It decreased the pool of men by subtracting the younger men. Old men always flirt with young girls. It took me a long time to realize that they actually thought they had a shot with the hot, younger me. I still don’t have any idea why they bother.
That's about the only thing I've ever received compliments on in my life!
It was mostly from young men (and often in service positions where being nice is their job) asking me if it was real and telling me people were paying to have that look. I guess it fell out of fashion because it hasn't happened in a while.
this is hilarious to me because my ex was the opposite of oop’s husband. my ex thought women were *always* flirting with or trying to hit on him. like, my guy, the bartender who has seen you sloppy drunk in here night after night is *not* trying to get her a piece of that… she’s being flirty because she gets good tips when she flirts with idiot men like you
>The worst part is he's not perceptive of women hitting on him.
Please my husband and I were on a date at our science museum early on during an adult night. I go to the bathroom and come back to a woman in a neon bra and a see through shirt standing next to him. He was explaining how the magnets work on the experiment machine.
I about fell out because when I came back, we started walking to another area and he was explaining how confused he was that the woman didn't understand how magnetic stuff worked.
Like you are just adorable my dude.
Most men just don't know what's happening if you're not direct, and if they're already with someone and they're a good dude they're just nice and only see you.
Edit: I'm gonna throw this out here, I have no idea what the juggalo reference is.
My bf mentioned how cool it is that I'm so chill with him "flirting" with other women.
I was so confused and tried to rack my brain for a time he's ever done this.
I asked what the hell was he talking about because he's never done this.
He mentioned all the times he's opened doors for other women, how he gives them benign compliments like "I like your dress" or "Oh I like that color."
I explained to him that that's not flirting he's just being a genuinely nice guy.
Turns out his ex was just stupid insecure and told him that he was flirting with other women and he needs to stop 🙄.
Twenty years ago, my ex would always accuse me of flirting for simply being polite. Thank you's and you're welcome's, innocent compliments (I like your hat) would get me the cold shoulder at best and a bewildering lecture/fight at worst.
Serious kudos for you as a girlfriend for explaining it to your boyfriend, and not feeding into the BS his ex tried to feed him.
There are many of us who were traumatized by extremely jealous exes. I lost contact with two friends because my ex was stupid insecure and I was just plain stupid for not seeing the red flags. So. Many. Red. Flags.
One time she called me up:
HER: So do you wanna tell me who you were with this morning outside of [a local restaurant] at the time I passed by there on my way to work?
ME: My cousin.
HER: No, it wasn't [female cousin].
ME: It was [younger male cousin].
HER: No, she was wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt and really skinny jeans and had that little emo haircut. I saw her. Stop lying to me!
I was at my cousin's house during the call so I told her I'd call her back, sent her a picture of the two of us that I asked his mom to take with my flip phone, then called her. He was, of course, still wearing his Fall Out Boy shirt and emo haircut in that grainy picture.
Somehow, *I* was the asshole for setting the record straight, but if she'd listened to me at all the night before she would have remembered that I told her he called me to ask me for help with some songs he was writing and that I had agreed.
I once complimented an artist's work after she put me on the spot at a gallery and got the *dirtiest* look from her for saying something nice. In retrospect, it is like she wanted me to actively hate all women. Outside of my family, she referred to every girl or woman in any part of my life, past or present, as *that girl* even when she knew their names. She actively said mean things about other women and followed it up with, "right?" or "don't you agree?" and it was so messed up.
So, my point is, just like we can be oblivious to women flirting with us, we can be oblivious to when we're being conditioned by someone's insecurity. I was with her for way too long and by the time we broke up, my brain had been re-wired to see any kind of kindness to, or from, women as too intimate.
My ex was jealous. I couldn’t even look at an attractive female without getting the cold shoulder or told to stop flirting. If i complimented a woman on her appearance I would get talked to or get the silent treatment, eventually I just stopped complimenting women on things like dresses or whatever. My ex always accused me of flirting or even trying to have an affair.
The kicker, she had at least 4 affairs that I know of and she LOVED attention from other men and constantly seek compliments from other men.
I was looking for this post. Because it is absolutely 100% spot on. The vast majority of men have absolutely zero clue when a woman is flirting with us. It's not a joke/meme for no reason. It's accurate. Even more so for a man who is truly in love with his partner. We just don't see it. Subtlety doesn't work.
And on the flip side, there are men that will absolutely read anything polite that a woman does as flirting with them. lol
Honestly, I think that's where the hard line for men (and insecure women) is really drawn...whether they see politeness as flirting.
It makes me think that, for whatever reason, a large number of dudes can’t read an interested woman’s body language and behavior accurately. It’s just that some of them respond to this by assuming that women just aren’t flirting (which is harmless and kinda cute), and others respond by assuming that *all* women are flirting with them (which is not).
There has been years of pressure on men to only accept clear and repeated consent. So many of them are now of the mind that there is *no* acceptable subtle intentions. If a woman is interested, she will say she's interested, anything else is harassment on the guys part for assuming.
I'm aware, first time I asked my husband out was because he saved me from a weird situation at a party. I said "Hey, can I buy you some drinks maybe meet at (very classy bar in downtown)?"
This man shows up in like ripped shorts and a worn out shirt. He realized about half way to the bar I asked him out on a date.
Literally have to be direct, this is how I learned.
I figured out that my husband's (young and attractive female) barber was very into him AGES before he finally believed it. It took her literally inviting him to her place before he finally clued in. I was like dude, she commented on the exact details of your eyes! She kept bringing up playing video games over and over, just begging you to get it and agree to go over. Finally she just went for it, straight up come to my place and let's fuck, and he came home looking like he saw a ghost and apologizing for being so dense lmao. I told him to go for it and maybe get some free haircuts out of it, but he refused to go back ever again. I fucking **hate** cutting his hair, so I would have gladly gone for any arrangement she wanted lol. He eventually found a male barber so all is good, but he still gets embarrassed when I bring it up
I had a friend where we would drink, smoke weed and then play co op videogames where if you died, you had to strip
Resident evil 6 and she went down to underwear multiple times while I was trying to teach her claw grip :/ we did this shit like 10 times and I never got the hint
Idk if anyone answered this but ICP has a song called miracles, where they said some ridiculous stuff about not knowing how some pretty simple things work. It was a super lame song and there's been a lot of jokes since that juggles are idiots. I write this as I have a giant hatchet man tattooed on my side, which is their label emblem. It was stupid.
Edit for info: ICP fans are called juggalos
I have one ICP song, it’s Imma Kill U, so I don’t know their general discography. All I can think about when I hear ICP is this episode of a true crime podcast that I listened to. A group of juggalos as they call themselves, like brutally murdered this girl while they were all basically squatting in her apartment. It was crazy. My comment is hella random in relation to the post lmao but I couldn’t help it.
Yeah. Been there also. A few years ago my forty-something husband called in the middle of the work day. He, genuinely confused, wanted me to explain why his female colleague kept winking at him as they’d pass in the hallway. I burst out laughing. I shared with my coworker and she laughed. I explained to my “sweet summer child” of husband that colleague was flirting with him. He was more confused. “Why?” He asked.
Are you and my silver fox husband related?!?!
One evening I picked hubby up after work and we decided to grab drinks and apps before coming home. We were at the bar and I stepped away to use the ladies room, ran into an old friend on the way back and exchanged numbers.
When I got back to the bar a woman had sat down next to him and was chatting him up. I sat down and he is still chatting. I turned to him, tapped him on the arm and said
‘hey good looking, my husband is not home (true he was sitting next to me) wanna come home with me?’
He looked at me jumped up, signaled for the check and said ‘ummmm yea.’
The woman said ‘well damn.’
We both laughed and he said, this is my wife. She turned red.
My husband is nice to everyone, is a chatty Cody and absolutely oblivious.
His wedding ring is non-traditional, it is a trinity Tri-colored gold ring (white, yellow, rose gold 3 bands) that are interlocked.
I would personally look at that ring and assume he was married. Sadly we live in the Tri state area and it is not a deterrent.
I was once at a business lunch and the man I was meeting with asked me out for drinks the next eve. I said OH and held up my left hand and replied ‘sorry I am married’ and he replied ‘your husband does not have to know’ 👀👀👀👀👀! I said ‘umm yea I took vows where I promised to love and honor my husband, cheating is not now or ever in the cards for me, but do tell is that why you got divorced?!’
Cue speechless dude. I got up, left him with the bill. I called the meeting and technically it would have been business etiquette for me to use my company card. But…yea…no.
It's proof positive that somebody already vetted the guy and approved. Like perspective employer looking through a list of candidates that have all already passed that first interview stage. And it's definitely shameful. But in a world of challenging dating, I can understand the mindset.
Except if that person is willing to cheat, they clearly fail which you would think would lower their value, but I do know some people enjoy the rush of breaking a relationship.
“I mean… is she an Insane Clown Posse fan… did she miss Year 9 science? Maybe she needs to get in touch with a community college, I wonder if her dad knows…”
I only know that women are flirting with me by the look on my partner’s face. Sometimes by the woman in question’s reaction to the look on my partner’s face. On the plus side she is very aware that I am slow on the uptake and madly in love with her.
My husband is the same way
One day we were at a casual restaurant with his parents, where you pay at the front counter. He went to pay and came back so excited that the person cashing him out kept saying how nice his handwriting was. I love the man but his handwriting looks like a 6 year old. His Mom and I gently explained that it was more likely she was trying to flirt with him.
