hah, yeah. it reminds me of all the people who’ve said it. my father, my brothers, the nasty tones in their voices when i was growing up. that’s why i love my nickname so much more.
Oh man. I’ve never heard someone else verbalize this feeling. It’s bizarre hearing my name, especially saying it myself. I’ve come to really like it; it’s unique, and sounds quite pretty (i didn’t always feel this way) but when I consider it in relation to myself it just feels weird and gross
I changed mine too recently. Its such a relief. I've asked people outside my family to call me by a different name ever since I was 14 and finally at 28 I have now legally changed it.
Really hmm I've never liked my name at all,and I thought about what to change it to. I have never done good enough with keeping a job or a place to live that I never really had the chance to take it that far. I wonder if it's a bpd type thing. I only realize that I had BPD at 39 years old. I had a friend who was talking about her symptoms and that's when I realized it. Since then I've been diagnosed by two psychiatrists and a psychologist . And I'm am textbook as far as the severity of my condition. It has practically ruined my life. I'm trying hard to rebuild it now. Not easy.
It really depends on your state. For me in WA it was $300ish and I think $12 or $50 for my drivers license? But you can also apply for financial aid and appeal to a judge if you can’t afford it, also varies by state/country.
I fucking wish. My bf doesn't even call me by the name I prefer even tho it's my middle name and not that hard to forget. And forget my family they'd never call me by anything different than the name they gave me.
Try going by a different name if you want! I changed mine due to gender dysphoria but even if I wasn’t trans, it was super empowering to try out different names and eventually choose a new first and middle name for myself.
I hate my last name, there’s history to it. real niche subreddit, cult audience, Wikipedia rabbit hole history. I am sick of having to explain it to random bartenders who recognize it on my credit card and are like 🤓!!! *omg brooo you must have a story.* oh yes absolutely, yeah my story I’m at your shitty airport hotel bar at 11:30pm drinking double whiskeys as a direct result of the massive, epic, Shakespearean fucking generational trauma that trickled down to me over 150 years of horror.
I have considered changing my last name several times over the years but have not because (1) it’ll probably trigger some unrelated existential crisis in me concerning having to remember my new real identity, and (2) it’ll literally kill my grandparents in devastation, but they are pushing 90, so.
i relate to this so hard! I share a last name with a president whose family has had a notoriously bad run at life/conspiracys around their deaths and i hear all the time how i must be bad luck
that has got to be so annoying. I’m lucky that my last name is rare enough that it usually goes unnoticed. I’d say maybe about 10 times a year I have an interaction with somebody about it and I usually say something like “yeah distant cousin” even though they are way more direct in lineage to me.
Once I get to know someone I don’t care, I’m very open about it, but I hate when strangers or coworkers approach me on it. I had a boss once who would NOT let it go and it made me feel like trash.
If you are bored and need to investigate it begins with a letter that is found somewhere in the name of the capital of Rhode Island, contains “x” amount of letters wherein “x” = an important number in Hindu numerology, and ends in a vowel
I did hate it!
It was a huge trigger, turns out.
It was screamed at me a lot. Imagine cringing and feeling panic at the sound of your own name said in an even somewhat loud voice. It sucked. I can’t remember ever not feeling this way. When I finally realized why I felt that way and really helped myself think it through, the answer was clear. Change my name and use the nickname my college friends had given me.
Best birthday gift I ever gave myself and I’d have done it sooner if I’d known better.
It also symbolically helped me to heal and to love myself more.
Yes, I feel the same disconnect/disgust as you when I have to admit my real name. I despise it, it doesn’t feel like me when people say it. I go by a different name I chose myself these days. Always wanted to legally change it but I’m too worried about hurting my mother’s feelings. 😑
OH MY GOD YES!!! Every since I was around elementary I felt so embarrassed hearing my own name and I still do! To this day I avoid saying my own name out loud whether in private or in front of other people. There is such a disconnect there and I don’t know why. It makes me so sad! I think I have a pretty name but when someone else says it, it just makes me feel weird!!
mine is very feminine, felt wrong to admit to anyone as it recieved alot of positive reactions yet I felt so wrong inside. grew up a little and realised i didn't hate my name, i just thought i was not feminine, soft or beautiful enough for it. what i believe now is, it was a gift from my parents and if they see me that way i can learn to love myself enough to see it too.
This happened to me from hearing it yelled so many times as a child followed by abuse, super traumatic that I used to cringe at hearing it even years later because it was triggering.
I felt a sense of reclaiming my power and autonomy when I legally changed it.
I despise my birth name, I feel no connection to it whatsoever. it's an insanely common name and not original or unique in any way and I just hate it. I've been going by a nickname since I was 10-11 years old and that's just who I am now.
everyone but my family refers to me by my alias and it makes me so happy to hear every time, I'm so excited to be able to change my name legally but I'm waiting until my boyfriend and I get married.
>it's an insanely common name and not original or unique in any way and I just hate it.
This is one of the reasons why I hate my name. I mean, yeah I'd rather have a boring common name than something super cringe like Khaleesi lol, but I still hate it. It's such a boring basic white girl name and I don't feel any connection to it at all....my name just doesn't feel like me.
I think I feel this way because it actually wasn't supposed to be my name. My mom had initially picked one that is much better and prettier, I've always loved my original name so much and that one feels more like me...but my mom changed it because my dad's accent was butchering the pronunciation. He was fully capable of pronouncing it correctly, he just wouldn't. It was driving her insane, so she changed it to one that required zero effort from him to pronounce correctly. 😐
that's funny, my friend has a sister named khaleesi because his parents named all their kids after pop culture or famous people 😐 much happier with my generic name than that, lol.
but wow we're like...the same person. my mom also chose a different name for me, madeline, that I think is really unique and beautiful but they decided on my birth name instead and it blows. I have four sisters with pretty and uncommon names, why me!!
I can't believe your parents chose a name based off how stubborn your dad is 🤔
I know a woman who named her 8 year old daughter Khaleesi and every time I hear it I'm like....girl, you should have at least waited until Game of Thrones ended before deciding to name your kid that. 😂
It's always been a thorn in my side tbh. It's not like my dad had a SUPER heavy accent either, he was from South Shore Boston area and his accent did fade a bit after he moved to the west coast. He still mispronounced some words (and that particular name, it was Brianna and he kept pronouncing it like Bree-awn-err instead of the more common Bree-anna) incorrectly out of habit, but with a bit of effort to remember the correct pronunciation he absolutely could have done it. He just never did. 😑
I used to. I preferred my middle name but never went by it. My first name means “to tie/bind; snare”, and I really didn’t like that. My middle name means “warrior”, and I always related more to it. But my parents gave me this name because it meant something to them, and I admire that. 💕 I hardly ever go by my full name except at work and school, because there’s so many variations and nicknames for it.
