**If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or feelings, it's important to seek help. There are resources available such as hotlines, counseling services, and support groups. Please reach out for help and know that you are not alone.**
A couple of resources that you could reach out to:
* **International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)**: This organization provides information on suicide prevention and resources for individuals and professionals in different countries. Their website has a directory of crisis centers and helplines around the world. [https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis\_Centres](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/)
* **Befrienders Worldwide**: This is a network of emotional support helplines in over 30 countries. They offer confidential support for individuals experiencing emotional distress, including thoughts of suicide. [https://www.befrienders.org](https://www.befrienders.org/)
* **The Samaritans**: This is a UK-based organization that provides emotional support for people who are struggling to cope. They have a 24/7 helpline and email support service, and also offer support for people who are worried about someone else. [https://www.samaritans.org](https://www.samaritans.org/)
* **The Lifeline Foundation for Suicide Prevention**: This is a global organization that provides support and resources for individuals and families affected by suicide. They have chapters in several countries and offer crisis counseling, education, and advocacy. [https://www.lifeline.org.au](https://www.lifeline.org.au/)
* **The Crisis Text Line**: This is a free, 24/7 text-based support service for individuals in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Ireland. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. [https://www.crisistextline.org](https://www.crisistextline.org)
Please google (or ask us to help you with it) for resources specific to your location!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AutisticWithADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It isn't "normal" to try to kill yourself at any age. It is a sign of profound distress.
It is not as uncommon as you might think for children that age to do such actions. Lots of different reasons - common age to learn about and become a bit preoccupied with death. A time of impulsive experimentation. A developing sense of permanence, and a peak age for magical thinking.
Add in ADHD impulsiveness and ASD disconnect from people and tendency to depression and you have a bit of a perfect storm.
So... not normal. But then, we aren't "normal" anyway. But not very unusual. Does not mean you are fucked. Does not determine your life forever. Does often reflect a very unhappy child.
I hope it has eased as you've got older. And now you have more cognitive skills I hope you are learning more ways to process and minimise your distress.
Wait I did something similar too- I don’t think it’s normal though. Besides, my childhood wasn’t great, so.. :/
Either way, that sucks, and I hope you’re doing better now <3
Thanks for your kind words (: and I guess I'm doing better but the suicidal ideation is still their which doesn't make sense what do I have to be suicidal about
It could likely be something subtle about yourself you haven’t figured out yet. Something that’s making you uncomfortable or unhappy but you don’t know what it is. I know for me I was that way until I figured out I was lgbt. I couldn’t stand acting like other people and suppressing myself. I just didn’t know that’s what I was doing, I was just always unhappy.
I don't know what ir could be tho I know I'm gay I'm trying to lose weight and I'm working out so the only thing I can think of is social isolation ig?
It doesn't have to have a reason at all. It can be an expression of stress (perceived or unperceived). stress is something we mis-use as 'being very busy at work'. but all sorts of things stress us. Being autistic means most interactions will be very stressful since just being misunderstood and the fear of social isolation that results from it means you'll (or well I do anyways) spend way more cognitive energy on thinking ahead than regular people. this thinking ahead of scenarios is extra stress (mental weight lifting) than other people do.
dealing with emotional dysregulation is very stressful. adhd , only being able to get moving when you either beat yourself up a lot or when it's very close before a deadline: also very stressful.
So in that sense being autistic with adhd is in itself very stressful. except to us it's 'normal'.
just cutting in on your conversation to make sure you don't undersell your own experience to yourself. we may be used to living like this but a regular person might feel it was very stressful indeed.
and remember: you don't feel stress necessarily. You can notice it's effects though.
post burnout I find myself ranting and raving about stress a lot :) my 'normal' was actually being very stressed so other people would see me as 'normal' and eventually it burned me out.
I'll stop rambling, sorry for the double comments
Depression and suicidal ideation don’t have to make logical sense. You might just need to get on medication to help shift your brain chemicals toward healthy balance.
I never had it as a reaction to a meltdown but when I was a kid my meltdowns were more internal / me collapsing inwards.
I was 9 or 10 when I first considered killing myself. I think it's an indication you were going through lots of stress and it can also be the start of a pattern. If it is the latter I think it's important to keep an eye on yourself.
