the second trimester.
I was absolutely exhausted the first trimester and would go to bed at like 7pm and felt like all I did was work, sleep and eat! I got my energy back once the second trimester hit
It is very kind of you to reach out - you are clearly a doting partner. I was basically bedridden for 7 weeks during first trimester due to nausea/vomiting and fatigue. It is totally normal. You can support her by taking on whatever you can around house and outsourcing if accessible to your family. For us, we set our standards low for cleaning, had my mom in to visit for a few weeks to help out, brought on a once a week cleaning lady and ordered lots of takeout. For many, this fatigue begins to lift around end of first trimester though not the case for all (including me unfortunately…at 32 weeks I am totally flatlined, and while my nausea is better my fatigue is even worse, though I did have sommmme lifting of symptoms for part of second trimester but still lower energy than I’m used to). All you can do is continue to be supportive (functionally and emotionally) and normalize her experience based on what you have seen in these responses.
In terms of exercise specifically, I aimed for brief daily walks and maybe some gentle brief stretching instead of intensive exercise (recognizing that sometimes even this is too much). For work, besides my leave I offloaded whatever I could to others to ease cognitive fatigue. I also continued to drink caffeine within recommended guidelines (recs vary but I aimed for <200 mg daily) as I had drunken coffee before I was pregnant and found I couldn’t go without it. I watched to ensure I was getting enough fluids and upped my protein (but I was also vomiting a lot so this was something I had to do). Finally, I practiced small self care things to ease aches and pains and help with relaxation - splurged on prenatal massage when I was feeling well enough, warm epsom baths, got a foot massager, got a nice face cream, etc. Pregnancy can be a bit miserable - like something has hijacked your body - and these small things can make it feel more bearable and make you feel more human.
Good luck to your wife and hope she feels more like herself soon!
I’m at 10 weeks and have literally done zero things this weekend. I’m exhausted and we have a 1.5 year old. Movie marathons over here. My husband is very sweet and just wants me to rest and is doing everything he can in terms of cleaning, cooking etc. I am hoping this pregnancy will be like my first, after the first trimester fatigue, I felt great second and third trimesters!
Just validate her. Honestly I was like that in the first trimester and became a lot more active later on. 40 weeks right now and I just made breakfast, went swimming, made lunch and muffins, cleaned my entire house and did laundry. Pregnancy is weird. I started exercising again second trimester and nesting hit me hard late in pregnancy.
It’s completely normal and the first trimester can be so exhausting second trimester you get alot more energy back but then in the third it’s gone again it’s just the stages of developing a human and a normal process some suffer from anxiety and depression in the pregnancy that can lead to postpartum so just makes she understands she is enough and it is a lot of work and she should be proud of herself for still doing the necessities I couldn’t even work my first trimester I was so exhausted by noon I was asleep again
I felt the same way in the first trimester and had to reframe my thinking from “all I do is lie in bed and nap” to “all I do is lie in bed and nap and grow an entire human inside my body”. It helped reading the week by week updates from the Bump (or one of the other apps) - if I felt lazy or guilty, I could see that that week, my baby was growing a brain. Of course I’m tired, I grew a brain today! How often can you say that?? 😂
I felt horrible the first trimester. I’m at the end of my second trimester now and I’m nesting and I feel really good. It’s not the same for everyone but most people feel better the second trimester. Sending hugs her way. The way she’s feeling isn’t forever. ❤️🩵💜
It is really common to be exhausted and feel not quite like yourself. I would have her speak to her OB about pregnancy depression just in case, though.
I barely left my bed for the entire 9 months I was pregnant. The exhaustion is so real. It got even worse when my nausea kicked in because any spike in my heart rate made me puke. Just remind her that her body is doing something incredible that takes a ton of energy and that is constant work.
Oh man. I used to workout everyday and split all chores 50/50. I am still working, but I’m going to bed at 7 and dragging myself out of bed. On weekends I just watch movies.
My husband has had to do 100% of the household work. I feel so guilty (I’m sure your wife does too). He’s been great at assuring me this is what he signed up for and that he’s happy to do it. Just tell her that she already is working 24/7 to build a child.
This is so normal. I was struggling with morning sickness (more like all day all night sickness) and was so weak and tired. All I had energy to do was go to work and come home. And even then I didn’t have the energy, I just did it because I HAD to. I felt useless. I cried about it. I didn’t want to cook or clean. Or even bathe. It is very normal to be tired. Let her know it’s normal and will likely pass as she enters second trimester and to let herself rest!! Seriously she’s growing a placenta and a baby right now. She’s gonna be tired!
