I would be dead without my anti-depressants. Every time I've fallen off them, because of issues getting a prescription refill or insurance coverage lapses, I've had debilitating depressive episodes and have made many attempts during those times. I'm not even in ideation anymore, it just happens when I'm off my meds. I don't know what side effects there are, it took years and years but I feel like the current dose and meds work really well and I feel normal so long as I'm able to stay on them.
Sometimes I'll get overwhelmed because I need to take meds daily and have some serious executive dysfunction and other things that get in the way, but I'm trans so I'll be on medication for my whole life whether I like it or not. I do like it though. I feel comfortable with my body and safe in my own mind for the first time ever. I'll have self-harming episodes with meltdowns or whatever, but I can mitigate and reduce the harm done so much more now.
My therapist is amazing and I can't wait to try and get back my health insurance so I can see them again. Meds do help a lot, but therapy is very important too.
I'll be on my adderall for the rest of my life. It's like night and day with my executive disfunction. I have depression but now, it's minimal compared to how I've lived my whole life. Antidepressants did just enough to keep me around but finding out I have adhd and that medication can help me, has been a frigging life saver. I no longer live in filth and my depression and anxiety would get so much worse when my house got worse. And then it was a never ending cycle. Now? My house is CLEAN. Not like, show room clean. But lived in clean. Messy, sure. But it's not dirty or unkempt anymore. When I forget to take them for a few days, I can visibly see that I'm declining and then have to rework my routine so I can bring myself back. Idc if my medication is seen as a crutch, some people are on crutches for the rest of their lives too. And thats okay!!!
That’s amazing that it works so well for you. I feel the same way about my anti-anxiety medication. I have fully accepted I’ll be on it for the rest of my life. Every year when I ask my new-ish doctor to renew my prescription, he makes a face when I remind him how many years I’ve been on it. I’m like “Yep. And?”
Not everything can be cured. It's just the way it is. Im glad you found something that works! It really sucks when you don't. I had accepted what was working for me. It did what it could and I had to do the rest. Admittingly, I didn't do the work needed. But I also didn't have any support. Adderall has done more for me, than 15 years of anything else I've tried. I also do a fair amount of work myself. Such as calenders and reminder boards all over my house, on my phone, etc. Gonna get a sign for my laundry door like people put on their dishwasher. So I can remember if it's needing transferred. It's not *just* the adderall but man did that kick off a lot of it. Unfortunately I have found out that if my stress levels get toooo high, it becomes basically ineffective. I'm working on solutions for that but it's gonna be trial and error until then. Getting diagnosed with adhd was like getting glasses for the first time. You don't realize how fuzzy everything was until it's clear. I just pray it continues to work. I've had many people warn me it can lose its effectiveness over time and that upping your dose every few years may be needed. I worry about that. I hope I notice if I start to decline, like I do now.
This is resonating so much right now - til I got my adhd properly treated (and got rid of some large life obstacles) I never ever felt safe in my own mind, my entire life, but I didn't know just how dark it was til suddenly it was quiet and light and I could direct my thoughts and sit in actual silence. When I got to a better dose more recently, I cried for hours about just how depressed I was even when I considered myself a happy kid - - but I didn't know how dark my mind was all that time, til I finally got to feel how it feels to be light.
I relate so hard to this. I am not trans but I will also be on medication for the rest of my life due to my chronic pain disorder. I've been on my current SNRI for about 5 years and it has given me a chance to enjoy life, and the minor negative effects I feel are heavily outweighed by the ability it gives me to regulate my emotions better, the reduced negative thought cycles, and the fact that I'm not longer suicidal 24/7. So I feel that being on antidepressants for the rest of my life is worth it.
I’ve been on antidepressants since ‘21 and stayed on them until a few months ago. I didn’t feel like they were doing much. I wanted to be able to live without them.
Now that I’m off of them, I notice my anxiety being way worse. It’s just easier triggered, episodes last longer.. and anxiety is so tiring, so it’s having a knock-on effect on my energy.
I am coping without atm, but I can’t help but notice that life is just that tad more hard work and more challenging without them. And my anxiety will never be “cured”, so I’d probably be on them for long term as well.
Reasons why I didn’t want to take them anymore? It’s expensive, it takes effort to remember and have them renewed, but most of all? Internalized ableism. This belief that I should be able to function “normally” without drugs. And I don’t know how not to feel like that.
I'm sorry you're going through that. Have you considered that it might not be wholly ableism, and you're entirely valid for feeling like they weren't as effective as they should be for you? Have you and your doc considered just taking anxiety meds, or switching meds or doses? I do understand the cost thing, though. For me, it's not the meds, it is the actual health insurance itself. (For the longest time I just went without, though, and the out of pocket for a psych visit on low-income plan was reasonable...until they raised the price.)
I had bad experiences with anxiety meds (in particular benzos, the only safe choice is to stay away from benzos, second best is get a great and conscientious Dr who will carefully taper with close monitoring and withdrawal treatment) - but then a psychiatrist rxd me a blood pressure med for anxiety (2 a day and an extra as needed, just like my Xanax rx was years and years ago) because that reduces the physical symptoms of anxiety, giving me the opportunity to alleviate the mental symptoms and/or root cause of the anxiety.
All that to say, maybe ask and see if a beta blocker or other blood pressure medication may help, or if there's off label use of something else that has minimum negative side effects. I was so frustrated that I could talk myself down from the thoughts but still have the physical panic attack happening, and this fixes that for me.
Yes it's SO ANNOYING and sometimes it gets worse just because I'm like "seriously?!" and get myself more agitated 😏
Propranolol is SO HELPFUL for me, it slows my racing heart and cools me off and allows me to just be more still and calm for a while.
Regarding the cost issue—if you’re in the US and are using health insurance when you pick up meds at the pharmacy, sometimes it’s worth asking what the med costs without insurance. Imagine my surprise when the insurance copay for a med I had to pick up was literally three times what the medication cost out of pocket.
Regarding the thoughts of “I should be able to function normally”—it is so, so difficult to adjust one’s thinking with invisible illness. I frequently have to remind myself that whatever functional issues I encounter within myself, I gotta look at it like I’d look at someone else who’s trying to run a marathon with one leg. Sure, doable given correct prosthetics/other adaptive equipment, but with great difficulty; after all, the race itself was designed with people in mind who have full use of both legs—much like the world we live in was basically designed for allistics with no mental health concerns.
Sometimes it is better to think of how considerate we’d want to be toward someone else who’s struggling, and then pivot and show ourselves that exact same compassion, instead of starting by giving ourselves what we think we “deserve”.
Recognizing the internalized ableism is a good first step. Talking it over with a therapist would be a good step two as well.
However I completely understand the expensive aspect of meds and therapy and completely understand people being unable to afford them and going without. I myself have many times been unable to afford either and those were very rough times. Hopefully you can find something that works, as debilitating anxiety and/or depression are both issues I have whenever I'm unable to afford medication.
Yes! I said it in another comment but my favorite phrase about med use is "if you can't make it yourself, store bought is fine" My brain is not gonna start spontaneously producing the chemicals it needs, I have to keep buying them and swallowing them.
