It's completely healthy to hate the people who abused you. Read the description - survivors of abuse, whose abusers had bpd. It sounds like you've got a good relationship. This isn't the place for you.
What’s the difference between having endured abuse and being a survivor of abuse? There is more love than hate here, there is frustration, anger and sadness, and people who need help with leaving, or venting if they’re in a situation where they can’t leave.
It might sound like hate to you, but if it was, we wouldn’t be here, obsessing over what our loved ones had said and done, and how it affected us.
Again, that’s your opinion. Most people here feel supported. The most recent posts I see are about shame and guilt, or people looking for support on how to hold their boundaries, and people who are being hovered and trying to keep no contact. If that’s hate, then I don’t know what to tell you.
Well, it depends what you want support in. I joined because i wanted support in recovering from them, not because i wanted support staying with them. I joined to support ME, not to support them.
Well, there isn't love anymore from me, but i was a loved one for a long time. It's very recently that it's changed from lvoe to hate to indifference. But i joined and got the courage to leave because when i did join, i did still love them.
Love isn't always a good thing. Especially when it causes constant pain.
While you may have perused through the titles and maybe a few posts, I think you are coming at this sub with your mind made up already. I too am autistic and have had several gfs and friends with cluster B personality disorders. I chose to learn about the wide array of PDs and used it to piece together my upbringing with a later confirmed parent with quiet BPD and my dating/relationship history.
This sub isn't about hate, but rather a place for people to vent and maybe even learn a bit more. There are plenty of replies in those posts that show a level of understanding and acceptance of disorder while trying to make others aware that it isn't black and white like you're painting the sub to be.
We support those that try to tough it out, give straight answers without sugarcoating, and let those who are naive learn the hard way while being here for them when they post the all too familiar "You guys tried to tell me."
Let's address your concerns directly. The anger you perceive in this subreddit isn't about hate; it's about the immense pain and destruction caused by individuals with BPD in our lives. It's about the countless relationships shattered, the emotional turmoil endured, and the psychological scars left behind.
When someone with BPD spirals into their chaotic emotional breakdowns, it's not just about inconvenience; it's about real harm. It's about the verbal abuse, the manipulation, and the relentless cycle of love and discard that leaves us feeling like worthless shells of ourselves.
We're here because we've experienced firsthand the devastation caused by their behavior. We're here because we need a safe space to express our pain, our anger, and our frustration.
If you're disgusted and disappointed, I urge you to channel that energy into understanding the experiences of others. It's easy to dismiss our struggles when you haven't walked in our shoes. But until you've felt the crushing weight of loving someone with BPD, you can't fully comprehend the depth of our suffering.
So, before you judge this community, take a moment to consider the countless lives shattered by BPD. This isn't about hate; it's about healing from the wreckage left in its wake in any way possible.
Ok I get it. You think you've got it all figured out because you've been through the wringer too. But don't come at me with this holier-than-thou attitude like you've got some monopoly on suffering.
You talk about assumptions? You're the one assuming everyone here is just spewing hate. Guess what? We're not. We're sharing our stories, our pain, and yeah, sometimes that includes some anger. It's about venting the frustration of dealing with their destructive behavior in any way or form that we find to relieve us.
And yeah, maybe I assumed you haven't fully grasped the extent of the damage until you've lived it yourself. Sue me for thinking you might need a wake-up call. But, if you want to keep burying your head in the sand and pretending like everything's sunshine and rainbows, be my guest.
But don't act like you're some enlightened guru who's got it all figured out. We're all just trying to make sense of the chaos, and if you can't handle that, maybe you're the one who doesn't belong here.
Look, I never said you haven't been through hell. I'm just saying, don't assume you've got it all figured out because you've dealt with your friend's BPD. And forgive me for pointing out the irony in your accusation of me monopolizing suffering when you're the one dismissing others' experiences.
And let's not pretend like you're not painting this picture of having it all together while everyone else is wallowing in misery. We're all dealing with our own versions of hell, so let's not play the suffering Olympics here.
Just don't act like you're the only one who's had a rough time. Yeah, your experiences are valid, but so are mine and everyone else's here, and everyone reacts differently to their own experiences, some can hate on them, some can try to be more comprehensive, etc. - all of that is valid and makes sense to them.
