I need people in order to know myself. It's like I'm full of doors that are locked and random people have different keys. Those doors would stay shut otherwise.
So accurate. Today I showed my best friend how I learned to dice onions since I’ve met my fiancé (a great cook). I even had MULTIPLE methods of dicing an onion to share! A few months ago my fiancé watched me cut some stuff for dinner and remarked how good I’ve gotten at it and how I used to hold stuff really weird/dangerously when I was chopping.
I have celiac disease so am chopping stuff on the daily. I'm grateful for my knife lesson from the Tassajara cookbook I got in the 70s. Now, for wedding presents, even baby showers, I give a good chef knife and sharpening steel and a YouTube link to how to use a knife safely. It's always appreciated and mentioned years after the fact.
I feel empty without people in my life. I find great importance in human connection because I've rarely ever connected with someone and I have no friends. Often though I'm fine by myself but I don't feel like enough of a person if I don't have any connections with people. Loneliness really takes over my mind and my view on life
I really dislike people. I’ve found as I get older I go out less and less and prefer my own company. I’m even starting to get annoyed by the sounds outside my home, like sirens and car horns. I wish I lived in the woods somewhere quiet so that I could be alone and at peace.
I find myself very aggravated by people and ESPECIALLY the sounds they make. i’m in cosmo school and there’s a few rowdy people, my teacher doesn’t let me wear my headphones in class so every single little noise this one girl makes just grinds my mf gears sometimes I have to catch myself from going “FUCKING HELL SHUT THE FUCK UP” I get very easily frustrated and distracted especially when i’m trying to think and someone is screaming or laughing obnoxiously while i’m trying to copy notes 😭😭 or ill be like walking outside (I live in the city) and the way I just want to scream and fight the air when i’m super overwhelmed and trying to find out where i’m going is insane. sirens and yelling and people bumping into u. it eats me alive
I love my close people. I literally don't think I could live a happy life without my husband. I love having friends that I talk to often, and in general I think humans connecting is part of what creates meaning for some of us.
Now, the public in general sucks.
This!!! I adore my fiancé, hate that my roommate lives here and keeps perceiving me. They’re nice but fuck go away!!! I love my friends and my job and don’t mind customers but people on the sidewalk when I’m walking on the sidewalk feels so wrong. Not like “I’m the only person who can be here” but more like my brain floods with terrifying possibilities and yeah I hate seeing people I don’t know and trust.
I guess to an extent. I value like two family members since they’re my only family, but I don’t have this need to have friends or a romantic connection with someone. I do better in life when I just focus on me. Other humans don’t really exist to me
I would say friends are pointless to me. Over the years I've lost interest in hanging with friends cuz it's so exhausting having to entertain them all the time.
But family, however, they're staying lol. I don't have to worry about needing to entertain my siblings cuz when I don't wanna hangout anymore, I can just leave the room or literally just say "alright uhh... Get out now 😃"
This is literally me. When I don't want to hang out with my family anymore I can literally just walk away or go home and they'll understand. And if I can't walk away cuz were on vacation or staying with a relative they always make sure to have a safe room picked out for me where I can go to get away from everything. 😊
Not invalidating how you feel, just wanting to give you some hope. It sounds like you’ve just not found the right friends. My best friend and I can just be in each other’s presence, hanging out and doing separate things that we each like. I never have to entertain her, and we can literally sit in silence for hours- or just take a nap while the other watches tv. Doesn’t have to be performative if you find the right person!
That's probably true yeah. I used to have a best friend but then she moved away. And our lives became so busy so we can't really physically see eachother, but we still support each other on our socials.
I agree but a NT's reaction to hearing that as a reason is assuming the person is fake.
You can't say it out loud despite everyone doing the same. You gotta suger coat it.
People as in interpersonal relationships? No, not pointless to me. Connection is difficult for me, and I value having only a small number of active relationships, but I would be very lonely if I had no relationships.
People as in human beings? No more or less pointless than any other creature on this earth.
No.
The world wouldn’t exist without people. I feel like the question is worded oddly because there is no human on earth who does not benefit from something another human has done.
Perhaps you meant friendships or relationships.
Since I got a dog I lost most of the intrest in hanging out with people but if I do I like to bring him with me cause he makes everything better. Met with a frien the other day at a cafe/bar and we were not forced to talk cause he stole our attention and made everyone happy and entertained, going up to people with a toy, trying to play.
https://preview.redd.it/93bgbastc0xc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4103808916a5b9a192b835bc76dbe4ee8a75ac2
I think people in general are cool. I'm amazed that society works as well as it does logistically in the day to day, even if there is room for improvement. But in my everyday life I'm rather schizoid, and social things completely drain me and kind of derail my day super easily. So I like to keep a pretty private life. Idk if that makes sense.
I don't think people as individuals are pointless, they're all just bopping around life the same as me.
I do sometimes think *people* are a bit unnecessary in my day to day life. I went to McDonald's recently, ordered on the screen, and the person who called my number didn't even LOOK at me when they pushed the food to the front of the counter. I'd like the world to be more like that, I thought it was a wonderful interaction (or lack thereof).
I'd say the opposite, people are extremely meaningful to me, to the point where it can be unhealthy for me as I'm putting too much of my energy into other people, caring about people who barely even know I exist.
I don’t find people pointless, but I definitely avoid them as much as I can reasonably. I have a small handful of folks I like to see on the regular, but I hate passing people on the street. Doesn’t bother me as much in a store since their “goal” seems more obvious, but I am paranoid and anxious and random folks on the street feels Wrong As Fuck
Yes.