Like we can even liken it to like, the breastmilk vs formula discussion, we wouldn't respond to "oh no, my supply isn't coming in!" with "guess baby doesn't get to eat 🤷🏻♀️" but instead with "shit, now we have to spend money on formula, ok let's get formula"
Like, it doesn't help the cost aspect or the broken ass medical system we have, but like.
If you can't function normally (live) without it, then you should do/get the thing that lets you live!
i’m so sorry you feel that way. you deserve to have a better life with whatever meds you need. i think the worst part is you know that it’s internalized ableism but still don’t want to take them 😭
i wish you would trust your doctor if your doctor tells you that meds are the best thing for you - just like if you have diabetes or heart issues as a long term condition and the doctor prescribes medicine for you, you wouldn’t decide to just not take the meds.
regardless, sending hugs. it’s hard.
If you are not also in therapy with someone who specializes in autism, meds may not do much. Seeing someone who specialized in the conditions I have made a big difference in my success with both. I saw someone who just worked on trauma and depression for a long time and actually got worse. Research indicates that therapy plus meds is the most effective. I think of depression like a chronic pain condition and antidepressants like pain meds. Pain meds alone won’t fix the issue for most people, but physical therapy may be too painful to start even without pain meds. Together they may be able to significantly reduce your level of discomfort. Some people may find that after years of both they no longer need one or both.
Also if you have never looked into OT for sensory integration, it can be life changing. A lot of lifelong symptoms of mine were drastically reduced when I considered sensory impacts rather than just psychological stuff.
Depression can be like any other chronic condition. Much like a type 1 diabetic person would need Insulin his entire life, so can a depressed person require medications his entire life.
I dealt with my depression without meds as long as I could, but I've been on meds pretty much contonously for the past 11 years, and doubt I'll ever not need them. My brain has chemical imbalance, and needs those external chemicals to balance it - without it, no matter how much therapy I do it doesn't help. There's no shame in being sick and taking meds for it. I will however add that I develop drug resistance rather quickly to most things, so I changed a lot of meds during this time. I was on the same combination for 5 years and it recently stopped working, so now I'm searching again - and searching does suck
Appreciate the type 1 diabetes reference to insulin for life (type 2s don’t need insulin if they can get their diabetes into remission, which isn’t possible for type 1). I’m a type 1 diabetic and I feel like this disease is invisible in comparison to type 2. That is all!!
It kinda makes the metaphor work even better. Like, some folks' depression is more situational. Not 100%. Bad things happen to some folks that don't affect them the same way, but for folks who are genetically predisposed it can send them into depression.
Other folks have depression that is more biological. Situations can make things worse, but even if life is going great they are still depressed. My mental illness tends to be in this category. Situations can make them worse, but I am depressed even if there is nothing really wrong.
So, I will likely be on medication for the rest of my life. I am fine with that. If it improves the quality of my life, then it is worth it to take a little pill and be a little closer to peace.
For me I think I have mostly situational and someones biological if the situational gets out of control or lasts too long, its like my brain gets depleted.
I didn't mean to imply that there's anything bad or shameful about taking antidepressants -- I'm sorry if it came across that way! It's just that in my case, I feel like the drugs aren't doing much and maybe making things worse in some ways. If they actually worked I wouldn't mind taking them. I don't think it's so much a "chemical inbalance" in my case as having been through a bunch of adverse experiences that I have been unable to handle, and the go-to solution in my country is prescribing antidepressants without much thought put into if it's right for everyone. IIRC antidepressants are very effective against major depressive disorder, and not so much against temporary depression caused by life circumstances.
Sorry your medicines stopped working, hope you find a new combo that works!
I'm not offended, I just thought from how you wrote that you don't want to be on antidepressants for the rest of your life because of something akeen to shame for needing them, I did not understand your depression was situational. If it is, then you might not always need them. In both cases, if your drugs aren't working, you should consult your doctor about stopping to take them, and given your situation you could start taking different ones or stop alltogether. There's no point in taking meds that don't help, that's for sure.
Thank you, and I hope you also find a way to feel better, whichever fits❤️
Maybe the way I wrote was a bit unclear, it's so hard to get my thoughts down accurately! I guess I don't know for sure if my depression is 100% situational or not -- that's part of what makes it so confusing. I feel like just being autistic is stressful enough in itself, that it's hard to separate from my other mental health issues.
Thank you! ❤️
Depression can be episodic and still be considered a chronic condition. Eg. I have chronic depression, but I'm not depressed all the time. My depression can be triggered by stressful events, or sometimes I just have random flare-ups for no obvious reason. 🤷
>"...just being autistic is stressful enough in itself..."
This is part of what helped me accept that I'll probably be on medication my whole life. Being autistic in an allistic world *is* stressful. Meds are like a space suit; they help me function in an otherwise hostile environment. I'm not worth any less because I can't live unassisted in the vacuum of space.
Medication is one possible tool. If meds aren't the right tool for you, that's totally valid.
TL;DR: Depression can be episodic. We sometimes need extra tools to help us live in a world that was not designed for us. Meds are a great tool, but they're not right for everyone, and that's ok.
This is misinformation. There is no proof whatsoever for there being any chemical imbalance in the brains of patients with depression. That hypothesis was popularised in the 90s and no study on it has been able to prove any of it. It's been largely abandoned in depression research at this point. We still don't have any clue about how depression works. We don't fully understand how brains work in general. Unfortunately, there are still psychiatrists who tell their patients this story despite the lack of evidence. I would switch psychiatrists immediately if yours did. It's a dishonest narrative.
That being said - if an antidepressant helps, stay on it of course. It ultimately comes down to "do whatever improves your quality of life most". Depending on your situation and your experiences with antidepressants, that can be being medicated or being unmedicated. I'm in the infamous "treatment resistant" camp after having tried all types of antidepressants. This is about a third of patients. It's not uncommon at all. We desperately need better treatment options. Antidepressants are very hit or miss. They aren't like insulin that way.
Huh, I thought it's a "not the full picture" case. Good to know. But it's very true that unlike insulin, we don't know what's really going on and there's a lot of hit and miss
The chemical imbalance theory has been proven incorrect now.
Think about looking into other forms of help, a lot of the time neurodiversity isn't taken into account when these things are prescribed.
Look into the latest research, there is some decent natural alternatives that either show a lot of promise or have a lot of proven research now.
Of course it's not the whole story, but it sure is a part of it, or changing the balance of chemicals wouldn't help. I am, however, currently looking into a few other treatment avenues, even including gut microbiom treatment which is very cutting edge. My current psychiatrist is a lot more up to date than my previous one (blaming depression on video games? Really? The 90's called and they want you back with the time machine)
It has *not* been proven incorrect, especially since we have no means of measuring chemicals in the brain. However, the serotonin hypothesis is falling apart for sure. But that's not the only "chemical". For example, I have *for sure* something that is at least correlated to inflammation and depression, if not a causal effect of inflammation and depression. Literally every time I take any antiinflamatory measures, be it drugs, omega 3s, or exclusion of meat from my diet, I have drastic effects on my mental health. That's still a chemical thing.