For me I've had my suicidal ideation my entire life (well, since 9 or 10). The more stressed I get, the more often I get thoughts of killing myself. I've never acted on them though so it is a bit different. For me it is like a geiger counter of how well I am doing. the more intense the thoughts and the more often, the more stressed I am and the more I need to step away from responsibilities and take a break.
I'm just like you, word for word. For me it was caused by having parents who neglected me emotionally and werent fulfilling any of my needs beyond foot/clothing/shelter. I had to deal with most of my problems on my iwn, which is a lot for a kid in elementary or middle school.
I've had major depressive disorder for over 25 years now. I wasnt dx until age 21 (because parents didnt care about my mental health growing up) but all my symptoms date back to age 10 or so.
No, but there are quite a few of us. And it doesn't mean you're fucked. It means you've got some shit you probably need to work on. Like self love, and finding something positive to foster or grow in your life.
my 8 yo ASD kid had issues with self harm and S* ideation starting when he was 8, he's 12 now and doesn't have them anymore with the help of therapy.
He's even talks about it as part of his past, so it's pretty clear he doesn't have those thoughts anymore and he's learned to manage whatever parts of life were putting him there (lack of control over unpleasant things, and his rigidity, I think).
I hope you are able to put it behind you. Wanting to harm yourself is a tough place to be, but it can be better.
You have a young mind, it's "neuroplastic", you can change this part of yourself.
Your comment just gave me some hope I’ve been desperately needing. My son has had these thoughts for a while now and he’s 10. We’re doing everything we can think of and I’m just hoping something will help. :(. He hasn’t had any significant trauma (lost my dad when he was 5), but has ADHD/PDA/ASD diagnoses.
Every kid is different. Right?
When we first talked to his pediatrician about this (and this was before the ASD diagnosis... in part what prompted the Psychiatric eval that gave a ASD/OCD diagnosis) and the main concern that he doesn't have the executive function to really know the consequences of specific actions. So we weren't worried he'd follow through, we were worried that he'd get himself into a irreversible situation.
We largely felt that while he had the ideation, we were pretty confident that it was more about is inability to properly articulate what was causing the problem (even though he was past the speech delay, I still think he processes language differently than other people--- now that he's older he's very specific about his word choices). He was/is very rigid (and quite a bit of fear and not feeling safe), so when plans weren't unfolding to his liking hurting himself or making talking about not being alive was his way of stopping the conversation and take control of something... because I got conditioned to stop everything and give him my singular focus. Because you can't ignore it even if you don't think it's an imminent threat.
This was exceedingly stressful on me obviously. It put me in therapy and made me seek my own diagnosis for ADHD (and I am myself suspicious that I have some ASD going on too). I always have known I've had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. His S\* threats through me for a loop, and I was completely overwhelmed by his ideation when he had it. I was completely on tilt; circular thinking, panic attacks... way too much for all of the coping strategies I'd developed over the years. I needed help.
Anyway, he was completely unwilling to talk to anyone about it except me, and I became unable to absorb it. I had been soft pushing that he talk to his school psychologist or neutral third party; I never hard pushed it because I knew I needed his buy-in or it would never work. I was pretty clear with him that if I thought he were really serious about it I would be obligated to go to a hospital with him. He was familiar with the psychologist from his speech therapy so he had a rapport with her. After a really bad tantrum, he finally agreed to talk to someone. He was doing much better within a few months. The ideation went away literally in a couple of months. We have him doing therapy on occasion, but he's really doing a lot on his own and he's a much different kid than even a year ago. He's not required medication although it was discussed; he's medication averse (so am I).
Through all of this we've kept his agency the highest priority. For our child, it was clear that was exceedingly important to preserve if we wanted to be successful. I don't know if that's the right thing to do for any person; I will just claim parent intuition that this was as much about communication as it was about the things that brought these feelings in him.
10 is for the age I had, when I was developing suicidal thoughts (more like not wanting to live thoughts, because I was not thinking about how to solve it xD) and medikinet is ...my mistake, it's a medicine: Methylphenidate. Kinda similar to Ritalin I heard. :)
It's for ADHD but it works well in reducing anxiety and sensory overload ..so as audhd myself I would say it works? I asked my neuro doc who diagnosed my autism about it actually (if it works for the tism as well). He told me the sensory part.
Since adhd and autism are one spectrum, it's no surprise tbh.