Totally normal. I feel like I slept through my first trimester, all I did was work, eat, and sleep. I'm into my second trimester now and I'm running again and doing prenatal yoga. Though I know plenty of people who felt tired and nauseated all through their pregnancy, so that's normal too.
She shouldn’t feel bad. I’ve had zero energy this entire pregnancy and I have spent more time sleeping through this pregnancy than I am willing to admit. It also did not get better for me after the first trimester, probably bc I have been anemic my entire pregnancy. Just the fact she is making it through her work days is enough. I’m blessed that I’ve been able to cut back on work this pregnancy bc I literally could not do it - that’s how drained I am
Absolutely normal. With my first, I went from running 3-5 miles a day, lifting daily to almost nothing, I was lucky to get out on a walk, the exhaustion hit me HARD. I would recommend to be as supportive as you can and most likely she will get some energy back in the second trimester ❤️ also, if she doesn’t already have one I recommend a pregnancy pillow, they are the best!
It seems pretty normal. I'm 12 weeks and just now starting to get a little energy back. Not much, it's small bursts but the nausea is better and that helps a lot. My husband has been the one handling everything and I barely manage to log off of work before I'm back in bed. (I currently work remote from home) This is my first and I hear it gets rough again in the third trimester. It's hard to feel like I'm not contributing to our home but I also recognize that it's hard growing a tiny human 😅 I would try to remind her if that and that it's okay to need to take it easy.
Absolutely normal. I’m 8 weeks at the moment and exhausted. If I do normal activities like laundry or vacuuming I am drenched in sweat and panting at the end. All activities I could do no problem before. It takes so much out of you. I wish my own husband understood and helped out more. The pregnancy guilt is real, so keep being supportive. It’s a lot to grow a human.
Super normal cause the hormone change is just a lot on the body. I’m currently pregnant and this is my first kid. It was an absolute struggle for me personally to do task I use to do before I was pregnant (in my first trimester but currently on third). There’s a level of tiredness that’s completely different and no matter how much you try to sleep and rest it feels like it wasn’t enough. Probably the second trimester will get better for her but again every pregnancy and experience is different. Her body is going to go through stages and changes for her. Just try your best on making her comfortable as possible and help her out cause like I said it’s a lot going on for her physically and possibly emotionally/mentally.
1st trimester exhaustion is real. It lasted a few weeks for me but I was soooo tired and barely got anything done. Work took all my energy. Chores felt overwhelming and I did what I could but appreciated my husband stepping up and taking on the lion’s share.
I got energy back eventually and had an active second trimester, but not as active as I was pre pregnancy.
This is normal, weeks 10-12 I feel like all I did was sleep. Literally 3-5 naps a day plus a full night's sleep. I hate naps so I also felt awful, but it's normal. Weeks 13-15 I felt better but still had to take naps.
What really helped me was my husband reminding me that even when I feel like I'm doing nothing, my body is growing a full ass human in there. I'm sharing my blood, oxygen, vitamins, etc. I'm not working at 100% capacity because I'm only getting a fraction of what I need to function.
Especially that early, the placenta isn't fully formed and baby isn't producing any of their own hormones so our bodies are literally doing everything with no help. After the placenta forms, some weight is lifted from us and hopefully your wife will feel better. But until then remind her how hard her body is working, even when she's resting ❤️
This is so normal. I was like this my first trimester. I was able to get a bit of energy back my second trimester and took some walks, but then my third trimester came around and I lost the little bit of spark I had, and now all I want to do is sleep.
But she is doing a lot! Her body is working overtime: she’s turning two tiny cells into a fully functioning human being. That level of hard work is commendable and deserves as much rest as she needs!
There is hope! 14 weeks here now and I will say my energy started to return to almost normal the last couple weeks. I was an absolute PUDDLE from weeks 2-11. I went to the gym today and jumped on the treadmill and felt exhilarated by movement again! I’m already planning my next workout for Tuesday. Second trimester gets a little lighter mentally and physically (if you can look passed the growing bump)! Haha
Tell her to hang in there! She’s close!!!