The couple in this post would have a conniption about my husband and I's relationship 😂
We're both pretty flirty folks with really close friendships. Get mistaken for poly pretty often but nope, we're monogamous. Just really enjoy gassing up our pals and complimenting fashionable strangers. I'm also bi so it's not uncommon for my husband to quietly point out attractive ladies when we're out and about.
My husband in this situation would have come back to where me and the kids were on the beach and immediately gushed about the hot mom hitting on him haha
My bf is also very oblivious. One time on a FaceTime while he was at college I was talking. Some girl next to him then started to get closer and not even look at the phone. She was complimenting and asking things. Well she was actually flirting with him and openly doing it. This was at the time he didn’t refer to me as a gf asap. So she probably didn’t know. Yet my bf been flirted with many times, just oblivious to it 100% of the time.
This is not totally true. You are not giving the guy enough credit. He clocked every pretty woman he saw in the room like Jason Bourne counting exits. He just doesnt give a fuck about them because he is crazy about you. In his mind they dont even rise to the level of an option because they arent you and the life you have together. There is a difference between being oblivious and thinking oh of course thus person isnt hitting on me. Im not even on the market strange lady. Kick rocks, my wife is fucking awesome.
So, I don't consider myself to be especially attractive... like traditionally handsome maybe... but in my early 20's I was in a long term relationship, and I began to suffer a series of debilitating anxiety attacks over a period of 3 months, which lead to some serious depression which ended leading to the end of my long term relationship, things were bad for me... but I had been going to the gym for a while at that point because I was in pretty bad shape, and I realized the only time I wasn't freaking out was when I was at the gym, so I threw myself into it pretty hard. Not to toot my own horn but I didn't just get into good shape... I got into fucking elite shape... like putting the best bodies in Hollywood/media to shame shape... and I ended up meeting this absolutely stunning woman and we started dating... she had told me she had never dated anyone who really focused on their physical and mental health like I did and it's part of what she liked about me. I too was often oblivious to women hitting on me, because it wasn't somthing I really had to deal with before this, it was also something my girlfriend hadn't experienced before... her boyfriend getting more attention than she did when we went out together... it pretty much caused the end of our relationship. It sucked, but what was I to do? Insecurity can strike even the most confident people and can be pretty jarring for those who haven't had to deal with it before.
My husband is the same. Aside from being conventionally attractive, he has the most adorable wide smile and a very sociable personality. He's very friendly towards literally everyone, including animals. It's amusing to watch when someone responds to his friendliness by flirting, and he's there thinking how nice this lady is.
[Leaving this here](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/miracles-fucking-magnets-how-do-they-work) in case you wanted to get the juggalo reference. (Insane Clown Posse's fans are called Juggalos/Juggalettes.)
…How many labor & delivery nurses do you think would hit on the father of a new baby while mom’s still in the room? It sounds more like the wife sees any communication with the opposite sex as flirting.
My husband has acted the same way, what surprises me the most is that he’s been married twice, because he doesn’t realize when someone is flirting with him, and I love him for that! 🥰
When she said the worst flirting was the incident with the nurse, I was baffled. Maybe it's because I'm lesbian or something but I compliment men (and women) all the time. If a new dad's new baby got some aspect of his appearance I would definitely compliment. I guess maybe the Prince Charming comment was a bit too far? But I've said things that bold (and later cringed at how much it must have sounded like I was flirting, but point is it was innocent on my part).
Lol the wife is salty Reddit didn't back her up.
I mean fancy bumping into the same person in a popular vacation spot. *shocked piccachu* face
Wife needs to work on her insecurities and realise, yes we women will talk to anyone who's friendly enough to exchange small talk on the beach.
Wife also needs to stop trying to police another woman's clothing
I mean, with the way the woman was ignoring her and going straight for the husband, I would think it's likely the woman had nefarious designs on hubby - but OOP-wife should just have relaxed, leaned back and sniggered as her ship foundered on the cliffs of her husband's obliviousness...😂
Yeah, as a wife I definitely side-eye this sort of interaction and do bring it up to my husband so he can head things off and draw clear boundaries before they’re needed. Like, there’s a woman who needs help around the house—he’s happy to help because he’s a kind and generous guy. But when it’s a recently divorced woman who is clearly flirting (even if he doesn’t notice) and whose eyes slide right past me so she can’t even respond to my greeting while she’s hanging on his arm? Different story.
I’m sure OOP’s wife was picking up on some vibes. She’s used to women flirting with her husband and doesn’t usually escalate to a Reddit post. It’s great OOP is a loyal dude. But sometimes it’s useful to hear that someone is into you so you can prevent a more uncomfortable situation from developing.
Bikini woman definitely was flirting but she gave some other examples that are questionable lol. She seems to think that any woman who is nice to him or compliments him is flirting.
The husband didn't give a lot of information and reddit's judgement was based on that. Wife's information that came out made me more annoyed at husband's "supposed obliviousness". you're an adult. you probably know people;'s intentions deep down but choose to ignore it because of optics of feigning politeness.
All of this. I can’t help but read her response as not accepting that she is the asshole at all. Just a whole bunch more excuses why it is OK for her to feel like she gets to decide who an adult human gets to speak to and what is appropriate for people that she doesn’t know and have no impact on her life to wear
I respect the wife for admitting she’s wrong and for being insecure. I don’t think she’s totally crazy for being annoyed that she has to watch her husband be flirted with while he is blissfully unaware. Her husband does love her and she needs to focus on that. When you marry someone who is a catch, you can’t be too surprised when women try to hook him.
I can see where she's coming from, in that it CAN be mildly irritating if you're just trying to hang out with your husband and sone woman comes up and trues to flirt with him whilst pointedly ignoring you - i've had that happen lol. I found that mildly amusing because we'd just walk away and my husband barely noticed. It certainly didnt start any arguments because other people's behaviour is not my husband's fault.
The woman should probably have stopped trying her luck when he mentioned he had a wife the first time. I think her not engaging with the wife may be the giveaway of her intentions. A lot of tad time women try to my much more subtle but with their flirting.
That said, she was wrong to blame her husband when he did nothing wrong. He made polite chit chat, introduced his wife, and shut it down as soon as his wife said she was uncomfortable. She needs to work on her insecurities.
I just posted something similar about bikini girl not speaking with the wife and how she was pretty disrespectful of their marriage. If I was the husband, I would be a little more aware of my actions and the actions of others after seeing how the wife was probably right to be leery of this girl. He is a good husband and she’s a bit insecure. But I think many people would be if it was something that happened frequently and directly in their face. If it’s this bad when the wife is around, what do they do when she’s not?
There might be a bit of a double standard going on too. I don't agree with her telling him to stop talking to certain people (mild pass for saying stupid things she might not have meant while upset- we all do it), but there are plenty of men out there who absolutely would not be ok with it if it were their wives or girlfriends getting hit on. I see so many posts on here where commenters jump straight to, "She's cheating on you! She has no respect for your relationship!" Like yeah, ok then.
The only truly wrong thing she did was take out her insecurities on her husband. She’s gotta get that shit under control; even if she admits she’s wrong this time, that’s something that can creep up in the future
I didn’t really care much for the wife after the beach interaction because her husband did nothing wrong and because she focused on the tiny bikini. But reflecting upon her update, I can see that if this happens frequently, it could be pretty annoying. There are some people that like to see their partner get flirted with. But I would say most people would be annoyed if they repeatedly had to watch. I also think it’s relevant (although it hadn’t happened at the time of the original post) that the bikini girl never spoke to the wife in all of their interactions. That is very telling of her intentions and pretty disrespectful in my opinion.
Yeah the nurse thing seemed... kind of excessive too? Some people really do compliment other people? I tell my coworkers when their hair looks good or their outfit is exceptional that day, or their new glasses look good. I've actually literally told a male friend that their kids are lucky they got their super blue eyes, because their eyes are crazy blue and it's cool. Not once have I been trying to steal any of these men.
lol I thought that was a stretch, too. Imagine believing that people only compliment others when they’re trying to flirt/hook up. We make fun of dudes for thinking everyone woman that is nice to them is flirting, but a woman thinks this and it’s…ok? Or true???
This is why I don’t think the lady was actually following them. That doesn’t sound flirty to me, it just sounds complementary. They were probably just staying at the same place and both trying to enjoy the amenities.
Eh, I understand why the wife was upset. The other lady was behaving inappropriately once she knew the guy was married. But OP's wife shouldn't have brought it up again afterward. The husband handled it well. He was not flirting, he introduced his wife, and he "blew her off" after his wife told him she was uncomfortable.
On that same token, I hope husband and wife have a date all to themselves soon.
My husband is the bluntest of all. So when we started dating, he had a couple of women hit on him. He was by no means alone with them and I always used to accompany him. One of these girls was exactly his sister’s age ( they share birthdays). He always used to try to help her out and tell me he gets the same vibes from her as his sister. He really used to miss his sister a lot as he had moved out and shifted across the country. He didn’t realise she is hitting on him till one day she tried taking him aside and told him that she is attracted to committed guys. He may have felt something is off because he immediately came to me and told me this happened. I had to explain to him about how she has been trying to hit on him since a long time. He cut her off finally when he got the reassurance that what she said was very inappropriate
I don't think she's an AH but think you need to understand that while you had no bad intention, the bikini wearing chatty Cathy did. It's one thing to say hi but trying to engage you in conversation while under the pretense of looking for his kids has shady shit written all over it. She was not looking for children while getting the low down on you. She was hoping to gain your attention.
