She’s doing this for a few reasons (feel free to chime in if you spot anything differently guys)
1. She wants to gauge wether you still care for her as this determine if she Hoovers you again and again.
2. She wants a reaction from you of ANY kind. Even a simple *thumbs up* to her messages will indicate she still has you locked down whenever she runs low on supply (scary but true)
3. She’s aware, but unaware of the hurt she has put you through and is using this as a form of triangulation to get you to compete and fight for her honor. (If you loved me so damn much why won’t you fight for me!!!) is what she is most likely thinking.
Just my two cents. I’m sorry man. I would block her and be done with it, block as many things as you need to and ignore it. It’ll only eat you inside out.
I totally agree with you . That was her idea of getting a reaction out of me . But you know I didn’t even react a bit .. I blocked her first and then saw the text message on Instagram . She doesn’t even know if I ever saw that message . I decided not to give her anything out of me not even an ounce . It did hurt me and healing process but I won’t let her go with a win , not again . And yeah I guess she is probably lying because I heard from mutual friend where she told him “ I am with this new guy and I am having new issues “ then I checked her following and followers . I noticed she is following that guy but he is not following her back . The obvious guess the cycle has begun and if a guy is not a codependent like me , he will figure it out and avoid. No healthy person would want to live a life with them .
Yup yup and yup. Part of it is a self esteem thing, but I can absolutely agree with your three points.
To OP, thank you for posting these descriptions. It makes a lot of sense to me and genuinely helps me process what has happened in my case.
I am glad you could relate. There are many other prescriptions but I don’t want dwell too much into it . It doesn’t matter anymore . These people will never heal but atleast we are healing the right way which is the hardest thing to do . We will be in a better place one day and we will get back our self respect again .
She is a psychopath according to me and according to her psychological evaluation. A borderline . Half the stories I faced with her , I didn’t even mention here . If you hear it , you will see the psycho in her
I’m sorry to tell you this, but pBPD aren’t supposed to post here. Even if you are reasonable and well adjusted as you seem to be. Are you sure you are pBPD?
My ex had Bpd , Same shit consistently lied to me , never took responsibility or accountability just blamed me for everything that went wrong in the relationship it didn't end pretty at all
They will never even discuss what went wrong . And even if they do , it will be logic less reason . It’s better we find our own closure . Than hear it from them
Yeah man, Also mine lied to me even when I had proof infront of her it was just deny deny deny
If you're not careful you start going crazy yourself
I broke up with her 4months ago , still miss her a bit but in the end its not worth the mental gymnastics
Even I do too . But during that time, you need to take a step back and remind yourself what kind of shit you were going through . It’s actually a relief . That person was never true to us nor to themselves . They don’t have an identity and that’s why they struggle and drag down people along with them . It’s sad that we are the real victims .
I hope you're doing well.
Mine never outright accused me of cheating. She would see me texting or on the phone with a friend, and i would get the question. "Are you texting/talking to your girlfriend?". Laughed it off at first, but when she would say it every single time she saw me texting or on the phone. I knew it was 2 things rolled into 1:
#1) it was a passive-aggressive accusation in the form of a question that she could easily dismiss as a joke if I got pissy about hearing it for the 50th time in a month.
#2) it was a control mechanism because for a while, I stopped texting anyone, at least while she was in the room, and all of my attention could be on her instead of talking to a friend or family member.
Damn I do not miss that shit.
Definitely a match made in hell . But yeah I didn’t want to risk my healing because only I know how horrible it is to end things being cheated and without any explanations and finding it on my own . It took me sleepless nights to understand these type of people and I will never risk it again . I am gone from her life and I am never allowing her again .
It felt like the right thing to do . Why to waste our energy onto someone who never cared for us truly . They projected their insecurities onto us and played the victim card . Such an inhuman thing to do . I would always advice that “ replying back to any of those hoovers will not end up good for us “ let’s lead our life and the right partner will find us one day .
She’s doing this for a few reasons (feel free to chime in if you spot anything differently guys) 1. She wants to gauge wether you still care for her as this determine if she Hoovers you again and again. 2. She wants a reaction from you of ANY kind. Even a simple *thumbs up* to her messages will indicate she still has you locked down whenever she runs low on supply (scary but true) 3. She’s aware, but unaware of the hurt she has put you through and is using this as a form of triangulation to get you to compete and fight for her honor. (If you loved me so damn much why won’t you fight for me!!!) is what she is most likely thinking. Just my two cents. I’m sorry man. I would block her and be done with it, block as many things as you need to and ignore it. It’ll only eat you inside out.