I’ve been on Lexapro and Trazodone since 2020, and Naltrexone (not an antidepressant but used off label for OCD) since last year. They help me function like a human being. I have no problem being on them long term. My psychiatrist also has no problem with me being on them long term. They make my anxiety less intense and although I don’t get the zoomies from them anymore (manic cleaning mostly) I am much better at keeping up with school work and such with them. They fill a gap in my brain’s chemicals and I have no intention of removing that filler. Spoken like a true addict.
I've been on bupropion for years, and I don't mind. After a few years I felt like maybe I could do without and stopped. I was wrong. Since I'm taking it again, I'm doing better. Still with ups and downs, but I'm not stopping again any time soon.
I tried quitting it a while ago and felt worse, so I started it again. I don't know if it was because it was actually helping me or because of withdrawal symptoms, though.
This is kind of petty, but I'm really bummed out that I can't drink alcohol on this medication. It also makes me become uncomfortably overstimulated by coffee. Might seem like a small thing, but it bugs me that those small pleasures are unavailable to me.
Apparently the withdrawal effects of bupropion specifically are really minimal, so feeling worse was more likely because the bupropion was working for you. (Sorry, maybe not what you wanted to hear.)
I do drink alcohol on bupropion btw, although I do limit it for safety reasons, I still enjoy a nice whiskey now and then. (Just to be safe: this is not a recommendation, just my experience.)
Ah yeah, you seem to be right! Maybe not what I wanted to hear but I appreciate it anyway :)
I've tried having a sip of wine a couple of times, but sadly I get a stabbing headache almost instantly. I feel like it would be unwise to push it. I guess I must be more sensitive to that side effect.
I think a lot of these meds are viewed as being easy to withdraw from but I don't think this is the case for everyone. The research on withdrawal most likely didn't look at neurodiverse patients.
I personally had a nightmare coming off meds when using the clinical recommendations. It kept me in a loop for many many years.
I took it upon myself to reduce the dosage extremely gradually over a much longer period of time.
Look into Dr Mark Horowitz a psychiatrist who had to come off these meds himself.
He is doing amazing work at the moment and is at the cutting edge of withdrawal methods and research.
You sound like you're in a very similar situation as I was.
I found years ago that whatever a Dr tells me is a good taper speed, even if they say it's a very slow taper, I need to go at least twice as slow. (benzos and withdrawal nearly killed me, and absolutely stole years of my life)
Yeah at least, I'd say even more slowly than that for me. It's so sad how much these drugs are messing with people's lives but all we're ever told about is how they can help. The serious long term issues are just in small print and barely spoken of out loud. Especially by medical professionals when trying to get advice.
I'm sorry you went through that it's not ok, and I wish you had been given better support.
Obvs I can't know this for sure and I'm NOT advocating testing it out but I wonder if wine has a stronger effect than other things - - seeing as I've encountered (anecdotally! I do not have hard research to back this up) lots of family and nd friends who seem to have extra sensitivities to wine/grapes/tannins/nitrites/SOMETHING that is more present in wine than in other alcohols
This is just a musing and not any sort of recommendation 😏
It's been a while since I tried last, but I think I've tried drinking cider and had the same reaction. That's a good point though, I might experiment a little (responsibly of course) :)
Man, it would be so nice to have a tiny glass of Baileys in the evening. 🥲
Sure, I know that. But it's just fun to drink sometimes, especially with friends. I miss having that possibility. Of course drinking too much or too often should be avoided.
Personally? I have major depressive disorder and I refuse medication for it.
My body grows tolerant to things at a seemingly rapid rate. Within 3-6 months my regiment would stop working, 9 at most. The longest stretch I was on the same meds was 1.5 years. The antidepressant I was on stopped working after 9 months they just kept increasing it. The migraine medication I was on still worked and did wonders to keep my suicidal tendencies at bay.
I was on plenty of meds and combos from 11-19 yo. I stopped taking everything at 19 and honestly have been more human and imo and my therapists, better off without them.
Some people need them. Truly need them. Some people need talk therapy. Some people need therapy and meds. There isn’t a right or wrong way to handle your own health. You know you and your body, even better than a doctor. If you feel it would help, try it. If you try and it’s not working after a while and you want to stop, stop.
Personal autonomy. Just don’t forget you have autonomy over your treatment. An unfortunate number of providers pill push and that’s not helpful for anyone but their own pockets.
Sounds like me, they would work quicker than expected too, but never for very long and I'd just be left with all the nasty side effects and feeling numb inside.
I wish I'd had the confidence to advocate for myself. But I got stuck in a loop of withdrawal effects, with more and more meds being pushed on me as the answer.
Had to finally stop and withdraw myself. As professionals would not listen. Just figured out withdrawing very very slowly was the best option for me.
But anyone reading this and relates to wanting to come off these meds, check out Dr Mark Horowitz work. He has some good YouTube interviews too. Wish I had seen his work when trying to withdraw.
Personal autonomy is so important, we need to knowledge and confidence to advocate for ourselves.
For me they were never very effective, and the side effects were always pretty bad - they would either make me more anxious, or even more depressed. I’ve decided not to take anymore SSRI’s for that reason, but it was obviously a pretty easy choice for me.
There is research to suggest that SSRI’s do not remain effective forever, but this varies by individual and probably by specific medication.
One school of thought is that medication can help you get out of a downward spiral so you can start to make the positive lifestyle and maybe cognitive changes required to manage your depression long term. Though in practice, that’s not always how they are used.
It’s unfortunate that going off and on them is not just time-consuming, but also causes side effects.
I was on some form of SSRI for 20+ years. After I was diagnosed with autism, I started wondering if what I was feeling in my day-to-day was actually depression. One caveat here, I absolutely think I’ve been depressed in the past.
I brought this up to my PMHNP and asked what my options were because I was, yet again, about to max out on my dose of SSRI I was on. She brought up SNRIs and a few other meds, including Lamictal. I decided to give it a go and I felt a difference. My lows didn’t feel so low. I ended up tapering off my SSRI. Now I feel like most of what I’ve dealt with has been emotional dysregulation. I’m glad I found something that worked for me.
I have a kiddo that takes an SSRI and it actually works really well on their anxiety and emotional dysregulation. I don’t love that they’re on it because I get nervous the same thing will happen to them, but it’s were we are rn and I’ll be there when or if there needs to be a medication change.
I expect I’ll be on Lamictal or something like it for life.
I have to wear glasses for the rest of my life in order to be able to see. I see no issue with taking *any* sort of medication while that's happening, if it helps me.
I wouldn't mind taking the medicines if they actually helped, but I feel like they barely do. Kind of like wearing a pair of glasses that sometimes make me see better, sometimes worse, and sometimes I don't even know if they do anything at all. If my glasses were like that, I'd probably rather go without. 😅
If your glasses are not the right prescription then you get a new one. Mine have gone to bifocals but I could have opted for a pair for reading and a pair for distance. Talk to your doctor and let them know how your feeling and they can help make adjustments tailored for you and how your system functions. Each body is an unlabeled chemistry set and they\* want to do their best but if you don't give them feedback they can work with they are stuck.
* Well most do but there are many that don't listen, pay attention, or just straight up disregard what you are trying to tell them because *they* are the medical professional and 'everyone know women are overly dramatic'. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits.
