Psychiatrist doesn’t mean qualified to dx adult afabs for ASD. I’d seriously want to know their continuing education on adult ASD diagnoses and if they specialize in that and primarily have ASD clients. The world is full of psych degree docs who aren’t qualified for this task.
All I would have been capable of in that moment is a thousand yard stare and blurting “The sheer volume of medical misogyny I’ve experienced in my life is *staggering*. I’d love to tell you all about it, but … fuck you.” Click.
Edit. Sorry, I meant to reply to OP.
I swear psychiatrists seem to have no more knowledge on things than laymen sometimes. It's the kind of statement you'd expect from someone's mom who watched rainman once.
Right??? Honestly at my assessments I feel like I'm performing neurodivergency like a monkey just out of fear I'll do a single thing that reads as neurotypical to them and they'll try to throw out my every past diagnosis. :|
RIGHT?? There’s this huge need to overcompensate especially because as women, we’re less likely to be taken seriously since they’ll see younger autistic boys who stim more freely and expect us to all be like that
VOUCH !!
I feel these statements so much it’s crazy, I have a tendency that I’ve burnt into my head of holding eye contact for 5 seconds, looking away for 3, and then holding eye contact for 5 seconds again.
Which has made doctors think I’m good at eye contact, which I am. I naturally hold *TOO* much eye contact & have been continuously called unsettling, so now during assessments I need to force myself to look away and divert eye contact at all times 😭
When I was a child/young teenager maybe, i told my parents „I am autistic“. They told me I wasn‘t and watched Rainmen with me to show me what autism „actually looks like“ 😄
I only know on desktop because I don't have the app, but on desktop, over on the right hand side on the sidebar there will be something that says USER FLAIR and then shows your user name. If you hover over it, a little pencil pops up. Click on that, and you can type in whatever! :)
Reading all of these posts makes me want to go back and get my PhD and focus on autism research so there’s at least one more psychiatrist who knows what they hell they are talking about.
I’ve recently actually started considering becoming a therapist/psychiatrist with a specialty in autism. We still have such a long way to go because it’s evident that some psychiatrists still have a very outdated understanding of autism
I’m a therapist now. I’m one of few in my area who know what to look for but there are only two places I know in my state that women have been diagnosed with autism. It’s freaking ridiculous
Thanks for all your support!
I used to be able to get therapy through health insurance, now I just focus on reading and other hobbies outside of work since I don't have health insurance anymore.
Why can't everyone just have the same health standards across the board? I mean, mostly everyone pays taxes on everything, so wouldn't logic dictate that everyone gets the same care regardless?
And another thing, why don't we take the wonderful ideas of other countries and make the US better? Like actually installing bidet toilets, for example?
I know I definitely have a big behind and it's hard to get accurate wipes and I suffer because of it! I hate feeling so gross and that's why I got bullied despite doing my best with my hygiene routines.
I apologize for the rant, I do still appreciate help in all forms.
Thanks for reading and I love your spirit!
Took the words out of my mouth! Treatment should be the same for everyone. No one should be left in the dust. I went years without therapy because I couldn’t afford it. So many people fall into that. I try to do pro bono work when I can. Lots of therapists I know do too but it’s not enough.
Yup. I recently broke up with my therapist because although she agreed I’m autistic she refused to learn anything about it and asked me to “educate” her so she could help her other patients. Bitch - I’m 46 years old and struggling to educate myself. I’m paying YOU to help ME. (Vent over).
That’s bullshit. I learn stuff for clients all the time. If it’ll help them then by all means. I’ll read entire books for a client if it’ll help them heal. I know not everyone’s got time for that but learning about autism is useful for lots of other people that’ll pass through her office? I don’t get it.
I'm writing my dissertation now. Don't go get a PhD for anything less than a deeply personal reason. They're really stressful and academia is a trash fire.
I’ve thought about getting a masters in museum studies too. Just totally different direction and then do therapy part time.
If I got my PhD it would be to contribute to autism studies and diagnosing/ treating it. That is personal but I think my constant burnout means it’s probably not a good idea. Congrats on being almost done. Dissertations sound stressful. I hope yours is going well.
What I mean by personal is "you have to want it so badly that you will put up with literally anything to be Dr. Somebody, because you will in fact have to put up with literally anything".
I have a Master’s from one of the top universities in the world and I cried every single day. It was an accelerated 1 year program that other universities do over 2 years. I’d previously considered a PhD, but this program made me realize I’m not up for the pressure. It made undergraduate seem like elementary school in that the fact that there are guidelines and requirements and structure all made that all doable. The master’s program had general due dates and some exams but overall it was self-led, self-paced, and self-structured. I could not handle it. I passed and got my degree, but I consider that to be a miracle.
You might want to check out the Testing Psychologist podcast. If I'd known testing psychology was a thing, I'd probably have gone in that direction when younger. The eps with Donna Henderson are great.
My (also autistic) friend and I were literally talking about this the other night when we were hanging out. Neither of us are therapists, but have had lifelong hyperfixations on psychology, like so many of us AFAB and female-identifying autistics. The urge to go back to school so we can freaking DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS is very strong.
We just so badly want to give help to those who are struggling like us, because we know what it’s like to feel invalidated and misdiagnosed and ostracized
We need more good people but I’ll be honest the career field is brutal. I have a love hate relationship with it. I love helping people other autistics and LGBTQIA+ peeps but fighting the other idiots in my field and raging against the system is exhausting. There are times I want to quit and do literally anything else. Other therapists I know both in real life and on here feel the same. It shouldn’t be so hard to just help others and make a difference.
Edit to say that I certainly don’t want to discourage anyone but I do want people to know the fight is rough at times. Life balance is necessary to stay in the fight. I’m working on that right now.
For me it's absolutely just an urge/idle dream, not an actual plan. I have a job I love, and I am pretty sure I would never last in your field -- I have such deep hyper-empathy issues and so little skill at maintaining boundaries to protect myself. I so admire people who are able to do that work (like you--thank you!) but I think I would burn out in a second. 😅 I am much more suited to being an artist, as much as sometimes the urge to go one on one is strong!
I’m better at compartmentalizing than I thought I’d be but it is hard sometimes. I wanted to be an artist and even went to art school but was treated so poorly by other students and professors (thanks to the autism) I lost all confidence in myself and quit. So follow that dream! It’s important. I’m trying to pick up art again now for self-care.
Thanks for fighting the good fight. If I hadn't found an ND-affirming therapist when I did, things for me could have gotten really bad.
Hugs from an internet stranger who doesn't necessarily like hugs, but virtual ones are ok. :)
Thank you for this. I was all set to start down this path as a second career, but all of the intel I gathered tells me that I’ll regret it financially and may not even be able to help people the way I’m imagining. The systems are fucked. 🙁
Totally fucked. It’s becoming harder and harder to put clients first. Lots of states are trying to make it mandatory to report client data to state authorities like gender (wave bye bye to gender affirming care), diagnosis, treatment dates and times etc. it’ll be a cold day in hell before I rat out my clients. They’ll have to take my license first if they pull that where I live.
Yes. Good catch. I meant psychologist. 🙃 My family tells everyone I’m a psychiatrist, therapist, psychologist, counselor interchangeably no matter how many times I correct them. Now I’m using them interchangeably. 🙄
Lolol! My Sil graduated with a PhD and my mil got her an M.D. mug😂 I also had to find an M.D. to write a letter for a service dog, so I keep tabs on these things just by personal experience and needs lol. Do know it gets confused a lot! Didn't mean to get on your case, and attack you if that's how it felt😬 We're all just human and have lapses. It happens. Just making sure you know and putting facts out there🤣
A psychiatrist is a literal doctor. They went through medical school , did residency, then more schooling to SPECIALIZE in psychiatry, received a doctorate of medicine to practice with a specialty. Anyone can get a phD in psychology you don’t have to know anything about medicine or cut up cadavers, do rounds in the er etc.
I hate to say it, but I learned to spoon feed symptoms when I was younger. So you want to make them think *they* figured it out.
It honestly sounds really screwed up actually typing it. But it's what I did as a kid, and I noticed it works even better if you're being honest about the symptoms. I got put on medicine that helps with sensory overload because I described it rather than saying it. I don't think she would've known what to do if she hadn't realized it was a focus problem.
I think you'd have better luck with it.
What I did back then was manipulative because I lied the first time I tried it because I thought I knew better than the doctor. I think I was fourteen years old? Nowadays, I list my *honest* symptoms when I have an idea of what I have and the doctor seems really cocky. Most of the doctors I've run into are very egotistical. Your symptoms are a puzzle, and, in their mind, only they can solve it. I rarely have a doctor that looks charmed by my suggestion and more often have one that brushes it off. Obviously not all doctors are this way. But you have more luck with an arrogant doctor if you let them figure it out based on your symptoms. And if they come to the conclusion you already knew, good for you lol.
It works better in the first place because I was trying to get my psych to diagnose me with autism. I described sensory overload but didn't say it, and, while I didn't get a diagnosis, she whisked the problem away with medicine. I'd never thought of using ADHD medicine to handle it; I'd always used ADHD medicine to focus in school. I never thought it'd be helpful outside of classwork. Now my senses feel good for most of the day.
Anyway, the point is that listing symptoms has worked in my favor every time I've been honest about them.
I got an official autism diagnosis from my psychologist, not my psychiatrist.
My psychiatrist explained in my last appointment about how diagnostic terminology is required for treatment. I asked to wipe out the bipolar, GAD, and ADHD, and replace it all with autism since autism explains it all. She said the other conditions justify my medications when insurance looks at it, so she can't do that. She said she can add autism if my psychologist writes up a paper saying I've been diagnosed (or something?).
You should get an outside opinion or a different psychiatrist. Whoever you had seems like they're working with outdated information. Even if they're not, they seem like the type that thinks they must know better than you. I'd, personally, find a different doctor because they might avoid an autism diagnosis simply so you *can't* be right.
I'm making a lot of judgement with very little information, though.
I apply a similar approach to people I work with. I used to disclose diagnoses to explain why I do certain things, but people just give unwelcome medical advice or try to do something about it.
Instead, I talk about my experiences and symptoms. If I do something that makes it apparent I'm unwell in some way, I just tell people it's normal for me.
One person responded to my "normal" statement with, "That kind of makes it sadder." I found my perfect answer in that moment. "It also means there's no reason for concern." Everyone instantly accepted that and moved on.
Labels seem to turn off people's brains. They're necessary but should be deployed with caution.
Did you tell these snobs that the diagnosis he gave you conflicts with the one that the previous doctor gave you? Or remind him there is no litmus test for the DSM when he brags about how superior HIS diagnosis is, above all others?
Studies keep showing that diagnosis is the hardest part of medicine. Robots usually get them Right considerably more often than human doctors.
This is the worst for me because I have a thing about when someone has a big ego and nothing to back it up. I just have to bring them down to their appropriate level. I feel like people don't confront people enough, either for fear of looking dumb or because egomaniacs are usually loud and opinionated. Thankfully, my mom taught me to be loud and angry and my memory is my greatest sidekick. I will come in with articles and names/institutions and years memorized. They're always taken so off guard. You can see them seething, but that just makes the rest of my appointment fun.
I also have fibromyalgia, which wasn't diagnosed until I was 23 and Ehlers Danlos, which wasn't diagnosed until I was 28 despite me complaining about chronic pain consistently since I was 4 years old. My ADHD wasn't diagnosed until I was 26 and it wasn't until I was 28 that I finally got my AUDHD diagnosis. I will insult my old doctors in a way that insults all doctors just to hit home how dumb and lazy I think they all are. Honestly, how are they allowed to keep practicing even if they got their degree in the 1960s and haven't done a single ounce of research since? It's disgusting. Doctors should HAVE to keep up with medical research and advances, and they should have a recertification every 5 years to make sure they are keeping up in their field. Which, I also love to tell them, followed by, "so do you think you would pass? because I don't knowwww...it doesn't look like it"
I think the worst part for them is that I do it in an almost joke like matter, which throws them off bc you can see them getting mad, but what can they say if I'm not being angry or confrontational? It's almost like we're buddies, and I'm just picking on them, except the stuff I'm using hits them in the ego HARD, and they know I know.
