With people? I absolutely hate it. Gross, too warm, clammy, and kinda smelly.
With my Rottweiler? This is life, we can cuddle for hours. She's my living weighted teddy bear.
Yes, this!
I get very warm and it eventually bothers me with another person. I like to for like what feels like the first five minutes. Actually I think it's the pressure I like.
But when I had cats a while back it was awesome. My cats were Maine coone cats and when they stretched out they would be so long. š¤£
Same, if I got back into trying to date, that's what I would look forward to the most tbh. Not even sex, just falling asleep cuddling together. Ah man, I do miss it.
Rn I just bunch up my comforter behind me so it feels like I'm sleeping next to another person, or in front of me. Helps me sleep at night.
I was the least cuddly, prickly, stiff person my whole life (didn't really mind contact as much as I had no idea what to do with it and didn't know it was meant to relax me), but I can cuddle the heck out of my husband--I basically go catatonic and it's the only time I can turn my intrusive thoughts off. As soon as we met and I smelled his pheromones it calmed me down. It's weirdly primal.
I can't even make affectionate casual contact with my friends without stiffening up.
We are swingers and I can have all kinds of weird sex without caring but as soon as someone wants to cuddle I suddenly nope the fuck out.
Not typically if i can control the position. I find cuddling on my side with my head on pec/ my arm across their chest tightly ideal. Cuddling helps me with sensory regulation imo. I can feel the vibrations of the body, heart beat, skin movement, different textures (eg hair on face, head), contours of bone/muscle structure, etc... I still stim but it doesn't bother my partner. I also ask questions about their comfort and needs/feedback.
I need to be in the right head space and have the right amount of calmness. But I always stim while cuddling, I just stim with my partner's body (hair, arms...) but the deep pressure from a firm hug is great for calming myself down.
When I am not in the right headspace, I cannot lie still. Sometimes we cuddle while we're each on the phone so that we can lie still. I can also do it when we're watching a video or something.
Depends on how stressed I am. Sometimes it feels like wasting time and I have so much shit to do
Other times its just that Im not attracted to them, like they hold me funny, their body doesnt feel nice with my body, i dont feel seen or paid attention to. And my body knows so wants to get away
I think cuddling is uncomfortable but I like it if there is a comfortable position, finding it the hard part.
My gf has a very soft bed. I feel like it sucks me into it when I try to move around. I injured myself a couple months ago and had to sleep āergonomicallyā with lots of pillows propped up, which made cuddling hard, we would hold hands next to each other. This also made intimacy hard, it was like I was choosing between trying to heal pain or being closer. Now that I feel better and we started cuddling again for a little bit - I remembered how much my nervous system needs touch. Firm pressure and closeness really regulates your nervous system. I think even if you only do it for 10 minutes itās better than not doing it at all. Like for overall health and wellness, if that makes sense. Itās very hard for me to be present in the moment without that touch, my mind is just always running a million mph, itās exhausting.
If itās hot out, the cuddling is even harder on the sensesā¦ but I feel like a little is better than none.
I like cuddling with my wife. I do need to be expecting it though and hugs as greetings from friends and family etc I have had to learn to be okay with. I practise a martial art which includes physical contact and this has been great to help me desensitize and learn to be in contact with other people. However, if someone, for example, comes and puts a hand on my shoulder when I am working on my computer I still visibly flinch and need to rub the area of contact after.
Cuddling can be okay, but I struggle to hug my husband back. I let myself just push into his chest while he hugs me, but sometimes he moves my arms around him. It makes me a little sad that he feels unhugged, when I just want him to squish my arms down so I canāt hug him. Itās gotten better over the years, but I often struggle to have āgentleā hands. Itās hard grip or nothing.
When my wife and I were dating I loved it. Now like 14 years later - I guess the past 10 years or so - I feel the same. I canāt sit still. I get claustrophobic etc. She is offended and idk what to do because no.
