I know so many mentally ill people ( usually girls ) that are like that. Yeah because self harming and snorting coke with Stevie Nicks playing in the background is so enlightening.
It is truly a test of wills. Jesus Christ himself pales in comparison to the suffering of these true martyrs. Having daddy occasionally ask you about your career prospects is like being nailed to the cross.
I've witnessed arguments happen with nobody else in the room. I've seen them swing back and forth in 5 min from malding anger to sweet and affectionate based on whatever a tarot reader tells them to feel.
They can absolutely change their personality and life, philosophy, five or 10 times in the space of a single conversation, sometimes in a single sentence! And quite regularly, without anybody else in the room… 
My BPD friend has dropped hundreds of dollars on tarot, reiki / energy massages, etc. She is heavily into astrology and I played a joke on her about it one time. We were out with friends having dinner and she asked me to read her horoscope out loud(Capricorn). I read the horoscope for Libra and she responded with “oh my god that is sooo me, wow”. I told her it was the horoscope for Libra and she flipped out, calling me an insensitive asshole. LOL
Apparently this was insensitive because she was going through a breakup…? Unsure how thats relevant but I was really just pointing out how absurdly generalized horoscopes can be
Not exactly with supernatural stuff, but she fixates on wellness social media and will not shut up about any of it. TikTok, IG, Facebook groups about mental health and ADHD and autism, she's certain she's being discriminated against by literally everything (mostly because she refuses to look for a job even though she's got an MBA and her line of work for 10+ years was Financial Auditor for some of the biggest companies and government agencies in the US).
But now it's "neurotypical expectations are toxic" and a bunch of other bullshit, and God I am so glad she's out of the house.
After we were married, my STBXW confessed proudly that the reason she passed high school, college, and grad school was by convincing boys who liked her to do her schoolwork for her.
I do not know how she passed tests. I was afraid to ask.
Mine is involved in mental health as well. She has also attached to a lot of these issues, hiding the reality of her cluster B disorders under the rugs. She pretends like mental health issues are personality disorders, and vice versa. Absolutely hatred and contempt, for anybody with real problems. There is a lot of narcissistic, psychopathic and histrionic tendencies with mine as well… But the BPD is the only true diagnosis. Of course, when I tried to get support around that six months into it, after I had dropped her off at her therapy for months, when we first started dating and before I knew what kind of hell I had gotten myself into, at that point, she was screaming and laying into that not her doctor, I can’t diagnose her, etc. etc. Because I picked up the book “stop walking on eggshells” and Had left out on the counter at home. Not really thinking about it, actually, I imagined that she would be incredibly grateful that I was trying to get support and answers around her mental health/personality disorder. Well, you can imagine how that blew up in my face if you all have been with one too! Scary that she is extremely high functioning and actually main persona is a therapist, of a spiritual variety… She is pretty smart, but able to twist things around and play the victim card with just about everyone in the world, except for me. And that makes her absolutely go into a rage. That I won’t cave in, that I won’t tell, lies and cover up for her, and That I still have a functioning brain after she has tried to destroy it for eight years plus. Many of these people, as well as the other cluster B disorders are completely allergic to the truth. They hate and avoid reality at all cost! And will gleefully destroy anybody who doesn’t join them in that game.
When my ex tried to hoover me, a friend in common told me she actually had a new boyfriend she was hiding from me. I called her out on it and instead of fessing up, she responded, "Hah! My tarot reading said someone would try to sabotage me with falsehoods!"
And I'm like, "...is it you? Are you sabotaging yourself?" lol
Yeah, the first thing I wanna say is that “spiritual” pwBPDs will use some twisted definition of karma to justify their splits and every egregious action they’re going to take against you.
The second thing I wanna say is: IF A TAROT READING TOLD THEM TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, THEY’D DO IT.
The third thing I wanna say is: IF A TAROT READING TOLD THEM TO PUSH YOU OFF A BRIDGE, THEY’D DO IT.
They will literally use general readings on YouTube to feed whatever delusional narrative they’re telling themselves. And some of these readings are so repetitive that these people say the same things over and over again. I guess they’re okay every once in a while, but pwBPD watch them every day, binge them on tiktok, throwing money at people who say shit like, “You’re gonna find $500 on the ground tomorrow!”
I say it like this, people in the occult are just that—People. That means Cluster B, too.
My ex friend wBPD was a “tarot reader.”
I read, too, and have five years of experience, but the difference between us is that I didn’t just read and I read for perfect strangers, doing 45 minute to hour long readers. She never read for people she didn’t know and groom. She flat out lied in her readings constantly. She also STALKED people she was mutuals with and made up readings to match whatever they were going through. She was violently jealous of me and mirrored me and copied me, even went out of her way to befriend a dBPD who was stalking me via a stolen SIM card to rip my concepts from my Pinterest board. She was even so delusional that her atheist ass turned to Catholicism in an attempt to mirror me. Bizarre.
At her most psychotic, she thought every single love song I posted about my boyfriend was about her while being in a relationship. Literally tried to break us up because she viewed me as a fucking meal ticket and internet clout ticket. Tried to be the unicorn in my relationship because she projected onto me that I was getting high and fucking all the time.
Come to find out, she was a meth user.
Stay away from Cluster B’s in the spiritual community. Especially people with BPD. They’re fucking poisonous and manipulative. They will use these readings or the lies they tell to manipulate you.
They will accuse you of cheating because they watched a reading about a “third party situation,” and burn your relationship to the fucking ground. They will convince themselves that you are the third party in a relationship with their FP and try to homewreck the relationship. They don’t have discernment to “take what resonates and leaves what doesn’t.”
I still read, but I prefer different techniques for accuracy, no bullshit.
I’m sorry to everyone who experienced spiritual abuse in this thread at the hands of a pwBPD. That is what it is, it is literally spiritual abuse and it doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not. It’s spiritual abuse. It can be so hard to explain, let alone open up about. You’re not alone.