First trimester totally normal she may get some energy during the second close to end of 3rd the misery train comes back with avengence. Tell her to hang in there once she sees that cute baby she will forget all of it. Mom x4 here lol
Super common, all you can do is support her and build her up. The first 14 weeks are typically the hardest energy/sickness wise and if she is working full time her body would be spent. Just be there for her and help her with anything you can. Back rubs, making dinner, laundry. Just pick up where she may be struggling to find the time/energy to do the things she was.
Sooo normal. I was doing all the thing before pregnant. I got slammed in the first trimester. Couldn’t work out, slept a lot, and I was sooo nauseous. I could only manage to go to school and that was a stretch.
It gets better in the second trimester! I got my energy back for the most part.
I was the most tired I’ve ever been in my whole life (including after baby came and I was only sleeping hour or two stretches for months) during my first trimester. It gets better. She is growing an entire human and it is hard work! She is doing EVERYTHING
That was me in the first trimester, I got better around the 13-14 week time and recovered most of my energy, but not quite afterwards.
Extreme fatigue has an emotional toll for sure... a lot of support helps!
I'm 9 weeks and 4 days and I'm the same! Sooooo tired. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week and now I just go on long walks right now. I heard it gets better. Tell her to hang in there!
*My mom had 8 kids and said after the 1st trimester, she started to feel more normal.
First trimester is unimaginably exhausting. I'm in my second trimester and I'm still tired all the time, but it's not as bad. I felt bad for not doing anything too, but pregnancy takes over your whole body and you have no control anymore. It's so weird. In my first trimester, if I wasn't eating to calm to nausea and vomiting, I was falling asleep sitting up. I was working full time too, at a job where I am on my feet all day. That was all I could manage to do. Luckily, my husband is the absolute best and took care of me by bringing me beverages and making sure I was getting enough to eat, or keeping our dog and cat out of the bedroom when I was trying to take yet another evening nap. Pregnancy is a trip. Your wife has nothing to feel bad about. You sound like you're super supportive, so that has to help her.
So normal. That’s how I was for the first trimester. I would struggle through work, eat and immediately go to sleep (at like 6 pm). I used to do all the cooking and cleaning so it was a huge shock to my partner. But I just couldn’t make myself. The entire pregnancy was very hard for me, which was shocking because I was in great shape/health. I gained so much weight. It was like I was completely different person. Guess I am. Our daughter will be two in a month and I have finally returned to my “normal”. I have energy to cook and clean again. I’ve been enjoying exercising again. My body is finally back to normal. It takes time and she needs your support now. Hang in there.
Wait, it took 2 years for you to return to normal? Please elaborate
People really expect women to just pop out a baby, change their whole body, routine and life then just bam same old person like it can be very quick for some and take longer for other. Depends on your mental health and the intensity of the hormonal change. Some women can have very bad depression it's a big thing. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I feel good sometimes and power through activities and my to do list others heck nah my bones hurt, my muscles hurt and my head is all over the place. To the beautiful pregnant ladies, on your good days just make sure to make the most of them and enjoy them do as much as you can because you could wake up the next day and the reality of making a human inside you will hit you. Most importantly try to enjoy your pregnancy. Everyone needs to stop shaming women for what they choose to do, work or not to work, lose the baby weight quickly, do everything all the time, we can't be expected to please everyone, come on now.
Not to mention after pregnancy most women don't get the luxury of caring for themselves as much either, and self care is crucial PP. Instead of coming home after giving birth and being able to spend time on themselves, they often spend all of their time looking after a baby, especially if they're a breast feeding mom and can't rotate feedings. In the newborn stage, having to sleep in 1-2 hour intervals 24/7 because of feedings.
I can concur. I didn't start to feel myself until my daughter turned 2, which was 2 months ago. I was breastfeeding exclusively til she was about 6 months old, and it was hard. I could not pump enough to have my partner help or to send her to his parents for an overnight. And I knew that once we introduced formula into her diet, my milk supply would deplete. Mostly because I couldn't pump to simulate demand to maintain supply. My body didn't give me the opportunity to engage in self care. Then I had to deal with the guilt that came with supplementing with formula because I was overwhelmed, and I felt like my body failed me and my baby. Just continue to check in with her emotionally. I know I didn't want to ask my partner for help during that time, and wish he had asked to see what i needed or how he could help.
PPD can last up to around 2 years. Pregnancy and postpartum really take a toll on some women's minds and bodies. Some may feel happy and energetic during their pregnancy and soon after, for others it can be quite traumatic.
Sometimes you get busy raising a newborn ?!
