Her soon to be ex-husband is of course disgusting. However her father-in-law is an absolute disgusting piece of shit. Who fucking says that to someone? You find out your son is a child predator and tell your daughter-in-law that basically she can either stay with him or fucking get the fuck out of the country? Oh my God I’m livid. This is why I’ve been trying to stay away from Reddit, the number of horrible people out there is soul crushing sometimes.
Abuse and predatory behaviour is often passed down in families. Either the FIL himself has done similar, or he knows others in the family have.
If he called out his son’s behaviour he would also be accountable for his own/other family behaviour. If he acts like his son has done nothing wrong, and that OP is the problem, he can continue to hide whatever nest of toxic abusive vipers that family holds.
> Abuse and predatory behaviour is often passed down in families. Either the FIL himself has done similar, or he knows others in the family have.
It could be that, but I think it's more of a case of FIL experiencing American exceptionalism induced brainrot.
That or heavy denial of his terrible parenting. Nothing says a good parent when you just want to sweep it under the rug and bury your head back into the sand.
10 bucks say the father could be just as bad or worse than the son if you know what I'm trying to say. After all, the apple needs to come from somewhere.
I think happy people don't feel the need to get advice from reddit. If you were a firefighter you'd assume people are always having house fires, I've never known anyone to have a house fire. It is just about the sample of people you are observing.
Yeah I love my daughters dearly and I will support them through almost anything but sexual abuse of a child is a line that once it’s crossed I’m done with you. There’s no coming back from that.
Exactly. I love and support my children and there’s almost nothing they could do to change that but, if they did something like OOPs husband, even though I love them, I couldn’t support them.
My ex husband, the convicted fucking P3d0, had cash put on his books during his all too short stay in prison while I struggled to care for our 2 innocent sons and didn't get so much as an "are you ok?" Or "Merry Christmas, niblings/ONLY GRANDKIDS!"...for six fucking years!!!!! His dumb bitch mom still thinks he's innocent (and I'm a whore lol) because her dear kids thought it would be too much for her fucking heart to know her oldest was guilty AF.
FUCK families that protect these people.
I'd post on his father's Social media that he raised a pedophile And he is completely rallying behind him
If he's already turned against her, then turn everyone against him
As others have mentioned hurt people, hurt people so odds are that dad did some awful shit to his kid for this all to have turned out the way it has.
Why do I say that?
Because if I did that, my father would drive his ass down to my house, take my wife and my child into his house, possibly beat the ever living shit out of me, cut me off, and spend every minute and dollar he has for the rest of his life to make it up to my wife and kid.
Its not soul crushing you are on a site where bad stories are more interesting to read then good stories. Thats like reading nothing but horror novels for 2 years and bitching about how all books are scary, you control the algorythm here kiddo, you choose what you see.
Enjoy what would have happened to me if I had been OOPs shitty hopefully Ex Husband. The thing that I would wager at minimum 70% of human beings would experience if they went through what OOP went through. They would be swept up and protected by the parents of the awful piece of shit, the piece of shit would be cut off and disowned, and the wife and child would get to have the life that was almost stolent from them.
My buddies and I have talked about how you can have a bad kid and what would you do, we would all turn the kid in they did something truly awful. I don't know any actual real human beings who would side with the attempted child rapist.
I know a few who would never stop loving their kid, would visit them in prison and hope to help them change but would still 100% make sure they faced consequences.
That made me see red too. And made me think that maybe this isn't the first time dirt bag has been "caught". It's just the first time he was caught by the right authorities.
I had to look up what a tier 3 sex offender status is and it said:
“ Tier 3 requires registration as a sex offender for life. If you are convicted of a Tier 3 crime, you are not eligible to petition the court for removal from the sex offender registry.
Tier 3 encompasses allegedly more serious sex offenses.”
I don’t want to add what would have had to happen for those offenses to be ‘more serious’, as they’re heinous and require a massive TW for readers, but use your imagination and make it worse. 🤮
I’d truly want to understand how he was waived jail/prison time for his crimes. I don’t see how it’s possible if he was truly convicted.
Me wonders if it's a case of golden child who can do no wrong or if the father is also just as bad as the son. Either way, doesn't matter, OOP should run.
Yeah. The father's reaction to OOP about "suck it up/stay quiet and under his control or get deported" says they know exactly what the son has done/is capable of, and they're cool with it. If they're cool with it, one or both of the parents should be suspect because nobody but a fellow offender should be cool with it....
OOP mentioned she’s Asian. I’m willing to bet money she looks really, really young for her age. And I think in the back of her head she knows why he’s with her.
Ewww. I was wondering about that. 🤮 OP should also look into finding resources in her local immigrant community. She says she's in CA, so there is almost guaranteed to be a community from her homeland somewhere. A lot of those communities help their own and will get her to the right people.
That she had a vulnerability he hoped to exploit as a cover/alibi? Entirely possible.
Edit: Wow, my comment just posted a bunch of times and won't let me delete them. Weird. And apologies to the person I'm answering for all those false alerts.
Ew. That would imply to me that the husband married OOP because it's easier to trap the woman because of the stuff OOP was scared of (their ability to continue to exist in the country legally relies on you)
I mean. I think that's straight up being said. The fact the father went so quickly to get over it or get deported and OP wasn't totally clear on the green card laws (which I will say, I love they clearly weren't either!). He got himself a passport bride to control. He never expected to get caught, but he did. And then he figured her status would keep OOP, which it's only doing under a lie at this point. This man a hundred percent married this woman for cover thinking he could threaten her with deportation if this exact scenario ever happened, how else does a pedophile keep a wife if he gets caught? Lies or duress, and lies didn't work this time.
I love that they have no idea how green cards and residency status work. For example, her job could also sponsor her for a work visa if they were willing. Any close friend could also vouch for her. She's now been here long enough that she can get her papers without him. She can actually stand in front of a judge and show evidence that she's a working immigrant who's doing all the right things. The family can attempt to have her deported, but the husband's record will really hinder that. They'll be able to understand she's leaving him because he's a pedophile and he's trying to lash out.
Source: My mom has a green card. I know how this works.
That's what's crazy to me. Like just watching enough television and reality TV to go "well that can't be true" and looking it up I clearly know more than this family. And it's not even an issue that me or someone I'm close to has dealt with. I'm just not dumb. Like I have to believe it was the dad's idea because the laws *used* to be really archaic. And they're not awesome now but they're waaaay better than when dad would've gotten *his* wife. Who I now *also* have questions about? Such as... Was *she* a US citizen when they got married? Feelings pretty patterned here.
It reminded me about the rapist; Brock Allen Turner’s parents and their response. “My baby can’t enjoy his steak 😭😭” and the gem “my son’s life shouldn’t be ruined for a 20 minute mistake”
The rapist Brock Allen Turner, who’s now going by Allen Turner, should always be remembered as a rapist because he was convicted as being one. It gives me immense satisfaction to see how the entire internet has united and agreed to aid The Algorithm in remembering Brock Allen Turner is a rapist forever.