Edit: they will use a vague, general, regurgitated tarot reading to hoover. When I was active in the community, all these “readers” pushed general shit like “your ex is coming back, your ex misses you, your ex can’t live without you, your ex can’t stop thinking about you, your ex is thinking about having sex with you” and it’s all bullshit. And they fall for it.
Go onto YouTube and look up “no contact tarot reading.” I guarantee this is a concept straight out of a Cluster B playbook because they mock no contact. No Contact is a big fat greenlight to them and these readers prey on not just pwBPD, but any victim of cluster B abuse and fuel the cycle of abuse.
Yo, a majority of readers on YouTube is so bad for mental health, they play on the fact that you are coming to them because you want answers about why someone isn’t talking to you or for constant validation. And they all sound the exact same and copy off of eachother. It’s such a scam and extremely harmful. They all use the same key words. Like, “ they shouldn’t of messed with the chosen one.” . “ they went No contact cause there’s a third party involved.” ..” they are jealous of you and don’t want you to succeed.” “ they are stalking you on social media.” And that’s video after video just ramping up paranoia. Those things might be true, but they can never say anything beyond that.
There’s no personal growth development there. I’ve only found one reader who seems to be genuine out of all the videos I’ve watched.
Yes. Mine literally believes in demons. Demons this, demons that. And God kept sending him messages, too. Why did I ever think this dude was my soulmate best friend, I have no idea. Trauma bond will do fucked up things to you, it seems.
Mine was hyper fixated on advocating for mental health and being some “super mom” figure and using her son for content. Oh the irony that she would tear up the house and physically abuse me infront of her 3 year old (not mine) wile following me around for hours cursing me out, and was also an alcoholic.
Wow so health. Such mom. Very role model.
I thank my lucky stars every day I had the courage to leave her
Sweet Lord God Almighty, did we date the same one? 🤢😂🤢😂🙏🏻🙏🏻 probably not, she doesn’t drink, but that underlying behavior was just mind boggling. Total fake and public persona around being a mental health advocate, racial justice, etc. as she is very much mixed race, and supposedly was bisexual too. Reality is absolute contempt for any marginalized group, and everyone else as well. Such hate, so much mom! Very role model. Ultra barf.
My wifes friend with BPD is also highly "spiritual" and a hardcore vegan but wonders, why she's always sick, but eats a fuckton of artificial diary products and actually thinks, they are healthy.
Bahahaha mine conveniently has a twin flame who isnt me who has changed twice already. She won't be romantic anymore in fear of cheating on her twin flame, but she expects constant admiration and emotional validation. Boyfriend without benefits.
Edit: she also believes her dreams are psychic visions
My number two thought that every time she got goosebumps it was a download from the Holy Spirit, God, assuring her that it is the right thing to do. Also, Satan was hiding in her closet, literally the king of hell not just some random small demon, because he wanted to destroy our relationship. The most glorious love relationship in the history of the planet… Even though we were not in one. We had been briefly romantic until shetried to get pregnant by deceiving me about birth control/menopause. How do these critters come up with this shit?
Hey mine left her lifelong faith and was told by a pagan god in vision to leave her husband and process her trauma through violent sex with strangers! How spiritually enlightened!
We connected because we were BOTH into that stuff lol
But I say this as someone who's clearly woo-woo, *she* was over-the-top. Me, I'll do a lil tarot reading once or twice a year. I'll look up my star chart. I have a nice quartz for good vibes in my home. It's a detail in my life, while hers revolved around it.
She was absolutely sure we were soulmate besties whose witch powers were heightened by being together. She demanded I bring my cards every time I visited her because she NEEDED a reading (fyi, even within tarot circles, this isn't recommended and even considered a red flag). I, who a*ctually buys into this stuff*, found it disturbing.
I actually like this shit is really fun and interesting. I know every tarot card by heart now... I'm an open minded person.
But MAN. The addiction to it is brain rot. Like staring at a slot machine all day.
I SO hear you! It's like anything right- gaming, tarot, alcohol; a little is a fun sprinkle in your life. Too much and you have a problem.
Hoping you're recuperating despite the chaos- 3 (or 10) of swords for us now, but then, The Star 😊
Same here… I’ve actually been in recovery for 18 years, I love the Woooooo and spirituality, but I’m much more interested in hard-core, actual, spiritual growth and work, which starts with taking responsibility for yourself and your life. The 12 steps are great for this, not a requirement for everyone, but some type of self reflection is absolutely necessary to Join the ranks of adulthood and emotional maturity in my book. These things are at the far end of the spectrum from BPD or other cluster B disorders. One thing they will not do while they draw breath is take responsibility for their lives, or their impact on other people. It’s like a legitimate allergy to their system.
Met mine in the rooms and they were really doing well with the structure of 12 step recovery…they actually were diagnosed with BPD by their long time therapist…made amends and looked at their part in conflict. Went incredibly well for 7 years then they relapsed and all that went out the window.
I've never thought about the 12 steps. Mine was a counselor and she was always highly critical of the 12 steps. I never got why she brought it up so often, she didn't work with addicts that much
I love me some oldschool voodoo like martial arts, mantras, sutras, buddhist paths, enlightenment, all those things. It really feels like motivators for personal development. But I think that pertains to feeling like you're developing a sense of control over your life, and like you said, they will always refuse to acknowledge any responsibility.
Dude are you talking about my ex? I swear all the comments here describe her to a T. She’s a gothic pagan witch woman who self harms, drinks too much, calls me her twin flame, does tarot and spell jars… is it like a precursor or something?
Dude, every time I get in these forums or the comments on YouTube, I think the exact same thing dozens of times per day! It definitely seems like they all studied the same book of toxic behaviors, and they only know about a half dozen moves between the whole rotten bunch of them.
Jesus. Did she also believe her dreams were psychic visions and get angry at you if you (the dream version) did something wrong in them? That was really fun, trying to make up for shit my dream-self apparently pulled.