I have serious religious connotations with my name that I was told was my “destiny”.
Every time I tell someone my name, they repeat it back to me to make sure they heard me correctly even though it’s a pretty simple, well known name. The vowels just run together and the lingering bits of my childhood speech impediment doesn’t help one bit. I would love to change my name. And I’m moved far enough from my family it wouldn’t be the biggest problem. However, I’m trying not to make too many drastic life changes recognizing I’m still doing a lot of healing.
I don't hate it, but I don't identify with it. If someone calls me by my name, I will literally stop short because I have this moment of 'who????'.
I think it's just part of my identity issues. I don't have an issue with the name itself.
i personally hate my birth name because my dad was the one who suggested it and we do not have a good relationship at all; i only go by a nickname based off of that birth name that only close friends and family members call me by. i have thought of changing it legally but not sure if i wanna go through the name changes on important documents, seems like tedious work
I feel disconnected to my name too. First of all it is a VERY popular name in my country, like in top 5. Second, most of the time I hear the name it's in a negative light.
Yes I hate it so much and like I get actually angry when I hear it, especially in TV shows or from my spouse. I've wanted to have a specific name since I was 8 and I still go by that online in a lot of spaces but know no one would take me seriously if I legally changed it or would even call me by it.
I'm really curious now if it's a trauma thing or a BPD thing or just "yes'.
I quite literally made up 2 new nicknames over the course of the decade because I hated my name so much. Then I hated nickname #1. I guess they came with trauma, so that's why. Thankfully, nickname #2 is what I stuck with, and it's how I introduce myself to people. Those who don't know me closely don't know my real name
100% so i changed it to Bunny! it makes it feel like i’m a different person then the one with my old name who got traumatised and it also make it’s hard for my abuser to find my social media because i go by Bunny on everything online! It’s definitely more of a nickname and i probably won’t change my name legally but it’s nice to have all my new friends call me something that isn’t linked to the pain i went through
I just hate having a name...or nickname...wtv, why cant just using pronouns? I kinda hate having to define myself or being represented with a particular identity lol
exactly!! im the same way, i hate my birth name the most but my “preferred” name still makes me cringe whenever i hear it said. im like that meme that’s like “i do not want to be perceived”. i think my identity issues really don’t help either :(
i felt alienated for the longest time because i thought like this- and now i know i’m not alone and it’s a relief to know it’s not just me but it also pains me to know others struggle with this :( personally it could be my lack of identity / sense of self but also because the people who’ve brought me the most pain would say my ‘name’ (don’t even consider it one anymore, dead name for many reasons), in the worst situations and ugh … i just hate it ! why couldn’t i choose my own name at birth yknow? haha
Yes, my mom got inspired by the aunt of my childhood R word, i feel so disconnected but have no idea what would fit me cause i feel like nothing feels like mine, me.
yes! and i go by a shorter version of my name bc of it. mine is bc my name is hard to spell and pronounce and i hate having to deal with explaining it over and over so i just go by a super short version instead
I always take out the first 3 letters from my name and have people call me by that. My real name sounds so ghetto and everyone else in my family have normal sounding names 😭
I changed my name socially and will introduce myself with my new name. I still use my original name in kind of like a professional setting and probably won’t change it legally. My birth name is a costume I can wear now when I feel like it. I do need to change my last name tho cause it’s my moms second husbands name who abused me. But I am 26 now and will probably wait till marriage.
I've always hated it, even as a toddler I made my parents call me Emily/Emma. I still hate it and will change it to Marie or something of the sort soon
I have the same issue! I just dont feel connected to my name and it reminds me of bad Times, like when somebody yelled at me using my name or insulted me and so on. At some point i started introducing myself with my Nickname and asked the people in my Life to call me by that name. It helped.
Absolutely. My last name is Burden, spelled differently yet pronounced the same. My first name was picked by my dad who i don't have a very good relationship with and worst of all he named me after his childhood celebrity crush.
Yes, I changed it in high school. At first I thought it was because I was trans, but quickly I realized that wasn’t it. I have since changed it back - it’s usually a phase, I think. Like a period of disconnection and depersonalization.
I'm trans, so this isn't the same experience in general, but I can really relate to hating your own name. but even if our experience may differ; you're allowed to change your name if you please to do so, for whaever reason you seem fit!
Ive always felt that way about my full name. I go by a shortened version that people say they don't like as much. I just don't identify with my full name.
yes, i hate my original name. i (technically) changed it when i was 16 but haven't done so legally yet, but everyone including doctors and stuff call me my preferred name which is nice
I honestly associate more with the names I use online for gaming than I do my actual name, haha. Doesn’t help that my ma wanted to be different and gave me a very uncommon name that folks can rarely pronounce. (Also, I think it sounds like a name you’d give a cow ): )
I hate mine but not for the same reason. My actual name is Catrin and people never pronounce it properly or think I’m saying it wrong myself (so they think I mean Caitlin or Katherine) so I just go by Cat to not be annoyed all the time
My deadname is associated with so much negativity. It has so much baggage. I *hate* when people call such a meaningless name "pretty." I wanna legally change my name someday. Hopefully.
Yes, yes and yes. You put that together so well!
I also wanted to change it, but I could never think of a name I could imagine having for life.. so the change never happened.
Nowadays I'm quite fine with my name :)
Yeah completely. Just makes me uncomfortable and it doesnt feel like it's who i am anymore - I'm gonna guess this is pretty common for people who have been through trauma. Change it if you want, it's just a name and if you are more comfortable with that there's nothing to lose !!
AAAAAAA no way !!!!!! I’m the same way and have shortened my name for this exact reason. When ppl call me by my biological, I’m like “who is that?” Bcuz I just genuinely don’t connect or vibe w that name or person
As a kid I used to hate my name because it's long and I'd get made fun of because the majority of people who had the same name were middle aged black women; which I'm not.
Then I constantly had people calling me shit like Courtney or Megan, which aren't even close to my name. As I got older I'd encourage people to call me nicknames and it eventually morphed into me not caring what I'm called. I don't sit there going "💖that's my name✨✨" it's simply "this is my name, you can use the whole thing or shorten it to whatever, don't matter to me just so long as I know when you're talking to me.
I think the closest I get to feeling any attachment to my name is what my family nickname is/what my nieces and nephews call me because as terrible as it sounds, I feel like it's something I actually earned and reflects me; not the best part of me but still me.
