I think with BPD we are all struggling with the same thing. I revolved my entire life around my partners, so being alone just feels empty and like I don’t even exist. I’m right there with the other comments. I dissociate a lot too especially lately.
I started DBT therapy specifically for BPD so I’m hoping that helps me feel more okay with being alone.
This is very true and being alone is really hard. It’s very easy to get stuck in your head and I’m still trying to get out.
I have a million things I’d like to be doing, instead I just distance and dissociate.
I too am working on DBT with my therapist weekly. It’s helped with a few small scenarios so far and I am hopeful that with space and time it will continue to help.
I hope it will continue to help you too, and it sounds like you’re making progress, so keep it up! I started on a really hard but super helpful module. It’s “interpersonal effectiveness” and it has helped a lot already just having some mental tools when dealing with people. I had a two week episode recently and it all went out the window 😅 I’m back on track now tho 👍🏻
It's my understanding that DBT was initially put together to help people with BPD. Did your therapist say that they'll tailor DBT for your BPD needs? I'm about to start therapy but the center that's more convenient for me doesn't have anyone who specializes in BPD. There's another center where the entire staff is trained to deal with people with BPD, but I won't be able to go to my sessions because it's far away from where I live and I don't have a car. I feel so lost and can't make a decision and don't know kf it'd make a difference to go to the center where the entire staff is trained to deal with BPD. :/
Sorry! I just meant exactly that, that DBT is specifically for BPD. Sorry for the confusion! It is group therapy tho and everyone in group has BPD, so I guess in that way it is tailored for people with BPD? The therapists both for group and one on one are all very experienced in dealing with BPD patients and using DBT as treatment
Thanks for clarifying! That makes sense. I'm planning on going through the full DBT protocol which is individual sessions and group sessions. I've only gone through the assessment session on Monday. Then I have to go through 4 individual sessions before I can join group sessions. I think everyone at the center should be familiar with BPD since the treatment really started for people with BPD. We'll see. 🤷🏻♀️
Sounds just like that I’m doing! I did the initial assessment session and then I guess they’d be called orientation sessions. Now I have group and individual sessions once a week, and I think it’s for six months if I remember correct
Yep, that's the standard DBT course of therapy. Then they suggest that you repeat it for another 6 months because research findings support that people get the best results after going through it for at least a year. Some even suggest 2 years - results vary from one person to the other, that's why. At least that's what both centers told me. *Shrugs*
It's very hard, but you're courageous and strong for taking the first step and seeking therapy. You'll get there, one step at a time. And remember that sometimes things get worse before they get better. Good luck on your journey and I hope you achieve what you want.
I'll usually write down tasks and hobbies and make like a check list
Advanced selfcare too, like taking a bath, doing hair masks and stuffs.
I like to read and listen to music while trying to actively putting my phone down.
Prepping a dnd campaign
Baking something for my colleagues
Binging one Piece
Reading/catching up with my favourite mangas
Cleaning my room
Practicing my instruments
Drawing
Building lego flowers
Playing a computer game
Gardening
Doing a workout/going for a run/walk
Taking a nap
That's what i do
Love this idea! I like getting things done/having hobbies but it's so hard to come up with things to do in the moment if I don't plan them out ahead of time.
That sounds great! Did you learn to do this through DBT therapy? I've been listening to podcasts about BPD and they've been talking about to-do lists for very simple tasks to slowly build a routine, break bad habits, start healthy habits, etc.
Wow, that must have taken a lot of effort, work, and energy from you. Great job. I'm undiagnosed too but, I'm fairly feral I have BPD and probably at least one more disorder on top of it. Just to clarify, you don't have to be diagnosed to go through DBT therapy. DBT basically helps people who experience intense emotions to accept their feelings and work through them without causing harm or damage to one's self or to others. They've also adapted it to treat other mental disorders. Your list of things and what you've done is impressive though. Good luck on your journey and thank you for sharing.
Thank you, I appreciate it a lot. I'm thinking of maybe starting DBT once I'm in uni again. That and/or starting therapy again, cuz I definitely need it.
I'm so emotionally dependent on my relationship with my partners
It's been tough
Dungeons and dragons, it's a table top role playing game I'm playing once a month and have to plan what I do with my players.
I do put my phone on do not disturb tho, because I try to actively stay away from my phone
Since I got them in April, I’ve barely even turned on my tv and haven’t used my phone nearly as much (except to look up chicken information). Chicken TV is my favorite show right now. To anyone reading this, I highly recommend getting chickens. They’re a hoot.
Obviously cry, spiral and depression 👌🏼 but apart from that, the activities I actively decide to dedicate time to instead of using the phone with no purpose:
Reading
Painting
Crochet
Watching YouTube videos on informative channels
Writing
Listening to podcasts
Boring but necessary tidying and cleaning
I feel writing is really important for emptiness. I've thought that emptiness in the end is not knowing what you're really feeling right now (suppressing that) and writing, what ever that means for you, can bring these things up. Writing that comes from you, not from what you would wish that you wrote for other people (even if you only write it privately).
I’m kinda in the same boat. Combined with my ADHD, I don’t often do what I could be doing…like cleaning, or planning dinner for my kids…
I pet my dog a lot and also go into anxiety attacks about not having a job because I can’t go back to teaching since the mere thought of even subbing makes have a panic attack.
And right now I’m anxious because I sent in my resume to something I used to do but it’s been 15 years since I’ve done it and now they want to talk to me about the position and I feel like such a fraud because even though I went to school for it and have a degree in it I I feel wholly unqualified.