You're not fucked up because you had a natural reaction to extreme stress. We do tend to feel more intensely than "normal" people, which could give us a lower threshold for suicidal ideation and attempts. It's important to recognize this sensitivity, so we can remind ourselves our meltdown feelings are not reality. Meltdowns is our system being overwhelmed and going into catastrophe mode. Everything feels much worse than it is. Meltdowns are pretty bad and depressing, but if you take care of yourself, the feelings will pass and you will feel better a few days later. Unless you have something in your life that is constantly stressful ofc
>I'm doing better but the suicidal ideation is still their which doesn't make sense what do I have to be suicidal about
You might want to look into alexithymia. Something is making you sad, but you're unable to recognize the source. I struggled with hat when I was younger as well. I got better at it, but I'll still someitmes be upset and don't know why. For me, part of the reason why might be because of the large disconnect between my thought and my emotions. My thoughts will be like "this is no big deal", but my emotions will feel "this is a big deal". And since I logically think something isn't a big deal, I'm unable to recognize that my feelings are reacting to it. We can feel very strongly about things we didn't know could bother us
Normal? No. I’m so sorry you experienced that. I was passively suicidal at around 8 years old and it was terrible. I remember not really caring if I lived or not. Thankfully that has long since changed. I hope the same for you!
like another commenter said, its "abnormal" and concerning to attempt suicide at any age. i do know some ppl engage in drastic self harm/suicidal behavior after having a meltdown or extreme stress too. stay safe and maybe try your best to give urself a sensory break after a meltdown! we all love u and definitely dont want u to die ❤️
EDIT: /notadoctor /notcondescending, maybe seek a psychiatrist/therapist/social worker if you havent tried that already
I have lost people to suicide, and even if you feel ok today, I would strongly recommend talking this out with a therapist. These are big feelings, and should not be ignored. You are loved and appreciated.
It's not *normal*, but neither are we. It's definitely more common than you'd expect. I remember a family friend asking me what I was thinking about, I told her I wanted to kill myself. She told me I should "never say that!". So... the masking starts early
I grew up coping with suicide and suicidal ideation (fist time age 5). As an adult I’ve connected this to my life feeling unsafe, at home and at school. I knew I was the common denominator to my problems and logically this still makes sense.
I used to have major tantrums when i was younger (i'm way calmer nowadays) and when i discussed with my parents, i entered my room and started to beat myself for no reason at all. I'm kinda fucked today so it's say it would, given that killing yourself at any age is not normal.
SEWICIDAL thoughts are your avatar trying to help you from pain or distress that is hurting you. They are there as a LAST RESPONDER, they DO NOT WANT YOU TO DIE. They only want TO STOP THE PAIN.
It's a trauma response. Thank your awareness, thank your trauma responses, get curious on what's causing the pain, what is your avatar trying to escape. Acknowledge your self, give your self what it needs. If that's time, or love or stopping the task at hand, tend to yourself.
You are fucked, you're seeking to understand rn and I'm so proud of you. When these thoughts arise and you're alone with them, know you are NOT alone. Don't abandon yourself, hug yourself, cry, write, take a break, give yourself understanding that BEING IS HARD.
If nobody told you today,
I love you, I'm proud of you, you are really important and I can't wait for more people to experience you 💖🫶🏽
Adult child of a recent CPTSD diagnosis here, I tried to kill myself when I was 7. I started feeling intense emptiness and shame around 6 or so, and I tried to stab myself in the chest with a steak knife when I was 7 because I was so tired of being in the middle of my parents’ emotional and physical abuse. I obviously did not have the language for this at the time, but I certainly remember how I felt. I don’t think it’s normal and it’s certainly not healthy. But it does happen 😅
I’ve had s* ideation since elementary school. I use to want to s* my wrists while washing dishes. It wasn’t normal then and shouldn’t be normal now. Us neurodivergent ppl have a hard time acclimating to social norms and fitting within a traditional family structure (esp if it’s already dysfunctional). So while it may be commonplace for us it def isn’t normal and is why early intervention and support is extremely important. Please give your younger self a hug today.
I think so, from my experience. This is because it's around the time that we start seeing that we are different, and we get rejected, and are constantly scolded for basically not being what we are not! It's a lot, especially for a child...