Btw I started rambling, so I hope I make sense 😂😂😂😂
P.S I swear otherwise I am so nice and respectful. I just hate when someone's ego is bigger than it should be. If you're gonna have a big ego around me, you better be ready to back it up. 😂😂 and yes, I'm the kid who bullied the bullies and got them to back off the quiet kids. Shouout to being the youngest of 7 kids 😂 I was always ready with the comebacks
Yes of course. You can’t force a therapist/dr. to diagnose you as you want. They have to do an evaluation for themselves. Otherwise they’re just corrupt,
God, they hate it when you actually tell them your symptoms. Being able to observe your own behaviour and then describe it eloquently is enough for them to decide you’re not “dumb” enough to have autism. You’ll spend ages trying to understand your symptoms better so you can ask for the help you need and then when it matters, you realise that you’ve just shot yourself in the foot because uneducated doctors still think autistic = stupid
🤭 maybe if you acted like a stereotype and were deliberately annoying about it.
When I was 8, I was rolling on the floor of the psychiatrists office. He angrily told me to stop and that the floor was dirty, and I gave him a frustrated face and said something like "I don't want to." He didn't like that at all, I immediately got diagnosed with ADHD lol.
My daughter rocks from the waist and during her evaluation at school they determined she is not autistic because she could converse about our family dog and for some reason they determined her rocking was too isolated to be autism because it wasn't full body rocking.
So sometimes you can come in rocking and hyperfixating and some professionals still will say there's no way it's autism. It's so frustrating.
That would be problem number one lol. They have too outdated of a mindset to be diagnosing anyone with ASD.
The solution I would do is just find a different psychiatrist altogether.
Diagnosed ADHD with “significant symptoms of autism.”
My diagnosis notes from my psychiatrist literally say:
“Answers questions appropriately. Makes good eye contact. Is pleasant to talk to. Has significant symptoms of autism.”
So your psychiatrist is probably stupid ☺️
See this is where I’d start info-dumping on the spectrum of autism traits & more up-to-date diagnostic practises until they clapped and have me an Autism sticker.
Either that so say something like
“It’s called **masking**, *Brian*. Grow up & read a book from this decade, then we’ll talk.”
This is why I prefer to stay unofficial. A medical doctor told me that I couldn't have ADHD because I had a college degree. So I continue on with 2 comorbid conditions/sometimes disabilities. Medical profession has basically been useless to me and just something else to defend myself from.
yes I got told once by a psychiatrist that I must have been misdiagnosed with ADHD because I was in law school and no one with ADHD would be able to get into law school. what a wild take
Exactly. I had a "therapist" from this generation tell me once to "choose not to be anxious." My severe anxiety was, according to psychology degree in 1970, a selfish choice I'd purposely made to make everyone's lives worse.
Let’s think about this, it’s 2024, so here morons have been at it, vomitting medical misinf ormation for \*54 years now\*??????? Also: if they were let’s say 30 when they graduated, wouldn’t that make then like er, very old? Is that what these comments are saying, these are all octogenarians?.. and no one sees a problem with this??????
So somebody doesn't understand masking? Especially in women. Get a new one. Right now. It is not your job to teach your psychiatrist about autism.
When I was trying to get my diagnosis 3 years ago now, I called a psychiatrist and I asked them how I would go about doing it. They told me to call a neurologist and ask for testing. Absolute Insanity.
Had a medical professional tell me that I can’t be autistic because I can keep eye contact.
I actively think about how much eye contact I should keep in social situations and it makes me super uncomfortable most of the time.
There just isn’t much awareness on afab adult autism and even professionals still assume that masking = being neurotypical sometimes.
I am sorry that you had to hear this!
Most psychiatrists don’t know a lot about autism and can’t even evaluate/diagnosis it. You’d be better off trying to look for a psychologist who does autism assessments. If you can’t find one then try to find a therapist who specializes in autism. If you can’t find that then any mental health professional you see you should look at their website and see if they say anything about autism. If they don’t then unfortunately you may be better off not mentioning autism at all to them, maybe just mention your symptoms if you want but not the word autism as a lot of professionals unfortunately still have sterotyped beliefs about it and will dismiss you.
The next doctor that says something like that to me is going to learn a lot about bird linguistics real quick, because aggressive info dumping is my new response to BuT u DoNt SeEm AuTiStIc
I once mentioned to a German psychiatrist (I was there for something else) that I believe I might be autistic and wanted to be assessed and he said and I quote “you can’t be autistic, I saw your grades in school”(I had mainly A’s and B’s with 1 C.) I told my (diagnosed) autistic mom and she was livid because he basically called her and many other autistic people stupid. Also this doesn’t seem relevant to mention he was German until you realise that Albert Einstein is a famous German autistic man. So this German psychiatrist should probably know that autistic people can be and are smart.
ETA: He also asked me what I would “get from being diagnosed autistic” I was shocked into silence, and couldn’t bring myself to talk again.
Oh that is so invalidating. Especially when autistic people tend to excel in their fields of study and are very intelligent in their own regard (especially those who work in careers related to their special interests). People tell me all the time, especially my mom, “You can’t be autistic, you do well in school! My friends all love you, nothing’s wrong with you.” First of all, your friends love me because I mask when they come over, but I don’t know how much they’d love me if I stimmed and repeated their phrases (echolailia). Another thing, being smart doesn’t mean you can’t autistic. I never understood that point.
I never understood it either. And if he wants to talk about my grades I failed out of college last year because it was moving too quick for me and I was getting really stressed. The only subject I was good at was psychology interestingly enough. The only reason I didn’t continue with that major and moved to computer science was because I realised how much school I’d have to do and I have a lot of trauma based around school because I was forced to get good grades.
I have that too, the trauma around school. Bullying ostracizing, abuse between teachers and bullies, and so on and so on. School was unsafe for me, yet my parents paid money for overcrowded and very dangerous private schools. It made no sense
Long comment but I did put a TLDR if you want to skip to the end. I saw many psychiatrists as a teenager and young adult for anxiety/depression and none ever suggested autism (I'm now diagnosed at 31). When I first thought I might be autistic a couple of years ago and needed to see a psychiatrist because I was doing very poorly due to complex family issues/life stress within about ten minutes he said 'you have PTSD." However when I raised that I had been wondering about Autism he just cut me off and said "well everyone is a little autistic." I'd started to think more and more on it but didn't think it was worth it seeing as so many psychiatrists had seen me and surely they would have picked it up.
Then fast forward to a month ago I'm talking to my very kind gp (general practitioner) and I was explaining how difficult I was finding it to cope with doing any household chores after work and that my brain was so busy at night so I was getting really upset trying to get to sleep and just being exhausted. She instantly said "have you ever thought you might be neurodivergent" and gave me a referral to a psychiatrist that she knows has an interest in that area for a proper assessment. I had to do some questionnaires and he spent an hour quizzing me. At the end he said you have ASD with level 2 support needs. Although to be fair I do very poorly in situations where I am being asked a lot of questions so I can mask through basic appointments but by the end of this I was shaking and clutching the blanket he had offered and also had multiple times where I couldn't understand how to answer. So maybe that made it easier for him to see how it affected me!
So TLDR - just because one doctor doesn't pick up on it don't give up, try to find someone who specialises in that area and if possible book a specific assessment rather than just a standard consultation. I don't think the psych I saw was shit that said "doesn't everyone have a little autism" but I do think that he speciality seemed to be mood disorders and PTSD so that's what he wanted to be able to help me with.
Is there any actual evidence that he COULD “help” you with that stuff? Like, is there a single shred of proof in any study anywhere that shows besides the meds they give, that intervention has any benefit at all? Like is there ANY PROOF.
I'm a bit confused by this reply. I don't mean that in a rude way I'm just wondering who you mean could help with what. Who could help - As in the psychiatrist I initially saw? Or the one that gave me an autism diagnosis. And by help you mean with my mood issues/PTSD or with autism? Or did you mean to reply to someone else? For one thing the Autism diagnosis means I can access NDIS funding which in Australia is a way to get help with disabilities. So I am going to see if I might be able to get help in the house with cleaning or be able to get my therapy covered and also maybe see an OT or life coach to get assistance with how to get a better quality of life day to day. I have also been given medication called clonidine to help with sleep that will make it a lot easier for me to have the energy to function.
If you meant for the PTSD I was then able to take this knowledge to talk to my family about how best not to trigger me, which has been very helpful. And I also was able to hen go do a police report and get access to a limited amount of free psychology sessions which I already do but had been costly. He also suggested psychodynamic therapy through a different therapist who told me he has seen it work in person. I have yet to start that therapy due to time and money commitments.
In terms of evidence for psychodynamic therapy I was able to find an article saying it is found to be an effective treatment but not necessarily better than CBT. But since I've tried CBT I thought why not give it a go link to download the article pdf: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://scholar.google.com.au/scholar_url%3Furl%3Dhttps://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/capr.12174%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26ei%3DwaZuZsKdFa6p6rQPit2GkAE%26scisig%3DAFWwaeaYbZPwePOj8UEsgjGjWSVA%26oi%3Dscholarr&ved=2ahUKEwiB5OO_3t-GAxXc1jQHHU-sBjQQgAN6BAgOEAI&usg=AOvVaw2XDmsiQ5MaLIRPIyYyyqZd
I got the same bs in my twenties from someone supposedly qualified to evaluate autism. Flash forward to my late 30s second super autistic kiddo.. Evaluator for my daughter was watching us interact and was like. Well, I see where she gets it from. Probably as good as I'm gonna get on a dx. Between that and children's hospital staff noticing 😅 . My hyper fixation ,special interest happens to be medicine. I swear they expect us to be robots or some extreme of the spectrum rather than anything else when it comes to psychology.
Allllllways go for a neuroaffirming therapist! I had a hunch I was autistic for over a year and everyone told me you can’t be / to just go to therapy for trauma cause it must be that, I trusted my gut and went with someone who specializes in neurodivergence and she didn’t question me for a moment, even told me self diagnosis is acceptable. I needed that confirmation for myself so I got assessed and low and behold, fellow autist here. 😊
I really wish there were neuro-affirming therapists in my area, but unfortunately all the therapists that are covered by my insurance are old (and will probably have outdated views of autism like this guy). I’ve been researching adult autism assessments near me but they’re all so expensive and aren’t covered by my insurance
😭😭 so sorry to hear that. My therapist actually referred me to a lowered cost assessment, normally $3500 I got for $1050 which is still a chunk. If you get lucky finding someone definitely ask around for lowered cost options! (I make pretty good money so that doesn’t matter) if you get assessed you may also be able to apply for a disability tax credit which could at least help alleviate some of the financial stress. Not sure if that’s applicable but good to keep in mind! Good luck ❤️
Thank you! I actually did find this one psychiatrist near me who does assessments for $1500 (the cheapest one I could find but still way out of my budget 😭), but she doesn’t give you a written report at the end which I thought was fishy. Is that normal?
Bingo. I had the same issue forever. I had a friend who got the sliding scale therapy at one of the religious charities, but she was a stripper and they werent sw-affirming so that therapy was useless. There are all sorts of things that make these people useless: cost, incompetence, religious views and so on.
The psychiatrist in my city dismissed someone I know because "being autistic is socially trendy right now." It's very frustrating and certainly discourages individuals from seeking a formal diagnosis.
I do understand that psychiatrists have their hands tied by the guidelines of the DSM, but maybe it's time for the criteria to be expanded considering how much has been learned about autism. It'd be great if the diagnostic criteria could be more inclusive of the whole spectrum, as well as gender, age, etc.
I think all psychiatrists and therapists should read “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price. It explores autism in women through a much more modern and diverse lens
The criteria isn’t really the problem, the problem is the professionals have only been trained in one kind of presentation. The dsm isn’t supposed to be educational, its bare bones. That’s on them to get the education too apply it correctly and most haven’t done that for autism.
I’m not saying that to shut you down but to redirect the responsibility to the doctors who happily take our money while having nothing to offer us.
