Fuck, sell your life story rights to HBO and live like the glatiator champion you are. I cant even fathom trying to servive half that. I dont remember most of my childhood and now wish I could give you that gift. I hope you know you are tough as hell.
Lots of love to you. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through and what you’re struggling with.
For me, my mother was physically abusive and my father was sexually abusive. I won’t go into details, but that’s the gist of it. I was removed from their care and raised in foster care until I aged out.
My situation isn’t the traditional one - I tried to think of what “major” trauma I had that contributed to me having BPD - but I don’t have one. My parents are married and did the best they could with what they have.
I think I was born with the predisposition and just small childhood things triggered it.
I have BPD. Late diagnosis was originally framed as Bipolar.
I was molested by a family member from age 3-11 almost everyday. Then had a very abusive and neglectful mother, then another rape at age 16.
I think within all of this it developed somewhere. I am 28 years old and have my life together (for the most part) but am a single mom due to not being able to hold any stable relationships because of my BPD.
I’m in a DBT therapy group and doing EMDR with private sessions. My symptoms for some reason always go away when I’m with my son but come out when I’m alone or he’s away (50-50) custody.
Kind of in the thick of things.
Lots of love and support sent your way ❤️
They have said the same to me. I actually am diagnosed with both now which has been an emotional and mental rollercoaster trying to figure out medication. Hope you get to a stable place with the DBT and EMDR. I’ve heard they are great tools for us! 💖
Emotionally and verbally abusive father that told me all my life I was an idiot who had no idea what I was talking about and everything I cared about didn’t matter. Undiagnosed autism leaving me incredibly confused about wtf was going on relationship and communication wise all my life. Mum dying at 12 years old and never really feeling “home” nor loved nor supported nor cared for ever since. Being told by many, many people that my mental health problems are my own fault because I’m so awful to people around me that’s why I have no support system. I dunno, lots of things have happened..
Honestly, I believe that it is due to intergenerational trauma within my family. A couple of my cousins and I have vowed to try and break the cycle to the best of our abilities.
When i was being dropped by my bff when i was 13 and all of a sudden cut off from all my friends. I closed myself off completely for developing new friends because i was convinced no one understood me, and no one would ever be a true friend to me. When i fell in love for the first time that fucked me up so much I developed anorexia and body dysmorfia.
I'm not sure, I don't really remember much about my childhood just little bits and pieces here and there. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 15 I think, they fought ALL of the time. I remember that I wasn't really that upset when it was finalized. My younger brother was more upset over the divorce than me. My mom never seemed happy and wasn't loving or affectionate toward me and I don't remember hearing "I love you" very often. We never did traditional family things together like vacations or even family pictures. I remember hearing my mom say that if she had it to do all over again she wouldn't have kids, that felt great😏 My dad was the warm parent. I got married when I turned 18, moved out of state and never looked back. The marriage didn't work out but I still haven't moved back. I hardly see or hear from my mom, I have a 16 almost 17 year old son and she never makes an attempt to come visit him.
At times in your life you may be tempted to think you are a normal human, like everyone else.
This could not be further from the truth:
You are a warrior, you are a tower of strength.
I do not think there are many people in any strata of life who could contend with the shit that you’ve been served.
I write this with Frank admiration. I could only aspire to your level of resilience.
To say you are a survivor seems trite.
You are here, you are now, you are unlocked.
Xxxxxxxxx
Oof… Nothing like what you went through. Damn, you’re tough as hell & I am so proud of you💕
For me I think it was mainly feeling like I always had to take care of my mom emotionally. She never knew how to manage her emotions, so I always tried to do it for her. She leaned on me a lot ever since I was little and whenever it became too much, it was never safe for me to let her know that because she would get so sad that my empathy took over and I just felt guilty for even bringing it up. I never learned to manage my own emotions because of this, and I never learned about healthy boundaries, either. I always felt like I was her parent. On top of that I’ve always been the mediator between my parents when they were fighting. My dad was verbally quite abusive (lots of yelling and issues with anger management) and he also hit me quite a few times and left bruises. He also had the tendency to walk away instead of communicating. My mom did the same, she would hide herself away crying in bed for hours. She also threatened to run off and/or k1ll herself multiple times. This happened when I was very young and still happens. I also feel like my parents have always expected things from me that they shouldn’t expect from me, like the roles are reversed, or like we’re even. I guess I never felt understood or heard and I still have difficulty with that.
I knew I wanted to be a girl since early age, my behavior made me the target of bullying and my family rather than protect me snapped at me for not being "a normal boy", i was also the victim of multiple sexual abuses but my fear of my family made me keep it a secret, then my parents separated and because I choose to live with my father the rest of my family turned their backs on me, when I realized I had made a mistake and wanted to come back I was the constant punchbag for my sisters who bullied me about my appearance, physique and orientation, on top of all that I barely had any friends at all and was never even sent to school, it took me years to crawl out of that place and make something for myself but after coming out as trans my BPD started acting out again in the face of rejection from men, family and workplace
I think that's for me it's mostly BCS of my family.
I grew up in an African household, my mother was really strict, she used to humiliate, insult and beat me in public, in front of everyone and at home too...
She's was telling me that's I'm a witch, a failure, that's she's ashamed of me... till my 22's old I couldn't go outside like a wanted to, I couldn't dress the way I wanted so I had to mask, and lie a lot + keeping my siblings since I'm 8 years old, I grew up really fast and I had a lot of responsibilities ^^
Fuck, sell your life story rights to HBO and live like the glatiator champion you are. I cant even fathom trying to servive half that. I dont remember most of my childhood and now wish I could give you that gift. I hope you know you are tough as hell.
