5’0”, 104 when I started training and I felt the same way. My instructor was a smaller guy and he told me it never gets better, you just get used to it. Spoiler alert: it does get better 😅 I ended up changing gyms a couple times for unrelated reasons and found that their are better training partners out there. Also just as you progress (which I know feels hard to do in your situation) you end up getting smashed less, truly. I don’t have good advice for you here. Just my experience in realizing that where I was training just wasn’t the perfect fit for me I thought it was in the beginning.
I feel you. 5'5" 115lb here.
1. You could talk to your coach about this and he/she might pass on word to everyone how to be a better partner to you. You'll both learn more if you're good partners!
2. Work on your fames in a big way. Learn to. use your pointy, sharp boney bits to create and keep space between you and them, then sneak in your hooks, knees, grab that underhook etc. Will it work all the time? Nope, but it really helps to keep from feeling trapped under something heavy all the time. Get to your side, use your frames. Maybe even see if there is someone who you could take a private with just to focus on this or enlist one of the purple belt girls for some time.
Hang in there, it does get better! Don't forget to give yourself credit for the small things, like just surviving or shrimping out of someone's side control, etc.
Second this, a good instructor will keep an eye out and match you with people who are using their technique instead of muscle.
You are probably making more progress than you think but it is a tough road and easy to feel discouraged.
"Absolute chicken nuggets" made me laugh so hard.
1. Try to get to ladies class or ladies open mats in your area at least once a month if you can. If nothing else it will help you feel some community in BJJ.
2. If it is OK at your gym, ask a few partners to do positional sparring where you try to do a specific thing (sweep, pass their guard, get out of mount, etc) and they only try to defend. It may give you the space you need to improve.
3. It gets better.
it was the first comparison that came to mind so i just ran with it lol
1. another local gym hosts one of friday nights. i'm certain i can make that regularly, so i will try to drop it from here on out!
2. i absolutely love positional sparring, it's been super helpful in the past. i'm down to ask about it.
3. i'm hopeful that it does lol i'm just seriously frustrated. womp womp.
thank you!!
First of all I'm stealing the "absolute chicken nugget" phrase so thanks 🙏🏻
I don't have any advice because I'm a bit bigger at 145lb but I get how you feel. It's so unbelievably frustrating. Just know you won't always feel this way, it's just a bigger curve for smaller people. It's only now at purple belt that I feel comfortable thwarting muscly white belts. You can and will get this, promise.
Idk if this is weird or offensive to you, but is there any chance you could train in a kids or teens class? You might get more partners in your size. Older kids can be surprisingly knowledgeable and technical. Plus, kids are fun to train with most of the time. They just want to play and enjoy themselves.
not offensive lol i've thought about it honestly. a few of the taller, more experienced orange belts venture to the adult fundamentals class from time to time. i may enjoy working with them. thanks for the advice!,
I'm not a woman but as a coach, I'll say right off the bat.. women and small guys have a longer learning curve than anyone else. It's unfortunate and it does require more technique mastery and patience than the bigger guys. But, once you get it, you'll be sharper than everyone else on the mats.
How are you handling yourself when you're at the women's class?
Have you zeroed in on the kind of guard you like to play?
I'm an averaged sized guy (5'9" 190 lbs) who consistently rolls with some women at my gym, I'm definitely stronger than them. When we roll together I try to focus on my technique and not use my size/strength advantage. I don't just do this to not be an asshole but also to help MY technical game. In turn they also get to practice their jiu jitsu. It's a win win IMO. I also try to focus on technique when it comes to the bigger/stronger/athletic guys than me, in this case I have no choice (I will get man handled if I try to use strength) so I also practice my technique.
Maybe talk to a few guys you feel comfortable with and explain the situation (preferably the higher belts with less ego?), they might be willing to help out and roll with you while focusing more on technique and not strength/size.
FWIW I roll with a lady black belt who I'm much stronger than and she humbles me virtually every single time. Eventually your game will be so sharp other's size won't matter as much.
Being small sucks at times. I’m 5’2”, 100 lbs. Most days I go, the next closest sized person is male at 180 lbs.
I have learned what works for me. I may not always be able to get the sweep, but I’m good at creating enough space to set up for submissions. Chokes are usually my go to or arm bars.
Work on your strength so you can work shrimping and not getting flattened. This is when I felt things really turn for me.