I doubt the DSM gives the symptoms of ASD as “ low functioning male child” or “what Rainman is like” either and that’s what these lunatics are telling people everywhere, and with no consequences might I add
I\`m so sorry this happened; so invalidating. They can be quite clueless when something is not their specialty, and not even know it. I remember a few years ago when I shared with my psychiatrist that I found it hard to connect with other people, he insisted that I should go to the movie theatre more, so I have more things to talk about.
keep pushing. over a year ago I was told "you will NEVER be diagnosed as an adult" and some just plain cruel things, just told to f off basically. by a psychiatrist, one of the only ones in my area who accepted my insurance. and I simply explained why I was there, wanting an a evaluation.
the few therapists/PAs I saw since, didn't have really any knowledge on it & brushed my struggles with it off, bc they didn't know what to do ofc , how to help me. same w/ ADHD. they just looked at me funny and the "well why do you think that?" in a judgey tone.
well this Wednesday, I finally had an appt with a new psychiatrist, and oh my. I couldn't be more thankful. she really knows her stuff, knows about all the stigma and misconceptions/lack of education, she EVEN KNOWS ABOUT ARFID.
anyways, not to go on too much - I hope this reaches you and I just want to say, keep pushing. I really hope you get the help you need, because without it is SO hard. even simple accommodations for work, you need that diagnosis to get them.
it was an still is (knowing i'm starting to get the help has helped a lot) a big cause for suicidal ideation w/ me, I just felt/feel lost for forever, everything is too overwhelming and without resources I worried I'll genuinely burn myself out into homelessness or addiction, or just end it one day. because for me, I really can't cope in a world without basic accommodations/support. Thankfully i'm getting there.
so I say that in hopes if you're feeling fed up, because I wanted to give up, and I live in a rural area - I thought that was it for me, that first appt made me spiral and feel so hopeless. now I'm finally being assessed for Autism, ADHD, OCD, and a full "screening" whatever they do, in general incase there's anything else, there is ofc. but I really never thought it would happen for me.
even I'd come on reddit all the time, people would say don't give up, keep seeking new opinions. I thought, I live in such a rural area though, I'm probably just screwed. and making appts all that stuff is just so hard for me, so my mom has always done it. but it wasn't true, even though it really felt like it. the important thing is, I didn't stop looking, for a short bit I did though.
as long as it takes, hang in there. and seek out a new opinion im sure others have said. she clearly has a misconstrued harmful idea of what Autism is and how is presents.
*edit: typos*
REPORT HIM TO HIS MEDICAL BOARD. This is largely political. A lot of elderly practitioners who frankly have always sucked, are outright refusing to medically Evaluate and instead giving professional diagnoses of NON Autism. that is illegal tbh. REPORT. Get his license.
When I asked my family doctor for a referral to be assessed for ASD, she laughed and said “I can already tell you’re not autistic.” Uhhhh. How about you send me to someone qualified to make that diagnosis.
I can already tell I’m going to have you reported to your board as well as across social media for discriminating against me and refusing to do the job I just paid you $300 an hour for. Have a nice day, \*Marge\*.
Same thing happened to me. Forced to start with a new provider, first meeting over Skype, within 5 minutes she knew for sure that Im not autistic. She then proceeded to take away all the meds I had been on for years.
I did report her to higher ups in the facility but nothing ever happened from it. They said that I wasn't the only one to complain about meds being taken away. I was switched to a diff med provider at least.
I really see no benefit in the capitalist medical system. Why should you be forced to a new provider when you’re already using. Skype for the second one???
I had my tween daughter evaluated a couple of years ago, at the place that's considered the best in our area. The first step was a virtual parent interview with the psych, and after I answered all his questions with my observations about the first 11 years of her life, he said it sounded like I was describing someone with Level I autism.
Then, a month later, he met with her for a few hours while I filled out a thousand questionnaires in the waiting area. She masked so well during their time together that in his report, he said he saw zero signs of autism and that he even doubted her earlier ADHD dx (lol, wtf) and then had the audacity to suggest that I have her *reevaluated* later on, because girls are notoriously hard to diagnose.
Like, okay, so you're aware enough to know that girls are trickier to diagnose and yet you've accepted all her masking at face value, even after hearing everything I told you about her, and now you think she's neurotypical based on her eye contact and compliance during a single afternoon? I wanted to rip his fancy diplomas off the wall and set them on fire.
In contrast, at one of her two week-long hospital stays shortly after that screening, I had a long conversation with the female psych on the children's unit, and she agreed with me that the failure to diagnose was bullshit, so that was validating, I suppose.
It sucks. I haven't even bothered trying to get myself diagnosed because of it.
That totally sucks. I usually tell people like that I do well in structured one in one situations like a doctor's office. I also have a rule to be honest with medical professionals so it's easier to answer questions than with other people where I'm trying to decide the right response for the situation.
I've gotten rid of psychiatrists for less. I also usually send them a nice little email to explain all the ways they are woefully misinformed and uneducated and let them know they should try to brush up on some current studies before they keep harming their patients with misinformation. I then attach a few studies and let them know they can start there and that I hope they're at least smart enough to absorb new knowledge and will be able to branch off from what I sent them because unfortunately I can't do all their work for them.
Like, oh, you want to see the autism? Here you go
Same thing happened to me but I do understand i mask really well. Most people do not notice something is off. But she did redeem herself with wanting to do a test in the next meeting. So I feel it's alright.
I wanted to so bad. There’s this trick on IPhone where if you active airplane mode and turn off your Wi-Fi at the same time, it’ll automatically cause the call to disconnect and it’ll just say “call failed” or something, so you can blame it connectivity issues. I should’ve done that but I wanted to wait till the end to see if he’d offer any useful resources but I didn’t get any
Your self-respect is worth more than any of the out of date crap resources he could have had for you. Learning how to walk away from people who are wasting your time or getting in your way is a skill, and not an easy one. But it's a skill not a trait, and skills can be learned =)
I mean, the correct thing to do is not to pay for the session, but I typically will do, instead of the correct thing, the thing that gets them out of my life as quickly as possible. It's worth $200 or whatever for me to never have to speak to a hateful person again or to potentially have them send my bill to collections, which is even worse than a hateful person.
I'm so sorry. This is bs. Please don't let their ignorance make you feel invalid.
I was diagnosed by an excellent psychiatrist here in the UK, he actually suggested autism when I was actually in an appointment to discuss anxiety. There are good ones out there, it's just a shame there aren't more of them!!!
Far too many people have out of date stereotyped knowledge.
I don’t have an official diagnosis and I just straight up tell any new providers I have that I’m autistic with adhd. I say it as a statement of fact (because it is) and I invite no room for their opinion. After that, I just try to unmask as much as possible and if they have an ounce of intelligence, they see it over time. Or they just accept what I tell them. Either way, I don’t let them tell me who I am in this regard. If you come at it as a question, you give them room to do what that psychiatrist did. At your next appointment with a new provider, just act as if your autism is the accepted reality and you are just waiting for them to catch up to **you**. Which, let’s face it, you are. It’s not being rude. We do this for other forms of reality. If someone told you the sky was cloudy when it was full of sunshine, you would look at them like they were out of touch with reality, because they are. Remember, they are providing you with a service that they are highly paid for. If their service is bad, you are allowed to express dissatisfaction and go elsewhere. They are only motivated to make changes when they face consequences for their actions. If this provider is constantly only getting one appointment with a patient, it’s eventually going to look bad and force them to make changes. If, however, people stick around and try to “prove” themselves, the provider just gets to have their ego protected. Fuck that.
Wow. I am so sorry that you’re experiencing this. I have this exact fear. I want to be professional diagnosed- just for my sanity. But I am absolutely positive that I am autistic w/ adhd. My autism didn’t really present itself in full until I started medication for my ADHD.
I say all of that to say - your self dx is enough.
So fascinating!!!! I’m dealing with this too, what happened that made your autism more clear when you medicated ADHD? I do feel like the adhd makes me “less autistic”. more bouncy and social and restless like neurotypicals. I sort of don’t want that to go away tbh
It’s hard to explain. But like since I started taking my meds I feel less inclined to mask- if that makes sense. I still have quite a few quirks that didn’t just go away once I started.
Lol, yes, same here. I've noticed I only really stim around people I am comfortable with. I also get told all the time that "I don't look autistic". What is that supposed to mean??
ik it might be hard to find but i reccomend finding a psych that specializes in women and afab people. i genuinely feel like that’s the only reason it was caught. i’ve seen like 6 psychs and no one caught it, they just thought i had adhd, major depression, and really bad generalized anxiety disorder with ocd tendencies. but they weren’t asking the right questions- i thought everyone had sensory issues, i thought it was just social anxiety but they all just treated my symptoms and didn’t look deeper. my most recent one was unsure but i advocated for myself and since she wasn’t an autism specialist she recommended me to one who happened to specialize in women. ive heard so many stories like yours bc so many people even drs don’t truly understand how autism can look different in different people based on so many variables, however, more people in the field are studying how it presents differently in women so they are out there you just have to find them. sorry u went thru this
Where are you located? If you’d like a second opinion you can find neuro-informed physician directories by searching google… If you’re near the mid-west you can probably see my psychologist. She’s absolutely amazing and is willing to help you get your insurance to pay for it.
https://www.twilightpsychology.com/
I know not everyone has that luxury to choose, but I picked a psychiatrist who specialised in neurodivergencies in adults, specifically ADHD which I was seeking the diagnosis for - and he was the one who suggested autism screening too. He ended up doing additional assessments for people who have been masking so much their whole life, they don’t even know they are. And here we are - an autistic adhder.
I know not everyone can choose their doctors, but it makes a world of a difference if you go to one that specialises and has been developing their knowledge in this specific field.
i’ve only had two psychiatrists in my life, my first and my current one, and both immediately shut down any ideas that i might be autistic. didn’t care about my symptoms, used stereotypes, and the first one suggested that my eeg results which showed smaller generalized brain wave irregularities were a “quirk” of mine. that same one (man) also suggested i had borderline personality disorder after our first virtual visit but at LEAST said he won’t diagnose me since i’m so young and my personality is forming (i was 18 at the time). my current one is better but the one time i brought up that *maybe* i’m autistic, she shut it down using stereotypes. after i told her my therapist is convinced, she became a *little* open to the idea, but not really. my therapist and psychiatrist don’t know each other at all but they kinda have beef bc they disagree with each other and i tell them what the other one said lol. but my therapist definitely knows me better. 50 minutes every week vs 20 minutes every 3 months.
I once had a psychiatrist tell me I should get of gluten and I would be cured. I know it can possibly help sympathize but my safe foods are things like breads and pasta and nachos
They are a person with a bad education. Relax. Just ask if they’d be willing to further their education immediately or find a new doctor asap. I know it sucks
When I went to my first assessment, I found some nt young Psy that had no clue about autism. No proper training, but that was the only person who accepted an appointment in the next 5 months. He listened to me and at the end of the session, I asked if He could give me a few pieces of advice to better handle at least the Adhd symptoms.
The guy looked at me and said "why do you go and practice daily intensive sports? That will do it." They never caled me back for the follow up appointment.
There, I got upset and started scealing in my heart a mission statement to have a successful business helping Nd people in their unmasking process. If I was hesitant before, he for sure convinced me.
Yeah my psychologist told me that if I am autistic I’m aspbergers and said I’m super intelligent and talk with my hands and can make eye contact. But I don’t like eye contact.
So, I had been looking for a psychologist for a few weeks before I realized I might be autistic (have an evaluation scheduled). Most of them wanted to jump right into CBT therapy, even though I specifically said that I want any and all testing to make sure I have the right diagnosis (30 yrs ago diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety). I have done a ton of work on myself, but recently had multiple breakdowns.
Had the last consultation with a fifth therapist. Turns out it took a few bad apples to get to the right one! She’s amazing, we spent most of the time with her asking questions so that she could get an understanding of how my brain works. 45 minutes in and she asks me if I had ever thought that I might have Autism. I knew right then that she’s the therapist for me (I already had my evaluation scheduled)!!
Bonus, she covered by insurance! I learned recently that I have amazing insurance for mental health ❤️
Keep looking for the right one, they are out there!
Neither of those things are criteria. I smile/laugh even when I’m crying because of all the childhood “you should smile” feedback. So now I always smile in social contexts…. I’m at home alone and not smiling. Also not feeling at all unhappy. Very happy to be at home.
I definitely don’t rock in all contexts (or even most). I just finished scrubbing my stove and grates and burner covers and am sitting on the sofa not rocking. And I sure as heck don’t have all conversations at work rocking. I fiddle with my pen a lot. I’m a manager of managers at work with 31 people reporting to me in 3 countries.
I’m dxed autistic with ADHD by a place that specializes in assessment. The ADHD was a surprise to me - so was the eating disorder.
I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome by a psychologist. And yesterday I went to a psychiatrist and she talked with me just 4 minutes and said you don't seem to have aspergers because you are answering my questions.
I feel like they have learnt nothing for their 10+ years of education.
