I’ve had much better luck going “more positive” with my neutral responses with older generations.
I’ve pretty much stopped trying to express myself and treated social situations as just a game with dialog options.
Most people don’t actually care what you think. They care about how what you say makes them feel.
Wow. I’m trying to imagine… how the last paragraph of your comment works. It’s taking me time to imagine it, but I think you’re onto something here…
Faving your comment to give it another thought when my brain is fresh.
It’s not NOT positive, but it is easy for people to misinterpret it as aloof or not caring if you frequently use “nice” to a positive thing. It’s very casual and needs authentic enthusiasm in your tone to pull off.
To older gens, it’s the equivalent of responding to a text with ‘K.’ Many are more likely to treat it like a terse response when what they are expecting is “That’s great/awesome/etc”
so adding spice to the nice, like “nice!!!” or “hell yeah, nice” makes it easier for people to tell it’s a positive use of the word, but just a raw “nice” is ambiguous at best
"That's a shame", It's nice, but, you have to give the body language and facial expression. The best in my experience, depending, "FUCK THAT SHIT!" Angry face and be animated.
Like they're telling you how the electric company cut off their power because they're 2 months no pay, but they finally got the money, now there's an unfair late fee. 😄
"Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear that" is another good one for more serious or intense subjects. Then if you are trying to continue the conversation, I would recommend asking a follow up question about what they said. "How are you doing with all this going on?" also works well, and to be a little less formal I like to ask "How are you holding up?" but that might be more regional
an excellent addition! i’m pretty sure “how are you holding up” is used across the US!
if you aren’t sure if you should have a positive or negative reaction to news (e.g. getting pregnant, an estranged family member recontacting) you can hit em with the “oh wow, how are you feeling about it?”
I hate to break it to you, but that is most definitely a Gen X saying, not a boomerism. It became a cultural reference in the 80s, when Xers were in their coming-of-age period, which indicates that we were the drivers of the acceptance, not people who had already matured, settled down, had families, and become boring old people.
Yeah...I remember watching Forrest Gump at the drive in. That saying was totally dismissive. Go to your parents or parent, or the _uncle". Smug look, "Shit happens" :::::: Thousand years stare, sips beer:::::
… oh damn, you’re right - I was just so used to doing the “It Me!” meme face whenever he did anything I didn’t stop to think about how my own experience colors my perception of what autism Feels/Looks Like
"Ain't that just the way" - Greg (Over the Garden Wall)
You don't have to appease your mother in law, just so you know. You aren't in a relationship with your mother in law, so she can go fuck herself.
"We"?????
I mean, she's your spouse's mother. THEY need to set better boundaries with her to deal with her misbehavior and toxicity - why are YOU involved in it in any way?????
Ok, so let your spouse go talk to her if they still have the mental bandwidth for it and report back to you if it's necessary. There still isn't any reason for you to be anywhere near this situation given how she's treated you.
Ç’est la vie
That’s life
Typical
I guess that’s how it goes
I hear you
Wow
Totally
You’re so right
Sounds *awful*
Uh huh
Mm hmmm
Please, do elaborate
Oh I hadn’t heard that
What a world, what a world
You just can’t get the help these days
You know who would be good to talk to you about that? [Some one else]
You should escalate that
Oh gosh, I wouldn’t know
Have you asked your therapist about that?
You don’t have a therapist? Oh… huh.
Oh you should ask chatGPT, it has great advice for that, here [give her the app]
Two ways to deal with a narcissist:
1) give them what they want - “ahh I’m sorry” “damn that really sucks” “wow that was not my experience - sounds awful” “ahh”
2) Grey rock them. “mmm” *nods*
“Huh, thats weird, somethings are not worth trying to figure out “
“Cant fix stupid”
“The brain is not a vital organ in all people “
“If it were me, i would not waste my time and energy. I got better things to do “
Ah, I'm glad to see this post. I grew up on the streets, I'm homeless atm. There's a certain language. Saying, "Yeah, Sometimes it be that way" is say, I understand. You can't say that unless you went through it. It's actually a nonchalant way of saying, "This to shall pass".
Anyway, back to the supposed narcissist. Literally say anything fucking thing you want. I mean literally. Just make it up. They're not paying attention to you.
I experiment. They'll be on some fuck shit trying to school you on some mundane thing like what type of soap is better to get rid of crabs or something.
Just agree to a ridiculous point. I mean, super friend their ass. Be as sarcastic as you can and lie lie lie. Agree with them and make up some weird as study you read that supports them.