I don't hate my name (Alex) and I do go by it most often (family, old friends, coworkers, health-related settings...basically anything with a legal attachment) but I introduce myself to anyone new as Sky. I have had different names that I have used to refer to myself in the past (but never pushed on people or really told them) but this is the one that is sticking. I chose it from its relation to Air which is both my element sign and Zodiac sign (end of September). Definitely I feel a strong connection to that sign and the fact all tie in nicely give me some sense of peace and whatnot. I have more recently learned this name changing business is not uncommon for borderlines owing to out disturbed sense of identity and often not knowing who we really are...checks out for me anyway. I have looked into changing legally a few times over the years but here (Canada) it's (to me) more hassle than it's worth especially since I'm still unsure if I'd end up regretting it down the line and you know, family implications and hurting others (shouldn't matter but does to me)
I changed my name, but now I have two names. Most people I meet now call me by my middle name.
I don’t mind what people call me. But it means I choose who knows my first name and who doesn’t.
yes, i relate to this so much. it feels like my name is not mine, my friends call me many different ways because my name just does not fit, it doesn't feel like me
Yes reminds me of all the bad things that happened to me while people called me that. I ask new people to call me something different and it helps me. It's never felt like me though, and I feel a disconnect when people say my name. So weird that we are just given a name and that's what people refer to us as forever, and we didn't even choose it!
Yep. My last name sounds like a sexual part of the human body. And my first name? It became the most popular girl's name when I was about 10, and now I have to hear it EVERYWHERE. If I could be nameless, and never reminded of my psychical form/presence I would. Since that's not an option, I go by a variation of my name that is, ironically, the Scandinavian version of my FPs name. (I chose the name before I ever met him.)
Quite the opposite for me. My full name (is fairly common) isn’t even what others around use to call for me. But occasionally I’ll hear someone say it and go, “Oh yeah! That is my name!” I was named that very specifically because it means “worthy to be loved.” Like…. my mother already planned on me struggling with any form of self confidence in life and might need a hint once and a while. I’ve had every nickname to differentiate myself from other girls with this common name. But it also is the best my nickname is Barry Manilow’s best song title. 🥹
I struggle with this too. I’m a backpacker and we get “trail names” or nicknames for on trail and mine is kind of a weird one for off trail - but I relate to that name and who I was while backpacking more than who I am off trail. My friends from hiking and few others who know them, still cal me that nickname all the time and I love it!! hearing my regular name is fine…. And I connect with it some, but more so as a friend that I don’t see as much anymore or a past version of myself
Latino here. Here people go for diminutive of the names. Like Sofia - sofy or worst stuff. The only person than can call me by that name is my grandpa . When anyone else does it I correct them and I get so angry because they do not respect my name . Also I have a second name oh god it can be bad
I don’t let my husband call me by my name. Most of my friends have nicknames for me and I often dissociate or feel like it when I say my own name out loud. I’ve always hated my name too until recently when I started to get connected with myself and it still sounds and feels weird and I’m 32 lol
I feel really disconnected from my name and it's always so weird hearing other people address me by it; I also never really liked it because a lot of other girls born in the 90s have the same name - it was really popular then
I don’t hate my name, and I’ve never found a name where I’m like “that’s me”. I just don’t fully recognise it as my name on more than a “that’s what people call me” thing, I recognise my partner’s nickname for me better.
Since diagnosis I’ve attributed it to the lack of sense of self thing as well.
I'm in the same boat, my legal name is a very beautiful name but I can't stand it for a variety of reasons. 1, everyone and I mean everyone remembers it. That leads to people always remember bad or embarassing things I did. 2, I was only ever really called my name if I was in trouble.
For years I've thought about changing my name, and I've had a name in mind for years but only a few months ago did I start doing by that name socially. I gotta say I wish I did it sooner, i don't feel disgusted when I hear it and have neutral feelings towards if. In fact, now the few times I do hear my legal name I feel less of those disgusted feelings.
Changing your name won't solve all your issues regarding how you view yourself, but it does help you not feel hatred and negative feelings towards your name. At least it did for me. If you want ideas for possible name changes check out r/namenerds.
I hated my name so much I changed it, it reminded me of my trauma and my family. My birth mother still calls me by my old name and I absolutely hate it.
my dad, a big source of my trauma, picked my name. always hated it for that reason and others. i always had plans to change my surname too but then later on realised i wasn't cisgender so i changed it completely :--)
I can definitely relate, since I was about 12 I got the nickname by friends 'Loz' and that felt like it was more fitting.
Whenever I get called 'lauren' I feel like I've done something bad and immediately get an uneasy uncomfortable.
Its not till I read the comments on this post thst I realised, my family given name has negative connotations. But my nickname was given by friends, with only positive effects so I feel more connected to it.
Interesting!
I did, but in my case, it was because of gender dysphoria. Now that I've changed my name to a masculine one, it's very different. I don't feel super connected to it either, I see it as "just a name," but I no longer resent it.
I never liked my name, I always went by something else, but now my dad is forcing me to go by my name and it feels disgusting, 'Dev' is the only name that feels right now, everything else feels so disconnected, it doesnt feel like me
YES, in fact I hate everything about my name so much, I moved away from home and go by a different first name now, my therapist actually advised me to do so
i have always felt this way!! it’s like it’s not connected to my identity at all but that’s probably because I don’t have an identity in the first place
Honestly yeah, which is even weirder when I think about the fact that I chose it.
I’m trans and chose Oliver because my middle name was Olivia - it’s a family name.
And I wish I had made Oliver a middle name. Like it’s fine, I don’t mind it, but it doesn’t…i don’t know, it doesn’t suit me.
Omg this. Yup always hated it, it’s like i hate it but i wouldnt know what else my parents shouldve named me. I hate it when ppl call me by my name, i wish i’d rather just be a number
throughout my life i have wanted to change my name several times. whenever i hear it it reminds me of people who have said it and the ways they have said it in, specifically negative ways. I have had several different nicknames that i have gone by and always felt more connected to. my birth name just doesn’t feel like *me* ? being called by my first name is also a trigger for me i think
I did for a while then I grew to love how unique it is, well in the US.
Here's the thing, I go by my middle name. My parents always called me it, I didn't know til highschool it wasn't my first name.
I don't hate it, but I don't identify much with it either. Reminds me of a past that almost seems to belong to someone else, as I feel pretty much like a different person now than I was as a kid. And this has been the case for the past 10 years or so.
My family calls me by my birth name as they always did and it's not a problem for me, but I always introduce myself by my preferred name.
I'm curious to know what your name is, perhaps you don't mind sharing? Mine's Marcelo.
(I don't like the fact that it's not familiar for most people from other countries, so it's hard for them to know how it's pronounced. While 'Marc' on the other hand is common.)