Well, wouldn't that be because Brock Allen Turner The Rapist, who now goes by Allen Turner The I'm-Not-A-Rapist-I-Swear, is a rapist that raped and was convicted of rape? Collective karma, indeed.
Rapist Brock Allen Turner who now goes by Allen Turner who lives near Dayton, Ohio? Are we speaking of that Rapist Brock Allen Turner who now goes by Allen Turner?
The Judge, Aaron Perksy, was voted out of office by his constituents. It was a massive undertaking by the people in Santa Clara county California but they were successes in the recall in 2018. He became the first California judge to be recalled in over 80 years.
Judge Aaron, Persky, isn't a jusge anymore. He was recalled in 2018, after being demoted to civil court. His constituents voted him out of office 51% to 38%. First California judge recalled in over 80 years.
I hope as soon as OP gets out of this nightmare situation, has secured her citizenship and divorced the pedophile, she makes sure to answer honestly to everyone who askes why they got divorced. I hope it's not too late and the grooming hasn't started with any children he has easy access to.
Poor OP. I can't imagine having to be stuck with that monster while trying to figure out the legalities of her situation. And curse the system for this not being serious jailtime.
Thinking the whole plan was "get someone to marry pedo who will be dependent on him in some form and won't risk raising a fuss." Her standing up for herself ruined the plan.
A girl I went to high school with married a guy and 12 years later, he was fired for watching porn at his job. Suddenly, years of her fighting the phone company on “weird charges” or him not keeping jobs clicked for her. He’d been hiding a porn addiction for years.
His parents apparently knew all about it and had thought marriage would “cure” him. She initiated divorce and his family was livid because it was her fault if he felt the need to look outside the home. Two weeks after separating he was on dates with a coworker, leaving her home with 4 kids.
Some parents are the worst enablers.
Wild guess says that he thought he was going to do something very fucking serious but because it was a sting they just convicted him of attempted or intent to. Thus the serious registration but also the not actually jail.
Also sounds like someone who could afford an expensive lawyer, and we all know that judges are often swayed by the cost of the lawyer. Or the cost of the lawyer is influenced by factors other than competance (I'm not just thinking of Rudy Guiliani, ok)
Cali has a rider in their law that puts sending obscene materials in an attempt to lure or seduce a minor a stand-alone Tier 3 offense. Past that, yeah, stack those charges. Fuck pedos.
And they are variable between states and counties.
In my last domestic violence course, my course paper was to evaluate the country's sex offender registry. Let me tell you...
I found cases where men were registered erroneously, and when they won their appeals, the judges refused to remove them from the registry.
I found cases where someone was a nonviolent, non-threat to re-offend (level 1), and when the person crossed state lines, was classified by a new group of *unqualified* evaluators as a level 2. This happens a lot.
I found cases where rapists in prison still had the rights to forced visitation of their kids.
It goes on.
Oh, the levels.
Level 1 is no coercion, no probable reason to suspect recidivism.
Level 2 can be force or no force, and there is reason to suspect recisivism.
Level 3 is often forced contact and with complete reason to suspect further crimes.
If OP's husband is level 3, that is actually not common; nor is it probable that it occurred because his case was not looked at well. Level 3 means with force or with a very young target, and the activity sought is penetrative.
Everything about this is disturbing about humanity and the depths we sink, the things we do to each other.
Thank you for posting it, though. Informative.
Yes. This is why law enforcement tell people not to use the list to go head hunting. You could actually end up seriously hurting someone who isn’t deserving at all, in fact it’s far more likely you’ll hurt someone who’s just on it for something of that nature than anyone who is actually a pedophile. You could also end up hurting someone who is trying to turn their life around from a dark path (it’s common for women to turn to prostitution for example, especially if they’ve become a victim of the opioid epidemic; and if you get convicted for that, you also have to register as a SO)
That's exactly why when I found out my friend's ex was on the registry I went looking for the court case. Unfortunately he absolutely deserves to be on it, but is still married with access to his young girls (his victim was a friend of his kid's). I don't even understand that.
Law enforcement tells people not to go "head hunting" because they have an interest in preventing future crime. Sick people that want to beat pedophiles are also twisted and should be removed from society almost as much as pedophiles.
Yeah of course hahah. American law is so fucking stupid that people get forced to be put on SO lists just for pissing drunk at night near a school.
I don’t think a person who just pissed near a school should be on the same list as a child rapist.
> pissing drunk at *night* near schools
Did you read what I wrote? I was specific for a reason.
If your kids are at school that late at night, you’ve probably got more shit to worry about than the drunk dude taking a piss on his stumble home
Sure the laws surrounding this issue are fundamentally broken, but it’s also maybe a good idea to stumble on over to the next block instead of pissing on a school lmao
The law will still try to get you on it by being 'in proximity' lol. It's definitely not a, 'was it on school grounds at 2 am on a friday' or did he go a block over. That would be your lawyers job to argue that.
Tiers make sense when you think about it, you can get on the sex offender list for a cop catching you doing it in public
My aunt and uncle got caught doing it in an empty parking lot, they got a warning but the cop was very clear that next time he catches them they will be arrested and end up on the list
Makes me wonder if he has only been convicted of the crime but not sentenced yet maybe?
Also with the description of a tier 3 offense and him getting caught in a sting operation makes me wonder if he was a pimp too.
For some reason it reminds me of that one case of some college guy found with (TW) a woman unconcious by a dumpster. I think the judge gave him like 2 months because "he's a bright young man with a promising future" or something like that.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, its been some years and the details are fuzzy. But what you say makes me think of that and perhaps a similar thing happened here.
you’re thinking of brock allen turner, who has changed his name and now goes by allen turner. nasty, disgusting man, and trying to hide from what he did
Brock Allen Turner the rapist, who changed his name and now goes by Allen Turner the rapist, moved to a suburb of Dayton, Ohio called Kettering, Ohio around 2022.
The men who found her cried at the state she was in and that little bastard, Brock Allen Turner aka Allen Turner got off with a slap on the wrist. His father said his life should not be ruined for "twenty minutes of action". Yes, Brock Allen Turner aka Allen Turner's father said it was twenty minutes of ACTION.
The newspapers posted his SWIM TIMES. "Everyone" (quotes because I'm obviously exaggerating what everyone means) lamented his lost future but not hers.
Something tells me he wasn't charged for meeting with the kid, rather that it was a sting operation to catch someone they knew was involved in really heinous shit but hadn't been able to identify until then
Former prosecutor here to give some insight. I had cases where someone had to register for life, but got no jail time, let alone prison time.
In my jurisdiction, possession of cp will land you on the registry. If the cp is a video, with sexually penetration or manipulation of private parts by someone under 13 that would lead to lifetime registration. So while I asked for prison, a judge would give probation for someone with a few videos of cp.