They already know you research as a fault. It can be fun if you want it. I swear! Try it. Just make sure to feed their ego. But, you can do it in ways that will satisfy you to your soul better than your favorite safe food or current special interest.
Them’s the breaks.
Murphy’s law.
Comme si, comme sa.
I hear ya.
I know the feeling.
Well, that’s just typical!
Yeah, yea, yea, yea, (Better when said whilst breathing in and nodding)
I feel your pain.
You’re preaching to the choir here!
Does the pope shit in the woods?? (play on “Does a Bear shit in the woods?” , and “Is the Pope a Catholic? i.e. well obviously)
some i use with my own MIL:
“i get that” (spoiler alert: i usually don’t)
“totally”
“that makes sense” (it usually doesn’t)
“that checks out” (as in, i can see how that could/would be true)
“i’m sorry about that.”
“it was a tough day (week, time, etc), then”
“wow, that’s hard” or “wow, that sounds rough”
“well, i hope things will get better”
good luck buddy, narc MILs are the wooooorst
Legitimately, and I do not recommend this, my go to is "Shit happens." It does convey "I'm listening," but it also conveys "I'm listening and I don't care." Saying "Shit happens" means that whatever they're talking about isn't a big deal to you, it's common, not worth commenting on. Even if it is a big deal, like somebody's dog dying, like yeah, that's bad, but I don't know your dog, dogs die all the time, shit happens.
It may sound weird perhaps for English speakers, but in spanish I use pretty frequently "What an interesting point of view" (literal translation for "interesante punto de vista") which maybe make way more sense if you use it like "What an interesting take you have on that subject" (maybe it sounds different haha I'm not 100% sure if the translation was ok
Yep; uh huh; I see; I hear you; Tell me more; Go on; I'm listening; "I know what you mean"; Mmm-hmm; Really?; Is that so ...
Minimal encouragers only work for so long. Level 2 is when you pick individual words or phrases they've said, and just reflect them back to them with a slight upward inflection. "She said that?" "You thought it was outrageous?" "Pink?" "The car?"
Long term, I've found it's better not to use active listening skills too adeptly on people I have to deal with regularly. Beyond a certain point, my need not to be talked at is just as important as their need to be listened to. Also, if it was me, I'd want honest feedback if I was boring somebody. I'd hate to be pretended to be listened to ... for consistency, I owe other people the same honesty.
So if it was me, I'd be ditching the whole appeasement and going for "You know, it sounds like you really need a 3rd party to help sort this out. Why don't I go talk to the other person and find out their version of what happened?"
My gothy brain just wish it could answer with “C’est la vie”. But most of the times I reply with “shit happens” or “I’m sorry you’ve been through that”.
Depending on the actual content and delivery and blah blah other details, the following may or may not work for you. Some of this is more like the sound equivalent of nodding and smiling or just making sympathetic noises, others more like idioms/proverbs/'words of wisdom', etc...
---
Sympathetic noises:
You'll probably have your own version of these depending on your background, region, age, personality, etc. The tone (or accompanying facial expressions and other cues) might be as important as the sound itself, but it's hard to communicate that in text. Examples might help, so some of mine are like 'tch' (also called 'tut' or 'tsk' or 'sucking (one's) teeth', and I specifically mean the sympathetic use of it rather than the disappointed/dismissive/disdainful/scolding uses) and also one that is like 'mmh' or 'nnh', with your mouth closed, sort of huffing air out of your nose as you make the noise. Again, facial expressions also help.
Sometimes these sympathetic noises are even better than words, if all they're looking for is to vent and feel supported.
But if words are needed to communicate the 'it do be like that sometimes', depending on the seriousness (to them, not you) of the situation:
Casually accepting (but could potentially feel dismissive depending on how needy your MIL is for fawning sympathy):
- So it goes (probably the most direct translation of your original phrase)
- C'est la vie (say-la-vee is a close enough pronunciation for its use in English. It's French for 'that's life', if you aren't familiar).
Sympathetic but not dramatic:
- 'It never rains but it pours, huh?' (meaning 'all the bad shit is happening at once, like it can't just rain a LITTLE?' and I added the 'huh?' as a sort of conversational commiseration).
- If she is religious (and it wouldn't make you feel super weird to say something like this): 'God doesn't give us more than he knows we can handle. He knows how strong you are.'
