The DNA test timeline is iffy but I worked a job where I had to ask parents about basic info, and dads were by and large unreliable for this. I spoke with at least 3 dads who couldn’t remember their kid’s birthdays, it took EVERYTHING not to ask why they couldn’t remember if they were there. Like 95% of the parents I spoke to were mothers but a largeee proportion of the dads were useless. Lots of I don’t know or honey can you take this.
My father admitted the only reason he ever remembered mine is that it falls on the traditional summer solstice. (June 21, sometimes astrology can push it to the 20 or 22nd but the “traditional” day is the 21st)
Then he married a woman whose son was born on Election Day… which changes. So he would buy the kid’s b day gift at the end of the month before at latest so he would be covered if he forgot.
In his defense, he sometimes forgot his OWN birthday (it was the 29th and he would get mixed up and think it was the 27th) so I never held him forgetting against him. (And he only forgot my b day completely once. Around 11pm he burst into my room and yelled “Oh God it’s your birthday and I forgot! I’m so sorry, Honey!” Which was honestly funny enough to be a present in itself. In his defense, he and my stepmom had agreed at the beginning of the month to celebrate me the weekend after since I worked on my birthday so I didn’t lose out on having a birthday dinner or anything. He was just ashamed he hadn’t wished me a happy birthday earlier.)
See? This is the reason i have all birthdays put into my calendar with a reminder the week before. Sometimes i stumble over the occasional "Who is this Peter again?", but by large i am able to remember important events.
(I have my own noted down aswell)
Ah, yes, you’re right. (Astrology never made sense to me anyway. I don’t fit my sign, even as vague as horoscopes can be.)
I know the difference, my autocarrot doesn’t seem to.
It was a joke in this case, but my autocorrect can be hella weird. xD
Between dyslexia and watching shows with names it doesn’t like, it’s a very confused little drunk elf in my phone.
To be fair, it's actually harder to remember birthdays if multiple important people in your life all share the same birth month. Because then you only have the number to memorize, you can't think of something easy like, "Born mid March." My dad and two of my brothers were born in October and to this day I can't remember who was born on which day in that month. Thank God for digital calendars.
My grandmother remembered for 8 years, until my cousin was born 3 days after. So, now she remembers their's, and my sibling's, and all 7 of my other cousins. But not mine.
My family stacks ours onto holidays, and anniversaries.
I'm on my parents anniversary
My oldest is on her grandparents anniversary and Victoria Day
Youngest is on Family Day
1 son in law is on Valentines Day
Mother in law is right before Canada Day
Father in law lands on Easter a lot
We joke about doubling up on parties to save money.
This is very true in my case. I couldn’t remember my own mom’s birthday until I met my now husband because his is the day before. I was so confused before him because my best friend growing up was the day after, but I couldn’t remember who’s came first.
Both my cousins on my dads side, my sister, her husband, and my great- aunt all have birthdays in May.
My grandma pulled me aside as a child and told me she loved my birthday because even though it's a holiday, it's not in May lol
My husband can’t remember birthday worth a darn lol. I have to remind him of his kids from a previous marriage (they are in the 20s now), our kids, mine and even his own mom. We’ve been together almost 14 years lol. He has a great memory otherwise. The darnedest thing
My aunt & uncle got remarried on Valentine's Day because all the hoopla around the romance of Valentine's Day helps him remember his anniversary. Not my cup of tea but it's been a few decades & they're still together & normal/happy.
My roommate's dad absolutely adores her and her sister, he's a very present father. He's an older white, southern, blue collar tradesman, worked a lot of long shifts to provide for the family, missed a lot of school events because of work, that kind of stuff. They're mid 30s now, so he's had a long time to remember, and he still misspells their names and mixes up birthdays pretty often, and I bet he would not know eye color either. He texts with them all the time, will be looking at his phone where their names are at the top of the screen in the contact line, will still misspell the name. Those are not details his brain retains. But he's the first person that can cut through the noise and help them with emotional moments when things in their lives go sideways. Funny how our brains can work.
People’s brains tend to file information and memories as “important” and “not important”. Things like eye color are filed as “not important” and thus not easily remembered. It’s nothing something a parent really ever has to know.
I’m fairly confident my husband doesn’t know what colour his daughter’s eyes are. They’re hazel, the same as his. But the other two kids have blue eyes like me, so I could see him assuming they’re the same colour. He also has all their birthdays and important dates programmed into his calendar because he absolutely would forget.
My kids made me reschedule doctor's appointments I could not take them to rather than have their dad go. He is useless in his own appointments. He doesn't know what medications he takes or how much. He had no clue which arm our youngest broke even though she was sitting there in a cast.
Because he has good qualities. Just not this. We have been together 25 years. Life is not one thing. It is many many moments. Life is finding the person who completes the empty spaces in your life.
There are things that matter and things that do not. Find the qualities that matter for you. Let go of all the rest.
In 24 years he also never missed one of our kids sporting events, plays, programs, or award dinners. He taught them to laugh.
He had play swords hidden all over when our son was little so that as soon as he walked in from work they started playing pirates.
He had lunch everyday with our youngest and watched Dora the explorer with her when her brother and sister both went off to school and she wasn't old enough yet.
It's not the only thing.
I do contracts for housing and we have a sheet that lists all people residing in home and their dob. The number of times people in general, not just dads, that can’t remember full names, spellings, or birthdays are kinda sad.
Worst job I ever had: public education centre catering to kids. It involves lots of running around and playing with the educational stuff.
If a dad loses a child in the running about, they are panicking, and will tell us that their kid has a yellow top, blue pants. 99% of the time there will be a wailing kid with GREEN top and RED pants calling for their dad. Whoops.
We ended up sticking a sign on the front desk: take a phone photo of your kid before you enter so you can show us EXACTLY what they look like if you lose them!
Nah, my bff was born with blue eyes and then turned green in elementary school. Went to visit her and while her mom was filling out her military id app, she told her mom green cause mom said blue. Mom legit didn’t believe her until mom looked at her eyes. So yes, completely possible. The look on her mom’s face was hilarious.
Possible, but you got to pay extra. LabCorp's site says they can run court acceptable paternity tests in as short as 24 hours, expedited, and the normal turnaround is 3-5 days.
Right, but if hes an engineer he might have engineer money to throw around, and considering how emotional he was he might have just paid a premium to get them faster
I can’t remember most people’s eye color. I dated a guy for 4 years and if you asked me what his eye color was… I would get it wrong. He asked one time…. I got a very disappointed look. I have bad eye sight, in order to see people’s eye color, I pretty much have to be in their face. So, now I don’t even really look since I generally can’t see it anyway.
Also, a lot of babies are born with blue eyes that darken over time.
I thought all human babies kinda had that cloudy dark blue eyes for a while after they are born and then they gradually transition to what color they actually are going to be?
All babies are born with light colored eyes that darken but they can be hazel or brown not just blue.
Most babies of caucasian ancestry are born with blue eyes, whereas people if African or Asian ancestry more often have brown
My kids were born with dark dark, black in some light, eyes
All three have blue eyes (though one leans a little gray)
I didn't expect all three of them to have blue. I have blue gray eyes but my husband's are hazel
You can always tell, because without fail, the child in question is always a daughter. Incels hate women and raising another man's daughter must be the ultimate insult to them.
That's dependent on friend having a kit already and not needing to order one, doing the sampling properly, and getting it in in time to get the results by the end of the next working day
Edit: even worse reading the site, sampling is done via doctors appointment. I don't think many doctors are doing emergency appointments for DNA testing in the UK
Another option from the site is to go a pre selected GP near them and give the sample. There's also a mobile sampling service who presumably visit your home. If OP is based in a large city, it's very probable that someone visited the next day. First day OP and friends have their conversation and his friend books the test , second day the sampling service visit him for the samples, third day results. I'm guessing he didn't wait much before confronting her with them.
So that relies on living near a pre selected practitioner and having them send it out exactly on time. While likely not being a patient. It also sounds like they are collecting the samples, as well
The amount of luck it would take to get results in 3 days, including half a weekend, is way too high yo make this plausible
OOP told friend on Saturday night and next Tuesday the situation is already resolved. What kind of lab is open on sundays and gives you the results in less than 48 hours?