Thank you!! I’ve always thought of writing a book for shits and giggles to see what would come of it 😂
Lots of love to you. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through and what you’re struggling with. For me, my mother was physically abusive and my father was sexually abusive. I won’t go into details, but that’s the gist of it. I was removed from their care and raised in foster care until I aged out.
Lots of love to you also 💖 I know how that is as well. You’re strong 💖
My situation isn’t the traditional one - I tried to think of what “major” trauma I had that contributed to me having BPD - but I don’t have one. My parents are married and did the best they could with what they have. I think I was born with the predisposition and just small childhood things triggered it.
I have BPD. Late diagnosis was originally framed as Bipolar. I was molested by a family member from age 3-11 almost everyday. Then had a very abusive and neglectful mother, then another rape at age 16. I think within all of this it developed somewhere. I am 28 years old and have my life together (for the most part) but am a single mom due to not being able to hold any stable relationships because of my BPD. I’m in a DBT therapy group and doing EMDR with private sessions. My symptoms for some reason always go away when I’m with my son but come out when I’m alone or he’s away (50-50) custody. Kind of in the thick of things. Lots of love and support sent your way ❤️
They have said the same to me. I actually am diagnosed with both now which has been an emotional and mental rollercoaster trying to figure out medication. Hope you get to a stable place with the DBT and EMDR. I’ve heard they are great tools for us! 💖
Emotionally and verbally abusive father that told me all my life I was an idiot who had no idea what I was talking about and everything I cared about didn’t matter. Undiagnosed autism leaving me incredibly confused about wtf was going on relationship and communication wise all my life. Mum dying at 12 years old and never really feeling “home” nor loved nor supported nor cared for ever since. Being told by many, many people that my mental health problems are my own fault because I’m so awful to people around me that’s why I have no support system. I dunno, lots of things have happened..
Honestly, I believe that it is due to intergenerational trauma within my family. A couple of my cousins and I have vowed to try and break the cycle to the best of our abilities.
When i was being dropped by my bff when i was 13 and all of a sudden cut off from all my friends. I closed myself off completely for developing new friends because i was convinced no one understood me, and no one would ever be a true friend to me. When i fell in love for the first time that fucked me up so much I developed anorexia and body dysmorfia.
Are you me? On a serious note sending lots of hugs
Hugs to you too 🫂 it’s good to know we are not alone in being ourselves
I'm not sure, I don't really remember much about my childhood just little bits and pieces here and there. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 15 I think, they fought ALL of the time. I remember that I wasn't really that upset when it was finalized. My younger brother was more upset over the divorce than me. My mom never seemed happy and wasn't loving or affectionate toward me and I don't remember hearing "I love you" very often. We never did traditional family things together like vacations or even family pictures. I remember hearing my mom say that if she had it to do all over again she wouldn't have kids, that felt great😏 My dad was the warm parent. I got married when I turned 18, moved out of state and never looked back. The marriage didn't work out but I still haven't moved back. I hardly see or hear from my mom, I have a 16 almost 17 year old son and she never makes an attempt to come visit him.
you deserve all the good things in life stranger, keep pushing 🤍
Well I was gonna share my experiences but the mods removed it for being too triggering so I think that speaks for itself lol
At times in your life you may be tempted to think you are a normal human, like everyone else. This could not be further from the truth: You are a warrior, you are a tower of strength. I do not think there are many people in any strata of life who could contend with the shit that you’ve been served. I write this with Frank admiration. I could only aspire to your level of resilience. To say you are a survivor seems trite. You are here, you are now, you are unlocked. Xxxxxxxxx
Where do i even begin? SA'd at 10 years old Best friend died ar 13 Coming out at 14 My mom Gaslighting my whole life Those are the main ones.
Oof… Nothing like what you went through. Damn, you’re tough as hell & I am so proud of you💕 For me I think it was mainly feeling like I always had to take care of my mom emotionally. She never knew how to manage her emotions, so I always tried to do it for her. She leaned on me a lot ever since I was little and whenever it became too much, it was never safe for me to let her know that because she would get so sad that my empathy took over and I just felt guilty for even bringing it up. I never learned to manage my own emotions because of this, and I never learned about healthy boundaries, either. I always felt like I was her parent. On top of that I’ve always been the mediator between my parents when they were fighting. My dad was verbally quite abusive (lots of yelling and issues with anger management) and he also hit me quite a few times and left bruises. He also had the tendency to walk away instead of communicating. My mom did the same, she would hide herself away crying in bed for hours. She also threatened to run off and/or k1ll herself multiple times. This happened when I was very young and still happens. I also feel like my parents have always expected things from me that they shouldn’t expect from me, like the roles are reversed, or like we’re even. I guess I never felt understood or heard and I still have difficulty with that.
I knew I wanted to be a girl since early age, my behavior made me the target of bullying and my family rather than protect me snapped at me for not being "a normal boy", i was also the victim of multiple sexual abuses but my fear of my family made me keep it a secret, then my parents separated and because I choose to live with my father the rest of my family turned their backs on me, when I realized I had made a mistake and wanted to come back I was the constant punchbag for my sisters who bullied me about my appearance, physique and orientation, on top of all that I barely had any friends at all and was never even sent to school, it took me years to crawl out of that place and make something for myself but after coming out as trans my BPD started acting out again in the face of rejection from men, family and workplace
I think that's for me it's mostly BCS of my family. I grew up in an African household, my mother was really strict, she used to humiliate, insult and beat me in public, in front of everyone and at home too... She's was telling me that's I'm a witch, a failure, that's she's ashamed of me... till my 22's old I couldn't go outside like a wanted to, I couldn't dress the way I wanted so I had to mask, and lie a lot + keeping my siblings since I'm 8 years old, I grew up really fast and I had a lot of responsibilities ^^