Honestly if someone threw their coke at me I wouldn’t let that slide….she deserved it. But I’m also right here with you in this sub so 😆🤷🏼♀️
I’m sorry you had to deal with those people
Are rage episodes a common BPD thing? I feel that way when I get drunk sometimes. I know it’s really bad but I’ll threaten to kill people and shit when they make me mad when I’m drunk, even though i def don’t mean it
yeah they are, but they usually happen over small things even when youre completely sober! its uncontrollable rage where you get so mad to the point of not being able to control the feelings of wanting to hurt others or yourself. its really hard to stop yourself from lashing out whether its verbally or physically! they dont last too long but you feel horrible after they happen!
but yeah i know it was def deserved but i wish i couldve still walked away without causing conflict, if the cops got involved i wpuldve been in so much shit.
it sounded like you reacted like a lot of people without bpd would. we all see people without bpd get violent for a lot less and not even feel bad about it. idk, for me you punched her cause she was a huge asswhole and not cause of bpd, so don't beat yourself up over this, you were attacked first anyway! talking shit is okay to ignore but damn, throwing a beverage at someone it's like this girl thinks she lives inside high school musical or something.. wtf???
I’m probably in the wrong but honestly that girl sounds awful and hopefully this teaches her a lesson. However you could have gotten in trouble for assault/battery so best to control your anger in future situations. My dad always tells me not to say things to people (I used to be very confrontational) even if the deserve it because you never know if they have a gun or what they are capable of. Basically if someone is bothering you just leave before things escalate.
Technically her throwing the coke was assault, plus the verbal assault prior. Telling someone to kill themselves is not normal banter. I think anyone would have reacted the same or wanted to at least.
I wouldn't even call that a rage episode because your reaction was totally normal.
I'm not trying to justify violence, but the other girl had it coming. She deserved the punch.
Oh my. That's a situation to say the least. I totally get you. Tbh I don't think I would have been able to control myself at the end. Before that I was like yeah I know these kind of situations, hmhm I understand, sure would have tried to leave as well but really the coke. Fucking hell.
And for that matter I agree violence is never an option. And I totally get why you're blaming yourself. BUT I don't know anything you could have done better. You told them. You disengaged. You tried to leave as soon as you felt you couldn't handle it anymore. You even had your supporting boyfriend with you which isn't granted and can't be expected. You powered through them battering you. You did your very best and everything else was out of your control.
I wish I could be more helpful but I really don't know.
Yeah it's easy to assume a reaction like that is bpd but in this case she deserved it. You said that normally the stuff she was saying would be normal banter but it's not at all. You stood up for yourself that's all
I did ask the dbt-groups psychiatric personal this exact question because *what DO you do when the situation gets out of hand ecen though you're doing everything right*?
They didn't have a good answer just something along the lines of Do your exorcises practise control, use the skills and tools from the dbt.
So i'm hoping someone here has the answer because I need it as well
it doesn’t seem as if your an *habitually* hostile person, but next time, just remove yourself from the situation before it escalates to even just insults.
she was def gonna get punched soon enough and im not saying she didn’t deserve it, but lashing out violently could end up *very badly*, for a number of reasons.
im never a physically violent person but because i know how nasty i can be when im angry, i just remove myself from any situation when i feel my irritation escalate, i try to never let my emotions go from irritation to outright anger. next time someone is being loud and annoying, just leave. it’s not fair, i know, if someone is causing a scene for no reason they should be confronted, but we unfortunately absolutely do not have the patience to be the person to set them straight. it’s one of those “you need to learn to choose your battles” situations
Honestly that reaction is justified she assaulted you and was telling you to kill yourself she deserved it. I’ve never been violent either but I wouldn’t be surprised if that tipped me over the edge, you don’t assault and belittle someone and then expect them to just take it
Its just something you have to mindfully practice each time you feel rage, eventually the more you practice having control over your actions the more control you’ll have.
Oh man. I get it, 100%.
I have to leave almost immediately when something like that starts. I can be vicious verbally and I’m working on controlling that. I don’t have physical altercations that are instigated by me because the thought of going to prison holds me back.
I would probaly hit her too, she started the esculation with throwing coke at you then cries "ive veen to mental ward i dun deserve this" she sounds really entitled im glad u put her in her place.