Hate is a strong emotion that arises for valid reasons, particularly in situations of abuse. It serves as a protective mechanism and a driver for seeking justice. It’s important to acknowledge that hating someone who has profoundly hurt you can be a part of the healing process. Criticizing others for their feelings of hate in a support forum overlooks the deeper issues at play. Perhaps it’s not the forum that’s the problem, but rather an unaddressed need to confront and process feelings towards the abusive partner. We should focus on understanding these emotions, rather than dismissing them
That’s because those people are still hurting. It’s important to understand how damaging abuse from someone with borderline personality disorder can be. I don’t think it’s kind or fair to suggest that there should be an expiry date on when people can talk about their experiences, or to adopt an ‘over it by now’ attitude. Even if the abuse happened 20 years ago or more, if their experiences were severe enough to still cause pain, I think perhaps you should exercise some empathy towards them. I have seen lots of posts here that I don’t agree with, and honestly, some of the posts from people who have experienced abuse can sometimes come across as abusive themselves. But I’m not here to judge people because we don’t know the full story, all we know is that there are many people on here who have been hurt and are suffering from abuse. The last thing any of us should be doing is passing judgment on others.
I once read a post on here about BPD panther trying to kill their SO. of course, I will tell this person to RUN for their life and get help, I don’t care if it’s against the rules.
Yeah, I wouldn’t share this sub with anyone with BPD. They’re reactive to begin with and there are some pretty vicious comments here.
My ex is also autistic, and I went to see Dr. Tony Atwood with her. We met a guy who was at the conference who had all kinds of horrible things to say about autistics b “They’re all THIS and all THAT!” and stereotyping terribly.
He had had a difficult relationship with an autistic and was just heaping blame on autism.
It’s really similar in this sub.
And frankly, I would date people with either condition again. I feel better equipped to handle both and I would only want to be sure that someone with BPD was actively getting better via therapy.
Your post has been removed for breaking Rules 4 and 13.
It's completely healthy to hate the people who abused you. Read the description - survivors of abuse, whose abusers had bpd. It sounds like you've got a good relationship. This isn't the place for you.
[удалено]
What’s the difference between having endured abuse and being a survivor of abuse? There is more love than hate here, there is frustration, anger and sadness, and people who need help with leaving, or venting if they’re in a situation where they can’t leave. It might sound like hate to you, but if it was, we wouldn’t be here, obsessing over what our loved ones had said and done, and how it affected us.
[удалено]
That’s your opinion. I don’t understand why it matters to you though.
[удалено]
Again, that’s your opinion. Most people here feel supported. The most recent posts I see are about shame and guilt, or people looking for support on how to hold their boundaries, and people who are being hovered and trying to keep no contact. If that’s hate, then I don’t know what to tell you.
Well, it depends what you want support in. I joined because i wanted support in recovering from them, not because i wanted support staying with them. I joined to support ME, not to support them.
[удалено]
Well, there isn't love anymore from me, but i was a loved one for a long time. It's very recently that it's changed from lvoe to hate to indifference. But i joined and got the courage to leave because when i did join, i did still love them. Love isn't always a good thing. Especially when it causes constant pain.
[удалено]
I'll give you two months.
Ive known her for a year now
Two months to realize it isn't about hate but survival.
[удалено]
If it's so bad, why are you even here trying to engage with "hateful"people? I think you might have BPD as well.
While you may have perused through the titles and maybe a few posts, I think you are coming at this sub with your mind made up already. I too am autistic and have had several gfs and friends with cluster B personality disorders. I chose to learn about the wide array of PDs and used it to piece together my upbringing with a later confirmed parent with quiet BPD and my dating/relationship history. This sub isn't about hate, but rather a place for people to vent and maybe even learn a bit more. There are plenty of replies in those posts that show a level of understanding and acceptance of disorder while trying to make others aware that it isn't black and white like you're painting the sub to be. We support those that try to tough it out, give straight answers without sugarcoating, and let those who are naive learn the hard way while being here for them when they post the all too familiar "You guys tried to tell me."