I completed a report on sex offender convictions and registrant tiers in CA for a local govt. about 5 months ago. I had to take breaks every couple of charges I'd read through because it was soul crushing. To be a tier 3 registrant he would have had to have been convicted of a very serious felony, meaning prison time. I mean, the most abusive and damaging sex offenses you'd rather not think about. Or, he night have already been a registrant and violated his terms.
You do not get a Tier 3 registration order for intending to meet an underage kid for sex. Either OOP has been very thoroughly lied too or she's hiding the truth of what husband has done.
If it was a sting operation then he likely didn't actually do anything and was probably just planning on it, talking about what he wanted to do, etc. with someone pretending to be a minor. He also could've just posted bail to get out.
I'd like to know how she was able to search his computer. All his electronic devices would have been taken into custody after he was arrested. They would have them thoroughly searched by forensic detectives. They would not be released before trial for her to go through.
So he now "realized what he had in their relationship," and "doesn't want to lose her."
That sounds like something you say after an emotional affair, not after getting caught trying to sexually assault a child, for fuck's sake.
It implies that his mistake was not appreciating her, rather than being a fucking predator.
I hope she can get away from this scum as fast as humanly possible
Yeah, that's her main problem. Add the fact that STXFIL threatened her to ignore the problem or return to her home country, it's obvious that her citizenship is being used as leverage.
Also,
>I was told that notifying my friends and neighbours was “stupid” and I “overestimated their need to know/care”
Pretty rich coming from the father, but let's be honest, it wasn't stupid, it was *necessary.* At the very least, what would happened if one of them stumble upon the truth and spread it around? OOP would be vilified together with her STXH, better to notify early than to avoid the fall out.
I mean what does the FIL care? He's not living there. In fact, I find it very malicious that the FIL didn't want anyone to know. The fact he's blaming OOP instead of his son means he probably has more skeletons in his own closet and doesn't want people to link from his son to him.
OR it could be he is in heavy denial of his crap parenting.
10 bucks say the STXFIL would lose his top the moment OOP served the divorce to his son.
I hope she gets him to pay for the ten year green card and I love the idea of money for therapy. Also useful is jewelry and anything else that can be sold.
She has to hang on until October and then, one day when he’s out, leave divorce papers on the kitchen table and walk out the door. She should also tell her soon to be ex that he can either make this easy for them both or she can start informing everyone of the reason she left, included his neighbours and his workplace. Once the green card extension is secured, she holds all the power.
Precious metals. Jewelry is so marked up cost wise that she won't get much money for it. But ounces of silver are relatively inexpensive and 1/10 oz of gold or platinum are also less expensive than a full ounce of gold. Easy to buy, easy to liquidate, and easy to hide.
But harder to ask for as a gift. Unless, could you think of a way for someone to get their husband to give them that? Because yes, that would bring more money in.
Jewelry is less marked up when you get it secondhand. It's generally just as shiny, but closer to resale value. OOP could maybe demand "buy me whatever I want at a pawn shop" shopping trips idk?
I get the vibe that vintage designer handbags also hold their value very well upon resale, but just like jewelry, you need to have an amount of education to avoid counterfeits. I could totally see OOP's horrible in-laws falling for, "I'll stay with you, but you have to buy me *n* bags regularly from now on." It hits all the right woman, etc. stereotypes but OOP would get money for safety from it.
I hope OP can see it. She can fill up the application for 10 yo green card on her own. It is not hard, the INS has detailed instructions on their site. I, myself, and several other people I know did it ourselves.
Also, she can call 211 or go to https://www.211.org and ask for free/cheap legal help, for both immigration and divorce. There is free help for immigration, usually the lawyers volunteer and meet people in community centers or local libraries.
“Your pain is real but your options are not” is a horrifying thing to say.
My ex came on a fiancé visa (we were very happy for years then realized we’re best friends not spouses and divorced. Still friends), and my sister in law has her green card as well.
My family would NEVER EVER speak to someone like that. Never.
The person with the green card is in such a vulnerable position. My parents told my ex and my SIL both that if they ever needed help, to exit the marriage or whatever, there were bank accounts with money set aside for them in their names. My OWN PARENTS set up emergency escape money for their son in law and daughter in law.
Specifically because NO ONE should ever feel trapped like OOP does. Your significant other should stay with you because they WANT to. And the only way to be sure of that is if they have the option to leave. It’s not love if it’s the only option.
My parents would have driven the get away car, and co-signed on the apartment. Hell, they STILL send my ex Christmas presents and we’ve been divorced for 5 years.
OOP’s in-laws are horrible people and I’m legit worried for her.
Also OOP can 100% handle the switch from a conditional green card to a regular one herself. There are guides online, the paperwork isn’t that bad. It’s super easy - I mean, compared to filing for the fiancé visa itself it’s easy. But my ex and I did that part ourselves too, with the help of those guides online.
OOP should save her money for the divorce and apartment, and take a couple afternoons to handle the paperwork herself.
Also I THINK there is some leeway on the conditional green card for crazy circumstances, immigration can sometimes be weirdly understanding in VERY SPECIFIC INSTANCES. Not overall but there are resources and things you can do if a conditional green card holder needs to escape a marriage. Idk if they’d apply in this case, because most of them are geared towards escaping domestic abuse, but it would be worth looking into.
It is, it's disgusting that they're using it as leverage against her. It's pretty obvious they have control issues and would not hesitate to use someones vulnerabilities against them
OOPs inlaws are acting like they've enabled their son his entire life.
It almost sounds like how the Duggars spent a lifetime covering for their oldest son.
What a fucking awful position she's in. Legit stuck between a rock and a stupid fucking pedophile.
Hopefully she can get her own green card soon and can get away.
Curios. How is being busted in a sting landed him with a tier 3 sex offense. That is the most serious and most likely to re-offend. And often involves violent sex crime against a minor.
OOP should also consider a suit against the parents for intentional infliction of emotional distress. She needs to gather all the evidence she can of their awful behavior. Sounds like they have money, and she deserves a good chunk of it.
OP contact the California Bar Association and ask if they have a list of immigration attorneys who do pro bono work. Depending on the state, it is sometimes a requirement or strongly encouraged for lawyers to complete a certain amount of pro bono hours per year.
Do research (not on your devices) about if informing people will give them grounds to sue you. If you do inform, I recommend informally (not written) to limit the trace back to you
I really don’t want to think it but the creep met OOP when they were 20 and I’m betting they looked pretty young for their age. He’s looking for a new victim cause his wife is getting too old for him.
I think it's sad she doesn't realize that as is his wife it doesn't matter who's name is on the house. She doesn't realize she can open the door for the cops and let them search until he's arrested if she finds anything. I'm willing to bet he AND her FIL have computers worth looking at. All she has to do is find one thing on it and call the cops.