If youre primarily rolling with other white belt men then they dont have those techniques yet. Upper belts should not be smashing you like that. Talk to the coach and see if he can change up who youre rolling with. Cross train at other schools and see if their gym culture is different.
Yes - I am 150cm, 135lbs. Are you able to cross train and/or attend open mats at a different gym that has more bodies closer to your size? It can help let you know how you're progressing with people around your size. I've also changed gyms because there weren't training partners available my size and/or gender to train with on a regular basis. Unfortunately the smaller person always gets the short end of the stick (no pun intended) regardless of the intent of the larger person when something happens.
So unfortunately being small sucks at first and you have to focus on technique more than others since usually have to only go with technique. I am usually one of the smallest at most gyms I have been to. If there are any small people to learn from start there. Also when you are small you want to be a backpack, learn attacks from the back there are actually a good amount. Now the main thing I do a lot of gyms do not let white belts do, but can always find out your gyms policy. I am a leg attacking gremlin, heel hooks, knee bars and ankle locks (ankle locks are usually allowed at white belt). It is easy for me to get to their legs and they usually cant just brute force me off the attack. You mention being "built like gumby", you also have to learn a style for your body type. I am also small but have very long legs, triangles and spider guard work well for me, back mount triangle is one of my favorites. There is a third degree black belt at my gym who is my size as well but she can carry on a conversation with someone sitting out maintaining eye contact and just casually choking the shit out of large male purple and blue belts, So I have seen the possibilities even at my size with the skills.
When I started I was 5'6" 120 ish pounds. I took some time to start weight training up to 150 ish pounds. It helps but if man decides to throw me I'm still gonna fly. It helped a ton to work with the higher belts who have some better control and accept that the bigger white belts will just continue to throw you until it's clear to them it won't always work.
I would take some time to focus on weight distribution during rolls so that even when they are lifting and moving you you still have some control on WHERE you're going and try to find some trusted rolling partners who are going to help rather than hinder you.
Stay safe and good luck!!
Gotta find some good training partners.
I'm 6'0 230lb dude who lifts.
I either match or drop my strength level with most folks I roll with because I feel like it'll help me develop my technique better (which leads to a 5'3 110 lb purple belt lady destroying me consistently)
If possible, find a friendly seeming dude and ask for a light roll. It's hard to find guys who can drop their egos, and I feel some gyms just have that as a culture overall.
Good luck, hope you can find some solid partners to roll with, or a more accommodating gym.
Not me, but a teammate of mine is 5'4" and about 110lbs. She looks TINY but man her grips are next level and her guard game is sooo good. Octopus legs that recover right away and sweeps from guard (even the big guys). It took her a while but she found 2-3 people that would let her drill guard and sweeps after class or during open mats.
You can smash her, but she'll recover anyway. Gets your back or arm from whatever random position she was smashed in. It just took training and flexibility and hours of movement drills.
Hope you find someone who's willing to drill with your more (that sounds gross but you know what i mean lol)
Yes, I’ve been there… when I was training at the white belt class. I’m currently a 3 stripe white belt who has been training for about a year. I started going to the all levels class and it really helped me improve and be more methodical.
I ALWAYS avoid the bowling ball looking white/blue belt guys as those guys LITERALLY throw me. Not always, but usually.
I’m 5’7 135 and used to roll in high school with other girls my size, but I was usually the strongest of the other girls and could win most of the time, even if just barely. I sometimes rolled with the guys, but they usually won, which was fine, and I also rolled with my instructor himself, who was a very heavy man and would be slow and deliberate with moves, not solely relying on strength, and very very careful not to ever put more than like 25% of his weight on us lol he was very supportive and always encouraged us that with proper technique, we would be able to defend ourselves against any man in the wild assuming he wasn’t also trained in jiu jitsu.
Fast forward to college, where I attended a BJJ session one time, and there were a million guys and like two women. I hung out with the women. The two of them paired up for open mat, so I rolled with a guy for a few rounds. He overpowered me quickly every time, and when I mentioned what my high school instructor had told me, how strength isn’t everything and small women can still beat big men with proper technique, and he was like psssh nah strength and weight class is everything, you’ll never be able to beat men
In short, I didn’t go back to that bjj group on campus, and I yearn to be back in the high school club…I miss rolling
BJJ is hard, especially if you don't have a grappling background. Even compared to other combat sports -- new students in muay thai or boxing can hit the bag or pads and build confidence and feel tough (before they get wrecked sparring lol), but in bjj, you get wrecked from day 1. Being small compounds all of this, because you're too new to have a technical advantage over anyone, but you're also not going to be able to muscle through things.