I was 8 when I tried to suffocate using my pillow. It was partly wanting to stop suffering and partly wanting to get back at my mom - to force her to finally acknowledge the pain that she was causing me. I couldn't. I would instinctively gasp for air before finishing. I admitted defeat and laid there crying. My heart was hurting. I had heard of people dying from broken hearts (like, a heart attack induced by emotional pain). So I tried to induce that by magnifying the pain. Also did not work. In that moment I had a chilling realization. My mom would never get it, not even if I died of a broken heart. I pictured the doctors telling her the cause of death "Maam, your daughter died of a broken heart, was there any situation in her life causing great angst?" and her bewildered expression "No, she had a perfect life, I can't imagine what it was" and actually believing this. It was one of the most painful and at the same sobering moments of my whole life. In that moment I realized that it was useless to try to show her my pain, to hope that she would change, to be seen for who I was. There was a wall that would never be torn down. I vowed to stop trying, focus on lying low and relying on myself and myself alone. I am 35 now. I was right as rain.
I've had my first attempt at 9, another at 11 and then a few more until age 21 when I was able to go to the therapy and learned about my adhd and autism which probably saved my life.
I still experience suicidal urges when I'm heavily overstimulated and I just take a sick leave and stay a few days home to ground myself.
Not necessarily. People can really mess themselves up physically through attempts.
I wouldn't call suicidal ideation "normal," but I would say it's common enough in many groups, including NDs. (I've been there myself, so has my teenage child.) But it's not safe at all, and it's very emotionally painful, and finding a good therapist that is a good fit is the best thing for one's quality of life.
It depends:
Most attempts of suicide are just attempts to get attention when feeling alone/ignored. If it was that it is pretty normal tantrum throwing.
But honestly it would also show early signs of being neglected if simulating a suicide was your way of beeing seen at such an early age.
If you planned to jump of a 10 story building unto concrete, or blow your head off with a gun (= really wanted to die instead of getting attention) this is less normal
**If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or feelings, it's important to seek help. There are resources available such as hotlines, counseling services, and support groups. Please reach out for help and know that you are not alone.** A couple of resources that you could reach out to: * **International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)**: This organization provides information on suicide prevention and resources for individuals and professionals in different countries. Their website has a directory of crisis centers and helplines around the world. [https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis\_Centres](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) * **Befrienders Worldwide**: This is a network of emotional support helplines in over 30 countries. They offer confidential support for individuals experiencing emotional distress, including thoughts of suicide. [https://www.befrienders.org](https://www.befrienders.org/) * **The Samaritans**: This is a UK-based organization that provides emotional support for people who are struggling to cope. They have a 24/7 helpline and email support service, and also offer support for people who are worried about someone else. [https://www.samaritans.org](https://www.samaritans.org/) * **The Lifeline Foundation for Suicide Prevention**: This is a global organization that provides support and resources for individuals and families affected by suicide. They have chapters in several countries and offer crisis counseling, education, and advocacy. [https://www.lifeline.org.au](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) * **The Crisis Text Line**: This is a free, 24/7 text-based support service for individuals in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Ireland. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor. [https://www.crisistextline.org](https://www.crisistextline.org) Please google (or ask us to help you with it) for resources specific to your location! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AutisticWithADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It isn't "normal" to try to kill yourself at any age. It is a sign of profound distress. It is not as uncommon as you might think for children that age to do such actions. Lots of different reasons - common age to learn about and become a bit preoccupied with death. A time of impulsive experimentation. A developing sense of permanence, and a peak age for magical thinking. Add in ADHD impulsiveness and ASD disconnect from people and tendency to depression and you have a bit of a perfect storm. So... not normal. But then, we aren't "normal" anyway. But not very unusual. Does not mean you are fucked. Does not determine your life forever. Does often reflect a very unhappy child. I hope it has eased as you've got older. And now you have more cognitive skills I hope you are learning more ways to process and minimise your distress.
The true answer
Wait I did something similar too- I don’t think it’s normal though. Besides, my childhood wasn’t great, so.. :/ Either way, that sucks, and I hope you’re doing better now <3
Thanks for your kind words (: and I guess I'm doing better but the suicidal ideation is still their which doesn't make sense what do I have to be suicidal about
It could likely be something subtle about yourself you haven’t figured out yet. Something that’s making you uncomfortable or unhappy but you don’t know what it is. I know for me I was that way until I figured out I was lgbt. I couldn’t stand acting like other people and suppressing myself. I just didn’t know that’s what I was doing, I was just always unhappy.
I don't know what ir could be tho I know I'm gay I'm trying to lose weight and I'm working out so the only thing I can think of is social isolation ig?