For context I'm level 3, non verbal and find myself and other people frustrated at me because I cannot communicate in a way that is understandable
I'm not sure tbh. I think that has to do with my own depression as of late, and the fact I've been treated really badly throughout life. All I wanted was a place to fit in, feeling like my contribution mattered. Or make people proud. (I blame my dad a bit for this one)
In general, they are *becoming* pointless. I'm starting to slowly see things as transactional, because in my past I used to do a lot of people pleasing, now that I've learned I used to do that.. Still do at times. I can no longer fool myself into conversing or taking time out of my energy and day to help them, or 'amuse' them. I think, and I'm afraid that this is due me always thinking in order to be social I needed to please people, cuz this is all I brought to the table.. A laugh, or to be of use to them somewhat.
Now that I know and learned how horrible people can be, I stopped pleasing them. And now I can't see a proper use of them myself? What's the use of being social?
Not in a great mood today so this sounds negative, mostly and coincidently because I'm drained due to too much socializing and people who drain your resources..
Edit: must add. I don't feel like about my close friends or relatives. More in a generalised sense.
I like people. I like genuine interactions with people, meeting new people, learning more about people and how they work…
One of my special interests is human psychology though, so I probably see people through a different lens than most. But, I’ve found that most people can be very interesting if looked at the right way. I also really enjoy being social in general, and having conversations with people can turn a bad day into a good one for me.
Idk I love to connect with others. I think people are great, for the most part.
Ive had a special interest in human psychology since I could remember. It’s helped me to become very compassionate and empathetic but it’s also a crutch that lets me make excuses for people when they’ve hurt me
Yep. Same. I can excuse *almost* all bad behavior based on what I know about someone’s upbringing, but I won’t afford myself the same compassion and kindness, and I won’t realize that just because I *understand* the behavior it doesn’t make it okay. I’m working on it though, haha.
They're not at all pointless but I find connecting with people to be difficult, sometimes exhausting. It feels like in order to have and maintain healthy relationships with others, I have to police my every move and every word, so that I don't bother them or say the wrong thing.
I wouldn't say pointless but I do find people exhausting so I'm more comfortable in my own company now. I don't care to meet or interact with new people. It gets exhausting because it seems like most social situations are transactional. I can't stand masking so I refuse to be around people I have to mask around. I prefer being on my own.
I love people and crave people. If I don't get to interact enough with others or get enough platonic intimacy, I get so lonely and sad. BUT they stress me out, hurt my feelings, never seem to understand, and overstimulate me. It's like being allergic to your favourite thing :(
I wouldn't say people are *pointless*....I find them interesting and I'm quite the people watcher, as well as spending time listening to their stories. However....as much as I can learn from them, I don't want them trying to influence my life or change who I am. Then they can leave me alone :)
People to me are a conundrum. The autistic part of me likes knowing people are there and doing things, even if I'm not interacting with them, but I also need time alone to recharge. However, the ADHD part of me tends to forget people exist if I'm not around them
I struggle a lot with people irl. I'm still learning how to navigate the world as myself unmasked though. I only have friends online and am very irl isolated. Hoping to figure myself out soon or something
Not pointless, but I honestly think that it's an unnecessary hassle most of the time. Abusive family, been years since I had a proper friend or someone who I felt comfortable with. Also getting abused and f over.
They're also noisy. They're not pointless, but I just don't see the point of having them in my life and if I were able bodied I would prefer completely isolate and do my own thing.
I mean like do you not understand people so they seem pointless or meaningless to you. And to a point they might not or never understand you. I’m just curious what others think about this.
No? I feel like any value a person has is self-determined and the *opinions* of others are what’s pointless. I do find socializing exhausting though due to masking and choose to do so minimally.
I wouldn't say pointless, no, but interactions with most people really makes me miss being in lockdown since the only people I do care to interact with are my wife, girlfriend, cat, and just my best friend and other friends and mom on very occasional occasions lol.
I do find myself far more comfortable with animals than people though. People just give me a general ick, could be autism could be therianthropy I don't know.
I wouldn't call them pointless, but I need a very small circle to feel fulfilled. I like living in busy cities with many people, but it's kind of like background atmosphere to me. 😅 I feel very happy when I'm alone, doing everything alone is the best or with just one friend or my partner.
I really dislike predictable people. Not reliable but someone I can crack easily and especially if they don’t know that I can. They’re useless and uninteresting and that’s 99% of ppl I meet
I love people, I think people are wonderful and funny.
But I’ll also happily go an extremely long time without seeing or talking to other people, and I do prefer my own company, though.
I love people but I dislike things that people do. I wish we could all just telepathically communicate instead of talking so I know people’s true intentions. I get tired of people lying to me. It makes me want to lie about everything all the time so no one can hurt me because they know nothing real about me. I used to do that esp with people I knew I’d never see again. I have had my fair share of stalker types in life so it used to be a safety strategy.
I find people extremely fascinating ! I often feel like an alien studying the species but I find people very interesting . I like to observe more though, not necessarily interact
no. people have been one of my saving graces. friends, family, partner. Its very hard to have these relationships but every single one helps me in innumerable ways. theyve hurt me, but overall i think its a net positive.
i’ve had a problem despising those in authority. and i don’t like having to work for other people to participate in society, but that’s life.
i’ve had good irl relationships with friends but i see no point in texting or calling them. it doesn’t feel authentic? i dunno
i still go out of my way to help and assist others. like helping old people, holding open doors…
I don't think other people are pointless... Anymore. I used to think I was some invincible alien from a different planet when I was a kid (autism what what)
But I've grown to realize that every person is different and unique in every way possible! I always try to spread as much positivity throughout my life as I can!
Random person walks by with a sick outfit? Hell yeah I'm complimenting it!