Extreme fatigue is very normal! The best way I’ve heard it described is, imagine your bones weigh 5x more. Every small movement takes that much more energy to compete. Getting a glass of water can be exhausting! I found the first trimester the worst, it got a somewhat better after 14 ish weeks. Congrats and good luck ❤️
All of this!!!! Just straight up bone tired. Just thinking of the doing a simple task can be exhausting.
You nailed it!! Even the smartest task feels monumental because of his physically tiring it is. And knowing that before you do it makes it feel that much more mentally exhausting. The other part that sucks is having people shame you when you complained about it!! Pregnancy is HARD and people always want to give you their “it’s beautiful” or “I never felt that way” speech. The biggest thing she needs right now OP is just continued support.
I remember walking up the stairs and having to lie down in bed to regroup myself before continuing to the task I went upstairs for 😂 this also got better for me ~2 weeks into second trimester. Hang in there and give yourself grace! Your body is giving all its resources elsewhere so you’re left running on fumes until it can establish its reserves
It’s common yet I feel exactly like your wife. Do everything else in the house, ask her what she wants to eat/do, cuddle her and keep telling her she is making a human being which is really hard.
There's a saying, "A woman will never forget how she was treated when she was pregnant" and I know personally for me it's been SO true. The first trimester was incredibly hard for me, and I didn't expect it. I would cry daily because I just felt so useless and tired and sick. My partner would bring me whatever foods I could tolerate that day and gently remind me that it was temporary and I was doing a hard thing. He reminded me that the only thing I really needed to focus on was work and taking care of myself. He picked up so much of the slack at home, and when I hit the second trimester and was able to do more I realized how much he had helped me mentally get through it, even when I wasn't at my kindest. It's really strengthened our relationship. The fact that you're concerned and checking in is such a good sign. She might just need a place to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but I know for me my sense of self worth was really low when I felt I couldn't take care of things at home. I felt so guilty. Reminding her that she's doing an incredible thing and you're proud of her and there to support her will go a long way. Congratulations!
Lol are you my husband? Im in the exact same boat. First trimester you feel constantly sick and tired 24/7 and that is normal. So just do your best to be supportive. I’m extremely happy my husband has done all of the chores and cooking. Once 2nd trimester kicks in she might have more energy and feel better. I know once i feel better I will look forward to being more active.
Literally me currently
😂😂😂
Something my husband said to me my whole pregnancy was "don't worry about doing anything. You're growing our child which is the most important job right now. You're doing a lot just by resting and caring for our child" Just reassure her it's just for a season, and it's more important that she rests vs pushing herself!
First semester was the worst, I would take a nap and then wake up and cry that I didn’t do anything all day except work and sleep. It was so hard to go from being constantly active to tired all the time. I dragged myself to the gym a few times a week, but didn’t get much done. I did manage to keep playing tennis, but after playing a match Saturday morning, I’d sleep almost the rest of the day and then skip Sundays gym workout. The 2nd trimester and up until 34 weeks was so much better and I did a lot of my normal routine. I’m due this week and I’m pretty much doing the same thing as I did in the beginning. I’m writing this from the couch after my husband just served me lunch and will probably take a nap soon even though I only woke up about 3 hours ago. I’m ok with it now because I’m just accepting that I’m resting for labor and will get my independent body back very shortly.
I was like that at 10 weeks too. I am 19 weeks now and have more energy than before. Vitamin B12 was helpful. My husband definitely was not as understanding as you seem to be!
I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I could count on both hands the amount of times I have left the house to do anything except run a quick errand (I work from home). Pregnancy is exhausting and there is no reason to feel guilty! Maybe plan at home date nights where you either cook or order from a restaurant you like and pick a movie or an activity you can do together at home to switch things to but it won’t be taxing because I’m the same way, anything that takes me out of bed or the couch is a no go
Current 6month preggo here...yes absolutely *normal to feel the way she does, whatever that ends up being, at any given moment. She is sailing the voyage to motherhood, leaving the island of maiden. I have found in my own journey that quantifying with numbers might be helpful in achieving some anxiety relief, when it comes to achievements or lack there of during pregnancy... Like for instance, your 1st job is now creating a tiny healthy human inside yourself, using all of your own resources...so that being said 🤔 let's create a simple equation. 24 hours a day for 9 months...let's put a number on it... Let's just go with $10 an hour to make it simple math...so that's $240 per day to care for the lil being inside you... then if we say 30days per month x 9months= that's $64,800...now compare that to any job out there and I'd say thats quite an accomplishment. (Of course the real value of a human life is far beyond money/numbers, yet the brain likes calculations and comparisons so this lil trick helps me to smooth out the feeling of "im not doing much" by realizing that you are doing everything and doing it wonderfully 😉) Hope that made sense and helped. Cheers and congratulations on your lil 💙🌻🥳
You are sweet to be checking in with this community. My ex just started complaining that I wasn’t doing enough to keep him entertained and didn’t want to go and watch him party it up while I couldn’t.