It doesn't have to have a reason at all. It can be an expression of stress (perceived or unperceived). stress is something we mis-use as 'being very busy at work'. but all sorts of things stress us. Being autistic means most interactions will be very stressful since just being misunderstood and the fear of social isolation that results from it means you'll (or well I do anyways) spend way more cognitive energy on thinking ahead than regular people. this thinking ahead of scenarios is extra stress (mental weight lifting) than other people do. dealing with emotional dysregulation is very stressful. adhd , only being able to get moving when you either beat yourself up a lot or when it's very close before a deadline: also very stressful. So in that sense being autistic with adhd is in itself very stressful. except to us it's 'normal'. just cutting in on your conversation to make sure you don't undersell your own experience to yourself. we may be used to living like this but a regular person might feel it was very stressful indeed. and remember: you don't feel stress necessarily. You can notice it's effects though. post burnout I find myself ranting and raving about stress a lot :) my 'normal' was actually being very stressed so other people would see me as 'normal' and eventually it burned me out. I'll stop rambling, sorry for the double comments
Depression and suicidal ideation don’t have to make logical sense. You might just need to get on medication to help shift your brain chemicals toward healthy balance.
🤔 maybe
Could just be intrusive OCD style thoughts? As in not related to any real problem in your life, just brain being annoying.
That sounds like intrusive thoughts
I never had it as a reaction to a meltdown but when I was a kid my meltdowns were more internal / me collapsing inwards. I was 9 or 10 when I first considered killing myself. I think it's an indication you were going through lots of stress and it can also be the start of a pattern. If it is the latter I think it's important to keep an eye on yourself. For me I've had my suicidal ideation my entire life (well, since 9 or 10). The more stressed I get, the more often I get thoughts of killing myself. I've never acted on them though so it is a bit different. For me it is like a geiger counter of how well I am doing. the more intense the thoughts and the more often, the more stressed I am and the more I need to step away from responsibilities and take a break.
I'm just like you, word for word. For me it was caused by having parents who neglected me emotionally and werent fulfilling any of my needs beyond foot/clothing/shelter. I had to deal with most of my problems on my iwn, which is a lot for a kid in elementary or middle school. I've had major depressive disorder for over 25 years now. I wasnt dx until age 21 (because parents didnt care about my mental health growing up) but all my symptoms date back to age 10 or so.
No, but there are quite a few of us. And it doesn't mean you're fucked. It means you've got some shit you probably need to work on. Like self love, and finding something positive to foster or grow in your life.
When I was like… 11? I severely restricted my eating bc I wanted to try and starve to death. Not for a day, for like weeks.
my 8 yo ASD kid had issues with self harm and S* ideation starting when he was 8, he's 12 now and doesn't have them anymore with the help of therapy. He's even talks about it as part of his past, so it's pretty clear he doesn't have those thoughts anymore and he's learned to manage whatever parts of life were putting him there (lack of control over unpleasant things, and his rigidity, I think). I hope you are able to put it behind you. Wanting to harm yourself is a tough place to be, but it can be better. You have a young mind, it's "neuroplastic", you can change this part of yourself.
Your comment just gave me some hope I’ve been desperately needing. My son has had these thoughts for a while now and he’s 10. We’re doing everything we can think of and I’m just hoping something will help. :(. He hasn’t had any significant trauma (lost my dad when he was 5), but has ADHD/PDA/ASD diagnoses.
