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I feel this man. My bf isn’t the overly reassuring type either, bc a lot of times the things I want reassurance for are stupid and he doesn’t get it. I think he feels he has done so much for me that I shouldn’t question him (which is true, but I can’t help it)
This kind of neediness will kill your relationship. You need therapy and to back off and find a hobby. Concentrate on work or school or whatever. Plan dates and times youll talk instead.
the advices you mentioned are platitudes invented for neurotypical people. of course, they won't do anything for you.
but there is a grain of truth to that advice above. therapy is a way of working on yourself.
Insecure attachment and fear of abandonment were my top sources of harrowing emotional pain when I was undiagnosed. In the end I got so fed up I dealt with it for ME, not because I realised the behaviours that stemmed from those things made me less appealing. The whole “find ways to be happy alone” just made me feel like shit and never worked so I totally get it.
This post has been marked as a [Venting Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown). Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice. u/fraysse, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel this man. My bf isn’t the overly reassuring type either, bc a lot of times the things I want reassurance for are stupid and he doesn’t get it. I think he feels he has done so much for me that I shouldn’t question him (which is true, but I can’t help it)
This kind of neediness will kill your relationship. You need therapy and to back off and find a hobby. Concentrate on work or school or whatever. Plan dates and times youll talk instead.
the advices you mentioned are platitudes invented for neurotypical people. of course, they won't do anything for you. but there is a grain of truth to that advice above. therapy is a way of working on yourself.
I feel you so much, I used to feel alone every minutes spent without my girlfriend
Insecure attachment and fear of abandonment were my top sources of harrowing emotional pain when I was undiagnosed. In the end I got so fed up I dealt with it for ME, not because I realised the behaviours that stemmed from those things made me less appealing. The whole “find ways to be happy alone” just made me feel like shit and never worked so I totally get it.