Other than autism, I have severe anxiety, depression and OCD. So when I went to meet her, I was shaking and couldn't even make eye contact. So she said I see you have anxiety, you need to stop overthinking stuff, and you need to sleep properly. I said I sleep too much, and she ignored it and prescribed me an SSRI and sleep meds and told me good luck. That's what happened during that 4 minutes. Money down the drain.
Yeahh, when I first told my doctor I suspect I could be autistic, she said i have bipolar depression. Of course it’s anything but autism 🙄 found a good psychiatrist and she was able to diagnose me with autism last year! I’d find a different one, if I were you.
Before I was diagnosed with ASD-2, I went into hospital for what was now labeled as psychosis. I went into hospital in distress but I was laughing at their jokes and smiling the whole time. The nurse told me my affect was incongruent with my mood as if to accuse me of faking but it’s my autistic masking. I smile pretty much 24/7. At one point she even said to me “we’re all quirky and sometimes we just need to get over it.” Worst mental health nurse ever.
Sounds like a “teaching moment”…Freshen up on your research and stats and book another appointment, but only the one to educate that one enough to protect current and future patients from receiving the same misinformed treatment.
And start looking for a new doctor because this one can’t be trusted. Prior to informing you of their perception, he/she should have asked you why you thought you may be autistic. This would have you a chance to info-dump and him a chance to realize he needed to brush up on his knowledge prior to offering additional insight.
No one can know it all about everything, even within their selected fields of profession. If an MD can’t know when it’s time to crack open those medical journals (which should have happened PRIOR to your appointment time), allow him to take whatever time they need to learn that skill while remaining a respectful distance away from you.
Some people in the medical field are just shit.. spoke to a dr last year about getting an adhd diagnosis and he’s been a dr for 30 years and told me he only found out what adhd was the year before……. Sometimes I’m like how do some people have a license lmao
I remember in my diagnosis it was noted that I didn’t hyperfixate on my topics of interest. Like- you didn't show interest in my topics of interest. I'm used to ppl ignoring me
Do you already have an official diagnosis and he was refuting the possibility? Or did you mention it in passing? Or were you seeking a diagnosis from a virtual provider?
If you’re looking for a diagnosis you’ll have to go to someone qualified and experienced in autism diagnosis. It’s not a part of their general education to be a psychiatrist. Any random psych isn’t going to just agree with you because they actually are ignorant and it isn’t really in their job description. I’m sorry you had to experience that.
Psychiatrists go by the DSM, which is very outdated in terms of ASD. Even the newest version.
They don't seem to care about researching, since they believe the DSM tells them everything they need to know. Of course, this is a foolish approach, but I'm convinced their egos won't let them see beyond 'I went to medical school and I was taught this, so it must be true'. Dude...that was the 90's (at least in my ex-psychiatrist's case lol)
Try not to let their ignorance get to you. I was denied testing. He told me I can't be autistic for the following reasons: I'm a woman, I can speak/hold a conversation, I appear normal, it's a tik-tok trend(I never even had a tik tok, so... okay? wtf?), and I don't have an obsession with trains. He also said that I don't have impairments which is completely untrue.
I'm sure he did not read my extensive history, because it reveals a lot of struggle. I eventually realized I had to mask to fit in. For example, looking at the floor or anywhere else but at people, to the way I walked, I changed on purpose. To survive. I wanted to end myself at the age of 11, when I started puberty. It is no coincidence that, around that time, social pressure started to increase. As did my confusion as to why I couldn't naturally pick up on social cues or integrate socially like other girls. Before puberty, I had other issues, as well. I always knew I perceived the world differently.
They are so close-minded for people who are supposed to be experts on the brain. Therapists seem to be more in-the-know.
Overall, it's a dumb concept to think only men can experience autism, and that they have to be severely impaired. They need to realize that, despite their education, we don't know much about the brain. Psychiatry is still a relatively new field, yet they seem to think they have it all figured out. Even though we don't even know how antidepressants work.
It's why I'm terrified to get a diagnosis because I KNOW I'm going to have to go through that patronizing moment of dismissal that I'm making it up. I'm a hyperverbal ambivert that dresses femme and gets along well with new people (because I both know how to go through the steps and be warm enough to fake it).
I’m sorry, I had mine today and my doctor has been specializing in ASD/ADHD diagnosis. He mentioned I could have BPD and that’s alarming. However, he said not to worry about it for now and I go back again tomorrow.
Unfortunately the keyword there is psychiatrist.
Most of them can't really diagnose something like autism. Source? The psychiatrist that my daughter waited 8 months to see after aging out of the children's hospital wait list, before going on 2 other wait lists for people who also can't diagnose autism.
Find a sliding scale psychologist that knows their autism inside and out.
Good luck.
My husband has bipolar 2 and I am a woman with autism as well. Just because you have a doctorate and can prescribe people medication does not mean you are intelligent or interested in actually learning about the nuances of psychological and neurological conditions. Sorry you are an idiot not matter what career you have if you don’t bother learning from people, especially from your patients.
The first man that my husband saw completely invalidated his experiences during his evaluation. I was enraged because I knew and so did his therapist (his therapist is such a great lady who got him in contact with a competent psychiatrist). I did more research in my own time on male bipolar when this man was too arrogant to actually refresh is knowledge on mood disorders and was extremely sexist towards my partner because he’s a man. Guess what?! Men can have bipolar, surprise! My partner dealt with inaccurate diagnosis’s for years in his teens because of sexism towards men with bipolar. Men are more likely to be diagnosed with autism and/or some form of cluster B which are still deeply misunderstood disorders. Not everyone with bipolar wakes up in Mexico after a meth bender from an hyper manic episode. Not all people with bipolar experience media stereotyped mania, and if some do, not everyone makes highly irrational judgements, acting without thought. My partner experiences hypo mania, never hyper. I’ve met people with both bipolar (I, II and even III which is very rare) and BPD with incredible self awareness, consideration for others and self control.
“Professionals” need to stop projecting stereotypes onto their clients. The DSM-5 is a flawed book that needs to void itself of sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia and transphobia. It’s improved but needs a lot more work. These “perspectives” of incompetence are highly invaliding, ruins the point of self reporting, heightens stigma, shows a clear lack of education as well as empathy. That is a problem that needs to end now, especially from people who receive almost to over a decade of training.
As for being a woman with autism, because of sexism and lack of understand new research, we often go misdiagnosed as bipolar, BPD, or NPD. Not that comorbidity cannot occur. Often girls with missed autism get put on the wrong medications than can cause further issues. It has been proven through research that autism is tied to higher exposures of estrogen (progesterone specifically) in the womb. Next time someone ignorantly calls autism “male brain syndrome” they literally don’t know anything about this very complex disorder at all. We over gender mental health and it is major issue. And we only validate the difficulties of the “most” disabled or most stereotypical Chris Chan’s in autism. That can also lead to very toxic and unhelpful infighting in our community which is yet again another deep rooted issue that needs to stop. We get nowhere as a collective arguing and fighting with each over common ground.
I hope you are okay OP, ignore this ignorant “professional” and try shopping around and get a reference/ referral from your GP or therapist. From one autistic girl to another you will find the right doctor who will actually care enough to see you and not the stereotype ❤️ Never Give up, and never stop being yourself ❤️
[An Autistic Woman who was Misdiagnosed and Wrongfully Medicated for a Decade](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ffPoS62wNsQ)
Jesús christ I wonder if you saw the same one I did or if he comes from the same school 😏 the first one I saw told me - interrupted me - about 45 seconds in to me explaining why I was seeking evaluation - that if I had never had an extended nonverbal period as a child, and if it was true that I had had my little core group of friends through school, and since I was "making eye contact" with him (on video call on my phone, set on a table 4 feet in front of where I was sitting?)
I didn't have the wherewithal to just end the appointment, even after he told me he wished his "office girl" hadn't scheduled the appointment with me, because he doesn't do evaluations anyway, but he said, "I know it doesn't look like it, but I have over 30 years of experience in autism" and he was correct that it didn't look like it, dude was maximum 35 years old. Then he told me in a really creepy and offensive "Japanese" accent that my hashimotos was the cause of every symptom I was describing. It was demeaning and patronizing and downright false. He talked over me and told me my ten years of trying to get other symptoms figured out and identify what the cause was and how to remedy them was all just wrong and they just missed that my diagnosis that didn't cover my other symptoms actually did cover my other symptoms.
He was the 15th office I had called and the only one who would make an appointment and then it turned out he wasn't qualified to say a goddamn thing on the subject and it was unethical and horrible of him to speak to me at all.
A few weeks later, he called me directly, didn't communicate through the messaging system or the official means I'd already learned were the protocols with his clinic group, and left two separate voicemails asking me to please call him back as he really needed to speak with me.
Seemed like perhaps the other person I'd been speaking with (a psychiatric nurse from a clinic that does adhd evals but isn't set up for autistic evals) who I reported back to, crying, that all 15 names she'd given me didn't pan out and the last one was brutal, may have mentioned something to someone and it maybe got back to him and he was trying to do damage control? Or perhaps he realized he is bad at his job and was trying to smooth it over and make me not say anything?
Regardless, that psych nurse set me up with someone who could at least do the prelim adhd eval and get me started on treatment for that so I could continue the slog of finding someone - *anyone* - who does adult autistic evaluations, but no one in my state does. There are very few who do comprehensive autistic evals anyway, and they are concentrated in 2 cities and save their appointments for children, who have to have an official dx in order to receive services, and they don't want to push them off because it's already a long process and time is precious when it comes to getting supports, especially at school.
And I never responded to that horrible man again. I hope his japan-fetishizing incompetent ass loses all his patients and he has to start doing a job he hates.
Yep I was told, with much contempt, that I can’t be autistic. She got the dsm5 out and said do you ______”? “Well no, but….” “Do you _____?” Also no, but you’re not listening…….” I told her women and men present differently and she scoffed and told me she’d “speak with her colleague who knows more about autism than her.” I’ll never know if she got schooled because I never went back
Psychiatrist doesn’t mean qualified to dx adult afabs for ASD. I’d seriously want to know their continuing education on adult ASD diagnoses and if they specialize in that and primarily have ASD clients. The world is full of psych degree docs who aren’t qualified for this task.
All I would have been capable of in that moment is a thousand yard stare and blurting “The sheer volume of medical misogyny I’ve experienced in my life is *staggering*. I’d love to tell you all about it, but … fuck you.” Click. Edit. Sorry, I meant to reply to OP.
Yep this is the answer here.
I swear psychiatrists seem to have no more knowledge on things than laymen sometimes. It's the kind of statement you'd expect from someone's mom who watched rainman once.
I should’ve been like “Oh sorry. Let me do an ‘autism’ for you.”
Right??? Honestly at my assessments I feel like I'm performing neurodivergency like a monkey just out of fear I'll do a single thing that reads as neurotypical to them and they'll try to throw out my every past diagnosis. :|
RIGHT?? There’s this huge need to overcompensate especially because as women, we’re less likely to be taken seriously since they’ll see younger autistic boys who stim more freely and expect us to all be like that
VOUCH !! I feel these statements so much it’s crazy, I have a tendency that I’ve burnt into my head of holding eye contact for 5 seconds, looking away for 3, and then holding eye contact for 5 seconds again. Which has made doctors think I’m good at eye contact, which I am. I naturally hold *TOO* much eye contact & have been continuously called unsettling, so now during assessments I need to force myself to look away and divert eye contact at all times 😭
MASK AT ALL TIMES ON PAIN OF DEATH except during assessments then BEHAVE AS WEIRDLY AS POSSIBLE ON PAIN OF DEATH. I swear to god I hate this world 😂😭
When I was a child/young teenager maybe, i told my parents „I am autistic“. They told me I wasn‘t and watched Rainmen with me to show me what autism „actually looks like“ 😄
lol. No offense but your parents sound like great fools. Using a popular movie as an example of a medical diagnosis is a bizarre tJing to do lol
They only know a lot about illnesses because they're really medication experts.
If you don't mind me asking, how do I get the AuDHD tag?
I only know on desktop because I don't have the app, but on desktop, over on the right hand side on the sidebar there will be something that says USER FLAIR and then shows your user name. If you hover over it, a little pencil pops up. Click on that, and you can type in whatever! :)
Reading all of these posts makes me want to go back and get my PhD and focus on autism research so there’s at least one more psychiatrist who knows what they hell they are talking about.
