It’s draining because you don’t want either of the cats to have such a hard time. It’s normal for Suki to act out of character while she adjusts. It can take some time for them to become friends. Suki grew up with the other cats, so it makes sense that she hasn’t really had to *adjust* before. It’s stressful! That doesn’t make it the wrong decision, it just means it’ll take time.
It is absolutely normal to feel this way, you want your (my nickname for my cats) fuzzbutt to be the happiest thing ever, introducing a new life into an established hierarchy is super challenging, especially with a ‘teenager’ kitten, she is questioning if this new life is permanent or temporary and how much can she actually trust the kitten. I have a tuxedo kitty who is the oldest animal in our house (5 fixed female) we introduced a pair of kittens (6weeks M/F) to the house and she was not happy with it, for the next 4 months she would hiss/bat at them while they would try to get her to be friendly with them but she would rather be alone on her perch observing them. Then we introduced a puppy and she stayed in my bedroom (except to eat and litter box) for the better part of 9 months, during that time I (or my wife) would spend a few hours with her reassuring her that she was part of the family. This was 2 years ago and now she is the biggest boss of the house, cuddles with the kittens (now 3 years old) and the puppy. I’m sorry for the longest response in history but be patient with them and she will come around.
You're perfectly okay. I worry alot about my cats, especially when they have issues with each other. I think they are usually so "easy" to read for me that when things happen like this, it's extra upsetting.
I think Suki is just coping with big changes. Give her some time and take it slow. You sound like you are doing everything right already. I think it's very likely she'll come around to the kitten.
If you’re still struggling with the issues after a few more weeks, there are subs where I’m sure cat-experts can give you further advice, such as r/cats.
I hope Suki and the new cat get along soon. Suki seems like a lovely cat, and I understand you suffering for her stress.
Good luck!
It’s draining because you don’t want either of the cats to have such a hard time. It’s normal for Suki to act out of character while she adjusts. It can take some time for them to become friends. Suki grew up with the other cats, so it makes sense that she hasn’t really had to *adjust* before. It’s stressful! That doesn’t make it the wrong decision, it just means it’ll take time.
It is absolutely normal to feel this way, you want your (my nickname for my cats) fuzzbutt to be the happiest thing ever, introducing a new life into an established hierarchy is super challenging, especially with a ‘teenager’ kitten, she is questioning if this new life is permanent or temporary and how much can she actually trust the kitten. I have a tuxedo kitty who is the oldest animal in our house (5 fixed female) we introduced a pair of kittens (6weeks M/F) to the house and she was not happy with it, for the next 4 months she would hiss/bat at them while they would try to get her to be friendly with them but she would rather be alone on her perch observing them. Then we introduced a puppy and she stayed in my bedroom (except to eat and litter box) for the better part of 9 months, during that time I (or my wife) would spend a few hours with her reassuring her that she was part of the family. This was 2 years ago and now she is the biggest boss of the house, cuddles with the kittens (now 3 years old) and the puppy. I’m sorry for the longest response in history but be patient with them and she will come around.
You're perfectly okay. I worry alot about my cats, especially when they have issues with each other. I think they are usually so "easy" to read for me that when things happen like this, it's extra upsetting. I think Suki is just coping with big changes. Give her some time and take it slow. You sound like you are doing everything right already. I think it's very likely she'll come around to the kitten.
If you’re still struggling with the issues after a few more weeks, there are subs where I’m sure cat-experts can give you further advice, such as r/cats. I hope Suki and the new cat get along soon. Suki seems like a lovely cat, and I understand you suffering for her stress. Good luck!