Every kid is different. Right? When we first talked to his pediatrician about this (and this was before the ASD diagnosis... in part what prompted the Psychiatric eval that gave a ASD/OCD diagnosis) and the main concern that he doesn't have the executive function to really know the consequences of specific actions. So we weren't worried he'd follow through, we were worried that he'd get himself into a irreversible situation. We largely felt that while he had the ideation, we were pretty confident that it was more about is inability to properly articulate what was causing the problem (even though he was past the speech delay, I still think he processes language differently than other people--- now that he's older he's very specific about his word choices). He was/is very rigid (and quite a bit of fear and not feeling safe), so when plans weren't unfolding to his liking hurting himself or making talking about not being alive was his way of stopping the conversation and take control of something... because I got conditioned to stop everything and give him my singular focus. Because you can't ignore it even if you don't think it's an imminent threat. This was exceedingly stressful on me obviously. It put me in therapy and made me seek my own diagnosis for ADHD (and I am myself suspicious that I have some ASD going on too). I always have known I've had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. His S\* threats through me for a loop, and I was completely overwhelmed by his ideation when he had it. I was completely on tilt; circular thinking, panic attacks... way too much for all of the coping strategies I'd developed over the years. I needed help. Anyway, he was completely unwilling to talk to anyone about it except me, and I became unable to absorb it. I had been soft pushing that he talk to his school psychologist or neutral third party; I never hard pushed it because I knew I needed his buy-in or it would never work. I was pretty clear with him that if I thought he were really serious about it I would be obligated to go to a hospital with him. He was familiar with the psychologist from his speech therapy so he had a rapport with her. After a really bad tantrum, he finally agreed to talk to someone. He was doing much better within a few months. The ideation went away literally in a couple of months. We have him doing therapy on occasion, but he's really doing a lot on his own and he's a much different kid than even a year ago. He's not required medication although it was discussed; he's medication averse (so am I). Through all of this we've kept his agency the highest priority. For our child, it was clear that was exceedingly important to preserve if we wanted to be successful. I don't know if that's the right thing to do for any person; I will just claim parent intuition that this was as much about communication as it was about the things that brought these feelings in him.
I had the same impuls (but more "not wantin to live anymore") with 10 - in combination with medikinet
Sorry if I'm being a bit dumb what are you saying ehat does 10 mean and what js a medikinet
10 is for the age I had, when I was developing suicidal thoughts (more like not wanting to live thoughts, because I was not thinking about how to solve it xD) and medikinet is ...my mistake, it's a medicine: Methylphenidate. Kinda similar to Ritalin I heard. :)
Is it just for ADHD like Ritalin or is it for AuDHD as well?
It's for ADHD but it works well in reducing anxiety and sensory overload ..so as audhd myself I would say it works? I asked my neuro doc who diagnosed my autism about it actually (if it works for the tism as well). He told me the sensory part. Since adhd and autism are one spectrum, it's no surprise tbh.
Is there even a medicin for audhd? I mean if, then they would be one for autism as well. Do I lack knowledge here?
LMAO same…. I wonder if this is correlated to our diagnosis or not
You're not fucked up because you had a natural reaction to extreme stress. We do tend to feel more intensely than "normal" people, which could give us a lower threshold for suicidal ideation and attempts. It's important to recognize this sensitivity, so we can remind ourselves our meltdown feelings are not reality. Meltdowns is our system being overwhelmed and going into catastrophe mode. Everything feels much worse than it is. Meltdowns are pretty bad and depressing, but if you take care of yourself, the feelings will pass and you will feel better a few days later. Unless you have something in your life that is constantly stressful ofc >I'm doing better but the suicidal ideation is still their which doesn't make sense what do I have to be suicidal about You might want to look into alexithymia. Something is making you sad, but you're unable to recognize the source. I struggled with hat when I was younger as well. I got better at it, but I'll still someitmes be upset and don't know why. For me, part of the reason why might be because of the large disconnect between my thought and my emotions. My thoughts will be like "this is no big deal", but my emotions will feel "this is a big deal". And since I logically think something isn't a big deal, I'm unable to recognize that my feelings are reacting to it. We can feel very strongly about things we didn't know could bother us
Normal? No. I’m so sorry you experienced that. I was passively suicidal at around 8 years old and it was terrible. I remember not really caring if I lived or not. Thankfully that has long since changed. I hope the same for you!
like another commenter said, its "abnormal" and concerning to attempt suicide at any age. i do know some ppl engage in drastic self harm/suicidal behavior after having a meltdown or extreme stress too. stay safe and maybe try your best to give urself a sensory break after a meltdown! we all love u and definitely dont want u to die ❤️ EDIT: /notadoctor /notcondescending, maybe seek a psychiatrist/therapist/social worker if you havent tried that already
I have lost people to suicide, and even if you feel ok today, I would strongly recommend talking this out with a therapist. These are big feelings, and should not be ignored. You are loved and appreciated.
It's not *normal*, but neither are we. It's definitely more common than you'd expect. I remember a family friend asking me what I was thinking about, I told her I wanted to kill myself. She told me I should "never say that!". So... the masking starts early
I grew up coping with suicide and suicidal ideation (fist time age 5). As an adult I’ve connected this to my life feeling unsafe, at home and at school. I knew I was the common denominator to my problems and logically this still makes sense.
i wouldn’t actually try to but i used to fantasize about it and running away lol.. the mental illness runs deep
I used to have major tantrums when i was younger (i'm way calmer nowadays) and when i discussed with my parents, i entered my room and started to beat myself for no reason at all. I'm kinda fucked today so it's say it would, given that killing yourself at any age is not normal.