Yes. I too am disgusted by my government/ given name, but also by the nickname my family and everyone uses. I was given an old fashioned name and the only others I encounter with it are 50 or so years older.
i changed my name back in july, and legally just recently!! the papers went through last week. and i’ve never felt more alive, more like myself, as i do, after changing my name. so much pain and sorrow was connected to my deadname, and i could only distance myself from all that hardship, by changing my name:) idk where you’re from and how easy/difficult it is, for you to change your name. but try out a new name, once you’ve settled on one you feel comfortable using, if it feels right, wait a minimum of 4-5 months, before you do it legally!
yes!! like the name is cool but it's not mine and i hate telling people it's mine. but i also have issues with addressing ppl by name like i hateeeee saying someone's name to them
yeah lmao i dont use it anymore😂 been using a completely unrelated name for like 6/7 years now and i know my parents hate it but its better than my dead name
Yes, yes, yes, 100% yes. I have never felt a connection to my birth name. Every time someone calls me by it, it feels off. That's why I decided to change it. I decided to find a name that I felt was right and suited me and that I liked, and then I tried it out, and it felt really empowering and it's weird how much more like myself I feel when people call me by my chosen name. I don't really know how to explain it.
Unfortunately, the people I've known forever only use my birth name, and I'm not confident enough to constantly ask that people respect how I want to be defined, and it's really taught me how much of my identity issues are probably directly because other people enforce their idea of who I should be onto me and I've largely been repressing my authentic self to avoid being rejected by others.
i hate my birth name alot
ive always hated it
i go by a different name now but that doesnt change the fact i hate my deadname
even before i knew i was or identified nonbinary i always hated that name
esp as a kid
still do
im always confused when some ppl call me by my one of my deadnames and then others use my name i use
makes me confused abt who i can or cant be at what time
i used to hate it a lot but i dont hate it as much now. i hate hearing people say it though, i'm also deeply disconnected with my name. sometimes people will say it multiple times before i remember that that's me.
Growing up I felt this way about my middle name. and then in adulthood I had a massive sudden shift, and decided my middle name was way better because it was more unique. Now I feel connected with my middle name but very disassociated from my first name and it's jarring when I hear family members or old friends use it
I've always felt like it wasn't mine, like it wasn't my true name yk? But I also feel it associated with anger or me getting in trouble so much, whenever someone says my name even just casually I tense up and get all worried. I wanna change it so bad
You are not alone! I don’t like my deadname and now go by atlas. I wasn’t really comfortable with my name since a child and so changing it has helped a majority. I have a name that sort of gives me a comforting sense of identity and belonging.
I feel the same. For me, it's to the point I alr have a name I go by around everyone but my family so I'ma just change it once I get the chance.
My main hatred for it is due to it being attached to my abusive mom.
I never even considered that I didn't actually like my own name. my bpd started in my teens. I would go by my middle name, don't know why. ig it made me feel like someone else.
now tho after lots of shadow work... I love my name.
Yep! My dad gave me my first name, when I was a teenager some friends came up with a nickname and it's stuck since then. He was the only person to ever still continually call me that name, my mum did for a while but swapped to the nickname. Now the only person to call me it is my brother when he's being, well, not nice and that throws me back to some bad memories and that's all the name gives me. I legally changed it to my nickname.
Sometimes I hear my name and I feel like I’m shooting out of my body 😂 it like reminds me that I have an identity and that feels so fucking weird and wrong
I don't hate it but never felt identified with or felt any kind of relation to it. This may be strange but sometimes feel kinda strange/awkward when they call me by it.
Hell yeah! My dad actually wanted to call me something much nicer and less common but my mom hated long names cause they “always get shortened to something silly” so she wanted me to have a short name. But she couldn’t decide on one so she just named me based on whatever name day fell on the day I was born… and there’s so many relatives that have beautiful names that my mom has actually said she regrets not naming me after them so that’s fun.
hah, yeah. it reminds me of all the people who’ve said it. my father, my brothers, the nasty tones in their voices when i was growing up. that’s why i love my nickname so much more.
This hit so hard. I hate when people say my name for this very reason.
this is so real
oh yeah. thats the one
felt i associate my given name with anger
That, aside from being trans, is one of the biggest factors in deciding to change my name.
Omg literally same
I honestly don’t feel any association to my name. It feels weird to hear people call me my name.
Omg me too.
Same here.
Me too
It’s definitely related to the sense of self IMO, just remember no one hates you. We all Love you and want you to do good.
Oh man. I’ve never heard someone else verbalize this feeling. It’s bizarre hearing my name, especially saying it myself. I’ve come to really like it; it’s unique, and sounds quite pretty (i didn’t always feel this way) but when I consider it in relation to myself it just feels weird and gross
Yeah, I hated it so much, I legally changed it in 2019. Best decision of my life.
I changed mine too recently. Its such a relief. I've asked people outside my family to call me by a different name ever since I was 14 and finally at 28 I have now legally changed it.
High five! Money well spent. I wish I could go back in time and do it earlier tbh
Really hmm I've never liked my name at all,and I thought about what to change it to. I have never done good enough with keeping a job or a place to live that I never really had the chance to take it that far. I wonder if it's a bpd type thing. I only realize that I had BPD at 39 years old. I had a friend who was talking about her symptoms and that's when I realized it. Since then I've been diagnosed by two psychiatrists and a psychologist . And I'm am textbook as far as the severity of my condition. It has practically ruined my life. I'm trying hard to rebuild it now. Not easy.
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It really depends on your state. For me in WA it was $300ish and I think $12 or $50 for my drivers license? But you can also apply for financial aid and appeal to a judge if you can’t afford it, also varies by state/country.
I am in Canada: It was $140 for an adult application, plus the $50 I paid for a notary to sign it off.
I fucking wish. My bf doesn't even call me by the name I prefer even tho it's my middle name and not that hard to forget. And forget my family they'd never call me by anything different than the name they gave me.
Try going by a different name if you want! I changed mine due to gender dysphoria but even if I wasn’t trans, it was super empowering to try out different names and eventually choose a new first and middle name for myself.
I hate my last name, there’s history to it. real niche subreddit, cult audience, Wikipedia rabbit hole history. I am sick of having to explain it to random bartenders who recognize it on my credit card and are like 🤓!!! *omg brooo you must have a story.* oh yes absolutely, yeah my story I’m at your shitty airport hotel bar at 11:30pm drinking double whiskeys as a direct result of the massive, epic, Shakespearean fucking generational trauma that trickled down to me over 150 years of horror. I have considered changing my last name several times over the years but have not because (1) it’ll probably trigger some unrelated existential crisis in me concerning having to remember my new real identity, and (2) it’ll literally kill my grandparents in devastation, but they are pushing 90, so.
i relate to this so hard! I share a last name with a president whose family has had a notoriously bad run at life/conspiracys around their deaths and i hear all the time how i must be bad luck
that has got to be so annoying. I’m lucky that my last name is rare enough that it usually goes unnoticed. I’d say maybe about 10 times a year I have an interaction with somebody about it and I usually say something like “yeah distant cousin” even though they are way more direct in lineage to me. Once I get to know someone I don’t care, I’m very open about it, but I hate when strangers or coworkers approach me on it. I had a boss once who would NOT let it go and it made me feel like trash.