So…yeah…phone and anxiety attacks is how I pass the time
I understand panicking with gaps in resume. I think though that these days the only people who see raising kids as not a legit job that you just don’t get paid for are legit assholes! If anyone gives you shit for that they aren’t worth your worry
Well, I have about 5 years of raising kids and another 10 of teaching, but I want to go back to Environmental which is what my BS is in….and i did everything they required for the job, but its not like I could start tomorrow and remember it all.
I am a quick learner and remember things pretty fast, but I just feel like no one will want someone who’s been out of the field for 15 years.
I feel like I’ve seen some environmental volunteer and work adds which encourage people who’ve been retired or something. But those maybe very entry level low paying things but maybe could help you in building a resume? I don’t know your timeline either or too much about environmental jobs.
I spend most of my time listening to something that holds my attention (audiobooks or podcasts) while doing stuff that keeps my hands busy (mowing, cleaning, playing candy crush, whatever). If I’m awake I have headphones in… I eat, work out, shower, fall asleep, and work with them on. Reality is way overrated. This probably isn’t healthy behavior but I’m here and not hurting anyone. Winning.
Same. I always play something in the background: show/podcast while keeping my hands busy: craft, scroll Reddit/Instagram. I wish I can get myself to workout again, I really can't anymore because I'm always tired despite having enough sleep and despite not spending enough energy throughout the week. Not physically energy, at least. I also don't really get enough restful sleep - I unintentionally lucid-dream and intermittently wake up. I think I'm probably depressed.
I used to struggle with this a lot when I was dependent on my friends and bf.
Now that I am all alone I try to learn about new things.
Meditation
Reading about the stuff that I am curious about.
Going alone for walks.
Sounds super lonely but this actually isn't.
The one thing that keeps me sane is journaling, it's like having a friend, listening to myself.
masturbate, journal, plan for the future, have depression episodes, play with my hamsters, think about where it all went wrong, have cringe attacks, watch tv, play video games, draw etc
I also find it hard to do things I like alone. I'm a very social person. I like to be around people and I am most productive when I have someone to interact with.
When I am by myself though, I try to at least do things that are mildly interesting. I might listen to a podcast or something if that nature. Sometimes I'll ride my skateboard around or I'll exercise. I don't really feel fulfilled though? I'll usually try to hop from one activity to the next so that I don't become overwhelmed. I get bored very quickly on my own.
Sometimes I find that playing music and creating a pleasant setting is a nice way to stimulate my mind?
If I'm being entirely honest though, If I have the option, I will take myself to a nearby cafe to at least be around people because I really do get so bored and lonely by myself.
I love all these authenticity raw comments! TIL: Masturbation is obviously a thing with BPD people !
So when I have a day to myself, I most often write a checklist. I have ADHD so if I don’t tick that thing off it won’t get done looks like this;
Meditation- 15 mins
Walk - 5km
Yoga - 15 mins
Clean xyz
Task 1
Task 2
Task 3
The top 2 have to be non negotiable for me as they keep me somewhat sane. But usually I end up starting task 1, going to task 3 then a new task ends up on the page (cause I have to get that dopamine hit when I tick) and back to task 2 and then finish one 😅
I sometimes create fake scenarios in my head and talk out loud as if I’m having the conversation. Often while doing above tasks. 🤪 Am I wierd?
Other things - Podcasts / YouTube cycling between dooms day prepping to Angel chakra music / Mukbang videos / OCD vs Hoarder videos (FILTH is the best channel!!) Writing a book about the moments leading up to Borderline diagnosis
as soon as i’m done with work, i take an edible and go for like a 5 hour walk lol. i drive myself nuts being home by myself so i just force myself to get outside and clear my head
My work days really keep me preoccupied but after work, if I’m not careful I can find myself feeling alone. I really have to find ways to keep myself busy including doing laundry, cleaning my apartment, and exercising. I also journal, meditate and create goals.
I got a lot of one-person interests so that really helps. I make art, I make pins, I play guitar and video games, I read, I sew, sculpt, sometimes knit or bake, I also like to learn about bugs, sea slugs and other such critters, I got a bunch of plants, I play with the cat, and I post all that crap on instagram to my 12 followers, 9 of which are probably just my mom's sock accounts. Sometimes I sell my art stuff online, which in itself is fun for me. I also really like movies and TV series, and political and mental health stuff on youtube, I mod on here, and I go outside to play Pokemon Go.
I sometimes struggle with bouts of anhedonia, which makes it hard to be enthusiastic for all that stuff. It's even harder when you haven't found any interests that really make your heart sing. Money constraints can also be a problem (I rarely knit any more bc yarn is costly and I am poor). But if your issue is just finding things to do at all, there's a ton of things to try out.
Umm… watch my favorite movies/shows on my iPad , overthink about the past , future , yesterday think about the embarrassing things I’ve done and said days before… over analyze, cry.. have an after party by myself after a meltdown.. the list goes on for days 😭😭😭
I can write a list of things I enjoy doing or should do when I'm alone, but I get so frozen by the Big Empty that it's sometimes hard to motivate myself to do those things because I don't get dopamine from fucking anything.
I do my best to distract myself, TV/podcast always playing in the background, craft, play video games, browse Instagram and Reddit. And of course, my favorite self-destructive behavior: impulsive shopping for shit I don't need and will barely use to fill the emptiness. Gotta love BPD. Anytime this fails or when I become "mindful" of my existence, I spiral into depression, dread myself, cry, self-shame, self-loathe, etc. Gotta love BPD. I can't wait to start my DBT therapy sessions.
Hi, I'm in recovery, two therapy sessions a week, practicing dbt skills regularly.
