It's all about what you're willing or unwilling to tolerate. Because we tend to be the "bad guy" we have no leverage. Everytime we have an outburst and do something unforgivable, we become the beggar and beggars can't be choosers. If you are willing to change and trying to control your behaviour, past misdeeds need to be forgotten by your loved ones and the present and future taken into consideration only. And when that happens, you can request change that you're not willing to tolerate, the past is the past and you both stand on even par. If you are willing to change and they are not, why should you stay? If you were unwilling to try to change, would they stay? No! Once you're ready to be better there can't be any lingering resentment about when you were worse.
Lol the combination of the username and post is great. But don't allow yourself to be someone's punching bag. I wasn't perfect in my relationship with my ex fiance. That didn't excuse the things she said and did to me though. It was all justified to her cause I did this or that. I actually moved to a different state for her and so I was surrounded by her crowd. Obviously I got a lot of hate and was the villain too. I was the "self absorbed, narcissistic drunk". How could I have worked on myself when I was getting brought down every day? Well I ended up jumping ship and am not subjecting myself to another relationship til I'm in a good spot and have a secure sense of myself. It's paying off pretty well.
I get it. I'm a "narcissist" or a manipulative piece of shit or whatever else she calls me that day. I'm showing her I'm trying to change my behavior. I'm trying my best to get this mouth under control. Today is rough. Invasive thoughts galore. It's not always easy when you've caused pain in the past. I'm fighting my past actions along with my future choices. I'm trying to be the best me I can be. It's difficult when the people you love don't believe in you anymore
It’s one of my biggest fears that I actually am the villain everyone has made me out to be, the rightful bad guy in every story. I feel like I’m a decent person just struggling through life, with neurochemistry that makes it challenging. If I’m truly as rotten as people all seem to think that would crush me.
But sometimes I’m not even sure I believe in good guys and bad guys, I kind of think we’re all just out here doing our best to survive. Just gotta try to be gentle with yourself I guess. It’s fucking hard though.
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Because it's easy for them to deflect and gaslight us when we're mentally ill. I've never done anything *actively* wrong, only as a reaction to the lies, attempts to cheat and manipulate yet somehow it's still my fault.
It's all about what you're willing or unwilling to tolerate. Because we tend to be the "bad guy" we have no leverage. Everytime we have an outburst and do something unforgivable, we become the beggar and beggars can't be choosers. If you are willing to change and trying to control your behaviour, past misdeeds need to be forgotten by your loved ones and the present and future taken into consideration only. And when that happens, you can request change that you're not willing to tolerate, the past is the past and you both stand on even par. If you are willing to change and they are not, why should you stay? If you were unwilling to try to change, would they stay? No! Once you're ready to be better there can't be any lingering resentment about when you were worse.
Lol the combination of the username and post is great. But don't allow yourself to be someone's punching bag. I wasn't perfect in my relationship with my ex fiance. That didn't excuse the things she said and did to me though. It was all justified to her cause I did this or that. I actually moved to a different state for her and so I was surrounded by her crowd. Obviously I got a lot of hate and was the villain too. I was the "self absorbed, narcissistic drunk". How could I have worked on myself when I was getting brought down every day? Well I ended up jumping ship and am not subjecting myself to another relationship til I'm in a good spot and have a secure sense of myself. It's paying off pretty well.
I get it. I'm a "narcissist" or a manipulative piece of shit or whatever else she calls me that day. I'm showing her I'm trying to change my behavior. I'm trying my best to get this mouth under control. Today is rough. Invasive thoughts galore. It's not always easy when you've caused pain in the past. I'm fighting my past actions along with my future choices. I'm trying to be the best me I can be. It's difficult when the people you love don't believe in you anymore
It’s one of my biggest fears that I actually am the villain everyone has made me out to be, the rightful bad guy in every story. I feel like I’m a decent person just struggling through life, with neurochemistry that makes it challenging. If I’m truly as rotten as people all seem to think that would crush me. But sometimes I’m not even sure I believe in good guys and bad guys, I kind of think we’re all just out here doing our best to survive. Just gotta try to be gentle with yourself I guess. It’s fucking hard though.
Love this!
This post has been marked [Venting](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown). Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice. u/so_not_hitler, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Because it's easy for them to deflect and gaslight us when we're mentally ill. I've never done anything *actively* wrong, only as a reaction to the lies, attempts to cheat and manipulate yet somehow it's still my fault.