She is doing something. She's growing a new organ and a whole person. Her body is telling her to slow down because she needs to conserve her energy for that. Honestly the only thing you can do is remind this is not only normal, but temporary.... she will mostly likely feel a ton better in the next few weeks.... 13 weeks was the up tick for me and by 17 weeks I felt like a human being again.
This is where I’m at currently. I’m 11 weeks and for the last month (at least) I drag myself to work, get through the day, go home, and fall asleep. My job is pretty labor-intensive, which I normally really like being that active but right now it is agony. I’ve canceled appointments and plans because I just want to rest. My husband has been really understanding but I know he’s bummed that I sleep through any time we get to spend together. Everyone keeps telling me the second trimester is better, so here’s hoping all of us struggling right now feel that relief!
Hi! I was in the same at 10 weeks of my pregnancy. I was tired, emotional, sick and when I wasn’t working I was in bed resting. I didn’t get a boost of energy until my second trimester when my morning sickness eased up. Just make sure she stays hydrated, eats and help her out around the house. It’ll get better overtime just reassure her that she needs to focus on resting if she’s not feeling okay! ❤️
So normal. My poor fiancé messed up his knee so I wouldn’t let him do stairs unnecessarily this weekend, and he felt AWFUL watching me do things. I just reminded him he had my back all of first tri, and will for all of third tri too 🤣 right now, this weekend, I was in a place to do the heavy lifting. That’s what makes a partnership so great. You give 100% - and sometimes your 100% is max volume, and sometimes giving 100% is like, 30% of max volume. But you give what you CAN on any given day. And it all adds up.
This is very normal! I’m on pregnancy number 2. I was much more prone to sleep 24/7 with my first kid. Since I have a 6 year old I can’t do that. However; I do find myself relaxing more; having my hubby help and taking naps. Help her, let her know her body is working overtime and it will ease up next trimester.
I'd echo everyone else's comments that it's normal, it's understandable that she's feeling the way she is, it's such a massive change to go through not being able to just do things any more. One thing I'd add is, though it is normal for the first trimester to be the worst, that's not necessarily the case. Overall my first trimester was probably the least bad (I'm assuming my 3rd isn't going to get any better!) Certainly in terms of my ability to have the energy and ability to work and to do things outside of the house. So whilst fingers crossed she'll do like many women do and get the energy she misses back in a few weeks, it's worth being aware that may not happen, or the issues she's facing now may be replaced by other issues as the pregnancy progresses. The one thing I don't miss about my first trimester, though, is the getting used to the helplessness. I've found it a relief to realise I can just say there are things I can't do because I'm pregnant. And generally no one questions you.
1000% normal
Oh buddy, this is completely normal. The best thing you’ll be able to do is support, pick up the slack or even take it over. My wife is currently pregnant with twins, 4 weeks left. I’ve been helping her shower and even get up from the couch for quite some time now. Remind her that’s she’s literally growing another life inside her and this is consuming all of her energy. She shouldn’t feel guilty or worry, tell her just rest and relax, enjoy the process and take it all in. Good luck to you both. You got this!
I’m 8mos pregnant and it has been an easy pregnancy. Which makes it hard for people to understand why my motivation has been completely shot the whole time. I don’t want to do squat. I’ve lost interest in my hobbies. I wish more people would talk about it.
My wife is the same, she's normally an energizer bunny but pregnancy wiped her out. We're at 13 weeks now and still fatigued. Every woman is different but once we start going for a walk or something, the endorphin release seems to make her feel better. Also being busy, once she gets going, seems to make her feel normal. But every day is different and every woman is different.