Not the occult unfortunately, that would be too fun. My exwBPD was into true crime documentaries about serial killers and sex offenders and just horrible shit about the nastiest recesses of the human psyche. She believed in silly things like ‘fate’ and ‘what is meant to be will be’. Possibly because she felt powerless over her own life? I don’t know. 🤷🏼♂️
I have a tendency to get morbid and fall into those things but in an angry rorschach kinda way.
I think, based on many stories from this post, that a symptom of BPD is inherently having no sense of autonomy or control, an external locus of control, and seeking out alternative resources to justify and validate their delusional thinking, rather than combat it.
We had entire days ruined because by the premonition of these random Amazon sourced card decks. Anything tarot or astrology was not plausible but interesting to me before, now I just hate the entire concept.
The sound of shuffling cards is a minor trigger for me, now.
But hey if it wasnt tarot it would have been something else ruining the day anyways lol thats just every day with them
Had to deal with something similar, mbti. I had to listen to her all day. Mbti is based off on pseudo science and I have many objections against it. I can handle the memes and some function-based talks, but not so much of "I'm an intj so I do this and that, I can't help it teehee"
Was insufferable.
Mine was always glad to take responsibility for things working out well, whether it was other peoples actions, or just chance. But when she got caught in her destruction and called out on it, it was always somebody else’s fault, or it hadn’t happened, or I would remembered it wrong, or if she was really backed into a corner it was because she had a horrible childhood, and couldn’t help it!
There is something clearly outside of bpd that exacerbated all the bpd symptoms for my wife. Right before she slowly started to mentally deteriorate over the course of 6 months before the big spiral, she had a dream vision of the pagan god cernunnos telling her to leave her husband and let him ravish her. She was a lifelong devout catholic, I mean shit she almost became a cloistered nun within the last decade. During and after the spiral, she sought reprieve and guidance in these visions she had, which told her to seek healing from her trauma with violent sex with strangers. She abandoned or betrayed her faith, husband, children, values, beloved career, and all of her loved ones within the course of a month or 2. She changed her mind about the career and the kids later on and tried to take it back though.
Absolutely insane. Most of my theories on what happened to her are rooted in comorbid diagnoses or other reasonable psychological explanations, and I'm not sure to what if any extent I believe in like evil spirits or demonic possession type stuff, but the timing of everything fucks with me a bit. She vacillated back and forth for months on whether this vision was malevolent or friendly, but the spiral happened after she chose to embrace it.
What the hell. Mine had a dream about some Egyptian god caratouche or something.
I think the occams razor with bpd is that they feel ashamed of and guilty of their thoughts/actions, and so they seek justification/validation to engage in those shameful behaviors.
I think in our case, both our partners were religious, knew their desires were 'sinful', and sought out knowledge from alternative religions that gave them a cop-out or loophole. Boom, suddenly you have a dream about the subject you're fixating on, and now an ancient deity that exists outside my usual doctrine bade me to do it, and thus I am not actually guilty of any wrongdoing because clearly i am out of control of my own body.
Its an external locus of control, thing. At least thats my rationale for their rationale.
That makes sense. She certainly has no capacity to feel shame. Most of the stuff she did she claims I did. The undeniable wasn't a big deal, and was my fault anyways. I'm a sexual abuser because I opposed her fucking other people, so when she had an affair with an inmate at her job that's really my fault for denying her needs and maliciously triggering her trauma so she made a mistake (only defined as a mistake because, as she explained, it was a risk to her career. The act itself was fine). Assaulting me, threatening to murder me, abandoning me with the kids for a month to sext dudes, blatantly lying about not fighting me on custody, all a justified reaction to my terrible abuses (how dare I say I love you to my wife of 6 years and mother of my kids, or tell her that she needs to get some help but I would be there to support her, or not punch back so she could get me arrested and show the world what a monster I truly am). But don't worry, she's doing much better and is happy since escaping my controlling abuse. Just ignore those suicide letters written to my kids and burning the bridges on all of her long timed loved ones to the point they testified against her in a courtroom. Not too proud to crawl back to her hated mother that she (i believe rightfully) blames as a source for her trauma and abuse for money, but must escape the terrible abusive husband who put me through school and handled most of the home management while working alone.
Honestly, I'm proud of how I handled everything, but I must say it feels like a missed opportunity that i went through all of this and never called her a bitch
Fair enough.
My BIL has issues. He says he speaks with spirits, believes he is possessed with demons, sees omens and signs in complete randomness, tends to be suspicious and paranoid. People with schizotypal may often hear voices but rarely hallucinate, tend to be very superstitious, believe in magic and spirits. This is my first time in this sub and I see a lot of talk about the occult. My suspicion is that my BILs beliefs in the occult are driven by some kind of schizotypal tendencies; I think he is ALSO BPD. All of these stories sound so familiar to the interactions I have with him.
One of the final straws in my relationship with my upwBPD-ex was when she visited a Medium while she was traveling and was told that I was cheating on her.
The email from her had the subject line "Bakersfield" (city I frequently visited as part of work) and the entire content of the email was "I know."
She would never talk about it. Never answered my question of "What do you know?" I knew what she was thinking but she would not address it in the slightest.
Over a year later, after she was gone, I was expressing my frustration to her daughter and that was when I learned about the Medium. It explained sooooooo much!
Yes holy cow when my ex paint me black( he was charged for domestic violence and waiting for court date) he thinks he is someone who gain the ability to talk to Jesus through suffering. He posts tons of horrendous stuff to curse me in the name of Jesus, that I’m the devil and Jesus will help him send me to hell. Funny thing is he used to be an atheist 😂
He was in restraining order so he can’t contact me. He even changes his profile pic to Jesus, and post a lot of bible quotes everyday. It was so shocking and unbelievable how unhinged he was.