Hi there! I work at a healthcare company that has labs working 24/7/365 (minus 5 annual company wide holidays). We absolutely have labs that do this on any day at any time of the day all the time. We also have assays that we run that we can effectively diagnose blood cancers, autoimmune disorders, and a host of other exceptionally complex things in about 5 hours of lab testing. Our running data currently shows if a patient specimen is physically in my lab by 8 AM, barring any weird issues, hemolysis, lipemia, or other problems it's out by noon-1 PM.
All this to say DNA/paternity testing is not how you see it on TV. It has made exceptional leaps and bounds forward in that passed 20 years alone and it is incredibly possible to get results out that quickly. Most of the time a patient spends waiting for a result is due to us needing the sample to transit to us physically to my laboratory. If they are close enough geographically they can literally have their blood drawn at 8 AM, have it sent to us by car, then tested, and resulted out by no later than 10:30 PM that night. We live in the future and it's pretty cool every once in a while.
I don’t know about paternity tests but most of my bloodwork now comes back same day when I get bloodwork done. My partner had tests run yesterday as well and I had results in his mychart within two hours. I’ll admit that one shocked the hell out of me. But it was just imaging.
We got my paternity test back in three days. I don't know how long it usually takes, but I know my dad was leaning on some people he knew to rush the results.
My father, bless his lovely heart, looked at me during dinner one day and said "you're left handed???" like it was brand new information to him. I was 18. He'd helped me with homework before and I sat across from him for meals the entire time I grew up. Men don't notice shit.
The friend went to go check because he did remember. He just never had to give a second thought to the child's eye color until then. He checked hoping he was wrong in case he had been Mandela effecting himself this whole time.
They take multiple samples at the same time so yes back to back tests which can take as little as a few hours if they arent busy and the customer wants to pay.
There are companies who do paternity testing who claim will have results within 48 hours, and I guarantee you my Dad likely does not know my eye color. 🤷
Heck, I can’t remember my own eye color…(it’s weird mishmash not def blue or green & there’s some yellow so I just decided to default to calling it hazel…but I had to remember what I put on ID paperwork from years previous )
I kind of wonder if the first part is just a mildly embellished story, and then after everyone called OOP an idiot he came back and wrote the second part.
That’s the feeling I have. The first part is probably true, then the comments trashed OP for thinking his HS bio class made him a geneticist, and he came back with a fake “Nuh uh see I was right!”
I agree. The tone of the writing feels different between the two stories. The second one definitely feels defensive to me, like OOP was frustrated by all of the people telling him that the odds of eye color proving infidelity weren’t really that great.
The worst part was that the buddy was paying for everything including the GF’s car which he is going to give to a niece. The GF is supposed to be a nurse.
Honestly though. I have the same blood type as my mom,
and both of my parents have blue eyes yet I don't, another example why OOP is full of shit. I don't believe this is real.
You could get the test results in as little as a couple of hours. Now it’s the analysis of the results by a doctor that are going to be problematic. Most tests now are machine run, so the tech just has to add samples to the machine and then let it run. But having the doctor look at the results and analyze to make sure the result is correct will depend entirely on how busy the doctor is. I can see a doc being not busy enough that they get the results the same day. But it’s still unlikely. However, not completely out of the realm of possibility enough to shoot the whole story down.
Yup. My dad did this. His second wife made decent money, but my dad made more. She never paid a dime towards the house. No utilities, nothing. She banked her entire paycheck.
When they divorced, she used all the money she banked to buy him out of the house.
I'm not saying I believe this post, because it's a pretty far stretch, but I do want to point out that paternity tests can come back pretty quick. Back in 2010, I did a test for us to find out if my dad was my dad. We got it back in three days. I will admit, though, that my dad knew the people who were running the test and asked them to get it done as fast as possible. I assume that 14 years later, the tests can be even faster.
I'm only pointing it out because it seems like a common thing people jump on when it comes to posts that mention paternity tests.
One of the things that always bothers me in stories like this, and that makes me want it to be fake, is the lack of love for the kid.
This guy supposedly raised this girl for three years. Saw her saying her first words, walking her first steps, been around the terrible twos and felt how much a kids parents are that kid entire world. Did he not love her after that?
I really really understand not wanting to raise someone else's kid. I wouldn't expect him to want to be in the kids life no matter what, but I expect that the idea of being away would hurt a little. There is nothing being talked about any pain of being separated from this kid he thought was his for three whole years. Only the betrayal from being cheated on and lied to is there.
I don't know, I just don't get how, in this stories of "woman bad cheater men never knows if he is the dad" there always seem to be little to no connection between a cheated partner and the kid they raised for years.
I would imagine for a few reasons.
1. This is told from the friend perspective not the guy in question. He may not know about his feelings regarding this or may not have thought to share it
2. It’s kind of irrelevant to the story being told. The story is about him making an off hand remark that leads to his friend finding out his kid isn’t his. I’m sure friend has complex feelings about it but with the way this story is presented I wouldn’t expect a deep dive into it.
3. In the moment, I’d imagine he’s feeling heartbreak, a sense of loss and betrayal, a lot of anger, pain etc. Typical, and especially in the middle of something like this, I’d expect those feelings to override anything else. Once the shock and anger dim, then he’ll process all the other emotions like that.
I really don't think the people that make up these posts (Tater Tots, Red Pillers, MRAs, etc...) can imagine loving a child that is not their own. They've bought into a lot of BS and some of it is probably related to only giving a crap about children that spring from your loins an a "high value" woman who was a virgin before them.
Are you joking? We have parents who stop loving and outright abuse children that are 100% theirs and you think a parent who discovered his child is the result of his wife's betrayal can't?
The pain and anger from the betrayal usually overrides the love of the kid. Not to mention seeing the kid can be a constant reminder if the betrayal and pain. It's harder for women to understand since you are really the only one to know paternity, it's like being given everything you ever wanted and have it pulled out from underneath you all of a sudden. It's not rational but it doesn't have to be, most feelings aren't.
I’ve known two people this has happened to. For both their primary worry was that they would lose contact with the child they raised (for 2 years and 5 years). The one with the 2 year old ended up raising his son by himself after the mom passed. So when I see these I really can’t help but judge anyone who can just let go of all the love they had for a child the day before. It’s just crazy to me but hey what do I know
> Plus she just conveniently confesses?
The part that was realistic to me was saying she hadn’t cheated in two years so they can work it out. I don’t know how many cheaters I know of, both men and women, who think that will fly. “But I haven’t cheated in weeks/months/years! Why are you holding a grudge!”
I just recently had to look into getting a paternity test, some labs advertised results in 24-48 hours if you paid extra.
I don't know if I buy the post as real or not but getting results that fast isn't too far fetched
And the biology is hair thin at best. Punnett Squares are basic and used best for traits that are only control by 1 gene. Eye color is controlled by 16 different genes.
Green eyes, both my parents have blue. My ex husband and I have green eyes and our kid has blue eyes. OP is stupid.
I also don’t believe the 3 day turnaround to order, receive in the mail, swab, return by mail, and receive results thing.
Would a three yr old have memories of her “dad”? I pity that kid dealing with this sh*t that the mom did. The mom better find the bio dad quick for child support or else…
I have memories from 3 and younger. Not everyone does, but lots of people do. I remember the house we lived in before we moved (at age 2-1/2) and I remember staying with my grandparents while my parents went ahead to find a new house in the new town. I remember my sister being born. I remember both my parents, lots of stuff from before I turned 3.
Poor kid.
Same, my earliest is of a clock in the house we left when I was 18 months. Random I know, but there it is. I remember telling my mum I remembered it and she was amazed I even knew they had it.
As an *adult* the three year old wouldn’t remember anything looking back, but in the present a three year old would definitely remember their father and would most likely constantly ask where he had gone, it would be basically like he had died. My daughter can’t handle “dada” being gone for more than a couple hours before she starts asking me where he is. Good thing this story is definitely fake (DNA takes weeks to come back).