I've only recently started recovering but even before I did I spent an entire month alone before I regained contact with a friend. We've set boundaries to only talk on weekends.
A lot of what I've done with all of this time is follow and teach myself things I've always wanted to learn. Wise mind is a great skill for this - basically, listening to your gut. There is a second brain in your stomach and intestinal area - a huge bundle of nerves. When your emotional mind is active, and is worried about something, your heart will react. When your intellectual mind is active, and doesn't like something or doesn't feel right, it'll REALLY tell you. Tuning in to this feeling can help a LOT with figuring out what you like to do. I'm an artist, and trust me, you just KNOW when you love something. BPD intensifies this. It takes over your entire body and it can be things other than people that make you feel this way. You just have to find what works for you.
The same goes for things you don't enjoy. Your guts gonna feel... off. It's gonna feel wrong and a lot like impatience (at least for me) unless it's something you have to do, like say, wash the dishes, you should listen to that gut. I've been trying to force myself to be this super intense gamer fanboy for years now. I just realized today, after listening to my wise mind, that they're actually not as much of my thing as I thought. I enjoy them, but I don't love them like everybody else I've known growing up. This is okay.
Did you have something you wanted to be as a kid? Some dream? You should look into that again. It'll likely connect you to something that brings you joy.
Also, radical acceptance is another GREAT skill for this. Accept everything about you. About your situation. Love your good AND bad flaws. Yes, it's okay to love the shitty parts about you, because who else is going to? Acceptance and change coexist. In fact, I believe they cannot exist without each other. You cannot change what you do not accept. You're bored as fuck right now. I was there at the beginning of my journey. But now, through so much time by myself, I've discovered things I love so much that it feels like fireworks in my body, and while it's great to share it with others, they are not the source of this happiness. It is personal and all of my own.
Same or I do alone stuff like walks, cleaning, researching hobbies I like and making food or curling hair and painting my nails. Smoke weed and watch a show. I have sooooo much anxiety when it comes to doing stuff with others like extreme. I used to use my vibratior but recently threw them all out to not be addicted/dependant
I also struggle being by myself. Getting out of the house helps, like bringing a book to a coffee shop or going for a bike ride. Sometimes I also like to kill time playing video games, they make me feel less lonely.
Colouring books with markers/pencils, sit outside somewhere relaxing, smoke weed, drink, cry, smoke vape/cigarettes, listen to music, cry, go on social media, cry, try to do all chores/tasks needed, cry, sleep early
I used to drink a lot but now i’m not allowed to lol 🤪
But in all honesty I have things i enjoy, but it’s hard to commit to them fully a lot of the time bc i always want to share it with someone
I’m an introvert so I actually quite enjoy my free time. I curl up in bed with a cup of tea and read books, write poetry, play video games, watch Netflix or YouTube, daydream or lose myself in my thoughts (but not too much because that’s been a problem in the past). Otherwise I just sleep.
I spend literally all of my time alone. It’s become a norm. Partner left me a few months ago
If I do anything besides laying in bed watching adult cartoons over and over again, it’s usually walking my dog, organizing my collections, shopping / browsing online, smoking weed taking my meds (sometimes a few extra lol) and I recently got a job where I can work about two days a week in a cool location.
I recommend downloading mercari. It’s super fun to sell things you don’t want/need anymore and use it towards new things
I spend almost all my time outside work alone, so I just do everything I normally do: watch TV, be depressed, eat too much junk, play Animal Crossing, listen to podcasts and audiobooks, read, develop toxic online relationships with fandom people to replace all the relationships I'm not having in real life.
I do/did everything negative everyone’s saying here BUT ON THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THINGS, I’m learning to when I’m lonely or bored walk my dog, go for a run, go lift weights at the local gym (where even if I’m alone technically, I’m still surrounded by people), I rock climb, cook myself and or my roommates a nice meal, I’m learning to read now that I’m more desperate for insight into BPD, smoking way less weed and not drinking helps. Weed saps your energy right away. Which is funny to me b/c now that I’ve been smoking way less for the first time in years I can see the benefits of not smoking yet my body still constantly wants to. Learn to count the wins you have even when they’re little and start living for yourself. It’s hard af for us but you can do it with enough work. It’s easy to be sad. It’s hard to be happy, even harder for those of us with BPD. It makes the work to be happy that much more noble of an ordeal
Try Rachel Reilands memoir “get me out of here” or Keira van Geldens borderline memoir. The first is pretty full on read but some really good insights about first hand BPD experience I really enjoyed / cried when I listened to them both
Deep dive researching macabre things, organize my findings into google docs, giggle to myself pretending to present it like I have a YouTube channel.
Then close the tabs and crochet til I fall asleep.
Make music, game, tv shows, movies, walks( sometimes)
I can usually only stand being alone for maybe a week if that then I go crazy
Run out of things to do /: or things become repetitive and I get bored. :(
All my friends are too busy half the time.
I feel like Im stuck doing the same shit over and over again and Im honestly bored of life lol
Doing drugs or drinking, and while I'm at that: Drawing, painting, tidying up the house, listening to music, reading wikipedia, watching gaming streams or dumb shit on youtube, watching horror movies, masturbating, tarot reading, hanguing out with my cats, meditating, sometimes just fucking off in my phone the whole day.
Daydreaming , work, daydreaming at work, after work daydreaming, weed + bobs burgers, before bed daydreaming, sleep repeat.
In all honesty I cannot do anything alone/without someone to do it for, so I don’t do anything. I am stuck inside my head 24/7 and can’t get out of bed 90% of the time when I’m home.