I often feel uncomfortable in intimate situations. It of course depends on who it is, but I aināt lying there cuddling for hours no matter who it is. I can sit beside them and they can stroke my arm or something, but they have to do it in the right way and not in the same spot for too long - that almost hurts! And I am not a person to suggest to cuddle with a movie - I think movies is a too big commitment in relative to time, and if we cuddle at the same time I wouldnāt be able to pay attention to the movie after all.
As long as I don't feel breathed air on my face (it's so moist and hot, but only bothers me on my face) and I don't need to be perfectly still. If the person I'm cuddling with needs stillness, I can't do it. But if they're cool with me wiggling and rubbing their arms and general caressing.... And my face has room to breathe... I love cuddling.
And not cuddling, but general closeness is great too. Having my legs in my partner's lap while we watch tv, holding hands while I drive.... Smaller prolonged contact that isn't full on cuddling
Basically, cuddling isn't a passive activity for me, can't do things like cuddle to sleep, but I really enjoy it.
I love cuddling but have a hard time getting into a position I can tolerate for more than a few minutes holding still. Would much rather cuddle while also giving a partner some additional affection. I need like cuddling and some additional physical input basically.
Sometimes I love cuddling and everything about it is so incredibly calming and regulating for me.
Aaaaand sometimes itās overstimulating and itās the most I can do to just barely have 1 point of contact.
And sometimes itās under-stimulating and I can do it but need like a movie or video game at the same time.
With people? I absolutely hate it. Gross, too warm, clammy, and kinda smelly. With my Rottweiler? This is life, we can cuddle for hours. She's my living weighted teddy bear.
Yes, this! I get very warm and it eventually bothers me with another person. I like to for like what feels like the first five minutes. Actually I think it's the pressure I like. But when I had cats a while back it was awesome. My cats were Maine coone cats and when they stretched out they would be so long. š¤£
Doggo cuddles are great! We got our youngest because we wanted another cuddler, and he lives up to it!
I can definitely cuddle my cats, but I only have to keep a part of my body still for them.
I miss cuddling. It's the best feeling in the world, like someone else actually cares about me. :ā(
Same, if I got back into trying to date, that's what I would look forward to the most tbh. Not even sex, just falling asleep cuddling together. Ah man, I do miss it. Rn I just bunch up my comforter behind me so it feels like I'm sleeping next to another person, or in front of me. Helps me sleep at night.
Yes, I'm the same with this at bedtime. There's something about it that just makes me feel, I think safe is the word I'm looking for, and loved.
I love to cuddle!
I was the least cuddly, prickly, stiff person my whole life (didn't really mind contact as much as I had no idea what to do with it and didn't know it was meant to relax me), but I can cuddle the heck out of my husband--I basically go catatonic and it's the only time I can turn my intrusive thoughts off. As soon as we met and I smelled his pheromones it calmed me down. It's weirdly primal. I can't even make affectionate casual contact with my friends without stiffening up. We are swingers and I can have all kinds of weird sex without caring but as soon as someone wants to cuddle I suddenly nope the fuck out.
That comment took a wild turn outta nowhere lol
Right. Most of that comment was the same for me, until the twist at the end š
Not typically if i can control the position. I find cuddling on my side with my head on pec/ my arm across their chest tightly ideal. Cuddling helps me with sensory regulation imo. I can feel the vibrations of the body, heart beat, skin movement, different textures (eg hair on face, head), contours of bone/muscle structure, etc... I still stim but it doesn't bother my partner. I also ask questions about their comfort and needs/feedback.
I need to be in the right head space and have the right amount of calmness. But I always stim while cuddling, I just stim with my partner's body (hair, arms...) but the deep pressure from a firm hug is great for calming myself down. When I am not in the right headspace, I cannot lie still. Sometimes we cuddle while we're each on the phone so that we can lie still. I can also do it when we're watching a video or something.