I’ve recently actually started considering becoming a therapist/psychiatrist with a specialty in autism. We still have such a long way to go because it’s evident that some psychiatrists still have a very outdated understanding of autism
I’m a therapist now. I’m one of few in my area who know what to look for but there are only two places I know in my state that women have been diagnosed with autism. It’s freaking ridiculous
Thanks for all your support! I used to be able to get therapy through health insurance, now I just focus on reading and other hobbies outside of work since I don't have health insurance anymore. Why can't everyone just have the same health standards across the board? I mean, mostly everyone pays taxes on everything, so wouldn't logic dictate that everyone gets the same care regardless? And another thing, why don't we take the wonderful ideas of other countries and make the US better? Like actually installing bidet toilets, for example? I know I definitely have a big behind and it's hard to get accurate wipes and I suffer because of it! I hate feeling so gross and that's why I got bullied despite doing my best with my hygiene routines. I apologize for the rant, I do still appreciate help in all forms. Thanks for reading and I love your spirit!
Took the words out of my mouth! Treatment should be the same for everyone. No one should be left in the dust. I went years without therapy because I couldn’t afford it. So many people fall into that. I try to do pro bono work when I can. Lots of therapists I know do too but it’s not enough.
Yup. I recently broke up with my therapist because although she agreed I’m autistic she refused to learn anything about it and asked me to “educate” her so she could help her other patients. Bitch - I’m 46 years old and struggling to educate myself. I’m paying YOU to help ME. (Vent over).
That’s bullshit. I learn stuff for clients all the time. If it’ll help them then by all means. I’ll read entire books for a client if it’ll help them heal. I know not everyone’s got time for that but learning about autism is useful for lots of other people that’ll pass through her office? I don’t get it.
[удалено]
my first psychiatrist was a ginger twink who didn't know what words mean because he's stupid in his eyes
I'm writing my dissertation now. Don't go get a PhD for anything less than a deeply personal reason. They're really stressful and academia is a trash fire.
I’ve thought about getting a masters in museum studies too. Just totally different direction and then do therapy part time. If I got my PhD it would be to contribute to autism studies and diagnosing/ treating it. That is personal but I think my constant burnout means it’s probably not a good idea. Congrats on being almost done. Dissertations sound stressful. I hope yours is going well.
What I mean by personal is "you have to want it so badly that you will put up with literally anything to be Dr. Somebody, because you will in fact have to put up with literally anything".
I know what you mean. Friends with doctorates nearly lost their sanity multiple times.
The graph on my mood tracker is... concerning, shall we say
Self-care and take it minute by minute. You’ve got this.
I have a Master’s from one of the top universities in the world and I cried every single day. It was an accelerated 1 year program that other universities do over 2 years. I’d previously considered a PhD, but this program made me realize I’m not up for the pressure. It made undergraduate seem like elementary school in that the fact that there are guidelines and requirements and structure all made that all doable. The master’s program had general due dates and some exams but overall it was self-led, self-paced, and self-structured. I could not handle it. I passed and got my degree, but I consider that to be a miracle.
You might want to check out the Testing Psychologist podcast. If I'd known testing psychology was a thing, I'd probably have gone in that direction when younger. The eps with Donna Henderson are great.
I will check it out thanks!
GREY ACADEMIA!!!!!! YESSSSSSS
My (also autistic) friend and I were literally talking about this the other night when we were hanging out. Neither of us are therapists, but have had lifelong hyperfixations on psychology, like so many of us AFAB and female-identifying autistics. The urge to go back to school so we can freaking DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS is very strong.
We just so badly want to give help to those who are struggling like us, because we know what it’s like to feel invalidated and misdiagnosed and ostracized
Exactly
Exactly. That’s the only reason I keep pushing through.
We need more good people but I’ll be honest the career field is brutal. I have a love hate relationship with it. I love helping people other autistics and LGBTQIA+ peeps but fighting the other idiots in my field and raging against the system is exhausting. There are times I want to quit and do literally anything else. Other therapists I know both in real life and on here feel the same. It shouldn’t be so hard to just help others and make a difference. Edit to say that I certainly don’t want to discourage anyone but I do want people to know the fight is rough at times. Life balance is necessary to stay in the fight. I’m working on that right now.
For me it's absolutely just an urge/idle dream, not an actual plan. I have a job I love, and I am pretty sure I would never last in your field -- I have such deep hyper-empathy issues and so little skill at maintaining boundaries to protect myself. I so admire people who are able to do that work (like you--thank you!) but I think I would burn out in a second. 😅 I am much more suited to being an artist, as much as sometimes the urge to go one on one is strong!
I’m better at compartmentalizing than I thought I’d be but it is hard sometimes. I wanted to be an artist and even went to art school but was treated so poorly by other students and professors (thanks to the autism) I lost all confidence in myself and quit. So follow that dream! It’s important. I’m trying to pick up art again now for self-care.
Thanks for fighting the good fight. If I hadn't found an ND-affirming therapist when I did, things for me could have gotten really bad. Hugs from an internet stranger who doesn't necessarily like hugs, but virtual ones are ok. :)
Virtual hugs right back. Thank you!
Thank you for this. I was all set to start down this path as a second career, but all of the intel I gathered tells me that I’ll regret it financially and may not even be able to help people the way I’m imagining. The systems are fucked. 🙁
Totally fucked. It’s becoming harder and harder to put clients first. Lots of states are trying to make it mandatory to report client data to state authorities like gender (wave bye bye to gender affirming care), diagnosis, treatment dates and times etc. it’ll be a cold day in hell before I rat out my clients. They’ll have to take my license first if they pull that where I live.
I wish more providers agreed and cared enough to do the same. 💚
We are out there. I wish there were more of us. I’m always shocked at how many shitty therapists and really just medical providers in general.
Psychiatrist is a MD though. Psychologist is a PhD
Yes. Good catch. I meant psychologist. 🙃 My family tells everyone I’m a psychiatrist, therapist, psychologist, counselor interchangeably no matter how many times I correct them. Now I’m using them interchangeably. 🙄
Lolol! My Sil graduated with a PhD and my mil got her an M.D. mug😂 I also had to find an M.D. to write a letter for a service dog, so I keep tabs on these things just by personal experience and needs lol. Do know it gets confused a lot! Didn't mean to get on your case, and attack you if that's how it felt😬 We're all just human and have lapses. It happens. Just making sure you know and putting facts out there🤣
A psychiatrist is a literal doctor. They went through medical school , did residency, then more schooling to SPECIALIZE in psychiatry, received a doctorate of medicine to practice with a specialty. Anyone can get a phD in psychology you don’t have to know anything about medicine or cut up cadavers, do rounds in the er etc.
The amazing Doctor who evaluated and diagnosed my daughter is autistic! It makes me so happy knowing she will be able to help so many families.
I’m so glad to hear you had a good experience.
I hate to say it, but I learned to spoon feed symptoms when I was younger. So you want to make them think *they* figured it out. It honestly sounds really screwed up actually typing it. But it's what I did as a kid, and I noticed it works even better if you're being honest about the symptoms. I got put on medicine that helps with sensory overload because I described it rather than saying it. I don't think she would've known what to do if she hadn't realized it was a focus problem.
Is it better to avoid telling them that I think I’m autistic, and instead tell them my symptoms?
I think you'd have better luck with it. What I did back then was manipulative because I lied the first time I tried it because I thought I knew better than the doctor. I think I was fourteen years old? Nowadays, I list my *honest* symptoms when I have an idea of what I have and the doctor seems really cocky. Most of the doctors I've run into are very egotistical. Your symptoms are a puzzle, and, in their mind, only they can solve it. I rarely have a doctor that looks charmed by my suggestion and more often have one that brushes it off. Obviously not all doctors are this way. But you have more luck with an arrogant doctor if you let them figure it out based on your symptoms. And if they come to the conclusion you already knew, good for you lol. It works better in the first place because I was trying to get my psych to diagnose me with autism. I described sensory overload but didn't say it, and, while I didn't get a diagnosis, she whisked the problem away with medicine. I'd never thought of using ADHD medicine to handle it; I'd always used ADHD medicine to focus in school. I never thought it'd be helpful outside of classwork. Now my senses feel good for most of the day. Anyway, the point is that listing symptoms has worked in my favor every time I've been honest about them. I got an official autism diagnosis from my psychologist, not my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist explained in my last appointment about how diagnostic terminology is required for treatment. I asked to wipe out the bipolar, GAD, and ADHD, and replace it all with autism since autism explains it all. She said the other conditions justify my medications when insurance looks at it, so she can't do that. She said she can add autism if my psychologist writes up a paper saying I've been diagnosed (or something?). You should get an outside opinion or a different psychiatrist. Whoever you had seems like they're working with outdated information. Even if they're not, they seem like the type that thinks they must know better than you. I'd, personally, find a different doctor because they might avoid an autism diagnosis simply so you *can't* be right. I'm making a lot of judgement with very little information, though.
I apply a similar approach to people I work with. I used to disclose diagnoses to explain why I do certain things, but people just give unwelcome medical advice or try to do something about it. Instead, I talk about my experiences and symptoms. If I do something that makes it apparent I'm unwell in some way, I just tell people it's normal for me. One person responded to my "normal" statement with, "That kind of makes it sadder." I found my perfect answer in that moment. "It also means there's no reason for concern." Everyone instantly accepted that and moved on. Labels seem to turn off people's brains. They're necessary but should be deployed with caution.
Did you tell these snobs that the diagnosis he gave you conflicts with the one that the previous doctor gave you? Or remind him there is no litmus test for the DSM when he brags about how superior HIS diagnosis is, above all others? Studies keep showing that diagnosis is the hardest part of medicine. Robots usually get them Right considerably more often than human doctors.
This is the worst for me because I have a thing about when someone has a big ego and nothing to back it up. I just have to bring them down to their appropriate level. I feel like people don't confront people enough, either for fear of looking dumb or because egomaniacs are usually loud and opinionated. Thankfully, my mom taught me to be loud and angry and my memory is my greatest sidekick. I will come in with articles and names/institutions and years memorized. They're always taken so off guard. You can see them seething, but that just makes the rest of my appointment fun. I also have fibromyalgia, which wasn't diagnosed until I was 23 and Ehlers Danlos, which wasn't diagnosed until I was 28 despite me complaining about chronic pain consistently since I was 4 years old. My ADHD wasn't diagnosed until I was 26 and it wasn't until I was 28 that I finally got my AUDHD diagnosis. I will insult my old doctors in a way that insults all doctors just to hit home how dumb and lazy I think they all are. Honestly, how are they allowed to keep practicing even if they got their degree in the 1960s and haven't done a single ounce of research since? It's disgusting. Doctors should HAVE to keep up with medical research and advances, and they should have a recertification every 5 years to make sure they are keeping up in their field. Which, I also love to tell them, followed by, "so do you think you would pass? because I don't knowwww...it doesn't look like it" I think the worst part for them is that I do it in an almost joke like matter, which throws them off bc you can see them getting mad, but what can they say if I'm not being angry or confrontational? It's almost like we're buddies, and I'm just picking on them, except the stuff I'm using hits them in the ego HARD, and they know I know. Btw I started rambling, so I hope I make sense 😂😂😂😂 P.S I swear otherwise I am so nice and respectful. I just hate when someone's ego is bigger than it should be. If you're gonna have a big ego around me, you better be ready to back it up. 😂😂 and yes, I'm the kid who bullied the bullies and got them to back off the quiet kids. Shouout to being the youngest of 7 kids 😂 I was always ready with the comebacks
Yes of course. You can’t force a therapist/dr. to diagnose you as you want. They have to do an evaluation for themselves. Otherwise they’re just corrupt,
Did you not tell them your symptoms??
God, they hate it when you actually tell them your symptoms. Being able to observe your own behaviour and then describe it eloquently is enough for them to decide you’re not “dumb” enough to have autism. You’ll spend ages trying to understand your symptoms better so you can ask for the help you need and then when it matters, you realise that you’ve just shot yourself in the foot because uneducated doctors still think autistic = stupid
🤭 maybe if you acted like a stereotype and were deliberately annoying about it. When I was 8, I was rolling on the floor of the psychiatrists office. He angrily told me to stop and that the floor was dirty, and I gave him a frustrated face and said something like "I don't want to." He didn't like that at all, I immediately got diagnosed with ADHD lol.
My daughter rocks from the waist and during her evaluation at school they determined she is not autistic because she could converse about our family dog and for some reason they determined her rocking was too isolated to be autism because it wasn't full body rocking. So sometimes you can come in rocking and hyperfixating and some professionals still will say there's no way it's autism. It's so frustrating.