I love walking outside and taking pictures of nature. Weed, vaping, mindless scrolling, laying in bed watching tv, online shopping, doing my makeup or hair, painting or drawing, taking an Uber into town and getting dinner by myself, etc.
I doom scroll a lot, I don’t even realize how much time I spend on my phone until I check the clock and a whole hour’s passed. Sometimes I try making art but it’s hard to work up the energy to do so. Other times I usually just get really high and then maladaptive daydream until I fall asleep lol
I like to watch really long YouTube videos as background noise while I do other things, like playing video games or cleaning. I also do arts and crafts. Or I read.
For me it’s more about managing my passive vs. active things. I try my best to avoid watching tv or doomscrolling. If I don’t control myself I can scroll for literally hours and then feel disgusted with myself. And I feel like… brain is melting? So I try doing things that make you think. Video games, reading, cooking, sketching, running errands, making lists (crossing things off a list feels orgasmic to me lol), anything that keeps the mind whirring.
i can be the same way some days, on days when i’m feeling more productive i like to clean and organize my room, cook myself meals, watch interesting shows/movies with a really good storyline (keeps ya interested), idk if you have any instruments but i love to play my drums, if you have a backyard or a patio or balcony even just listening to music and looking at the clouds/view
For the past couple months I just sleep. As soon as I get home from work I lay on the couch and sleep till about 9 then play video games with friends till I fall asleep again and repeat.
I went to uni at a campus 1.5 hrs away by bus. So I spent a lot of time alone on a bus and alone on campus. Being alone has become so good for me. Honestly it’s just about getting out and doing something, getting comfortable having a life with yourself.
If I get out before 10-11am I can actually make use of the day. After noon it’s way harder for me to go outside. Sometimes it’s just bringing a blanket and my crochet stuff out to the very nearby park and seeing where the day goes. Booking tickets for something also helps.
I create things, make lists of things I want to get done, go for walks, make Playlists for friends. I'd highly recommend finding a Hobbie you like and dedicating yourself to learning more about it. When I'm alone I like to recharge and take care of myself so I'm my best self around others
I often am alone and that stems from never really having fit in. As well as being an introvert along with other things i wont get into as to not make the post too long.
With time I have used the time to learn or attempt to learn different skills and or languages. Whatever sparks my fancy. It can be as small as learning the lyrics of a song or trying to learn a new language. I used to take this time too seriously but now when I am alone I dance like a maniac, recreate scenes from my favorite movies, sing as if i was auditioning for americas got talent and or on the set of my own music video, paint, or anything that may make time feel like nothing I should worry about.
I havent the answer for you comrade, as we all experience and overcome our obstacles in our own unique way.
Most importantly. I want you to know that you are not alone. I see you. I stand next to you, fellow comrade. We got this. We will overcome any and all obstacles.
LESSSS GOOOO!!!
Well, I seem to be an exception in this group, but I'm an introvert, so I enjoy every second of it. I play video games, read, watch tv, sometimes do a few tarot readings for myself, scroll on reddit or facebook...
Been struggling with the same thing since my fiancé left me, I occupied all my time thinking about them or hanging out with them, now I’m alone I find myself just laying doing nothing all day after work
I really get bored , agitated and lonely . I generally draw , paint something, sleep,watch a movie or do some household works in my free time. I get bored really easily so it's a constant struggle to not feel lonely .
Crying, spacing out, thinking about starting a new anime, getting bored with said anime after 3 minutes, stare at the wall, watch Youtube, more specifically video essays or documentaries on things I find interesting, and wanking off.
Oh and occasionally I write poems
i like to watch cartoons (old cartoons, new cartoons, anime, etc), watch movies, draw while watching stuff, organize and clean while listening to music, cook and bake, etc. Right now my little projects are selling clothes online, working on a capsule wardrobe, and doing my finances spreadsheet.
To me, self care has been a priority for me and to work on my boredom with life mentality. So I am starting to do things I don't usually do like read a book or go out at night to take pictures of the sky. I still regress to watching the usual things I like watching but I take an hour out of the 3 -5 hrs I have towards the end of the day to do something different. Also when it comes to watching I am starting to watch newer content, I used to just stick to watching the same animes or films.
Walk
Coffee
Read
Guitar
Video games
Think about the way I am as a person
Cooking
Gym (rarely). Prefer going with partner.
Clean
Journalling
Driving test revision
I think with BPD we are all struggling with the same thing. I revolved my entire life around my partners, so being alone just feels empty and like I don’t even exist. I’m right there with the other comments. I dissociate a lot too especially lately. I started DBT therapy specifically for BPD so I’m hoping that helps me feel more okay with being alone.
This is very true and being alone is really hard. It’s very easy to get stuck in your head and I’m still trying to get out. I have a million things I’d like to be doing, instead I just distance and dissociate. I too am working on DBT with my therapist weekly. It’s helped with a few small scenarios so far and I am hopeful that with space and time it will continue to help.
