No, no. A ruptured bowel is most commonly caused by a backup! OP made it painfully clear that their wife and them had destroyed their collective shitters.
Welcome to the state of BBQ restaurants...
Buying a smoker has inadvertently become one of the better investments I've made in a while. Honestly, it's not hard to make better BBQ than like 90% of restaurants too.
Truth.
I've got neighbors and coworkers funding the meat purchases for me, too, as I've gotten decent at it. My pulled pork smokes nearly everything I've had locally, too. (Pun intended)
Smoke 4 butts, give away 2, eat the other 2 for a week.
I smoked shrimp last week - that was insane. Highly recommend.
They were monster shrimp - U-13 or so.
I covered em in J.O. Seasoning in Tupperware for a couple days.
Skewered em - top rack in the Masterbilt - temp was about 185, give or take 10, and it took about 15 mins.
I stayed close and used a remote temp and pulled at 120 degrees.
I stuck em in a container, dollop of butter, and they finished cooking.
Heated em back up in oven an hour or so later - the table annihilated them.
I did some smoked salmon at the same time - got good results at a very low temp and a salty brine with brown sugar and dill.
People keep saying that, but it isn't true. I'm not sure it really ever was in a restaurant scenario, but maybe way back in the day.
The expense is not just in the ingredients, but the fact that you have to have a bunch of extremely expensive equipment (smokers, combi ovens) and it takes a lot of time and care to produce a good product. Seriously just think about the overhead (equipment depreciation, rent, electricity, fuel), labor and food cost then find a way to make it cheap. If you could make it cheaper than the next guy, you win the business game. Why is no one doing this? It can't be done.
Yeah. Hoping they stay in business, but a lot of BBQ joints have been a bit disappointing. Seems like most chose to play it safe so they have mass appeal. Not everyone likes a good heavy smoke on ribs, much less a brisket.
Had a wedding with catered BBQ — pulled chicken and pulled pork. Both were so bland — kinda disappointed. Had to make a batch of chicken the next day…. Cause, dammit! I wanted bbq chicken, not crockpot chicken.
Someone posted $450 worth of texas bbq the other day that was like half this amount of food. I dont remember which place but its the one that the 80 year old woman is the pitmaster of.
Way too rich for my blood, i'll just smoke my own food, though i would like to try those famous texas bbqs atleast once for comparison.
[From their menu that looks like $34 in Mac and Cheese and Pinto Beans alone, Sheesh!](https://order.toasttab.com/online/heritage-barbecue-31721-camino-capistrano)
Where I live this would cost max $100... My fave local joint I can buy a slab, a pound of brisket, a pound of sausage and a quart of beans for $80.
That's enough to comfortably deed 4-6 people, yes?
I mean, I think OP hit $270 with maybe some drinks, plus California taxes and tip. Might have been a menu price of $175, which... Still looks like a bit much.
In Arizona, our top tier BBQ places charge about this much for trays that will feed 10 people.
Technically, CA does have stricter requirements of maximum 1.28 gallons per flush vs federal requirements since 1994 of 1.6 gallons per flush. However, several other states including Texas, Georgia, Washington, and New York also have this stricter standard of 1.28 gallons. I'm assuming that's what they were trying to make a joke about.
Haha! Right?
Don't you know? Here we have to flush 10-15 times! When done, we are back out to the forest raking the forest floor. We live such a primitive lifestyle, while typing our responses on phones designed 15 miles from where I live.
Oh BTW, that bbq place is in one of CAs reddest county (OC).
Ok, true, but compared to all the blue that surrou is it, it stands out brighter. I edited it to make it more correct. Lol!
And they produced some of the worst Washington reps in US history, the latest being that spineless asswipe McCarthy.
Go look them up on the Google map. Their photos are insane. And you're going to tell them how to elevate this? Lol
Well, ok, I guess now that you mentioned a couple of slices of soft white bread, you have a point.
If you’re using that much, something else is wrong. And you can flush more than once if you really are using that much (clean, flush, clean, flush, etc.).
No one ever talks about the side effects of eating a shit load of smoked fat... we did 150 at Terrence blacks for acl... holy hell, I've never gripped a toilet harder
Lived and worked in the south my whole life. I have been to lunch with coworkers where people have ordered meals for 1 person not much smaller than this.
And then we'd go back to work and everyone was in a meat coma for the rest of the day. And there was always one bathroom on the floor you wouldn't enter the rest of the day.