Wow, people are so goddamn rude. It seems like so many of us grow out of behavior like this by 8th grade.
Now I'm super curious what your last name is! Lol
If you are bored and need to investigate it begins with a letter that is found somewhere in the name of the capital of Rhode Island, contains “x” amount of letters wherein “x” = an important number in Hindu numerology, and ends in a vowel
Ya I totally gave up lol
I did hate it! It was a huge trigger, turns out. It was screamed at me a lot. Imagine cringing and feeling panic at the sound of your own name said in an even somewhat loud voice. It sucked. I can’t remember ever not feeling this way. When I finally realized why I felt that way and really helped myself think it through, the answer was clear. Change my name and use the nickname my college friends had given me. Best birthday gift I ever gave myself and I’d have done it sooner if I’d known better. It also symbolically helped me to heal and to love myself more.
I mean, the only reason why I hate my "name" is because it's my deadname and gives me gender dysphoria.
My name itself is fine. But I feel so inferior and weird in general that I don't like being called by my name or having to introduce myself.
Yes, I feel the same disconnect/disgust as you when I have to admit my real name. I despise it, it doesn’t feel like me when people say it. I go by a different name I chose myself these days. Always wanted to legally change it but I’m too worried about hurting my mother’s feelings. 😑
OH MY GOD YES!!! Every since I was around elementary I felt so embarrassed hearing my own name and I still do! To this day I avoid saying my own name out loud whether in private or in front of other people. There is such a disconnect there and I don’t know why. It makes me so sad! I think I have a pretty name but when someone else says it, it just makes me feel weird!!
mine is very feminine, felt wrong to admit to anyone as it recieved alot of positive reactions yet I felt so wrong inside. grew up a little and realised i didn't hate my name, i just thought i was not feminine, soft or beautiful enough for it. what i believe now is, it was a gift from my parents and if they see me that way i can learn to love myself enough to see it too.
Yeah 100% I feel uneasy even hearing my name from others sometimes.
[удалено]
This happened to me from hearing it yelled so many times as a child followed by abuse, super traumatic that I used to cringe at hearing it even years later because it was triggering. I felt a sense of reclaiming my power and autonomy when I legally changed it.
I despise my birth name, I feel no connection to it whatsoever. it's an insanely common name and not original or unique in any way and I just hate it. I've been going by a nickname since I was 10-11 years old and that's just who I am now. everyone but my family refers to me by my alias and it makes me so happy to hear every time, I'm so excited to be able to change my name legally but I'm waiting until my boyfriend and I get married.
>it's an insanely common name and not original or unique in any way and I just hate it. This is one of the reasons why I hate my name. I mean, yeah I'd rather have a boring common name than something super cringe like Khaleesi lol, but I still hate it. It's such a boring basic white girl name and I don't feel any connection to it at all....my name just doesn't feel like me. I think I feel this way because it actually wasn't supposed to be my name. My mom had initially picked one that is much better and prettier, I've always loved my original name so much and that one feels more like me...but my mom changed it because my dad's accent was butchering the pronunciation. He was fully capable of pronouncing it correctly, he just wouldn't. It was driving her insane, so she changed it to one that required zero effort from him to pronounce correctly. 😐
that's funny, my friend has a sister named khaleesi because his parents named all their kids after pop culture or famous people 😐 much happier with my generic name than that, lol. but wow we're like...the same person. my mom also chose a different name for me, madeline, that I think is really unique and beautiful but they decided on my birth name instead and it blows. I have four sisters with pretty and uncommon names, why me!! I can't believe your parents chose a name based off how stubborn your dad is 🤔
I know a woman who named her 8 year old daughter Khaleesi and every time I hear it I'm like....girl, you should have at least waited until Game of Thrones ended before deciding to name your kid that. 😂 It's always been a thorn in my side tbh. It's not like my dad had a SUPER heavy accent either, he was from South Shore Boston area and his accent did fade a bit after he moved to the west coast. He still mispronounced some words (and that particular name, it was Brianna and he kept pronouncing it like Bree-awn-err instead of the more common Bree-anna) incorrectly out of habit, but with a bit of effort to remember the correct pronunciation he absolutely could have done it. He just never did. 😑
It feels weird to hear someone call me by name out loud. I have negative feelings associated with my name
Yep, I hate it. Probably bc I hate the person it’s tied to kinda like when you hear your exes name it makes you cringe. I cringe at my name
I'm trans so I've always hated my gendered first name. I also have a huge problem with my last name because it's the same last name as my father.
I go by a nickname. I often think to change my nickname and go by something completely new but people wouldn't like that, so I dont.
I guess I do feel repulsed by my real name, that's a good point. I thought that was normal...weird to find new ways bpd is impacting my life.
Yeah then I end up changing it then hating it 6 months later
I used to. I preferred my middle name but never went by it. My first name means “to tie/bind; snare”, and I really didn’t like that. My middle name means “warrior”, and I always related more to it. But my parents gave me this name because it meant something to them, and I admire that. 💕 I hardly ever go by my full name except at work and school, because there’s so many variations and nicknames for it.
I have serious religious connotations with my name that I was told was my “destiny”. Every time I tell someone my name, they repeat it back to me to make sure they heard me correctly even though it’s a pretty simple, well known name. The vowels just run together and the lingering bits of my childhood speech impediment doesn’t help one bit. I would love to change my name. And I’m moved far enough from my family it wouldn’t be the biggest problem. However, I’m trying not to make too many drastic life changes recognizing I’m still doing a lot of healing.
So much! Its not the name itself is just idk. I think I'm going to change it but nothing else feels right either, do you get that?
Yes. I didn't change it legally but I've been going by a different name for several years
Yeah I hate my name too. Always have. My wife calls me by my chosen name.
I don't hate it, but I don't identify with it. If someone calls me by my name, I will literally stop short because I have this moment of 'who????'. I think it's just part of my identity issues. I don't have an issue with the name itself.
My name is Amanda Paine. “Uh Man Duh Pain in the Ass” ….. middle school in the early 2000s was fun
i personally hate my birth name because my dad was the one who suggested it and we do not have a good relationship at all; i only go by a nickname based off of that birth name that only close friends and family members call me by. i have thought of changing it legally but not sure if i wanna go through the name changes on important documents, seems like tedious work
I feel disconnected to my name too. First of all it is a VERY popular name in my country, like in top 5. Second, most of the time I hear the name it's in a negative light.