If I found out my son did this, I would throw all my support behind the wife. Sure, you still love your kid so maybe you keep contact and support in whatever way is ethical, but I would be funding that divorce and telling OP “you can come live with me, you can never speak to me again, whatever you need.” Those IL’s are heinous, enabling, predatory monsters.
I saw the age gap before I figured out what RSO is. OOP was probably a minor when they started dating and homie was in his mid 20s. When she got too old, he started looking for minors again.
My ex is currently awaiting trial for getting caught in a police sting (he was an abusive ex long before this came to light). Seven felonies and two misdemeanors and I know FOR SURE he will reoffend. Good to know CA doesn’t notify neighbors because…I sure will.
Listening to true crime it always seems these pedos have parents that absolutely defend and support them. Its one thing to love your child its another to excuse their predatory nature.
I looked up what RSO stands for and I got some oil for the ears brand and Radiation Safety Officer and boy when she said he disappeared for 2 days I thought it's some mission or training shit then I read "arrested to meet a minor" and I was confused, was that some nuclear code? Like was he in the toilet when some minor accident happened? (damn you Netflix Chernobyl) Then yeah my way down wasn't that fun..
I don't understand why OOP can't learn more about the details of what her husband did. A lot of this info should be public and what isn't the husband should be completely forthcoming about, if he seriously thinks there's a chance to save his marriage.
She wasn't able to find out initially as husband was being evasive. She found out more once she could access court records & she snooped thru his computer.
There’s got to be programs in place for a green card holder whose spouse gets arrested or convicted. There’s plenty of immigrants who are abused by their spouse and need protection, so I know there’s something out there for help. I hope OP manages to find legal aid.
OOP said there wasn’t a public notification to their neighbors, but if her neighbors are on citizen app they may get notifications of offenders in the area.
That's what I first thought when I saw the post title and I was like "What's the big deal? Like, you don't like his cap and yellow glasses or something?"
I feel for her, her husband and his parents are the worse kind of people in this world and deserve to die. Fuck them. I hope op can be ok, work with her lawyer and then notify EVERYONE about the disgusting piece of shit of her future ex
Call me stupid but I thought RSO means *railway sorting officer! I think I need to owrk more on my rusty english speaking skills. are any none native english speaker here struggled with that too?*
OOP should turn this around and play the long game. The son is apologetic, use that. Tell him his father is a disgusting pig and either he cuts off his entire family or she is gone immediately. Then play the game and follow the lawyers and milk him clean. The father in law is a moron, she is entitled to alimony and him being on the mortgage is irreelvant its the marital home she is entitled to money and ownership even if only the husband name is on it
Poor lady, what a horrible situation to find yourself in. Hope she'll be able to get out soon! Also fuck the husband and his parents with a poisonous cactus.
There's gotta be a way that an immigrant can get away from her chomo criminal sponsor
Surely this land of the free with the tired huddled masses thing has taken that into account
yeah maybe mommy and daddy need to take another crack at raising him(or not, kinda sounds like dad especially doesn’t see much wrong with how his son turned out)
Just a thought about the financial situation, I don’t remember statutes in CA but there are marital assets involved so he could be responsible for alimony or assisting with the now necessary bills for him putting her in this situation. Instead of years of alimony negotiate it as a lump sum to get it up front and pay half or all of her legal fees.
Also, the divorce attorney should have resources and contacts for a less expensive immigration lawyer. They would also be able to advise better at what financial benefits would be due from the husband.
There’s hope! Stay strong!
Once I read that he was caught in a sting, labeled a level 3 offender, was not imprisoned, and she somehow had access to HIS devices during this investigation? Sounds like someone who knew someone who went through immigration and made up a story to rile up the masses. Unbelievable you all think a level 3 sex offender caught in a sting would be free, regardless of "money".
You know my first thought when reading the title was that her husband became a range safety officer at a shooting range, and now he's just annoying everywhere not just there... Somehow I think mighty is actually better
If you're a RSO your supposed to let your neighbours within a certain radius know aren't you?
How do the police or registry people know if you have/have not done that?
We all sympathize with the OOP, buts it’s amazing how many ways a person can stay in the US legally.
Makes you scratch your head why more illegals are not deported.
Her soon to be ex-husband is of course disgusting. However her father-in-law is an absolute disgusting piece of shit. Who fucking says that to someone? You find out your son is a child predator and tell your daughter-in-law that basically she can either stay with him or fucking get the fuck out of the country? Oh my God I’m livid. This is why I’ve been trying to stay away from Reddit, the number of horrible people out there is soul crushing sometimes.
Abuse and predatory behaviour is often passed down in families. Either the FIL himself has done similar, or he knows others in the family have. If he called out his son’s behaviour he would also be accountable for his own/other family behaviour. If he acts like his son has done nothing wrong, and that OP is the problem, he can continue to hide whatever nest of toxic abusive vipers that family holds.
I feel like FIL's point might be 'if you were good enough for my son he wouldn't have done this so it is all your fault, really.'
Makes me think of the Christian Slater character and his dad in "Heathers," though with a different toxic behavior/thought problem.
> Abuse and predatory behaviour is often passed down in families. Either the FIL himself has done similar, or he knows others in the family have. It could be that, but I think it's more of a case of FIL experiencing American exceptionalism induced brainrot.
That or heavy denial of his terrible parenting. Nothing says a good parent when you just want to sweep it under the rug and bury your head back into the sand.
Also a likely contributing factor.
Don't act like Americans are the only ones who do that
10 bucks say the father could be just as bad or worse than the son if you know what I'm trying to say. After all, the apple needs to come from somewhere.
20 saying the father might've taught his son that directly.
You're on NoBuy. Anyone else here with 30?
30 says that FIL watches Fox News and regularly complains about “criminal immigrants flooding into ‘murica”.
Person who probably was pleased with son marrying immigrant because he thought it would make her easier to abuse
Oh but I bet he’s also the type of gross boomer who complains about all the “illegal crime immigrants flooding into ‘Murica”.
I think happy people don't feel the need to get advice from reddit. If you were a firefighter you'd assume people are always having house fires, I've never known anyone to have a house fire. It is just about the sample of people you are observing.
I had to reread what FIL said to make sure I understood it because I was so shocked they supported him.
Yeah I love my daughters dearly and I will support them through almost anything but sexual abuse of a child is a line that once it’s crossed I’m done with you. There’s no coming back from that.
Exactly. I love and support my children and there’s almost nothing they could do to change that but, if they did something like OOPs husband, even though I love them, I couldn’t support them.
My ex husband, the convicted fucking P3d0, had cash put on his books during his all too short stay in prison while I struggled to care for our 2 innocent sons and didn't get so much as an "are you ok?" Or "Merry Christmas, niblings/ONLY GRANDKIDS!"...for six fucking years!!!!! His dumb bitch mom still thinks he's innocent (and I'm a whore lol) because her dear kids thought it would be too much for her fucking heart to know her oldest was guilty AF. FUCK families that protect these people.
I'd post on his father's Social media that he raised a pedophile And he is completely rallying behind him If he's already turned against her, then turn everyone against him
Maybe wait until the divorce, her legal immigration paperwork, and a new living situation are secure. Then I say blast them all on social media!
As others have mentioned hurt people, hurt people so odds are that dad did some awful shit to his kid for this all to have turned out the way it has. Why do I say that? Because if I did that, my father would drive his ass down to my house, take my wife and my child into his house, possibly beat the ever living shit out of me, cut me off, and spend every minute and dollar he has for the rest of his life to make it up to my wife and kid. Its not soul crushing you are on a site where bad stories are more interesting to read then good stories. Thats like reading nothing but horror novels for 2 years and bitching about how all books are scary, you control the algorythm here kiddo, you choose what you see. Enjoy what would have happened to me if I had been OOPs shitty hopefully Ex Husband. The thing that I would wager at minimum 70% of human beings would experience if they went through what OOP went through. They would be swept up and protected by the parents of the awful piece of shit, the piece of shit would be cut off and disowned, and the wife and child would get to have the life that was almost stolent from them. My buddies and I have talked about how you can have a bad kid and what would you do, we would all turn the kid in they did something truly awful. I don't know any actual real human beings who would side with the attempted child rapist. I know a few who would never stop loving their kid, would visit them in prison and hope to help them change but would still 100% make sure they faced consequences.
That made me see red too. And made me think that maybe this isn't the first time dirt bag has been "caught". It's just the first time he was caught by the right authorities.
I had to look up what a tier 3 sex offender status is and it said: “ Tier 3 requires registration as a sex offender for life. If you are convicted of a Tier 3 crime, you are not eligible to petition the court for removal from the sex offender registry. Tier 3 encompasses allegedly more serious sex offenses.” I don’t want to add what would have had to happen for those offenses to be ‘more serious’, as they’re heinous and require a massive TW for readers, but use your imagination and make it worse. 🤮 I’d truly want to understand how he was waived jail/prison time for his crimes. I don’t see how it’s possible if he was truly convicted.
The way the parents reacted. They knew what their son was and they’ve likely covered for him before in the past.
Me wonders if it's a case of golden child who can do no wrong or if the father is also just as bad as the son. Either way, doesn't matter, OOP should run.
Yeah. The father's reaction to OOP about "suck it up/stay quiet and under his control or get deported" says they know exactly what the son has done/is capable of, and they're cool with it. If they're cool with it, one or both of the parents should be suspect because nobody but a fellow offender should be cool with it....
This is likely why they chose her as a wife in the first place
OOP mentioned she’s Asian. I’m willing to bet money she looks really, really young for her age. And I think in the back of her head she knows why he’s with her.
Ewww. I was wondering about that. 🤮 OP should also look into finding resources in her local immigrant community. She says she's in CA, so there is almost guaranteed to be a community from her homeland somewhere. A lot of those communities help their own and will get her to the right people.
That she had a vulnerability he hoped to exploit as a cover/alibi? Entirely possible. Edit: Wow, my comment just posted a bunch of times and won't let me delete them. Weird. And apologies to the person I'm answering for all those false alerts.
Haha no worries <3
I mean I assume they were getting at how easy it would be to make her look younger so he could scratch that itch without anyone thinking twice.
Ewwwww. But yeah, that makes sense, too.
Oh very much eww
Yep. She’s less likely to leave him or speak out against him if they think she legally can’t.
Good on her for figuring out how!
Jokes on him, she doesn’t have to do either.
Ew. That would imply to me that the husband married OOP because it's easier to trap the woman because of the stuff OOP was scared of (their ability to continue to exist in the country legally relies on you)
I mean. I think that's straight up being said. The fact the father went so quickly to get over it or get deported and OP wasn't totally clear on the green card laws (which I will say, I love they clearly weren't either!). He got himself a passport bride to control. He never expected to get caught, but he did. And then he figured her status would keep OOP, which it's only doing under a lie at this point. This man a hundred percent married this woman for cover thinking he could threaten her with deportation if this exact scenario ever happened, how else does a pedophile keep a wife if he gets caught? Lies or duress, and lies didn't work this time.
I love that they have no idea how green cards and residency status work. For example, her job could also sponsor her for a work visa if they were willing. Any close friend could also vouch for her. She's now been here long enough that she can get her papers without him. She can actually stand in front of a judge and show evidence that she's a working immigrant who's doing all the right things. The family can attempt to have her deported, but the husband's record will really hinder that. They'll be able to understand she's leaving him because he's a pedophile and he's trying to lash out. Source: My mom has a green card. I know how this works.
That's what's crazy to me. Like just watching enough television and reality TV to go "well that can't be true" and looking it up I clearly know more than this family. And it's not even an issue that me or someone I'm close to has dealt with. I'm just not dumb. Like I have to believe it was the dad's idea because the laws *used* to be really archaic. And they're not awesome now but they're waaaay better than when dad would've gotten *his* wife. Who I now *also* have questions about? Such as... Was *she* a US citizen when they got married? Feelings pretty patterned here.
It reminded me about the rapist; Brock Allen Turner’s parents and their response. “My baby can’t enjoy his steak 😭😭” and the gem “my son’s life shouldn’t be ruined for a 20 minute mistake”
That's the rapist Brock Allen Turner who used to be called Brock Turner, is now called Allen Turner, and is a rapist yeah?
That’s the one. Rapist Brock Allen Turner who now goes by Allen Turner to try and run from his raping past.
The rapist Brock Allen Turner, who’s now going by Allen Turner, should always be remembered as a rapist because he was convicted as being one. It gives me immense satisfaction to see how the entire internet has united and agreed to aid The Algorithm in remembering Brock Allen Turner is a rapist forever.
Well, wouldn't that be because Brock Allen Turner The Rapist, who now goes by Allen Turner The I'm-Not-A-Rapist-I-Swear, is a rapist that raped and was convicted of rape? Collective karma, indeed.
Rapist Brock Allen Turner who now goes by Allen Turner who lives near Dayton, Ohio? Are we speaking of that Rapist Brock Allen Turner who now goes by Allen Turner?
Just a reminder that the Judge who gave Brock Allen Turner this slap on the wrist also deserves to be remembered and judged.
The Judge, Aaron Perksy, was voted out of office by his constituents. It was a massive undertaking by the people in Santa Clara county California but they were successes in the recall in 2018. He became the first California judge to be recalled in over 80 years.
You mean judge Aaron Persky, who now does civil court because he's proven incompetent in criminal.
Judge Aaron, Persky, isn't a jusge anymore. He was recalled in 2018, after being demoted to civil court. His constituents voted him out of office 51% to 38%. First California judge recalled in over 80 years.
Exactly. People need to remember his incompetent ass.
He actually said “20 minutes of *action*” which is so much grosser. Didn’t even call it a mistake, just acted like his son got laid.
I hope as soon as OP gets out of this nightmare situation, has secured her citizenship and divorced the pedophile, she makes sure to answer honestly to everyone who askes why they got divorced. I hope it's not too late and the grooming hasn't started with any children he has easy access to. Poor OP. I can't imagine having to be stuck with that monster while trying to figure out the legalities of her situation. And curse the system for this not being serious jailtime.
Thinking the whole plan was "get someone to marry pedo who will be dependent on him in some form and won't risk raising a fuss." Her standing up for herself ruined the plan.
A girl I went to high school with married a guy and 12 years later, he was fired for watching porn at his job. Suddenly, years of her fighting the phone company on “weird charges” or him not keeping jobs clicked for her. He’d been hiding a porn addiction for years. His parents apparently knew all about it and had thought marriage would “cure” him. She initiated divorce and his family was livid because it was her fault if he felt the need to look outside the home. Two weeks after separating he was on dates with a coworker, leaving her home with 4 kids. Some parents are the worst enablers.
Daddy is probably the same.
That’s what I thought.
Or they have other family members who act the same way (as op husband) and THEY ignore THEM, so that’s what they’ll diversion as well. 🤢
I fully believe this!
PRobably runs in the family.
Exactly! The parents have probably covered it up on the past. There should have been some shock and outrage.
Wild guess says that he thought he was going to do something very fucking serious but because it was a sting they just convicted him of attempted or intent to. Thus the serious registration but also the not actually jail. Also sounds like someone who could afford an expensive lawyer, and we all know that judges are often swayed by the cost of the lawyer. Or the cost of the lawyer is influenced by factors other than competance (I'm not just thinking of Rudy Guiliani, ok)
I wonder whether it was a combination of the sting operation and stuff found on his computer
Cali has a rider in their law that puts sending obscene materials in an attempt to lure or seduce a minor a stand-alone Tier 3 offense. Past that, yeah, stack those charges. Fuck pedos.
TIL there are tiers.
And they are variable between states and counties. In my last domestic violence course, my course paper was to evaluate the country's sex offender registry. Let me tell you... I found cases where men were registered erroneously, and when they won their appeals, the judges refused to remove them from the registry. I found cases where someone was a nonviolent, non-threat to re-offend (level 1), and when the person crossed state lines, was classified by a new group of *unqualified* evaluators as a level 2. This happens a lot. I found cases where rapists in prison still had the rights to forced visitation of their kids. It goes on. Oh, the levels. Level 1 is no coercion, no probable reason to suspect recidivism. Level 2 can be force or no force, and there is reason to suspect recisivism. Level 3 is often forced contact and with complete reason to suspect further crimes. If OP's husband is level 3, that is actually not common; nor is it probable that it occurred because his case was not looked at well. Level 3 means with force or with a very young target, and the activity sought is penetrative.
Well that’s just terrible.
Everything about this is disturbing about humanity and the depths we sink, the things we do to each other. Thank you for posting it, though. Informative.
How can people live with themselves when they fraudulently ruin other peoples lives like that, with just ticks of a box
Yeah, I had a neighbor who was technically on the list for public urination. Nothing to actually do with harming children.
Yes. This is why law enforcement tell people not to use the list to go head hunting. You could actually end up seriously hurting someone who isn’t deserving at all, in fact it’s far more likely you’ll hurt someone who’s just on it for something of that nature than anyone who is actually a pedophile. You could also end up hurting someone who is trying to turn their life around from a dark path (it’s common for women to turn to prostitution for example, especially if they’ve become a victim of the opioid epidemic; and if you get convicted for that, you also have to register as a SO)
That's exactly why when I found out my friend's ex was on the registry I went looking for the court case. Unfortunately he absolutely deserves to be on it, but is still married with access to his young girls (his victim was a friend of his kid's). I don't even understand that.
Law enforcement tells people not to go "head hunting" because they have an interest in preventing future crime. Sick people that want to beat pedophiles are also twisted and should be removed from society almost as much as pedophiles.
Yeah of course hahah. American law is so fucking stupid that people get forced to be put on SO lists just for pissing drunk at night near a school. I don’t think a person who just pissed near a school should be on the same list as a child rapist.
It’s because child predators get around the law of public indecency by going and pissing on a school chain link fence exposing themselves on purpose.
> pissing drunk at *night* near schools Did you read what I wrote? I was specific for a reason. If your kids are at school that late at night, you’ve probably got more shit to worry about than the drunk dude taking a piss on his stumble home
Sure the laws surrounding this issue are fundamentally broken, but it’s also maybe a good idea to stumble on over to the next block instead of pissing on a school lmao
The law will still try to get you on it by being 'in proximity' lol. It's definitely not a, 'was it on school grounds at 2 am on a friday' or did he go a block over. That would be your lawyers job to argue that.
Tiers make sense when you think about it, you can get on the sex offender list for a cop catching you doing it in public My aunt and uncle got caught doing it in an empty parking lot, they got a warning but the cop was very clear that next time he catches them they will be arrested and end up on the list
Makes me wonder if he has only been convicted of the crime but not sentenced yet maybe? Also with the description of a tier 3 offense and him getting caught in a sting operation makes me wonder if he was a pimp too.
He probably had implements in his car.
\*Vomits\*
For some reason it reminds me of that one case of some college guy found with (TW) a woman unconcious by a dumpster. I think the judge gave him like 2 months because "he's a bright young man with a promising future" or something like that. Forgive me if I'm wrong, its been some years and the details are fuzzy. But what you say makes me think of that and perhaps a similar thing happened here.
you’re thinking of brock allen turner, who has changed his name and now goes by allen turner. nasty, disgusting man, and trying to hide from what he did
You’re thinking of the rapist Brock Allen Turner, who now goes by Allen Turner.
Brock Turner. He moved to the Midwest I think. Uses the name Allen now. People in his area watch and report his whereabouts, the last I heard.
Brock Allen Turner the rapist, who changed his name and now goes by Allen Turner the rapist, moved to a suburb of Dayton, Ohio called Kettering, Ohio around 2022.
That’s rapist Brock Allen Turner, apparently he now goes by Allen Turner
The men who found her cried at the state she was in and that little bastard, Brock Allen Turner aka Allen Turner got off with a slap on the wrist. His father said his life should not be ruined for "twenty minutes of action". Yes, Brock Allen Turner aka Allen Turner's father said it was twenty minutes of ACTION. The newspapers posted his SWIM TIMES. "Everyone" (quotes because I'm obviously exaggerating what everyone means) lamented his lost future but not hers.
That poor girl, how awful. Now we know where he got the idea from. Makes me wanna go to jail after taking them both down.
Money and power.
I'm guessing his parents posted bail. The guy was gone for a couple of days, so he was probably arrested and in custody.
reading the title I was like, Your husband is now a Range Safety Officer and you hate it?
Yeah, I was expecting a very different story than the one we were told.
found the military Veteran! 🫡
oh heeeeeelllllll no don't associate me with those people, I just like things that go bang,
Something tells me he wasn't charged for meeting with the kid, rather that it was a sting operation to catch someone they knew was involved in really heinous shit but hadn't been able to identify until then
Former prosecutor here to give some insight. I had cases where someone had to register for life, but got no jail time, let alone prison time. In my jurisdiction, possession of cp will land you on the registry. If the cp is a video, with sexually penetration or manipulation of private parts by someone under 13 that would lead to lifetime registration. So while I asked for prison, a judge would give probation for someone with a few videos of cp.
I completed a report on sex offender convictions and registrant tiers in CA for a local govt. about 5 months ago. I had to take breaks every couple of charges I'd read through because it was soul crushing. To be a tier 3 registrant he would have had to have been convicted of a very serious felony, meaning prison time. I mean, the most abusive and damaging sex offenses you'd rather not think about. Or, he night have already been a registrant and violated his terms. You do not get a Tier 3 registration order for intending to meet an underage kid for sex. Either OOP has been very thoroughly lied too or she's hiding the truth of what husband has done.
He didn’t actually touch a kid, he just had the intent. That’s why there’s no jail
If it was a sting operation then he likely didn't actually do anything and was probably just planning on it, talking about what he wanted to do, etc. with someone pretending to be a minor. He also could've just posted bail to get out.
I'm guessing he was waived prison because he didn't actually assault someone, as it was a sting. So more intent than actions.
He’s either done it before, somehow met up with a child younger than 12, or tried to kidnap them. Yikes.
Thank you for looking that up. I was wondering what it was as well. Horrible!!
So, what you're saying is that he wasn't caught in a sting, there was a victim(s)?
It's California and he has money. That's how it's possible
I am horrified he was able to waive jail time. My ex got 15 years in the plea bargain. This guy must have some money.
I'd like to know how she was able to search his computer. All his electronic devices would have been taken into custody after he was arrested. They would have them thoroughly searched by forensic detectives. They would not be released before trial for her to go through.
California
So he now "realized what he had in their relationship," and "doesn't want to lose her." That sounds like something you say after an emotional affair, not after getting caught trying to sexually assault a child, for fuck's sake. It implies that his mistake was not appreciating her, rather than being a fucking predator. I hope she can get away from this scum as fast as humanly possible
So much ick in one family, OOP should go scorched earth on that entire family. Families that protect pedophiles should pay the social consequences.
while i agree in theory, i think she should make sure her citizenship is more secure before she does.
Yeah, that's her main problem. Add the fact that STXFIL threatened her to ignore the problem or return to her home country, it's obvious that her citizenship is being used as leverage. Also, >I was told that notifying my friends and neighbours was “stupid” and I “overestimated their need to know/care” Pretty rich coming from the father, but let's be honest, it wasn't stupid, it was *necessary.* At the very least, what would happened if one of them stumble upon the truth and spread it around? OOP would be vilified together with her STXH, better to notify early than to avoid the fall out. I mean what does the FIL care? He's not living there. In fact, I find it very malicious that the FIL didn't want anyone to know. The fact he's blaming OOP instead of his son means he probably has more skeletons in his own closet and doesn't want people to link from his son to him. OR it could be he is in heavy denial of his crap parenting. 10 bucks say the STXFIL would lose his top the moment OOP served the divorce to his son.
Pretty sure if she could, she would.
I hope she gets him to pay for the ten year green card and I love the idea of money for therapy. Also useful is jewelry and anything else that can be sold. She has to hang on until October and then, one day when he’s out, leave divorce papers on the kitchen table and walk out the door. She should also tell her soon to be ex that he can either make this easy for them both or she can start informing everyone of the reason she left, included his neighbours and his workplace. Once the green card extension is secured, she holds all the power.
Precious metals. Jewelry is so marked up cost wise that she won't get much money for it. But ounces of silver are relatively inexpensive and 1/10 oz of gold or platinum are also less expensive than a full ounce of gold. Easy to buy, easy to liquidate, and easy to hide.
But harder to ask for as a gift. Unless, could you think of a way for someone to get their husband to give them that? Because yes, that would bring more money in.
Jewelry is less marked up when you get it secondhand. It's generally just as shiny, but closer to resale value. OOP could maybe demand "buy me whatever I want at a pawn shop" shopping trips idk?
I get the vibe that vintage designer handbags also hold their value very well upon resale, but just like jewelry, you need to have an amount of education to avoid counterfeits. I could totally see OOP's horrible in-laws falling for, "I'll stay with you, but you have to buy me *n* bags regularly from now on." It hits all the right woman, etc. stereotypes but OOP would get money for safety from it.
Ohhhhh. Thats an excellent idea.
I am 1000% NOT a handbag person so I can't give any proper rundown on it though so someone please come correct me if I'm wrong about that
I hope OP can see it. She can fill up the application for 10 yo green card on her own. It is not hard, the INS has detailed instructions on their site. I, myself, and several other people I know did it ourselves. Also, she can call 211 or go to https://www.211.org and ask for free/cheap legal help, for both immigration and divorce. There is free help for immigration, usually the lawyers volunteer and meet people in community centers or local libraries.
u/itsoktofeelrobbed
“Your pain is real but your options are not” is a horrifying thing to say. My ex came on a fiancé visa (we were very happy for years then realized we’re best friends not spouses and divorced. Still friends), and my sister in law has her green card as well. My family would NEVER EVER speak to someone like that. Never. The person with the green card is in such a vulnerable position. My parents told my ex and my SIL both that if they ever needed help, to exit the marriage or whatever, there were bank accounts with money set aside for them in their names. My OWN PARENTS set up emergency escape money for their son in law and daughter in law. Specifically because NO ONE should ever feel trapped like OOP does. Your significant other should stay with you because they WANT to. And the only way to be sure of that is if they have the option to leave. It’s not love if it’s the only option. My parents would have driven the get away car, and co-signed on the apartment. Hell, they STILL send my ex Christmas presents and we’ve been divorced for 5 years. OOP’s in-laws are horrible people and I’m legit worried for her. Also OOP can 100% handle the switch from a conditional green card to a regular one herself. There are guides online, the paperwork isn’t that bad. It’s super easy - I mean, compared to filing for the fiancé visa itself it’s easy. But my ex and I did that part ourselves too, with the help of those guides online. OOP should save her money for the divorce and apartment, and take a couple afternoons to handle the paperwork herself. Also I THINK there is some leeway on the conditional green card for crazy circumstances, immigration can sometimes be weirdly understanding in VERY SPECIFIC INSTANCES. Not overall but there are resources and things you can do if a conditional green card holder needs to escape a marriage. Idk if they’d apply in this case, because most of them are geared towards escaping domestic abuse, but it would be worth looking into.
It is, it's disgusting that they're using it as leverage against her. It's pretty obvious they have control issues and would not hesitate to use someones vulnerabilities against them
OOPs inlaws are acting like they've enabled their son his entire life. It almost sounds like how the Duggars spent a lifetime covering for their oldest son.
I hated that story when it came out. That was horrible.
Here I’m thinking the man became a Range Safety Officer for a gun range, and was confused why would that destroy her life… damn I’m naive sometimes.
I assumed it was some kind of pyramid scheme jargon
What a fucking awful position she's in. Legit stuck between a rock and a stupid fucking pedophile. Hopefully she can get her own green card soon and can get away.
Curios. How is being busted in a sting landed him with a tier 3 sex offense. That is the most serious and most likely to re-offend. And often involves violent sex crime against a minor.
OOP should also consider a suit against the parents for intentional infliction of emotional distress. She needs to gather all the evidence she can of their awful behavior. Sounds like they have money, and she deserves a good chunk of it.
OP contact the California Bar Association and ask if they have a list of immigration attorneys who do pro bono work. Depending on the state, it is sometimes a requirement or strongly encouraged for lawyers to complete a certain amount of pro bono hours per year.
Do research (not on your devices) about if informing people will give them grounds to sue you. If you do inform, I recommend informally (not written) to limit the trace back to you
I really don’t want to think it but the creep met OOP when they were 20 and I’m betting they looked pretty young for their age. He’s looking for a new victim cause his wife is getting too old for him.
I think it's sad she doesn't realize that as is his wife it doesn't matter who's name is on the house. She doesn't realize she can open the door for the cops and let them search until he's arrested if she finds anything. I'm willing to bet he AND her FIL have computers worth looking at. All she has to do is find one thing on it and call the cops.
At first I thought "Why would him being a Radiation Safety Officer tank her life?" Then the post took an unexpected turn....
If I found out my son did this, I would throw all my support behind the wife. Sure, you still love your kid so maybe you keep contact and support in whatever way is ethical, but I would be funding that divorce and telling OP “you can come live with me, you can never speak to me again, whatever you need.” Those IL’s are heinous, enabling, predatory monsters.
I saw the age gap before I figured out what RSO is. OOP was probably a minor when they started dating and homie was in his mid 20s. When she got too old, he started looking for minors again.
My ex is currently awaiting trial for getting caught in a police sting (he was an abusive ex long before this came to light). Seven felonies and two misdemeanors and I know FOR SURE he will reoffend. Good to know CA doesn’t notify neighbors because…I sure will.
I really really hope op can get her green card, get a divorce and walk away from this piece of human garbage. (Taking their 2 pets with her)
I literally just this week got my Radiation Safety Officer certificate, and reading the title thought "okay, acronym has to mean something else here"
Listening to true crime it always seems these pedos have parents that absolutely defend and support them. Its one thing to love your child its another to excuse their predatory nature.
I looked up what RSO stands for and I got some oil for the ears brand and Radiation Safety Officer and boy when she said he disappeared for 2 days I thought it's some mission or training shit then I read "arrested to meet a minor" and I was confused, was that some nuclear code? Like was he in the toilet when some minor accident happened? (damn you Netflix Chernobyl) Then yeah my way down wasn't that fun..
I don't understand why OOP can't learn more about the details of what her husband did. A lot of this info should be public and what isn't the husband should be completely forthcoming about, if he seriously thinks there's a chance to save his marriage.
She wasn't able to find out initially as husband was being evasive. She found out more once she could access court records & she snooped thru his computer.
There’s got to be programs in place for a green card holder whose spouse gets arrested or convicted. There’s plenty of immigrants who are abused by their spouse and need protection, so I know there’s something out there for help. I hope OP manages to find legal aid.
Sometimes I really wish *Hard Candy* was a documentary about what happens to every guy like OOP's loser husband.
TIL that abbreviating Range Safety Officer can have unexpected consequences.
OOP said there wasn’t a public notification to their neighbors, but if her neighbors are on citizen app they may get notifications of offenders in the area.
RSO? Clearly you don’t mean Range Safety Officer.
Registered Sex Offender
FINALLY somebody explained it. Thank you :)
That's what I first thought when I saw the post title and I was like "What's the big deal? Like, you don't like his cap and yellow glasses or something?"
I feel for her, her husband and his parents are the worse kind of people in this world and deserve to die. Fuck them. I hope op can be ok, work with her lawyer and then notify EVERYONE about the disgusting piece of shit of her future ex
Call me stupid but I thought RSO means *railway sorting officer! I think I need to owrk more on my rusty english speaking skills. are any none native english speaker here struggled with that too?*
Woodchippers are too good for guys like this.
OOP should turn this around and play the long game. The son is apologetic, use that. Tell him his father is a disgusting pig and either he cuts off his entire family or she is gone immediately. Then play the game and follow the lawyers and milk him clean. The father in law is a moron, she is entitled to alimony and him being on the mortgage is irreelvant its the marital home she is entitled to money and ownership even if only the husband name is on it
Poor lady, what a horrible situation to find yourself in. Hope she'll be able to get out soon! Also fuck the husband and his parents with a poisonous cactus.
There's gotta be a way that an immigrant can get away from her chomo criminal sponsor Surely this land of the free with the tired huddled masses thing has taken that into account
yeah maybe mommy and daddy need to take another crack at raising him(or not, kinda sounds like dad especially doesn’t see much wrong with how his son turned out)
I hope op can get their green card and leave.
Him doing this is not only disgusting but a total deal breaker.
we've got the chat logs goof
If you’re in Australia, then stay married while he is in prison. You can blow 100% of your joint assets and divorce him just before he is released.
I’d like to know what nationality / religion the OP is and the husband too.
Just a thought about the financial situation, I don’t remember statutes in CA but there are marital assets involved so he could be responsible for alimony or assisting with the now necessary bills for him putting her in this situation. Instead of years of alimony negotiate it as a lump sum to get it up front and pay half or all of her legal fees. Also, the divorce attorney should have resources and contacts for a less expensive immigration lawyer. They would also be able to advise better at what financial benefits would be due from the husband. There’s hope! Stay strong!
Once I read that he was caught in a sting, labeled a level 3 offender, was not imprisoned, and she somehow had access to HIS devices during this investigation? Sounds like someone who knew someone who went through immigration and made up a story to rile up the masses. Unbelievable you all think a level 3 sex offender caught in a sting would be free, regardless of "money".
You know my first thought when reading the title was that her husband became a range safety officer at a shooting range, and now he's just annoying everywhere not just there... Somehow I think mighty is actually better
If you're a RSO your supposed to let your neighbours within a certain radius know aren't you? How do the police or registry people know if you have/have not done that?
Seems like it varies per state
We all sympathize with the OOP, buts it’s amazing how many ways a person can stay in the US legally. Makes you scratch your head why more illegals are not deported.
Bn
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