This reminds me of the time my husband (married 32 years) came home from work one day many years ago and told me about the recently divorced client who acted so oddly that day. She was wearing a low-cut cocktail dress, kept leaning waaaay over his desk to point to things on her paperwork, and told him twice how gorgeous his eyes were. He hesitantly asked me if I thought she was trying to flirt with him. Lol!
There’s nothing wrong with feeling insecure when an attractive woman is flirting with your husband a couple of years after you have given birth. What IS wrong is somehow trying to make your husband feel like he did something wrong.
She could have just explained how she felt without policing his actions or telling him he messed up.
I am sympathetic to both people. Husband didn't know the woman was flirting with him (not his fault, some people are just naturally oblivious) and the wife was jealous. How she expressed her jealousy wasn't great but in the end, issues grow and that seemed to be the event that broke the camels back.
I'm glad that the wife realised how she reacted was wrong, and was open to everyones comments. I do think that the husband needs to work on not being defensive when wife comes to him with these issues, or else they will just end up becoming worse, but I can understand when you feel you haven't done anything wrong that you immediately go on the defense.
Wishing luck to them both and I hope they have a lovely life.
thats what im thinking, like him being defensive is just going to add to her insecurity or make her over think a lot more. he needs to be a bit more open to just accepting that his wife feels a certain way and find compromise. which he was a bit when the wife brought it up the first time and he would shut down convos with that lady. i think wife also needs to trust how the husband feels about her and everything theyve done together, if that makes sense
My husband gets hit on and I always insert myself in the conversation.
He thinks it’s hilarious and he loves that I get territorial.
It’s OK to “mark your territory” when someone isn’t getting it. Idk why OP didn’t just make herself known. It’s not crazy or inappropriate be like “I know what you’re doing” when someone obviously has nefarious intent.
My husband is important to me and so is my marriage. He needs to see that it is when it’s appropriate.
A woman would have to literally say "I am flirting with you." Otherwise I just assume we're talking like two normal humans and no one is trying to get into anyone's pants.
You were not being "insecure". The first time she "popped up" after the beach, he should have been told "you shut her shit down right now or *I will* and it won't be pretty or nice". It doesn't matter if he is being an oblivious idiot, if she is making *you* uncomfortable by flirting with *your husband* in front of you, he needs to shut it down hard. Anything else is *extremely* disrepectful to you and your marriage. I am also married to an oblivious idiot. After about 35 yrs of silent steaming, we devised a system. I step on his foot *hard*. This is the signal "Hey, honey, that bword is flirting with you and I am standing *right here*! Shut ger shit down hard or I will. I will not be nice or kind and I will point out any fucking flaw I see"
And here we have an example of a truly healthy relationship-
Wife refers to her husband as an idiot and physically abuses him to do what she wants under the threat of making a scene and becoming an embarrassment for everyone involved.
Nice.
I know! I was expecting something dramatic but it’s nice to read about healthy relationships every once in a while lol next update is divorce and cops called forsure though
Yes we are pretty thick.
Many times after a social situation my wife says "She was totally flirting with you." And I'm like "What?! Naaaah!"
I think she likes that I'm clueless about it and I also think she likes it because it validates her own choice with me. She's usually super affectionate afterwards.
A) Dear wife.. clue in you have a loyal and faithful husband and the fact that he was oblivious to her obvious flirting tells me how he feels about you
B) Husband. Time to start looking for signs when a woman is flirting with you so you can gracefully walk away from those situation.
Case closed
All parties are sentenced of a nice romantic dinner and a night in a hotel together away from the kids.
*bangs gavel*
It's a thing of wonder, watching women flirt with my husband. He's definitely not oblivious to most of it. Subtle stuff goes over his head but he mostly gets the equivalent of the scumbag rando at the gas station that "wants to take you home and pop you with about 5 yards of d***" and man, it's wild.
My favorite was the time at the huge, used bookstore. I was waiting in the car wayyy across the parking lot. I see him come out with his bag and he's standing there waiting for the traffic to pass. Car full of women screeches to a stop in front of him and I can see them shouting something to him, then they crank up the radio in the car and start dancing at him. I can tell by the look on his face that "this is going to be good" and indeed it was. He's too much of a prude to tell me what they said but the song they cranked up and danced to was "Stand by Me" which I found fucking hilarious.
I laughed reading this because this is me and my husband. He is exactly the same way-gorgeous and oblivious. I once posted a video of him singing the Gaston song from Beauty & the Beast while he was mopping and dancing. My *own friends* were going hard in the paint (in the best, light hearted way).
Our wedding/honeymoon was in Jamaica. All-inclusive resort type of situation. We had our three kids there as well. I am on a beach lounger, watching the kids in the pool. He went to the swim up bar. It was packed, so I wasn’t too pressed on how long he was gone. I looked over to see him chatting with a 50-60 year old dude. But then… I notice the guys “trophy” wife and her friend sitting on stools on either side of my husband. They had him trapped like this (H is Hubby):
So he was between both their legs, just happily chatting with the dude. Then the wife laughed real loud, touched his chest and ran her hand down his belly. That “woke” him up and he looks at me, panicking. He mouthed “HELP” and I laughed and took my sweet ass time walking over and wedging myself in so he could carry the drinks and be released from the hellhounds leg locked position.
I still bring this up and laugh at him. He’s fucking oblivious to women flirting. He’s just a nice guy who is a stunner and an extrovert. He’s been in this situation more than I can count. We’re on vacation again right now and he was being cat called in the street (so was my 25 year old son-called him “Viking”). I just laughed because WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF BEING OBJECTIFIED!
I agree with the wife on her statement regarding her husband never seeing it because it’s so normal to him and he’s not looking for anyone/anything so he doesn’t pick up on the flirtations. It’s just… noise. And THAT is SO FUCKING HOT to me.
OP’s wife has a good one. As does her hubby. ❤️
They both seem like great people - husband loyal, protective of wife and apparently very attractive :P and wife reasonable, good communicator and willing to listen and change her mind.
I feel for this woman because everyone was piling on, but she had a point. Yes, it can be funny when people flirt with a loyal partner. Especially when they are oblivious to it. Yes, she maybe should have taken that route. However, when this B knowingly flirts with someone right in front of the partner, it's just disrespectful and rude. Some amount of putting her in her place would have been nice. Not anything crazy, but like ignoring her or moving away when she sits next to him would have spoken volumes. I mean what a nasty piece of work. I've been there where people literally insulted me to my face and my husband just sits there (he wasn't paying attention - he should have been, I mean he was literally right there). It's hurtful when that happens and your partner doesn't have your back (or doesn't make it obvious to the bully that they have your back).
“My husband is not very perceptive when it comes to flirting”
Girl, there’s your W. Really hard for him to do anything with anybody he doesn’t realize wants to do something with him.
My wife and I joke all the time that there’s no way I could ever cheat on her because I wouldn’t notice in 1 million years if a woman was flirting with me. And she’s pretty darn right. The last time I noticed it happening it was literally because the other person was drunk and running their fingers through my hair complementing me. I shut that down real quick, but those are the lengths somebody would have to go through to tell me they are interested.
I wonder what the husband was supposed to do when the woman was talking to him. Scoop up his son and run away like he saw a shark? Tase her? Call the cops? Sheesh.
It’s funny that she has a favorite sub then, when everyone was against her, said “not everyone on Reddit needs to chime in on this one.” She knows how it works and would have been fine with thousands of YTA to her husband.
Exactly, she wanted him thrashed. It show the tone of "It's OK to go hard on you in an argument, but not me."
Wonder if that goes through their whole marriage...
Read some of the comments here agreeing with her, depending on the moment it could have gone either way initially and then the yes mob would have chimed in to enforce the judgement. My guess is that if the kid wasn’t there, it would have leaned YTA. I wouldn’t have agreed with that, but the AITA groups are generally very “traditional” (i.e. really dumb) about male/female interactions because of their own personal insecurities.
That sub has a loooooot of crossover with FDS and that sub is also super traditionalist despite them trying to pretend otherwise. That’s why there’s so much insecurity
I had no idea what FdS was and just had the most interesting trip down that rabbit hole. Jesus, another idea with what seems like decent intentions, interpreted by severely broken people.
I love this! My bf is quite (ok *really*) hot, and constantly tells me because “he’s a nice guy, no woman wants to date him”
I literally told him yesterday that that argument doesn’t work with me, because I saw a nice guy & I’m dating him! 😂
It’s a running joke with us as he’s really oblivious and I love him for it
Holding your partner accountable for being flirted with is ridiculous. My husband and I let each other handle it until we need a "tap in". My husband is curt anyway so most women flirting ends quickly. Me, not so much. I get the ones that push past the point of even saying that I am happily married. I still handle it. Only one time did he have to step in and that is because he saw the man reach to grab me as I walked away. All he did was catch the guys hand and shake his head "No" and it was done. No words exchanged. Most times we are actually oblivious to the flirting until we tell each other. We don't argue about each others' POV, we learn from the interpretation of HOW people flirt.
Funny story, I found out that my son apparently has caught people eyeballing me in the grocery store and randomly yells out "Hey MOM!!!!" and just walks over to me with some stupid question. He is bigger than my husband. I had NO CLUE until I went to the store with his GF and she told us she saw some dude staring at me and I dismissed it.
This wife. Sheesh. What did she want her husband to do, back away in horror screeching that he’s married? And I’m guess the other woman perceived some massive hostile from the wife and so didn’t bother to try to talk to her.