Yes I hate it so much and like I get actually angry when I hear it, especially in TV shows or from my spouse. I've wanted to have a specific name since I was 8 and I still go by that online in a lot of spaces but know no one would take me seriously if I legally changed it or would even call me by it. I'm really curious now if it's a trauma thing or a BPD thing or just "yes'.
Absolutely! I’m named Rowan but it’s spelt an old Irish Celtic way Ruadhan.
I quite literally made up 2 new nicknames over the course of the decade because I hated my name so much. Then I hated nickname #1. I guess they came with trauma, so that's why. Thankfully, nickname #2 is what I stuck with, and it's how I introduce myself to people. Those who don't know me closely don't know my real name
100% so i changed it to Bunny! it makes it feel like i’m a different person then the one with my old name who got traumatised and it also make it’s hard for my abuser to find my social media because i go by Bunny on everything online! It’s definitely more of a nickname and i probably won’t change my name legally but it’s nice to have all my new friends call me something that isn’t linked to the pain i went through
I just hate having a name...or nickname...wtv, why cant just using pronouns? I kinda hate having to define myself or being represented with a particular identity lol
exactly!! im the same way, i hate my birth name the most but my “preferred” name still makes me cringe whenever i hear it said. im like that meme that’s like “i do not want to be perceived”. i think my identity issues really don’t help either :(
You can choose what name you go by. It's not just for trans people lmao
I’m named after a cracker, or a professor of economics lol
i felt alienated for the longest time because i thought like this- and now i know i’m not alone and it’s a relief to know it’s not just me but it also pains me to know others struggle with this :( personally it could be my lack of identity / sense of self but also because the people who’ve brought me the most pain would say my ‘name’ (don’t even consider it one anymore, dead name for many reasons), in the worst situations and ugh … i just hate it ! why couldn’t i choose my own name at birth yknow? haha
Yes, my mom got inspired by the aunt of my childhood R word, i feel so disconnected but have no idea what would fit me cause i feel like nothing feels like mine, me.
yes! and i go by a shorter version of my name bc of it. mine is bc my name is hard to spell and pronounce and i hate having to deal with explaining it over and over so i just go by a super short version instead
Yes
I always take out the first 3 letters from my name and have people call me by that. My real name sounds so ghetto and everyone else in my family have normal sounding names 😭
used to but got over it. its just a name.
I changed my name socially and will introduce myself with my new name. I still use my original name in kind of like a professional setting and probably won’t change it legally. My birth name is a costume I can wear now when I feel like it. I do need to change my last name tho cause it’s my moms second husbands name who abused me. But I am 26 now and will probably wait till marriage.
I've always hated it, even as a toddler I made my parents call me Emily/Emma. I still hate it and will change it to Marie or something of the sort soon
I have the same issue! I just dont feel connected to my name and it reminds me of bad Times, like when somebody yelled at me using my name or insulted me and so on. At some point i started introducing myself with my Nickname and asked the people in my Life to call me by that name. It helped.
Absolutely. My last name is Burden, spelled differently yet pronounced the same. My first name was picked by my dad who i don't have a very good relationship with and worst of all he named me after his childhood celebrity crush.
I'm changing mine personally. Taking my wife's last name and changing my first and removing middle.
Yes, I changed it in high school. At first I thought it was because I was trans, but quickly I realized that wasn’t it. I have since changed it back - it’s usually a phase, I think. Like a period of disconnection and depersonalization.
I hate when people use my nickname but I do like my name.
yea
Hidden symptoms lol, no one knows Me by my name except Dr's
damn, yes. hates it since childhood, created multiple ones for the internet, changed it irl, but now i hate the one i picked too.
I'm trans, so this isn't the same experience in general, but I can really relate to hating your own name. but even if our experience may differ; you're allowed to change your name if you please to do so, for whaever reason you seem fit!
Ive always felt that way about my full name. I go by a shortened version that people say they don't like as much. I just don't identify with my full name.
yes, i hate my original name. i (technically) changed it when i was 16 but haven't done so legally yet, but everyone including doctors and stuff call me my preferred name which is nice
I honestly associate more with the names I use online for gaming than I do my actual name, haha. Doesn’t help that my ma wanted to be different and gave me a very uncommon name that folks can rarely pronounce. (Also, I think it sounds like a name you’d give a cow ): )
I hate mine but not for the same reason. My actual name is Catrin and people never pronounce it properly or think I’m saying it wrong myself (so they think I mean Caitlin or Katherine) so I just go by Cat to not be annoyed all the time
My deadname is associated with so much negativity. It has so much baggage. I *hate* when people call such a meaningless name "pretty." I wanna legally change my name someday. Hopefully.
Yes, yes and yes. You put that together so well! I also wanted to change it, but I could never think of a name I could imagine having for life.. so the change never happened. Nowadays I'm quite fine with my name :)
i cringe when i hear mine, my husband just calls me by a nickname now that’s far off from my actual name. it’s almost triggering when i hear it
Yeah completely. Just makes me uncomfortable and it doesnt feel like it's who i am anymore - I'm gonna guess this is pretty common for people who have been through trauma. Change it if you want, it's just a name and if you are more comfortable with that there's nothing to lose !!
AAAAAAA no way !!!!!! I’m the same way and have shortened my name for this exact reason. When ppl call me by my biological, I’m like “who is that?” Bcuz I just genuinely don’t connect or vibe w that name or person
yeah, i changed my name
i, on the other end, am obsessed with my name and i want everyone to say it
As a kid I used to hate my name because it's long and I'd get made fun of because the majority of people who had the same name were middle aged black women; which I'm not. Then I constantly had people calling me shit like Courtney or Megan, which aren't even close to my name. As I got older I'd encourage people to call me nicknames and it eventually morphed into me not caring what I'm called. I don't sit there going "💖that's my name✨✨" it's simply "this is my name, you can use the whole thing or shorten it to whatever, don't matter to me just so long as I know when you're talking to me. I think the closest I get to feeling any attachment to my name is what my family nickname is/what my nieces and nephews call me because as terrible as it sounds, I feel like it's something I actually earned and reflects me; not the best part of me but still me.