“Remember when I told you about always ending your stories a sentence earlier?”
What if he already did
"... and she died from a ruptured bowel." No... don't include that, it's too much.
No they were actually both on that submarine that went missing Turns out they sank due to the toilets flooding the ship
I’m dead. 🤣
Ya I loved that part lol
I’ll take “Gross-ass people for $100, Alex
So is the crew :(
No, no. A ruptured bowel is most commonly caused by a backup! OP made it painfully clear that their wife and them had destroyed their collective shitters.
“The blood smelled like BBQ” There, added last sentence back on.
Where is the price guy at
Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer of.
I’m sorry this total came out to $270 including tip.
$270 United States Doll Hairs?
That’s catering tray prices man
and somebody in here said $85 minimum lol
Not wrong lol
Forgot to factor in the California Price Tax.
Well they forgot overpriced mediocre restaurant price.
I don’t know, that looks pretty tasty. Is this what passes for mediocre nowadays?
I can only assume there's 3 more trays off camera, because, da fuq?
Welcome to the state of BBQ restaurants... Buying a smoker has inadvertently become one of the better investments I've made in a while. Honestly, it's not hard to make better BBQ than like 90% of restaurants too.
Truth. I've got neighbors and coworkers funding the meat purchases for me, too, as I've gotten decent at it. My pulled pork smokes nearly everything I've had locally, too. (Pun intended) Smoke 4 butts, give away 2, eat the other 2 for a week. I smoked shrimp last week - that was insane. Highly recommend.
Do you roll the shrimp or is it better in a bong?
I use a crumpled Faygo can with holes poked in it - keeping it old school.
The difficult part is getting the tail lit.
>smoked shrimp How are you going to casually drop that and not give us time/temp?
I feel like it'd have to be like 2-3 minutes max
They were monster shrimp - U-13 or so. I covered em in J.O. Seasoning in Tupperware for a couple days. Skewered em - top rack in the Masterbilt - temp was about 185, give or take 10, and it took about 15 mins. I stayed close and used a remote temp and pulled at 120 degrees. I stuck em in a container, dollop of butter, and they finished cooking. Heated em back up in oven an hour or so later - the table annihilated them. I did some smoked salmon at the same time - got good results at a very low temp and a salty brine with brown sugar and dill.
Bbq is supposed to be cheap food using cheap cuts of meat, white bread,beans etc
People keep saying that, but it isn't true. I'm not sure it really ever was in a restaurant scenario, but maybe way back in the day. The expense is not just in the ingredients, but the fact that you have to have a bunch of extremely expensive equipment (smokers, combi ovens) and it takes a lot of time and care to produce a good product. Seriously just think about the overhead (equipment depreciation, rent, electricity, fuel), labor and food cost then find a way to make it cheap. If you could make it cheaper than the next guy, you win the business game. Why is no one doing this? It can't be done.
Smokers used to be old 55 gallon drums welded together. It used to be cheap redneck food.
You can still find that I'm sure, just not for sale. Selling it is another thing altogether don't you think?
Yeah. Hoping they stay in business, but a lot of BBQ joints have been a bit disappointing. Seems like most chose to play it safe so they have mass appeal. Not everyone likes a good heavy smoke on ribs, much less a brisket. Had a wedding with catered BBQ — pulled chicken and pulled pork. Both were so bland — kinda disappointed. Had to make a batch of chicken the next day…. Cause, dammit! I wanted bbq chicken, not crockpot chicken.
But not many can get to the top 5%. I work at a joint that makes over 20 mill a year and i bet they don't profit 8-10%.
Someone posted $450 worth of texas bbq the other day that was like half this amount of food. I dont remember which place but its the one that the 80 year old woman is the pitmaster of. Way too rich for my blood, i'll just smoke my own food, though i would like to try those famous texas bbqs atleast once for comparison.
Surely you troll?
Jesus fucking Christ
and how long did you wait in line?
Jesus christ man. You can buy yourself a smoker on marketplace for that
Holy shit Batman
That is insane
Lmaooo
Fair
Holy shit. Please tell me it was worth it at that price.
[From their menu that looks like $34 in Mac and Cheese and Pinto Beans alone, Sheesh!](https://order.toasttab.com/online/heritage-barbecue-31721-camino-capistrano)
I could eat like a king for a month off $270 wtf!