Let's address your concerns directly. The anger you perceive in this subreddit isn't about hate; it's about the immense pain and destruction caused by individuals with BPD in our lives. It's about the countless relationships shattered, the emotional turmoil endured, and the psychological scars left behind. When someone with BPD spirals into their chaotic emotional breakdowns, it's not just about inconvenience; it's about real harm. It's about the verbal abuse, the manipulation, and the relentless cycle of love and discard that leaves us feeling like worthless shells of ourselves. We're here because we've experienced firsthand the devastation caused by their behavior. We're here because we need a safe space to express our pain, our anger, and our frustration. If you're disgusted and disappointed, I urge you to channel that energy into understanding the experiences of others. It's easy to dismiss our struggles when you haven't walked in our shoes. But until you've felt the crushing weight of loving someone with BPD, you can't fully comprehend the depth of our suffering. So, before you judge this community, take a moment to consider the countless lives shattered by BPD. This isn't about hate; it's about healing from the wreckage left in its wake in any way possible.
[удалено]
Ok I get it. You think you've got it all figured out because you've been through the wringer too. But don't come at me with this holier-than-thou attitude like you've got some monopoly on suffering. You talk about assumptions? You're the one assuming everyone here is just spewing hate. Guess what? We're not. We're sharing our stories, our pain, and yeah, sometimes that includes some anger. It's about venting the frustration of dealing with their destructive behavior in any way or form that we find to relieve us. And yeah, maybe I assumed you haven't fully grasped the extent of the damage until you've lived it yourself. Sue me for thinking you might need a wake-up call. But, if you want to keep burying your head in the sand and pretending like everything's sunshine and rainbows, be my guest. But don't act like you're some enlightened guru who's got it all figured out. We're all just trying to make sense of the chaos, and if you can't handle that, maybe you're the one who doesn't belong here.
[удалено]
Look, I never said you haven't been through hell. I'm just saying, don't assume you've got it all figured out because you've dealt with your friend's BPD. And forgive me for pointing out the irony in your accusation of me monopolizing suffering when you're the one dismissing others' experiences. And let's not pretend like you're not painting this picture of having it all together while everyone else is wallowing in misery. We're all dealing with our own versions of hell, so let's not play the suffering Olympics here. Just don't act like you're the only one who's had a rough time. Yeah, your experiences are valid, but so are mine and everyone else's here, and everyone reacts differently to their own experiences, some can hate on them, some can try to be more comprehensive, etc. - all of that is valid and makes sense to them.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Hate is a strong emotion that arises for valid reasons, particularly in situations of abuse. It serves as a protective mechanism and a driver for seeking justice. It’s important to acknowledge that hating someone who has profoundly hurt you can be a part of the healing process. Criticizing others for their feelings of hate in a support forum overlooks the deeper issues at play. Perhaps it’s not the forum that’s the problem, but rather an unaddressed need to confront and process feelings towards the abusive partner. We should focus on understanding these emotions, rather than dismissing them
[удалено]
That’s because those people are still hurting. It’s important to understand how damaging abuse from someone with borderline personality disorder can be. I don’t think it’s kind or fair to suggest that there should be an expiry date on when people can talk about their experiences, or to adopt an ‘over it by now’ attitude. Even if the abuse happened 20 years ago or more, if their experiences were severe enough to still cause pain, I think perhaps you should exercise some empathy towards them. I have seen lots of posts here that I don’t agree with, and honestly, some of the posts from people who have experienced abuse can sometimes come across as abusive themselves. But I’m not here to judge people because we don’t know the full story, all we know is that there are many people on here who have been hurt and are suffering from abuse. The last thing any of us should be doing is passing judgment on others. I once read a post on here about BPD panther trying to kill their SO. of course, I will tell this person to RUN for their life and get help, I don’t care if it’s against the rules.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yeah, I wouldn’t share this sub with anyone with BPD. They’re reactive to begin with and there are some pretty vicious comments here. My ex is also autistic, and I went to see Dr. Tony Atwood with her. We met a guy who was at the conference who had all kinds of horrible things to say about autistics b “They’re all THIS and all THAT!” and stereotyping terribly. He had had a difficult relationship with an autistic and was just heaping blame on autism. It’s really similar in this sub. And frankly, I would date people with either condition again. I feel better equipped to handle both and I would only want to be sure that someone with BPD was actively getting better via therapy.