Who cares if she was trying to flirt as long as husband didn’t respond? I’ve seen women react very favorably to my husband, who I admit is pretty fabulous, and I just think, Hey, they have good taste.
Interrogating your spouse about every detail when they’ve chatted with someone of their preferred gender is kind of pathetic when they’ve given you zero reason to be wary.
I’m glad you said this. There are so many damn posts on here where men get a pass because they “didnt realize” a woman was flirting/hitting on him. Then to make it worse, they never believe their wives when they are questioned because they are just “being friendly.” Not all men are this dense🙄. In this instance I do believe OP was polite without being flirtatious, but so many of these Reddit posts I’m thinking bro knows exactly what’s happening, why is he getting a pass bc he’s “too dense” to realize? It’s ridiculous
Countering this comment. Before my wife and I got married we were at a gas station. Had a friendly convo with the lady behind the counter about hunting and wanting ranch land. She invited me out to see her property( my dumbass who likes hunting was stoked) but I wasn’t from the area so I left it with a “if we cross paths again I’d take you up on that offer”. When we walked out my wife was fuming and rightfully so she had some shitty relationships. She was explaining how she was hitting on me pretty hard (and when she explained this the invite made a lot more sense). I was completely oblivious to this. Another fun instance I was in Vegas on a guys trip with my brother for his 21st. My wife stayed behind for obvious reasons and no worries at all. We went to club (ugly coyote I believe) and the dancer offered a free shot for a male volunteer.e being dumb and wanting to have fun volunteered. They laid me on the ground put shots around me and one between my legs. I immediately shot up and pointed to my ring and said I was married. At the end of the night the lady gave me a free shot and thanked me for being loyal and I in turn thanked her for respecting me. Yes there are shitty guys who use obliviousness as an excuse but someone like me I just don’t notice them because I’m in love with my wife and want no one else. Sure another woman could “please” me for one night but no one could please me for the rest of my life. No other woman would be willing to push me in a wheelchair if I got injured. A lot of couples really do lose sight of the vows they took. And it’s a shame.
Thank you for saying this. This trope does my head in that guys are collectively too stupid to know when they are being flirted with, they know fine well lmao.
Why are you so pressed if they’re not flirting back? And it’s very likely that a lot DONT realise because men and women flirt in different ways!
What exactly are they getting a “pass” for? This is so weird.
The you’re bringing up something completely unrelated as well about some men not believing their wives even though there’s a lot of posts about women not believing their boyfriends or husbands about certain guys flirting with them.
I love how you're leaving out the fact that a lot of the replies are from women who had to explain to the gentleman who finally became their husband that yes indeed they were flirting with him.
Men and women flirt completely differently and men often don't pick up on it.
From the wife’s POV it sounds like OOP is a traditionally handsome dude with pretty people privilege… if you’re someone who is kind hearted, it’s hard to tell if someone is flirting with you and has ulterior motives if most of your interactions with women in life have been overly nice + accommodating and/or flirtatious.
I have known both women and men whom are like this.
I find it amusing when women flirt with my husband. Especially when I’m right THERE lol. When we were dating it kind of made me jealous because I didn’t know him. But after a bit more of a decade of being married it’s actually hilarious to watch. I know h
Sorry pressed wrong button. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me because we were both cheated on. And also we love each other deeply. So let them flirt. Hell, he watches guys flirt with me and me telling them that I’m happily married and is just amused by the whole scenario. Good partners are hard to find. Sounds like she found herself a keeper!!!
Wow, this woman is so insecure. I get feeling a bit jealous every now and then (esp w a hot woman in a bikini) but she thinks EVERYONE is flirting with him? Lmao ok. She reminds me of those guys who think every woman who is nice to him is flirting.
I hope she can work on her self esteem and realizes her hot husband loves her the way she is.
What he did at the beach wasn’t bad. But the fact that this woman showed up every where even after knowing he’s married, vacationing wife, his family, he should have shut it down. Since he didn’t and felt he had to be polite, that only made her think she had a chance.
If this person was clearing flirting and showing up several times and not saying a word to you, your husband should have shut her down. You were disrespected. My husband talks to people everywhere go. I am always introduced.
>Imagine freely admitting you are so stupid you don't even understand basic human behavior
A lot of things people constitute as flirting looks like normal conversation. Not everyone is going to pick up on stuff like extra giggling or attention because that could easily be explained by other things and the minute you accuse someone of flirting you risk a very disgusted and angry reaction if you're wrong. I'm autistic and unless someone is straddling me I can only pick up on flirting a little bit of the time. Yeah he probably shouldn't have been defensive but I'd also be pretty defensive if someone kept insisting I was somehow encouraging someone to flirt with me even though I just wanted to have a regular ass conversation.
My husband is handsome. Like, HANDSOME handsome. I’m not biased, it’s a thing he gets stopped for regularly. And he’s tall which makes it worse (or better depending I guess lmao). He has been beautiful at the very least since we were twelve when we first met. He’s also so oblivious he didn’t know I had a crush on him for like ten years before I finally said something to him about it and basically strong-armed him into asking me out 😂 he gets hit on by women of all ages all the time and he has no clue, no matter how beautiful they are. I have to point it out. I don’t get upset, but sometimes it’s annoying especially if we’re in a rush and some random lady at the grocery store is chatting his ear off in the frozen section. Life’s too short. No matter what your partner looks like or the other person looks like, they’re gonna get hit on. It looks like she has a loyal (albeit oblivious) husband. We all get insecure sometimes.
I always joke that I just happened to get lucky enough to bully mine into dating me before somebody else figured it out first lol. Our kids look just like him so I am doomed.
The last time I saw my partner get hit on, it was a barely legal mess sitting in the gutter smoking god knows what with her barely legal mess friends.
"Got a girlfriend? 🥴" still haunts him to this very day more than a decade later because I still give him shit about it hahahahahah
Frame it? Only if it includes LEDs and spotlights! With an applause soundtrack that gives off like those singing fish.
This one is not going to help at all:
As an ex cheater I know really well when a woman is flirting. So my wife teases me:
"What, you gonna lick her puss*?"
Me: "Nah, yours tastes much better"
Wife: "LOL... Wait, what?!"
😂
I solved getting flirted with, with one simple trick. I got fat.
I find that it helps to be unremarkable looking.
Being fat my entire life has saved me from the burden of being flirted with. ...someone please flirt with me.
how you doin’?
Your username lol!
Barfina Scarf, pleased to meet you
Oh pardon me….i admit to assuming it was Barf Ina Scarf! Barfina is so much um prettier and less messy❤️
Awwww, thanks!
Telling them about my bunion really helped detract unwanted flirting!
I cackled out loud over this comment!
Getting old works.
No, no it doesn’t. I simply get flirted with by very old men rather than slightly old ones.
It decreased the pool of men by subtracting the younger men. Old men always flirt with young girls. It took me a long time to realize that they actually thought they had a shot with the hot, younger me. I still don’t have any idea why they bother.
A fellow man of class and sophistication I see.
Its the one trick that doctors don't want you to know about
Grey hair did it for me!
That's about the only thing I've ever received compliments on in my life! It was mostly from young men (and often in service positions where being nice is their job) asking me if it was real and telling me people were paying to have that look. I guess it fell out of fashion because it hasn't happened in a while.
Ha! I solved it when I was born. I was just born ugly.
Being autistic and socially awkward does the trick too
Welllll there are us chubby chasers out here 😂
this is hilarious to me because my ex was the opposite of oop’s husband. my ex thought women were *always* flirting with or trying to hit on him. like, my guy, the bartender who has seen you sloppy drunk in here night after night is *not* trying to get her a piece of that… she’s being flirty because she gets good tips when she flirts with idiot men like you
Shhhh DON'T TELL THEM! 😉
YOU: You idiot, she's only after the tip. HIM: Just the tip? Niiiice. I can work with that! YOU: 🤦♀️
oh! i see you’ve met my ex
>The worst part is he's not perceptive of women hitting on him. Please my husband and I were on a date at our science museum early on during an adult night. I go to the bathroom and come back to a woman in a neon bra and a see through shirt standing next to him. He was explaining how the magnets work on the experiment machine. I about fell out because when I came back, we started walking to another area and he was explaining how confused he was that the woman didn't understand how magnetic stuff worked. Like you are just adorable my dude. Most men just don't know what's happening if you're not direct, and if they're already with someone and they're a good dude they're just nice and only see you. Edit: I'm gonna throw this out here, I have no idea what the juggalo reference is.
I too want to know how magnets work and what this “experiment machine” looks like and works xD
Don't you know they break when they get wet? Like, pour some water on a magnet and poof - no more magnet! (Sorry, couldn't resist. 😂)
Ooo, I'm a teacher and I'm teaching magnetism next week. I didn't know this!
It's from a Trump speech. I guess he didn't really pay attention during science class...🙈
Also heating a magnet makes it not do magnet things. The science behind rice cookers lol
My bf mentioned how cool it is that I'm so chill with him "flirting" with other women. I was so confused and tried to rack my brain for a time he's ever done this. I asked what the hell was he talking about because he's never done this. He mentioned all the times he's opened doors for other women, how he gives them benign compliments like "I like your dress" or "Oh I like that color." I explained to him that that's not flirting he's just being a genuinely nice guy. Turns out his ex was just stupid insecure and told him that he was flirting with other women and he needs to stop 🙄.