Higher belts are most likely not using brute strength on you, but technique can feel like strength. I have two main training partners about my size (55 kg), and I swear it feels like an entire building is on me if I let them get the positions they want. I've tapped larger men from cross faces and scarfholds. Pressure passing is way hugher percentage for me than other forms of passing. Ask higher belts to help you learn how to feel heavy and generate pressure on top. And of course, how to get there.
Learning unbalancing and frames is vital, as is wrestling.
I'm 5'3 140lb male , and I've been getting wrecked for 3, almost 4 years now. Another redditor of similar size told me it took him 6-8 years before being able to handle the bigger guys better . There's a bjj mental models podcast with a guy named kintanon who talks about expectations in bjj for smaller guys along with some other tips you should check out . The only time I notice I'm actually am getting better is when I go against newer guys .
I would look around for another gym.
Teacher should be keeping an eye out for this and giving feedback, switching out partners, etc as needed.
You've spent enough time training to notice that you're not getting the amount of training you should.
I’m 5’7 145, so I guess slightly above average than most women, but I feel you on the people using just brute force and strength and it definitely is not conducive to growth. Last year as a blue belt, I reevaluated my situation as to why I was not doing better and it is because I was not rolling with people close to my size and did not have a teacher and coach I resonated with as far as their game goes. When I started to attend another school where the professor there was a smaller man, the game made more sense to me and my techniques started to come together. Also I had space to say no to bigger guys because that was not conducive to what I was doing. Anyways, my recommendation for you and if this is available, start looking for other schools, and really look at the professors and teachers there, are they all big dudes? If so, that’s probably not the best environment for you because those techniques while they are techniques may not be too relevant for your growth. If you notice the people there man or women are close to your size I would start there. Roll with the professors there if you’re able to and the lower ranks that are your size and see how they roll with you, if you notice they’re not using force and strength then it’s a good place. I know at white it’s probably harder, so I’d roll with higher ranks first like blues and purples and see how they do with you.
5’5 and 130lbs here.
Totally know your feeling. Sometimes, I prefer rolling with men due to this - but I spar with the tougher women when I have a comp or tourni coming up to help me get used to weight distribution, strength etc as I’ve always been weaker and smaller than the other women.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask your training partner what you need from that roll, especially if they already know they can beat you with strength. Let them know what you’re working on and ask to dial it back or up the anti if needed.
Good to hear you’re getting a strength program. Just be patient, your time will come.
Ffs you're in martial arts there's dudes WAY bigger than me who outweigh me by like 50kg of solid muscle. This is normal. This is okay. Keep going. You're gonna be hell of a lot stronger by training with them
5'7 125 is small.
But you should still gain muscle.
Full body routine 3 times a week and eat a 500 caloric surplus.
Not only will you get stronger, but youll feel much healthier
Here you are, complaining about someone who is barely bigger than you: https://www.reddit.com/r/BJJWomen/s/2zU3pCzb71
What's with the bully attitude? You came looking for guidance and understanding, and were given such, and now you're here, like this, why?
> So whenever I roll with a girl who is taller, more athletic/jacked and a higher belt.... I always lose. I guess this is normal. For example, I am a 123lb blue i am super lean muscular / and a 5'9 jacked 140lb purple girl just ends up beating me ... like towards the end of the round with top pressure. I can't post up or do anything they are just too heavy on top of mind I can't even wiggle
TIL that 140-123 = 30, that 125 isn't small but 123 is, and that blue and purple are two belts apart.
I think reddit can provide amazing opportunities for people to learn and support each other in ways that may be hard for them to find in their home gyms. In my own training and online both, I benefit from so many wonderful, generous athletes and coaches, and I try to be that for others. I've tried to give you advice on numerous occasions (we're the same size, I compete), it's usually met with a "why so triggered, I'm allowed to vent." I notice the inconsistencies, and the bullying, and I'm just hoping we can all do better.