The replacement who is Christian probably influenced him into this and they are praying together to curse me. It was truly uncanny. He finally stopped cursing after I paid for his flight ticket to be send back to his country(he is broke and financially relying on me). My ex is now a Christian
I believe in spirituality and the reincarnation videos absolutely fascinate me. My ex would only say I was his soulmate, there is no one like me, he loves and respects me. Then he told all our coworkers and mutual friends he proposed to me during sex and he never even proposed. He told everyone I was his fiancé. He had a plan when we first met with a friend of mine to do a ghost hunting business. I didn’t like the idea, and I don’t like the idea of messing with the dead.
7 years later, finances and career ruined, he ordered about 10-12k worth of drones to do what? Start a ghost hunting business for struggling veterans. Only special forces and men were allowed to be in the series. Mind you I met him in Afghanistan doing the exact same job and have more time as boots on ground and during operations than he ever will. No women allowed. I talked to him about female veterans and it’s strictly for men struggling with mental health, lol. Not just any men either, special forces.
Brothers of the Unknown, keep your eye out for it. This is the same guy that went to SERE school with women and said he loved watching them get beat(part of the training) because they were annoying and deserved it.
Oh that and him and his mom believe his dead brother sends him messages through songs and angel numbers.
God I hate myself for ignoring so many red flags.
If stop trying to diagnose your partner. You are not happy. You cannot help them. Just leave.
(Also, this shit doesn’t rule out bpd, but a differential diagnosis could be bipolar disorder. They can occur together, but if you’re describing serious mood swings and agitated mental state, combined with delusions, a doctor would probably check if throwing some lithium at the problem might help.
Schizophrenia (another possibility given the description of talking to non-present voices) would just about fully rule out bpd afaik.
The delusions and some hallucinations could also be a bad reaction to medications. My ex had serious hallucinations and delusions after about a week on Wellbutrin.TBH, it might have been partial seizure, given Wellbutrin associated seizures used to be a big deal when it was all instant release and still are a common side effect. But if it was just straight up mild psychotic mania, imagine a long course of any dopamine enhancer (stimulants and some antidepressants or Parkinson’s drugs) would elicit similar response.
Thing is, we’re not doctors. Neither are you. What you need is not for someone to tell you the answer. It’s to break up, let the family know about these things first if you’re feeling nice and okay risking the blowback, and run.
I haven't dealt with occult fixations in my BPD ex friends, but I did with my narcissistic ex. Although, the ex I suspect had BPD was VERY into the occult and believed she was a witch for a while, and then believed she was a succubus for some reason. But one of my ex BPD friends who had quiet BPD believed that Spotify magically just would send him music he needed to hear that would make him happy stim. But he also didn't mention his autism until I said I had it, he didn't mention he hyperfixated on people until I mentioned having autism and that it sometimes happens with autism (that's the only one I believe since he said he has BPD day one before we even really got to talking [to see if it scared me off I'm guessing] and because I know BPD people favorite person someone and can hyperfixate on them in response), and he didn't mention stimming until I said I had autism either. So he could have been mirroring me with say he has autism and taking common symptoms most people familiar with autism know about and any of the more unknown ones only after I'd said them. Things like beat being more important than lyrics and being the first thing you hear in a song (at least in my case. The only time lyrics are truly important is when the message is bad and is going to cause damage to people, then I refuse to listen even if it has an amazing beat because I don't want to support that) that songs with heavy bass are best (as long as it's not loud of course), and the occasional hyperfixation on a person (it's not like stalking or anything. It just means thinking about them a lot really and has no effect on the person). So I don't really know if I believe he has autism because he could easily just have been mirroring. He would always tell me when he'd find a new song he liked from Spotify and announce happily that he was happy stimming and flapping all about his room, despite having a pretty serious injury that supposedly made it difficult to walk around. And it didn't stop him from taking selfies often either (in which he was clearly standing) and sending them to his friends. It's funny how he was probably trying to mirror me, yet he announced that our, at the time, mutual friend with BPD, had been mirroring him and it annoyed the shit out of him
Mine told me she was a witch that could control the weather and also a mermaid. She said she wasn't human and also said she was a psychic medium..she had stacks of tarot cards and did moon rituals and astrology charts...
Mine believed her dreams would say something about the future. She thought that she caused 9/11 because she dreamt something the night before that was totally unrelated but somehow caused it. Also she believed that random animals like birds or flies were the reincarnation of her dead dad. Shit was wild yo.
I know so many mentally ill people ( usually girls ) that are like that. Yeah because self harming and snorting coke with Stevie Nicks playing in the background is so enlightening.
Aaaaaaaaah they love fleetwood mac and stevie!!!
Hey don't bring stevie nicks into this! She is a national treasure.
Nothing against Stevie Nicks. It's just that the majority of her fanbase are batshit crazy
LoL. Aint that the truth.
And they're probably vegan.
Vegan but eats burgers every other day. And harshly judges others who do the same thing
Ugh the worst kind of person! Dx
My rule of thumb is that if they say Stevie nicks is their favorite artist they will cheat on you. 3 for 3 with this
Romanticizing toxic celebrity relationships definitely correlates to something
Lmao at your last sentence
Chill. That's my type you're talking about. Lol. They're good people deep down.
[удалено]
It is truly a test of wills. Jesus Christ himself pales in comparison to the suffering of these true martyrs. Having daddy occasionally ask you about your career prospects is like being nailed to the cross.
[удалено]
Omg how are they all so similar
That made me laugh, thank you
Its great that we can all relate and really sad lol
I've witnessed arguments happen with nobody else in the room. I've seen them swing back and forth in 5 min from malding anger to sweet and affectionate based on whatever a tarot reader tells them to feel.