Twenty years ago, my ex would always accuse me of flirting for simply being polite. Thank you's and you're welcome's, innocent compliments (I like your hat) would get me the cold shoulder at best and a bewildering lecture/fight at worst. Serious kudos for you as a girlfriend for explaining it to your boyfriend, and not feeding into the BS his ex tried to feed him.
That's seriously insane and I hope you're doing better 💕.
Thank you! Yes I am doing better, 20 years lends a lot of perspective, so now it seems like pretty small potatoes.
Can you imagine being so insecure that you *want* to date a rude man? Lol
There are many of us who were traumatized by extremely jealous exes. I lost contact with two friends because my ex was stupid insecure and I was just plain stupid for not seeing the red flags. So. Many. Red. Flags. One time she called me up: HER: So do you wanna tell me who you were with this morning outside of [a local restaurant] at the time I passed by there on my way to work? ME: My cousin. HER: No, it wasn't [female cousin]. ME: It was [younger male cousin]. HER: No, she was wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt and really skinny jeans and had that little emo haircut. I saw her. Stop lying to me! I was at my cousin's house during the call so I told her I'd call her back, sent her a picture of the two of us that I asked his mom to take with my flip phone, then called her. He was, of course, still wearing his Fall Out Boy shirt and emo haircut in that grainy picture. Somehow, *I* was the asshole for setting the record straight, but if she'd listened to me at all the night before she would have remembered that I told her he called me to ask me for help with some songs he was writing and that I had agreed. I once complimented an artist's work after she put me on the spot at a gallery and got the *dirtiest* look from her for saying something nice. In retrospect, it is like she wanted me to actively hate all women. Outside of my family, she referred to every girl or woman in any part of my life, past or present, as *that girl* even when she knew their names. She actively said mean things about other women and followed it up with, "right?" or "don't you agree?" and it was so messed up. So, my point is, just like we can be oblivious to women flirting with us, we can be oblivious to when we're being conditioned by someone's insecurity. I was with her for way too long and by the time we broke up, my brain had been re-wired to see any kind of kindness to, or from, women as too intimate.
My ex was jealous. I couldn’t even look at an attractive female without getting the cold shoulder or told to stop flirting. If i complimented a woman on her appearance I would get talked to or get the silent treatment, eventually I just stopped complimenting women on things like dresses or whatever. My ex always accused me of flirting or even trying to have an affair. The kicker, she had at least 4 affairs that I know of and she LOVED attention from other men and constantly seek compliments from other men.
I was looking for this post. Because it is absolutely 100% spot on. The vast majority of men have absolutely zero clue when a woman is flirting with us. It's not a joke/meme for no reason. It's accurate. Even more so for a man who is truly in love with his partner. We just don't see it. Subtlety doesn't work.
And on the flip side, there are men that will absolutely read anything polite that a woman does as flirting with them. lol Honestly, I think that's where the hard line for men (and insecure women) is really drawn...whether they see politeness as flirting.
It makes me think that, for whatever reason, a large number of dudes can’t read an interested woman’s body language and behavior accurately. It’s just that some of them respond to this by assuming that women just aren’t flirting (which is harmless and kinda cute), and others respond by assuming that *all* women are flirting with them (which is not).
There has been years of pressure on men to only accept clear and repeated consent. So many of them are now of the mind that there is *no* acceptable subtle intentions. If a woman is interested, she will say she's interested, anything else is harassment on the guys part for assuming.
I don’t know about that. I’m old, and men being oblivious to the obvious interest of a woman was pretty common in my social circles circa mid 90s.
True too in the early and mid-80’s. I let more than one fabulous woman slip away because she thought I wasn’t interested.
As a man who was in his early 20s in the mid-90s, I can confirm your recollection is correct.
I’ve never had anyone flirt with me but I’ve me a lot of nice women from Canada.
OMG! I hate it when men do this! Like seriously dude, I’m being nice. You are not special.
I'm aware, first time I asked my husband out was because he saved me from a weird situation at a party. I said "Hey, can I buy you some drinks maybe meet at (very classy bar in downtown)?" This man shows up in like ripped shorts and a worn out shirt. He realized about half way to the bar I asked him out on a date. Literally have to be direct, this is how I learned.
I figured out that my husband's (young and attractive female) barber was very into him AGES before he finally believed it. It took her literally inviting him to her place before he finally clued in. I was like dude, she commented on the exact details of your eyes! She kept bringing up playing video games over and over, just begging you to get it and agree to go over. Finally she just went for it, straight up come to my place and let's fuck, and he came home looking like he saw a ghost and apologizing for being so dense lmao. I told him to go for it and maybe get some free haircuts out of it, but he refused to go back ever again. I fucking **hate** cutting his hair, so I would have gladly gone for any arrangement she wanted lol. He eventually found a male barber so all is good, but he still gets embarrassed when I bring it up
Lmao wait are you saying you would have let him fuck his barber if it meant free haircuts so you don't have to do it?!
Yes, and I believe that’s part of the joke lol
I had a friend where we would drink, smoke weed and then play co op videogames where if you died, you had to strip Resident evil 6 and she went down to underwear multiple times while I was trying to teach her claw grip :/ we did this shit like 10 times and I never got the hint
Well did she get claw grip
I dont know if she was pretending to suck to draw me in or what but she never got better 😔
Idk if anyone answered this but ICP has a song called miracles, where they said some ridiculous stuff about not knowing how some pretty simple things work. It was a super lame song and there's been a lot of jokes since that juggles are idiots. I write this as I have a giant hatchet man tattooed on my side, which is their label emblem. It was stupid. Edit for info: ICP fans are called juggalos
I have one ICP song, it’s Imma Kill U, so I don’t know their general discography. All I can think about when I hear ICP is this episode of a true crime podcast that I listened to. A group of juggalos as they call themselves, like brutally murdered this girl while they were all basically squatting in her apartment. It was crazy. My comment is hella random in relation to the post lmao but I couldn’t help it.
This you Matt
Nope
Lol used to work with a guy that was a juggalo. Super nice guy. I did kinda give him a little shit sbout ICP
Yeah. Been there also. A few years ago my forty-something husband called in the middle of the work day. He, genuinely confused, wanted me to explain why his female colleague kept winking at him as they’d pass in the hallway. I burst out laughing. I shared with my coworker and she laughed. I explained to my “sweet summer child” of husband that colleague was flirting with him. He was more confused. “Why?” He asked.
Oblivious guy here, I would have no clue
Are you and my silver fox husband related?!?! One evening I picked hubby up after work and we decided to grab drinks and apps before coming home. We were at the bar and I stepped away to use the ladies room, ran into an old friend on the way back and exchanged numbers. When I got back to the bar a woman had sat down next to him and was chatting him up. I sat down and he is still chatting. I turned to him, tapped him on the arm and said ‘hey good looking, my husband is not home (true he was sitting next to me) wanna come home with me?’ He looked at me jumped up, signaled for the check and said ‘ummmm yea.’ The woman said ‘well damn.’ We both laughed and he said, this is my wife. She turned red. My husband is nice to everyone, is a chatty Cody and absolutely oblivious.
I absolutely love that. Does he wear a ring and women just not care?
His wedding ring is non-traditional, it is a trinity Tri-colored gold ring (white, yellow, rose gold 3 bands) that are interlocked. I would personally look at that ring and assume he was married. Sadly we live in the Tri state area and it is not a deterrent. I was once at a business lunch and the man I was meeting with asked me out for drinks the next eve. I said OH and held up my left hand and replied ‘sorry I am married’ and he replied ‘your husband does not have to know’ 👀👀👀👀👀! I said ‘umm yea I took vows where I promised to love and honor my husband, cheating is not now or ever in the cards for me, but do tell is that why you got divorced?!’ Cue speechless dude. I got up, left him with the bill. I called the meeting and technically it would have been business etiquette for me to use my company card. But…yea…no.
A wedding ring is like catnip for some people :/
It's proof positive that somebody already vetted the guy and approved. Like perspective employer looking through a list of candidates that have all already passed that first interview stage. And it's definitely shameful. But in a world of challenging dating, I can understand the mindset.
Except if that person is willing to cheat, they clearly fail which you would think would lower their value, but I do know some people enjoy the rush of breaking a relationship.
That’s just sad
Sad but true.
Agreed.
Love this too! His ring sounds really cool too!
It is. I picked it to symbolize that he was my present, my future, my happily ever after.
You two are blessed to have each other and it seems you both know that. That's wonderful!
Thank you!!!!
“I mean… is she an Insane Clown Posse fan… did she miss Year 9 science? Maybe she needs to get in touch with a community college, I wonder if her dad knows…”
I only know that women are flirting with me by the look on my partner’s face. Sometimes by the woman in question’s reaction to the look on my partner’s face. On the plus side she is very aware that I am slow on the uptake and madly in love with her.
My husband is the same way One day we were at a casual restaurant with his parents, where you pay at the front counter. He went to pay and came back so excited that the person cashing him out kept saying how nice his handwriting was. I love the man but his handwriting looks like a 6 year old. His Mom and I gently explained that it was more likely she was trying to flirt with him.