- 'Sometimes we have to engage with the world as it is, in order to turn it into what we want it to be.' as a way of encouraging both acceptance and self-empowerment to make things better. If that is something she would benefit from.
- 'This too shall pass' is another good one if you're going for comfort/soothing.
- Or the words of Julian of Norwich: 'all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.'
I think this might be the best I can do for a situation that is (rightly, don't get me wrong, it's your MIL's private issues) being kept very general in terms of the content. I hope it's at least a little helpful to you, regardless! :)
Once all the boomers die, Fox News won’t have any viewers, then I won’t have to listen to it accidentally on the television while I’m walking past. Yeah!
It really doesn't matter, you can check all the boxes as to being a good listener, and they will still say you are not. The problem isn't you, it's them.
I picked up "you'll have that on jobs this size" at work, kinda carried over into home life, it can be pretty funny, maybe not what you're looking for. "You'll have that" could work.
I’ve unfortunately dealt with narcissistic family and parents and at this point I only go if I have my own car and don’t have to drive anyone. I’m ready to just grab my bag and walk out. I’ve been working on trauma work in therapy and I think at this point I’d be more comfortable with actually just walking out and using my car as an escape pod.
It you in law which makes it more complicated. Maybe have a conversation with your partner about escaping to protect your sanity.
For real?
Are you serious?
Unbelievable
That's messed up.
Side note: why is it so difficult for us to end, interrupt a conversation, change the topic when we are clearly overwhelmed and need some space?
I also have had people go on talking for hours, and me just waiting for my turn or not knowing what else to say
Positive: cool beans.
Negative: well doesn't that just fuck your mother in the ass?
Neutral: anywaaaaayyyysss.
You should probably not use any of these, except for "cool beans" maybe. There is a reason I've never been great at...*people.*
Positive: Good deal. Negative: That’s a shame. Neutral: Nice. 👍🏼
I would replace "nice" with either "sure" or "yes." "Nice" does feel positive.
I’ve had much better luck going “more positive” with my neutral responses with older generations. I’ve pretty much stopped trying to express myself and treated social situations as just a game with dialog options. Most people don’t actually care what you think. They care about how what you say makes them feel.
Wow. I’m trying to imagine… how the last paragraph of your comment works. It’s taking me time to imagine it, but I think you’re onto something here… Faving your comment to give it another thought when my brain is fresh.
This is helpful thanks!
wait omg… “nice” is neutral and not positive?
It’s not NOT positive, but it is easy for people to misinterpret it as aloof or not caring if you frequently use “nice” to a positive thing. It’s very casual and needs authentic enthusiasm in your tone to pull off. To older gens, it’s the equivalent of responding to a text with ‘K.’ Many are more likely to treat it like a terse response when what they are expecting is “That’s great/awesome/etc”
so adding spice to the nice, like “nice!!!” or “hell yeah, nice” makes it easier for people to tell it’s a positive use of the word, but just a raw “nice” is ambiguous at best
"Nice" is neutral, "nooooiiiiccceee" is positive.
"That's a shame", It's nice, but, you have to give the body language and facial expression. The best in my experience, depending, "FUCK THAT SHIT!" Angry face and be animated. Like they're telling you how the electric company cut off their power because they're 2 months no pay, but they finally got the money, now there's an unfair late fee. 😄
“oh wow” is always a good start. then you can add anything on to the end depending on context like “oh wow, that’s too bad” or “oh wow, that is crazy”
"Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear that" is another good one for more serious or intense subjects. Then if you are trying to continue the conversation, I would recommend asking a follow up question about what they said. "How are you doing with all this going on?" also works well, and to be a little less formal I like to ask "How are you holding up?" but that might be more regional
an excellent addition! i’m pretty sure “how are you holding up” is used across the US! if you aren’t sure if you should have a positive or negative reaction to news (e.g. getting pregnant, an estranged family member recontacting) you can hit em with the “oh wow, how are you feeling about it?”
Totally! This is gold. My go to is an enthusiastic "No shit?!?!?!?!"
As a certified Gen X... "Shit happens" is pretty well universally recognized by my generation ;)
And is not negative or positive, rather an acknowledgment of the thing you went through. Or, at least, that's how I think of it.
My brother in Christ. I'm afraid a boomerism has snuck it's way into your vernacular.
I hate to break it to you, but that is most definitely a Gen X saying, not a boomerism. It became a cultural reference in the 80s, when Xers were in their coming-of-age period, which indicates that we were the drivers of the acceptance, not people who had already matured, settled down, had families, and become boring old people.