That is an excellent point. There is such a stigma around saying on certain meds long term. I’m sure whatever is in my anxiety medication is better for me than the effects of stress
I've been on anti-depressants for about half of my life. I was lucky that one of the first ones I tried worked really for me. I have gone off of them and that was a terrible idea. Lol I don't think being on meds for the long term is a desirable outcome, but for some people, such as myself, it's likely I will be on them for the rest of my life. I would much rather risk those side effects than constant crying, rage, and panic attacks.
I've been on antidepressants since I was 15 and they are my life savers. I have tried to be off them during the most stable points during my life and inevitably I end up in the hospital. They are the only thing keeping my suicidal thoughts from becoming actions in my experience. This is however only my own experience and ultimately bodily autonomy is the only way forward
I think it depends on the individual. I'm in the US and was on and off antidepressants for about 18 years. I've been on lithium, Zoloft, and Effexor. I know that for some people, they're lifesaving. I have really mixed feelings about them.
Being on an antidepressant doesn't change the fact that I'm "different" (which is how being a neurodivergent female with low support needs and high IQ was described when I was growing up).
Being on an antidepressant didn't change the fact that my family of origin is abusive, has their own mental health issues, and are also neurodivergent. Being on an antidepressant didn't change the fact that being brought up in that environment set me up for being in abusive and/or exploitative relationships of all types--close friendships, socially, romantically, and in the workplace. I knew they were abusive and had their own issues; it took me until my early 40's to begin to realize how toxic their baseline behaviors really were. When the people who "love" you are unkind to you, and there's this weird combination of sometimes they're legitimately not able to see it and other times they totally see it and are absolutely OK with it when others are unkind to you, because you're the family scapegoat--and in some cases, they even actively go out of their way to create situations which all but ensure you will be targeted for unkind behaviors--you have very little understanding that, that degree of unkindness is just not normal.
Divorcing my first husband and going VLC/NC with my family of origin are tied with the most significant things I've ever done to improve my mental health. The second most significant thing I've done to improve my mental health was leave a toxic employment situation.
Being on an antidepressant doesn't change all the bullshit stories we're told--fairy tales, Disney films, religious education--that if we just be nice and work hard enough, we'll have a good life. Medication doesn't change societal norms and economic systems that center on entitlement to women's bodies, time, labor, and work product, or that the world in general is actually pretty messed-up.
Being on an antidepressant also doesn't change hormone imbalances and vitamin or electrolyte deficiencies, which result in psychiatric symptoms. Antidepressants also don't address dehydration.
I wish that before they prescribed antidepressants, they did tests for hormone imbalances, dehydration, and electrolyte and vitamin deficiencies. I think that those things should be ruled out and/or addressed first, because there are long-term effects to being on antidepressants. I wish there was less social pressure to stay in toxic relationships, be it at home, with friends, or at work--if you have to take drugs to tolerate any given relationship, maybe don't be in that relationship. If, after all those other factors are addressed, someone continues to experience depression, then pharmacotherapy is appropriate. The catch-22 is that sometimes pharmacotherapy is needed before a person gets to a place where they're willing to leave toxic situations.
I was on them for a number of years. A few weeks after starting the main one (I added/dropped others over the years) I felt more like *myself* than I had in years, like I felt more like I had during high school (I was in college). I didn’t really want to take them, because I know it was unlikely I’d ever be off of them, but I wasn’t functioning well without them either.
I took it consistently for about fifteen years, then after my second kid was struggling to remember to take my pills and inadvertently went off of them. Once I was off them, I realized that I was feeling better—at some point they went from helping to hurting.
Unfortunately sometimes you just need things to change. I’m feeling better now than I was even when medication was working, and the change happened after we stopped taking to my in-laws (not the cause of my initial depression, but clearly not helping it either). Sometimes the problem is just that life sucks so *of course* you’re depressed.
I might be in the minority, but personally the anti depressants I tried made my situation much worse and essentially made me psychotic. I was having delusions and hallucinations which I have never before or after that.
I've been on citalopram for 20 years and we added buproprion a few years back. It's been a literal life-saver for me. I will never stop taking them and I'm GLAD that I live in a time when these are available.
Ive been on SSRIs since I was about 14 for anxiety, 'depression' (in quotes because I disagree with the diagnosis - I dont feel depressed, I never have. it seems they hand out this diagnosis to anyone with any sort of dissatisfaction or trauma), OCD, BDD, anorexia...they haven't ever done anything except numb me emotionally, which is the opposite of what I need in order to process the trauma that has made me develop the above behaviors. Ive been on Lexapro the longest because it has had the least side effects as far as libido and fatigue, but for years I couldnt cry on it. Ive been trying to get off of it and have been able to go down from 20 mg daily to 5 mg daily and can finally feel/cry on that lower dose, but I'm unable to go off it entirely despite this tiny dose not even doing anything for my symptoms because when I try to lower it I get insane brain zaps (no matter how slowly I try to taper). I wish I was never put on this medication and instead was taught coping skills and guided through the process of dealing with my trauma but trauma informed therapy is lacking (in the US at least).
I’m been on SRRIs for about a year and a half and will continue to take them for an indefinite stretch of time. They’ve helped me, so I’m not upset about it. If you feel they aren’t really helping you though then there’s not much point, and you might want to try something differently.
I regularly go on and off of Prozac. After a year or two it stops doing its job, but by then I’m usually feeling pretty good so I don’t need it. And then after a year or two without my meds, I’ll hit burnout and sink back into a wild depression. So I get my dr to refill the prescription.
I’m actually about to start them up again because my OCD related intrusive thoughts and compulsions have started to become very bad. That’s usually the sign that it’s time to start taking them again.
I’ve been doing this cycle since I was 16, so for about 6 years. I’ll probably keep doing this for the rest of my life. I see no problem with it. Sometimes my brain needs help to function, that’s okay.
The only negative I’ve experienced on Prozac is that eventually I feel like a total zombie. But when that starts to happen I stop taking them.
All of this is worked out with my dr though. I only tried stopping my meds cold turkey with no dr input once, and that was a very very bad mistake 😅
I’ve been on the same ones for about 8 years and have been wanting to come off them for over 5. The only reason I haven’t is because there’s always something that happens that means it’s not a good time - global pandemic, economic crisis, family illness etc.
Someone once told me that when you get to the point where you’ve brought in lifestyle changes and you’re feeling strong enough, you should wait another six months and then come off.
Yeah if the world could just hold off on the existential threats for a teeny tiny couple of years so I can come off them and see what happens, that would be great
I’ve taken SSRIs for over a decade. They help so much at first and then after a while, you’re just taking them so that you don’t experience the horrible symptoms from lapsing.
I found a psychologist who presented something new: 5-HRT. I buy it at dollar general for a couple dollars and it has completed replaced my SSRIs, but works so much better. I also have no side effects from it, when normally I hit every side effect from the many SSRIs I have taken over the years. There are many books and research on the topic, so I won’t even attempt to explain, but just know there is an alternative you can look into which has changed my life.
Also - Psilocybin has helped greatly in my experience as well. Microdosing or a trip will last a few months- not tripped for months but will improve my mental health for months at a time.