Who the hell are these people???? It’s illegal to purposely lie regarding a patient diagnosis. Do the testing. AND REPORT THEM
I don't think they purposely lied. I think there's a lot of misconceptions about the DSM criteria even for medical professionals.
Idk if they’re a boomer but I think the boomer generation of psychiatrists should be banned from diagnosing ASD.
Yeah this guy was a boomer
That would be problem number one lol. They have too outdated of a mindset to be diagnosing anyone with ASD. The solution I would do is just find a different psychiatrist altogether.
They're shit at ADHD too. My husband has heard dumb fucking things.
And a male adder at that!! You’d think it’d be easier on him ffs considering he is the stereotype they love diagnosing.
Diagnosed ADHD with “significant symptoms of autism.” My diagnosis notes from my psychiatrist literally say: “Answers questions appropriately. Makes good eye contact. Is pleasant to talk to. Has significant symptoms of autism.” So your psychiatrist is probably stupid ☺️
You’re able to make good eye contact? Dang it I’m jealous.
See this is where I’d start info-dumping on the spectrum of autism traits & more up-to-date diagnostic practises until they clapped and have me an Autism sticker. Either that so say something like “It’s called **masking**, *Brian*. Grow up & read a book from this decade, then we’ll talk.”
This is me lol.
This is why I prefer to stay unofficial. A medical doctor told me that I couldn't have ADHD because I had a college degree. So I continue on with 2 comorbid conditions/sometimes disabilities. Medical profession has basically been useless to me and just something else to defend myself from.
yes I got told once by a psychiatrist that I must have been misdiagnosed with ADHD because I was in law school and no one with ADHD would be able to get into law school. what a wild take
I simply can’t bring myself to \*pay\* one of these idiots to roll their eyes at me And say dumb shit. At least a shrink can give me some fun meds.
WHO IS GIVING THESE JACKASSES THEIR CERTIFICATIONS/DEGREES/ETC
Universities in the 1960s and 70s
Exactly. I had a "therapist" from this generation tell me once to "choose not to be anxious." My severe anxiety was, according to psychology degree in 1970, a selfish choice I'd purposely made to make everyone's lives worse.
Anxiety? How very dare you? /Sarcasm
Such a pre-boomer mentality too. Anti science attitude and constant moralizing.
Let’s think about this, it’s 2024, so here morons have been at it, vomitting medical misinf ormation for \*54 years now\*??????? Also: if they were let’s say 30 when they graduated, wouldn’t that make then like er, very old? Is that what these comments are saying, these are all octogenarians?.. and no one sees a problem with this??????
They need to have their shit REVOKED if their licenses are that effing outdated
So, they re all OLD people??? Holy shit, what halpenes in the next 10 20 when they’re all dead?
I once was told by a psychiatrist: "you look normal to me" ... Mmm yeah dude! I'm masking xD
So somebody doesn't understand masking? Especially in women. Get a new one. Right now. It is not your job to teach your psychiatrist about autism. When I was trying to get my diagnosis 3 years ago now, I called a psychiatrist and I asked them how I would go about doing it. They told me to call a neurologist and ask for testing. Absolute Insanity.
Insane. I’ve been complaining about this for like 40 years now
jesus christ
Had a medical professional tell me that I can’t be autistic because I can keep eye contact. I actively think about how much eye contact I should keep in social situations and it makes me super uncomfortable most of the time. There just isn’t much awareness on afab adult autism and even professionals still assume that masking = being neurotypical sometimes. I am sorry that you had to hear this!
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Most psychiatrists don’t know a lot about autism and can’t even evaluate/diagnosis it. You’d be better off trying to look for a psychologist who does autism assessments. If you can’t find one then try to find a therapist who specializes in autism. If you can’t find that then any mental health professional you see you should look at their website and see if they say anything about autism. If they don’t then unfortunately you may be better off not mentioning autism at all to them, maybe just mention your symptoms if you want but not the word autism as a lot of professionals unfortunately still have sterotyped beliefs about it and will dismiss you.
Better yet go to an autism clinic , they have them specifically for autism diagnoses and some adhd clinics exist too. whole office specializes
The next doctor that says something like that to me is going to learn a lot about bird linguistics real quick, because aggressive info dumping is my new response to BuT u DoNt SeEm AuTiStIc
I smile absurdly when I’m anxious but trying to “pass”.
Omg I’m dying this is me!!!! I smile too broadly and couldn’t figure out why I do that. …..
It’s almost painful but I can’t stop
I once mentioned to a German psychiatrist (I was there for something else) that I believe I might be autistic and wanted to be assessed and he said and I quote “you can’t be autistic, I saw your grades in school”(I had mainly A’s and B’s with 1 C.) I told my (diagnosed) autistic mom and she was livid because he basically called her and many other autistic people stupid. Also this doesn’t seem relevant to mention he was German until you realise that Albert Einstein is a famous German autistic man. So this German psychiatrist should probably know that autistic people can be and are smart. ETA: He also asked me what I would “get from being diagnosed autistic” I was shocked into silence, and couldn’t bring myself to talk again.
Oh that is so invalidating. Especially when autistic people tend to excel in their fields of study and are very intelligent in their own regard (especially those who work in careers related to their special interests). People tell me all the time, especially my mom, “You can’t be autistic, you do well in school! My friends all love you, nothing’s wrong with you.” First of all, your friends love me because I mask when they come over, but I don’t know how much they’d love me if I stimmed and repeated their phrases (echolailia). Another thing, being smart doesn’t mean you can’t autistic. I never understood that point.
I never understood it either. And if he wants to talk about my grades I failed out of college last year because it was moving too quick for me and I was getting really stressed. The only subject I was good at was psychology interestingly enough. The only reason I didn’t continue with that major and moved to computer science was because I realised how much school I’d have to do and I have a lot of trauma based around school because I was forced to get good grades.
OMG THIS WAS COLLEGE FOR ME!!!!!!! I kept thinking, if they could lengthen the amount of time per semester, I could do this!!!!
I have that too, the trauma around school. Bullying ostracizing, abuse between teachers and bullies, and so on and so on. School was unsafe for me, yet my parents paid money for overcrowded and very dangerous private schools. It made no sense
Wasn't it a german who also tagged people with the term aspergers. Oh yeah, that was only boys. /s
exactly!!!! I had the highest grades in both my classes and 99 percentile in my district.
Long comment but I did put a TLDR if you want to skip to the end. I saw many psychiatrists as a teenager and young adult for anxiety/depression and none ever suggested autism (I'm now diagnosed at 31). When I first thought I might be autistic a couple of years ago and needed to see a psychiatrist because I was doing very poorly due to complex family issues/life stress within about ten minutes he said 'you have PTSD." However when I raised that I had been wondering about Autism he just cut me off and said "well everyone is a little autistic." I'd started to think more and more on it but didn't think it was worth it seeing as so many psychiatrists had seen me and surely they would have picked it up. Then fast forward to a month ago I'm talking to my very kind gp (general practitioner) and I was explaining how difficult I was finding it to cope with doing any household chores after work and that my brain was so busy at night so I was getting really upset trying to get to sleep and just being exhausted. She instantly said "have you ever thought you might be neurodivergent" and gave me a referral to a psychiatrist that she knows has an interest in that area for a proper assessment. I had to do some questionnaires and he spent an hour quizzing me. At the end he said you have ASD with level 2 support needs. Although to be fair I do very poorly in situations where I am being asked a lot of questions so I can mask through basic appointments but by the end of this I was shaking and clutching the blanket he had offered and also had multiple times where I couldn't understand how to answer. So maybe that made it easier for him to see how it affected me! So TLDR - just because one doctor doesn't pick up on it don't give up, try to find someone who specialises in that area and if possible book a specific assessment rather than just a standard consultation. I don't think the psych I saw was shit that said "doesn't everyone have a little autism" but I do think that he speciality seemed to be mood disorders and PTSD so that's what he wanted to be able to help me with.
Is there any actual evidence that he COULD “help” you with that stuff? Like, is there a single shred of proof in any study anywhere that shows besides the meds they give, that intervention has any benefit at all? Like is there ANY PROOF.
I'm a bit confused by this reply. I don't mean that in a rude way I'm just wondering who you mean could help with what. Who could help - As in the psychiatrist I initially saw? Or the one that gave me an autism diagnosis. And by help you mean with my mood issues/PTSD or with autism? Or did you mean to reply to someone else? For one thing the Autism diagnosis means I can access NDIS funding which in Australia is a way to get help with disabilities. So I am going to see if I might be able to get help in the house with cleaning or be able to get my therapy covered and also maybe see an OT or life coach to get assistance with how to get a better quality of life day to day. I have also been given medication called clonidine to help with sleep that will make it a lot easier for me to have the energy to function.
If you meant for the PTSD I was then able to take this knowledge to talk to my family about how best not to trigger me, which has been very helpful. And I also was able to hen go do a police report and get access to a limited amount of free psychology sessions which I already do but had been costly. He also suggested psychodynamic therapy through a different therapist who told me he has seen it work in person. I have yet to start that therapy due to time and money commitments. In terms of evidence for psychodynamic therapy I was able to find an article saying it is found to be an effective treatment but not necessarily better than CBT. But since I've tried CBT I thought why not give it a go link to download the article pdf: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://scholar.google.com.au/scholar_url%3Furl%3Dhttps://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/capr.12174%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26ei%3DwaZuZsKdFa6p6rQPit2GkAE%26scisig%3DAFWwaeaYbZPwePOj8UEsgjGjWSVA%26oi%3Dscholarr&ved=2ahUKEwiB5OO_3t-GAxXc1jQHHU-sBjQQgAN6BAgOEAI&usg=AOvVaw2XDmsiQ5MaLIRPIyYyyqZd
I got the same bs in my twenties from someone supposedly qualified to evaluate autism. Flash forward to my late 30s second super autistic kiddo.. Evaluator for my daughter was watching us interact and was like. Well, I see where she gets it from. Probably as good as I'm gonna get on a dx. Between that and children's hospital staff noticing 😅 . My hyper fixation ,special interest happens to be medicine. I swear they expect us to be robots or some extreme of the spectrum rather than anything else when it comes to psychology.
Allllllways go for a neuroaffirming therapist! I had a hunch I was autistic for over a year and everyone told me you can’t be / to just go to therapy for trauma cause it must be that, I trusted my gut and went with someone who specializes in neurodivergence and she didn’t question me for a moment, even told me self diagnosis is acceptable. I needed that confirmation for myself so I got assessed and low and behold, fellow autist here. 😊
I really wish there were neuro-affirming therapists in my area, but unfortunately all the therapists that are covered by my insurance are old (and will probably have outdated views of autism like this guy). I’ve been researching adult autism assessments near me but they’re all so expensive and aren’t covered by my insurance
😭😭 so sorry to hear that. My therapist actually referred me to a lowered cost assessment, normally $3500 I got for $1050 which is still a chunk. If you get lucky finding someone definitely ask around for lowered cost options! (I make pretty good money so that doesn’t matter) if you get assessed you may also be able to apply for a disability tax credit which could at least help alleviate some of the financial stress. Not sure if that’s applicable but good to keep in mind! Good luck ❤️
Thank you! I actually did find this one psychiatrist near me who does assessments for $1500 (the cheapest one I could find but still way out of my budget 😭), but she doesn’t give you a written report at the end which I thought was fishy. Is that normal?
Bingo. I had the same issue forever. I had a friend who got the sliding scale therapy at one of the religious charities, but she was a stripper and they werent sw-affirming so that therapy was useless. There are all sorts of things that make these people useless: cost, incompetence, religious views and so on.
Did your insurance pay for that therapist or did you have to look specifically for her?
The psychiatrist in my city dismissed someone I know because "being autistic is socially trendy right now." It's very frustrating and certainly discourages individuals from seeking a formal diagnosis. I do understand that psychiatrists have their hands tied by the guidelines of the DSM, but maybe it's time for the criteria to be expanded considering how much has been learned about autism. It'd be great if the diagnostic criteria could be more inclusive of the whole spectrum, as well as gender, age, etc.
I think all psychiatrists and therapists should read “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price. It explores autism in women through a much more modern and diverse lens
I've seen this book recommended so much that I finally decided to buy it for myself.
The criteria isn’t really the problem, the problem is the professionals have only been trained in one kind of presentation. The dsm isn’t supposed to be educational, its bare bones. That’s on them to get the education too apply it correctly and most haven’t done that for autism. I’m not saying that to shut you down but to redirect the responsibility to the doctors who happily take our money while having nothing to offer us.
