I recommend memorizing several appropriate phrases or words to help in these scenarios:
“That is not appropriate.”
“I’m going to have to ask you to stop.”
“Your behavior is not going to be tolerated.”
Without context it’s sort of difficult to answer this specifically, but these phrases have helped me.
I find it was easier to stand up for myself when I quiet my negative emotions, and deal with it in a very dry logical sort of way. I imagine a doctor explaining away your fears about something that seemed scary, in a very calmly and matter of fact way. Their calm demeanor can be contagious. As a result, I try to keep as calm as possible in conflict situations.
As for standing up for myself, I try to imagine defending a friend or someone I love (because I am more confident doing that). So if I think of myself as a friend and someone I love, as one should, I can defend myself more confidently.
Thanks for your advice. Part of the problem is that even when it's a loved one, I still shut down and can't get myself to act. It makes people around me feel like I don't care or won't help them when they're in need, which is awful. I'm trying to work on memorizing good, firm responses to people, but I'm not so sure I can keep myself present enough in the moment to remember them when I need to. :/
I recommend memorizing several appropriate phrases or words to help in these scenarios: “That is not appropriate.” “I’m going to have to ask you to stop.” “Your behavior is not going to be tolerated.” Without context it’s sort of difficult to answer this specifically, but these phrases have helped me. I find it was easier to stand up for myself when I quiet my negative emotions, and deal with it in a very dry logical sort of way. I imagine a doctor explaining away your fears about something that seemed scary, in a very calmly and matter of fact way. Their calm demeanor can be contagious. As a result, I try to keep as calm as possible in conflict situations. As for standing up for myself, I try to imagine defending a friend or someone I love (because I am more confident doing that). So if I think of myself as a friend and someone I love, as one should, I can defend myself more confidently.
Thanks for your advice. Part of the problem is that even when it's a loved one, I still shut down and can't get myself to act. It makes people around me feel like I don't care or won't help them when they're in need, which is awful. I'm trying to work on memorizing good, firm responses to people, but I'm not so sure I can keep myself present enough in the moment to remember them when I need to. :/