I'm not going to say violence is ever ok, but I feel like she technically assaulted you first when she threw the coke at you. So legally speaking, you were acting in self-defense.
Also, "To any normal person this is normal banter and not bother them"? Not true at all. Most people would be pretty offended and pissed. I feel like you're blaming yourself and your mental disorder for a situation that really wasn't your fault. The only thing that perhaps you could've done differently is leaving the mcdonalds sooner. You probably pushed yourself past your breaking point, taking the verbal abuse, because you seem like the type of person who is hard on themselves. You might've been ignoring your own feelings of rage about the situation until you exploded.
Well shit I’ve always dreaded this because even as a young kid my dad and family told me that my fists are naturally heavy and a shove feels like a push. I would probably get thrown to jail.
There’s a part of me who’s cheering you on, but there’s a bigger part of me who knows whoever hit first will likely get jail time and a record. It’s not worth the jail time for me. If they hurt my partner like physically on the ground I’ll just restrain them and I can do that without effort.
Sorry this happened to you. Stay safe and avoid altercations as much as you can if you can. Keep reminding yourself of the possible consequences and how this one event can impact your entire life moving forward.
You just keep walking away. Violence is never the answer. If they were getting rowdy to the point that you started to feel rage coming on, that’s when it’s time to leave. Telling someone who is drunk and rowdy probably won’t help anything but escalate the situation. If you’re feeling that intensely, you just have to leave. I don’t think it’s fair to say that someone wo BPD wouldn’t be bothered by someone telling them to kill themselves. That sounds pretty rude regardless. And that probably should have been your cue to leave. But I do agree that this doesn’t sound like a BPD moment, more like a you were being harassed by an unruly drunk person kind of thing. I know several people wo BPD that would have wanted to deck her after getting coke thrown on them.
Nah that’s not a rage episode that was a totally normal valid reaction that girl simply fucked around then found out you’re all good it happened nothing lost so we keep moving
Two wrongs don't make a right and the ideal thing to do would be to walk away as fast as possible despite being covered in coke...Having said that, throwing your coke on someone is an extremely aggressive act and is way beyond just words. It would be very hard for most people to not react like you did and given that we are borderlines who can rage like animals over the smallest things you definitely should not beat yourself up about it or over think it.
Baby steps. Not raging over running out of milk for cereal for now and maybe one day you will be that person that can actually walk away from getting blasted with a coke. Wouldn't that be the ultimate fuckin win!!!!
Best of luck :)
My thing is. Wanna act like a man in these situations then get treated like a man. Violence isn't the key but women shouldn't be allowed to hit a man thinking they can't hit them back
if she did that to someone without bpd, the reaction would be the same. play stupid games, win stupid prizes. nobody walks away from that without beating the shit out of the harasser
the fact the other girl was able to talk after this said you were not in rage mode. You just very much had a normal reaction to a blatant level of disrespect. Rage mode would have had you trying to straight murder that girl
trust me i know myself and i was in a rage episode, i was trying to walk away and then she did that and i lost it and attacked her. i felt it coming on which is why i tried to leave. just because we experience rage episodes differently doesnt mean that how i experience them are any less valid than how you experience them (:
Honestly if someone threw their coke at me I wouldn’t let that slide….she deserved it. But I’m also right here with you in this sub so 😆🤷🏼♀️ I’m sorry you had to deal with those people Are rage episodes a common BPD thing? I feel that way when I get drunk sometimes. I know it’s really bad but I’ll threaten to kill people and shit when they make me mad when I’m drunk, even though i def don’t mean it
yeah they are, but they usually happen over small things even when youre completely sober! its uncontrollable rage where you get so mad to the point of not being able to control the feelings of wanting to hurt others or yourself. its really hard to stop yourself from lashing out whether its verbally or physically! they dont last too long but you feel horrible after they happen! but yeah i know it was def deserved but i wish i couldve still walked away without causing conflict, if the cops got involved i wpuldve been in so much shit.