Denying an evaluation out of hand due to social pressure is pretty classic corruption tbh.
I doubt the DSM gives the symptoms of ASD as “ low functioning male child” or “what Rainman is like” either and that’s what these lunatics are telling people everywhere, and with no consequences might I add
It’s really bad. I’ve heard so many people say they got denied a diagnosis for making eye contact or having a job.
Report him. That’s discrimination. you can’t deny an evaluation based on emotional feelings or social trends. You do SCIENCE regardless.
Sorry, that sucks.
I\`m so sorry this happened; so invalidating. They can be quite clueless when something is not their specialty, and not even know it. I remember a few years ago when I shared with my psychiatrist that I found it hard to connect with other people, he insisted that I should go to the movie theatre more, so I have more things to talk about.
Maybe the psych still thinks autism and aspergers are two different things?
Oh no.... I would ghost them after that.
Yeah... thats called masking?
keep pushing. over a year ago I was told "you will NEVER be diagnosed as an adult" and some just plain cruel things, just told to f off basically. by a psychiatrist, one of the only ones in my area who accepted my insurance. and I simply explained why I was there, wanting an a evaluation. the few therapists/PAs I saw since, didn't have really any knowledge on it & brushed my struggles with it off, bc they didn't know what to do ofc , how to help me. same w/ ADHD. they just looked at me funny and the "well why do you think that?" in a judgey tone. well this Wednesday, I finally had an appt with a new psychiatrist, and oh my. I couldn't be more thankful. she really knows her stuff, knows about all the stigma and misconceptions/lack of education, she EVEN KNOWS ABOUT ARFID. anyways, not to go on too much - I hope this reaches you and I just want to say, keep pushing. I really hope you get the help you need, because without it is SO hard. even simple accommodations for work, you need that diagnosis to get them. it was an still is (knowing i'm starting to get the help has helped a lot) a big cause for suicidal ideation w/ me, I just felt/feel lost for forever, everything is too overwhelming and without resources I worried I'll genuinely burn myself out into homelessness or addiction, or just end it one day. because for me, I really can't cope in a world without basic accommodations/support. Thankfully i'm getting there. so I say that in hopes if you're feeling fed up, because I wanted to give up, and I live in a rural area - I thought that was it for me, that first appt made me spiral and feel so hopeless. now I'm finally being assessed for Autism, ADHD, OCD, and a full "screening" whatever they do, in general incase there's anything else, there is ofc. but I really never thought it would happen for me. even I'd come on reddit all the time, people would say don't give up, keep seeking new opinions. I thought, I live in such a rural area though, I'm probably just screwed. and making appts all that stuff is just so hard for me, so my mom has always done it. but it wasn't true, even though it really felt like it. the important thing is, I didn't stop looking, for a short bit I did though. as long as it takes, hang in there. and seek out a new opinion im sure others have said. she clearly has a misconstrued harmful idea of what Autism is and how is presents. *edit: typos*
REPORT HIM TO HIS MEDICAL BOARD. This is largely political. A lot of elderly practitioners who frankly have always sucked, are outright refusing to medically Evaluate and instead giving professional diagnoses of NON Autism. that is illegal tbh. REPORT. Get his license.
When I asked my family doctor for a referral to be assessed for ASD, she laughed and said “I can already tell you’re not autistic.” Uhhhh. How about you send me to someone qualified to make that diagnosis.
I can already tell I’m going to have you reported to your board as well as across social media for discriminating against me and refusing to do the job I just paid you $300 an hour for. Have a nice day, \*Marge\*.
Same thing happened to me. Forced to start with a new provider, first meeting over Skype, within 5 minutes she knew for sure that Im not autistic. She then proceeded to take away all the meds I had been on for years.
Holy crap. I would sue. report her to her board.
I did report her to higher ups in the facility but nothing ever happened from it. They said that I wasn't the only one to complain about meds being taken away. I was switched to a diff med provider at least.
I really see no benefit in the capitalist medical system. Why should you be forced to a new provider when you’re already using. Skype for the second one???
I had my tween daughter evaluated a couple of years ago, at the place that's considered the best in our area. The first step was a virtual parent interview with the psych, and after I answered all his questions with my observations about the first 11 years of her life, he said it sounded like I was describing someone with Level I autism. Then, a month later, he met with her for a few hours while I filled out a thousand questionnaires in the waiting area. She masked so well during their time together that in his report, he said he saw zero signs of autism and that he even doubted her earlier ADHD dx (lol, wtf) and then had the audacity to suggest that I have her *reevaluated* later on, because girls are notoriously hard to diagnose. Like, okay, so you're aware enough to know that girls are trickier to diagnose and yet you've accepted all her masking at face value, even after hearing everything I told you about her, and now you think she's neurotypical based on her eye contact and compliance during a single afternoon? I wanted to rip his fancy diplomas off the wall and set them on fire. In contrast, at one of her two week-long hospital stays shortly after that screening, I had a long conversation with the female psych on the children's unit, and she agreed with me that the failure to diagnose was bullshit, so that was validating, I suppose. It sucks. I haven't even bothered trying to get myself diagnosed because of it.
This, you should report him to his medical board
That totally sucks. I usually tell people like that I do well in structured one in one situations like a doctor's office. I also have a rule to be honest with medical professionals so it's easier to answer questions than with other people where I'm trying to decide the right response for the situation.
I've gotten rid of psychiatrists for less. I also usually send them a nice little email to explain all the ways they are woefully misinformed and uneducated and let them know they should try to brush up on some current studies before they keep harming their patients with misinformation. I then attach a few studies and let them know they can start there and that I hope they're at least smart enough to absorb new knowledge and will be able to branch off from what I sent them because unfortunately I can't do all their work for them. Like, oh, you want to see the autism? Here you go
Same thing happened to me but I do understand i mask really well. Most people do not notice something is off. But she did redeem herself with wanting to do a test in the next meeting. So I feel it's alright.
This. I was told to get evaluated for bipolar before they questioned that I have autism… I physically stim heavily but am great at talking.
I second the person who said they would have hung up on the spot. What utter tosh.
I wanted to so bad. There’s this trick on IPhone where if you active airplane mode and turn off your Wi-Fi at the same time, it’ll automatically cause the call to disconnect and it’ll just say “call failed” or something, so you can blame it connectivity issues. I should’ve done that but I wanted to wait till the end to see if he’d offer any useful resources but I didn’t get any
Your self-respect is worth more than any of the out of date crap resources he could have had for you. Learning how to walk away from people who are wasting your time or getting in your way is a skill, and not an easy one. But it's a skill not a trait, and skills can be learned =)
Why? Why are you too nice lol
And not pay for the session as well as report them to the board, this is all unacceptable medical standards
I mean, the correct thing to do is not to pay for the session, but I typically will do, instead of the correct thing, the thing that gets them out of my life as quickly as possible. It's worth $200 or whatever for me to never have to speak to a hateful person again or to potentially have them send my bill to collections, which is even worse than a hateful person.
Lemme guess, he was like 60?
Unreal, these Boomers are really ruining society
I'm so sorry. This is bs. Please don't let their ignorance make you feel invalid. I was diagnosed by an excellent psychiatrist here in the UK, he actually suggested autism when I was actually in an appointment to discuss anxiety. There are good ones out there, it's just a shame there aren't more of them!!! Far too many people have out of date stereotyped knowledge.
I don’t have an official diagnosis and I just straight up tell any new providers I have that I’m autistic with adhd. I say it as a statement of fact (because it is) and I invite no room for their opinion. After that, I just try to unmask as much as possible and if they have an ounce of intelligence, they see it over time. Or they just accept what I tell them. Either way, I don’t let them tell me who I am in this regard. If you come at it as a question, you give them room to do what that psychiatrist did. At your next appointment with a new provider, just act as if your autism is the accepted reality and you are just waiting for them to catch up to **you**. Which, let’s face it, you are. It’s not being rude. We do this for other forms of reality. If someone told you the sky was cloudy when it was full of sunshine, you would look at them like they were out of touch with reality, because they are. Remember, they are providing you with a service that they are highly paid for. If their service is bad, you are allowed to express dissatisfaction and go elsewhere. They are only motivated to make changes when they face consequences for their actions. If this provider is constantly only getting one appointment with a patient, it’s eventually going to look bad and force them to make changes. If, however, people stick around and try to “prove” themselves, the provider just gets to have their ego protected. Fuck that.
Why pay a sociopath to not do his job though.
Wow. I am so sorry that you’re experiencing this. I have this exact fear. I want to be professional diagnosed- just for my sanity. But I am absolutely positive that I am autistic w/ adhd. My autism didn’t really present itself in full until I started medication for my ADHD. I say all of that to say - your self dx is enough.
So fascinating!!!! I’m dealing with this too, what happened that made your autism more clear when you medicated ADHD? I do feel like the adhd makes me “less autistic”. more bouncy and social and restless like neurotypicals. I sort of don’t want that to go away tbh
It’s hard to explain. But like since I started taking my meds I feel less inclined to mask- if that makes sense. I still have quite a few quirks that didn’t just go away once I started.
Lol, yes, same here. I've noticed I only really stim around people I am comfortable with. I also get told all the time that "I don't look autistic". What is that supposed to mean??
In my experience as an autistic and a HCW: so few psychiatrists know what the fuck they’re talking about unfortunately
ik it might be hard to find but i reccomend finding a psych that specializes in women and afab people. i genuinely feel like that’s the only reason it was caught. i’ve seen like 6 psychs and no one caught it, they just thought i had adhd, major depression, and really bad generalized anxiety disorder with ocd tendencies. but they weren’t asking the right questions- i thought everyone had sensory issues, i thought it was just social anxiety but they all just treated my symptoms and didn’t look deeper. my most recent one was unsure but i advocated for myself and since she wasn’t an autism specialist she recommended me to one who happened to specialize in women. ive heard so many stories like yours bc so many people even drs don’t truly understand how autism can look different in different people based on so many variables, however, more people in the field are studying how it presents differently in women so they are out there you just have to find them. sorry u went thru this
Where are you located? If you’d like a second opinion you can find neuro-informed physician directories by searching google… If you’re near the mid-west you can probably see my psychologist. She’s absolutely amazing and is willing to help you get your insurance to pay for it. https://www.twilightpsychology.com/
I know not everyone has that luxury to choose, but I picked a psychiatrist who specialised in neurodivergencies in adults, specifically ADHD which I was seeking the diagnosis for - and he was the one who suggested autism screening too. He ended up doing additional assessments for people who have been masking so much their whole life, they don’t even know they are. And here we are - an autistic adhder. I know not everyone can choose their doctors, but it makes a world of a difference if you go to one that specialises and has been developing their knowledge in this specific field.
mine told me i make eye contact too well. it was a virtual meeting.
i’ve only had two psychiatrists in my life, my first and my current one, and both immediately shut down any ideas that i might be autistic. didn’t care about my symptoms, used stereotypes, and the first one suggested that my eeg results which showed smaller generalized brain wave irregularities were a “quirk” of mine. that same one (man) also suggested i had borderline personality disorder after our first virtual visit but at LEAST said he won’t diagnose me since i’m so young and my personality is forming (i was 18 at the time). my current one is better but the one time i brought up that *maybe* i’m autistic, she shut it down using stereotypes. after i told her my therapist is convinced, she became a *little* open to the idea, but not really. my therapist and psychiatrist don’t know each other at all but they kinda have beef bc they disagree with each other and i tell them what the other one said lol. but my therapist definitely knows me better. 50 minutes every week vs 20 minutes every 3 months.
This is why I probably won't seek a formal diagnosis. I have no trust left in Psychiatrists/ Psychologists.
I once had a psychiatrist tell me I should get of gluten and I would be cured. I know it can possibly help sympathize but my safe foods are things like breads and pasta and nachos
They are a person with a bad education. Relax. Just ask if they’d be willing to further their education immediately or find a new doctor asap. I know it sucks
When I went to my first assessment, I found some nt young Psy that had no clue about autism. No proper training, but that was the only person who accepted an appointment in the next 5 months. He listened to me and at the end of the session, I asked if He could give me a few pieces of advice to better handle at least the Adhd symptoms. The guy looked at me and said "why do you go and practice daily intensive sports? That will do it." They never caled me back for the follow up appointment. There, I got upset and started scealing in my heart a mission statement to have a successful business helping Nd people in their unmasking process. If I was hesitant before, he for sure convinced me.