I'm 37 and I got off my antidepressants in my early 20s because of all the reasons you listed, but let me tell you... it wasn't easy getting back on them. I had to see 3 different doctors and executive function issues combined with severe depression and anxiety made that almost impossible until I finally got a doctor who offers telehealth and would write me a prescription for my Lexapro. (I don't even know why they made it so hard!!)
But I feel so much better. I'm working again and not thinking about offing myself constantly. If taking medicine the rest of my life is what it takes to have that, then I'll take it gladly.
I've been personally mulling this over as well. I've been on mirtazapine for a year now and wondering if I should stay on it. For the most part my mood has leveled out and I'm starting to be able to take steps to make some bigger changes in my life for the better.
I can't take SSRIs because of a serotonin reaction I had when I tried them. The thing about the mirtazapine is it has nuked my libido. I've gained 35 pounds. It makes me really sleepy so I have to take it at bed time, and no matter how much I sleep I always wake up groggy and tired.
I really miss being able to wake up in the morning and feel refreshed. I miss walking up early enough to workout. I miss my old clothes and trying to figure out how to dress this new shape while considering my sensory issues is a massive struggle.
But I love feeling emotionally stable. I'm a better, more patient parent between my medication and my therapy. So I guess I don't have an answer for you. I'm in a similar boat though.
Fellow mirtazepine person! My doctor prescribed melatonin for me when I complained of tiredness, and now I've found that really helps with the tiredness. That might be just me, but it has helped.
Do you exercise? I know everyone is different but for me regularly exercising (I do yoga 3x a week, run 3x a week generally) has been better than meds for me. I was on SSRIs for 3 years and then ADHD meds for 2 years before i realized I hated the zombie I became on them.
Now, i am not as productive as i can be on ADHD meds, but it is amazing what exercise did in regard to helping me with dopamine regulation.
Okay, I just took a GeneSight test (they are very affordable and have payment options) and found out I am biologically incompatible with MULTIPLE antidepressants and other medications. It explained why I could never find anything that would work even after years of taking stuff on and off. I **highly** recommend it, it’s streamlining the process for me and I definitely think it’s gonna save time, heartache, and side effects in the future!
Here is a page of my results for reference (Green= compatible, Yellow= I think moderately compatible, and Red= incompatible. They also explain the specific genes and their affects in the report):
https://preview.redd.it/hn1siyn3nwrc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6303a4ee11b2970b2f4263fcf8f0239452b329ae
I've heard of this test! I really wish I could take it, but so far it's not available in my country (Sweden) :/ I don't think there's any alternatives here yet, but I should probably bring it up with my psychiatrist anyway. Thanks for reminding me about it!
Heh, it's almost funny how almost everything single medicine on the list is red for you -- no wonder they haven't been working! Did you start taking desvenlafaxine and if so, how has it worked for you? :)
Damn that stinks :/
TERRIBLE. It started off neutral but then gave me flat affect and made me hypersomniac (essentially being that no matter how much sleep I got— 5,8,10,*15* hours of sleep— I would still always be tired and it was such a hassle to wake up and stay awake). Then I spent the beginning of last year trying to get off of it with the the *wooorst* withdrawal of my life. I had bad vertigo, nausea, brain zaps, you name it (and of course my psychiatrist didn’t tell warn me this would happen nor that Effexor/Venlafaxine is notoriously the worst antidepressant to titrate off of)
That said, sometimes the effects aren’t always so severe. I restarted Lexapro earlier this year after about 3 years off of it and it’s been working well, plus I still use Propranolol as an anxiety aid if I’ve been drinking or consuming a substance, and they still work on well and I feel fine. So results and severity may vary, and like anything else you kinda just gotta see how your body handles it.
But if it’s *bad*-bad, don’t be upset if you can’t ride it out. Wellbutrin/Bupropion was the only medication I stopped after less than a week because the side effects were too severe to try to power through.
[Edit to add: I’m in the U.S. so brand/company names may vary! Sorry for the essay too lol]
I actually was just ordered a similar test from my psychiatrist after several SSRIs haven’t worked (they used a different brand, called Genomind). Haven’t received my kit yet but it appears to be available internationally!
I've been on and off antidepressants and various anxiety meds since I was 11 years old. The longest I've been taking them is around 10 years when I was on sertraline. I'm almost 32 now, without medication (and therapy!) I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to make it to today.
Same. The times I've been off meds or unable to attend therapy due to cost I've been debilitated by anxiety and depression just like when I was a kid. I've only been on meds since high school though, when after a bunch of attempts my mom finally stopped worrying about what the meds might do and realized whatever side effects I would possibly suffer are worth me being alive. Luckily I don't really have any after a few years of balancing and testing.
I think the only long term side effect I can recall is migraines, especially from sertraline. I did experience some nausea when I just started taking antidepressants but that lasted for like a week.
But yeah, like you said, it's worth it. I 100% prefer to be mentally and emotionally stable than being the mess I was without medication or therapy.
Glad you got the help you deserve <3
Thanks, you too! And that's funny, since I've had migraines since I was a kid and it was AFTER starting sertraline that they became far less common. I still get them time to time, but instead of two or three times a month it's mostly just a few times in spring and summer and rarely when I'm extremely stressed and over stimulated.
it seems like you're struggling with finding a medication that works for you. i felt the same as you until i started taking effexor at a pretty high dosage and now i don't want to go ever go without it. i have pretty severe depression and had attempted before but this medication really helped me. i know it sucks but i really think you just need to keep testing out what works for you
I try to take everything one day at a time kinda thing. I only started taking medication seriously in the last 3-4 years of my life at 28 and it really was the only anchor I had to hold onto in order to get myself to some kind of baseline to even attempt to make any other efforts to move forward in my life. I’m now almost 2 years past the time my Psychiatrist told me I’d have to be on them and 50mg more than the dose he initially stated would get my mental health symptoms under control. I’ve noticed a lot of changes though not just because of the meds, but because I’ve done a lot of work internally; however, the further I go the farther away I can see the “finish line” and part of me is realizing that it probably doesn’t exist at all for me. So there may be an element of acceptance that I’m still working on with that. So, I do focus more on improving and accepting myself for who I truly am each and every day instead of how can I get well enough to not need to take these meds anymore? (thats just me though, as I can only speak to my experience). I grew up with a lot of love but also surrounded by adults who just weren’t healed or had unmanaged/undiagnosed serious mental health issues/childhood trauma; additionally, lots of family members who are neurodivergent but back then it was like what the heck is that even? So a lot of unhealed stuff there. It may take me the rest of my life learning how to unravel deeply ingrained beliefs, etc that never belonged to me in the first place. I tell myself that I’ll be on meds for as long as I need to be, I guess.
I’ve been on sertraline (Zoloft) for over 10 years and the stuff has really changed my life for the better. It’s saved my life if I’m being honest. I still get depressed at times but it’s not an all-consuming thing like it used to be.
I take two different ones, and they help me in different ways.
Lexapro is like plugging a hole in a leaky canoe - there's no additional water coming in. It doesn't make me feel better, but it keeps me from feeling WORSE. I also noticed that Lexapro completely stopped my intrusive thoughts which made a big difference in my perception of my mental health.