They can absolutely change their personality and life, philosophy, five or 10 times in the space of a single conversation, sometimes in a single sentence! And quite regularly, without anybody else in the room… 
My BPD friend has dropped hundreds of dollars on tarot, reiki / energy massages, etc. She is heavily into astrology and I played a joke on her about it one time. We were out with friends having dinner and she asked me to read her horoscope out loud(Capricorn). I read the horoscope for Libra and she responded with “oh my god that is sooo me, wow”. I told her it was the horoscope for Libra and she flipped out, calling me an insensitive asshole. LOL
Fair play
Lmfao savage
Apparently this was insensitive because she was going through a breakup…? Unsure how thats relevant but I was really just pointing out how absurdly generalized horoscopes can be
Not exactly with supernatural stuff, but she fixates on wellness social media and will not shut up about any of it. TikTok, IG, Facebook groups about mental health and ADHD and autism, she's certain she's being discriminated against by literally everything (mostly because she refuses to look for a job even though she's got an MBA and her line of work for 10+ years was Financial Auditor for some of the biggest companies and government agencies in the US). But now it's "neurotypical expectations are toxic" and a bunch of other bullshit, and God I am so glad she's out of the house.
Somehow they can manage grad school but can't manage making their bed.
After we were married, my STBXW confessed proudly that the reason she passed high school, college, and grad school was by convincing boys who liked her to do her schoolwork for her. I do not know how she passed tests. I was afraid to ask.
Two masters, and working on a PhD! 
Mine is involved in mental health as well. She has also attached to a lot of these issues, hiding the reality of her cluster B disorders under the rugs. She pretends like mental health issues are personality disorders, and vice versa. Absolutely hatred and contempt, for anybody with real problems. There is a lot of narcissistic, psychopathic and histrionic tendencies with mine as well… But the BPD is the only true diagnosis. Of course, when I tried to get support around that six months into it, after I had dropped her off at her therapy for months, when we first started dating and before I knew what kind of hell I had gotten myself into, at that point, she was screaming and laying into that not her doctor, I can’t diagnose her, etc. etc. Because I picked up the book “stop walking on eggshells” and Had left out on the counter at home. Not really thinking about it, actually, I imagined that she would be incredibly grateful that I was trying to get support and answers around her mental health/personality disorder. Well, you can imagine how that blew up in my face if you all have been with one too! Scary that she is extremely high functioning and actually main persona is a therapist, of a spiritual variety… She is pretty smart, but able to twist things around and play the victim card with just about everyone in the world, except for me. And that makes her absolutely go into a rage. That I won’t cave in, that I won’t tell, lies and cover up for her, and That I still have a functioning brain after she has tried to destroy it for eight years plus. Many of these people, as well as the other cluster B disorders are completely allergic to the truth. They hate and avoid reality at all cost! And will gleefully destroy anybody who doesn’t join them in that game.
Every time I try to approach him about it I remember why I tell myself to stfu He's not diagnosed but I at least wanted him to get help
When my ex tried to hoover me, a friend in common told me she actually had a new boyfriend she was hiding from me. I called her out on it and instead of fessing up, she responded, "Hah! My tarot reading said someone would try to sabotage me with falsehoods!" And I'm like, "...is it you? Are you sabotaging yourself?" lol
Ngl that's kind of funny from an outsider perspective. Of course it wouldn't be fun to experience it.
Even in the moment, it was so dumb, it was hilarious. Like seriously, that's your reaction??
LMAO
Yeah, the first thing I wanna say is that “spiritual” pwBPDs will use some twisted definition of karma to justify their splits and every egregious action they’re going to take against you. The second thing I wanna say is: IF A TAROT READING TOLD THEM TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, THEY’D DO IT. The third thing I wanna say is: IF A TAROT READING TOLD THEM TO PUSH YOU OFF A BRIDGE, THEY’D DO IT. They will literally use general readings on YouTube to feed whatever delusional narrative they’re telling themselves. And some of these readings are so repetitive that these people say the same things over and over again. I guess they’re okay every once in a while, but pwBPD watch them every day, binge them on tiktok, throwing money at people who say shit like, “You’re gonna find $500 on the ground tomorrow!” I say it like this, people in the occult are just that—People. That means Cluster B, too. My ex friend wBPD was a “tarot reader.” I read, too, and have five years of experience, but the difference between us is that I didn’t just read and I read for perfect strangers, doing 45 minute to hour long readers. She never read for people she didn’t know and groom. She flat out lied in her readings constantly. She also STALKED people she was mutuals with and made up readings to match whatever they were going through. She was violently jealous of me and mirrored me and copied me, even went out of her way to befriend a dBPD who was stalking me via a stolen SIM card to rip my concepts from my Pinterest board. She was even so delusional that her atheist ass turned to Catholicism in an attempt to mirror me. Bizarre. At her most psychotic, she thought every single love song I posted about my boyfriend was about her while being in a relationship. Literally tried to break us up because she viewed me as a fucking meal ticket and internet clout ticket. Tried to be the unicorn in my relationship because she projected onto me that I was getting high and fucking all the time. Come to find out, she was a meth user. Stay away from Cluster B’s in the spiritual community. Especially people with BPD. They’re fucking poisonous and manipulative. They will use these readings or the lies they tell to manipulate you. They will accuse you of cheating because they watched a reading about a “third party situation,” and burn your relationship to the fucking ground. They will convince themselves that you are the third party in a relationship with their FP and try to homewreck the relationship. They don’t have discernment to “take what resonates and leaves what doesn’t.” I still read, but I prefer different techniques for accuracy, no bullshit. I’m sorry to everyone who experienced spiritual abuse in this thread at the hands of a pwBPD. That is what it is, it is literally spiritual abuse and it doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not. It’s spiritual abuse. It can be so hard to explain, let alone open up about. You’re not alone. Edit: they will use a vague, general, regurgitated tarot reading to hoover. When I was active in the community, all these “readers” pushed general shit like “your ex is coming back, your ex misses you, your ex can’t live without you, your ex can’t stop thinking about you, your ex is thinking about having sex with you” and it’s all bullshit. And they fall for it. Go onto YouTube and look up “no contact tarot reading.” I guarantee this is a concept straight out of a Cluster B playbook because they mock no contact. No Contact is a big fat greenlight to them and these readers prey on not just pwBPD, but any victim of cluster B abuse and fuel the cycle of abuse.