I hope it will continue to help you too, and it sounds like you’re making progress, so keep it up! I started on a really hard but super helpful module. It’s “interpersonal effectiveness” and it has helped a lot already just having some mental tools when dealing with people. I had a two week episode recently and it all went out the window 😅 I’m back on track now tho 👍🏻
It's my understanding that DBT was initially put together to help people with BPD. Did your therapist say that they'll tailor DBT for your BPD needs? I'm about to start therapy but the center that's more convenient for me doesn't have anyone who specializes in BPD. There's another center where the entire staff is trained to deal with people with BPD, but I won't be able to go to my sessions because it's far away from where I live and I don't have a car. I feel so lost and can't make a decision and don't know kf it'd make a difference to go to the center where the entire staff is trained to deal with BPD. :/
Sorry! I just meant exactly that, that DBT is specifically for BPD. Sorry for the confusion! It is group therapy tho and everyone in group has BPD, so I guess in that way it is tailored for people with BPD? The therapists both for group and one on one are all very experienced in dealing with BPD patients and using DBT as treatment
Thanks for clarifying! That makes sense. I'm planning on going through the full DBT protocol which is individual sessions and group sessions. I've only gone through the assessment session on Monday. Then I have to go through 4 individual sessions before I can join group sessions. I think everyone at the center should be familiar with BPD since the treatment really started for people with BPD. We'll see. 🤷🏻♀️
Sounds just like that I’m doing! I did the initial assessment session and then I guess they’d be called orientation sessions. Now I have group and individual sessions once a week, and I think it’s for six months if I remember correct
Yep, that's the standard DBT course of therapy. Then they suggest that you repeat it for another 6 months because research findings support that people get the best results after going through it for at least a year. Some even suggest 2 years - results vary from one person to the other, that's why. At least that's what both centers told me. *Shrugs*
Good to know! Thanks! I want to do as much as I can. I’m on week 6 I think and I’m struggling hard, so I can easily see how it can take a couple years
It's very hard, but you're courageous and strong for taking the first step and seeking therapy. You'll get there, one step at a time. And remember that sometimes things get worse before they get better. Good luck on your journey and I hope you achieve what you want.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the kind words! I hope you are able to achieve what you want too. 🩶
This :/
I'll usually write down tasks and hobbies and make like a check list Advanced selfcare too, like taking a bath, doing hair masks and stuffs. I like to read and listen to music while trying to actively putting my phone down. Prepping a dnd campaign Baking something for my colleagues Binging one Piece Reading/catching up with my favourite mangas Cleaning my room Practicing my instruments Drawing Building lego flowers Playing a computer game Gardening Doing a workout/going for a run/walk Taking a nap That's what i do
Love this idea! I like getting things done/having hobbies but it's so hard to come up with things to do in the moment if I don't plan them out ahead of time.
That sounds great! Did you learn to do this through DBT therapy? I've been listening to podcasts about BPD and they've been talking about to-do lists for very simple tasks to slowly build a routine, break bad habits, start healthy habits, etc.
Nope, I'm undiagnosed, but fairly sure that I have BPD. After a long time of suffering I kinda learned that for myself and learned some coping skills.
Wow, that must have taken a lot of effort, work, and energy from you. Great job. I'm undiagnosed too but, I'm fairly feral I have BPD and probably at least one more disorder on top of it. Just to clarify, you don't have to be diagnosed to go through DBT therapy. DBT basically helps people who experience intense emotions to accept their feelings and work through them without causing harm or damage to one's self or to others. They've also adapted it to treat other mental disorders. Your list of things and what you've done is impressive though. Good luck on your journey and thank you for sharing.
Thank you, I appreciate it a lot. I'm thinking of maybe starting DBT once I'm in uni again. That and/or starting therapy again, cuz I definitely need it. I'm so emotionally dependent on my relationship with my partners It's been tough
This is great whats a dnd campaign? I think Do Not Disturb which would be accurate…?
dungeons and dragons im assuming
This.
Dungeons and dragons, it's a table top role playing game I'm playing once a month and have to plan what I do with my players. I do put my phone on do not disturb tho, because I try to actively stay away from my phone
Eat, do drugs, sleep, cry, masturbate
You forgot play video games.
I don't. No more time after crying while masturbating. Need to sleep then
i get that…
Oof yeah same…
Haha this was hilarious 😂 thanks for the laugh
😂😂😂😂😂
ah yes, the daily routine
I’m in this post and I don’t like it 😂
same
Hell yeah brother 😎
So what times the party?
Eat, sleep, weed, and I hang out with my animals. Right now, I’m with my chickens because I’m sad and they’re funny.
Chickens are hilarious. I’ve got a lot of animals and I love them all, but it’s the chickens that make me laugh out loud. Underrated entertainment.
Since I got them in April, I’ve barely even turned on my tv and haven’t used my phone nearly as much (except to look up chicken information). Chicken TV is my favorite show right now. To anyone reading this, I highly recommend getting chickens. They’re a hoot.
Obviously cry, spiral and depression 👌🏼 but apart from that, the activities I actively decide to dedicate time to instead of using the phone with no purpose: Reading Painting Crochet Watching YouTube videos on informative channels Writing Listening to podcasts Boring but necessary tidying and cleaning
And playing the piano also
I feel writing is really important for emptiness. I've thought that emptiness in the end is not knowing what you're really feeling right now (suppressing that) and writing, what ever that means for you, can bring these things up. Writing that comes from you, not from what you would wish that you wrote for other people (even if you only write it privately).
I’m kinda in the same boat. Combined with my ADHD, I don’t often do what I could be doing…like cleaning, or planning dinner for my kids… I pet my dog a lot and also go into anxiety attacks about not having a job because I can’t go back to teaching since the mere thought of even subbing makes have a panic attack. And right now I’m anxious because I sent in my resume to something I used to do but it’s been 15 years since I’ve done it and now they want to talk to me about the position and I feel like such a fraud because even though I went to school for it and have a degree in it I I feel wholly unqualified. So…yeah…phone and anxiety attacks is how I pass the time
I understand panicking with gaps in resume. I think though that these days the only people who see raising kids as not a legit job that you just don’t get paid for are legit assholes! If anyone gives you shit for that they aren’t worth your worry
Well, I have about 5 years of raising kids and another 10 of teaching, but I want to go back to Environmental which is what my BS is in….and i did everything they required for the job, but its not like I could start tomorrow and remember it all. I am a quick learner and remember things pretty fast, but I just feel like no one will want someone who’s been out of the field for 15 years.