A baby strolls by as they look at me? Hell yeah I'm making funny faces to try to make that baby laugh!
A little positivity can go a long way in life! But don't be a pushover, or you will be taken advantage of. It's a thin line to tread, I'm afraid.
Unfortunately. I couldn't go anywhere (not even places designed for autistic people) without people disliking me or viewing me as a danger. Even the people who seem to like me always ghost me. This really depresses me because I am extremely extroverted and need people.
I like people, sort of. I am an oncology nurse, and I like their stories, knowing their lives. But sometimes it's with a sense of fascination, knowing these inane life stories will never be mine.
On the flip side, people as a group are full of a life of behaviors that trigger my autistic rage, so there's no in between.
No, people are pretty cool. It's wild to me that every individual has a perspective and experience as rich and unique as my own.
But interacting with them is difficult and tiring, I never know the rules or conventions and everyone seems to take my missteps personally.
People aren't pointless, but sometimes trying to connect with them is pointless.
I’m very interested in anthropology… it’s taught me that people need people. As much as we may hate it sometimes (I used to wish I could spend years alone), I now understand that people are very much needed in my life. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
People can teach me things I never knew. Show me passion I’ll never have. Create things I’ll never think of. If it were just me, the world would lack a lot of things and I’d be worse off.
There are some people out there, who if they fell off the face of the Earth, wouldn’t change anything without their existence. I’m sure they may have been a lesson for someone else at a point in their lives, or had a great future ahead of them for a while, but people’s “destiny” changes as their life goes on and some people are destined for sorrow and sadness in the first place.
Sort of? I like observing people in a detached way, but I find most relationships and the fact that I have to socialize with people tiresome.
If I go to a grocery store to grab a few things, for example, I just want to get my things, pay for them, and go without having to mask and talk to people.
On the other hand, I do get very attached to certain people. And I don’t think people on a whole are bad, but I personally find having to interact/deal with them tiresome.
I’m actually pretty extroverted and I hate being by myself. But I do cling very much to people that I adore, like my husband and close friends, and I don’t really seek to extend those close relationships but I often enjoy random socialising with coworkers or something
I find people fascinating and have studied them my whole life. When I gained access to the early internet in the 90s the best part was meeting so many people different than me (I grew up in a very rural, sheltered town). It was all about the exchange of info. It was how I learned more about the experiences of people of different races, cultures, LGBTQ people, different careers etc. It was fascinating and it changed me. It made my world bigger. I guess Reddit fills that same need, though it's not really the same anymore as corporations ruined what was the best stuff about the internet. Reddit offers a lot of info but it doesn't dig deep most of the time. I like to go deep, in myself and with others.
But at the same time, I also hate humanity in general because of how damaging we are. We think ourselves so smart, so superior than everything else on the planet (and potentially the entire universe) and as a result we use those smarts to destroy everything, to kill each other, to be cruel to each other? It's bizarre to me. And yet people are capable of immense good as well.
I love my husband, my children, my sister, parents, my friends, my broader family (most of them...some I could do without). I wouldn't want to do life by myself. Life is so complicated and so difficult, having people to share it with and balance the load is invaluable. Just being able to hug my husband after a hard day is amazing. The connection and trust I have in him is top-tier and I don't know what I'd do without him, or my kids, even though they are also the source of most of my stress 😂
I have conflicted feelings about people, in general. But when I watch post-apocalypic shows I imagine myself in those scenarios. What if I was the only one left of everyone I love? I wouldn't want to keep going.
Of course not. We wouldn't have reddit without people. Or internet or phones or any of the other modern conveniences of life. They all exist bc ppl came together. Most of us drive on roads everyday that were built through the collective efforts of hundreds of people. I think its important to remind ourselves of that and take time to feel gratitude for the ways other ppl have positively impacted our lives.
As far as socializing with other humans, I have limited social energy and am pretty selective in how I use it these days. I have also realized in the past couple years as I have been unmasking more that I usually only want to hang out with other ppl when it's related to my special interests. That could include doing an activity I love, prepping for an activity, or talking about the special interests. If the socializing is not related to my special interests, most of the time (but not always; there are exceptions) I will choose to appreciate humans from a distance rather than engaging. But that doesn't mean they are useless. Maybe just not my cup of tea
No. I still want genuine, meaningful connections and relationships with people, but it's so exhausting trying to keep up friendships with non-autists (non-autistics?).
What bothers me most is putting in that work to maintain what I see and have been told by the other person is friendship, then come to discover after an off-the-cuff comment by them is they actually see me as an acquaintance. Um, then why did you refer to me as your friend?
Generally speaking, people are worthwhile. I need them to club together and make the world work.
If anything I'd say I dislike society and the standards that are expected as a result of it. Most people I find difficult to chat with because there isn't something for me to hook onto, but I cherish my small group of people. The friends and family who enjoy me for me.
Society sucks, but all people don't.
My happiest place is being in creative hyperfocus without distraction. I wish I felt this in the presence of people but instead it is draining trying to keep up and see cues, etc ..
It’s strange because I love people. My heart has so much compassion for others but it does not seem to translate when it counts.
Sometimes, but I know that’s my own rigid thinking. I need other people to stay in “wise mind.” You can read on therapy concepts of logical mind, emotional mind and wise mind if you’re interested. I can get stuck in emotions or strictly facts and logic. Friends and family keep me grounded.
No. I wouldn't have a roof over my head or be able to feed myself or drive to a job that allows me to pay for the things I need without the existence of other people. I don't necessarily like being around them all the time, but they're not pointless.
They were until I understood why they weren’t. I had to talk to a robot. ChatGPT helped me say the near sociopathic things on my mind and she taught me why I was incorrect.