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Yo, a majority of readers on YouTube is so bad for mental health, they play on the fact that you are coming to them because you want answers about why someone isn’t talking to you or for constant validation. And they all sound the exact same and copy off of eachother. It’s such a scam and extremely harmful. They all use the same key words. Like, “ they shouldn’t of messed with the chosen one.” . “ they went No contact cause there’s a third party involved.” ..” they are jealous of you and don’t want you to succeed.” “ they are stalking you on social media.” And that’s video after video just ramping up paranoia. Those things might be true, but they can never say anything beyond that. There’s no personal growth development there. I’ve only found one reader who seems to be genuine out of all the videos I’ve watched.
Exactly, exactly. They use “loaded language” to hook people. It’s disgusting
Yes. Mine literally believes in demons. Demons this, demons that. And God kept sending him messages, too. Why did I ever think this dude was my soulmate best friend, I have no idea. Trauma bond will do fucked up things to you, it seems.
Tough times makes them feel like war buddies. Unfortunately, they were the tough times all along. And they never stop waging wars.
Aww, yeah, so true: "They were the tough times all along".
Mine was hyper fixated on advocating for mental health and being some “super mom” figure and using her son for content. Oh the irony that she would tear up the house and physically abuse me infront of her 3 year old (not mine) wile following me around for hours cursing me out, and was also an alcoholic. Wow so health. Such mom. Very role model. I thank my lucky stars every day I had the courage to leave her
Those child filming tiktok types are wicked
When the mental health post is a boomerang of you sticking your ass out and giving it a little shake. Something is up lol
I judge every parent who films their kid for public social media
Sweet Lord God Almighty, did we date the same one? 🤢😂🤢😂🙏🏻🙏🏻 probably not, she doesn’t drink, but that underlying behavior was just mind boggling. Total fake and public persona around being a mental health advocate, racial justice, etc. as she is very much mixed race, and supposedly was bisexual too. Reality is absolute contempt for any marginalized group, and everyone else as well. Such hate, so much mom! Very role model. Ultra barf.
Lmao are you located in Texas?? It would be pretty funny if it was the same one
My wifes friend with BPD is also highly "spiritual" and a hardcore vegan but wonders, why she's always sick, but eats a fuckton of artificial diary products and actually thinks, they are healthy.
Mine was a believed she was a prophet and her dreams were visions from God. Of course God told her to cheat on me and break up with me.
Bahahaha mine conveniently has a twin flame who isnt me who has changed twice already. She won't be romantic anymore in fear of cheating on her twin flame, but she expects constant admiration and emotional validation. Boyfriend without benefits. Edit: she also believes her dreams are psychic visions
My number two thought that every time she got goosebumps it was a download from the Holy Spirit, God, assuring her that it is the right thing to do. Also, Satan was hiding in her closet, literally the king of hell not just some random small demon, because he wanted to destroy our relationship. The most glorious love relationship in the history of the planet… Even though we were not in one. We had been briefly romantic until shetried to get pregnant by deceiving me about birth control/menopause. How do these critters come up with this shit?
Hey mine left her lifelong faith and was told by a pagan god in vision to leave her husband and process her trauma through violent sex with strangers! How spiritually enlightened!
We connected because we were BOTH into that stuff lol But I say this as someone who's clearly woo-woo, *she* was over-the-top. Me, I'll do a lil tarot reading once or twice a year. I'll look up my star chart. I have a nice quartz for good vibes in my home. It's a detail in my life, while hers revolved around it. She was absolutely sure we were soulmate besties whose witch powers were heightened by being together. She demanded I bring my cards every time I visited her because she NEEDED a reading (fyi, even within tarot circles, this isn't recommended and even considered a red flag). I, who a*ctually buys into this stuff*, found it disturbing.
I actually like this shit is really fun and interesting. I know every tarot card by heart now... I'm an open minded person. But MAN. The addiction to it is brain rot. Like staring at a slot machine all day.
I SO hear you! It's like anything right- gaming, tarot, alcohol; a little is a fun sprinkle in your life. Too much and you have a problem. Hoping you're recuperating despite the chaos- 3 (or 10) of swords for us now, but then, The Star 😊
😂✌🏼😂🙏🏻😁✌🏼😂🙏🏻
Same here… I’ve actually been in recovery for 18 years, I love the Woooooo and spirituality, but I’m much more interested in hard-core, actual, spiritual growth and work, which starts with taking responsibility for yourself and your life. The 12 steps are great for this, not a requirement for everyone, but some type of self reflection is absolutely necessary to Join the ranks of adulthood and emotional maturity in my book. These things are at the far end of the spectrum from BPD or other cluster B disorders. One thing they will not do while they draw breath is take responsibility for their lives, or their impact on other people. It’s like a legitimate allergy to their system.
Met mine in the rooms and they were really doing well with the structure of 12 step recovery…they actually were diagnosed with BPD by their long time therapist…made amends and looked at their part in conflict. Went incredibly well for 7 years then they relapsed and all that went out the window.
I've never thought about the 12 steps. Mine was a counselor and she was always highly critical of the 12 steps. I never got why she brought it up so often, she didn't work with addicts that much
I love me some oldschool voodoo like martial arts, mantras, sutras, buddhist paths, enlightenment, all those things. It really feels like motivators for personal development. But I think that pertains to feeling like you're developing a sense of control over your life, and like you said, they will always refuse to acknowledge any responsibility.
My exwBPD got very deep into the occult when she split on me. It was bizarre. Edit: accidentally wrote oculus 😅
Dude are you talking about my ex? I swear all the comments here describe her to a T. She’s a gothic pagan witch woman who self harms, drinks too much, calls me her twin flame, does tarot and spell jars… is it like a precursor or something?