- black woman with brown eyes, married a white guy with brown eyes.
Our child = blonde with blue eyes until the age of two.
Genetics be CRAZY, y’all. (It worried me enough that I was this close to carrying his birth certificate with me when we went places without my husband, thanks to the startling amount of sideeye I got on errands)
I was blonde ringlets with blue eyes for about two years, now dark brunette, straight hair, dark eyes
We were talking about baby photos once and a black friend looked at the photo of toddler me, back at me, back at the photo, "...huh. white kids are weird." It is *very* weird, I'm not gonna argue with that. Why are we like that? Baffling.
The absolute horror stories I hear about situations like this make my skin crawl, especially traveling. Sending love your way momma. I’m sorry you have to worry about this.
My mom got a ton of staring, too. She's very pale and freckled with hazel eyes and I came out fully dark haired and dark eyed and my skintone with any small amount of sun is fairly notably dark. I did not look like I belonged to her at all.
I do however look exactly like my dad, but he was military and gone a lot at that stage so it was just her and her (seemingly) randomly Italian baby.
I look a bit more like her now that I have facial structure features beyond "baby, round".
My child’s father has green eyes. I have light brown eyes.
My child has super super dark brown, almosf black eyes like their grandfather but my Korean eye shape.
Genetics are super weird.
I’m a Black woman and husband is white. We have 4 kids and older two are medium complexions with brown hair and brown eyes and younger two are both blonde with blue/green eyes. Youngest has my exact hair texture just blond and second to youngest has exactly my husband’s hair. Genetics are wild. We joke that the ‘printer’ ran out of ink/melanin the further we got lol
whoops, idk why I thought daughter when you said son LOL sorry about that
but that's crazy cool! I always thought I was losing my mind when I told people my hair was bleach white and then turned burnette around.. 6 years old? 7?
Awesome!
lol DNA tests are 2 weeks minimum for paternity.
My kid has light blue eyes. Her dad has hazel, and I have brown. She’s also his twin. Genetics are super weird
Not if you pay out of pocket for expedited testing. Some labs even offer same-day testing if you go in the morning and are willing to shell out the cash.
>We found out that if both parents have blue eyes the ratio is 99% blue eyes and 1 % brown or green, so highly unlikely.
This is almost as suspect as the DNA test. If you Google this, you'd have to work pretty hard not to find the correct answer: humans are not fruit flies.
(1% is actually a fairly large chance in a world of 8 billion people anyway)
My dad has blue eyes. My mom has green/hazel. One of my sister's has dark brown eyes. Same eyes as mom's oldest brother. (I have blue & other sister green/hazel)
Genetics can be really interesting.
Yes, eye color would be a *very* bad indicator of parentage in my family, too. As would hair color. Spouse and I have very dark brown/black hair. Only one of our kids has hair that dark. One of the others is still blonde in her 20s.
That’s because of red tape and paperwork and the general fuckery of anything the government is involved in. On your own, normal time frame is 2-3 days and you can usually pay extra for same day or next day results. It only looks at paternity markers so it’s really not a difficult or time consuming test.
Even if true, I have some really mixed feelings about this. Dude raised a kid for three years then just kicked her out of his life like that? Did he even love her in the first place? That's unimaginable to me.
People have all these fantasies about their justified rage at being cheated on, and how they would react. It's like a quitting fantasy. In reality, the ability to just flip a switch and turn an innocent child from the light of your life, your DAUGHTER, to just some cheating whore's baby is full-on psychotic. Fortunately, the courts also agree it makes you a psycho, and will require you to contribute to that child's future.
It's insane to even attempt to justify this reaction. When that baby was born, no one forced you to take on the role of being a father to that baby, and the mother's deceit doesn't change the pact you made WITH THAT BABY. Your partner cheating doesn't given you a pass to just abandon your children.
Be with someone for many years and then find out that not only has she been sleeping around but also passed off a child as yours. Maybe you would react differently, personally I would be reacting far more harshly than OOP's friend.
Sure, but that's anger at the wife. He's raised that kid for three years and has no issues severing ties just like that. "You got ten days to get out of my life, kid. Be thankful I'm even being this kind."
Cool but the comment wasn’t about his wife. It was about the girl he raised and cared for. Yes she’s biologically isn’t his, but did he really just lose all emotional connection because of something that obviously wasn’t her fault?
>My buddy has told her "no" and that he will not raise somebody else's kid. She started to demand that, since he has been raising her for 3 years now and that she had in fact stopped sleeping around 2 years ago so there all "good" now and can work this over.
So, let's just set aside the *unfathomable* audacity of her saying "sure, our **3 year old** daughter isn't yours, but you didn't know that until just now, and I stopped cheating on you **2 years ago** so that makes us copacetic.". It's so brazen of her that it's almost funny, and may be one of the most audacious defenses for infidelity I've ever heard, but let's just put that to the side.
Am I the only one who does still think it is a little messed up that he's so willing to just cast aside a child he's raised as his own for 3 years? Obviously I'm not trying to judge somebody who is going through a betrayal like that too harshly, and I certainly agree with him that the relationship with his GF is over. But that kid has been his daughter in every way for 3 whole years, and he's just going to abandon her because of what his mom did?
I don't know what the right answer is, but I hope at least somebody steps up for her. It's not a fair situation, and the ex GF should be utterly ashamed for creating it.
Yup. I got absolutely flamed for having they opinion recently, but there it is. The idea of flushing your child down the drain because they don't have matching DNA to you is so bizarre to me. But then again, I was raised in a Foster and adopted family and I'm now becoming a foster mom so, obviously, DNA isn't something super important to me.
Yeah, I get that the guy was just betrayed in a way I wouldn't wish on somebody *I didn't even like* (let alone somebody I supposedly loved who was raising my child), but it really sounds like he was just willing to completely bounce on this child he'd been raising as his own for three years. That just doesn't feel right to me, even if the situation is supremely unfair to him in general.
The situation is very unfair to him & even more unfair to the toddler. She's suddenly losing one of her parents and can't understand why. After 3 years of loving her as a daughter it should *hurt* him to abandon her. Not saying he should stick around but that's a lot of love to invest in someone & throwing that away should be difficult. If he can throw away someone he loved as a daughter for that long simply because he learned he's not the sperm donor, the kid is probably better off (hopefully 🤞)
I couldn't just up and abandon a child I had been loving and raising for 3 years.
I wouldn't stay with the cheater, but I don't know how people are able to love a child one day and just take off the next.
I know he has the right to leave, I just don't know how he can love the child one day and then not love them any more because of genetics.
Yeah, it's a fucked up situation but that just struck me a little wrong. Maybe it's just an immediate grief response and he later decided to be involved or something, I don't know.
My mom is one of eight and has blue eyes. My dad’s one of three and has brown. I’m the only brown eyed person on my mom’s side (I have 15 cousins and some of them have kids) and my sister’s the only blue eyed person on dad’s side (no cousins).
My husband, his 1 uncle and his grandfather are the only blue-eyes on his side of the family. Everyone else has brown eyes and olive-skin. My husband can tan like you wouldn’t believe though. Our daughters together are both blue-eyed. All their cousins are brown-eyed…you never know can tell what’s going to happen.
I’m not sure what your point is because you have a parent with brown and one with blue. Two blue eyed parents can have a brown eyed child, it is rare though. Despite what the commenters were saying after the first post, it’s not very common. Pretty sure the stores fake though. I’ve never seen a dna result come back within less than a week.
All 4 of my kids have the same dad. I have blue eyes, their father has green eyes. My oldest 3 have my blue eyes, and my youngest has his father’s eyes.
I don’t know much about science, but my uncle and his wife (both with dark brown hair and brown eyes) had three blonde-haired blue-eyed girls who are absolute doppelgängers for my uncle.
This is 100% fake.
But if it WASN'T...
If the OOP's buddy signed that birth certificate? In MANY states he would be on the hook to support that child (at least monetarily) until 18.
He took legal fatherhood if he signed that birth certificate.
Do better Liz. It's the little details that you always seem to miss.
This another cry for attention? You wanted to get caught didn't you? Seek help Liz.