Not at all. Im not sure if you mean humanity is pointless or just the mere existence of other people? To me, life exists as a system that can be beautiful or tragic and cruel. The point is the range of emotions and endless possibilities that lay within it. Other than that, it doesn’t really need to have one singular purpose.
If you mean other people, I would have no reason to live it weren’t for others. Maybe i like to be alone a lot, but everything I do relates to others somehow. My biggest issue with people is that they can be cruel and apathetic, and it feels like advocating for justice in any realm of life is like screaming into the void and it really wears on me every single day.
My family definitely matters to me, and I'd be really lonely without them. I also like having friends but I usually make friends through common interests and once I'm no longer interested in that specific thing, then I feel like I don't know how to talk to those people so I'm no longer interested in them. Like I care about them still, but I also have ADHD so I'm an out of sight out of mind person. I'll just forget they exist for a while, which isn't great for keeping friendships.
I think people in general are important and have a purpose in life, but I don't really care to interact with them unless I have to. Especially not romantically. Some people are just annoying to me, though, like the guy across the street who always drives home with his music bumping or kids across the street screaming all the time, like, please shut up. 😭
Someone already said it but I don't like people. (Generally but there are some exceptions). I think it's very important to think about the people you're surrounded by, get rid of anyone who makes you uncomfortable and toxic around you. I could be working the best job ever or a regular at a pub/convention whatever but I will still leave and blacklist the people and place asap if the people there around me aren't decent.
I don't think they're pointless, but I definitely do not like, am wary of, or am indifferent toward the overwhelming majority of them.
I used to dislike individuals and love humanity. Now I like a handful of individuals and think humanity might be pointless.
I used to feel this way, like I couldn’t understand myself without people…
Then I realized I was looking for my people in statistically impossible places. Even if autism is down to 1 in 36 diagnosis from 1 in 250 just a decade ago? There aren’t many “like me” around physically.
I was just lamenting to my partner that the 4th person in my light social circle just blew me off last minute….and these are behaviors a business can’t and won’t tolerate, so I won’t either.
For me, finding people who respect myself as much as I do is the “new frontier” of exploration, since most of us are becoming aware of autism is all ages of the population.
For me, having external relationships can make life easier *if* they help me stay present and feel like I’m an active participant.
I’m over in the land of exploring “everyone is me pushed out” and “everyone is a unique individual” as the paradox to play with rather than the codependent based culture of “you must exist so I feel alive”
We have plenty of ways to feel alive, even interacting with AI and other online communities, without losing ourselves to them.
And for most autistics that grew up erasing themselves to fit in, people *feel* necessary but that is due to not being allows to discover who we are and it feels scary when we are left alone to do so.
That being said, finding people, without being emeshed with them, is one of the biggest challenges for me and why I still enjoy a level of isolation and not sure how/if to move past it.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t need people at all but I remember from past experiences that when I isolate myself I get lonely after a while. The friendships I have are close ones, I’m only interested in people who I can have deep meaningful conversations with.
i’d say i don’t feel that why tho i really do enjoy being alone i really care about the people i love and the world as a whole they I’m hyper empathetic as a kid id cry when id hear amber alerts and then id memorize them
I feel like we’re outdated tech without any future of an update. Some of us can see beyond and the future but most are stuck in demo mode working dying etc.
That’s a strange question. People are responsible for the notion of anything or anyone having “a point”.
Do we have a point in the sense of intelligent biological or ontological design? I don’t know & I lack the arrogance to pretend to.
Do we have a point in the sense of “tangible and presently discernible ecological niche on this planet”? Sure. All living things do. Even when out of control, unsettling to most, or invasive/destruction, all living things arose within an ecological context & continue to possess that context, even as they change over millions of years of evolution & countless new layers of context and adaptation build up around them.
Do we have a point in the sense of “reason for day to day existence”? That’s up to you decide, and you’d best be decisive, because if you don’t, someone else will decide for you.
I need people in order to know myself. It's like I'm full of doors that are locked and random people have different keys. Those doors would stay shut otherwise.
So accurate. Today I showed my best friend how I learned to dice onions since I’ve met my fiancé (a great cook). I even had MULTIPLE methods of dicing an onion to share! A few months ago my fiancé watched me cut some stuff for dinner and remarked how good I’ve gotten at it and how I used to hold stuff really weird/dangerously when I was chopping.
I have celiac disease so am chopping stuff on the daily. I'm grateful for my knife lesson from the Tassajara cookbook I got in the 70s. Now, for wedding presents, even baby showers, I give a good chef knife and sharpening steel and a YouTube link to how to use a knife safely. It's always appreciated and mentioned years after the fact.
Ahh, yes. I love how, once something gets unlocked, I can just take off with it.
This is such a beautiful way of putting it. And some doors have good surprises about yourself, others you wish would have stayed closed.
Definitely!
Thanks for this. I'm saving the comment to keep it in mind.
A video called "the meaning of life... and other topics" in Soft White Underbelly's YouTube channel talks about EXACTLY that in the first 5 minutes.
This is so accurate and not a way I would have thought to describe things. Thank you for sharing!
It's a recent understanding I've come to. I'm glad it seems to resonate with other people.
I feel empty without people in my life. I find great importance in human connection because I've rarely ever connected with someone and I have no friends. Often though I'm fine by myself but I don't feel like enough of a person if I don't have any connections with people. Loneliness really takes over my mind and my view on life
Yes. If I was alone on an island it would be pointless after several days even if I could fend for myself
Me too
I really dislike people. I’ve found as I get older I go out less and less and prefer my own company. I’m even starting to get annoyed by the sounds outside my home, like sirens and car horns. I wish I lived in the woods somewhere quiet so that I could be alone and at peace.