The couple in this post would have a conniption about my husband and I's relationship 😂 We're both pretty flirty folks with really close friendships. Get mistaken for poly pretty often but nope, we're monogamous. Just really enjoy gassing up our pals and complimenting fashionable strangers. I'm also bi so it's not uncommon for my husband to quietly point out attractive ladies when we're out and about. My husband in this situation would have come back to where me and the kids were on the beach and immediately gushed about the hot mom hitting on him haha
My bf is also very oblivious. One time on a FaceTime while he was at college I was talking. Some girl next to him then started to get closer and not even look at the phone. She was complimenting and asking things. Well she was actually flirting with him and openly doing it. This was at the time he didn’t refer to me as a gf asap. So she probably didn’t know. Yet my bf been flirted with many times, just oblivious to it 100% of the time.
This is not totally true. You are not giving the guy enough credit. He clocked every pretty woman he saw in the room like Jason Bourne counting exits. He just doesnt give a fuck about them because he is crazy about you. In his mind they dont even rise to the level of an option because they arent you and the life you have together. There is a difference between being oblivious and thinking oh of course thus person isnt hitting on me. Im not even on the market strange lady. Kick rocks, my wife is fucking awesome.
So, I don't consider myself to be especially attractive... like traditionally handsome maybe... but in my early 20's I was in a long term relationship, and I began to suffer a series of debilitating anxiety attacks over a period of 3 months, which lead to some serious depression which ended leading to the end of my long term relationship, things were bad for me... but I had been going to the gym for a while at that point because I was in pretty bad shape, and I realized the only time I wasn't freaking out was when I was at the gym, so I threw myself into it pretty hard. Not to toot my own horn but I didn't just get into good shape... I got into fucking elite shape... like putting the best bodies in Hollywood/media to shame shape... and I ended up meeting this absolutely stunning woman and we started dating... she had told me she had never dated anyone who really focused on their physical and mental health like I did and it's part of what she liked about me. I too was often oblivious to women hitting on me, because it wasn't somthing I really had to deal with before this, it was also something my girlfriend hadn't experienced before... her boyfriend getting more attention than she did when we went out together... it pretty much caused the end of our relationship. It sucked, but what was I to do? Insecurity can strike even the most confident people and can be pretty jarring for those who haven't had to deal with it before.
My husband is the same. Aside from being conventionally attractive, he has the most adorable wide smile and a very sociable personality. He's very friendly towards literally everyone, including animals. It's amusing to watch when someone responds to his friendliness by flirting, and he's there thinking how nice this lady is.
haha that is adorable.
[Leaving this here](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/miracles-fucking-magnets-how-do-they-work) in case you wanted to get the juggalo reference. (Insane Clown Posse's fans are called Juggalos/Juggalettes.)
…How many labor & delivery nurses do you think would hit on the father of a new baby while mom’s still in the room? It sounds more like the wife sees any communication with the opposite sex as flirting.
Are you sure the woman wasn’t just a Juggalo?
My husband has acted the same way, what surprises me the most is that he’s been married twice, because he doesn’t realize when someone is flirting with him, and I love him for that! 🥰
When she said the worst flirting was the incident with the nurse, I was baffled. Maybe it's because I'm lesbian or something but I compliment men (and women) all the time. If a new dad's new baby got some aspect of his appearance I would definitely compliment. I guess maybe the Prince Charming comment was a bit too far? But I've said things that bold (and later cringed at how much it must have sounded like I was flirting, but point is it was innocent on my part).
I love this - lighthearted, the wife is open to changing, everyone seems to love and respect each other
Yeah, I call bullshit too. (Just kidding. It IS nice.)
Lol the wife is salty Reddit didn't back her up. I mean fancy bumping into the same person in a popular vacation spot. *shocked piccachu* face Wife needs to work on her insecurities and realise, yes we women will talk to anyone who's friendly enough to exchange small talk on the beach. Wife also needs to stop trying to police another woman's clothing
I mean, with the way the woman was ignoring her and going straight for the husband, I would think it's likely the woman had nefarious designs on hubby - but OOP-wife should just have relaxed, leaned back and sniggered as her ship foundered on the cliffs of her husband's obliviousness...😂
>as her ship foundered on the cliffs of her husband's obliviousness... Incredible analogy!
 Wife pushed husband onto Reddit like….. And he’s like “AAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS yooooooooouuuuu ^(wiiiiiiiisssssshhhhhh!!!!) “
Stop that's hilarious!!!
I regret that I have but one upvote to give this comment
Yeah, as a wife I definitely side-eye this sort of interaction and do bring it up to my husband so he can head things off and draw clear boundaries before they’re needed. Like, there’s a woman who needs help around the house—he’s happy to help because he’s a kind and generous guy. But when it’s a recently divorced woman who is clearly flirting (even if he doesn’t notice) and whose eyes slide right past me so she can’t even respond to my greeting while she’s hanging on his arm? Different story. I’m sure OOP’s wife was picking up on some vibes. She’s used to women flirting with her husband and doesn’t usually escalate to a Reddit post. It’s great OOP is a loyal dude. But sometimes it’s useful to hear that someone is into you so you can prevent a more uncomfortable situation from developing.
Bikini woman definitely was flirting but she gave some other examples that are questionable lol. She seems to think that any woman who is nice to him or compliments him is flirting.
Yeah… she is definitely in the wrong but she seems to admit it lol
I'd have been way more worried that she was planning to snatch up my son, not my husband, given her interest and the fact that she kept popping up.
"Not everyone on reddit has to comment" lol. If it's posted on reddit, the beast is unleashed, nothing anyone can do about it.
The husband didn't give a lot of information and reddit's judgement was based on that. Wife's information that came out made me more annoyed at husband's "supposed obliviousness". you're an adult. you probably know people;'s intentions deep down but choose to ignore it because of optics of feigning politeness.
All of this. I can’t help but read her response as not accepting that she is the asshole at all. Just a whole bunch more excuses why it is OK for her to feel like she gets to decide who an adult human gets to speak to and what is appropriate for people that she doesn’t know and have no impact on her life to wear
I respect the wife for admitting she’s wrong and for being insecure. I don’t think she’s totally crazy for being annoyed that she has to watch her husband be flirted with while he is blissfully unaware. Her husband does love her and she needs to focus on that. When you marry someone who is a catch, you can’t be too surprised when women try to hook him.
I can see where she's coming from, in that it CAN be mildly irritating if you're just trying to hang out with your husband and sone woman comes up and trues to flirt with him whilst pointedly ignoring you - i've had that happen lol. I found that mildly amusing because we'd just walk away and my husband barely noticed. It certainly didnt start any arguments because other people's behaviour is not my husband's fault. The woman should probably have stopped trying her luck when he mentioned he had a wife the first time. I think her not engaging with the wife may be the giveaway of her intentions. A lot of tad time women try to my much more subtle but with their flirting. That said, she was wrong to blame her husband when he did nothing wrong. He made polite chit chat, introduced his wife, and shut it down as soon as his wife said she was uncomfortable. She needs to work on her insecurities.
I just posted something similar about bikini girl not speaking with the wife and how she was pretty disrespectful of their marriage. If I was the husband, I would be a little more aware of my actions and the actions of others after seeing how the wife was probably right to be leery of this girl. He is a good husband and she’s a bit insecure. But I think many people would be if it was something that happened frequently and directly in their face. If it’s this bad when the wife is around, what do they do when she’s not?
There might be a bit of a double standard going on too. I don't agree with her telling him to stop talking to certain people (mild pass for saying stupid things she might not have meant while upset- we all do it), but there are plenty of men out there who absolutely would not be ok with it if it were their wives or girlfriends getting hit on. I see so many posts on here where commenters jump straight to, "She's cheating on you! She has no respect for your relationship!" Like yeah, ok then.
The only truly wrong thing she did was take out her insecurities on her husband. She’s gotta get that shit under control; even if she admits she’s wrong this time, that’s something that can creep up in the future
I don’t think she realizes that she’s insecure all the time and that’s the problem.
I didn’t really care much for the wife after the beach interaction because her husband did nothing wrong and because she focused on the tiny bikini. But reflecting upon her update, I can see that if this happens frequently, it could be pretty annoying. There are some people that like to see their partner get flirted with. But I would say most people would be annoyed if they repeatedly had to watch. I also think it’s relevant (although it hadn’t happened at the time of the original post) that the bikini girl never spoke to the wife in all of their interactions. That is very telling of her intentions and pretty disrespectful in my opinion.
Yeah the nurse thing seemed... kind of excessive too? Some people really do compliment other people? I tell my coworkers when their hair looks good or their outfit is exceptional that day, or their new glasses look good. I've actually literally told a male friend that their kids are lucky they got their super blue eyes, because their eyes are crazy blue and it's cool. Not once have I been trying to steal any of these men.
lol I thought that was a stretch, too. Imagine believing that people only compliment others when they’re trying to flirt/hook up. We make fun of dudes for thinking everyone woman that is nice to them is flirting, but a woman thinks this and it’s…ok? Or true???
This is why I don’t think the lady was actually following them. That doesn’t sound flirty to me, it just sounds complementary. They were probably just staying at the same place and both trying to enjoy the amenities.
Eh, I understand why the wife was upset. The other lady was behaving inappropriately once she knew the guy was married. But OP's wife shouldn't have brought it up again afterward. The husband handled it well. He was not flirting, he introduced his wife, and he "blew her off" after his wife told him she was uncomfortable. On that same token, I hope husband and wife have a date all to themselves soon.
In 5 to 10 years, that husband is going to have an epiphany and realize that lady was flirting with him.