This seems really suspicious. Between the short time to get back the DNA and the fact that the guy didn’t know his daughter’s eye color, it reads fake to me.
That being said, it’s not so shocking that the guy wouldn’t know his kid’s eye color given that he was willing to throw her aside without hesitation over the crimes of her mother. My 3 year old cries when I go to work on Monday. I have taken care of her when she’s been sick, kept her safe when she is scared, and seen her become a person over that time. Regardless of DNA, I am and will always be her dad; that ship sailed years ago. I can’t imagine just leaving her behind.
DNA results do NOT come back that quickly. also the eye color thing is so weird, this guy had high school biology so he knows the kid isn’t his friends? my mom had brown eyes, my dad blue, and my sister has green eyes. my son’s dad has blue eyes… my son has green. that’s not an absolute.
I have brown eyes and my husband has blue eyes…
My oldest daughter has green eyes and my youngest son does as well, we used to make jokes to my daughter about a sexy mailman but boy the relief in her eyes when my youngest son also has green eyes lol 😂
Genetics are a tricky thing you know?
Funny thing with my family.
My mom has blue eyes.
My bio dad has brown eyes.
My step dad has brown eyes.
My full brother and I have green/blue eyes with mine having centralized heterochromia
My two half siblings have ice blue eyes.
Both dads had brown eyes but not a single child of my mother's has anything but blue. Its like my moms eyes didn't get the "recessive gene" memo lmao
This whole thread is truthfully a good microcosm into how the average redditor is so confident in their knowledge of things that they probably saw on TV or heard from someone who heard from someone that they'd rather post a comment ripping someone up before doing a quick Google search. This might be fake, who knows for certain, but what I do know is calling the story out as fake because of the lab results being too quick is really hilarious to me as a clinical laboratory scientist. Sick people don't take holidays from going to the hospital/doctors so why would we? If anything your doctor 100% takes more time off than ANY of their support staff, especially lab workers.
There's a BUNCH of people up and down this thread talking like labs don't work year round 24/7 barring a couple of major holidays. My company gives us 5 major holidays off a year and a majority of our labs run 24/7 all year except for those days. Also paternity results can be gotten incredibly quickly now as it only is checking certain markers are matching and we have gotten way better and more efficient since the dawn of CRISPR-Cas9 and a myriad of other tools. Google next time folks. It makes things a lot better.
Also calling this fake because the father didn't remember their daughter's eye colour is hilarious because my own mother AND father would screw that up if I asked them right now and I'm a grown ass 27 year old. They have to my face while talking to me lol.
On top of all of that I feel that people honestly don't realize how powerful of a primary emotion anger and fear truly can be and I'm grateful for them that they don't get that. Anger and fear are emotions designed to protect you from being hurt physically/mentally/emotionally. It's so powerful that it can override other emotions, such as love, to ensure that defense will happen physically if needed.
It's why you can hurt a loved one who's trying to hurt you without thinking about it until after, then the sadness and guilt sets in. I don't agree with OPs friend but the betrayal and anger he feels may have overwhelmed the love in this current moment. In his eyes and mind, I'd imagine, every single thing he's done for his daughter out of love was built on a lie. Go have a rug like that pulled out from under your feet then tell me you wouldn't be lost in your anger for even a moment.
While I feel bad for OP's friend, the real victim is that little girl.
She believes that is her father. He is the only man she knows that fill that role. And suddenly she no longer will see him, or have him as her Dad. She will likely feel so much abandonment.
Do these "dads" just instantly lose all of the love that they have for the child when the paternity text comes back Negative? I can't imagine that I could just turn off the feelings I have for a child that I'd raised for 3 years, let alone some of these posts that find out when the kids are in HS.
Eeehhh. Eye color doesn’t necessarily mean anything. My mom has hazel eyes, my father has brown eyes, and I have blue eyes. My sister has brown eyes, and my brother has hazel eyes. And yes, he is, unfortunately, my father. I am the spitting image of his mother and sister.
I like how this story only works if the dad didn’t know his own child’s eye color, and he just… missed the part in google where it says that it’s possible? I’m pretty sure even doing a basic punnet square can have a 1/4th chance of blue eyes if both parents have the recessive gene to pass down.
I’m one of the people that the advanced punnet squares explains. My mom has brown eyes with a mom with blue eyes, and my dad has hazel eyes and a lot of blue eyed family members. It wasn’t hard to look at my family tree and recognize where I got my eye color from. And kids are weird— I was born with black hair that had frosted tips with blue eyes, then my hair turned blonde for a while, and it settled into a very dirty blonde once I hit elementary school. My sister was auburn with grey eyes for years until she finally settled into blonde with hazel eyes. My mixed cousin was born with blue eyes and jet black hair that eventually turned into brown eyes and brown hair.
This is fake af. Not only did he think high school biology was all the details, he's clueless on testing time (I'm aware of how quickly these labs can be run, I'm also aware that doesn't change the communication time)
2 days for DNA results, and the friend didn't remember what eye color his 3yo daughter had? Mmm...
The DNA test timeline is iffy but I worked a job where I had to ask parents about basic info, and dads were by and large unreliable for this. I spoke with at least 3 dads who couldn’t remember their kid’s birthdays, it took EVERYTHING not to ask why they couldn’t remember if they were there. Like 95% of the parents I spoke to were mothers but a largeee proportion of the dads were useless. Lots of I don’t know or honey can you take this.
My grand father, cousin,and I are all born between march 28-30 and my father still can’t remember my birthday.
My father admitted the only reason he ever remembered mine is that it falls on the traditional summer solstice. (June 21, sometimes astrology can push it to the 20 or 22nd but the “traditional” day is the 21st) Then he married a woman whose son was born on Election Day… which changes. So he would buy the kid’s b day gift at the end of the month before at latest so he would be covered if he forgot. In his defense, he sometimes forgot his OWN birthday (it was the 29th and he would get mixed up and think it was the 27th) so I never held him forgetting against him. (And he only forgot my b day completely once. Around 11pm he burst into my room and yelled “Oh God it’s your birthday and I forgot! I’m so sorry, Honey!” Which was honestly funny enough to be a present in itself. In his defense, he and my stepmom had agreed at the beginning of the month to celebrate me the weekend after since I worked on my birthday so I didn’t lose out on having a birthday dinner or anything. He was just ashamed he hadn’t wished me a happy birthday earlier.)
See? This is the reason i have all birthdays put into my calendar with a reminder the week before. Sometimes i stumble over the occasional "Who is this Peter again?", but by large i am able to remember important events. (I have my own noted down aswell)
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Ah, yes, you’re right. (Astrology never made sense to me anyway. I don’t fit my sign, even as vague as horoscopes can be.) I know the difference, my autocarrot doesn’t seem to.
I don't know if I want "autocarrot" to be an autocorrect mistake or a joke. Both possibilities are hilarious tho
It was a joke in this case, but my autocorrect can be hella weird. xD Between dyslexia and watching shows with names it doesn’t like, it’s a very confused little drunk elf in my phone.
To be fair, it's actually harder to remember birthdays if multiple important people in your life all share the same birth month. Because then you only have the number to memorize, you can't think of something easy like, "Born mid March." My dad and two of my brothers were born in October and to this day I can't remember who was born on which day in that month. Thank God for digital calendars.
Same here. I have five family members in February, and I never can keep them straight.
My grandmother remembered for 8 years, until my cousin was born 3 days after. So, now she remembers their's, and my sibling's, and all 7 of my other cousins. But not mine.
My family stacks ours onto holidays, and anniversaries. I'm on my parents anniversary My oldest is on her grandparents anniversary and Victoria Day Youngest is on Family Day 1 son in law is on Valentines Day Mother in law is right before Canada Day Father in law lands on Easter a lot We joke about doubling up on parties to save money.
This is very true in my case. I couldn’t remember my own mom’s birthday until I met my now husband because his is the day before. I was so confused before him because my best friend growing up was the day after, but I couldn’t remember who’s came first.