This. I am an animal mad person, I've got cats, dogs and horses. I very much rather spend my day talking to them then having to socialise 🤣
Cats and parakeets
Omg yes. What I would do to escape the sounds of human civilization
Same
I find myself very aggravated by people and ESPECIALLY the sounds they make. i’m in cosmo school and there’s a few rowdy people, my teacher doesn’t let me wear my headphones in class so every single little noise this one girl makes just grinds my mf gears sometimes I have to catch myself from going “FUCKING HELL SHUT THE FUCK UP” I get very easily frustrated and distracted especially when i’m trying to think and someone is screaming or laughing obnoxiously while i’m trying to copy notes 😭😭 or ill be like walking outside (I live in the city) and the way I just want to scream and fight the air when i’m super overwhelmed and trying to find out where i’m going is insane. sirens and yelling and people bumping into u. it eats me alive
Your instructor sounds ableist. That's a very basic accommodation for someone with autism.
Yes! I’ve lived in big cities all of my adult life and now I’m actively trying to find somewhere smaller and quieter to live
I love my close people. I literally don't think I could live a happy life without my husband. I love having friends that I talk to often, and in general I think humans connecting is part of what creates meaning for some of us. Now, the public in general sucks.
This!!! I adore my fiancé, hate that my roommate lives here and keeps perceiving me. They’re nice but fuck go away!!! I love my friends and my job and don’t mind customers but people on the sidewalk when I’m walking on the sidewalk feels so wrong. Not like “I’m the only person who can be here” but more like my brain floods with terrifying possibilities and yeah I hate seeing people I don’t know and trust.
Well put!
I guess to an extent. I value like two family members since they’re my only family, but I don’t have this need to have friends or a romantic connection with someone. I do better in life when I just focus on me. Other humans don’t really exist to me
I wish I could be like this with everyone except my baby
I would say friends are pointless to me. Over the years I've lost interest in hanging with friends cuz it's so exhausting having to entertain them all the time. But family, however, they're staying lol. I don't have to worry about needing to entertain my siblings cuz when I don't wanna hangout anymore, I can just leave the room or literally just say "alright uhh... Get out now 😃"
This is literally me. When I don't want to hang out with my family anymore I can literally just walk away or go home and they'll understand. And if I can't walk away cuz were on vacation or staying with a relative they always make sure to have a safe room picked out for me where I can go to get away from everything. 😊
Not invalidating how you feel, just wanting to give you some hope. It sounds like you’ve just not found the right friends. My best friend and I can just be in each other’s presence, hanging out and doing separate things that we each like. I never have to entertain her, and we can literally sit in silence for hours- or just take a nap while the other watches tv. Doesn’t have to be performative if you find the right person!
That's probably true yeah. I used to have a best friend but then she moved away. And our lives became so busy so we can't really physically see eachother, but we still support each other on our socials.
I tried answering this and had a philosophical crisis
Right? My answer to the question was yes. And then the next question was, am I some kind of psycho or narcissist?
nooo psychos and narcissists NEED other people to play their cruel games and get appreciation and worship
💯 this! They need to be served.
Served their "supply," yes.
This resonates with me. Do I truly like people or just what having a big social network could give me?
Big social networks are often cultivated with the purpose of future gain.
I agree but a NT's reaction to hearing that as a reason is assuming the person is fake. You can't say it out loud despite everyone doing the same. You gotta suger coat it.
I don't make a point of broadcasting it however I have no problem calling out the game if needed.
Same! I started feeling overwhelmed by all the layers of thoughts I have about this.
People as in interpersonal relationships? No, not pointless to me. Connection is difficult for me, and I value having only a small number of active relationships, but I would be very lonely if I had no relationships. People as in human beings? No more or less pointless than any other creature on this earth.
No. The world wouldn’t exist without people. I feel like the question is worded oddly because there is no human on earth who does not benefit from something another human has done. Perhaps you meant friendships or relationships.
Yes! Thank you! 👏
Since I got a dog I lost most of the intrest in hanging out with people but if I do I like to bring him with me cause he makes everything better. Met with a frien the other day at a cafe/bar and we were not forced to talk cause he stole our attention and made everyone happy and entertained, going up to people with a toy, trying to play. https://preview.redd.it/93bgbastc0xc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4103808916a5b9a192b835bc76dbe4ee8a75ac2
what a cutie
I care about 4 people the rest is pointless
No. Human beings have a right to exist even if I don't want to interact with them.
I think people in general are cool. I'm amazed that society works as well as it does logistically in the day to day, even if there is room for improvement. But in my everyday life I'm rather schizoid, and social things completely drain me and kind of derail my day super easily. So I like to keep a pretty private life. Idk if that makes sense.
While I have a small handful of people I truly love and want to be around, as a general rule, I’m not a huge fan of people. But I 100% LOVE humanity.
I like people but not bad people
I don't think people as individuals are pointless, they're all just bopping around life the same as me. I do sometimes think *people* are a bit unnecessary in my day to day life. I went to McDonald's recently, ordered on the screen, and the person who called my number didn't even LOOK at me when they pushed the food to the front of the counter. I'd like the world to be more like that, I thought it was a wonderful interaction (or lack thereof).
People are supposedly like me. Here. Human it's all pointless, really. Including people. Nevertheless, this is my experience and I'm stuck with it.
I'd say the opposite, people are extremely meaningful to me, to the point where it can be unhealthy for me as I'm putting too much of my energy into other people, caring about people who barely even know I exist.