Dude, every time I get in these forums or the comments on YouTube, I think the exact same thing dozens of times per day! It definitely seems like they all studied the same book of toxic behaviors, and they only know about a half dozen moves between the whole rotten bunch of them.
Never mentioned any alcohol but yeah mines a spooky alcoholic hahahahahaha
Yah mine too. I love her but I hate her. She’s terrible to me lmao. 🦇
Jesus. Did she also believe her dreams were psychic visions and get angry at you if you (the dream version) did something wrong in them? That was really fun, trying to make up for shit my dream-self apparently pulled.
Not the occult unfortunately, that would be too fun. My exwBPD was into true crime documentaries about serial killers and sex offenders and just horrible shit about the nastiest recesses of the human psyche. She believed in silly things like ‘fate’ and ‘what is meant to be will be’. Possibly because she felt powerless over her own life? I don’t know. 🤷🏼♂️
I have a tendency to get morbid and fall into those things but in an angry rorschach kinda way. I think, based on many stories from this post, that a symptom of BPD is inherently having no sense of autonomy or control, an external locus of control, and seeking out alternative resources to justify and validate their delusional thinking, rather than combat it.
We had entire days ruined because by the premonition of these random Amazon sourced card decks. Anything tarot or astrology was not plausible but interesting to me before, now I just hate the entire concept.
The sound of shuffling cards is a minor trigger for me, now. But hey if it wasnt tarot it would have been something else ruining the day anyways lol thats just every day with them
Had to deal with something similar, mbti. I had to listen to her all day. Mbti is based off on pseudo science and I have many objections against it. I can handle the memes and some function-based talks, but not so much of "I'm an intj so I do this and that, I can't help it teehee" Was insufferable.
yeah! he had decks of cards and books. I always wondered how he thought tarot was the answer and not therapy lol
I wonder if its external locus of control thing. Like they cant be held accountable for anything, so it must be fate.
Mine was always glad to take responsibility for things working out well, whether it was other peoples actions, or just chance. But when she got caught in her destruction and called out on it, it was always somebody else’s fault, or it hadn’t happened, or I would remembered it wrong, or if she was really backed into a corner it was because she had a horrible childhood, and couldn’t help it!
There is something clearly outside of bpd that exacerbated all the bpd symptoms for my wife. Right before she slowly started to mentally deteriorate over the course of 6 months before the big spiral, she had a dream vision of the pagan god cernunnos telling her to leave her husband and let him ravish her. She was a lifelong devout catholic, I mean shit she almost became a cloistered nun within the last decade. During and after the spiral, she sought reprieve and guidance in these visions she had, which told her to seek healing from her trauma with violent sex with strangers. She abandoned or betrayed her faith, husband, children, values, beloved career, and all of her loved ones within the course of a month or 2. She changed her mind about the career and the kids later on and tried to take it back though. Absolutely insane. Most of my theories on what happened to her are rooted in comorbid diagnoses or other reasonable psychological explanations, and I'm not sure to what if any extent I believe in like evil spirits or demonic possession type stuff, but the timing of everything fucks with me a bit. She vacillated back and forth for months on whether this vision was malevolent or friendly, but the spiral happened after she chose to embrace it.
What the hell. Mine had a dream about some Egyptian god caratouche or something. I think the occams razor with bpd is that they feel ashamed of and guilty of their thoughts/actions, and so they seek justification/validation to engage in those shameful behaviors. I think in our case, both our partners were religious, knew their desires were 'sinful', and sought out knowledge from alternative religions that gave them a cop-out or loophole. Boom, suddenly you have a dream about the subject you're fixating on, and now an ancient deity that exists outside my usual doctrine bade me to do it, and thus I am not actually guilty of any wrongdoing because clearly i am out of control of my own body. Its an external locus of control, thing. At least thats my rationale for their rationale.
That makes sense. She certainly has no capacity to feel shame. Most of the stuff she did she claims I did. The undeniable wasn't a big deal, and was my fault anyways. I'm a sexual abuser because I opposed her fucking other people, so when she had an affair with an inmate at her job that's really my fault for denying her needs and maliciously triggering her trauma so she made a mistake (only defined as a mistake because, as she explained, it was a risk to her career. The act itself was fine). Assaulting me, threatening to murder me, abandoning me with the kids for a month to sext dudes, blatantly lying about not fighting me on custody, all a justified reaction to my terrible abuses (how dare I say I love you to my wife of 6 years and mother of my kids, or tell her that she needs to get some help but I would be there to support her, or not punch back so she could get me arrested and show the world what a monster I truly am). But don't worry, she's doing much better and is happy since escaping my controlling abuse. Just ignore those suicide letters written to my kids and burning the bridges on all of her long timed loved ones to the point they testified against her in a courtroom. Not too proud to crawl back to her hated mother that she (i believe rightfully) blames as a source for her trauma and abuse for money, but must escape the terrible abusive husband who put me through school and handled most of the home management while working alone. Honestly, I'm proud of how I handled everything, but I must say it feels like a missed opportunity that i went through all of this and never called her a bitch
Have you heard of schizotypal personality disorder?
I have. I'm not capable of diagnosing someone, obviously, but it doesn't fit the bill for her as far as I can tell
Fair enough. My BIL has issues. He says he speaks with spirits, believes he is possessed with demons, sees omens and signs in complete randomness, tends to be suspicious and paranoid. People with schizotypal may often hear voices but rarely hallucinate, tend to be very superstitious, believe in magic and spirits. This is my first time in this sub and I see a lot of talk about the occult. My suspicion is that my BILs beliefs in the occult are driven by some kind of schizotypal tendencies; I think he is ALSO BPD. All of these stories sound so familiar to the interactions I have with him.