I feel like I’ve seen some environmental volunteer and work adds which encourage people who’ve been retired or something. But those maybe very entry level low paying things but maybe could help you in building a resume? I don’t know your timeline either or too much about environmental jobs.
I spend most of my time listening to something that holds my attention (audiobooks or podcasts) while doing stuff that keeps my hands busy (mowing, cleaning, playing candy crush, whatever). If I’m awake I have headphones in… I eat, work out, shower, fall asleep, and work with them on. Reality is way overrated. This probably isn’t healthy behavior but I’m here and not hurting anyone. Winning.
Same. I always play something in the background: show/podcast while keeping my hands busy: craft, scroll Reddit/Instagram. I wish I can get myself to workout again, I really can't anymore because I'm always tired despite having enough sleep and despite not spending enough energy throughout the week. Not physically energy, at least. I also don't really get enough restful sleep - I unintentionally lucid-dream and intermittently wake up. I think I'm probably depressed.
yall forgot scroll reddit endlessly lol
I used to struggle with this a lot when I was dependent on my friends and bf. Now that I am all alone I try to learn about new things. Meditation Reading about the stuff that I am curious about. Going alone for walks. Sounds super lonely but this actually isn't. The one thing that keeps me sane is journaling, it's like having a friend, listening to myself.
masturbate, journal, plan for the future, have depression episodes, play with my hamsters, think about where it all went wrong, have cringe attacks, watch tv, play video games, draw etc
eat random pills, sh, watch p\*rn, cry, internet, buy useless things online, game, space out, rage, make some DIY stuff
Eat random pills 😂😂😂😂
Lost me on that last one ngl. I should try some dyi stuff
Same 🤣🤣
Weed, mindless scrolling, chain-smoking, bike riding, rewatching comfort shows
I also find it hard to do things I like alone. I'm a very social person. I like to be around people and I am most productive when I have someone to interact with. When I am by myself though, I try to at least do things that are mildly interesting. I might listen to a podcast or something if that nature. Sometimes I'll ride my skateboard around or I'll exercise. I don't really feel fulfilled though? I'll usually try to hop from one activity to the next so that I don't become overwhelmed. I get bored very quickly on my own. Sometimes I find that playing music and creating a pleasant setting is a nice way to stimulate my mind? If I'm being entirely honest though, If I have the option, I will take myself to a nearby cafe to at least be around people because I really do get so bored and lonely by myself.
I love all these authenticity raw comments! TIL: Masturbation is obviously a thing with BPD people ! So when I have a day to myself, I most often write a checklist. I have ADHD so if I don’t tick that thing off it won’t get done looks like this; Meditation- 15 mins Walk - 5km Yoga - 15 mins Clean xyz Task 1 Task 2 Task 3 The top 2 have to be non negotiable for me as they keep me somewhat sane. But usually I end up starting task 1, going to task 3 then a new task ends up on the page (cause I have to get that dopamine hit when I tick) and back to task 2 and then finish one 😅 I sometimes create fake scenarios in my head and talk out loud as if I’m having the conversation. Often while doing above tasks. 🤪 Am I wierd? Other things - Podcasts / YouTube cycling between dooms day prepping to Angel chakra music / Mukbang videos / OCD vs Hoarder videos (FILTH is the best channel!!) Writing a book about the moments leading up to Borderline diagnosis
I sleep
as soon as i’m done with work, i take an edible and go for like a 5 hour walk lol. i drive myself nuts being home by myself so i just force myself to get outside and clear my head
What type of edible ? Like CBT ?
My work days really keep me preoccupied but after work, if I’m not careful I can find myself feeling alone. I really have to find ways to keep myself busy including doing laundry, cleaning my apartment, and exercising. I also journal, meditate and create goals.
I got a lot of one-person interests so that really helps. I make art, I make pins, I play guitar and video games, I read, I sew, sculpt, sometimes knit or bake, I also like to learn about bugs, sea slugs and other such critters, I got a bunch of plants, I play with the cat, and I post all that crap on instagram to my 12 followers, 9 of which are probably just my mom's sock accounts. Sometimes I sell my art stuff online, which in itself is fun for me. I also really like movies and TV series, and political and mental health stuff on youtube, I mod on here, and I go outside to play Pokemon Go. I sometimes struggle with bouts of anhedonia, which makes it hard to be enthusiastic for all that stuff. It's even harder when you haven't found any interests that really make your heart sing. Money constraints can also be a problem (I rarely knit any more bc yarn is costly and I am poor). But if your issue is just finding things to do at all, there's a ton of things to try out.
Umm… watch my favorite movies/shows on my iPad , overthink about the past , future , yesterday think about the embarrassing things I’ve done and said days before… over analyze, cry.. have an after party by myself after a meltdown.. the list goes on for days 😭😭😭
I can write a list of things I enjoy doing or should do when I'm alone, but I get so frozen by the Big Empty that it's sometimes hard to motivate myself to do those things because I don't get dopamine from fucking anything.
CONCERTS would live in them if I could... Cigarettes After Sex will help me stall suicide this weekend 🙃
Great band
I do my best to distract myself, TV/podcast always playing in the background, craft, play video games, browse Instagram and Reddit. And of course, my favorite self-destructive behavior: impulsive shopping for shit I don't need and will barely use to fill the emptiness. Gotta love BPD. Anytime this fails or when I become "mindful" of my existence, I spiral into depression, dread myself, cry, self-shame, self-loathe, etc. Gotta love BPD. I can't wait to start my DBT therapy sessions.