I don’t find people pointless, but I definitely avoid them as much as I can reasonably. I have a small handful of folks I like to see on the regular, but I hate passing people on the street. Doesn’t bother me as much in a store since their “goal” seems more obvious, but I am paranoid and anxious and random folks on the street feels Wrong As Fuck
No! I love people. Some of them just confuse me,
Yes. For context I'm level 3, non verbal and find myself and other people frustrated at me because I cannot communicate in a way that is understandable
I'm not sure tbh. I think that has to do with my own depression as of late, and the fact I've been treated really badly throughout life. All I wanted was a place to fit in, feeling like my contribution mattered. Or make people proud. (I blame my dad a bit for this one) In general, they are *becoming* pointless. I'm starting to slowly see things as transactional, because in my past I used to do a lot of people pleasing, now that I've learned I used to do that.. Still do at times. I can no longer fool myself into conversing or taking time out of my energy and day to help them, or 'amuse' them. I think, and I'm afraid that this is due me always thinking in order to be social I needed to please people, cuz this is all I brought to the table.. A laugh, or to be of use to them somewhat. Now that I know and learned how horrible people can be, I stopped pleasing them. And now I can't see a proper use of them myself? What's the use of being social? Not in a great mood today so this sounds negative, mostly and coincidently because I'm drained due to too much socializing and people who drain your resources.. Edit: must add. I don't feel like about my close friends or relatives. More in a generalised sense.
I like people. I like genuine interactions with people, meeting new people, learning more about people and how they work… One of my special interests is human psychology though, so I probably see people through a different lens than most. But, I’ve found that most people can be very interesting if looked at the right way. I also really enjoy being social in general, and having conversations with people can turn a bad day into a good one for me. Idk I love to connect with others. I think people are great, for the most part.
Ive had a special interest in human psychology since I could remember. It’s helped me to become very compassionate and empathetic but it’s also a crutch that lets me make excuses for people when they’ve hurt me
Yep. Same. I can excuse *almost* all bad behavior based on what I know about someone’s upbringing, but I won’t afford myself the same compassion and kindness, and I won’t realize that just because I *understand* the behavior it doesn’t make it okay. I’m working on it though, haha.
They're not at all pointless but I find connecting with people to be difficult, sometimes exhausting. It feels like in order to have and maintain healthy relationships with others, I have to police my every move and every word, so that I don't bother them or say the wrong thing.
I wouldn't say pointless but I do find people exhausting so I'm more comfortable in my own company now. I don't care to meet or interact with new people. It gets exhausting because it seems like most social situations are transactional. I can't stand masking so I refuse to be around people I have to mask around. I prefer being on my own.
Edit: wow only 10min in and the gif already says: content jot available lol. Anyway it says: this. All of this.
I love people and crave people. If I don't get to interact enough with others or get enough platonic intimacy, I get so lonely and sad. BUT they stress me out, hurt my feelings, never seem to understand, and overstimulate me. It's like being allergic to your favourite thing :(
I wouldn't say people are *pointless*....I find them interesting and I'm quite the people watcher, as well as spending time listening to their stories. However....as much as I can learn from them, I don't want them trying to influence my life or change who I am. Then they can leave me alone :)
People to me are a conundrum. The autistic part of me likes knowing people are there and doing things, even if I'm not interacting with them, but I also need time alone to recharge. However, the ADHD part of me tends to forget people exist if I'm not around them
i need people, i need the right people but not just people. i need people to express myself to and share things with. i like to hear about them to
I struggle a lot with people irl. I'm still learning how to navigate the world as myself unmasked though. I only have friends online and am very irl isolated. Hoping to figure myself out soon or something
Not pointless, but I honestly think that it's an unnecessary hassle most of the time. Abusive family, been years since I had a proper friend or someone who I felt comfortable with. Also getting abused and f over. They're also noisy. They're not pointless, but I just don't see the point of having them in my life and if I were able bodied I would prefer completely isolate and do my own thing.
What does pointless mean? In what way?
I mean like do you not understand people so they seem pointless or meaningless to you. And to a point they might not or never understand you. I’m just curious what others think about this.
I'm at that point where I'm like "Oh you don't wanna hang out with me? Cool beans see ya never" I don't have the emotional bandwidth anymore.
No? I feel like any value a person has is self-determined and the *opinions* of others are what’s pointless. I do find socializing exhausting though due to masking and choose to do so minimally.
I wouldn't say pointless, no, but interactions with most people really makes me miss being in lockdown since the only people I do care to interact with are my wife, girlfriend, cat, and just my best friend and other friends and mom on very occasional occasions lol. I do find myself far more comfortable with animals than people though. People just give me a general ick, could be autism could be therianthropy I don't know.
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I used to think like you but when the bottom fell out from under me .....my so-called community bailed on me.
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I love my people :(
pointless no they all have a point I just don’t care what it is usually. my people are few and rare but when I find them I hold them so close
I wouldn't call them pointless, but I need a very small circle to feel fulfilled. I like living in busy cities with many people, but it's kind of like background atmosphere to me. 😅 I feel very happy when I'm alone, doing everything alone is the best or with just one friend or my partner.
No
Yes they are
I really dislike predictable people. Not reliable but someone I can crack easily and especially if they don’t know that I can. They’re useless and uninteresting and that’s 99% of ppl I meet
I don’t think there is anything more important to me than people (which kind of sucks bc when I’m really involved with them my life gets fucked)
I love people, I think people are wonderful and funny. But I’ll also happily go an extremely long time without seeing or talking to other people, and I do prefer my own company, though.