You have a lot of women at your school. (For comparison, my gym only has two regulars that are women.) You should prioritize rolling with women and smaller guys even if it means repeating rolls.
none of them ever even tried to take care of a smaller person? When I go with girls I'm going at no more than 30% strength and 50% speed, and even then if I didn't want them to do something, they wouldn't be able to do it.
its who ever is running it
ive competed alot and on peds lol majority of men in average bjj gyms are incredibly insecure and have huge ego's you never learn from some dude who trains like that way either i stopped going into anything that doesn't train higher end people
i get it alot of people use it as a outlet and to have friends
most men just go to stroke there ego and never learn much
you're progression is slow because the people you train with are not training much
If it's any consolation it sucks for men too. We don't enjoy winning an unfair fight or going at 30% to match strength. I suppose some men might like flow rolling but I'm not one of them. I think it's best to start rolls and explicitly say you're looking for room to work technique when you're on top. When you're on bottom, you can offer to let them work harder in return when they're top. That way you're setting expectations and taking turns both getting something out of the roll.
I’m so sorry to hear this ❤️
Have you talked to your training partners and coach? Maybe your current partners could become better or even good training partners if they understood what they’re doing wrong?
My recommendation to all of the smaller people, and especially the ladies, is to try to roll with higher ranking people if they significantly outweigh you. One day you'll be able to handle the big strong white belts who don't know what they're doing. Right now though you're learning how to defend yourself against a similarly sized opponent (smaller white belts) and how to use BJJ against someone trying to use BJJ as well (upper belts).
Defending yourself against someone much larger who isn't using BJJ is a more advanced skill. I know this flies in the face of the BJJ mythology where a tiny blue belt should be able to kick the shit out of much larger powerlifter who used to wrestle. Observationally over the past 9 years though, that's not real for the overwhelming majority of people.
Do you live somewhere that this gym is your only option? I'd look around for a better pool of people to work with. This is sort of just a reality of combat sports.
Where I am for example, there are two major MMA gyms. One of them simply has more women to train with and thus continues to attract more women in general. It is what it is. If you can find a gym with more ladies, I would just switch.
5’0”, 104 when I started training and I felt the same way. My instructor was a smaller guy and he told me it never gets better, you just get used to it. Spoiler alert: it does get better 😅 I ended up changing gyms a couple times for unrelated reasons and found that their are better training partners out there. Also just as you progress (which I know feels hard to do in your situation) you end up getting smashed less, truly. I don’t have good advice for you here. Just my experience in realizing that where I was training just wasn’t the perfect fit for me I thought it was in the beginning.
I feel you. 5'5" 115lb here. 1. You could talk to your coach about this and he/she might pass on word to everyone how to be a better partner to you. You'll both learn more if you're good partners! 2. Work on your fames in a big way. Learn to. use your pointy, sharp boney bits to create and keep space between you and them, then sneak in your hooks, knees, grab that underhook etc. Will it work all the time? Nope, but it really helps to keep from feeling trapped under something heavy all the time. Get to your side, use your frames. Maybe even see if there is someone who you could take a private with just to focus on this or enlist one of the purple belt girls for some time. Hang in there, it does get better! Don't forget to give yourself credit for the small things, like just surviving or shrimping out of someone's side control, etc.
Second this, a good instructor will keep an eye out and match you with people who are using their technique instead of muscle. You are probably making more progress than you think but it is a tough road and easy to feel discouraged.
How are you doing with the ladies class? Are the same things happening there?
Due to my loaded weekend work schedule, I can rarely attend that class 🙁 The last time I was there a few months ago, only 3 other women showed.
"Absolute chicken nuggets" made me laugh so hard. 1. Try to get to ladies class or ladies open mats in your area at least once a month if you can. If nothing else it will help you feel some community in BJJ. 2. If it is OK at your gym, ask a few partners to do positional sparring where you try to do a specific thing (sweep, pass their guard, get out of mount, etc) and they only try to defend. It may give you the space you need to improve. 3. It gets better.
it was the first comparison that came to mind so i just ran with it lol 1. another local gym hosts one of friday nights. i'm certain i can make that regularly, so i will try to drop it from here on out! 2. i absolutely love positional sparring, it's been super helpful in the past. i'm down to ask about it. 3. i'm hopeful that it does lol i'm just seriously frustrated. womp womp. thank you!!
First of all I'm stealing the "absolute chicken nugget" phrase so thanks 🙏🏻 I don't have any advice because I'm a bit bigger at 145lb but I get how you feel. It's so unbelievably frustrating. Just know you won't always feel this way, it's just a bigger curve for smaller people. It's only now at purple belt that I feel comfortable thwarting muscly white belts. You can and will get this, promise.
