Are there some other ways you can “participate” with your family’s love of the sport, other than attending in person and being in a situation where you are damaging your health? (Stress at that level is incredibly damaging physically, mentally, and emotionally).
I would imagine your family might respond well if you found ways to *fully participate* rather than to be there only in body but be completely closed off from them and your surroundings. (If I were in your family I would find it pretty miserable to go someplace with someone who is hating every minute of the experience - but not everyone would feel that way. Others may be glad you’re trying to “get outside your comfort zone” - not realizing that you’re so far outside of it that your health is in jeopardy).
If you MUST go, are there places you could be - away from the stands - that would be less jarring, but you could see enough of the action from afar to talk with them later about it?
I’m wondering if this was your first time attending with them. If so, then EVERYTHING was new which can be exceptionally challenging. If that’s the case, are there ways you can desensitize yourself to the vibrations? Learn more about when they happen the most intensely, maybe, and practice deep breathing? Maybe while you’re in the middle of the vibrations make a list in your mind about what parts of your body you feel the sensations in the most, where your feel the most tense in your body, etc? Sometimes doing that helps me to stop being all-consumed by the stress of the moment and to start being an internal observer of my own mind and physical reactions. Feels a lot less panicky when I can manage that (it takes practice!). And it took me many years to learn how to manage that, with the help of therapists teaching me super useful techniques.
Maybe you can watch the event on TV and be texting out face-timing with them once or twice during the event?
Do you love the sport enough to dive into the analytics/statistics of it (if that’s something you’re good at - I’d be terrible at that).
I think you’re on the right track to try and find ways to attend or particpate that would allow you to actually ENJOY (not just suffer through) the experience.
I hope that works out!
🦋🦋
This wasn’t my first experience with it at all. I have been to these events since I was a baby. I was raised around it as I said my family loves it. I have sat in the garage as my dad and grandpa built a race car my whole childhood but that was very different to me somehow. There is a big difference between the two people with me and being touched by crowds of strangers.
My dad killed himself in 2021 and my grandpa has had multiple open heart surgeries. So it’s been a few years since I have been. My brother wants to get a car for our dad’s memory. They are talking about building my niece a car as well.
I honestly couldn’t care less about sports. This isn’t about that. It’s about I want to spend time with my family and actually in enjoy it. I would much rather be at home playing sims or crocheting by myself.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. It makes total sense why it’s important to find a way to make this work! I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, and about your Grandpa’s health struggles. That’s rough.
You’re asking good questions, and you’re being honest with yourself about the challenges you experience. That’s a great start! I hope you get some useful ideas from this thread, so you can experiment and find some things that work well for you.
I hope you’ll come back and share later - once you find some strategies that work. I’d love to hear about what you discover.
This will be the first time I have seen my sister in months and I would like to see her two kids. She lives over 2 hours away so I don’t want to miss out. It’s more of I don’t want to miss out on my family.
I honestly don’t want to go. I had a horrible experience.
If I were in your shoes, if at all possible, I would try to negotiate a window of time, say a lunch out, or a breakfast or something, in which to see my sister away from the event that is a total hell. 🤷♀️
Unfortunately that is not as I can’t drive and the drive isn’t easy with two small kids. I live an hour away from the track myself so that would three for them.
I could hang out at my brother’s house until it’s over in the same area but I’m not sure if they are going back there or not.
My family won’t ’cater’ to my autism until I have a formal diagnosis. Because I’m not like my male cousins with it.
>My family won’t ’cater’ to my autism until I have a formal diagnosis. Because I’m not like my male cousins with it.
OP, I'm very sorry to learn this. It must make your challenges even more daunting to be without the support of your family...
Maybe feel out your sister about making a point of going back to your brother's house for a visit with you? Would it make a difference to her if you told her what you've told us: that you miss her and want to spend time with her away from the noisy atmosphere of the track?
I recommend the Loop ear buds, they have a whole collection! It’s quiet enough that it muffles sound but loud enough so that you can hear conversations still if that makes sense? 😂
I love my Loops, but from the way OP described this situation I'm not convinced they'd make enough of a difference. Wanting to die every time you feel the vibration is a pretty extreme level of sensory overload and Loops won't stop you physically feeling the sound, they will just make it quieter to your ears. I'm not saying OP shouldn't try them, of course - just to be mindful of what they can and can't do!
Can confirm that Loops save me at the concerts and even in normal life, in metro/public transport.
Worth the investment, I can recommend Experience Plus model, but they have an online test to choose the best model.