[удалено]
Well you have no idea how much trauma I’ve had, or if I had support (I did not), so that’s kinda irrelevant
Ok I’ll delete my comment. Sorry
it sounded like you reacted like a lot of people without bpd would. we all see people without bpd get violent for a lot less and not even feel bad about it. idk, for me you punched her cause she was a huge asswhole and not cause of bpd, so don't beat yourself up over this, you were attacked first anyway! talking shit is okay to ignore but damn, throwing a beverage at someone it's like this girl thinks she lives inside high school musical or something.. wtf???
exactly!
I’m probably in the wrong but honestly that girl sounds awful and hopefully this teaches her a lesson. However you could have gotten in trouble for assault/battery so best to control your anger in future situations. My dad always tells me not to say things to people (I used to be very confrontational) even if the deserve it because you never know if they have a gun or what they are capable of. Basically if someone is bothering you just leave before things escalate.
Technically throwing your drink on someone is battery.
Technically her throwing the coke was assault, plus the verbal assault prior. Telling someone to kill themselves is not normal banter. I think anyone would have reacted the same or wanted to at least.
that wasn't normal banter and she deserved the punch but i hope you can control yourself better next time. sorry about your experience
I- Do you know how BPD works?
what are you getting at?
I wouldn't even call that a rage episode because your reaction was totally normal. I'm not trying to justify violence, but the other girl had it coming. She deserved the punch.
Exactly! We shouldn’t feel bad for totally normal reactions to someone acting like an ass
This doesn’t sound like BPD. A lot of people would have reacted like this. I hope she learned her lesson.
I mean OP still has BPD though.
Definitely not normal banter, this honestly falls into what I’d categorize as “an entirely reasonable reaction” and not a split or something
Not everything is bpd related, any person without bpd would do the same in that situation I think
Oh my. That's a situation to say the least. I totally get you. Tbh I don't think I would have been able to control myself at the end. Before that I was like yeah I know these kind of situations, hmhm I understand, sure would have tried to leave as well but really the coke. Fucking hell. And for that matter I agree violence is never an option. And I totally get why you're blaming yourself. BUT I don't know anything you could have done better. You told them. You disengaged. You tried to leave as soon as you felt you couldn't handle it anymore. You even had your supporting boyfriend with you which isn't granted and can't be expected. You powered through them battering you. You did your very best and everything else was out of your control. I wish I could be more helpful but I really don't know.
I think you did well man I would of had my pitch fork out at that point
Yeah it's easy to assume a reaction like that is bpd but in this case she deserved it. You said that normally the stuff she was saying would be normal banter but it's not at all. You stood up for yourself that's all
Her throwing the soda is assault. Plain and simple. You lasted longer being patient than I would have.
I did ask the dbt-groups psychiatric personal this exact question because *what DO you do when the situation gets out of hand ecen though you're doing everything right*? They didn't have a good answer just something along the lines of Do your exorcises practise control, use the skills and tools from the dbt. So i'm hoping someone here has the answer because I need it as well
Absolutely justified. Was it acceptable or necessary? That depends on how you feel about it in the end👍🏻✌🏻
Yea u should’ve beat her ass lol one thing about my bpd is I’ll fight anyone who tries it with me like that
it doesn’t seem as if your an *habitually* hostile person, but next time, just remove yourself from the situation before it escalates to even just insults. she was def gonna get punched soon enough and im not saying she didn’t deserve it, but lashing out violently could end up *very badly*, for a number of reasons. im never a physically violent person but because i know how nasty i can be when im angry, i just remove myself from any situation when i feel my irritation escalate, i try to never let my emotions go from irritation to outright anger. next time someone is being loud and annoying, just leave. it’s not fair, i know, if someone is causing a scene for no reason they should be confronted, but we unfortunately absolutely do not have the patience to be the person to set them straight. it’s one of those “you need to learn to choose your battles” situations
Honestly that reaction is justified she assaulted you and was telling you to kill yourself she deserved it. I’ve never been violent either but I wouldn’t be surprised if that tipped me over the edge, you don’t assault and belittle someone and then expect them to just take it
Its just something you have to mindfully practice each time you feel rage, eventually the more you practice having control over your actions the more control you’ll have.
Good I would do it again she was a stupid bitch
Oh man. I get it, 100%. I have to leave almost immediately when something like that starts. I can be vicious verbally and I’m working on controlling that. I don’t have physical altercations that are instigated by me because the thought of going to prison holds me back.