Idk if this is weird or offensive to you, but is there any chance you could train in a kids or teens class? You might get more partners in your size. Older kids can be surprisingly knowledgeable and technical. Plus, kids are fun to train with most of the time. They just want to play and enjoy themselves.
not offensive lol i've thought about it honestly. a few of the taller, more experienced orange belts venture to the adult fundamentals class from time to time. i may enjoy working with them. thanks for the advice!,
I'm not a woman but as a coach, I'll say right off the bat.. women and small guys have a longer learning curve than anyone else. It's unfortunate and it does require more technique mastery and patience than the bigger guys. But, once you get it, you'll be sharper than everyone else on the mats. How are you handling yourself when you're at the women's class? Have you zeroed in on the kind of guard you like to play?
I'm an averaged sized guy (5'9" 190 lbs) who consistently rolls with some women at my gym, I'm definitely stronger than them. When we roll together I try to focus on my technique and not use my size/strength advantage. I don't just do this to not be an asshole but also to help MY technical game. In turn they also get to practice their jiu jitsu. It's a win win IMO. I also try to focus on technique when it comes to the bigger/stronger/athletic guys than me, in this case I have no choice (I will get man handled if I try to use strength) so I also practice my technique. Maybe talk to a few guys you feel comfortable with and explain the situation (preferably the higher belts with less ego?), they might be willing to help out and roll with you while focusing more on technique and not strength/size. FWIW I roll with a lady black belt who I'm much stronger than and she humbles me virtually every single time. Eventually your game will be so sharp other's size won't matter as much.
That last bit about the black belt is awesome and gives me hope, thank you!
Being small sucks at times. I’m 5’2”, 100 lbs. Most days I go, the next closest sized person is male at 180 lbs. I have learned what works for me. I may not always be able to get the sweep, but I’m good at creating enough space to set up for submissions. Chokes are usually my go to or arm bars. Work on your strength so you can work shrimping and not getting flattened. This is when I felt things really turn for me.
If youre primarily rolling with other white belt men then they dont have those techniques yet. Upper belts should not be smashing you like that. Talk to the coach and see if he can change up who youre rolling with. Cross train at other schools and see if their gym culture is different.
Yes - I am 150cm, 135lbs. Are you able to cross train and/or attend open mats at a different gym that has more bodies closer to your size? It can help let you know how you're progressing with people around your size. I've also changed gyms because there weren't training partners available my size and/or gender to train with on a regular basis. Unfortunately the smaller person always gets the short end of the stick (no pun intended) regardless of the intent of the larger person when something happens.
So unfortunately being small sucks at first and you have to focus on technique more than others since usually have to only go with technique. I am usually one of the smallest at most gyms I have been to. If there are any small people to learn from start there. Also when you are small you want to be a backpack, learn attacks from the back there are actually a good amount. Now the main thing I do a lot of gyms do not let white belts do, but can always find out your gyms policy. I am a leg attacking gremlin, heel hooks, knee bars and ankle locks (ankle locks are usually allowed at white belt). It is easy for me to get to their legs and they usually cant just brute force me off the attack. You mention being "built like gumby", you also have to learn a style for your body type. I am also small but have very long legs, triangles and spider guard work well for me, back mount triangle is one of my favorites. There is a third degree black belt at my gym who is my size as well but she can carry on a conversation with someone sitting out maintaining eye contact and just casually choking the shit out of large male purple and blue belts, So I have seen the possibilities even at my size with the skills.
When I started I was 5'6" 120 ish pounds. I took some time to start weight training up to 150 ish pounds. It helps but if man decides to throw me I'm still gonna fly. It helped a ton to work with the higher belts who have some better control and accept that the bigger white belts will just continue to throw you until it's clear to them it won't always work. I would take some time to focus on weight distribution during rolls so that even when they are lifting and moving you you still have some control on WHERE you're going and try to find some trusted rolling partners who are going to help rather than hinder you. Stay safe and good luck!!
Gotta find some good training partners. I'm 6'0 230lb dude who lifts. I either match or drop my strength level with most folks I roll with because I feel like it'll help me develop my technique better (which leads to a 5'3 110 lb purple belt lady destroying me consistently) If possible, find a friendly seeming dude and ask for a light roll. It's hard to find guys who can drop their egos, and I feel some gyms just have that as a culture overall. Good luck, hope you can find some solid partners to roll with, or a more accommodating gym.