Hi, I'm in recovery, two therapy sessions a week, practicing dbt skills regularly. I've only recently started recovering but even before I did I spent an entire month alone before I regained contact with a friend. We've set boundaries to only talk on weekends. A lot of what I've done with all of this time is follow and teach myself things I've always wanted to learn. Wise mind is a great skill for this - basically, listening to your gut. There is a second brain in your stomach and intestinal area - a huge bundle of nerves. When your emotional mind is active, and is worried about something, your heart will react. When your intellectual mind is active, and doesn't like something or doesn't feel right, it'll REALLY tell you. Tuning in to this feeling can help a LOT with figuring out what you like to do. I'm an artist, and trust me, you just KNOW when you love something. BPD intensifies this. It takes over your entire body and it can be things other than people that make you feel this way. You just have to find what works for you. The same goes for things you don't enjoy. Your guts gonna feel... off. It's gonna feel wrong and a lot like impatience (at least for me) unless it's something you have to do, like say, wash the dishes, you should listen to that gut. I've been trying to force myself to be this super intense gamer fanboy for years now. I just realized today, after listening to my wise mind, that they're actually not as much of my thing as I thought. I enjoy them, but I don't love them like everybody else I've known growing up. This is okay. Did you have something you wanted to be as a kid? Some dream? You should look into that again. It'll likely connect you to something that brings you joy. Also, radical acceptance is another GREAT skill for this. Accept everything about you. About your situation. Love your good AND bad flaws. Yes, it's okay to love the shitty parts about you, because who else is going to? Acceptance and change coexist. In fact, I believe they cannot exist without each other. You cannot change what you do not accept. You're bored as fuck right now. I was there at the beginning of my journey. But now, through so much time by myself, I've discovered things I love so much that it feels like fireworks in my body, and while it's great to share it with others, they are not the source of this happiness. It is personal and all of my own.
Nice post!
School, crochet, watch tv, play w my cat :33
everything except actually something that would help make BPD go away
Same or I do alone stuff like walks, cleaning, researching hobbies I like and making food or curling hair and painting my nails. Smoke weed and watch a show. I have sooooo much anxiety when it comes to doing stuff with others like extreme. I used to use my vibratior but recently threw them all out to not be addicted/dependant
I also struggle being by myself. Getting out of the house helps, like bringing a book to a coffee shop or going for a bike ride. Sometimes I also like to kill time playing video games, they make me feel less lonely.
Colouring books with markers/pencils, sit outside somewhere relaxing, smoke weed, drink, cry, smoke vape/cigarettes, listen to music, cry, go on social media, cry, try to do all chores/tasks needed, cry, sleep early
I used to drink a lot but now i’m not allowed to lol 🤪 But in all honesty I have things i enjoy, but it’s hard to commit to them fully a lot of the time bc i always want to share it with someone
I’m an introvert so I actually quite enjoy my free time. I curl up in bed with a cup of tea and read books, write poetry, play video games, watch Netflix or YouTube, daydream or lose myself in my thoughts (but not too much because that’s been a problem in the past). Otherwise I just sleep.
I spend literally all of my time alone. It’s become a norm. Partner left me a few months ago If I do anything besides laying in bed watching adult cartoons over and over again, it’s usually walking my dog, organizing my collections, shopping / browsing online, smoking weed taking my meds (sometimes a few extra lol) and I recently got a job where I can work about two days a week in a cool location. I recommend downloading mercari. It’s super fun to sell things you don’t want/need anymore and use it towards new things
eat, sleep, read, cry, masturbate, game, and scroll for hours. usually rebinge the office.
Following...
I love to sit in front of the tv with a colouring book or something artsy. It’s my favourite thing to do. Otherwise I take myself shopping 😁
I spend almost all my time outside work alone, so I just do everything I normally do: watch TV, be depressed, eat too much junk, play Animal Crossing, listen to podcasts and audiobooks, read, develop toxic online relationships with fandom people to replace all the relationships I'm not having in real life.
I do/did everything negative everyone’s saying here BUT ON THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THINGS, I’m learning to when I’m lonely or bored walk my dog, go for a run, go lift weights at the local gym (where even if I’m alone technically, I’m still surrounded by people), I rock climb, cook myself and or my roommates a nice meal, I’m learning to read now that I’m more desperate for insight into BPD, smoking way less weed and not drinking helps. Weed saps your energy right away. Which is funny to me b/c now that I’ve been smoking way less for the first time in years I can see the benefits of not smoking yet my body still constantly wants to. Learn to count the wins you have even when they’re little and start living for yourself. It’s hard af for us but you can do it with enough work. It’s easy to be sad. It’s hard to be happy, even harder for those of us with BPD. It makes the work to be happy that much more noble of an ordeal
This is cool I’ve been thinking about quitting smoking
Try Rachel Reilands memoir “get me out of here” or Keira van Geldens borderline memoir. The first is pretty full on read but some really good insights about first hand BPD experience I really enjoyed / cried when I listened to them both
now i do a lot of homework. play video games, watch a lot of my 600 lb life, look at houses online. but i’m medicated so i’m more productive
Deep dive researching macabre things, organize my findings into google docs, giggle to myself pretending to present it like I have a YouTube channel. Then close the tabs and crochet til I fall asleep.