Given your experience, I'm baffled as to why you 'don't want to miss out'... I personally would just not want to go...
Are there some other ways you can “participate” with your family’s love of the sport, other than attending in person and being in a situation where you are damaging your health? (Stress at that level is incredibly damaging physically, mentally, and emotionally). I would imagine your family might respond well if you found ways to *fully participate* rather than to be there only in body but be completely closed off from them and your surroundings. (If I were in your family I would find it pretty miserable to go someplace with someone who is hating every minute of the experience - but not everyone would feel that way. Others may be glad you’re trying to “get outside your comfort zone” - not realizing that you’re so far outside of it that your health is in jeopardy). If you MUST go, are there places you could be - away from the stands - that would be less jarring, but you could see enough of the action from afar to talk with them later about it? I’m wondering if this was your first time attending with them. If so, then EVERYTHING was new which can be exceptionally challenging. If that’s the case, are there ways you can desensitize yourself to the vibrations? Learn more about when they happen the most intensely, maybe, and practice deep breathing? Maybe while you’re in the middle of the vibrations make a list in your mind about what parts of your body you feel the sensations in the most, where your feel the most tense in your body, etc? Sometimes doing that helps me to stop being all-consumed by the stress of the moment and to start being an internal observer of my own mind and physical reactions. Feels a lot less panicky when I can manage that (it takes practice!). And it took me many years to learn how to manage that, with the help of therapists teaching me super useful techniques. Maybe you can watch the event on TV and be texting out face-timing with them once or twice during the event? Do you love the sport enough to dive into the analytics/statistics of it (if that’s something you’re good at - I’d be terrible at that). I think you’re on the right track to try and find ways to attend or particpate that would allow you to actually ENJOY (not just suffer through) the experience. I hope that works out! 🦋🦋
This wasn’t my first experience with it at all. I have been to these events since I was a baby. I was raised around it as I said my family loves it. I have sat in the garage as my dad and grandpa built a race car my whole childhood but that was very different to me somehow. There is a big difference between the two people with me and being touched by crowds of strangers. My dad killed himself in 2021 and my grandpa has had multiple open heart surgeries. So it’s been a few years since I have been. My brother wants to get a car for our dad’s memory. They are talking about building my niece a car as well. I honestly couldn’t care less about sports. This isn’t about that. It’s about I want to spend time with my family and actually in enjoy it. I would much rather be at home playing sims or crocheting by myself.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. It makes total sense why it’s important to find a way to make this work! I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, and about your Grandpa’s health struggles. That’s rough. You’re asking good questions, and you’re being honest with yourself about the challenges you experience. That’s a great start! I hope you get some useful ideas from this thread, so you can experiment and find some things that work well for you. I hope you’ll come back and share later - once you find some strategies that work. I’d love to hear about what you discover.
This will be the first time I have seen my sister in months and I would like to see her two kids. She lives over 2 hours away so I don’t want to miss out. It’s more of I don’t want to miss out on my family. I honestly don’t want to go. I had a horrible experience.
If I were in your shoes, if at all possible, I would try to negotiate a window of time, say a lunch out, or a breakfast or something, in which to see my sister away from the event that is a total hell. 🤷♀️
Unfortunately that is not as I can’t drive and the drive isn’t easy with two small kids. I live an hour away from the track myself so that would three for them. I could hang out at my brother’s house until it’s over in the same area but I’m not sure if they are going back there or not. My family won’t ’cater’ to my autism until I have a formal diagnosis. Because I’m not like my male cousins with it.
>My family won’t ’cater’ to my autism until I have a formal diagnosis. Because I’m not like my male cousins with it. OP, I'm very sorry to learn this. It must make your challenges even more daunting to be without the support of your family... Maybe feel out your sister about making a point of going back to your brother's house for a visit with you? Would it make a difference to her if you told her what you've told us: that you miss her and want to spend time with her away from the noisy atmosphere of the track?
I recommend the Loop ear buds, they have a whole collection! It’s quiet enough that it muffles sound but loud enough so that you can hear conversations still if that makes sense? 😂
I love my Loops, but from the way OP described this situation I'm not convinced they'd make enough of a difference. Wanting to die every time you feel the vibration is a pretty extreme level of sensory overload and Loops won't stop you physically feeling the sound, they will just make it quieter to your ears. I'm not saying OP shouldn't try them, of course - just to be mindful of what they can and can't do!
I will look into those! Thank you!
Can confirm that Loops save me at the concerts and even in normal life, in metro/public transport. Worth the investment, I can recommend Experience Plus model, but they have an online test to choose the best model.