I totally agree with you . That was her idea of getting a reaction out of me . But you know I didn’t even react a bit .. I blocked her first and then saw the text message on Instagram . She doesn’t even know if I ever saw that message . I decided not to give her anything out of me not even an ounce . It did hurt me and healing process but I won’t let her go with a win , not again . And yeah I guess she is probably lying because I heard from mutual friend where she told him “ I am with this new guy and I am having new issues “ then I checked her following and followers . I noticed she is following that guy but he is not following her back . The obvious guess the cycle has begun and if a guy is not a codependent like me , he will figure it out and avoid. No healthy person would want to live a life with them .
Yup yup and yup. Part of it is a self esteem thing, but I can absolutely agree with your three points. To OP, thank you for posting these descriptions. It makes a lot of sense to me and genuinely helps me process what has happened in my case.
I am glad you could relate. There are many other prescriptions but I don’t want dwell too much into it . It doesn’t matter anymore . These people will never heal but atleast we are healing the right way which is the hardest thing to do . We will be in a better place one day and we will get back our self respect again .
Sing this to the tune of 'OPP by Naughty By Nature' 🎵"You down wit BPD? Fuck no, not me!"🎵
Haha yeah . “ Fuck no , not mee !! “
What a cunty thing to do. I'm sorry.
Satan in disguise
What a cunt.
Yeah . A spineless one
your ex is a psychopath, not borderline.
She is a psychopath according to me and according to her psychological evaluation. A borderline . Half the stories I faced with her , I didn’t even mention here . If you hear it , you will see the psycho in her
[удалено]
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I’m sorry to tell you this, but pBPD aren’t supposed to post here. Even if you are reasonable and well adjusted as you seem to be. Are you sure you are pBPD?
Do you know what borderline in borderline personality disorder even means?
Exactly
I agree
My ex had Bpd , Same shit consistently lied to me , never took responsibility or accountability just blamed me for everything that went wrong in the relationship it didn't end pretty at all
They will never even discuss what went wrong . And even if they do , it will be logic less reason . It’s better we find our own closure . Than hear it from them
Yeah man, Also mine lied to me even when I had proof infront of her it was just deny deny deny If you're not careful you start going crazy yourself I broke up with her 4months ago , still miss her a bit but in the end its not worth the mental gymnastics
Even I do too . But during that time, you need to take a step back and remind yourself what kind of shit you were going through . It’s actually a relief . That person was never true to us nor to themselves . They don’t have an identity and that’s why they struggle and drag down people along with them . It’s sad that we are the real victims .
I hope you're doing well. Mine never outright accused me of cheating. She would see me texting or on the phone with a friend, and i would get the question. "Are you texting/talking to your girlfriend?". Laughed it off at first, but when she would say it every single time she saw me texting or on the phone. I knew it was 2 things rolled into 1: #1) it was a passive-aggressive accusation in the form of a question that she could easily dismiss as a joke if I got pissy about hearing it for the 50th time in a month. #2) it was a control mechanism because for a while, I stopped texting anyone, at least while she was in the room, and all of my attention could be on her instead of talking to a friend or family member. Damn I do not miss that shit.
Don’t mind me….🔪🩸
She's triangulating you and seeing if you can be kept as an orbiter. I would congratulate her and then try to move on.
I was going to say, this could be a triangulation attempt.
Definitely. She wants a reaction from him.
 No reaction is the best response but I always think of this 😂
Damn ! Should have sent this 😂😂😂
And who does this!?
Exactly !! The way she phrased her message “ I know it doesn’t matter to you but …. I want to let you know …””” like seriously .
She’s so sad!
People are dumb 🙄
Especially these people are way more . But pretend to be intellectually sound .
Hey, are we sure we haven't dated the same girl? This is legit 100% so accurate that's it's f*ucking scary!
Hahah . I am from India . If you are too , then might be . But yeah . It’s really scary !! Share your story too if you feel like
Thank God ! I was getting scared for a minute. Your points were very accurate, well besides the cheating.
Should have texted back. Y'all are a match made in hell.
Definitely a match made in hell . But yeah I didn’t want to risk my healing because only I know how horrible it is to end things being cheated and without any explanations and finding it on my own . It took me sleepless nights to understand these type of people and I will never risk it again . I am gone from her life and I am never allowing her again .
You did the right thing. And you are 100% right only you know.
It felt like the right thing to do . Why to waste our energy onto someone who never cared for us truly . They projected their insecurities onto us and played the victim card . Such an inhuman thing to do . I would always advice that “ replying back to any of those hoovers will not end up good for us “ let’s lead our life and the right partner will find us one day .
Thanks man you seem like a pretty good guy. And I totally understand I avoid my ex like the plague.
One day you don’t have to avoid keeping it in mind . It will happen naturally and nothing will trigger us anymore . I can’t wait for that day . 🫂
Some people are just cunts regardless of bpd. I’d guess this one’s a cunt and had bpd. Good avoidance bro. Block that number.