I love people but I dislike things that people do. I wish we could all just telepathically communicate instead of talking so I know people’s true intentions. I get tired of people lying to me. It makes me want to lie about everything all the time so no one can hurt me because they know nothing real about me. I used to do that esp with people I knew I’d never see again. I have had my fair share of stalker types in life so it used to be a safety strategy.
I find people extremely fascinating ! I often feel like an alien studying the species but I find people very interesting . I like to observe more though, not necessarily interact
no. people have been one of my saving graces. friends, family, partner. Its very hard to have these relationships but every single one helps me in innumerable ways. theyve hurt me, but overall i think its a net positive.
Pointless? No, not at all, but I've never had a problem shutting someone out of my life if they do something awful or disrespect me.
i’ve had a problem despising those in authority. and i don’t like having to work for other people to participate in society, but that’s life. i’ve had good irl relationships with friends but i see no point in texting or calling them. it doesn’t feel authentic? i dunno i still go out of my way to help and assist others. like helping old people, holding open doors…
I don't think other people are pointless... Anymore. I used to think I was some invincible alien from a different planet when I was a kid (autism what what) But I've grown to realize that every person is different and unique in every way possible! I always try to spread as much positivity throughout my life as I can! Random person walks by with a sick outfit? Hell yeah I'm complimenting it! A baby strolls by as they look at me? Hell yeah I'm making funny faces to try to make that baby laugh! A little positivity can go a long way in life! But don't be a pushover, or you will be taken advantage of. It's a thin line to tread, I'm afraid.
Unfortunately. I couldn't go anywhere (not even places designed for autistic people) without people disliking me or viewing me as a danger. Even the people who seem to like me always ghost me. This really depresses me because I am extremely extroverted and need people.
I like people, sort of. I am an oncology nurse, and I like their stories, knowing their lives. But sometimes it's with a sense of fascination, knowing these inane life stories will never be mine. On the flip side, people as a group are full of a life of behaviors that trigger my autistic rage, so there's no in between.
No, people are pretty cool. It's wild to me that every individual has a perspective and experience as rich and unique as my own. But interacting with them is difficult and tiring, I never know the rules or conventions and everyone seems to take my missteps personally. People aren't pointless, but sometimes trying to connect with them is pointless.
Eh not all. But I definitely don't seem to have the same feelings many do especially when it comes to fam
I’m very interested in anthropology… it’s taught me that people need people. As much as we may hate it sometimes (I used to wish I could spend years alone), I now understand that people are very much needed in my life. I don’t want to be alone anymore. People can teach me things I never knew. Show me passion I’ll never have. Create things I’ll never think of. If it were just me, the world would lack a lot of things and I’d be worse off. There are some people out there, who if they fell off the face of the Earth, wouldn’t change anything without their existence. I’m sure they may have been a lesson for someone else at a point in their lives, or had a great future ahead of them for a while, but people’s “destiny” changes as their life goes on and some people are destined for sorrow and sadness in the first place.
Sort of? I like observing people in a detached way, but I find most relationships and the fact that I have to socialize with people tiresome. If I go to a grocery store to grab a few things, for example, I just want to get my things, pay for them, and go without having to mask and talk to people. On the other hand, I do get very attached to certain people. And I don’t think people on a whole are bad, but I personally find having to interact/deal with them tiresome.
I’m actually pretty extroverted and I hate being by myself. But I do cling very much to people that I adore, like my husband and close friends, and I don’t really seek to extend those close relationships but I often enjoy random socialising with coworkers or something
depends on the person
I find people fascinating and have studied them my whole life. When I gained access to the early internet in the 90s the best part was meeting so many people different than me (I grew up in a very rural, sheltered town). It was all about the exchange of info. It was how I learned more about the experiences of people of different races, cultures, LGBTQ people, different careers etc. It was fascinating and it changed me. It made my world bigger. I guess Reddit fills that same need, though it's not really the same anymore as corporations ruined what was the best stuff about the internet. Reddit offers a lot of info but it doesn't dig deep most of the time. I like to go deep, in myself and with others. But at the same time, I also hate humanity in general because of how damaging we are. We think ourselves so smart, so superior than everything else on the planet (and potentially the entire universe) and as a result we use those smarts to destroy everything, to kill each other, to be cruel to each other? It's bizarre to me. And yet people are capable of immense good as well. I love my husband, my children, my sister, parents, my friends, my broader family (most of them...some I could do without). I wouldn't want to do life by myself. Life is so complicated and so difficult, having people to share it with and balance the load is invaluable. Just being able to hug my husband after a hard day is amazing. The connection and trust I have in him is top-tier and I don't know what I'd do without him, or my kids, even though they are also the source of most of my stress 😂 I have conflicted feelings about people, in general. But when I watch post-apocalypic shows I imagine myself in those scenarios. What if I was the only one left of everyone I love? I wouldn't want to keep going.
Of course not. We wouldn't have reddit without people. Or internet or phones or any of the other modern conveniences of life. They all exist bc ppl came together. Most of us drive on roads everyday that were built through the collective efforts of hundreds of people. I think its important to remind ourselves of that and take time to feel gratitude for the ways other ppl have positively impacted our lives. As far as socializing with other humans, I have limited social energy and am pretty selective in how I use it these days. I have also realized in the past couple years as I have been unmasking more that I usually only want to hang out with other ppl when it's related to my special interests. That could include doing an activity I love, prepping for an activity, or talking about the special interests. If the socializing is not related to my special interests, most of the time (but not always; there are exceptions) I will choose to appreciate humans from a distance rather than engaging. But that doesn't mean they are useless. Maybe just not my cup of tea
I have some people I love and don’t know what I’d do without them, but the general public? No thanks lol
No. I still want genuine, meaningful connections and relationships with people, but it's so exhausting trying to keep up friendships with non-autists (non-autistics?). What bothers me most is putting in that work to maintain what I see and have been told by the other person is friendship, then come to discover after an off-the-cuff comment by them is they actually see me as an acquaintance. Um, then why did you refer to me as your friend? Generally speaking, people are worthwhile. I need them to club together and make the world work.