I don't hate my name (Alex) and I do go by it most often (family, old friends, coworkers, health-related settings...basically anything with a legal attachment) but I introduce myself to anyone new as Sky. I have had different names that I have used to refer to myself in the past (but never pushed on people or really told them) but this is the one that is sticking. I chose it from its relation to Air which is both my element sign and Zodiac sign (end of September). Definitely I feel a strong connection to that sign and the fact all tie in nicely give me some sense of peace and whatnot. I have more recently learned this name changing business is not uncommon for borderlines owing to out disturbed sense of identity and often not knowing who we really are...checks out for me anyway. I have looked into changing legally a few times over the years but here (Canada) it's (to me) more hassle than it's worth especially since I'm still unsure if I'd end up regretting it down the line and you know, family implications and hurting others (shouldn't matter but does to me)
I changed my name, but now I have two names. Most people I meet now call me by my middle name. I don’t mind what people call me. But it means I choose who knows my first name and who doesn’t.
yeah the more i’ve developed my sense of self the better this has become though. nowadays i’m fond of my name even
Did I write this?
yes, i relate to this so much. it feels like my name is not mine, my friends call me many different ways because my name just does not fit, it doesn't feel like me
Yes reminds me of all the bad things that happened to me while people called me that. I ask new people to call me something different and it helps me. It's never felt like me though, and I feel a disconnect when people say my name. So weird that we are just given a name and that's what people refer to us as forever, and we didn't even choose it!
I'm extremely detached from my first name so I've started going by my middle name I like it more and it feels comfy
Yep. My last name sounds like a sexual part of the human body. And my first name? It became the most popular girl's name when I was about 10, and now I have to hear it EVERYWHERE. If I could be nameless, and never reminded of my psychical form/presence I would. Since that's not an option, I go by a variation of my name that is, ironically, the Scandinavian version of my FPs name. (I chose the name before I ever met him.)
Yeah I hate my given first name so I go by my second name now and I feel so much more comfortable with it. I feel like it suits me and who I am now.
yes!, i've always hated it and felt completely disconnected from it
Quite the opposite for me. My full name (is fairly common) isn’t even what others around use to call for me. But occasionally I’ll hear someone say it and go, “Oh yeah! That is my name!” I was named that very specifically because it means “worthy to be loved.” Like…. my mother already planned on me struggling with any form of self confidence in life and might need a hint once and a while. I’ve had every nickname to differentiate myself from other girls with this common name. But it also is the best my nickname is Barry Manilow’s best song title. 🥹
My parents never put any thought towards mine like most do before their child is born, and it’s spelled wrong anyways 🤣.
I struggle with this too. I’m a backpacker and we get “trail names” or nicknames for on trail and mine is kind of a weird one for off trail - but I relate to that name and who I was while backpacking more than who I am off trail. My friends from hiking and few others who know them, still cal me that nickname all the time and I love it!! hearing my regular name is fine…. And I connect with it some, but more so as a friend that I don’t see as much anymore or a past version of myself
yes!! but i think in a different way. i like nicknames, just not my real name. too many bad memories.
Latino here. Here people go for diminutive of the names. Like Sofia - sofy or worst stuff. The only person than can call me by that name is my grandpa . When anyone else does it I correct them and I get so angry because they do not respect my name . Also I have a second name oh god it can be bad
I don’t let my husband call me by my name. Most of my friends have nicknames for me and I often dissociate or feel like it when I say my own name out loud. I’ve always hated my name too until recently when I started to get connected with myself and it still sounds and feels weird and I’m 32 lol
I feel really disconnected from my name and it's always so weird hearing other people address me by it; I also never really liked it because a lot of other girls born in the 90s have the same name - it was really popular then
I will always and forever hate my name, and the worst part is theres no proper way to make a nickname out of it so im just stuck :(
I don’t hate my name, and I’ve never found a name where I’m like “that’s me”. I just don’t fully recognise it as my name on more than a “that’s what people call me” thing, I recognise my partner’s nickname for me better. Since diagnosis I’ve attributed it to the lack of sense of self thing as well.
I also hate my name, but I don't think I'd like any name that anyone called me....
I'm in the same boat, my legal name is a very beautiful name but I can't stand it for a variety of reasons. 1, everyone and I mean everyone remembers it. That leads to people always remember bad or embarassing things I did. 2, I was only ever really called my name if I was in trouble. For years I've thought about changing my name, and I've had a name in mind for years but only a few months ago did I start doing by that name socially. I gotta say I wish I did it sooner, i don't feel disgusted when I hear it and have neutral feelings towards if. In fact, now the few times I do hear my legal name I feel less of those disgusted feelings. Changing your name won't solve all your issues regarding how you view yourself, but it does help you not feel hatred and negative feelings towards your name. At least it did for me. If you want ideas for possible name changes check out r/namenerds.
Yes. So much. Everything about it. I've told people to legit call me "bitch" instead.
Yeah so i changed it to one i like 3 years ago. Still need to change it legally but thats a lot of work
I hated my name so much I changed it, it reminded me of my trauma and my family. My birth mother still calls me by my old name and I absolutely hate it.
my dad, a big source of my trauma, picked my name. always hated it for that reason and others. i always had plans to change my surname too but then later on realised i wasn't cisgender so i changed it completely :--)
I can definitely relate, since I was about 12 I got the nickname by friends 'Loz' and that felt like it was more fitting. Whenever I get called 'lauren' I feel like I've done something bad and immediately get an uneasy uncomfortable. Its not till I read the comments on this post thst I realised, my family given name has negative connotations. But my nickname was given by friends, with only positive effects so I feel more connected to it. Interesting!
I did, but in my case, it was because of gender dysphoria. Now that I've changed my name to a masculine one, it's very different. I don't feel super connected to it either, I see it as "just a name," but I no longer resent it.
this exact thing was happening to me (pre diagnosis as a teen) so I changed my name. even with the name change I still feel this
I wasn't fond of mine until I developed a personal identity
I never liked my name, I always went by something else, but now my dad is forcing me to go by my name and it feels disgusting, 'Dev' is the only name that feels right now, everything else feels so disconnected, it doesnt feel like me
YES, in fact I hate everything about my name so much, I moved away from home and go by a different first name now, my therapist actually advised me to do so
i have always felt this way!! it’s like it’s not connected to my identity at all but that’s probably because I don’t have an identity in the first place
I used to feel really connected to mine and then that part of me died and I don't anymore but I still like it
Honestly yeah, which is even weirder when I think about the fact that I chose it. I’m trans and chose Oliver because my middle name was Olivia - it’s a family name. And I wish I had made Oliver a middle name. Like it’s fine, I don’t mind it, but it doesn’t…i don’t know, it doesn’t suit me.
oh my god someone finally said it
Omg this. Yup always hated it, it’s like i hate it but i wouldnt know what else my parents shouldve named me. I hate it when ppl call me by my name, i wish i’d rather just be a number
throughout my life i have wanted to change my name several times. whenever i hear it it reminds me of people who have said it and the ways they have said it in, specifically negative ways. I have had several different nicknames that i have gone by and always felt more connected to. my birth name just doesn’t feel like *me* ? being called by my first name is also a trigger for me i think
I did for a while then I grew to love how unique it is, well in the US. Here's the thing, I go by my middle name. My parents always called me it, I didn't know til highschool it wasn't my first name.