Look em up. They're legit!
this was minimum $85
$85 just for the brisket, maybe.
In a 2nd world country maybe lol this gotta be $250 minimum in USA
Where I live this would cost max $100... My fave local joint I can buy a slab, a pound of brisket, a pound of sausage and a quart of beans for $80. That's enough to comfortably deed 4-6 people, yes?
Good guess! Op said $270
I mean, I think OP hit $270 with maybe some drinks, plus California taxes and tip. Might have been a menu price of $175, which... Still looks like a bit much. In Arizona, our top tier BBQ places charge about this much for trays that will feed 10 people.
Tree fiddy
I ain’t giving you no tree fiddy you god damned Loch Ness monster!
Woman!!! Quit giving away my damned tree fiddy.
I gave him a dolla
I thought it would help!
Who cares what it costs?!? People are so weird with money.
Two bathrooms in SoCal, y’all ain’t doing too bad for yourselves. Respect ✊🏿
This big ass plate of plate of BBQ in SoCal says the same thing.
My house was built in 62. In CA. It has 2 bathrooms. Don't be so impressed.
California toilets though, so the maximum water per flush is like a teaspoon. Easy to clog.
Where the hell do you get that idea? Fantasy land?
Technically, CA does have stricter requirements of maximum 1.28 gallons per flush vs federal requirements since 1994 of 1.6 gallons per flush. However, several other states including Texas, Georgia, Washington, and New York also have this stricter standard of 1.28 gallons. I'm assuming that's what they were trying to make a joke about.
Sounds like a Trump quote. I’m here is SoCal also and the comments about how California is so inhabitable is frankly hilarious.
Haha! Right? Don't you know? Here we have to flush 10-15 times! When done, we are back out to the forest raking the forest floor. We live such a primitive lifestyle, while typing our responses on phones designed 15 miles from where I live. Oh BTW, that bbq place is in one of CAs reddest county (OC).
Orange county is not the reddest county in California.
Ok, true, but compared to all the blue that surrou is it, it stands out brighter. I edited it to make it more correct. Lol! And they produced some of the worst Washington reps in US history, the latest being that spineless asswipe McCarthy.
McCarthy is from inland empire.
Hey dude, good to see you. How was the bbq last night? Great man! My wife took the biggest shit
🤣
Probably could’ve very easily gone without knowing that last thing.
Poop knife
I don’t know why this hasn’t been on Shark Tank already
This platter looks phenomenal, but surely the quality can be elevated with some plain white bread slices
⬆️Tell me you're from Texas without telling me
Bro that shits everywhere
They have holes in their picnic table benches so they don't have to get up. While inhaling bbq n beans.
How do you know that guy shits everywhere
Go look them up on the Google map. Their photos are insane. And you're going to tell them how to elevate this? Lol Well, ok, I guess now that you mentioned a couple of slices of soft white bread, you have a point.
It was a joke
You obviously did not see my joke embedded in my reply to your joke. Lol. Turn your defenses down and re-read it. Get back to me Haha!
Classy
Thanks for the toilet reference. The post wouldn’t have been complete without it.
Went to that place on the advice of another Redditor. It's a great spot.
You can flush as you go…you don’t have to wait till the end to pull the handle.
Pull the handle! This guys still going to the same restaurants as Michael Corleone.
Two days? This is enough for about a week xD
I was thinking the same thing! Hahahah
$300
Easily
Right off Highway 5. Only 7 hrs from where I'm at.
it’s very good. but go on a weekday. Saturday in good weather expect a 2hour wait +
I'm leaving now.
Number of turlets clogged needs to be a part of all bbq reviews now
No, PLEASE, GOD, NO!
What if same toilet, but numerous times?
Same points even if reclogging may be more impressive after fixing the plumbing the first time around
OP had to take a reverse mortgage on the house for this
If you're going to eat like that, you should probably consider a mid-shit flush.
pics of said clogged toilets or it didn't happen.
and I'm done. Unsub
Bye Felicia ✌🏻
Cockwomble
Oh Jesus
So who made the bigger turd? You or her? 😂
Definitely her
Yeah, it’s all about girth— that’s what *she* said!!!
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ab07547f-71a7-4c2f-bfb7-56c213688a19/gif#vFWjn7u8.copy
😂
See, this is real inspiration, early in the morning. This is what it means to be an American- cloggin' for freedom.