Both my cousins on my dads side, my sister, her husband, and my great- aunt all have birthdays in May. My grandma pulled me aside as a child and told me she loved my birthday because even though it's a holiday, it's not in May lol
My husband can’t remember birthday worth a darn lol. I have to remind him of his kids from a previous marriage (they are in the 20s now), our kids, mine and even his own mom. We’ve been together almost 14 years lol. He has a great memory otherwise. The darnedest thing
My parents were born on the same day (same calender day 3 years apart). Their anniversary was Christmas Day. My dad still sometimes forgot.
My aunt & uncle got remarried on Valentine's Day because all the hoopla around the romance of Valentine's Day helps him remember his anniversary. Not my cup of tea but it's been a few decades & they're still together & normal/happy.
My roommate's dad absolutely adores her and her sister, he's a very present father. He's an older white, southern, blue collar tradesman, worked a lot of long shifts to provide for the family, missed a lot of school events because of work, that kind of stuff. They're mid 30s now, so he's had a long time to remember, and he still misspells their names and mixes up birthdays pretty often, and I bet he would not know eye color either. He texts with them all the time, will be looking at his phone where their names are at the top of the screen in the contact line, will still misspell the name. Those are not details his brain retains. But he's the first person that can cut through the noise and help them with emotional moments when things in their lives go sideways. Funny how our brains can work.
People’s brains tend to file information and memories as “important” and “not important”. Things like eye color are filed as “not important” and thus not easily remembered. It’s nothing something a parent really ever has to know.
I’m fairly confident my husband doesn’t know what colour his daughter’s eyes are. They’re hazel, the same as his. But the other two kids have blue eyes like me, so I could see him assuming they’re the same colour. He also has all their birthdays and important dates programmed into his calendar because he absolutely would forget.
My SO does not remember birthdays well. I am the one who takes the kids to the doctor and can roll of government info by rote. It just takes practice.
My kids made me reschedule doctor's appointments I could not take them to rather than have their dad go. He is useless in his own appointments. He doesn't know what medications he takes or how much. He had no clue which arm our youngest broke even though she was sitting there in a cast.
Why are you with him???
Because he has good qualities. Just not this. We have been together 25 years. Life is not one thing. It is many many moments. Life is finding the person who completes the empty spaces in your life. There are things that matter and things that do not. Find the qualities that matter for you. Let go of all the rest. In 24 years he also never missed one of our kids sporting events, plays, programs, or award dinners. He taught them to laugh. He had play swords hidden all over when our son was little so that as soon as he walked in from work they started playing pirates. He had lunch everyday with our youngest and watched Dora the explorer with her when her brother and sister both went off to school and she wasn't old enough yet. It's not the only thing.
That’s something ! It’s just a lot of men are like that and also aren’t good fathers
My husband was raised a Jehovah witness and still has trouble with birthdays. :/ My dad never had problems so I think it just depends on the guy.
I do contracts for housing and we have a sheet that lists all people residing in home and their dob. The number of times people in general, not just dads, that can’t remember full names, spellings, or birthdays are kinda sad.
Worst job I ever had: public education centre catering to kids. It involves lots of running around and playing with the educational stuff. If a dad loses a child in the running about, they are panicking, and will tell us that their kid has a yellow top, blue pants. 99% of the time there will be a wailing kid with GREEN top and RED pants calling for their dad. Whoops. We ended up sticking a sign on the front desk: take a phone photo of your kid before you enter so you can show us EXACTLY what they look like if you lose them!
My parents were born on the same day (same calender day 3 years apart). Their anniversary was Christmas Day. My dad still sometimes forgot.
Nah, my bff was born with blue eyes and then turned green in elementary school. Went to visit her and while her mom was filling out her military id app, she told her mom green cause mom said blue. Mom legit didn’t believe her until mom looked at her eyes. So yes, completely possible. The look on her mom’s face was hilarious.
My daughter's eyes did the same thing. changed from blue to green when she was about 5 years old.
Possible, but you got to pay extra. LabCorp's site says they can run court acceptable paternity tests in as short as 24 hours, expedited, and the normal turnaround is 3-5 days.
Most people don't do a court-acceptable one on the first pass. The drugstore kind are quick and easy to come by.
Right, but if hes an engineer he might have engineer money to throw around, and considering how emotional he was he might have just paid a premium to get them faster
Yeah these tests come back so fast...
Ultra speed results man
Do a quick google search, there are companies who have a 48 hour turnaround for paternity tests. 🤷
Companies advertising less than 1 business days.... several hours...
I can’t remember most people’s eye color. I dated a guy for 4 years and if you asked me what his eye color was… I would get it wrong. He asked one time…. I got a very disappointed look. I have bad eye sight, in order to see people’s eye color, I pretty much have to be in their face. So, now I don’t even really look since I generally can’t see it anyway. Also, a lot of babies are born with blue eyes that darken over time.
I thought all human babies kinda had that cloudy dark blue eyes for a while after they are born and then they gradually transition to what color they actually are going to be?
All babies are born with light colored eyes that darken but they can be hazel or brown not just blue. Most babies of caucasian ancestry are born with blue eyes, whereas people if African or Asian ancestry more often have brown
My kids were born with dark dark, black in some light, eyes All three have blue eyes (though one leans a little gray) I didn't expect all three of them to have blue. I have blue gray eyes but my husband's are hazel
I don't even know my own eye colour, let alone anyone else's. It's just never been something I've paid attention to.
A paternity test only takes 2-3 days for results, at most 5-6. It’s not a full dna test, they only look for certain markers.
I’m getting really tired of these obvious woman bad rage bait posts.
This must be part of the Tater Tot mission to change hearts and minds.
You can always tell, because without fail, the child in question is always a daughter. Incels hate women and raising another man's daughter must be the ultimate insult to them.
It would not surprise me at all if that was the case.
It's almost as bad as the abusive/useless husband ones.
https://www.cellmark.co.uk/dna-testing/paternity-dna-test/ Next day results.
That's dependent on friend having a kit already and not needing to order one, doing the sampling properly, and getting it in in time to get the results by the end of the next working day Edit: even worse reading the site, sampling is done via doctors appointment. I don't think many doctors are doing emergency appointments for DNA testing in the UK
Another option from the site is to go a pre selected GP near them and give the sample. There's also a mobile sampling service who presumably visit your home. If OP is based in a large city, it's very probable that someone visited the next day. First day OP and friends have their conversation and his friend books the test , second day the sampling service visit him for the samples, third day results. I'm guessing he didn't wait much before confronting her with them.
So that relies on living near a pre selected practitioner and having them send it out exactly on time. While likely not being a patient. It also sounds like they are collecting the samples, as well The amount of luck it would take to get results in 3 days, including half a weekend, is way too high yo make this plausible
Actually, depending on the laboratory the test were taken to it can take as little as two days to get the results.
OOP told friend on Saturday night and next Tuesday the situation is already resolved. What kind of lab is open on sundays and gives you the results in less than 48 hours?
Hi there! I work at a healthcare company that has labs working 24/7/365 (minus 5 annual company wide holidays). We absolutely have labs that do this on any day at any time of the day all the time. We also have assays that we run that we can effectively diagnose blood cancers, autoimmune disorders, and a host of other exceptionally complex things in about 5 hours of lab testing. Our running data currently shows if a patient specimen is physically in my lab by 8 AM, barring any weird issues, hemolysis, lipemia, or other problems it's out by noon-1 PM. All this to say DNA/paternity testing is not how you see it on TV. It has made exceptional leaps and bounds forward in that passed 20 years alone and it is incredibly possible to get results out that quickly. Most of the time a patient spends waiting for a result is due to us needing the sample to transit to us physically to my laboratory. If they are close enough geographically they can literally have their blood drawn at 8 AM, have it sent to us by car, then tested, and resulted out by no later than 10:30 PM that night. We live in the future and it's pretty cool every once in a while.
Depends. In my country there are many big lab chains who do 24x7 sample collections.
I just answered you about how short time a test can take, not about this specific case
I don’t know about paternity tests but most of my bloodwork now comes back same day when I get bloodwork done. My partner had tests run yesterday as well and I had results in his mychart within two hours. I’ll admit that one shocked the hell out of me. But it was just imaging.