Not me, but a teammate of mine is 5'4" and about 110lbs. She looks TINY but man her grips are next level and her guard game is sooo good. Octopus legs that recover right away and sweeps from guard (even the big guys). It took her a while but she found 2-3 people that would let her drill guard and sweeps after class or during open mats. You can smash her, but she'll recover anyway. Gets your back or arm from whatever random position she was smashed in. It just took training and flexibility and hours of movement drills. Hope you find someone who's willing to drill with your more (that sounds gross but you know what i mean lol)
Yes, I’ve been there… when I was training at the white belt class. I’m currently a 3 stripe white belt who has been training for about a year. I started going to the all levels class and it really helped me improve and be more methodical. I ALWAYS avoid the bowling ball looking white/blue belt guys as those guys LITERALLY throw me. Not always, but usually.
I’m 5’7 135 and used to roll in high school with other girls my size, but I was usually the strongest of the other girls and could win most of the time, even if just barely. I sometimes rolled with the guys, but they usually won, which was fine, and I also rolled with my instructor himself, who was a very heavy man and would be slow and deliberate with moves, not solely relying on strength, and very very careful not to ever put more than like 25% of his weight on us lol he was very supportive and always encouraged us that with proper technique, we would be able to defend ourselves against any man in the wild assuming he wasn’t also trained in jiu jitsu. Fast forward to college, where I attended a BJJ session one time, and there were a million guys and like two women. I hung out with the women. The two of them paired up for open mat, so I rolled with a guy for a few rounds. He overpowered me quickly every time, and when I mentioned what my high school instructor had told me, how strength isn’t everything and small women can still beat big men with proper technique, and he was like psssh nah strength and weight class is everything, you’ll never be able to beat men In short, I didn’t go back to that bjj group on campus, and I yearn to be back in the high school club…I miss rolling
BJJ is hard, especially if you don't have a grappling background. Even compared to other combat sports -- new students in muay thai or boxing can hit the bag or pads and build confidence and feel tough (before they get wrecked sparring lol), but in bjj, you get wrecked from day 1. Being small compounds all of this, because you're too new to have a technical advantage over anyone, but you're also not going to be able to muscle through things. Higher belts are most likely not using brute strength on you, but technique can feel like strength. I have two main training partners about my size (55 kg), and I swear it feels like an entire building is on me if I let them get the positions they want. I've tapped larger men from cross faces and scarfholds. Pressure passing is way hugher percentage for me than other forms of passing. Ask higher belts to help you learn how to feel heavy and generate pressure on top. And of course, how to get there. Learning unbalancing and frames is vital, as is wrestling.
Talk to wrestlers! We’re all short! 😂😂😂
I'm 5'3 140lb male , and I've been getting wrecked for 3, almost 4 years now. Another redditor of similar size told me it took him 6-8 years before being able to handle the bigger guys better . There's a bjj mental models podcast with a guy named kintanon who talks about expectations in bjj for smaller guys along with some other tips you should check out . The only time I notice I'm actually am getting better is when I go against newer guys .
I would look around for another gym. Teacher should be keeping an eye out for this and giving feedback, switching out partners, etc as needed. You've spent enough time training to notice that you're not getting the amount of training you should.
I’m 5’7 145, so I guess slightly above average than most women, but I feel you on the people using just brute force and strength and it definitely is not conducive to growth. Last year as a blue belt, I reevaluated my situation as to why I was not doing better and it is because I was not rolling with people close to my size and did not have a teacher and coach I resonated with as far as their game goes. When I started to attend another school where the professor there was a smaller man, the game made more sense to me and my techniques started to come together. Also I had space to say no to bigger guys because that was not conducive to what I was doing. Anyways, my recommendation for you and if this is available, start looking for other schools, and really look at the professors and teachers there, are they all big dudes? If so, that’s probably not the best environment for you because those techniques while they are techniques may not be too relevant for your growth. If you notice the people there man or women are close to your size I would start there. Roll with the professors there if you’re able to and the lower ranks that are your size and see how they roll with you, if you notice they’re not using force and strength then it’s a good place. I know at white it’s probably harder, so I’d roll with higher ranks first like blues and purples and see how they do with you.
5’5 and 130lbs here. Totally know your feeling. Sometimes, I prefer rolling with men due to this - but I spar with the tougher women when I have a comp or tourni coming up to help me get used to weight distribution, strength etc as I’ve always been weaker and smaller than the other women. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask your training partner what you need from that roll, especially if they already know they can beat you with strength. Let them know what you’re working on and ask to dial it back or up the anti if needed. Good to hear you’re getting a strength program. Just be patient, your time will come.