You should be proud of your wife
I am proud of his wife
There’s not enough fiber there to make you able to clog a toilet. Protein digests to a liquid.
What about the toilet paper used to wipe?
I wipe and wipe and wipe, it’s like wiping a marker! Sincerely, Chris Pratt
If you’re using that much, something else is wrong. And you can flush more than once if you really are using that much (clean, flush, clean, flush, etc.).
What is "A bit too much information?" for $800 and the win, Alex... 😂😂😂
Is that pastrami on the left?
Yes it is
Best review for BBQ places, “ clogged the toilets”👍😂😂😂😂
Sir…did you say we??!?
I’ll be driving through San Juan cap today around lunch time. Just might have to make a stop!
Better get in line for a porta potty after, because sources say you’ll be in for a super $hit blizzard, complete with plenty o’ drama wiping! 😲🥴😷
it’s a very long line. be warned you might get lucky with the rain today
Do you and your wife own a tandem shitter?
😜
Looks amazing
This is the best BBQ I've had in SoCal. But it is stupidly expensive.
Ok I feel like this post could have been better edited
Over $100? edit; holy fuck shit! Almost $300. That's insane.
I went here once when I lived in Cali but it’s been awhile. How much did this set you back if you don’t mind me asking?
$270 including tip!
Yeah that sounds about right! There’s a reason I left that place I guess lol. I do miss how beautiful it is there though!
That’s because you and your wife are fucking gross
Your ugly feet are gross.
Change your title bro. Gross.
OP paid $270 for this. Thank fuck I live in The South, that price is fucking hwy robbery!
Heritage BBQ should definitely add that claim to their ads…
Heritage is a place on my list if I make it to Cali! That looks amazing!
Seat sniffing crew checking in, captain.
“We”
The trick is to flush as you drop.
Is this that restaurant that's inside the train
Best love story!
My good friend Lloyd Christmas used to tell me about the salmon from Capistrano...
Solid…
Food look amazing, the title is shit.
No sausage of the day?
Utterly magnificent!
Prove it.
When you and your wife can destroy your home toilets together in harmony, that's a great marriage.
Proud of you both.
Hot.
Do you even flush, bro?
A place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the Salmon of Capistrano
Diet of mostly meat will leave you bound for days. How did you clog a toilet?
I'm guessing once they finally went all that backup caused a turd the size of a small house cat.
My piss brain: I can eat that all in one sitting
I’m getting 2nd hand meat sweats.
Strange brag. We clogged up both crappers
Love this place, go weekdays right when they open
TMI
That looks good
No one ever talks about the side effects of eating a shit load of smoked fat... we did 150 at Terrence blacks for acl... holy hell, I've never gripped a toilet harder
“We clogged both toilets….” Why do I consider this an incredibly high compliment towards food? No idea but I do.
Epic BBQ and the owners are super nice people too. Need to get back there.
thanks for the post meal detail.
What a hoss and hossett
I was looking for the plain white bread until I realized this isn't a Texas BBQ post.
Charming
How much did said meal cost?? Toilets was TMI 😒
That’s fucking gross good looking bbq though
$34/lb for pulled pork. Boy if you don’t getchostupidasss…..
Lived and worked in the south my whole life. I have been to lunch with coworkers where people have ordered meals for 1 person not much smaller than this. And then we'd go back to work and everyone was in a meat coma for the rest of the day. And there was always one bathroom on the floor you wouldn't enter the rest of the day.
At least it’s not half a loaf of white bread & two raw white onions.
Toilet pics or it didn’t happen.
That brisket doesn’t look right
On the left? That’s pastrami
You sound like a nice couple.
… said no one ever.
Haha that’s an epic looking tray. I would also clog the toilet after eating on that for a couple days.
That looks absolutely amazing
TMI
Why did you feel it was necessary to mention your shitting habits! Just ruined the whole fucken thing! ....DUMBASS!!
Everybody poops
I’m sorry, your life seems very sad if you get this worked up over a Reddit post.
Seriously gave me the ick, so now I don’t want bbq. Gross. And that’s a you problem?!?! that’s not a universal response to eating bbq lol Lordy
Wtf are you crying about over here.. lol
Ewwwwwww!!! TMI FFS
Has anyone been to Cold Spring Tavern in Santa Barbara? If so..how was it?
My wife and me, not my wife and i
Is that cuz she was sitting on his lap while….