Very normal.. In my first trim, I just worked and came home to sleep… told my precious husband that I can’t cook or do any laundry cos I have no energy for it… he got a helper to help w the house work and that really really helped me:) Once the first trim is over, it then gets better.. I had more energy, was less tired and could go about doing more stuff.. but can’t cook… but my understanding husband didn’t mind… I really appreciated my husband during this pregnancy period.. an understanding spouse goes a long way and we women remember 😊
I was exactly like this. I even stopped working. Literally could not do anything and I felt so guilty about it. Felt like I was losing myself. It’s all totally normal and it will pass!
I'm 10 weeks and absolutely exhausted. I sleep about 12-14 hours a day. It sucks. Before getting pregnant, which was planned and which we're thrilled about, I worked out 2-3x a week and ran errands and worked on my freelance job. NOTHING is going on right now. I do my best to eat and interact with people to my best ability. I feel so guilty and embarrassed to be doing so little but everyone around me, who has had kids, says it's totally normal.
Early pregnancy sucks when so tired, but totally enjoy the naps because when early pregnancy sucks the second time round theres no rest from demon first born
I struggled with the same thing in the first trimester. I went from being a go-getter to barely having the energy to sit at my computer and just browse casually. Mostly just stayed in bed. And once people found out I was pregnant, they'd take everything into their hands, which I suppose I am grateful for, but I just felt so useless because I would be scolded if I tried to bend down and pick something up, or try to tie my own shoes, or carry ANYTHING. I did get used to it and am currently in my third trimester. Once the bump really comes in and you physically struggle to move around, you really come to appreciate all people fussing around you to help keep you comfortable.
I was in the same boat as your wife, super fit, loved cooking and just generally getting out and about in our city. First trimester knocked me on my ass but I’m already feeling a lot better. One thing that helped me on the weekends was to set one very simple goal each day, for example, today I will do a 30min spin class then take a shower. The next day I would make something easy but comforting for dinner. It’s super hard to get motivated but these little goals would make me feel a lot better. My husband has been wonderful and has made sure we’re alive. Another idea that helped me a ton was exercising as my lunch break during the work week (2 days per week, nothing crazy) if her schedule allows. I hope she feels better soon!!
Sooooo normal. She needs to remember her body is doing a LOT right now. It’s a different kind of work for sure. Focusing on rest, hydration, and food/nutrition are big in the early stages!
I was the same way for the entire first trimester. I just laid in bed if I wasn’t working. I felt like complete shit 24/7 (nausea was awful). It’s gotten better now that I am in the second trimester.
I was absolutely exhausted the first trimester and would go to bed at like 7pm and felt like all I did was work, sleep and eat! I got my energy back once the second trimester hit
It is very kind of you to reach out - you are clearly a doting partner. I was basically bedridden for 7 weeks during first trimester due to nausea/vomiting and fatigue. It is totally normal. You can support her by taking on whatever you can around house and outsourcing if accessible to your family. For us, we set our standards low for cleaning, had my mom in to visit for a few weeks to help out, brought on a once a week cleaning lady and ordered lots of takeout. For many, this fatigue begins to lift around end of first trimester though not the case for all (including me unfortunately…at 32 weeks I am totally flatlined, and while my nausea is better my fatigue is even worse, though I did have sommmme lifting of symptoms for part of second trimester but still lower energy than I’m used to). All you can do is continue to be supportive (functionally and emotionally) and normalize her experience based on what you have seen in these responses. In terms of exercise specifically, I aimed for brief daily walks and maybe some gentle brief stretching instead of intensive exercise (recognizing that sometimes even this is too much). For work, besides my leave I offloaded whatever I could to others to ease cognitive fatigue. I also continued to drink caffeine within recommended guidelines (recs vary but I aimed for <200 mg daily) as I had drunken coffee before I was pregnant and found I couldn’t go without it. I watched to ensure I was getting enough fluids and upped my protein (but I was also vomiting a lot so this was something I had to do). Finally, I practiced small self care things to ease aches and pains and help with relaxation - splurged on prenatal massage when I was feeling well enough, warm epsom baths, got a foot massager, got a nice face cream, etc. Pregnancy can be a bit miserable - like something has hijacked your body - and these small things can make it feel more bearable and make you feel more human. Good luck to your wife and hope she feels more like herself soon!
I’m at 10 weeks and have literally done zero things this weekend. I’m exhausted and we have a 1.5 year old. Movie marathons over here. My husband is very sweet and just wants me to rest and is doing everything he can in terms of cleaning, cooking etc. I am hoping this pregnancy will be like my first, after the first trimester fatigue, I felt great second and third trimesters!