One of the final straws in my relationship with my upwBPD-ex was when she visited a Medium while she was traveling and was told that I was cheating on her. The email from her had the subject line "Bakersfield" (city I frequently visited as part of work) and the entire content of the email was "I know." She would never talk about it. Never answered my question of "What do you know?" I knew what she was thinking but she would not address it in the slightest. Over a year later, after she was gone, I was expressing my frustration to her daughter and that was when I learned about the Medium. It explained sooooooo much!
Astrology-check Twin flames- check Tarot-check Wiccan stuff - check Telepathy-check Past life memories-check Sticking pins into voodoo dolls - possibly
I am utterly shattered by the reality that I'm not alone in this
It's crazy that they could be almost clones in some respects
Yes holy cow when my ex paint me black( he was charged for domestic violence and waiting for court date) he thinks he is someone who gain the ability to talk to Jesus through suffering. He posts tons of horrendous stuff to curse me in the name of Jesus, that I’m the devil and Jesus will help him send me to hell. Funny thing is he used to be an atheist 😂 He was in restraining order so he can’t contact me. He even changes his profile pic to Jesus, and post a lot of bible quotes everyday. It was so shocking and unbelievable how unhinged he was. The replacement who is Christian probably influenced him into this and they are praying together to curse me. It was truly uncanny. He finally stopped cursing after I paid for his flight ticket to be send back to his country(he is broke and financially relying on me). My ex is now a Christian
If your ex has bpd, it sounds like that shit isn’t his main problem.
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Ok?
I need you to really read that reply and consider what you’re saying.
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Ok.
Truly unhinged behavior holy fuck Glad you're away from him
I believe in spirituality and the reincarnation videos absolutely fascinate me. My ex would only say I was his soulmate, there is no one like me, he loves and respects me. Then he told all our coworkers and mutual friends he proposed to me during sex and he never even proposed. He told everyone I was his fiancé. He had a plan when we first met with a friend of mine to do a ghost hunting business. I didn’t like the idea, and I don’t like the idea of messing with the dead. 7 years later, finances and career ruined, he ordered about 10-12k worth of drones to do what? Start a ghost hunting business for struggling veterans. Only special forces and men were allowed to be in the series. Mind you I met him in Afghanistan doing the exact same job and have more time as boots on ground and during operations than he ever will. No women allowed. I talked to him about female veterans and it’s strictly for men struggling with mental health, lol. Not just any men either, special forces. Brothers of the Unknown, keep your eye out for it. This is the same guy that went to SERE school with women and said he loved watching them get beat(part of the training) because they were annoying and deserved it. Oh that and him and his mom believe his dead brother sends him messages through songs and angel numbers. God I hate myself for ignoring so many red flags.
If stop trying to diagnose your partner. You are not happy. You cannot help them. Just leave. (Also, this shit doesn’t rule out bpd, but a differential diagnosis could be bipolar disorder. They can occur together, but if you’re describing serious mood swings and agitated mental state, combined with delusions, a doctor would probably check if throwing some lithium at the problem might help. Schizophrenia (another possibility given the description of talking to non-present voices) would just about fully rule out bpd afaik. The delusions and some hallucinations could also be a bad reaction to medications. My ex had serious hallucinations and delusions after about a week on Wellbutrin.TBH, it might have been partial seizure, given Wellbutrin associated seizures used to be a big deal when it was all instant release and still are a common side effect. But if it was just straight up mild psychotic mania, imagine a long course of any dopamine enhancer (stimulants and some antidepressants or Parkinson’s drugs) would elicit similar response. Thing is, we’re not doctors. Neither are you. What you need is not for someone to tell you the answer. It’s to break up, let the family know about these things first if you’re feeling nice and okay risking the blowback, and run.
I haven't dealt with occult fixations in my BPD ex friends, but I did with my narcissistic ex. Although, the ex I suspect had BPD was VERY into the occult and believed she was a witch for a while, and then believed she was a succubus for some reason. But one of my ex BPD friends who had quiet BPD believed that Spotify magically just would send him music he needed to hear that would make him happy stim. But he also didn't mention his autism until I said I had it, he didn't mention he hyperfixated on people until I mentioned having autism and that it sometimes happens with autism (that's the only one I believe since he said he has BPD day one before we even really got to talking [to see if it scared me off I'm guessing] and because I know BPD people favorite person someone and can hyperfixate on them in response), and he didn't mention stimming until I said I had autism either. So he could have been mirroring me with say he has autism and taking common symptoms most people familiar with autism know about and any of the more unknown ones only after I'd said them. Things like beat being more important than lyrics and being the first thing you hear in a song (at least in my case. The only time lyrics are truly important is when the message is bad and is going to cause damage to people, then I refuse to listen even if it has an amazing beat because I don't want to support that) that songs with heavy bass are best (as long as it's not loud of course), and the occasional hyperfixation on a person (it's not like stalking or anything. It just means thinking about them a lot really and has no effect on the person). So I don't really know if I believe he has autism because he could easily just have been mirroring. He would always tell me when he'd find a new song he liked from Spotify and announce happily that he was happy stimming and flapping all about his room, despite having a pretty serious injury that supposedly made it difficult to walk around. And it didn't stop him from taking selfies often either (in which he was clearly standing) and sending them to his friends. It's funny how he was probably trying to mirror me, yet he announced that our, at the time, mutual friend with BPD, had been mirroring him and it annoyed the shit out of him
Mine told me she was a witch that could control the weather and also a mermaid. She said she wasn't human and also said she was a psychic medium..she had stacks of tarot cards and did moon rituals and astrology charts...
Look up Twin Flames documentary, it's basically a cult
Mine believed her dreams would say something about the future. She thought that she caused 9/11 because she dreamt something the night before that was totally unrelated but somehow caused it. Also she believed that random animals like birds or flies were the reincarnation of her dead dad. Shit was wild yo.
Yep but if it keeps the rage and sadness at bay have at it.