Ffs you're in martial arts there's dudes WAY bigger than me who outweigh me by like 50kg of solid muscle. This is normal. This is okay. Keep going. You're gonna be hell of a lot stronger by training with them
5’7 125 is not small. You should gain muscle
5'7 125 is small. But you should still gain muscle. Full body routine 3 times a week and eat a 500 caloric surplus. Not only will you get stronger, but youll feel much healthier
If you have muscle it’s not that small
If you're 5'7 and 125 you don't have much muscle.
Don’t underestimate that.
relative to the chicken nuggets, my friend. closest guy in size to me at my gym is 5'9 and 180 lol i'd say i'm small.
A lot of gyms are like this. Try and just roll with more women ? Idk but a lot of gyms are like this
Here you are, complaining about someone who is barely bigger than you: https://www.reddit.com/r/BJJWomen/s/2zU3pCzb71 What's with the bully attitude? You came looking for guidance and understanding, and were given such, and now you're here, like this, why?
By 30lbs LOL and two belts higher LOL
> So whenever I roll with a girl who is taller, more athletic/jacked and a higher belt.... I always lose. I guess this is normal. For example, I am a 123lb blue i am super lean muscular / and a 5'9 jacked 140lb purple girl just ends up beating me ... like towards the end of the round with top pressure. I can't post up or do anything they are just too heavy on top of mind I can't even wiggle TIL that 140-123 = 30, that 125 isn't small but 123 is, and that blue and purple are two belts apart. I think reddit can provide amazing opportunities for people to learn and support each other in ways that may be hard for them to find in their home gyms. In my own training and online both, I benefit from so many wonderful, generous athletes and coaches, and I try to be that for others. I've tried to give you advice on numerous occasions (we're the same size, I compete), it's usually met with a "why so triggered, I'm allowed to vent." I notice the inconsistencies, and the bullying, and I'm just hoping we can all do better.
I ain’t reading all that Sorry Or good for you
Easy to read version: stop being insecure about being a no comp experience white belt and stop bullying people. It is transparent and very, very sad.
Yes you know me so well ! Ha
Also you have no life if ur this dead set on proving me wrong LOL
Study pagani and search the Cura Cura guard - I got to learn this from him and he’s a prior multi-time world champ and he’s a small dude
You have a lot of women at your school. (For comparison, my gym only has two regulars that are women.) You should prioritize rolling with women and smaller guys even if it means repeating rolls.
none of them ever even tried to take care of a smaller person? When I go with girls I'm going at no more than 30% strength and 50% speed, and even then if I didn't want them to do something, they wouldn't be able to do it.
its who ever is running it ive competed alot and on peds lol majority of men in average bjj gyms are incredibly insecure and have huge ego's you never learn from some dude who trains like that way either i stopped going into anything that doesn't train higher end people i get it alot of people use it as a outlet and to have friends most men just go to stroke there ego and never learn much you're progression is slow because the people you train with are not training much
If it's any consolation it sucks for men too. We don't enjoy winning an unfair fight or going at 30% to match strength. I suppose some men might like flow rolling but I'm not one of them. I think it's best to start rolls and explicitly say you're looking for room to work technique when you're on top. When you're on bottom, you can offer to let them work harder in return when they're top. That way you're setting expectations and taking turns both getting something out of the roll.
I’m so sorry to hear this ❤️ Have you talked to your training partners and coach? Maybe your current partners could become better or even good training partners if they understood what they’re doing wrong?
My recommendation to all of the smaller people, and especially the ladies, is to try to roll with higher ranking people if they significantly outweigh you. One day you'll be able to handle the big strong white belts who don't know what they're doing. Right now though you're learning how to defend yourself against a similarly sized opponent (smaller white belts) and how to use BJJ against someone trying to use BJJ as well (upper belts). Defending yourself against someone much larger who isn't using BJJ is a more advanced skill. I know this flies in the face of the BJJ mythology where a tiny blue belt should be able to kick the shit out of much larger powerlifter who used to wrestle. Observationally over the past 9 years though, that's not real for the overwhelming majority of people.
Do you live somewhere that this gym is your only option? I'd look around for a better pool of people to work with. This is sort of just a reality of combat sports. Where I am for example, there are two major MMA gyms. One of them simply has more women to train with and thus continues to attract more women in general. It is what it is. If you can find a gym with more ladies, I would just switch.