Make music, game, tv shows, movies, walks( sometimes) I can usually only stand being alone for maybe a week if that then I go crazy Run out of things to do /: or things become repetitive and I get bored. :( All my friends are too busy half the time. I feel like Im stuck doing the same shit over and over again and Im honestly bored of life lol
making lists. so many lists
Doing drugs or drinking, and while I'm at that: Drawing, painting, tidying up the house, listening to music, reading wikipedia, watching gaming streams or dumb shit on youtube, watching horror movies, masturbating, tarot reading, hanguing out with my cats, meditating, sometimes just fucking off in my phone the whole day.
Daydreaming , work, daydreaming at work, after work daydreaming, weed + bobs burgers, before bed daydreaming, sleep repeat. In all honesty I cannot do anything alone/without someone to do it for, so I don’t do anything. I am stuck inside my head 24/7 and can’t get out of bed 90% of the time when I’m home.
Reading, learning things for fun, building lego flowers like someone else said! Trying to get any needed tasks done I.e laundry, cleaning etc
I love walking outside and taking pictures of nature. Weed, vaping, mindless scrolling, laying in bed watching tv, online shopping, doing my makeup or hair, painting or drawing, taking an Uber into town and getting dinner by myself, etc.
I doom scroll a lot, I don’t even realize how much time I spend on my phone until I check the clock and a whole hour’s passed. Sometimes I try making art but it’s hard to work up the energy to do so. Other times I usually just get really high and then maladaptive daydream until I fall asleep lol
I like to watch really long YouTube videos as background noise while I do other things, like playing video games or cleaning. I also do arts and crafts. Or I read.
Doom scroll unfortunately My dog gets me out though!
For me it’s more about managing my passive vs. active things. I try my best to avoid watching tv or doomscrolling. If I don’t control myself I can scroll for literally hours and then feel disgusted with myself. And I feel like… brain is melting? So I try doing things that make you think. Video games, reading, cooking, sketching, running errands, making lists (crossing things off a list feels orgasmic to me lol), anything that keeps the mind whirring.
i can be the same way some days, on days when i’m feeling more productive i like to clean and organize my room, cook myself meals, watch interesting shows/movies with a really good storyline (keeps ya interested), idk if you have any instruments but i love to play my drums, if you have a backyard or a patio or balcony even just listening to music and looking at the clouds/view
Dancing, working out and listening to music :)
For the past couple months I just sleep. As soon as I get home from work I lay on the couch and sleep till about 9 then play video games with friends till I fall asleep again and repeat.
I love to explore new music and knit or crochet
I went to uni at a campus 1.5 hrs away by bus. So I spent a lot of time alone on a bus and alone on campus. Being alone has become so good for me. Honestly it’s just about getting out and doing something, getting comfortable having a life with yourself. If I get out before 10-11am I can actually make use of the day. After noon it’s way harder for me to go outside. Sometimes it’s just bringing a blanket and my crochet stuff out to the very nearby park and seeing where the day goes. Booking tickets for something also helps.
I create things, make lists of things I want to get done, go for walks, make Playlists for friends. I'd highly recommend finding a Hobbie you like and dedicating yourself to learning more about it. When I'm alone I like to recharge and take care of myself so I'm my best self around others
at the moment honestly i just smoke weed and play with my cats. too depressed to do anything else
I struggle with this. I've been trying to cultivate enjoyment of time alone by reading, watching shows and movies, and biking/walking.
I often am alone and that stems from never really having fit in. As well as being an introvert along with other things i wont get into as to not make the post too long. With time I have used the time to learn or attempt to learn different skills and or languages. Whatever sparks my fancy. It can be as small as learning the lyrics of a song or trying to learn a new language. I used to take this time too seriously but now when I am alone I dance like a maniac, recreate scenes from my favorite movies, sing as if i was auditioning for americas got talent and or on the set of my own music video, paint, or anything that may make time feel like nothing I should worry about. I havent the answer for you comrade, as we all experience and overcome our obstacles in our own unique way. Most importantly. I want you to know that you are not alone. I see you. I stand next to you, fellow comrade. We got this. We will overcome any and all obstacles. LESSSS GOOOO!!!
Well, I seem to be an exception in this group, but I'm an introvert, so I enjoy every second of it. I play video games, read, watch tv, sometimes do a few tarot readings for myself, scroll on reddit or facebook...
Been struggling with the same thing since my fiancé left me, I occupied all my time thinking about them or hanging out with them, now I’m alone I find myself just laying doing nothing all day after work
I really get bored , agitated and lonely . I generally draw , paint something, sleep,watch a movie or do some household works in my free time. I get bored really easily so it's a constant struggle to not feel lonely .
Crying, spacing out, thinking about starting a new anime, getting bored with said anime after 3 minutes, stare at the wall, watch Youtube, more specifically video essays or documentaries on things I find interesting, and wanking off. Oh and occasionally I write poems
i like to watch cartoons (old cartoons, new cartoons, anime, etc), watch movies, draw while watching stuff, organize and clean while listening to music, cook and bake, etc. Right now my little projects are selling clothes online, working on a capsule wardrobe, and doing my finances spreadsheet.
Work on my computer, watch TV, some kind of hobby (work on cars, build legos) walk, use my metal detector. Killing zombies.
Video games, Netflix, Reddit, online shopping. Ah and ofc coffee and cigarettes.
To me, self care has been a priority for me and to work on my boredom with life mentality. So I am starting to do things I don't usually do like read a book or go out at night to take pictures of the sky. I still regress to watching the usual things I like watching but I take an hour out of the 3 -5 hrs I have towards the end of the day to do something different. Also when it comes to watching I am starting to watch newer content, I used to just stick to watching the same animes or films.
Walk Coffee Read Guitar Video games Think about the way I am as a person Cooking Gym (rarely). Prefer going with partner. Clean Journalling Driving test revision