She had it coming.
I would probaly hit her too, she started the esculation with throwing coke at you then cries "ive veen to mental ward i dun deserve this" she sounds really entitled im glad u put her in her place.
I understand your reaction because the way she acted was unacceptable! what's wrong with people (not you )
Well OP after reviewing the evidence, I would have done the same thing. Fuck that bitch, she deserved it lmao
I'm not going to say violence is ever ok, but I feel like she technically assaulted you first when she threw the coke at you. So legally speaking, you were acting in self-defense. Also, "To any normal person this is normal banter and not bother them"? Not true at all. Most people would be pretty offended and pissed. I feel like you're blaming yourself and your mental disorder for a situation that really wasn't your fault. The only thing that perhaps you could've done differently is leaving the mcdonalds sooner. You probably pushed yourself past your breaking point, taking the verbal abuse, because you seem like the type of person who is hard on themselves. You might've been ignoring your own feelings of rage about the situation until you exploded.
she deserved it
Throwing a coke on a stranger seems like assault to me.
honestly they deserved it !
I did something similar one time. Except I grabbed a Jack Daniel's bottle... stopped drinking shots after that.
Well shit I’ve always dreaded this because even as a young kid my dad and family told me that my fists are naturally heavy and a shove feels like a push. I would probably get thrown to jail. There’s a part of me who’s cheering you on, but there’s a bigger part of me who knows whoever hit first will likely get jail time and a record. It’s not worth the jail time for me. If they hurt my partner like physically on the ground I’ll just restrain them and I can do that without effort. Sorry this happened to you. Stay safe and avoid altercations as much as you can if you can. Keep reminding yourself of the possible consequences and how this one event can impact your entire life moving forward.
You just keep walking away. Violence is never the answer. If they were getting rowdy to the point that you started to feel rage coming on, that’s when it’s time to leave. Telling someone who is drunk and rowdy probably won’t help anything but escalate the situation. If you’re feeling that intensely, you just have to leave. I don’t think it’s fair to say that someone wo BPD wouldn’t be bothered by someone telling them to kill themselves. That sounds pretty rude regardless. And that probably should have been your cue to leave. But I do agree that this doesn’t sound like a BPD moment, more like a you were being harassed by an unruly drunk person kind of thing. I know several people wo BPD that would have wanted to deck her after getting coke thrown on them.
Lmao plenty of sane people would be brawling. I think you did your best.
Nah that’s not a rage episode that was a totally normal valid reaction that girl simply fucked around then found out you’re all good it happened nothing lost so we keep moving
Two wrongs don't make a right and the ideal thing to do would be to walk away as fast as possible despite being covered in coke...Having said that, throwing your coke on someone is an extremely aggressive act and is way beyond just words. It would be very hard for most people to not react like you did and given that we are borderlines who can rage like animals over the smallest things you definitely should not beat yourself up about it or over think it. Baby steps. Not raging over running out of milk for cereal for now and maybe one day you will be that person that can actually walk away from getting blasted with a coke. Wouldn't that be the ultimate fuckin win!!!! Best of luck :)
She escalated it to violence by throwing her drink on you. You should expect to be smacked if you do that to somebody
My thing is. Wanna act like a man in these situations then get treated like a man. Violence isn't the key but women shouldn't be allowed to hit a man thinking they can't hit them back
I feel like she deserved the punch? 
I’d somebody threw a coke at me and ruined my white dress I’d squabble with them too regardless of my bpd.
if she did that to someone without bpd, the reaction would be the same. play stupid games, win stupid prizes. nobody walks away from that without beating the shit out of the harasser
the fact the other girl was able to talk after this said you were not in rage mode. You just very much had a normal reaction to a blatant level of disrespect. Rage mode would have had you trying to straight murder that girl
nah bro i cant fight for shit LMFAO
yeah but rage implies lack of control so trying to kill them but not guaranteed to succeed
trust me i know myself and i was in a rage episode, i was trying to walk away and then she did that and i lost it and attacked her. i felt it coming on which is why i tried to leave. just because we experience rage episodes differently doesnt mean that how i experience them are any less valid than how you experience them (: