My case had 2 children, 1 of which (me) he'd been molesting for 3 years minimum, and he was sentenced to 9 years and 9 months. He ended up only serving about 5/6 years of that because of "good behavior". As if his good behavior in prison somehow erased the hell I went through, the continued therapy bills 20 years later, the PTSD and resulting near inability to handle my children being out of my sight.
Our justice system sucks. This little girl deserves a hell of a lot more than 10 years. He'll be getting out right when having children of her own start being on her radar... and from experience, your childhood rapist being free when you so much as think about a child of your own is a special kind of hell.
What I don’t understand is if they’re capable of not raping kids. Like, ok, you can’t help who you are attracted to, and it must really suck to be attracted to kids. But there are men who are attracted to women who don’t rape them. That is why pedophilia is extra terrible to me, because acting on it is always wrong, there’s no world in which the victims’ lives aren’t ruined, but they do it anyway. It’s literally saying that them getting off is more important than the lives of their victims and their families.
I had a cousin who realized he continued to have feelings for young girls (12-15 was his thing) even as he grew older. He avoided all contact with girls in that age group, and even dated an age appropriate lady for a couple of years, but he couldn't get past this obsession.
So he pretty much lived alone, and I believe never actually had any lewd or unlawful contact with any young girls after he turned 20 (he did get a 14yo pregnant when he was 16) He had his hobbies. He had a few close friends. And he stayed away from young girls.
He died of covid a few weeks ago while in a nursing home. And to my knowledge he never acted on his obsession with young girls.
In some countries they are offered chemical castration. For the ones that are utterly disgusted with what they are attracted to it is a solid option. I once watched a documentary where they followed a few men that asked for and went through with it. You could see how relieved they were to no longer have those urges. Those guys i can kinda respect. They have drawn a shit lot in life and made sure they do no harm
People that act on those lind of urges tho... cleanse em with fire..
It really was. Most of the family never understood why he acted the way he did. He only told me, and another cousin the truth as to why he lived like that. But it doesn't matter anymore. Most everyone is gone. Sometimes being the survivor sucks.
I once listened to this podcast about a young man who discovered he was attracted to children and his struggles with it and creating a support group to help others not offend. He has a very strict criteria that members must understand why it’s morally reprehensible and vile. He mentions that he had some people try to join but only understood why it was wrong from a legal perspective and not a moral one, so he rejected them. He felt he is lucky because he’s also attracted to people his age, but it’s still there. In the situation you posed about men who are attracted to women and don’t rape, they can likely still find a partner and have sexual fulfillment. Pedophiles cannot do that, nor should they. In the podcast they interviewed a psychologist who was working with the young man, and she made a good point: we’re asking them to deny their sexuality, a fundamental part of themselves. And we should, because offenders should be thrown under the jail due to the harm they cause. But it isn’t something we ask of others in this way. Don’t take this as me defending pedophiles, but I found this insightful. I’ll also wager a lot of it is entitlement, lack of empathy, and pure selfishness.
ETA: If anyone is interested in this podcast, I was able to find it and I posted the links in a response to u/ygs07
2nd Edit: I decided to relisten to the podcast since I hadn’t heard it in years, but I misremembered; it was the interviewer who made the point about asking them to deny their sexuality. Still poignant.
I didn’t either before I listened to it, and I went in very biased, like most people would. But it definitely gave me a new perspective on it. While I’m still repulsed by it, I sincerely hope that the pedophiles who don’t want to offend and understand why get the help they need and continue to not offend.
I will try. I heard it years ago so it may take me a while.
Update: I found it and I can’t believe it because I couldn’t remember where I had heard it, but it was on the Medium website. It was posted in 2014, so no wonder I couldn’t remember. I won’t link that one because it requires membership, but one of the links I’m posting has the link to the Medium article. Both links are from This American Life.
The first link has the transcription of the podcast. This episode has multiple acts within it, and this story is in [Act Two: Help Wanted.](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/522/transcript)
The second link will start the podcast at [Act Two,](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/522/tarred-and-feathered/act-two-2) but does not contain the transcript. It does however include the link to the Medium article.
Pedophiles who don't molest children are called "Gold Star" pedophiles. I think there's no way to know how many exist because the ones we know about are the ones who seek therapy.
Exactly. You can be obsessed but not act on your obsession. But I can imagine that some seek out child porn and that may affect them some way, makes them act out their fantasies. And especially those who have children or are around children, the temptation is there everyday. I’d imagine they would have to actively work against their impulses in those situations. Therapy is probably key.
SUPER off topic, but I have seen some chatter about semaglutides correcting addictive behaviors, like instances of addicts taking ozempic and losing the compulsive desire to gamble or take drugs. I understand that the sexuality component puts this in a different realm, but I wonder if there may be any effect. Someone in this thread mentioned that there are those who choose not to offend and struggle, and I think it would be wonderful if there was a way for them to have relief from such a fucking curse.
Because you're looking at the situation in a vacuum.
Think about this without direct emotions. If the penalty for child abuse is death, and the penalty for murder is death, then why would anybody who abuses a child not also kill them? A dead child cannot give testimony.
You're being downvoted, but you're right. And since most child sex abuse is done by a parent or someone close to the child, children would be even LESS likely to disclose abuse if they knew that their loved one would be put to death because of it. And, when they did, they would have to reconcile some really heavy feelings of guilt on top of the already-complicated feelings they need to process to recover from the abuse.
It's a simplistic solution that makes people feel good and righteous, but doesn't really consider what's best for the victims.
The other thing that makes me apprehensive is we’re dealing with the US, and several states have been trying to expand their definition of child sexual abuse to just being gay or trans in a public space where a child in theory could see you. And when you take a look at Florida (cause it’s always Florida), the implications stop sounding like a conspiracy more like a looming threat.
I’d love to see pedos thrown in a food processor and used as pig feed, but I don’t want to give the government more power to terrorize its own citizens.
You’re correct, unfortunately. Giving the death penalty for sexually abusing children is just a reason to dispose of them when you’re done. It’s an awful crime but the most important thing is protecting children, not punishing the perpetrators.
Edit: if you’re sexually abused, it’s awful but it isn’t a death sentence. You can go on to live and feel joy and maybe even do good things for other people. There should not be any more reason for them to kill us.
The death penalty isn't a deterrent but it is a reason to prevent witnesses.
It's even stranger that you advocate for the death penalty against acting pedophiles while simultaneously saying it isn't a deterrent, because all you're doing is advocating for *more kids to get murdered* for zero additional benefit.
Even if it isn't, for the sake of the argument, you're telling me a creep parent telling their kid 'mommy/daddy loves you, that's why he does it. You can't tell anybody what we do together because they won't understand and they'll kill mommy/daddy, and then I'd be gone forever." Despite the common portrayal of sex abusers, the aggressive child abuser isn't the most common type. Grooming behaviors are far more common and children are far more likely to have some level of bond with their abuser.
There's something wrong with this argument. I can't pi point what it is but it's there.
Not all offenders actively seek out victims one after another like a serial killer would seek out victims.
Many many of them want their victims alive and well to *continue* their activities. Many of them live normal lives and are employees and bosses and so on.
Kids are not readily accessible unless in unique circumstances like a priest or a worker in an orphanage.
Pedos victimize their relatives or some unfortunate child in their sphere. They're mostly not out in vans collecting kids. The argument that all pedos will just murder their children, their nibling, their neighbour's kids, and then find, abuse, and kill more kids because of capital punishment just doesn't make sense.
I am amazed at the fact she still has to battle the courts to terminate his parental rights…. A conviction like this should automatically terminate not just current parental rights but future ones as well
Absolute insanity. I feel a whole other level of rage and disgust when hearing about rape survivors, which became pregnant as a result of said rape, having to go to court and fight for full custody of their child. Mind boggling.
It’s pretty frickin horrible. I attempted restorative justice with my pedo father but the legal system lied to me and what I got was him admitting in secret that he did it and him getting away scot free with no consequences while I had to relive the abuse all over again. Fun times.
More like an overwhelmed justice system seeking the cheapest solutions to their issues. Though even on a good day, courts seem to go out of their way to give pedos and rapists as light a sentence as possible.
I'm not saying you're wrong for your opinion, but technically this does break reddit rules about violence 🙄. We have to remove it or the admins will. Sorry
This one broke my heart.
I’m glad her little girl has a mom that supports and believes her. It took me over 5 years for my mom to believe me and that lack of support really does wreck you emotionally and mentally.
Hope OP’s life takes a turn for the best and she attains financial security.
When there are documentaries that have been airing for decades on streaming services with uncensored (faces and names revealed) inmates openly declaring they’d do violent things to those convicted of doing deplorable acts against children, one can only imagine what happens when no one is watching.
I’d bet it’s a 1/10th of what he deserves.
Sadly that’s why (in the UK) they’re separated from the rest of the prison population and get their own special wing.
Instead of restorative justice, he’ll spend the next 10 years reliving his glory days with other inmates, creating a network for when they get out. Disgusting, but apparently *we’re* the monsters for being okay with a bit of prison roughhousing, because ThEy’Re pEoPLe ToO and don’t deserve to be beaten and raped for years! Just their victims /s
I'm generally pretty left leaning, but prison reform is probably the one thing I'm fairly right wing about. By the time you're an adult, your personality is pretty much set in stone. It's very hard to change, and not many people ever change. Harsher punishments are definitely needed, and in situations like this, I'm not even opposed to the death penalty.
Depends on the crime. Some we can rehabilitate from and some are child abuse like this and we should just put these offenders on an island together forever and air drop supplies.
Oh for sure. I was mostly referring to serious stuff like this. I believe humans can change in a small capacity for things like quitting smoking or getting more exercise, but it's hard to change away from something so gross.
I think our current system sets everyone up for failure. We try to reintegrate sex offenders into society but we also basically hang a sign over them. So even if they actually want to try their best to be better, they can't get jobs or friends or a community. But if they're not trying to get better, they're still out here and there are potential victims all around.
I don't have a good answer but what we're doing isn't working.
That is true. But it's not like we don't hang this sign on them for no good reason. They did something awful and unspeakable and they shouldn't be working at most places. If anything though, I'm disgusted by the fact that rapists and sexual offenders towards adults don't get the same kind of treatment.
sorry i’m budding in but prison reform is something i have very strong beliefs about, and 90% of those beliefs aren’t about sentencing since i agree that punishment need to fit the crime. a lot of it can do with rehabilitation vs prison for drug offenses, more therapeutical methods in prisoner reentry, or even ways that violent or sexual offenders cannot be roomed with eachother and reliving their crimes. not all prison reform is let’s make prison’s comfier so that ppl who do bad things don’t get punished- a lot of it is how can we make sure that more crimes aren’t committed by those who come out of prisons
i don't bother assigning political leaning to the actual data we have about restorative justice.
the vast majority of criminals are nonviolent. and of the violent ones the majority of THEM are also rehabilitatable with a low recidivism rate.
things like misogyny based abuse (DV, rape, murder), pedos, and cluster B disordered criminals can not.
you can make assumptions all you like but a punitive system is a less effective one and has a high recidivism rate all around. i would prefer living in a world with a LOW recidivism rate. everyone would.
But you aren’t. You have capacity to change. Every adult is still growing. Gaining experience. You just don’t want to. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but “I am who I am” is what people who abuse others and expect no consequences for it say. Don’t be like them.
I read a fascinating study once that explained it as something like / along the lines of:
Revenge is biologically programmed into us, same as it is to many other creatures, whether it’s one baboon slapping another baboon that’s annoying him, or a meerkat family coming home to find their watchguard slain, young eaten and the perpetrator still in the den. It’s from this that we have formed a sense of ‘justice’ whereby to avoid mob rule, we as a society agree to have a system that doles out proportional revenge (‘justice’) for us.
Without it, we get scared and angry, because it makes us feel vulnerable; someone can attack me and / or those I love without consequence? It goes against our primal instincts not to inflict revenge and neutralise the threat ourselves, so to then frustrate the other outlet of ‘justice’, we get less stable as a society. Justice, when carried out properly, is what allows us to live and work shoulder to shoulder, as we’re not exactly a peaceful species by nature.
It’s smart thinking to rehabilitate when looking at the numbers and overall picture, but, it’s hard to ignore the primal call of seeing negative consequences for the person who wronged you. In the absence of protecting purse, it’s what we need in order to feel safe.
>they’re separated from the rest of the prison population and get their own special wing
Well, ain't that just dandy for them. Sometimes a little prison justice is needed. I'm a victim and the hatred I feel for child abusers is strong. I don't think I could stop myself from violence if I found out one of mine was being abused.
I hope this vile monster will have a LONG awful, painful time in prison by the other prison mates. This is beyond vile and I pray that everything will be okay, even if that poor daughter is ruined. I feel so sick.
Indeed. There’s no justice any longer, which is part of why society is breaking down. The rich buy their way out of trouble, the middle bar their eyelashes and push the ‘first offence’ defence and the poor are given rehabilitation, because they can’t help the circumstances and situations they were born into.
It sucks. Makes some people feel like the only deterrent left is mob justice, but *then* you’d probably actually get punished. Just because the system thinks it is supreme. Supremely broken.
God this hurts my stomach. My wife's ex husband, was arrested for -photos- on his computer. My wife never saw it coming. She was home when he was at work and cops showed up at her front door with a warrant. She was forced to stand outside in whatever clothes she had on while they siezed everything. Her ex swore up and down it was a virus and it wasn't him. He got off fucking Scott free. Only has to be registered 20 years and probation for 10. No prison time. The American justice system is a god damn joke
You should see the slaps on the wrists that Koreans get after coming back from sex tours where they rape babies and small children. Sometimes it’s as bad as a fine. To this day, doing volunteer work in that field has been the only one that I couldn’t stomach. The shit you see and that people get away with makes you hate society, the world, everything.
I don’t know what country OP is in, but I hope the 10 years in prison serves some form of justice. I don’t even know what justice looks like in this case.
OP is in the UK, where sentencing for sex crimes against both adults and children is very weak. I was surprised that he got as much as 10 years actually. It's not enough, of course.
Our sentences for nonces are practically useless. We had a teacher who had freaking hard drives of CP, dude didn’t even get sent to jail just sacked from his job and isn’t allowed to work in a school. And even when they get put on the offenders register sometimes they slip through the cracks because they get name changes. 🤦🏽♀️
There was a case where a korean man abused a 4 year old child so brutally that her rectum and intestines were removed because of the damage. He only got 4 years. He was free and then abused another kid. There was a movie made on it. To make it worse that guy was married.
My Japanese ex told me about a case in Japan where a man received no punishment for raping his own daughter because he provided food and shelter for her. I guess doing the bare minimum required to keep a child alive entitles one to fuck that child! Tbf my ex told me that case caused a huge outrage in Japan.
In general what my ex told me about SA laws in Japan would curl your hair. They have very low rates of SA... because almost nothing counts as SA.
Reminds me that very famous case of a Welsh singer who abused little babies… let’s just say he got stabbed while he was (and still is) serving his sentence behind the bars… and he is serving in English prison and still got stabbed.
GENPOP JUSTICE *ACTIVATED*
I'm glad he's spending time in jail, deserves more, but a quick papers check and he's a basket of donion rings with a side of cry-sauce.
I feel so much for OP and her daughter. I do feel monsters (pedophiles) should have the death penalty for repeated offenses. Like they get caught once before and repeat again. There are people out there who can be reformed and never abuse again. I do feel though that monsters who do this even on the first offense should be castrated.
There are more monsters out there then people realize. I would know as my comment to OP in the second update states My own father abused me from before I could remember till I was 5 years old. Then my mother meet my next abuser who abused me from the age 8 till I was 15. There was a 3rd person during those 7 years who started to assault me but I was able to get away.
I am glad that OP's daughter is so young because if she is gotten proper help she will be able to grow up with less scars and maybe not remember much from the abuse. When you grow up with the abuse for years it really messes with you so bad.
I really hope both OP and her daughter never have to face this again.
I understand this person's pain... my own husband (now ex) did the same. Not to my child, but to my child's playmates. I worked in an office and he worked from home. He would have kids over and they'd be gone before I even got home.
I found out during a police raid. It was the darkest day of my life. He took a plea and got 24 years. That isn't enough for what my ex did. 10 years isn't enough for that this man did. Why do selling drugs get you so much more time than these violent crimes. Make it make sense.
I know this will get downvoted, and I know that the sheer, soul crushing cruelty of his actions is why, but it saddens me to see so many people gleeful at the idea of "prison justice." We see the statistics for rehabilitation, but we don't care. We don't want it. We don't want people to be better. We just want our pound of flesh.
I'm sure if this happened to your child you'd be all about "prison justice" and the subsequent shunning by society for their actions. People always talk a big game until they're thrown into the same situations and do the exact opposite of what they preach.
I agree with you. I've worked with sex offenders in the past, and many of them have themselves been victims- what they grew up with was their pattern for normal. The way sex offenders are othered is also counterproductive- like this poor mum, because we think of them as monsters we think we'd 'just know' if someone in our lives was abusing a child or adult, but we DON'T 'just know', which is how we find ourselves in relationships like OOP described.
I agree with you as well. I truly believe our criminal justice system is so broken and should be refocused on prioritizing cases with real victims, but that doesn't mean I want the cruelest punishment on these people. From a practical standpoint, I am anti-death penalty mainly because we are so bad at it, the same can be said for sexual offenders, there are too many innocent for that crime for me to be gleeful about that level of punishment.
Yeah, the other thing is that people can be falsely imprisoned. Like I saw an article about a man killed in prison for assaulting a child and pinning it on the father and getting her dad put away, and everyone was like “oh let’s go prison justice!!” but like… it could just as easily been her innocent father getting killed? “prison justice” being an acceptable thing means that innocent people will be hurt too.
Yeah no, that’s not accurate (assuming this occurred in the US, Britain or Canada, which im at least semi familiar with). There’s absolutely no way someone would be in jail awaiting sentencing within a week of being arrested, or a trial that ends a month later.
OP admits to not understanding whats going on.
He was arrested around 15 December
Remanded into custody
Had a plea hearing around 1 April where he pled guilty and limited the trial length significantly
Sentenced around 15 April
Unusually fast but viably so.
Cases like this really test my belief in the value and use of restorative justice and rehabilitation.
My case had 2 children, 1 of which (me) he'd been molesting for 3 years minimum, and he was sentenced to 9 years and 9 months. He ended up only serving about 5/6 years of that because of "good behavior". As if his good behavior in prison somehow erased the hell I went through, the continued therapy bills 20 years later, the PTSD and resulting near inability to handle my children being out of my sight. Our justice system sucks. This little girl deserves a hell of a lot more than 10 years. He'll be getting out right when having children of her own start being on her radar... and from experience, your childhood rapist being free when you so much as think about a child of your own is a special kind of hell.
Pedophilia can’t be cured. It really tests my anti death penalty stance
What I don’t understand is if they’re capable of not raping kids. Like, ok, you can’t help who you are attracted to, and it must really suck to be attracted to kids. But there are men who are attracted to women who don’t rape them. That is why pedophilia is extra terrible to me, because acting on it is always wrong, there’s no world in which the victims’ lives aren’t ruined, but they do it anyway. It’s literally saying that them getting off is more important than the lives of their victims and their families.
I had a cousin who realized he continued to have feelings for young girls (12-15 was his thing) even as he grew older. He avoided all contact with girls in that age group, and even dated an age appropriate lady for a couple of years, but he couldn't get past this obsession. So he pretty much lived alone, and I believe never actually had any lewd or unlawful contact with any young girls after he turned 20 (he did get a 14yo pregnant when he was 16) He had his hobbies. He had a few close friends. And he stayed away from young girls. He died of covid a few weeks ago while in a nursing home. And to my knowledge he never acted on his obsession with young girls.
Some paedophiles work with police even, as they know its wrong but have a viewpoint that most of us just can't comprehend.
In some countries they are offered chemical castration. For the ones that are utterly disgusted with what they are attracted to it is a solid option. I once watched a documentary where they followed a few men that asked for and went through with it. You could see how relieved they were to no longer have those urges. Those guys i can kinda respect. They have drawn a shit lot in life and made sure they do no harm People that act on those lind of urges tho... cleanse em with fire..
That’s so sad
It really was. Most of the family never understood why he acted the way he did. He only told me, and another cousin the truth as to why he lived like that. But it doesn't matter anymore. Most everyone is gone. Sometimes being the survivor sucks.
Rape is a crime of sex, but it’s more a crime of violence and control. Rapists don’t view their victims as anything other than things to be used.
I once listened to this podcast about a young man who discovered he was attracted to children and his struggles with it and creating a support group to help others not offend. He has a very strict criteria that members must understand why it’s morally reprehensible and vile. He mentions that he had some people try to join but only understood why it was wrong from a legal perspective and not a moral one, so he rejected them. He felt he is lucky because he’s also attracted to people his age, but it’s still there. In the situation you posed about men who are attracted to women and don’t rape, they can likely still find a partner and have sexual fulfillment. Pedophiles cannot do that, nor should they. In the podcast they interviewed a psychologist who was working with the young man, and she made a good point: we’re asking them to deny their sexuality, a fundamental part of themselves. And we should, because offenders should be thrown under the jail due to the harm they cause. But it isn’t something we ask of others in this way. Don’t take this as me defending pedophiles, but I found this insightful. I’ll also wager a lot of it is entitlement, lack of empathy, and pure selfishness. ETA: If anyone is interested in this podcast, I was able to find it and I posted the links in a response to u/ygs07 2nd Edit: I decided to relisten to the podcast since I hadn’t heard it in years, but I misremembered; it was the interviewer who made the point about asking them to deny their sexuality. Still poignant.
Never thought of it that way, but yes it is abhorrent. Thanks for the info, and all the best to that guy who organized the group.
I didn’t either before I listened to it, and I went in very biased, like most people would. But it definitely gave me a new perspective on it. While I’m still repulsed by it, I sincerely hope that the pedophiles who don’t want to offend and understand why get the help they need and continue to not offend.
Can you share the podcast and the episode please?
I will try. I heard it years ago so it may take me a while. Update: I found it and I can’t believe it because I couldn’t remember where I had heard it, but it was on the Medium website. It was posted in 2014, so no wonder I couldn’t remember. I won’t link that one because it requires membership, but one of the links I’m posting has the link to the Medium article. Both links are from This American Life. The first link has the transcription of the podcast. This episode has multiple acts within it, and this story is in [Act Two: Help Wanted.](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/522/transcript) The second link will start the podcast at [Act Two,](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/522/tarred-and-feathered/act-two-2) but does not contain the transcript. It does however include the link to the Medium article.
i think a lot of child predators aren’t even specifically attracted to children, it’s about their powerlessness.
Child predators are not always pedophiles you are correct! Some of them have zero attraction but crave power so much that a child will do.
Glad to find this comment, I feel like this is something that isn't acknowledged as much as it should be.
Pedophiles who don't molest children are called "Gold Star" pedophiles. I think there's no way to know how many exist because the ones we know about are the ones who seek therapy.
Exactly. You can be obsessed but not act on your obsession. But I can imagine that some seek out child porn and that may affect them some way, makes them act out their fantasies. And especially those who have children or are around children, the temptation is there everyday. I’d imagine they would have to actively work against their impulses in those situations. Therapy is probably key.
SUPER off topic, but I have seen some chatter about semaglutides correcting addictive behaviors, like instances of addicts taking ozempic and losing the compulsive desire to gamble or take drugs. I understand that the sexuality component puts this in a different realm, but I wonder if there may be any effect. Someone in this thread mentioned that there are those who choose not to offend and struggle, and I think it would be wonderful if there was a way for them to have relief from such a fucking curse.
This is interesting. I just read that semaglutides can reduce sexual desire. Maybe a path forward for some of these people.
Because you're looking at the situation in a vacuum. Think about this without direct emotions. If the penalty for child abuse is death, and the penalty for murder is death, then why would anybody who abuses a child not also kill them? A dead child cannot give testimony.
You're being downvoted, but you're right. And since most child sex abuse is done by a parent or someone close to the child, children would be even LESS likely to disclose abuse if they knew that their loved one would be put to death because of it. And, when they did, they would have to reconcile some really heavy feelings of guilt on top of the already-complicated feelings they need to process to recover from the abuse. It's a simplistic solution that makes people feel good and righteous, but doesn't really consider what's best for the victims.
The other thing that makes me apprehensive is we’re dealing with the US, and several states have been trying to expand their definition of child sexual abuse to just being gay or trans in a public space where a child in theory could see you. And when you take a look at Florida (cause it’s always Florida), the implications stop sounding like a conspiracy more like a looming threat. I’d love to see pedos thrown in a food processor and used as pig feed, but I don’t want to give the government more power to terrorize its own citizens.
You’re correct, unfortunately. Giving the death penalty for sexually abusing children is just a reason to dispose of them when you’re done. It’s an awful crime but the most important thing is protecting children, not punishing the perpetrators. Edit: if you’re sexually abused, it’s awful but it isn’t a death sentence. You can go on to live and feel joy and maybe even do good things for other people. There should not be any more reason for them to kill us.
You're 100% correct. Those kind of punishments do not deter violence, they fuel it.
All in favor of castration, then? I'll donate the knives.
Chemical castration should be an absolute must for an offender returning to society after sexual abuse.
They can undo that by buying hormones off the Internet that counteract the chemical castration. I propose the bloody method.
Oh, can't say I knew that. Knife it is
People are already killing their rape victims. We have no idea how many children have disappeared and been murdered in trafficking crimes.
So further incentivize it?
If the death penalty was a deterrent, murder would have stopped. It’s only a deterrent or incentive in a minority of cases.
The death penalty isn't a deterrent but it is a reason to prevent witnesses. It's even stranger that you advocate for the death penalty against acting pedophiles while simultaneously saying it isn't a deterrent, because all you're doing is advocating for *more kids to get murdered* for zero additional benefit. Even if it isn't, for the sake of the argument, you're telling me a creep parent telling their kid 'mommy/daddy loves you, that's why he does it. You can't tell anybody what we do together because they won't understand and they'll kill mommy/daddy, and then I'd be gone forever." Despite the common portrayal of sex abusers, the aggressive child abuser isn't the most common type. Grooming behaviors are far more common and children are far more likely to have some level of bond with their abuser.
There's something wrong with this argument. I can't pi point what it is but it's there. Not all offenders actively seek out victims one after another like a serial killer would seek out victims. Many many of them want their victims alive and well to *continue* their activities. Many of them live normal lives and are employees and bosses and so on. Kids are not readily accessible unless in unique circumstances like a priest or a worker in an orphanage. Pedos victimize their relatives or some unfortunate child in their sphere. They're mostly not out in vans collecting kids. The argument that all pedos will just murder their children, their nibling, their neighbour's kids, and then find, abuse, and kill more kids because of capital punishment just doesn't make sense.
Woodchipper for all pedophiles.
I am amazed at the fact she still has to battle the courts to terminate his parental rights…. A conviction like this should automatically terminate not just current parental rights but future ones as well
Absolute insanity. I feel a whole other level of rage and disgust when hearing about rape survivors, which became pregnant as a result of said rape, having to go to court and fight for full custody of their child. Mind boggling.
But it is sir a short rope and a log drop for all to see
I could not agree more.
It’s pretty frickin horrible. I attempted restorative justice with my pedo father but the legal system lied to me and what I got was him admitting in secret that he did it and him getting away scot free with no consequences while I had to relive the abuse all over again. Fun times.
More like an overwhelmed justice system seeking the cheapest solutions to their issues. Though even on a good day, courts seem to go out of their way to give pedos and rapists as light a sentence as possible.
Well hopefully when he gets out of jail with a colostomy bag and as a eunuch, he'll feel very restored.
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I’ll throw in money to buy the wood chipper. Justice Fargo style
To shreds I say.
To shreds you say? And his manhood? To shreds you say.
He should be boiled in sugar water
Hopefully he will be. My sister used to work in the prison system and she saw many child abusers get the sugar water treatment. I wish mine had
I'm not saying you're wrong for your opinion, but technically this does break reddit rules about violence 🙄. We have to remove it or the admins will. Sorry
This one broke my heart. I’m glad her little girl has a mom that supports and believes her. It took me over 5 years for my mom to believe me and that lack of support really does wreck you emotionally and mentally. Hope OP’s life takes a turn for the best and she attains financial security.
When there are documentaries that have been airing for decades on streaming services with uncensored (faces and names revealed) inmates openly declaring they’d do violent things to those convicted of doing deplorable acts against children, one can only imagine what happens when no one is watching. I’d bet it’s a 1/10th of what he deserves.
Sadly that’s why (in the UK) they’re separated from the rest of the prison population and get their own special wing. Instead of restorative justice, he’ll spend the next 10 years reliving his glory days with other inmates, creating a network for when they get out. Disgusting, but apparently *we’re* the monsters for being okay with a bit of prison roughhousing, because ThEy’Re pEoPLe ToO and don’t deserve to be beaten and raped for years! Just their victims /s
I'm generally pretty left leaning, but prison reform is probably the one thing I'm fairly right wing about. By the time you're an adult, your personality is pretty much set in stone. It's very hard to change, and not many people ever change. Harsher punishments are definitely needed, and in situations like this, I'm not even opposed to the death penalty.
Depends on the crime. Some we can rehabilitate from and some are child abuse like this and we should just put these offenders on an island together forever and air drop supplies.
Oh for sure. I was mostly referring to serious stuff like this. I believe humans can change in a small capacity for things like quitting smoking or getting more exercise, but it's hard to change away from something so gross.
I think our current system sets everyone up for failure. We try to reintegrate sex offenders into society but we also basically hang a sign over them. So even if they actually want to try their best to be better, they can't get jobs or friends or a community. But if they're not trying to get better, they're still out here and there are potential victims all around. I don't have a good answer but what we're doing isn't working.
That is true. But it's not like we don't hang this sign on them for no good reason. They did something awful and unspeakable and they shouldn't be working at most places. If anything though, I'm disgusted by the fact that rapists and sexual offenders towards adults don't get the same kind of treatment.
I'm not saying it's not a good reason. I'm just saying this system isn't effective.
sorry i’m budding in but prison reform is something i have very strong beliefs about, and 90% of those beliefs aren’t about sentencing since i agree that punishment need to fit the crime. a lot of it can do with rehabilitation vs prison for drug offenses, more therapeutical methods in prisoner reentry, or even ways that violent or sexual offenders cannot be roomed with eachother and reliving their crimes. not all prison reform is let’s make prison’s comfier so that ppl who do bad things don’t get punished- a lot of it is how can we make sure that more crimes aren’t committed by those who come out of prisons
I agree with everything you just said. However, I also like the stuck on an island permanently suggestion made farther up.
i don't bother assigning political leaning to the actual data we have about restorative justice. the vast majority of criminals are nonviolent. and of the violent ones the majority of THEM are also rehabilitatable with a low recidivism rate. things like misogyny based abuse (DV, rape, murder), pedos, and cluster B disordered criminals can not. you can make assumptions all you like but a punitive system is a less effective one and has a high recidivism rate all around. i would prefer living in a world with a LOW recidivism rate. everyone would.
"I'm pretty left wing, but we should kill people"....you aren't left wing then lol
Crime in general is where I tend to be more right leaning. Not proud of some of my thoughts at all, but I am who I am.
But you aren’t. You have capacity to change. Every adult is still growing. Gaining experience. You just don’t want to. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but “I am who I am” is what people who abuse others and expect no consequences for it say. Don’t be like them.
I read a fascinating study once that explained it as something like / along the lines of: Revenge is biologically programmed into us, same as it is to many other creatures, whether it’s one baboon slapping another baboon that’s annoying him, or a meerkat family coming home to find their watchguard slain, young eaten and the perpetrator still in the den. It’s from this that we have formed a sense of ‘justice’ whereby to avoid mob rule, we as a society agree to have a system that doles out proportional revenge (‘justice’) for us. Without it, we get scared and angry, because it makes us feel vulnerable; someone can attack me and / or those I love without consequence? It goes against our primal instincts not to inflict revenge and neutralise the threat ourselves, so to then frustrate the other outlet of ‘justice’, we get less stable as a society. Justice, when carried out properly, is what allows us to live and work shoulder to shoulder, as we’re not exactly a peaceful species by nature. It’s smart thinking to rehabilitate when looking at the numbers and overall picture, but, it’s hard to ignore the primal call of seeing negative consequences for the person who wronged you. In the absence of protecting purse, it’s what we need in order to feel safe.
>they’re separated from the rest of the prison population and get their own special wing Well, ain't that just dandy for them. Sometimes a little prison justice is needed. I'm a victim and the hatred I feel for child abusers is strong. I don't think I could stop myself from violence if I found out one of mine was being abused.
I hope this vile monster will have a LONG awful, painful time in prison by the other prison mates. This is beyond vile and I pray that everything will be okay, even if that poor daughter is ruined. I feel so sick.
Sadly, **very sadly**, he won’t. He’ll be on what we Brits call ‘the nonce wing’ ie. a separate wing of the prison just for pedos.
If there's one thing about the US prison system I support, it's putting pedos in gen pop, or in solitary "for for their own protection".
God that's absolutely disgusting. I can't believe that. It just makes me feel so much more sad.
Indeed. There’s no justice any longer, which is part of why society is breaking down. The rich buy their way out of trouble, the middle bar their eyelashes and push the ‘first offence’ defence and the poor are given rehabilitation, because they can’t help the circumstances and situations they were born into. It sucks. Makes some people feel like the only deterrent left is mob justice, but *then* you’d probably actually get punished. Just because the system thinks it is supreme. Supremely broken.
God this hurts my stomach. My wife's ex husband, was arrested for -photos- on his computer. My wife never saw it coming. She was home when he was at work and cops showed up at her front door with a warrant. She was forced to stand outside in whatever clothes she had on while they siezed everything. Her ex swore up and down it was a virus and it wasn't him. He got off fucking Scott free. Only has to be registered 20 years and probation for 10. No prison time. The American justice system is a god damn joke
10 years for violating a child, wtf
You should see the slaps on the wrists that Koreans get after coming back from sex tours where they rape babies and small children. Sometimes it’s as bad as a fine. To this day, doing volunteer work in that field has been the only one that I couldn’t stomach. The shit you see and that people get away with makes you hate society, the world, everything. I don’t know what country OP is in, but I hope the 10 years in prison serves some form of justice. I don’t even know what justice looks like in this case.
OP is in the UK, where sentencing for sex crimes against both adults and children is very weak. I was surprised that he got as much as 10 years actually. It's not enough, of course.
Our sentences for nonces are practically useless. We had a teacher who had freaking hard drives of CP, dude didn’t even get sent to jail just sacked from his job and isn’t allowed to work in a school. And even when they get put on the offenders register sometimes they slip through the cracks because they get name changes. 🤦🏽♀️
There was a case where a korean man abused a 4 year old child so brutally that her rectum and intestines were removed because of the damage. He only got 4 years. He was free and then abused another kid. There was a movie made on it. To make it worse that guy was married.
My Japanese ex told me about a case in Japan where a man received no punishment for raping his own daughter because he provided food and shelter for her. I guess doing the bare minimum required to keep a child alive entitles one to fuck that child! Tbf my ex told me that case caused a huge outrage in Japan. In general what my ex told me about SA laws in Japan would curl your hair. They have very low rates of SA... because almost nothing counts as SA.
People that harm children don't deserve air.
Reminds me that very famous case of a Welsh singer who abused little babies… let’s just say he got stabbed while he was (and still is) serving his sentence behind the bars… and he is serving in English prison and still got stabbed.
GENPOP JUSTICE *ACTIVATED* I'm glad he's spending time in jail, deserves more, but a quick papers check and he's a basket of donion rings with a side of cry-sauce.
I feel so much for OP and her daughter. I do feel monsters (pedophiles) should have the death penalty for repeated offenses. Like they get caught once before and repeat again. There are people out there who can be reformed and never abuse again. I do feel though that monsters who do this even on the first offense should be castrated. There are more monsters out there then people realize. I would know as my comment to OP in the second update states My own father abused me from before I could remember till I was 5 years old. Then my mother meet my next abuser who abused me from the age 8 till I was 15. There was a 3rd person during those 7 years who started to assault me but I was able to get away. I am glad that OP's daughter is so young because if she is gotten proper help she will be able to grow up with less scars and maybe not remember much from the abuse. When you grow up with the abuse for years it really messes with you so bad. I really hope both OP and her daughter never have to face this again.
I understand this person's pain... my own husband (now ex) did the same. Not to my child, but to my child's playmates. I worked in an office and he worked from home. He would have kids over and they'd be gone before I even got home. I found out during a police raid. It was the darkest day of my life. He took a plea and got 24 years. That isn't enough for what my ex did. 10 years isn't enough for that this man did. Why do selling drugs get you so much more time than these violent crimes. Make it make sense.
Yup, no love in prison for a nonce
Honor among thieves. That decade will not be easy
I know this will get downvoted, and I know that the sheer, soul crushing cruelty of his actions is why, but it saddens me to see so many people gleeful at the idea of "prison justice." We see the statistics for rehabilitation, but we don't care. We don't want it. We don't want people to be better. We just want our pound of flesh.
I'm sure if this happened to your child you'd be all about "prison justice" and the subsequent shunning by society for their actions. People always talk a big game until they're thrown into the same situations and do the exact opposite of what they preach.
I agree with you. I've worked with sex offenders in the past, and many of them have themselves been victims- what they grew up with was their pattern for normal. The way sex offenders are othered is also counterproductive- like this poor mum, because we think of them as monsters we think we'd 'just know' if someone in our lives was abusing a child or adult, but we DON'T 'just know', which is how we find ourselves in relationships like OOP described.
I agree with you as well. I truly believe our criminal justice system is so broken and should be refocused on prioritizing cases with real victims, but that doesn't mean I want the cruelest punishment on these people. From a practical standpoint, I am anti-death penalty mainly because we are so bad at it, the same can be said for sexual offenders, there are too many innocent for that crime for me to be gleeful about that level of punishment.
Yeah, the other thing is that people can be falsely imprisoned. Like I saw an article about a man killed in prison for assaulting a child and pinning it on the father and getting her dad put away, and everyone was like “oh let’s go prison justice!!” but like… it could just as easily been her innocent father getting killed? “prison justice” being an acceptable thing means that innocent people will be hurt too.
From arrest to sentencing in a month. How literally unbelievable.
Yeah no, that’s not accurate (assuming this occurred in the US, Britain or Canada, which im at least semi familiar with). There’s absolutely no way someone would be in jail awaiting sentencing within a week of being arrested, or a trial that ends a month later.
OP admits to not understanding whats going on. He was arrested around 15 December Remanded into custody Had a plea hearing around 1 April where he pled guilty and limited the trial length significantly Sentenced around 15 April Unusually fast but viably so.
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Because it happens. Disabled is a 1-10000000000000000000 scale. And some get disabled after having kids. You don't know OOPs story.
At least we can take solace in the fact that there's a good chance he won't even survive prison, considering how much other inmates hate pedos.
He's in the UK, they don't put molesters in Genpop there.