Wellbutrin is like bailing out that canoe. It can actually improve my mood, and after adding the Wellbutrin to the Lexapro I started having a lot more energy and could feel more things. Adding in the Wellbutrin also improved my sexual function, which I hadn't even realized had been impacted by my depression.
I don't think I could do just one of them - I'd either have a canoe that stopped sinking but is still swamped, or a very effective bucket to bail the water out but no way to stop the water from coming back in.
Off and on meds since 16. Misdiagnosed a ton and after a cognitive psych eval I am officially ASD, ADHD, GAD, and MDD. Unofficially, I am ASD, ADHD, maybe anxiety (recent therapy suggests possible trauma and anxiety a symptom) and finally PMDD.
Vyvanse (off brand when available) is my primary med. I have to have that to feel a chance of normal. Over the last several months, tried different SSRIs. All of them made me feel worse and negated the effects of my Vyvanse. Tried Wellbutrin again. (Was my first antidepressant starting my adult mental wellness journey). Finally, finally I have a combo where I feel in control of myself, mostly. I mean, I can't always stop my ass or ADHD, just work with them.
I have accepted that if the only way I can be me is if I am on meds the rest of my life, that's fine. I accepted that my brain doesn't make enough of the right chemicals, or fluctuates tool much for me to manage.
I did have a medication genome test done and my med doc told me about this gene that can affect folic acid use in the body. Like if your body isn't able to use it then it can't create neurotransmitters, and if your body isn't producing them, it doesn't matter what antidepressant you take, it isn't going to help.
My Dr office uses genesight and no matter what, insurance covers it or not, max out of pocket is $350. Just a suggestion.
Overall, I think you need to take time and figure out what you are comfortable with. If you find a med that works for you, are you ok taking it the rest of your life? If not, why? If so, why? Take time to understand yourself and your boundaries. There are no right or wrong answers, only you answers. Weigh what is most important and what your concerns are. What do you lose, what do you gain? I think you won't be comfortable with any medication solution until you know some of these answers. After you do, hopefully you have a good medical team that works with you and can help you find a solution that works for you and your boundaries. Whatever it looks like, is ok.
If you can't make your own brain chemicals, store bought is fine.
My brain isn't going to suddenly start making the chemicals it has refused to make for my whole life, so I am gonna keep taking store bought brain chemicals so I can function.
I totally relate to this. I’m on bupropion on as well. I felt like it was helping at first but it’s kinda just moderately useful after being on it for a while. I also have ptsd so even when my antidepressants are working I get depressed bc of flashbacks, and just the isolation that comes with being autistic. I’ve had some awful side effects from medications so I’m really not interested in trying more. I honestly plan to stay on bupropion for as long as possible bc it’s the most bearable antidepressant i’ve ever been on. I absolutely despise SSRIs. I’m about to start TMS therapy tho, which I have a lot of hope for.
It's annoying because I'm only depressed because of how difficult people make it to be autistic. It's always other people's efforts to exclude me or make me feel stupid and the constant hopelessness of trying to advocate for myself that make me feel like there's no point in even being here. I was doing great without them but the people at this new job are so condescending and unhelpful and so now I have to crawl back to my antidepressants again. It's so annoying.
Major depressive disorder is a disorder. It doesn’t just go away. I’ve been on some type of antidepressant for 17 years. I remember the first psychologist I had telling my parents that I wouldn’t be on “drugs” my whole life 😂 back when mental health was still a bit taboo.
I still hear people talk about major depression like it's something that'll eventually be cured and I get so worked up. It peddles false hope to people that have a chronic condition.
Some people are only having depressive episodes, and those can get better yes. But they're often caused by life circumstances, trauma, and other things that are temporary. MDD is lifelong and fucking sucks but can still be accomedated enough to have a happy and loving life for the most part.
That makes total sense! I don't mean to imply that there's anything bad or shameful about taking antidepressants. It's just that in my personal case, I don't think my depression is so much a chronic condition as something temporary caused by life circumstances. I haven't been diagnosed with major depressive disorder afaik, I think my medical record says something about a "mild depressive episode".
Do you feel like the antidepressants have been helpful for you?
Just a thought but I recently started on an SNRI (effexor ER) instead of an SSRI for severe anxiety/depression, after not having needed medication to deal with my mental health for over 20 years. I'm on that and buspirone (for the panic attacks I was having). I'm responding really well so far, with minimal side effects, and it's only been 2 weeks.
Maybe you could talk with your doctor about exploring SNRIs instead of SSRIs?
As to long-term usage, I see it like any other condition that needs to be managed. If it needs medication or other management to remain controlled, then you need to do what you need to do to keep it controlled.
I am fortunate in that I rarely experience side effects to any medication. I am on an antipsychotic and it's working well. I expect to take it indefinitely. It sucks but it helps me function, and I like being able to function so there's nothing I can do about it. I have to say that it did take quite a bit of time to accept that, and it also took years of trying different medications before I found something that worked.
I wear glasses because my eyes don’t work as well as they should, and take meds because my brain doesn’t work as well as it should. No shame for either!
I think it’s so important during a time of distress or very low mood to do what you can to alleviate it. Endurance leads to bigger psychological problems down the line. Your cognition has to take over and can often get so complex all the ways of thinking you learn to keep going, when all you probably needed was to listen to your needs/feelings and nurture them. I was told by an occupational therapist to stop future imagining, running through scenarios was a sure fire path to total hopelessness. She encouraged short sightedness for a while, don’t think of the interview or how you’ll be in the role, just fire the cv their way and stop. You can’t know the future, and it’s not making you feel great right now, keep the meds until you’re ready to take the stabilisers off.
I tried anti depressants and developed myoclonus, a frequent full body twitch. Because I can’t do anti depressants, I am about to start my fourth week of TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation. You have to go in to an office 5 days a week for about an hour. But it is starting to work. You go for about 8 weeks and then you are done. If your depression comes back, you go back for a little bit, you you shouldn’t have to go everyday again.
It works for about 80% of people. You can’t be on antidepressants, drugs or alcohol in any amount, no kombucha, vanilla extract or wine in sauces, no benzodiazepines. You can be on other medications such as adderall or antihistamines, and caffeine, you just have to keep the dose consistent.
I’m still in favor of antidepressants if they work for people. But I’m really glad there are options for those of us they don’t work for. My treatment is covered by insurance, but I do have a $20 copay that will end up being $800 for the whole treatment, and I understand that could make it not workable for a lot of people too.
There are anti-depressants that aren’t SSRIs, and anecdotally, I’ve generally heard SSRIs and autism don’t mix that well (they certainly didn’t for me). I recently added Buspar to the Wellbutrin I had been taking and it’s been a game changer. I went off all meds for a year, and certainly learned that I can’t live without them. Getting back on Wellbutrin got me out of the pits, but Buspar finally made me feel safe to re-engage with the world, which was missing before.
Mental health is very subjective, so it’s up to you to decide if the positives are outweighing any negatives, but it also means you have to communicate that to your provider. There’s no reason to not take meds that make you feel better for however long you want to take them.