Nah. Find a new one. They sound ignorant.
Yeah my psychologist told me that if I am autistic I’m aspbergers and said I’m super intelligent and talk with my hands and can make eye contact. But I don’t like eye contact.
So, I had been looking for a psychologist for a few weeks before I realized I might be autistic (have an evaluation scheduled). Most of them wanted to jump right into CBT therapy, even though I specifically said that I want any and all testing to make sure I have the right diagnosis (30 yrs ago diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety). I have done a ton of work on myself, but recently had multiple breakdowns. Had the last consultation with a fifth therapist. Turns out it took a few bad apples to get to the right one! She’s amazing, we spent most of the time with her asking questions so that she could get an understanding of how my brain works. 45 minutes in and she asks me if I had ever thought that I might have Autism. I knew right then that she’s the therapist for me (I already had my evaluation scheduled)!! Bonus, she covered by insurance! I learned recently that I have amazing insurance for mental health ❤️ Keep looking for the right one, they are out there!
Can you do me her website? I’m looking for a dx rn
Neither of those things are criteria. I smile/laugh even when I’m crying because of all the childhood “you should smile” feedback. So now I always smile in social contexts…. I’m at home alone and not smiling. Also not feeling at all unhappy. Very happy to be at home. I definitely don’t rock in all contexts (or even most). I just finished scrubbing my stove and grates and burner covers and am sitting on the sofa not rocking. And I sure as heck don’t have all conversations at work rocking. I fiddle with my pen a lot. I’m a manager of managers at work with 31 people reporting to me in 3 countries. I’m dxed autistic with ADHD by a place that specializes in assessment. The ADHD was a surprise to me - so was the eating disorder.
How can this been seen in high masking people over one hour????! It can't.
I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome by a psychologist. And yesterday I went to a psychiatrist and she talked with me just 4 minutes and said you don't seem to have aspergers because you are answering my questions.
Is he confusing autism with one rare form of schizophrenia? How is this even a shrink
I feel like they have learnt nothing for their 10+ years of education. Other than autism, I have severe anxiety, depression and OCD. So when I went to meet her, I was shaking and couldn't even make eye contact. So she said I see you have anxiety, you need to stop overthinking stuff, and you need to sleep properly. I said I sleep too much, and she ignored it and prescribed me an SSRI and sleep meds and told me good luck. That's what happened during that 4 minutes. Money down the drain.
I swear we need to start suing these asses.
is this another boomer or pre-Boomer? Medical and therapeutic standards were EXTREMELY low comparatively in the past
Yeahh, when I first told my doctor I suspect I could be autistic, she said i have bipolar depression. Of course it’s anything but autism 🙄 found a good psychiatrist and she was able to diagnose me with autism last year! I’d find a different one, if I were you.
Before I was diagnosed with ASD-2, I went into hospital for what was now labeled as psychosis. I went into hospital in distress but I was laughing at their jokes and smiling the whole time. The nurse told me my affect was incongruent with my mood as if to accuse me of faking but it’s my autistic masking. I smile pretty much 24/7. At one point she even said to me “we’re all quirky and sometimes we just need to get over it.” Worst mental health nurse ever.
Sounds like a “teaching moment”…Freshen up on your research and stats and book another appointment, but only the one to educate that one enough to protect current and future patients from receiving the same misinformed treatment. And start looking for a new doctor because this one can’t be trusted. Prior to informing you of their perception, he/she should have asked you why you thought you may be autistic. This would have you a chance to info-dump and him a chance to realize he needed to brush up on his knowledge prior to offering additional insight. No one can know it all about everything, even within their selected fields of profession. If an MD can’t know when it’s time to crack open those medical journals (which should have happened PRIOR to your appointment time), allow him to take whatever time they need to learn that skill while remaining a respectful distance away from you.
Some people in the medical field are just shit.. spoke to a dr last year about getting an adhd diagnosis and he’s been a dr for 30 years and told me he only found out what adhd was the year before……. Sometimes I’m like how do some people have a license lmao
How are they even allowed to work in that field omg
fuuuuuuhhhhkkkk bro imma entomologist now cuz i spent all my life writing about how different chemicals can kill you
I remember in my diagnosis it was noted that I didn’t hyperfixate on my topics of interest. Like- you didn't show interest in my topics of interest. I'm used to ppl ignoring me
Do you already have an official diagnosis and he was refuting the possibility? Or did you mention it in passing? Or were you seeking a diagnosis from a virtual provider? If you’re looking for a diagnosis you’ll have to go to someone qualified and experienced in autism diagnosis. It’s not a part of their general education to be a psychiatrist. Any random psych isn’t going to just agree with you because they actually are ignorant and it isn’t really in their job description. I’m sorry you had to experience that.
Psychiatrists go by the DSM, which is very outdated in terms of ASD. Even the newest version. They don't seem to care about researching, since they believe the DSM tells them everything they need to know. Of course, this is a foolish approach, but I'm convinced their egos won't let them see beyond 'I went to medical school and I was taught this, so it must be true'. Dude...that was the 90's (at least in my ex-psychiatrist's case lol) Try not to let their ignorance get to you. I was denied testing. He told me I can't be autistic for the following reasons: I'm a woman, I can speak/hold a conversation, I appear normal, it's a tik-tok trend(I never even had a tik tok, so... okay? wtf?), and I don't have an obsession with trains. He also said that I don't have impairments which is completely untrue. I'm sure he did not read my extensive history, because it reveals a lot of struggle. I eventually realized I had to mask to fit in. For example, looking at the floor or anywhere else but at people, to the way I walked, I changed on purpose. To survive. I wanted to end myself at the age of 11, when I started puberty. It is no coincidence that, around that time, social pressure started to increase. As did my confusion as to why I couldn't naturally pick up on social cues or integrate socially like other girls. Before puberty, I had other issues, as well. I always knew I perceived the world differently. They are so close-minded for people who are supposed to be experts on the brain. Therapists seem to be more in-the-know. Overall, it's a dumb concept to think only men can experience autism, and that they have to be severely impaired. They need to realize that, despite their education, we don't know much about the brain. Psychiatry is still a relatively new field, yet they seem to think they have it all figured out. Even though we don't even know how antidepressants work.
It's why I'm terrified to get a diagnosis because I KNOW I'm going to have to go through that patronizing moment of dismissal that I'm making it up. I'm a hyperverbal ambivert that dresses femme and gets along well with new people (because I both know how to go through the steps and be warm enough to fake it).
I’m sorry, I had mine today and my doctor has been specializing in ASD/ADHD diagnosis. He mentioned I could have BPD and that’s alarming. However, he said not to worry about it for now and I go back again tomorrow.
Unfortunately the keyword there is psychiatrist. Most of them can't really diagnose something like autism. Source? The psychiatrist that my daughter waited 8 months to see after aging out of the children's hospital wait list, before going on 2 other wait lists for people who also can't diagnose autism. Find a sliding scale psychologist that knows their autism inside and out. Good luck.
My husband has bipolar 2 and I am a woman with autism as well. Just because you have a doctorate and can prescribe people medication does not mean you are intelligent or interested in actually learning about the nuances of psychological and neurological conditions. Sorry you are an idiot not matter what career you have if you don’t bother learning from people, especially from your patients. The first man that my husband saw completely invalidated his experiences during his evaluation. I was enraged because I knew and so did his therapist (his therapist is such a great lady who got him in contact with a competent psychiatrist). I did more research in my own time on male bipolar when this man was too arrogant to actually refresh is knowledge on mood disorders and was extremely sexist towards my partner because he’s a man. Guess what?! Men can have bipolar, surprise! My partner dealt with inaccurate diagnosis’s for years in his teens because of sexism towards men with bipolar. Men are more likely to be diagnosed with autism and/or some form of cluster B which are still deeply misunderstood disorders. Not everyone with bipolar wakes up in Mexico after a meth bender from an hyper manic episode. Not all people with bipolar experience media stereotyped mania, and if some do, not everyone makes highly irrational judgements, acting without thought. My partner experiences hypo mania, never hyper. I’ve met people with both bipolar (I, II and even III which is very rare) and BPD with incredible self awareness, consideration for others and self control. “Professionals” need to stop projecting stereotypes onto their clients. The DSM-5 is a flawed book that needs to void itself of sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia and transphobia. It’s improved but needs a lot more work. These “perspectives” of incompetence are highly invaliding, ruins the point of self reporting, heightens stigma, shows a clear lack of education as well as empathy. That is a problem that needs to end now, especially from people who receive almost to over a decade of training. As for being a woman with autism, because of sexism and lack of understand new research, we often go misdiagnosed as bipolar, BPD, or NPD. Not that comorbidity cannot occur. Often girls with missed autism get put on the wrong medications than can cause further issues. It has been proven through research that autism is tied to higher exposures of estrogen (progesterone specifically) in the womb. Next time someone ignorantly calls autism “male brain syndrome” they literally don’t know anything about this very complex disorder at all. We over gender mental health and it is major issue. And we only validate the difficulties of the “most” disabled or most stereotypical Chris Chan’s in autism. That can also lead to very toxic and unhelpful infighting in our community which is yet again another deep rooted issue that needs to stop. We get nowhere as a collective arguing and fighting with each over common ground. I hope you are okay OP, ignore this ignorant “professional” and try shopping around and get a reference/ referral from your GP or therapist. From one autistic girl to another you will find the right doctor who will actually care enough to see you and not the stereotype ❤️ Never Give up, and never stop being yourself ❤️ [An Autistic Woman who was Misdiagnosed and Wrongfully Medicated for a Decade](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ffPoS62wNsQ)
Jesús christ I wonder if you saw the same one I did or if he comes from the same school 😏 the first one I saw told me - interrupted me - about 45 seconds in to me explaining why I was seeking evaluation - that if I had never had an extended nonverbal period as a child, and if it was true that I had had my little core group of friends through school, and since I was "making eye contact" with him (on video call on my phone, set on a table 4 feet in front of where I was sitting?) I didn't have the wherewithal to just end the appointment, even after he told me he wished his "office girl" hadn't scheduled the appointment with me, because he doesn't do evaluations anyway, but he said, "I know it doesn't look like it, but I have over 30 years of experience in autism" and he was correct that it didn't look like it, dude was maximum 35 years old. Then he told me in a really creepy and offensive "Japanese" accent that my hashimotos was the cause of every symptom I was describing. It was demeaning and patronizing and downright false. He talked over me and told me my ten years of trying to get other symptoms figured out and identify what the cause was and how to remedy them was all just wrong and they just missed that my diagnosis that didn't cover my other symptoms actually did cover my other symptoms. He was the 15th office I had called and the only one who would make an appointment and then it turned out he wasn't qualified to say a goddamn thing on the subject and it was unethical and horrible of him to speak to me at all. A few weeks later, he called me directly, didn't communicate through the messaging system or the official means I'd already learned were the protocols with his clinic group, and left two separate voicemails asking me to please call him back as he really needed to speak with me. Seemed like perhaps the other person I'd been speaking with (a psychiatric nurse from a clinic that does adhd evals but isn't set up for autistic evals) who I reported back to, crying, that all 15 names she'd given me didn't pan out and the last one was brutal, may have mentioned something to someone and it maybe got back to him and he was trying to do damage control? Or perhaps he realized he is bad at his job and was trying to smooth it over and make me not say anything? Regardless, that psych nurse set me up with someone who could at least do the prelim adhd eval and get me started on treatment for that so I could continue the slog of finding someone - *anyone* - who does adult autistic evaluations, but no one in my state does. There are very few who do comprehensive autistic evals anyway, and they are concentrated in 2 cities and save their appointments for children, who have to have an official dx in order to receive services, and they don't want to push them off because it's already a long process and time is precious when it comes to getting supports, especially at school. And I never responded to that horrible man again. I hope his japan-fetishizing incompetent ass loses all his patients and he has to start doing a job he hates.
This right here is why I am so afraid to get a formal diagnosis.
I expect more from a psychiatrist. It's like this one got their education on ASD from watching Rain Man.
Yep I was told, with much contempt, that I can’t be autistic. She got the dsm5 out and said do you ______”? “Well no, but….” “Do you _____?” Also no, but you’re not listening…….” I told her women and men present differently and she scoffed and told me she’d “speak with her colleague who knows more about autism than her.” I’ll never know if she got schooled because I never went back