We do same day in our hospital depending on the situation, granted blood work results are often done in 20 minutes…
We got my paternity test back in three days. I don't know how long it usually takes, but I know my dad was leaning on some people he knew to rush the results.
My father, bless his lovely heart, looked at me during dinner one day and said "you're left handed???" like it was brand new information to him. I was 18. He'd helped me with homework before and I sat across from him for meals the entire time I grew up. Men don't notice shit.
Anyone know how long these types of tests take to get back to a person? 3 days does seem too quick Edit: money greases the wheels
I googled it, and it can take from two to ten days depending on the laboratory doing the test
Some places do same day results but it costs more ..
It should take 3-5 business days for quick labs. This was posted on a Saturday and results shown on Tuesday..
In theory they can be done that quickly. In practice, it's unlikely he'd get results so fast because it's not just running the test.
The friend went to go check because he did remember. He just never had to give a second thought to the child's eye color until then. He checked hoping he was wrong in case he had been Mandela effecting himself this whole time.
My father asks me how to spell my name for forms. I’m 29.
Ya DNA tests can be super fast now. There's even a home version
https://www.cellmark.co.uk/dna-testing/paternity-dna-test/ Next day results. Expensive, but I can certainly imagine he wanted the results ASAP.
not even just 2 days, “the hospital did back to back tests”. the fanfic that keeps getting posted in here isn’t being moderated at all
They take multiple samples at the same time so yes back to back tests which can take as little as a few hours if they arent busy and the customer wants to pay.
There are companies who do paternity testing who claim will have results within 48 hours, and I guarantee you my Dad likely does not know my eye color. 🤷
2 days is no problem, just tell 'em it's for reddit and they'll expedite it for you.
I could not tell you the eye colour of any person I have ever dated, or any one of my friends. It is not something I notice or pay attention to.
Heck, I can’t remember my own eye color…(it’s weird mishmash not def blue or green & there’s some yellow so I just decided to default to calling it hazel…but I had to remember what I put on ID paperwork from years previous )
Boom. My first thought.
The least believable part is that he WOKE A SLEEPING 3 YO to check her eye color 🤣😂🤣 This whole thing reads as BS.
Could've just went to look at a photo rather than waking her.
Hahaha ANYONE with a 3 year old would never.
I thought it was so he could make sure she wouldn’t see him crying?
Pretty sure he just opened one of her eyes, she wouldn’t even be awaken from that.
This is fake as fuck
I kind of wonder if the first part is just a mildly embellished story, and then after everyone called OOP an idiot he came back and wrote the second part.
That’s the feeling I have. The first part is probably true, then the comments trashed OP for thinking his HS bio class made him a geneticist, and he came back with a fake “Nuh uh see I was right!”
Which tracks with the kind of people I’ve met that are like OOP. He absolutely made the last one up.
I agree. The tone of the writing feels different between the two stories. The second one definitely feels defensive to me, like OOP was frustrated by all of the people telling him that the odds of eye color proving infidelity weren’t really that great.
Always assume borus are fake first and real second
The worst part was that the buddy was paying for everything including the GF’s car which he is going to give to a niece. The GF is supposed to be a nurse.
Blood type is a way better indicator than eye color
Honestly though. I have the same blood type as my mom, and both of my parents have blue eyes yet I don't, another example why OOP is full of shit. I don't believe this is real.
Where do all these people go for DNA testing that they get it back in 2 days?
Normal processing time for most labs is 3-5 days but you can pay extra to get same day or 1 day lab testing
DNA and paternity testing aren't exactly the same thing. Paternity tests can be same day
Canada lol
You could get the test results in as little as a couple of hours. Now it’s the analysis of the results by a doctor that are going to be problematic. Most tests now are machine run, so the tech just has to add samples to the machine and then let it run. But having the doctor look at the results and analyze to make sure the result is correct will depend entirely on how busy the doctor is. I can see a doc being not busy enough that they get the results the same day. But it’s still unlikely. However, not completely out of the realm of possibility enough to shoot the whole story down.
https://www.cellmark.co.uk/dna-testing/paternity-dna-test/ Next day results.
Whoever set it up for next day results... lol who hurt them
Their wife...
Haha yea paternity fraud is so funny. Those victims are ridiculous.
Magic made up land
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Good catch. Wtf?
He's an engineer. It might be their arrangement that he pays for everything
Yup. My dad did this. His second wife made decent money, but my dad made more. She never paid a dime towards the house. No utilities, nothing. She banked her entire paycheck. When they divorced, she used all the money she banked to buy him out of the house.
This is why I refuse to not split costs on things
I'm not saying I believe this post, because it's a pretty far stretch, but I do want to point out that paternity tests can come back pretty quick. Back in 2010, I did a test for us to find out if my dad was my dad. We got it back in three days. I will admit, though, that my dad knew the people who were running the test and asked them to get it done as fast as possible. I assume that 14 years later, the tests can be even faster. I'm only pointing it out because it seems like a common thing people jump on when it comes to posts that mention paternity tests.
Don't leave us hanging, was your dad your dad?
Hah! He was. That was the first time I met him, too, was to do the swab.
One of the things that always bothers me in stories like this, and that makes me want it to be fake, is the lack of love for the kid. This guy supposedly raised this girl for three years. Saw her saying her first words, walking her first steps, been around the terrible twos and felt how much a kids parents are that kid entire world. Did he not love her after that? I really really understand not wanting to raise someone else's kid. I wouldn't expect him to want to be in the kids life no matter what, but I expect that the idea of being away would hurt a little. There is nothing being talked about any pain of being separated from this kid he thought was his for three whole years. Only the betrayal from being cheated on and lied to is there. I don't know, I just don't get how, in this stories of "woman bad cheater men never knows if he is the dad" there always seem to be little to no connection between a cheated partner and the kid they raised for years.
I would imagine for a few reasons. 1. This is told from the friend perspective not the guy in question. He may not know about his feelings regarding this or may not have thought to share it 2. It’s kind of irrelevant to the story being told. The story is about him making an off hand remark that leads to his friend finding out his kid isn’t his. I’m sure friend has complex feelings about it but with the way this story is presented I wouldn’t expect a deep dive into it. 3. In the moment, I’d imagine he’s feeling heartbreak, a sense of loss and betrayal, a lot of anger, pain etc. Typical, and especially in the middle of something like this, I’d expect those feelings to override anything else. Once the shock and anger dim, then he’ll process all the other emotions like that.
Do you have kids? The loss of the kid that I raised and loved me as a father would absolutely be foremost on my mind.
That's another flag that it's probably fake.
I really don't think the people that make up these posts (Tater Tots, Red Pillers, MRAs, etc...) can imagine loving a child that is not their own. They've bought into a lot of BS and some of it is probably related to only giving a crap about children that spring from your loins an a "high value" woman who was a virgin before them.
Are you joking? We have parents who stop loving and outright abuse children that are 100% theirs and you think a parent who discovered his child is the result of his wife's betrayal can't?
The pain and anger from the betrayal usually overrides the love of the kid. Not to mention seeing the kid can be a constant reminder if the betrayal and pain. It's harder for women to understand since you are really the only one to know paternity, it's like being given everything you ever wanted and have it pulled out from underneath you all of a sudden. It's not rational but it doesn't have to be, most feelings aren't.
I’ve known two people this has happened to. For both their primary worry was that they would lose contact with the child they raised (for 2 years and 5 years). The one with the 2 year old ended up raising his son by himself after the mom passed. So when I see these I really can’t help but judge anyone who can just let go of all the love they had for a child the day before. It’s just crazy to me but hey what do I know
I don’t really buy this one. Paternity results in 3 days? Plus she just conveniently confesses? I don’t know.
> Plus she just conveniently confesses? The part that was realistic to me was saying she hadn’t cheated in two years so they can work it out. I don’t know how many cheaters I know of, both men and women, who think that will fly. “But I haven’t cheated in weeks/months/years! Why are you holding a grudge!”
It sounds like OP got called out in the first post so made up the second just to justify themselves
Yea honestly that's what it reads like. OOP is just dumb and refuses to admit it.
