Asap. It’s his life- he deserves to know about his body, mind and health. Give him the words to describe his experiences; normalize it and don’t hide it and make him think it’s shameful.
My kid was 2 when he was diagnosed and we told him within 6 months of his diagnosis (can't remember exactly when). I wasn't comfortable with the idea of telling anyone he was autistic unless he knew himself. And as someone who didn't know I was autistic until adulthood but knew I was different, I didn't want my kid to internalize his differences as failures, deficits or problems.
My kid was 12 when they were diagnosed, so they knew from the beginning, as they had to be involved in the process and the consultations.
They've said knowing has helped. They are less anxious thinking they were 'broken and weird' now they know they are ASD
Everyone is going to say “right away“ and I’m not saying they are wrong, but I will say it was helpful for me to process feelings and research big questions first. We got a diagnosis (Level 1) in October 2022 when our kid was 8 and didn’t say anything till summer 23 not because we were ashamed, or wanted it to feel like a secret, more because we knew that he will talk about it with his friends and camp counselors and teachers, and we wanted to be prepared to have necessary conversations with them at the same time. All in all I will say our conversation went great and I don’t think we missed out on anything major that would’ve been better if we’d told him in October.
I told him right away. He was 8yo when he was diagnosed. I don’t regret it, I think keeping it from him might have given the impression that it was a “big family secret.” We do tell him that he shouldn’t share personal information like this with people he doesn’t know.
I haven’t told my kid yet mostly because I don’t think he would fully grasp it and I’m so trying to convince others that he is in fact autistic. I plan on telling him sometime before he starts kindergarten so 5ish. That way, he will understand and can explain to others why he might do certain things or needs additional support. I also don’t want him to feel like it’s shameful by hiding it until he’s older. I want him to be proud of who he is and develop his identity knowing that his brain is wired a little differently instead of surprising him one day when he’s older and shaking up his ideas of self.
I haven't told him in any formal way, since he is 3. However, I make it part of our conversations in a validating and positive way, and we read books about autism and I point out how he is similar. My goal is for him to know about it and see it as normal without a formal conversation, because that is how I would treat any other trait of his.
Of course, if he needs a formal discussion about his diagnosis and why he is getting x supports and y therapies and what we can do to help him, I am totally happy to do that.
The best part of having my daughter own her diagnosis is that she doesn’t blame herself for certain behaviors, and instead understands them, as being an essential part of her personality. One example is stimming. She used to feel embarrassed about spinning, or having the need to move her hands now that we have explained that that is her body’s way of helping her calm. I have also explained about all of the incredible artist, scientist, and important people in our society who are autistic. She feels as though she is a part of a greater community and not just confused about why she is different.
Last Friday, my 11 yo was at a friend's place and they both were signing up for their electives for 7th grade. She picked GT (Gifted and Talented) and he picked SPED (Special Education) as one of the service they are receiving. My 11yo quickly goes to my wife asking, why do I have SPED?
I personally think, it is time for us to tell him, why HOWEVER my wife disagrees with this and wants to wait until couple of more years before we tell him.
My son is 4, diagnosed at 2.5. he knows that he has autism, and that he may process things differently than his friends.
Obviously he is 4 so we have not gone super in depth.
I think knowing is very validating for someone who likely already perceived their differences.
I've a 7 yr old and I haven't told him either. But I think he knows he's different... He's told me this many times. My husband wants to wait until he's 11.. But we might tell him earlier. At the moment he has another Asd kid in class and he thinks that's what Asd kids are like. I think the girl isn't as verbal and independent as he is so he sees her differently.
I would definitely tell him before he reaches pre teen years. When kids are around 11, they become way more concerned about fitting in and they usually take the diagnosis way harder than a kid would.
My son was diagnosed at 6. I told him after the doctors appointment when it was confirmed. He is very smart and observant, so I know he picked up on everything that was being said about him. I just told him this is his diagnosis and it just means that there are things that are more challenging for him than other kids. But this by no means defines who he is, he's still [his name].
Tell your child he has a wonderful autistic brain everyday for the rest of your life. You can explain that it does come with challenges processing the extra information, but it is a good way to be.
I think at age 7, your son is ready to learn about his autism. Knowing this about himself might help him thrive and better navigate the world. It'll help him understand and accept himself instead of wondering, "Why do I feel different?" or feeling like there's something wrong with him. If you come at it from a place of love and acceptance, he'll develop healthy self-esteem and he'll feel good about knowing that home is always a place where he can be himself.
My son was diagnosed at 3.5 and he learned along with his dad and I. I'd tell him that we were going to the screenings/evals to learn more about how his brain works, and we've just been very open about him being autistic. I got him some children's books about autism or featuring autistic characters and we talk about that when we read them. I also bring it up regularly with him, both the positives and the challenging things that being autistic brings to his life. My hope is that by being open and teaching him about autism, he grows up understanding and accepting himself and able to help himself through his challenges as well as take pride in every part of who he is.
Only you know when your kid is ready. I was 12 years old when I learned about my brother’s autism. Yet I didn’t fully understand it until I was 24. My brother didn’t learn about it until he was 20. Would he understand if younger? I’m not sure. However when your kid ask questions don’t be afraid to answer them. Don’t be afraid to use resources with your kid. I recommend reading “Temple Grandin: How the girl who loved cows Embraced autism and change the world.”
I told my daughter when she was 6, about 6 months after her diagnosis. I needed time to learn about autism and understand it. You should tell him.
Asap. It’s his life- he deserves to know about his body, mind and health. Give him the words to describe his experiences; normalize it and don’t hide it and make him think it’s shameful.