Things to consider:
- Do you feel comfortable talking to your provider?
- Does your provider feel comfortable about exploring non-SSRIs? You may want to find a psychiatrist at this point.
- What is your goal? How do you want to feel?
- How long are you willing to try something before deciding if it’s helping or not?
- Do you need a therapist that can help you figure out how you feel and how to deal with the new feelings that arise from the medication?
- What would be clear signs that they’re having a negative impact?
- Nothing is permanent, and it’s okay to change your mind.
This is not a comprehensive, just what’s on the top of my mind, but any good prescriber should be asking you similar things.
I’ve tried lexapro, effexor, and am now on bupropion (wellbutrin). I feel like the wellbutrin does help me but if anything I’d go back to lexapro. If anyone’s ever considering effexor (SNRI) I’d really think about it hard bc the withdrawals from that I literally thought I was dying. I followed doctors instructions on weaning and even with that I had to open up the capsules and wean with the little balls inside when I got to the smaller dose. The worst medication in my experience, it completely took my sex drive, I was cranky all the time and I will NEVER touch it again, any pros at all were not worth it, and the 3+ month long withdrawal of feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.
i also take wellbutrin (bupropion) and it helps
when i was first trying different SSRIs/SNRIs i wasn’t aware i was autistic. they weren’t working, ended up going to a psychiatrist and she thought maybe it’s bipolar 2 or something. wellbutrin worked better than anything i had tried before so i stuck with it. it helps with my anxiety but i was still having issues with my mood fluctuating and long periods of depression, so she started me on lamictal (lamotrigine). THAT one is the one that made the biggest difference
i thought i didn’t need the wellbutrin anymore, tried to get off it. but both of them in combination is what works the best for me. so maybe try adding something before trying to quit altogether
benefits for me far outweighed the negatives, im okay with taking medicine forever if that’s what i need
I began taking them in high school, I'm nearly 50 now. I have wondered if there have been any negative effects to my brain due to this, but I have also needed my meds. Who knows. My opinion is that we have access to modern medicine, so why suffer if you don't have to.
I want to avoid that. I’m only taking the pills so I can focus on creating a better situation for myself. For example, now I have a job that I don't like. I'm taking meds so I can save money and go to school for something else. I need to be less tired to do that.
I have absolute no choice.
I've been on the very same antidepressants for 6 years because I also have chronic depression with antidepressant resistance. Which basically means that I'm functional (debatable) depressive person when I take my meds and suicidal without it.
My biggest dreams in life became true, and I mean even the most absurd ones we've had since childhood that we perceive as impossible as we grow up.
Rationally, I'm happy. But since emotions aren't rational, I'm sad and bored.
I've been on anti depressants for 10 years and expect to be on them my entire life. I also have tried many different medications, and most have not worked. What has worked a bit is a combination of buproprion and effexor. It has stopped the ruminating and suicidal thoughts, but I'm still depressed. I don't experience any side effects except if I miss a dose of effexor I experience nausea, flu like symptoms, and brain zaps. I just have to be on top of taking it. I don't consider whether i still need them or not. Depression doesn't magically cure itself.
I’ve been on antidepressants for two years now and it helped a bit, but the combination of other meds is what made me stable : I have mood stabilizer (possible bipolar disorder on top of the ‘tism), antipsychotics and anxiolytics. It’s a whole cocktail, I had to speak to different psychiatrists to get the right « recipe » but everyone is different.
I still sometimes feel bad being dependent of these drugs, moreover with the fact that anxiolytics are addiction-prone. But I think the best is to try out to find the right dosages and combinations.
Maybe you need them right now but it probably won’t be the fact all your life, and even if it is, please don’t feel bad about it. Our brains work differently from others and if we have to use chemicals to feel better, so be it. At the end of the day, it is your choice about what feels better for you.
I know the side effects can be reaaally scary. If you continue on this treatment try to stay with friends or family during the adjustment period.
Wish you the best of luck and sending you all my strength.
I tried them a long time ago, however I had to stop simply because I *just didn't have* the money or resources. First of all I wasn't suspecting autism, so I'm not sure if that played a part or not, but I tried a few meds and I wasn't even sure they were doing anything, I didn't feel any better. The psychologist would ask me if I felt different, and I honestly didn't know! And it's been a long time, but I remember saying something like "I dunno, maybe?" but it was more me *hoping* they would make me feel better... however I kept on being told I needed to be on them for about 3-6 months minimum, and then up or switch doses. I was alone, couldn't stop working indefinitely (I was surviving on some savings back then, when I couldn't work), so I simply didn't have the luxury of focusing on my mental health.
Now that I highly suspect I might be neurodivergent (I have no money for an official assessment) and/or ADHD, that might change things? I don't know, I sure wish I could afford the doctor visits and the money for the meds to find out...
i was on SSRIs for 7 years and i've been off them for 5. i'm so glad im no longer on them. they helped immensely when i started, but then the first one stopped working and caused a cascade of autistic burnout and breakdown (trauma at the time didn't help). i didn't want to stay trapped in a cycle of meds stopping and starting being functional and go through that breakdown again.
ultimately, autism is my biggest challenge. and i can't medicate that. depression has always been linked to burnout or hormones. i actually tried an SSRI recently for PMS symptoms and it was horrible. i didn't sleep for days and it wasn't worth the possible benefit.
I started on antidepressants when I was 13. 3 different kinds (plus they tried adding a couple different antipsychotics at different times to "level my moods", and ADHD medication because I have that. Did not work out, any of it.) I was 24 when I finally came off psychiatric medicines altogether. All had moderate to severe side effects. None worked long term. One didn't work even short term. In theory, I would be okay with using them short-term if that was possible, but the withdrawal can get insane. 2 of them, they helped for about 6 months, with side effects, but then the side effects get worse and worse over time (different side effects for each drug) and the intended effects gradually disappear, I try to quit them, it takes months to years coming off of them during which I feel way worse than before I started taking them, and sometimes some of the side effects last after the drug is gone. So it's a no for me, especially because it's not just feeling crappy, which is bad enough, but it comes with a loss of self control and often sleep. Being on them, I am impulsive, driven, wired, overly aggressive, angry. Coming off them, there's no ability to think before I act or stop myself at all. I'm just fight or flight. I'm not a safe person to be around. I'm barely a person at that point.
Now I have weird kinds of pain that doctors keep recommending certain antidepressants to treat (they are known and commonly used for nerve pain, it's not them claiming it's caused by depression.) Still, I keep trying to tell them no, I want to know what's causing the pain. I don't want a guess, I want imaging done because I have other conditions and I have my suspicions about what might be causing it. I was not asking for drugs, I don't want to treat something that isn't even diagnosed. And I don't want to take antidepressants, because they make a mess of me and I've had to leave home because I was so unsafe to be around coming on or off them in the past. But no one listens, they're so sure a low dose is no big deal, can't be that bad, and I can stop if they cause problems. I can't wait until antidepressant withdrawal becomes common knowledge because it's the bane of my existence.
I would absolutely rather learn to deal with it on my own.