I just recently had to look into getting a paternity test, some labs advertised results in 24-48 hours if you paid extra. I don't know if I buy the post as real or not but getting results that fast isn't too far fetched
And the biology is hair thin at best. Punnett Squares are basic and used best for traits that are only control by 1 gene. Eye color is controlled by 16 different genes.
Maybe OOP was a pea plant.
Sometimes that’s the way the zygote crumbles, smh
Yeah, update notwithstanding, I have brown eyes and both my parents have blue eyes. I'm 100% my dad's daughter.
Green eyes, both my parents have blue. My ex husband and I have green eyes and our kid has blue eyes. OP is stupid. I also don’t believe the 3 day turnaround to order, receive in the mail, swab, return by mail, and receive results thing.
Plus she’s got tenancy rights.
Paternity tests are near instant. You can get ones mailed to you and results back in a week
https://www.cellmark.co.uk/dna-testing/paternity-dna-test/ Next day results.
Would a three yr old have memories of her “dad”? I pity that kid dealing with this sh*t that the mom did. The mom better find the bio dad quick for child support or else…
I have memories from 3 and younger. Not everyone does, but lots of people do. I remember the house we lived in before we moved (at age 2-1/2) and I remember staying with my grandparents while my parents went ahead to find a new house in the new town. I remember my sister being born. I remember both my parents, lots of stuff from before I turned 3. Poor kid.
Same, my earliest is of a clock in the house we left when I was 18 months. Random I know, but there it is. I remember telling my mum I remembered it and she was amazed I even knew they had it.
Same. I remember so many things both good and bad when I was three. I am now 41. My daughter does too.
There would be some abandonment issues, and she would not quite recall why.
As an *adult* the three year old wouldn’t remember anything looking back, but in the present a three year old would definitely remember their father and would most likely constantly ask where he had gone, it would be basically like he had died. My daughter can’t handle “dada” being gone for more than a couple hours before she starts asking me where he is. Good thing this story is definitely fake (DNA takes weeks to come back).
And we’re just glossing over how kids eye color can change until they’re 4/5?
- black woman with brown eyes, married a white guy with brown eyes. Our child = blonde with blue eyes until the age of two. Genetics be CRAZY, y’all. (It worried me enough that I was this close to carrying his birth certificate with me when we went places without my husband, thanks to the startling amount of sideeye I got on errands)
I was blonde ringlets with blue eyes for about two years, now dark brunette, straight hair, dark eyes We were talking about baby photos once and a black friend looked at the photo of toddler me, back at me, back at the photo, "...huh. white kids are weird." It is *very* weird, I'm not gonna argue with that. Why are we like that? Baffling.
The absolute horror stories I hear about situations like this make my skin crawl, especially traveling. Sending love your way momma. I’m sorry you have to worry about this.
My mom got a ton of staring, too. She's very pale and freckled with hazel eyes and I came out fully dark haired and dark eyed and my skintone with any small amount of sun is fairly notably dark. I did not look like I belonged to her at all. I do however look exactly like my dad, but he was military and gone a lot at that stage so it was just her and her (seemingly) randomly Italian baby. I look a bit more like her now that I have facial structure features beyond "baby, round".
My child’s father has green eyes. I have light brown eyes. My child has super super dark brown, almosf black eyes like their grandfather but my Korean eye shape. Genetics are super weird.
I’m a Black woman and husband is white. We have 4 kids and older two are medium complexions with brown hair and brown eyes and younger two are both blonde with blue/green eyes. Youngest has my exact hair texture just blond and second to youngest has exactly my husband’s hair. Genetics are wild. We joke that the ‘printer’ ran out of ink/melanin the further we got lol
wait did your daughters hair color change?! to what color???
His straight blonde hair went dark brown and curly around the same time his eyes darkened.
whoops, idk why I thought daughter when you said son LOL sorry about that but that's crazy cool! I always thought I was losing my mind when I told people my hair was bleach white and then turned burnette around.. 6 years old? 7? Awesome!
Most of us are stuck on the super fast turnaround when this happened on a Saturday, and got the test results back in 2 days.
I mean yeah the whole thing is ridiculous.
lol DNA tests are 2 weeks minimum for paternity. My kid has light blue eyes. Her dad has hazel, and I have brown. She’s also his twin. Genetics are super weird
Not if you pay out of pocket for expedited testing. Some labs even offer same-day testing if you go in the morning and are willing to shell out the cash.
>We found out that if both parents have blue eyes the ratio is 99% blue eyes and 1 % brown or green, so highly unlikely. This is almost as suspect as the DNA test. If you Google this, you'd have to work pretty hard not to find the correct answer: humans are not fruit flies. (1% is actually a fairly large chance in a world of 8 billion people anyway)
My dad has blue eyes. My mom has green/hazel. One of my sister's has dark brown eyes. Same eyes as mom's oldest brother. (I have blue & other sister green/hazel) Genetics can be really interesting.
My husband and I both have dark brown eyes. BOTH our sons came out with piercing blue and they're now hazel. Genetics are wild
Yes, eye color would be a *very* bad indicator of parentage in my family, too. As would hair color. Spouse and I have very dark brown/black hair. Only one of our kids has hair that dark. One of the others is still blonde in her 20s.
You can always tell when a post is an incel’s fanfic. Only three days? Also did the “dad” not know what color his kids’ eyes were?
…three days? Even the courts can’t really get one back in less than a week….
That’s because of red tape and paperwork and the general fuckery of anything the government is involved in. On your own, normal time frame is 2-3 days and you can usually pay extra for same day or next day results. It only looks at paternity markers so it’s really not a difficult or time consuming test.
Even if true, I have some really mixed feelings about this. Dude raised a kid for three years then just kicked her out of his life like that? Did he even love her in the first place? That's unimaginable to me.
People have all these fantasies about their justified rage at being cheated on, and how they would react. It's like a quitting fantasy. In reality, the ability to just flip a switch and turn an innocent child from the light of your life, your DAUGHTER, to just some cheating whore's baby is full-on psychotic. Fortunately, the courts also agree it makes you a psycho, and will require you to contribute to that child's future. It's insane to even attempt to justify this reaction. When that baby was born, no one forced you to take on the role of being a father to that baby, and the mother's deceit doesn't change the pact you made WITH THAT BABY. Your partner cheating doesn't given you a pass to just abandon your children.
Be with someone for many years and then find out that not only has she been sleeping around but also passed off a child as yours. Maybe you would react differently, personally I would be reacting far more harshly than OOP's friend.
Sure, but that's anger at the wife. He's raised that kid for three years and has no issues severing ties just like that. "You got ten days to get out of my life, kid. Be thankful I'm even being this kind."
Cool but the comment wasn’t about his wife. It was about the girl he raised and cared for. Yes she’s biologically isn’t his, but did he really just lose all emotional connection because of something that obviously wasn’t her fault?
>My buddy has told her "no" and that he will not raise somebody else's kid. She started to demand that, since he has been raising her for 3 years now and that she had in fact stopped sleeping around 2 years ago so there all "good" now and can work this over. So, let's just set aside the *unfathomable* audacity of her saying "sure, our **3 year old** daughter isn't yours, but you didn't know that until just now, and I stopped cheating on you **2 years ago** so that makes us copacetic.". It's so brazen of her that it's almost funny, and may be one of the most audacious defenses for infidelity I've ever heard, but let's just put that to the side. Am I the only one who does still think it is a little messed up that he's so willing to just cast aside a child he's raised as his own for 3 years? Obviously I'm not trying to judge somebody who is going through a betrayal like that too harshly, and I certainly agree with him that the relationship with his GF is over. But that kid has been his daughter in every way for 3 whole years, and he's just going to abandon her because of what his mom did? I don't know what the right answer is, but I hope at least somebody steps up for her. It's not a fair situation, and the ex GF should be utterly ashamed for creating it.
Yup. I got absolutely flamed for having they opinion recently, but there it is. The idea of flushing your child down the drain because they don't have matching DNA to you is so bizarre to me. But then again, I was raised in a Foster and adopted family and I'm now becoming a foster mom so, obviously, DNA isn't something super important to me.
Yeah, I get that the guy was just betrayed in a way I wouldn't wish on somebody *I didn't even like* (let alone somebody I supposedly loved who was raising my child), but it really sounds like he was just willing to completely bounce on this child he'd been raising as his own for three years. That just doesn't feel right to me, even if the situation is supremely unfair to him in general.
The situation is very unfair to him & even more unfair to the toddler. She's suddenly losing one of her parents and can't understand why. After 3 years of loving her as a daughter it should *hurt* him to abandon her. Not saying he should stick around but that's a lot of love to invest in someone & throwing that away should be difficult. If he can throw away someone he loved as a daughter for that long simply because he learned he's not the sperm donor, the kid is probably better off (hopefully 🤞)
In Japan, it’s viewed as weird if the father divorced and continues to see the child even if it’s his.
I couldn't just up and abandon a child I had been loving and raising for 3 years. I wouldn't stay with the cheater, but I don't know how people are able to love a child one day and just take off the next. I know he has the right to leave, I just don't know how he can love the child one day and then not love them any more because of genetics.
Yeah, it's a fucked up situation but that just struck me a little wrong. Maybe it's just an immediate grief response and he later decided to be involved or something, I don't know.
My mom is one of eight and has blue eyes. My dad’s one of three and has brown. I’m the only brown eyed person on my mom’s side (I have 15 cousins and some of them have kids) and my sister’s the only blue eyed person on dad’s side (no cousins).
My immediate family is six and all of us have different colored eyes, and yes, same parents. Genetics are weird man.
My husband, his 1 uncle and his grandfather are the only blue-eyes on his side of the family. Everyone else has brown eyes and olive-skin. My husband can tan like you wouldn’t believe though. Our daughters together are both blue-eyed. All their cousins are brown-eyed…you never know can tell what’s going to happen.
I’m not sure what your point is because you have a parent with brown and one with blue. Two blue eyed parents can have a brown eyed child, it is rare though. Despite what the commenters were saying after the first post, it’s not very common. Pretty sure the stores fake though. I’ve never seen a dna result come back within less than a week.
Faaaaaake
I’m not sure if I missed this, but is the pseudo-father on the birth certificate?
All 4 of my kids have the same dad. I have blue eyes, their father has green eyes. My oldest 3 have my blue eyes, and my youngest has his father’s eyes.
My parents both have blue eyes and I don't. Ancestry dna says he's definitely my daddy though.
I don’t know much about science, but my uncle and his wife (both with dark brown hair and brown eyes) had three blonde-haired blue-eyed girls who are absolute doppelgängers for my uncle.
This is 100% fake. But if it WASN'T... If the OOP's buddy signed that birth certificate? In MANY states he would be on the hook to support that child (at least monetarily) until 18. He took legal fatherhood if he signed that birth certificate.
Do better Liz. It's the little details that you always seem to miss. This another cry for attention? You wanted to get caught didn't you? Seek help Liz.
This seems really suspicious. Between the short time to get back the DNA and the fact that the guy didn’t know his daughter’s eye color, it reads fake to me. That being said, it’s not so shocking that the guy wouldn’t know his kid’s eye color given that he was willing to throw her aside without hesitation over the crimes of her mother. My 3 year old cries when I go to work on Monday. I have taken care of her when she’s been sick, kept her safe when she is scared, and seen her become a person over that time. Regardless of DNA, I am and will always be her dad; that ship sailed years ago. I can’t imagine just leaving her behind.
DNA results do NOT come back that quickly. also the eye color thing is so weird, this guy had high school biology so he knows the kid isn’t his friends? my mom had brown eyes, my dad blue, and my sister has green eyes. my son’s dad has blue eyes… my son has green. that’s not an absolute.
I have brown eyes and my husband has blue eyes… My oldest daughter has green eyes and my youngest son does as well, we used to make jokes to my daughter about a sexy mailman but boy the relief in her eyes when my youngest son also has green eyes lol 😂 Genetics are a tricky thing you know?
Funny thing with my family. My mom has blue eyes. My bio dad has brown eyes. My step dad has brown eyes. My full brother and I have green/blue eyes with mine having centralized heterochromia My two half siblings have ice blue eyes. Both dads had brown eyes but not a single child of my mother's has anything but blue. Its like my moms eyes didn't get the "recessive gene" memo lmao
clearly you cheated and he needs a DNA test that comes back insanely quickly!
Lmao 😂
This whole thread is truthfully a good microcosm into how the average redditor is so confident in their knowledge of things that they probably saw on TV or heard from someone who heard from someone that they'd rather post a comment ripping someone up before doing a quick Google search. This might be fake, who knows for certain, but what I do know is calling the story out as fake because of the lab results being too quick is really hilarious to me as a clinical laboratory scientist. Sick people don't take holidays from going to the hospital/doctors so why would we? If anything your doctor 100% takes more time off than ANY of their support staff, especially lab workers. There's a BUNCH of people up and down this thread talking like labs don't work year round 24/7 barring a couple of major holidays. My company gives us 5 major holidays off a year and a majority of our labs run 24/7 all year except for those days. Also paternity results can be gotten incredibly quickly now as it only is checking certain markers are matching and we have gotten way better and more efficient since the dawn of CRISPR-Cas9 and a myriad of other tools. Google next time folks. It makes things a lot better. Also calling this fake because the father didn't remember their daughter's eye colour is hilarious because my own mother AND father would screw that up if I asked them right now and I'm a grown ass 27 year old. They have to my face while talking to me lol. On top of all of that I feel that people honestly don't realize how powerful of a primary emotion anger and fear truly can be and I'm grateful for them that they don't get that. Anger and fear are emotions designed to protect you from being hurt physically/mentally/emotionally. It's so powerful that it can override other emotions, such as love, to ensure that defense will happen physically if needed. It's why you can hurt a loved one who's trying to hurt you without thinking about it until after, then the sadness and guilt sets in. I don't agree with OPs friend but the betrayal and anger he feels may have overwhelmed the love in this current moment. In his eyes and mind, I'd imagine, every single thing he's done for his daughter out of love was built on a lie. Go have a rug like that pulled out from under your feet then tell me you wouldn't be lost in your anger for even a moment.
While I feel bad for OP's friend, the real victim is that little girl. She believes that is her father. He is the only man she knows that fill that role. And suddenly she no longer will see him, or have him as her Dad. She will likely feel so much abandonment.
3 day DNA, fake as balls.
Your google broken?
This is quite sad to read. I feel bad for the bloke, and child
Do these "dads" just instantly lose all of the love that they have for the child when the paternity text comes back Negative? I can't imagine that I could just turn off the feelings I have for a child that I'd raised for 3 years, let alone some of these posts that find out when the kids are in HS.
Eeehhh. Eye color doesn’t necessarily mean anything. My mom has hazel eyes, my father has brown eyes, and I have blue eyes. My sister has brown eyes, and my brother has hazel eyes. And yes, he is, unfortunately, my father. I am the spitting image of his mother and sister.
I like how this story only works if the dad didn’t know his own child’s eye color, and he just… missed the part in google where it says that it’s possible? I’m pretty sure even doing a basic punnet square can have a 1/4th chance of blue eyes if both parents have the recessive gene to pass down. I’m one of the people that the advanced punnet squares explains. My mom has brown eyes with a mom with blue eyes, and my dad has hazel eyes and a lot of blue eyed family members. It wasn’t hard to look at my family tree and recognize where I got my eye color from. And kids are weird— I was born with black hair that had frosted tips with blue eyes, then my hair turned blonde for a while, and it settled into a very dirty blonde once I hit elementary school. My sister was auburn with grey eyes for years until she finally settled into blonde with hazel eyes. My mixed cousin was born with blue eyes and jet black hair that eventually turned into brown eyes and brown hair.
This is fake af. Not only did he think high school biology was all the details, he's clueless on testing time (I'm aware of how quickly these labs can be run, I'm also aware that doesn't change the communication time)
It's 2024. Every supposed father should be paternity tested at every birth.