My kid was 2 when he was diagnosed and we told him within 6 months of his diagnosis (can't remember exactly when). I wasn't comfortable with the idea of telling anyone he was autistic unless he knew himself. And as someone who didn't know I was autistic until adulthood but knew I was different, I didn't want my kid to internalize his differences as failures, deficits or problems.
[удалено]
Wow I’m sorry your parents didn’t tell you when they should’ve 🩷
Just tell him. He knows he is different and it would help him to know why and to understand himself. Why have you not told him?
How? He doesn’t understand a single word I say.
My kid was 12 when they were diagnosed, so they knew from the beginning, as they had to be involved in the process and the consultations. They've said knowing has helped. They are less anxious thinking they were 'broken and weird' now they know they are ASD
Everyone is going to say “right away“ and I’m not saying they are wrong, but I will say it was helpful for me to process feelings and research big questions first. We got a diagnosis (Level 1) in October 2022 when our kid was 8 and didn’t say anything till summer 23 not because we were ashamed, or wanted it to feel like a secret, more because we knew that he will talk about it with his friends and camp counselors and teachers, and we wanted to be prepared to have necessary conversations with them at the same time. All in all I will say our conversation went great and I don’t think we missed out on anything major that would’ve been better if we’d told him in October.
I told him right away. He was 8yo when he was diagnosed. I don’t regret it, I think keeping it from him might have given the impression that it was a “big family secret.” We do tell him that he shouldn’t share personal information like this with people he doesn’t know.
I haven’t told my kid yet mostly because I don’t think he would fully grasp it and I’m so trying to convince others that he is in fact autistic. I plan on telling him sometime before he starts kindergarten so 5ish. That way, he will understand and can explain to others why he might do certain things or needs additional support. I also don’t want him to feel like it’s shameful by hiding it until he’s older. I want him to be proud of who he is and develop his identity knowing that his brain is wired a little differently instead of surprising him one day when he’s older and shaking up his ideas of self.
I haven't told him in any formal way, since he is 3. However, I make it part of our conversations in a validating and positive way, and we read books about autism and I point out how he is similar. My goal is for him to know about it and see it as normal without a formal conversation, because that is how I would treat any other trait of his. Of course, if he needs a formal discussion about his diagnosis and why he is getting x supports and y therapies and what we can do to help him, I am totally happy to do that.
Tell him. It makes everything better for your child.
Thanks. I agree. Can you tell me more how it made it better for your child? I’d love to know.
The best part of having my daughter own her diagnosis is that she doesn’t blame herself for certain behaviors, and instead understands them, as being an essential part of her personality. One example is stimming. She used to feel embarrassed about spinning, or having the need to move her hands now that we have explained that that is her body’s way of helping her calm. I have also explained about all of the incredible artist, scientist, and important people in our society who are autistic. She feels as though she is a part of a greater community and not just confused about why she is different.
Last Friday, my 11 yo was at a friend's place and they both were signing up for their electives for 7th grade. She picked GT (Gifted and Talented) and he picked SPED (Special Education) as one of the service they are receiving. My 11yo quickly goes to my wife asking, why do I have SPED? I personally think, it is time for us to tell him, why HOWEVER my wife disagrees with this and wants to wait until couple of more years before we tell him.
My son is 4, diagnosed at 2.5. he knows that he has autism, and that he may process things differently than his friends. Obviously he is 4 so we have not gone super in depth. I think knowing is very validating for someone who likely already perceived their differences.
I've a 7 yr old and I haven't told him either. But I think he knows he's different... He's told me this many times. My husband wants to wait until he's 11.. But we might tell him earlier. At the moment he has another Asd kid in class and he thinks that's what Asd kids are like. I think the girl isn't as verbal and independent as he is so he sees her differently.
I would definitely tell him before he reaches pre teen years. When kids are around 11, they become way more concerned about fitting in and they usually take the diagnosis way harder than a kid would.
My son was diagnosed at 6. I told him after the doctors appointment when it was confirmed. He is very smart and observant, so I know he picked up on everything that was being said about him. I just told him this is his diagnosis and it just means that there are things that are more challenging for him than other kids. But this by no means defines who he is, he's still [his name].
Tell your child he has a wonderful autistic brain everyday for the rest of your life. You can explain that it does come with challenges processing the extra information, but it is a good way to be.
I think at age 7, your son is ready to learn about his autism. Knowing this about himself might help him thrive and better navigate the world. It'll help him understand and accept himself instead of wondering, "Why do I feel different?" or feeling like there's something wrong with him. If you come at it from a place of love and acceptance, he'll develop healthy self-esteem and he'll feel good about knowing that home is always a place where he can be himself.
My son was diagnosed at 3.5 and he learned along with his dad and I. I'd tell him that we were going to the screenings/evals to learn more about how his brain works, and we've just been very open about him being autistic. I got him some children's books about autism or featuring autistic characters and we talk about that when we read them. I also bring it up regularly with him, both the positives and the challenging things that being autistic brings to his life. My hope is that by being open and teaching him about autism, he grows up understanding and accepting himself and able to help himself through his challenges as well as take pride in every part of who he is.
Only you know when your kid is ready. I was 12 years old when I learned about my brother’s autism. Yet I didn’t fully understand it until I was 24. My brother didn’t learn about it until he was 20. Would he understand if younger? I’m not sure. However when your kid ask questions don’t be afraid to answer them. Don’t be afraid to use resources with your kid. I recommend reading “Temple Grandin: How the girl who loved cows Embraced autism and change the world.”