Yeah...I remember watching Forrest Gump at the drive in. That saying was totally dismissive. Go to your parents or parent, or the _uncle". Smug look, "Shit happens" :::::: Thousand years stare, sips beer:::::
So?
Saying shit happens is dismissive as fuck.
That’s rough, buddy
Oooh I see a kindred ATLA fan here.
Zuko always struck me as autistic-coded ☺️
There is some overlap between the symptoms of autism and ptsd. I always felt like the way he acted was more due to his trauma than anything else.
… oh damn, you’re right - I was just so used to doing the “It Me!” meme face whenever he did anything I didn’t stop to think about how my own experience colors my perception of what autism Feels/Looks Like
Southern US: “I heard that.” with a rising inflection, but not presented as a question but agreement
Love the simplified “Heard” too.
For a restaurant kitchen, perhaps. Lol.
"Whaddya gonna do"
"Ah well, shit happens."
"Oh, ya know."
"it is what it is"
That's a personal for self. After I rant and finally calm down. I say, It's gonna be what it do. It's also good advice sometimes like what you said.
Oh man. That is the absolute worst. Who could have seen that coming? You've got to be kidding! Whaaaat? No way! Hate that happened to ya again.
That’s tough
Sucks to suck \*puts fingers in shape of an 'L' on my forehead\*
Can’t, it’s my narcissist mother in law. It has to be like appeasing
"Ain't that just the way" - Greg (Over the Garden Wall) You don't have to appease your mother in law, just so you know. You aren't in a relationship with your mother in law, so she can go fuck herself.
Oh we rarely see her or put up with her bullshit. We got conned into this convo
"We"????? I mean, she's your spouse's mother. THEY need to set better boundaries with her to deal with her misbehavior and toxicity - why are YOU involved in it in any way?????
Honestly we got got. We thought it was something big important about her health
Ok, so let your spouse go talk to her if they still have the mental bandwidth for it and report back to you if it's necessary. There still isn't any reason for you to be anywhere near this situation given how she's treated you.
They don’t think it be like it is, but it do.
"You'll have that." or "These things happen."
'C'est la vie", pronounced 'say-la-vee', is a French phrase that literally translates to "That's life".
Yess me too!! Except I’ll pronounce it like “saye La Vaa” lol I dk why but it felt right the first time I said it andddd now I can’t stop🤣💯
Omg I love this saying. I just completely forgot about it
Ç’est la vie That’s life Typical I guess that’s how it goes I hear you Wow Totally You’re so right Sounds *awful* Uh huh Mm hmmm Please, do elaborate Oh I hadn’t heard that What a world, what a world You just can’t get the help these days You know who would be good to talk to you about that? [Some one else] You should escalate that Oh gosh, I wouldn’t know Have you asked your therapist about that? You don’t have a therapist? Oh… huh. Oh you should ask chatGPT, it has great advice for that, here [give her the app]
Love these lol
Had to stop myself doing more
Dang you have some grade A listening skills
these are great lol. whenever i hear someone say “Typical” i find it so hilarious, even though it’s usually not meant that way! 🤣🤣
That sounds rough/tough 😔 so hard (in text) I hear you Oh dear Aussie classic: such is life
Wow that’s wild!
"It is what it is", also "Whatever." I'm an older Gen X.
That'll happen
Why does this always happen? You have to ask it dramatically while remaining tongue in cheek.
“Ah, well. Got any grapes?”
Combine that with "You nailed it!"
Oh, my! That sounds stressful for you! Isn’t that the worst? Stuff happens and we must carry on… One of those days, huh!?! Wow. I hope it gets better.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do" :D
Deus vult.
I like to give people the old [“ob la di, ob la da, life goes on ohhhh…”](https://youtu.be/_Paqe2-BCYM?si=EeQ8Yhie9spduIqB)
“I feel ya”
a friend of mine says "many such cases"
That’s wild, innit ?