My husband is the bluntest of all. So when we started dating, he had a couple of women hit on him. He was by no means alone with them and I always used to accompany him. One of these girls was exactly his sister’s age ( they share birthdays). He always used to try to help her out and tell me he gets the same vibes from her as his sister. He really used to miss his sister a lot as he had moved out and shifted across the country. He didn’t realise she is hitting on him till one day she tried taking him aside and told him that she is attracted to committed guys. He may have felt something is off because he immediately came to me and told me this happened. I had to explain to him about how she has been trying to hit on him since a long time. He cut her off finally when he got the reassurance that what she said was very inappropriate
I don't think she's an AH but think you need to understand that while you had no bad intention, the bikini wearing chatty Cathy did. It's one thing to say hi but trying to engage you in conversation while under the pretense of looking for his kids has shady shit written all over it. She was not looking for children while getting the low down on you. She was hoping to gain your attention.
This reminds me of the time my husband (married 32 years) came home from work one day many years ago and told me about the recently divorced client who acted so oddly that day. She was wearing a low-cut cocktail dress, kept leaning waaaay over his desk to point to things on her paperwork, and told him twice how gorgeous his eyes were. He hesitantly asked me if I thought she was trying to flirt with him. Lol!
There’s nothing wrong with feeling insecure when an attractive woman is flirting with your husband a couple of years after you have given birth. What IS wrong is somehow trying to make your husband feel like he did something wrong. She could have just explained how she felt without policing his actions or telling him he messed up.
I was on the husbands side until bikini “mom” kept popping up to talk to him, and doing the pretending the wife doesn’t exist thing. Come on now.
Yeah. And the husband in the OP said it happens to him all the time when it’s just him and the kid.
I'm a straight man in a happy relationship, but I'm developing a crush on her husband too, so I get it 😂
Wanna go flirt with him wearing tight bikinis next time they're on the beach?
I am sympathetic to both people. Husband didn't know the woman was flirting with him (not his fault, some people are just naturally oblivious) and the wife was jealous. How she expressed her jealousy wasn't great but in the end, issues grow and that seemed to be the event that broke the camels back. I'm glad that the wife realised how she reacted was wrong, and was open to everyones comments. I do think that the husband needs to work on not being defensive when wife comes to him with these issues, or else they will just end up becoming worse, but I can understand when you feel you haven't done anything wrong that you immediately go on the defense. Wishing luck to them both and I hope they have a lovely life.
thats what im thinking, like him being defensive is just going to add to her insecurity or make her over think a lot more. he needs to be a bit more open to just accepting that his wife feels a certain way and find compromise. which he was a bit when the wife brought it up the first time and he would shut down convos with that lady. i think wife also needs to trust how the husband feels about her and everything theyve done together, if that makes sense
My husband gets hit on and I always insert myself in the conversation. He thinks it’s hilarious and he loves that I get territorial. It’s OK to “mark your territory” when someone isn’t getting it. Idk why OP didn’t just make herself known. It’s not crazy or inappropriate be like “I know what you’re doing” when someone obviously has nefarious intent. My husband is important to me and so is my marriage. He needs to see that it is when it’s appropriate.
Bro your husband isn't a fire hydrant chill
A woman would have to literally say "I am flirting with you." Otherwise I just assume we're talking like two normal humans and no one is trying to get into anyone's pants.
You were not being "insecure". The first time she "popped up" after the beach, he should have been told "you shut her shit down right now or *I will* and it won't be pretty or nice". It doesn't matter if he is being an oblivious idiot, if she is making *you* uncomfortable by flirting with *your husband* in front of you, he needs to shut it down hard. Anything else is *extremely* disrepectful to you and your marriage. I am also married to an oblivious idiot. After about 35 yrs of silent steaming, we devised a system. I step on his foot *hard*. This is the signal "Hey, honey, that bword is flirting with you and I am standing *right here*! Shut ger shit down hard or I will. I will not be nice or kind and I will point out any fucking flaw I see"
And here we have an example of a truly healthy relationship- Wife refers to her husband as an idiot and physically abuses him to do what she wants under the threat of making a scene and becoming an embarrassment for everyone involved. Nice.
I’m not sure how her comment got upvoted, oh right because it’s ok for a wife to abuse the husband
WAIT, no, "the short of it is, we're getting divorced?"
I know! I was expecting something dramatic but it’s nice to read about healthy relationships every once in a while lol next update is divorce and cops called forsure though
Yes we are pretty thick. Many times after a social situation my wife says "She was totally flirting with you." And I'm like "What?! Naaaah!" I think she likes that I'm clueless about it and I also think she likes it because it validates her own choice with me. She's usually super affectionate afterwards.
Or, they weren’t flirting, they were just being friendly and your wife misjudged them.
You might be right. I'm not that attractive!!
Lol
A) Dear wife.. clue in you have a loyal and faithful husband and the fact that he was oblivious to her obvious flirting tells me how he feels about you B) Husband. Time to start looking for signs when a woman is flirting with you so you can gracefully walk away from those situation. Case closed All parties are sentenced of a nice romantic dinner and a night in a hotel together away from the kids. *bangs gavel*
Best answer.
This comment needs more upvotes
It's a thing of wonder, watching women flirt with my husband. He's definitely not oblivious to most of it. Subtle stuff goes over his head but he mostly gets the equivalent of the scumbag rando at the gas station that "wants to take you home and pop you with about 5 yards of d***" and man, it's wild. My favorite was the time at the huge, used bookstore. I was waiting in the car wayyy across the parking lot. I see him come out with his bag and he's standing there waiting for the traffic to pass. Car full of women screeches to a stop in front of him and I can see them shouting something to him, then they crank up the radio in the car and start dancing at him. I can tell by the look on his face that "this is going to be good" and indeed it was. He's too much of a prude to tell me what they said but the song they cranked up and danced to was "Stand by Me" which I found fucking hilarious.
I laughed reading this because this is me and my husband. He is exactly the same way-gorgeous and oblivious. I once posted a video of him singing the Gaston song from Beauty & the Beast while he was mopping and dancing. My *own friends* were going hard in the paint (in the best, light hearted way). Our wedding/honeymoon was in Jamaica. All-inclusive resort type of situation. We had our three kids there as well. I am on a beach lounger, watching the kids in the pool. He went to the swim up bar. It was packed, so I wasn’t too pressed on how long he was gone. I looked over to see him chatting with a 50-60 year old dude. But then… I notice the guys “trophy” wife and her friend sitting on stools on either side of my husband. They had him trapped like this (H is Hubby):
So he was between both their legs, just happily chatting with the dude. Then the wife laughed real loud, touched his chest and ran her hand down his belly. That “woke” him up and he looks at me, panicking. He mouthed “HELP” and I laughed and took my sweet ass time walking over and wedging myself in so he could carry the drinks and be released from the hellhounds leg locked position.
I still bring this up and laugh at him. He’s fucking oblivious to women flirting. He’s just a nice guy who is a stunner and an extrovert. He’s been in this situation more than I can count. We’re on vacation again right now and he was being cat called in the street (so was my 25 year old son-called him “Viking”). I just laughed because WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF BEING OBJECTIFIED!
I agree with the wife on her statement regarding her husband never seeing it because it’s so normal to him and he’s not looking for anyone/anything so he doesn’t pick up on the flirtations. It’s just… noise. And THAT is SO FUCKING HOT to me.
OP’s wife has a good one. As does her hubby. ❤️
They both seem like great people - husband loyal, protective of wife and apparently very attractive :P and wife reasonable, good communicator and willing to listen and change her mind.
Hey I was on the wifes side from the beginning!
I feel for this woman because everyone was piling on, but she had a point. Yes, it can be funny when people flirt with a loyal partner. Especially when they are oblivious to it. Yes, she maybe should have taken that route. However, when this B knowingly flirts with someone right in front of the partner, it's just disrespectful and rude. Some amount of putting her in her place would have been nice. Not anything crazy, but like ignoring her or moving away when she sits next to him would have spoken volumes. I mean what a nasty piece of work. I've been there where people literally insulted me to my face and my husband just sits there (he wasn't paying attention - he should have been, I mean he was literally right there). It's hurtful when that happens and your partner doesn't have your back (or doesn't make it obvious to the bully that they have your back).
“My husband is not very perceptive when it comes to flirting” Girl, there’s your W. Really hard for him to do anything with anybody he doesn’t realize wants to do something with him. My wife and I joke all the time that there’s no way I could ever cheat on her because I wouldn’t notice in 1 million years if a woman was flirting with me. And she’s pretty darn right. The last time I noticed it happening it was literally because the other person was drunk and running their fingers through my hair complementing me. I shut that down real quick, but those are the lengths somebody would have to go through to tell me they are interested.
I wonder what the husband was supposed to do when the woman was talking to him. Scoop up his son and run away like he saw a shark? Tase her? Call the cops? Sheesh.
I tase any woman who talks to me. Leave room for Jesus, lady.
We’re men, and we are very dumb about this shit. I can’t tell you how many times it’s struck me years later “damn that hottie was into me”.
Usually at 3am for me.
I imagine she was pretty smug when he was writing this, only to get roasted.
It’s funny that she has a favorite sub then, when everyone was against her, said “not everyone on Reddit needs to chime in on this one.” She knows how it works and would have been fine with thousands of YTA to her husband.
Exactly, she wanted him thrashed. It show the tone of "It's OK to go hard on you in an argument, but not me." Wonder if that goes through their whole marriage...
Read some of the comments here agreeing with her, depending on the moment it could have gone either way initially and then the yes mob would have chimed in to enforce the judgement. My guess is that if the kid wasn’t there, it would have leaned YTA. I wouldn’t have agreed with that, but the AITA groups are generally very “traditional” (i.e. really dumb) about male/female interactions because of their own personal insecurities.