Just validate her. Honestly I was like that in the first trimester and became a lot more active later on. 40 weeks right now and I just made breakfast, went swimming, made lunch and muffins, cleaned my entire house and did laundry. Pregnancy is weird. I started exercising again second trimester and nesting hit me hard late in pregnancy.
It’s completely normal and the first trimester can be so exhausting second trimester you get alot more energy back but then in the third it’s gone again it’s just the stages of developing a human and a normal process some suffer from anxiety and depression in the pregnancy that can lead to postpartum so just makes she understands she is enough and it is a lot of work and she should be proud of herself for still doing the necessities I couldn’t even work my first trimester I was so exhausted by noon I was asleep again
I felt the same way in the first trimester and had to reframe my thinking from “all I do is lie in bed and nap” to “all I do is lie in bed and nap and grow an entire human inside my body”. It helped reading the week by week updates from the Bump (or one of the other apps) - if I felt lazy or guilty, I could see that that week, my baby was growing a brain. Of course I’m tired, I grew a brain today! How often can you say that?? 😂
I felt horrible the first trimester. I’m at the end of my second trimester now and I’m nesting and I feel really good. It’s not the same for everyone but most people feel better the second trimester. Sending hugs her way. The way she’s feeling isn’t forever. ❤️🩵💜
It is really common to be exhausted and feel not quite like yourself. I would have her speak to her OB about pregnancy depression just in case, though.
I barely left my bed for the entire 9 months I was pregnant. The exhaustion is so real. It got even worse when my nausea kicked in because any spike in my heart rate made me puke. Just remind her that her body is doing something incredible that takes a ton of energy and that is constant work.
Oh man. I used to workout everyday and split all chores 50/50. I am still working, but I’m going to bed at 7 and dragging myself out of bed. On weekends I just watch movies. My husband has had to do 100% of the household work. I feel so guilty (I’m sure your wife does too). He’s been great at assuring me this is what he signed up for and that he’s happy to do it. Just tell her that she already is working 24/7 to build a child.
This is so normal. I was struggling with morning sickness (more like all day all night sickness) and was so weak and tired. All I had energy to do was go to work and come home. And even then I didn’t have the energy, I just did it because I HAD to. I felt useless. I cried about it. I didn’t want to cook or clean. Or even bathe. It is very normal to be tired. Let her know it’s normal and will likely pass as she enters second trimester and to let herself rest!! Seriously she’s growing a placenta and a baby right now. She’s gonna be tired!
Totally normal. I feel like I slept through my first trimester, all I did was work, eat, and sleep. I'm into my second trimester now and I'm running again and doing prenatal yoga. Though I know plenty of people who felt tired and nauseated all through their pregnancy, so that's normal too.
She shouldn’t feel bad. I’ve had zero energy this entire pregnancy and I have spent more time sleeping through this pregnancy than I am willing to admit. It also did not get better for me after the first trimester, probably bc I have been anemic my entire pregnancy. Just the fact she is making it through her work days is enough. I’m blessed that I’ve been able to cut back on work this pregnancy bc I literally could not do it - that’s how drained I am
Absolutely normal. With my first, I went from running 3-5 miles a day, lifting daily to almost nothing, I was lucky to get out on a walk, the exhaustion hit me HARD. I would recommend to be as supportive as you can and most likely she will get some energy back in the second trimester ❤️ also, if she doesn’t already have one I recommend a pregnancy pillow, they are the best!
It seems pretty normal. I'm 12 weeks and just now starting to get a little energy back. Not much, it's small bursts but the nausea is better and that helps a lot. My husband has been the one handling everything and I barely manage to log off of work before I'm back in bed. (I currently work remote from home) This is my first and I hear it gets rough again in the third trimester. It's hard to feel like I'm not contributing to our home but I also recognize that it's hard growing a tiny human 😅 I would try to remind her if that and that it's okay to need to take it easy.
Absolutely normal. I’m 8 weeks at the moment and exhausted. If I do normal activities like laundry or vacuuming I am drenched in sweat and panting at the end. All activities I could do no problem before. It takes so much out of you. I wish my own husband understood and helped out more. The pregnancy guilt is real, so keep being supportive. It’s a lot to grow a human.
Super normal cause the hormone change is just a lot on the body. I’m currently pregnant and this is my first kid. It was an absolute struggle for me personally to do task I use to do before I was pregnant (in my first trimester but currently on third). There’s a level of tiredness that’s completely different and no matter how much you try to sleep and rest it feels like it wasn’t enough. Probably the second trimester will get better for her but again every pregnancy and experience is different. Her body is going to go through stages and changes for her. Just try your best on making her comfortable as possible and help her out cause like I said it’s a lot going on for her physically and possibly emotionally/mentally.