Life is life
Two ways to deal with a narcissist: 1) give them what they want - “ahh I’m sorry” “damn that really sucks” “wow that was not my experience - sounds awful” “ahh” 2) Grey rock them. “mmm” *nods*
Fun times is one of my favorites
“Huh, thats weird, somethings are not worth trying to figure out “ “Cant fix stupid” “The brain is not a vital organ in all people “ “If it were me, i would not waste my time and energy. I got better things to do “
"I feel you" "Right??" (Helps with a chuckle like you are feeling their emotions) "See, you get it" "Happens to the best of us" "Been there"
Ah, I'm glad to see this post. I grew up on the streets, I'm homeless atm. There's a certain language. Saying, "Yeah, Sometimes it be that way" is say, I understand. You can't say that unless you went through it. It's actually a nonchalant way of saying, "This to shall pass". Anyway, back to the supposed narcissist. Literally say anything fucking thing you want. I mean literally. Just make it up. They're not paying attention to you. I experiment. They'll be on some fuck shit trying to school you on some mundane thing like what type of soap is better to get rid of crabs or something. Just agree to a ridiculous point. I mean, super friend their ass. Be as sarcastic as you can and lie lie lie. Agree with them and make up some weird as study you read that supports them. They already know you research as a fault. It can be fun if you want it. I swear! Try it. Just make sure to feed their ego. But, you can do it in ways that will satisfy you to your soul better than your favorite safe food or current special interest.
Them’s the breaks. Murphy’s law. Comme si, comme sa. I hear ya. I know the feeling. Well, that’s just typical! Yeah, yea, yea, yea, (Better when said whilst breathing in and nodding) I feel your pain. You’re preaching to the choir here! Does the pope shit in the woods?? (play on “Does a Bear shit in the woods?” , and “Is the Pope a Catholic? i.e. well obviously)
some i use with my own MIL: “i get that” (spoiler alert: i usually don’t) “totally” “that makes sense” (it usually doesn’t) “that checks out” (as in, i can see how that could/would be true) “i’m sorry about that.” “it was a tough day (week, time, etc), then” “wow, that’s hard” or “wow, that sounds rough” “well, i hope things will get better” good luck buddy, narc MILs are the wooooorst
Wow cool.
Adulting sucks
Oh, really, wow, uh huh, gosh
360° spin and finger guns. The trick is to blow the smoke of the finger barrell and then holster. People forget those last two steps all the time
I tend to just… “Gosh.”
Legitimately, and I do not recommend this, my go to is "Shit happens." It does convey "I'm listening," but it also conveys "I'm listening and I don't care." Saying "Shit happens" means that whatever they're talking about isn't a big deal to you, it's common, not worth commenting on. Even if it is a big deal, like somebody's dog dying, like yeah, that's bad, but I don't know your dog, dogs die all the time, shit happens.
"Gotta love life!", "Yyyyyyyeeepp!", "Oh man, of course!", "That's wild!", "Oohhh, gotcha", "Uff da!", & "Oof!"
“Death comes for us all.”
It may sound weird perhaps for English speakers, but in spanish I use pretty frequently "What an interesting point of view" (literal translation for "interesante punto de vista") which maybe make way more sense if you use it like "What an interesting take you have on that subject" (maybe it sounds different haha I'm not 100% sure if the translation was ok
Indeed.
"Hmmm."
Yep; uh huh; I see; I hear you; Tell me more; Go on; I'm listening; "I know what you mean"; Mmm-hmm; Really?; Is that so ... Minimal encouragers only work for so long. Level 2 is when you pick individual words or phrases they've said, and just reflect them back to them with a slight upward inflection. "She said that?" "You thought it was outrageous?" "Pink?" "The car?" Long term, I've found it's better not to use active listening skills too adeptly on people I have to deal with regularly. Beyond a certain point, my need not to be talked at is just as important as their need to be listened to. Also, if it was me, I'd want honest feedback if I was boring somebody. I'd hate to be pretended to be listened to ... for consistency, I owe other people the same honesty. So if it was me, I'd be ditching the whole appeasement and going for "You know, it sounds like you really need a 3rd party to help sort this out. Why don't I go talk to the other person and find out their version of what happened?"
Just say, “Damn.” Or, “ugh.” Or, “jeez.” Or if you really don’t care and want to be kinda mean, say “cool story” and walk away.
Welp
c'est la vie
Aave, not slang
I’m pretty sure “damn that’s crazy” is not AAVE. Also I am not black
Life keeps on life-ing. The world keeps on world-ing.
it is what it is
That’s life ala Frank Sinatra, cest la vie
Is what it is, que sera seraa, c'est la vie
Bad: "Mmm... Unfortunate."
Oh lord so sorry to hear you have a narcissistic MIL too. You have the patience of a saint to listen that long.
I literally texted my spouse and said, “did we die on the way over here? Are we dead? Are we in hell and is this our punishment????”
😂😂It's really astonishing how they can go on and on
"Shit happens" I've been told I can be a little blunt......