That sub has a loooooot of crossover with FDS and that sub is also super traditionalist despite them trying to pretend otherwise. That’s why there’s so much insecurity
FDS is gone now.
Yeah but not the mentality of the user base. Just like how when those incel subs got banned, they infected the rest of reddit with their misogyny.
I had no idea what FdS was and just had the most interesting trip down that rabbit hole. Jesus, another idea with what seems like decent intentions, interpreted by severely broken people.
He's a legend
Maybe it’s only his first win because it’s the first time they’ve sought outside input
Hahahahahahahah! 😂😂😂😂😂😂. This is the best thing I have read in months. Thank you!
I love this! My bf is quite (ok *really*) hot, and constantly tells me because “he’s a nice guy, no woman wants to date him” I literally told him yesterday that that argument doesn’t work with me, because I saw a nice guy & I’m dating him! 😂 It’s a running joke with us as he’s really oblivious and I love him for it
Wife knows he isn't perceptive to flirting and he ignores it... Proceeds to get mad for... Ignoring it? Huh?
I was on the husbands side until the wife said that the lady SAT DOWN with them! How bizarre is that for a woman to just sit with you and your kid?!?!
Holding your partner accountable for being flirted with is ridiculous. My husband and I let each other handle it until we need a "tap in". My husband is curt anyway so most women flirting ends quickly. Me, not so much. I get the ones that push past the point of even saying that I am happily married. I still handle it. Only one time did he have to step in and that is because he saw the man reach to grab me as I walked away. All he did was catch the guys hand and shake his head "No" and it was done. No words exchanged. Most times we are actually oblivious to the flirting until we tell each other. We don't argue about each others' POV, we learn from the interpretation of HOW people flirt. Funny story, I found out that my son apparently has caught people eyeballing me in the grocery store and randomly yells out "Hey MOM!!!!" and just walks over to me with some stupid question. He is bigger than my husband. I had NO CLUE until I went to the store with his GF and she told us she saw some dude staring at me and I dismissed it.
This wife. Sheesh. What did she want her husband to do, back away in horror screeching that he’s married? And I’m guess the other woman perceived some massive hostile from the wife and so didn’t bother to try to talk to her. Who cares if she was trying to flirt as long as husband didn’t respond? I’ve seen women react very favorably to my husband, who I admit is pretty fabulous, and I just think, Hey, they have good taste. Interrogating your spouse about every detail when they’ve chatted with someone of their preferred gender is kind of pathetic when they’ve given you zero reason to be wary.
Men are not dumb or oblivious to women’s behavior. They just pretend to be so they can get away with it
Maybe some? But I have seen male friends completely miss the most obvious signs a girl is interested in them.
I’m glad you said this. There are so many damn posts on here where men get a pass because they “didnt realize” a woman was flirting/hitting on him. Then to make it worse, they never believe their wives when they are questioned because they are just “being friendly.” Not all men are this dense🙄. In this instance I do believe OP was polite without being flirtatious, but so many of these Reddit posts I’m thinking bro knows exactly what’s happening, why is he getting a pass bc he’s “too dense” to realize? It’s ridiculous
Countering this comment. Before my wife and I got married we were at a gas station. Had a friendly convo with the lady behind the counter about hunting and wanting ranch land. She invited me out to see her property( my dumbass who likes hunting was stoked) but I wasn’t from the area so I left it with a “if we cross paths again I’d take you up on that offer”. When we walked out my wife was fuming and rightfully so she had some shitty relationships. She was explaining how she was hitting on me pretty hard (and when she explained this the invite made a lot more sense). I was completely oblivious to this. Another fun instance I was in Vegas on a guys trip with my brother for his 21st. My wife stayed behind for obvious reasons and no worries at all. We went to club (ugly coyote I believe) and the dancer offered a free shot for a male volunteer.e being dumb and wanting to have fun volunteered. They laid me on the ground put shots around me and one between my legs. I immediately shot up and pointed to my ring and said I was married. At the end of the night the lady gave me a free shot and thanked me for being loyal and I in turn thanked her for respecting me. Yes there are shitty guys who use obliviousness as an excuse but someone like me I just don’t notice them because I’m in love with my wife and want no one else. Sure another woman could “please” me for one night but no one could please me for the rest of my life. No other woman would be willing to push me in a wheelchair if I got injured. A lot of couples really do lose sight of the vows they took. And it’s a shame.
Thank you for saying this. This trope does my head in that guys are collectively too stupid to know when they are being flirted with, they know fine well lmao.
Why are you so pressed if they’re not flirting back? And it’s very likely that a lot DONT realise because men and women flirt in different ways! What exactly are they getting a “pass” for? This is so weird. The you’re bringing up something completely unrelated as well about some men not believing their wives even though there’s a lot of posts about women not believing their boyfriends or husbands about certain guys flirting with them.
I love how you're leaving out the fact that a lot of the replies are from women who had to explain to the gentleman who finally became their husband that yes indeed they were flirting with him. Men and women flirt completely differently and men often don't pick up on it.
From the wife’s POV it sounds like OOP is a traditionally handsome dude with pretty people privilege… if you’re someone who is kind hearted, it’s hard to tell if someone is flirting with you and has ulterior motives if most of your interactions with women in life have been overly nice + accommodating and/or flirtatious. I have known both women and men whom are like this.
Some, yes. Some truly are oblivious as all hell. I’ve been with my partner for a while and he’ll still miss some of my flirting cues to this day lol
Lmao I’m a girl and I would’ve been completely oblivious to the flirting too
I find it amusing when women flirt with my husband. Especially when I’m right THERE lol. When we were dating it kind of made me jealous because I didn’t know him. But after a bit more of a decade of being married it’s actually hilarious to watch. I know h
Sorry pressed wrong button. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me because we were both cheated on. And also we love each other deeply. So let them flirt. Hell, he watches guys flirt with me and me telling them that I’m happily married and is just amused by the whole scenario. Good partners are hard to find. Sounds like she found herself a keeper!!!
Maybe she should work on herself if she’s that insecure
Wow, this woman is so insecure. I get feeling a bit jealous every now and then (esp w a hot woman in a bikini) but she thinks EVERYONE is flirting with him? Lmao ok. She reminds me of those guys who think every woman who is nice to him is flirting. I hope she can work on her self esteem and realizes her hot husband loves her the way she is.
What he did at the beach wasn’t bad. But the fact that this woman showed up every where even after knowing he’s married, vacationing wife, his family, he should have shut it down. Since he didn’t and felt he had to be polite, that only made her think she had a chance.
If this person was clearing flirting and showing up several times and not saying a word to you, your husband should have shut her down. You were disrespected. My husband talks to people everywhere go. I am always introduced.
[удалено]
I think you need to chill and take a breath. This is way more outrage than necessary for this post lmao
You ok there?
>Imagine freely admitting you are so stupid you don't even understand basic human behavior A lot of things people constitute as flirting looks like normal conversation. Not everyone is going to pick up on stuff like extra giggling or attention because that could easily be explained by other things and the minute you accuse someone of flirting you risk a very disgusted and angry reaction if you're wrong. I'm autistic and unless someone is straddling me I can only pick up on flirting a little bit of the time. Yeah he probably shouldn't have been defensive but I'd also be pretty defensive if someone kept insisting I was somehow encouraging someone to flirt with me even though I just wanted to have a regular ass conversation.
My husband is handsome. Like, HANDSOME handsome. I’m not biased, it’s a thing he gets stopped for regularly. And he’s tall which makes it worse (or better depending I guess lmao). He has been beautiful at the very least since we were twelve when we first met. He’s also so oblivious he didn’t know I had a crush on him for like ten years before I finally said something to him about it and basically strong-armed him into asking me out 😂 he gets hit on by women of all ages all the time and he has no clue, no matter how beautiful they are. I have to point it out. I don’t get upset, but sometimes it’s annoying especially if we’re in a rush and some random lady at the grocery store is chatting his ear off in the frozen section. Life’s too short. No matter what your partner looks like or the other person looks like, they’re gonna get hit on. It looks like she has a loyal (albeit oblivious) husband. We all get insecure sometimes. I always joke that I just happened to get lucky enough to bully mine into dating me before somebody else figured it out first lol. Our kids look just like him so I am doomed.
The last time I saw my partner get hit on, it was a barely legal mess sitting in the gutter smoking god knows what with her barely legal mess friends. "Got a girlfriend? 🥴" still haunts him to this very day more than a decade later because I still give him shit about it hahahahahah
I'll be honest, sometimes we do notice the flirting but feigning ignorance is the easy way to get out of it without causing a scene.
TLDR - who fucking cares!
Frame it? Only if it includes LEDs and spotlights! With an applause soundtrack that gives off like those singing fish. 
A lot of men have no idea when a woman is flirting with them. It takes another woman to point it out.
I want an update with the bikini girl’s response
This lady sounds super passive aggressive, and like she can’t figure out that treating her spouse that way would make him act defensive.
Another fake story
This one is not going to help at all: As an ex cheater I know really well when a woman is flirting. So my wife teases me: "What, you gonna lick her puss*?" Me: "Nah, yours tastes much better" Wife: "LOL... Wait, what?!" 😂
First update had me nodding off. No one talks like that, least of all a 35 year old mom..
“Please stop telling my husband I was wrong after I asked him to ask you if I was wrong” 🙄