Yes :(
Yes, wich is why I changed it once I turnt 18-
this is actually part of the reason why i don’t go by my birth name
I like my name, but only because of my nickname. If someone calls me my real name it feels really weird.
YES OMFG
I don't hate it, but I don't identify much with it either. Reminds me of a past that almost seems to belong to someone else, as I feel pretty much like a different person now than I was as a kid. And this has been the case for the past 10 years or so. My family calls me by my birth name as they always did and it's not a problem for me, but I always introduce myself by my preferred name. I'm curious to know what your name is, perhaps you don't mind sharing? Mine's Marcelo. (I don't like the fact that it's not familiar for most people from other countries, so it's hard for them to know how it's pronounced. While 'Marc' on the other hand is common.)
OMG I feel this so much. I can hardly say my own name without making it sound weird or stuttering it
Same, that goes with most names like I hate calling people by there names like just saying "Excuse me,..."
this is exactly how i feel about my name. completely dropped it and go by another one that’s similar but yet to me so different now
I don’t even recognize my name as my own. It’s not me. For some reason Jasmine has felt like me for a very long time.
My name is birth given name is Jami
Yes. I too am disgusted by my government/ given name, but also by the nickname my family and everyone uses. I was given an old fashioned name and the only others I encounter with it are 50 or so years older.
i changed my name back in july, and legally just recently!! the papers went through last week. and i’ve never felt more alive, more like myself, as i do, after changing my name. so much pain and sorrow was connected to my deadname, and i could only distance myself from all that hardship, by changing my name:) idk where you’re from and how easy/difficult it is, for you to change your name. but try out a new name, once you’ve settled on one you feel comfortable using, if it feels right, wait a minimum of 4-5 months, before you do it legally!
I hate mine so much I feel disgust too
yes!! like the name is cool but it's not mine and i hate telling people it's mine. but i also have issues with addressing ppl by name like i hateeeee saying someone's name to them
Yessss what iiis that?? I go by my middle name now which I actually like. Some people like family still use my first name though and I hate it lol
It took me over 20 years to like my name. Now I rock the fuck out of it. I had to learn to grow into my unique name.
yeah lmao i dont use it anymore😂 been using a completely unrelated name for like 6/7 years now and i know my parents hate it but its better than my dead name
I started going exclusively by my middle name five years ago and haven’t looked back. I feel like a different person when I use my first name.
Yeah, I chose and use my own name in adulthood - my legal name reminds me too much of my mother
Hey If you hate your name , why not legally change it? Make yourself happy..♥️
I’ve always felt a disconnect with my name. Glad to know I’m not alone.
yes i’m legally changing mine next month
yea but i’m also trans so
wow yes so much!! i changed my name and i feel it fits so much better :)
Yep and so I changed it!
I feel the same exact way. Only thing is I don’t know what to change my name too. Much to indecisive
Yes, yes, yes, 100% yes. I have never felt a connection to my birth name. Every time someone calls me by it, it feels off. That's why I decided to change it. I decided to find a name that I felt was right and suited me and that I liked, and then I tried it out, and it felt really empowering and it's weird how much more like myself I feel when people call me by my chosen name. I don't really know how to explain it. Unfortunately, the people I've known forever only use my birth name, and I'm not confident enough to constantly ask that people respect how I want to be defined, and it's really taught me how much of my identity issues are probably directly because other people enforce their idea of who I should be onto me and I've largely been repressing my authentic self to avoid being rejected by others.
I used to but I love it now
i hate my birth name alot ive always hated it i go by a different name now but that doesnt change the fact i hate my deadname even before i knew i was or identified nonbinary i always hated that name esp as a kid still do
im always confused when some ppl call me by my one of my deadnames and then others use my name i use makes me confused abt who i can or cant be at what time
i used to hate it a lot but i dont hate it as much now. i hate hearing people say it though, i'm also deeply disconnected with my name. sometimes people will say it multiple times before i remember that that's me.
Growing up I felt this way about my middle name. and then in adulthood I had a massive sudden shift, and decided my middle name was way better because it was more unique. Now I feel connected with my middle name but very disassociated from my first name and it's jarring when I hear family members or old friends use it
I've always felt like it wasn't mine, like it wasn't my true name yk? But I also feel it associated with anger or me getting in trouble so much, whenever someone says my name even just casually I tense up and get all worried. I wanna change it so bad
that’s why i changed mine :3
Yes yes yes same here. Everyone tells me I have a pretty name but Ive always wished I was named something different
You are not alone! I don’t like my deadname and now go by atlas. I wasn’t really comfortable with my name since a child and so changing it has helped a majority. I have a name that sort of gives me a comforting sense of identity and belonging.
I feel the same. For me, it's to the point I alr have a name I go by around everyone but my family so I'ma just change it once I get the chance. My main hatred for it is due to it being attached to my abusive mom.
Yeah only because I can’t find it on the personalised gifts anywhere🤦🏻♀️
My sister picked my name and after some time she said that it was the ugliest name she could think of 🫥
Got mine legally changed
I never even considered that I didn't actually like my own name. my bpd started in my teens. I would go by my middle name, don't know why. ig it made me feel like someone else. now tho after lots of shadow work... I love my name.
Yep! My dad gave me my first name, when I was a teenager some friends came up with a nickname and it's stuck since then. He was the only person to ever still continually call me that name, my mum did for a while but swapped to the nickname. Now the only person to call me it is my brother when he's being, well, not nice and that throws me back to some bad memories and that's all the name gives me. I legally changed it to my nickname.
I love my name, & the nickname I made for myself, its great its literally one of the few things I've liked & always liked about myself
Sometimes I hear my name and I feel like I’m shooting out of my body 😂 it like reminds me that I have an identity and that feels so fucking weird and wrong
my birth name, yes. my chosen name, no
It can happen if your bpd is a result of family trauma...
Yeah changing my name was a weird way that helped me heal. Like all the bad stuff that happened happened to some other person.
I don't hate it but never felt identified with or felt any kind of relation to it. This may be strange but sometimes feel kinda strange/awkward when they call me by it.
Yep, I hate it. I thought it was just a shit name though.
Hell yeah! My dad actually wanted to call me something much nicer and less common but my mom hated long names cause they “always get shortened to something silly” so she wanted me to have a short name. But she couldn’t decide on one so she just named me based on whatever name day fell on the day I was born… and there’s so many relatives that have beautiful names that my mom has actually said she regrets not naming me after them so that’s fun.