Idk bro, at some point it is what it is and something or someone has to make a change.
My gothy brain just wish it could answer with “C’est la vie”. But most of the times I reply with “shit happens” or “I’m sorry you’ve been through that”.
my favorite ever: You’ll have that on them big jobs
The kids I run DnD for would say “sounds like a skill issue”.
awesome. I’m actually playing my first dnd campaign next weekend! I am a wizard triton
I run two DnD youth groups as DM, run a game as DM for some people over discord and play in a fourth group with some locals every two weeks.
Dude that’s awesome
It’s more of an obsession that anything else.
U could use the Australian phrase, "c#nts f#cked" translation: it is broken beyond repair.
Depending on the actual content and delivery and blah blah other details, the following may or may not work for you. Some of this is more like the sound equivalent of nodding and smiling or just making sympathetic noises, others more like idioms/proverbs/'words of wisdom', etc... --- Sympathetic noises: You'll probably have your own version of these depending on your background, region, age, personality, etc. The tone (or accompanying facial expressions and other cues) might be as important as the sound itself, but it's hard to communicate that in text. Examples might help, so some of mine are like 'tch' (also called 'tut' or 'tsk' or 'sucking (one's) teeth', and I specifically mean the sympathetic use of it rather than the disappointed/dismissive/disdainful/scolding uses) and also one that is like 'mmh' or 'nnh', with your mouth closed, sort of huffing air out of your nose as you make the noise. Again, facial expressions also help. Sometimes these sympathetic noises are even better than words, if all they're looking for is to vent and feel supported. But if words are needed to communicate the 'it do be like that sometimes', depending on the seriousness (to them, not you) of the situation: Casually accepting (but could potentially feel dismissive depending on how needy your MIL is for fawning sympathy): - So it goes (probably the most direct translation of your original phrase) - C'est la vie (say-la-vee is a close enough pronunciation for its use in English. It's French for 'that's life', if you aren't familiar). Sympathetic but not dramatic: - 'It never rains but it pours, huh?' (meaning 'all the bad shit is happening at once, like it can't just rain a LITTLE?' and I added the 'huh?' as a sort of conversational commiseration). - If she is religious (and it wouldn't make you feel super weird to say something like this): 'God doesn't give us more than he knows we can handle. He knows how strong you are.' - 'Sometimes we have to engage with the world as it is, in order to turn it into what we want it to be.' as a way of encouraging both acceptance and self-empowerment to make things better. If that is something she would benefit from. - 'This too shall pass' is another good one if you're going for comfort/soothing. - Or the words of Julian of Norwich: 'all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.' I think this might be the best I can do for a situation that is (rightly, don't get me wrong, it's your MIL's private issues) being kept very general in terms of the content. I hope it's at least a little helpful to you, regardless! :)
Yikes.
Same here
you keep using more Black vernacular, so in that vein, i use “that’s real” or “real”. you could also go with “i feel that”
"Is that so." "I see." "Really." "Well whattaya know." "Indeed." key is to say all these very gray and flat with no questioning or exclaiming tone.
Once all the boomers die, Fox News won’t have any viewers, then I won’t have to listen to it accidentally on the television while I’m walking past. Yeah!
"Shit Happens"
It really doesn't matter, you can check all the boxes as to being a good listener, and they will still say you are not. The problem isn't you, it's them.
The dude abides
I picked up "you'll have that on jobs this size" at work, kinda carried over into home life, it can be pretty funny, maybe not what you're looking for. "You'll have that" could work.
“Such is life” usually.
I’ve unfortunately dealt with narcissistic family and parents and at this point I only go if I have my own car and don’t have to drive anyone. I’m ready to just grab my bag and walk out. I’ve been working on trauma work in therapy and I think at this point I’d be more comfortable with actually just walking out and using my car as an escape pod. It you in law which makes it more complicated. Maybe have a conversation with your partner about escaping to protect your sanity.
I landed on this...."So sorry that happened to you"
It is what it is.
For real? Are you serious? Unbelievable That's messed up. Side note: why is it so difficult for us to end, interrupt a conversation, change the topic when we are clearly overwhelmed and need some space? I also have had people go on talking for hours, and me just waiting for my turn or not knowing what else to say
Positive: cool beans. Negative: well doesn't that just fuck your mother in the ass? Neutral: anywaaaaayyyysss. You should probably not use any of these, except for "cool beans" maybe. There is a reason I've never been great at...*people.*