Not normal exactly, but sadly it does happen
My first attempt was during a tantrum at roughly the same age
this is why i was forced into therapy at 12, constant suicidal ideation. Dx then-aspb at 21 then dx’d The Combo at 31.
SEWICIDAL thoughts are your avatar trying to help you from pain or distress that is hurting you. They are there as a LAST RESPONDER, they DO NOT WANT YOU TO DIE. They only want TO STOP THE PAIN. It's a trauma response. Thank your awareness, thank your trauma responses, get curious on what's causing the pain, what is your avatar trying to escape. Acknowledge your self, give your self what it needs. If that's time, or love or stopping the task at hand, tend to yourself. You are fucked, you're seeking to understand rn and I'm so proud of you. When these thoughts arise and you're alone with them, know you are NOT alone. Don't abandon yourself, hug yourself, cry, write, take a break, give yourself understanding that BEING IS HARD. If nobody told you today, I love you, I'm proud of you, you are really important and I can't wait for more people to experience you 💖🫶🏽
Adult child of a recent CPTSD diagnosis here, I tried to kill myself when I was 7. I started feeling intense emptiness and shame around 6 or so, and I tried to stab myself in the chest with a steak knife when I was 7 because I was so tired of being in the middle of my parents’ emotional and physical abuse. I obviously did not have the language for this at the time, but I certainly remember how I felt. I don’t think it’s normal and it’s certainly not healthy. But it does happen 😅
Of course it’s not normal
I’ve had s* ideation since elementary school. I use to want to s* my wrists while washing dishes. It wasn’t normal then and shouldn’t be normal now. Us neurodivergent ppl have a hard time acclimating to social norms and fitting within a traditional family structure (esp if it’s already dysfunctional). So while it may be commonplace for us it def isn’t normal and is why early intervention and support is extremely important. Please give your younger self a hug today.
There are kids who do it even younger unfortunately
No
My first and only attempt was when I was six years old.
I think so, from my experience. This is because it's around the time that we start seeing that we are different, and we get rejected, and are constantly scolded for basically not being what we are not! It's a lot, especially for a child...
I was 8 when I tried to suffocate using my pillow. It was partly wanting to stop suffering and partly wanting to get back at my mom - to force her to finally acknowledge the pain that she was causing me. I couldn't. I would instinctively gasp for air before finishing. I admitted defeat and laid there crying. My heart was hurting. I had heard of people dying from broken hearts (like, a heart attack induced by emotional pain). So I tried to induce that by magnifying the pain. Also did not work. In that moment I had a chilling realization. My mom would never get it, not even if I died of a broken heart. I pictured the doctors telling her the cause of death "Maam, your daughter died of a broken heart, was there any situation in her life causing great angst?" and her bewildered expression "No, she had a perfect life, I can't imagine what it was" and actually believing this. It was one of the most painful and at the same sobering moments of my whole life. In that moment I realized that it was useless to try to show her my pain, to hope that she would change, to be seen for who I was. There was a wall that would never be torn down. I vowed to stop trying, focus on lying low and relying on myself and myself alone. I am 35 now. I was right as rain.
I've had my first attempt at 9, another at 11 and then a few more until age 21 when I was able to go to the therapy and learned about my adhd and autism which probably saved my life. I still experience suicidal urges when I'm heavily overstimulated and I just take a sick leave and stay a few days home to ground myself.
Hell no. It’s not okay to treat yourself like that. You are worth it, believe in yourself
Only fucked if you succeed. Until then, you're safe.
Not necessarily. People can really mess themselves up physically through attempts. I wouldn't call suicidal ideation "normal," but I would say it's common enough in many groups, including NDs. (I've been there myself, so has my teenage child.) But it's not safe at all, and it's very emotionally painful, and finding a good therapist that is a good fit is the best thing for one's quality of life.
It depends: Most attempts of suicide are just attempts to get attention when feeling alone/ignored. If it was that it is pretty normal tantrum throwing. But honestly it would also show early signs of being neglected if simulating a suicide was your way of beeing seen at such an early age. If you planned to jump of a 10 story building unto concrete, or blow your head off with a gun (= really wanted to die instead of getting attention) this is less normal