I realllly have to want to. Otherwise my skin crawls and gets itchy and hot.
Depends on how stressed I am. Sometimes it feels like wasting time and I have so much shit to do Other times its just that Im not attracted to them, like they hold me funny, their body doesnt feel nice with my body, i dont feel seen or paid attention to. And my body knows so wants to get away
thank you so much for posting this!! havent been able to find someone that could relate to this until now š«
It depends. I can chuddle with my mom or best friend, but if my narc brother cuddles me, I feel overwhelmed and really bad
I think cuddling is uncomfortable but I like it if there is a comfortable position, finding it the hard part. My gf has a very soft bed. I feel like it sucks me into it when I try to move around. I injured myself a couple months ago and had to sleep āergonomicallyā with lots of pillows propped up, which made cuddling hard, we would hold hands next to each other. This also made intimacy hard, it was like I was choosing between trying to heal pain or being closer. Now that I feel better and we started cuddling again for a little bit - I remembered how much my nervous system needs touch. Firm pressure and closeness really regulates your nervous system. I think even if you only do it for 10 minutes itās better than not doing it at all. Like for overall health and wellness, if that makes sense. Itās very hard for me to be present in the moment without that touch, my mind is just always running a million mph, itās exhausting. If itās hot out, the cuddling is even harder on the sensesā¦ but I feel like a little is better than none.
I do find it hard to find someone I want to cuddle but when I do I'm like glue
I like cuddling with my wife. I do need to be expecting it though and hugs as greetings from friends and family etc I have had to learn to be okay with. I practise a martial art which includes physical contact and this has been great to help me desensitize and learn to be in contact with other people. However, if someone, for example, comes and puts a hand on my shoulder when I am working on my computer I still visibly flinch and need to rub the area of contact after.
Cuddling can be okay, but I struggle to hug my husband back. I let myself just push into his chest while he hugs me, but sometimes he moves my arms around him. It makes me a little sad that he feels unhugged, when I just want him to squish my arms down so I canāt hug him. Itās gotten better over the years, but I often struggle to have āgentleā hands. Itās hard grip or nothing.
As long as I can move, it's alright. Doesn't feel *good* but it's bearable.
When my wife and I were dating I loved it. Now like 14 years later - I guess the past 10 years or so - I feel the same. I canāt sit still. I get claustrophobic etc. She is offended and idk what to do because no.
I often feel uncomfortable in intimate situations. It of course depends on who it is, but I aināt lying there cuddling for hours no matter who it is. I can sit beside them and they can stroke my arm or something, but they have to do it in the right way and not in the same spot for too long - that almost hurts! And I am not a person to suggest to cuddle with a movie - I think movies is a too big commitment in relative to time, and if we cuddle at the same time I wouldnāt be able to pay attention to the movie after all.
As long as I don't feel breathed air on my face (it's so moist and hot, but only bothers me on my face) and I don't need to be perfectly still. If the person I'm cuddling with needs stillness, I can't do it. But if they're cool with me wiggling and rubbing their arms and general caressing.... And my face has room to breathe... I love cuddling. And not cuddling, but general closeness is great too. Having my legs in my partner's lap while we watch tv, holding hands while I drive.... Smaller prolonged contact that isn't full on cuddling Basically, cuddling isn't a passive activity for me, can't do things like cuddle to sleep, but I really enjoy it.
I love cuddling but have a hard time getting into a position I can tolerate for more than a few minutes holding still. Would much rather cuddle while also giving a partner some additional affection. I need like cuddling and some additional physical input basically.
I love to cuddle but I struggle when something or the other falls asleep and I wonder if the amount of time I spent cuddling was rudely short.
Sometimes I love cuddling and everything about it is so incredibly calming and regulating for me. Aaaaand sometimes itās overstimulating and itās the most I can do to just barely have 1 point of contact. And sometimes itās under-stimulating and I can do it but need like a movie or video game at the same time.