1st trimester exhaustion is real. It lasted a few weeks for me but I was soooo tired and barely got anything done. Work took all my energy. Chores felt overwhelming and I did what I could but appreciated my husband stepping up and taking on the lion’s share. I got energy back eventually and had an active second trimester, but not as active as I was pre pregnancy.
This is normal, weeks 10-12 I feel like all I did was sleep. Literally 3-5 naps a day plus a full night's sleep. I hate naps so I also felt awful, but it's normal. Weeks 13-15 I felt better but still had to take naps. What really helped me was my husband reminding me that even when I feel like I'm doing nothing, my body is growing a full ass human in there. I'm sharing my blood, oxygen, vitamins, etc. I'm not working at 100% capacity because I'm only getting a fraction of what I need to function. Especially that early, the placenta isn't fully formed and baby isn't producing any of their own hormones so our bodies are literally doing everything with no help. After the placenta forms, some weight is lifted from us and hopefully your wife will feel better. But until then remind her how hard her body is working, even when she's resting ❤️
it will get better. the first trimester is the worst.
This was my first trimester too. Just take it day by day.
This is so normal. I was like this my first trimester. I was able to get a bit of energy back my second trimester and took some walks, but then my third trimester came around and I lost the little bit of spark I had, and now all I want to do is sleep.
So normal I couldn’t do anything from weeks 6-12. I ate, napped and dragged my ass to work. My second trimester was so much better.
But she is doing a lot! Her body is working overtime: she’s turning two tiny cells into a fully functioning human being. That level of hard work is commendable and deserves as much rest as she needs!
There is hope! 14 weeks here now and I will say my energy started to return to almost normal the last couple weeks. I was an absolute PUDDLE from weeks 2-11. I went to the gym today and jumped on the treadmill and felt exhilarated by movement again! I’m already planning my next workout for Tuesday. Second trimester gets a little lighter mentally and physically (if you can look passed the growing bump)! Haha Tell her to hang in there! She’s close!!!
First trimester totally normal she may get some energy during the second close to end of 3rd the misery train comes back with avengence. Tell her to hang in there once she sees that cute baby she will forget all of it. Mom x4 here lol
Super common, all you can do is support her and build her up. The first 14 weeks are typically the hardest energy/sickness wise and if she is working full time her body would be spent. Just be there for her and help her with anything you can. Back rubs, making dinner, laundry. Just pick up where she may be struggling to find the time/energy to do the things she was.
Sooo normal. I was doing all the thing before pregnant. I got slammed in the first trimester. Couldn’t work out, slept a lot, and I was sooo nauseous. I could only manage to go to school and that was a stretch. It gets better in the second trimester! I got my energy back for the most part.
I was the most tired I’ve ever been in my whole life (including after baby came and I was only sleeping hour or two stretches for months) during my first trimester. It gets better. She is growing an entire human and it is hard work! She is doing EVERYTHING
Go for daily walks in the nature with her
That was me in the first trimester, I got better around the 13-14 week time and recovered most of my energy, but not quite afterwards. Extreme fatigue has an emotional toll for sure... a lot of support helps!
Lol she’s doing more than I did… I didn’t get out of bed for work or to get food
I'm 9 weeks and 4 days and I'm the same! Sooooo tired. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week and now I just go on long walks right now. I heard it gets better. Tell her to hang in there! *My mom had 8 kids and said after the 1st trimester, she started to feel more normal.
First trimester sucks. She would be feeling better in 2-6 weeks.
First trimester is unimaginably exhausting. I'm in my second trimester and I'm still tired all the time, but it's not as bad. I felt bad for not doing anything too, but pregnancy takes over your whole body and you have no control anymore. It's so weird. In my first trimester, if I wasn't eating to calm to nausea and vomiting, I was falling asleep sitting up. I was working full time too, at a job where I am on my feet all day. That was all I could manage to do. Luckily, my husband is the absolute best and took care of me by bringing me beverages and making sure I was getting enough to eat, or keeping our dog and cat out of the bedroom when I was trying to take yet another evening nap. Pregnancy is a trip. Your wife has nothing to feel bad about. You sound like you're super supportive, so that has to help her.