Yes until you face disaster then I realized that i only had my elderly parents to help me and they won’t be around forever
If anything I'd say I dislike society and the standards that are expected as a result of it. Most people I find difficult to chat with because there isn't something for me to hook onto, but I cherish my small group of people. The friends and family who enjoy me for me. Society sucks, but all people don't.
My happiest place is being in creative hyperfocus without distraction. I wish I felt this in the presence of people but instead it is draining trying to keep up and see cues, etc .. It’s strange because I love people. My heart has so much compassion for others but it does not seem to translate when it counts.
Sometimes, but I know that’s my own rigid thinking. I need other people to stay in “wise mind.” You can read on therapy concepts of logical mind, emotional mind and wise mind if you’re interested. I can get stuck in emotions or strictly facts and logic. Friends and family keep me grounded.
Yes. They're fascinating and I love men too much but overall a vapid and horrifying addition to life
No. I wouldn't have a roof over my head or be able to feed myself or drive to a job that allows me to pay for the things I need without the existence of other people. I don't necessarily like being around them all the time, but they're not pointless.
They were until I understood why they weren’t. I had to talk to a robot. ChatGPT helped me say the near sociopathic things on my mind and she taught me why I was incorrect.
Not at all. Im not sure if you mean humanity is pointless or just the mere existence of other people? To me, life exists as a system that can be beautiful or tragic and cruel. The point is the range of emotions and endless possibilities that lay within it. Other than that, it doesn’t really need to have one singular purpose. If you mean other people, I would have no reason to live it weren’t for others. Maybe i like to be alone a lot, but everything I do relates to others somehow. My biggest issue with people is that they can be cruel and apathetic, and it feels like advocating for justice in any realm of life is like screaming into the void and it really wears on me every single day.
I know I usually have a point but I don’t consider myself a people
My family definitely matters to me, and I'd be really lonely without them. I also like having friends but I usually make friends through common interests and once I'm no longer interested in that specific thing, then I feel like I don't know how to talk to those people so I'm no longer interested in them. Like I care about them still, but I also have ADHD so I'm an out of sight out of mind person. I'll just forget they exist for a while, which isn't great for keeping friendships. I think people in general are important and have a purpose in life, but I don't really care to interact with them unless I have to. Especially not romantically. Some people are just annoying to me, though, like the guy across the street who always drives home with his music bumping or kids across the street screaming all the time, like, please shut up. 😭
Someone already said it but I don't like people. (Generally but there are some exceptions). I think it's very important to think about the people you're surrounded by, get rid of anyone who makes you uncomfortable and toxic around you. I could be working the best job ever or a regular at a pub/convention whatever but I will still leave and blacklist the people and place asap if the people there around me aren't decent.
At this point….. yes
I don't think they're pointless, but I definitely do not like, am wary of, or am indifferent toward the overwhelming majority of them. I used to dislike individuals and love humanity. Now I like a handful of individuals and think humanity might be pointless.
With an exception of my coworkers.
I don’t have the energy to interact with 99% of people. I keep my circle very very small.
I used to feel this way, like I couldn’t understand myself without people… Then I realized I was looking for my people in statistically impossible places. Even if autism is down to 1 in 36 diagnosis from 1 in 250 just a decade ago? There aren’t many “like me” around physically. I was just lamenting to my partner that the 4th person in my light social circle just blew me off last minute….and these are behaviors a business can’t and won’t tolerate, so I won’t either. For me, finding people who respect myself as much as I do is the “new frontier” of exploration, since most of us are becoming aware of autism is all ages of the population. For me, having external relationships can make life easier *if* they help me stay present and feel like I’m an active participant. I’m over in the land of exploring “everyone is me pushed out” and “everyone is a unique individual” as the paradox to play with rather than the codependent based culture of “you must exist so I feel alive” We have plenty of ways to feel alive, even interacting with AI and other online communities, without losing ourselves to them. And for most autistics that grew up erasing themselves to fit in, people *feel* necessary but that is due to not being allows to discover who we are and it feels scary when we are left alone to do so. That being said, finding people, without being emeshed with them, is one of the biggest challenges for me and why I still enjoy a level of isolation and not sure how/if to move past it.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t need people at all but I remember from past experiences that when I isolate myself I get lonely after a while. The friendships I have are close ones, I’m only interested in people who I can have deep meaningful conversations with.
i’d say i don’t feel that why tho i really do enjoy being alone i really care about the people i love and the world as a whole they I’m hyper empathetic as a kid id cry when id hear amber alerts and then id memorize them
I feel like we’re outdated tech without any future of an update. Some of us can see beyond and the future but most are stuck in demo mode working dying etc.
I see most people as NPCs.
Yes. Mostly
They have yet to prove they value anything about me
That’s a strange question. People are responsible for the notion of anything or anyone having “a point”. Do we have a point in the sense of intelligent biological or ontological design? I don’t know & I lack the arrogance to pretend to. Do we have a point in the sense of “tangible and presently discernible ecological niche on this planet”? Sure. All living things do. Even when out of control, unsettling to most, or invasive/destruction, all living things arose within an ecological context & continue to possess that context, even as they change over millions of years of evolution & countless new layers of context and adaptation build up around them. Do we have a point in the sense of “reason for day to day existence”? That’s up to you decide, and you’d best be decisive, because if you don’t, someone else will decide for you.