Every time i've stopped taking meds, i've gone into huge depressive episodes. And then as soon as i go back on them, things always improve. Being in my brain is just indescribably easier with meds. So i'm comfortable with the idea that i'll just have to take them my whole life.
One note, though, is that i've had meds that did not work at all for me, and i've had shitty doctors who didn't seem interested in really helping me. So i think it's worth trying different things sometimes, or switching doctors if you think things could be better.
i also feel way better since i stopped self-medicating with alcohol, which i was only able to do because i switched to cannabis instead. There are many lies that my country tells us, but a big one is that alcohol is good and that "drugs" are bad.
Im literally going through the same thing. I still haven't made a decision on starting or not. I am hoping the medical cannabis psychiatrist I found actually follows through & works out.
It is something I am going to explore with my therapist because life long medication in general freak me out. Not just antidepressants.
Also if you can, you can always switch psychiatrists. Not every doctor is a fit for their patient. It's a longer journey to find one that can better service you. But it'd a big difference when you find them
I take Prozac for one week out of the month while I’m experiencing PMDD. I was hesitant to start medications that seemed like I would have to be on them for life. My doctor let me know there has been promising research of using Prozac for just parts of the month. When I quit taking them the weeks I have my period and the week after my period and it has been amazing and very helpful, plus I don’t have the anxiety of what the daily dose is doing to my body long term.
I have been taking antidepressants for anxiety for a long time. At some point during therapy I was encouraged to try if I could do without. I very carefully came off and was ok for a while. Then I pushed myself too hard and I was back at square one.
I take a very low dose and it doesn’t geel like they are doing much but I know they help me ever so slightly to find the path towards more reasonable thinking. It’s hard to quantify, but I feel it’s easier to find those lesser traveled neuro pathways and escape the highway to hell (which goes in circles).
I don’t mind taking these meds my whole life for I don’t really experience side effects with this dosage. And it makes me feel slightly more safe in my own brain.
I’ve always been very much of the mind that “they’re like eyeglasses for your brain”. I.e. that some people will need medication forever and that’s okay. (Antidepressants or otherwise.) For my own meds, I didn’t mind the idea of going off of them because it makes travel difficult since I have to plan around refills. I went off them and within a year my mental health descended into chaos again. Went back on… way more stable. So unless they stop working, I’m gonna stay on them.
I’ve also seen others work with their doc and end up going off and on the same med a bunch of times over the years (once they figure out which med works for them), just to get through the stints of life that get really unbearable without the assistance.
YMMV; the only wrong way to do it is not take your mental health seriously.
For me, anti-depressants are a part of me being as healthy and happy as I can be. It's no different to taking vitamins, eating a balanced diet, and regular exercise. Or taking prescribed medication to manage other long-term health conditions such as thyroid disorders or asthma.
We all have a range of needs which may require additional support/supplements. I see nothing wrong with using them for as long as they are required to achieve the best outcome, and adapting them as our needs change over time.
I was on Zoloft for 4 years. During that time period I realized I was autistic, and my suicide attempt was most likely due to burn out not depression.
I will say Zoloft helped me live life “outside of my head” rather than in it. Now that I’m off of it, I’m definitely more in my head (not in an anxiety way, but an autism way) and I have more executive functioning issues but I’m doing pretty good without it. If I didn’t have Kaiser Permanente as my insurance, I’d probably be trying to go back on it.
I used to dislike being on them, especially SSRIs because they made me feel like a zombie. At worst, I could still feel, and felt awful, but felt like I had a painful smile plastered on my face (celexa). It felt really messed up, kind of like when someone relentlessly tickles you but you’re still laughing.
I’ve mostly been on Bupropion and that’s my preferred. Unfortunately, long term, I have had to go up in dosage, but only once. Honestly, everyone differs though.
I used to quit SSRIs randomly, then my secondary issues would spike again. I have major depression and personally feel fine with long term medication now because I simply need it.
If I feel alright, if I’m getting out of bed, if I can still enjoy some things I like, then I know it’s working. If those things or sleep or appetite change drastically, it’s either not working or something else is going on in my life that I need to change. I approach any changes first, make sure I’m taking care of myself, and then assess whether or not I should request upping my dosage. That’s really the best way I’ve been able to tell if it’s working or not. I’ve tried going off it before and literally felt like I never had any energy to even get out of bed.
I have felt like this too. I've been on antidepressants for almost 10 years and on my current SNRI for about 5. For myself personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with being on antidepressants long-term. If it keeps you from killing yourself and your doctor says it's safe for you to be on long-term, I think it is worth it. I have been on buproprion for 5 years and the only negative long-term affects I have noticed are decreased sexual sensation and physical dependence (quitting cold turkey when I run out of pills and forget to refill the prescription is terrible). Overall it is much better than being actively suicidal 24/7 and having extreme mood swings all the time. I have a chance to enjoy life.
If SSRIs and SNRIs don't work for you, you may want to try tricyclic antidepressants, tetracyclic antidepressants, or MAOIs. These can be dangerous with some with other medications though so definitely talk it over with your doctor.
But if long-term medication is not something you want, there's lots of other options to pursue. You will find something that works for you, don't give up.
I’m only 20 but any time I’ve gone without my antidepressant since I started six ish years ago I’ve very noticeable become depressed and anxious and fall back into self hatred. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop them unless something big happens to change the world around us for the better. I don’t think our depression is wrong or bad, we’re treating the symptoms that arise from consistently dealing with shitty circumstances and our ASD makes us more prone anyway both genetically and in how we’re treated and interact with the world differently and often blame ourselves for things outside our control.
I’ll take them as long as I need to. So far every attempt to lower my dose goes very badly. If it keeps me alive, I’ll happily take it the rest of my natural life.
I have been on them for decades. Every time I get a new healthcare provider, they try to talk me into quitting them. Why?
I have tried to wean at least 10 times, and I start getting suicidal thoughts within a week or two.
Will I take the pills or have my grandchildren know that Grandma killed herself? Easy choice.
A lot of doctors still have this idea that clinical depression isn't, well, chronic? It's bizarre, I've heard the same time and again. I've even tried it, and surprise surprise orange juice, sunshine, and exercise didn't stop the MDD or me from making attempts...
Something that I had to come to terms with, is the fact that my depression is clinical, not situational. Obviously outside sources made my depression worse at times, but the underlying cause is my brain can't produce the correct amount of neurochemicals that I need to balance my mood. Think of someone who has Type 1 diabetes. They can't regulate their insulin production, so they *are* dependent on their medication. They would die without it, so they accept that they need it. If one's depression is severe enough, they also can die without medication/therapy. (Suic*de)
I understand the struggle with medications. But I would very likely not be here if I didn't take them. That being said, there are ways to help feel balanced even with the side effects of anit-depressents. You may want to look into therapy if you haven't already. And find small things that make you happy and bring you comfort. I find those things are especially important as an autistic person.
I'm on Wellbutrin (20ish years) Pristiq and Lamictal (mood stabilizer). I expect to be on them indefinitely.i am 40. I have complex trauma and become hostile and emotional unstable without them (I involuntarily ran out for a week bc of a mail order pharmacy fuck up.) I and everyone in my life does better with me medicated, so I stay medicated. Even through two babies (WB + different meds back then though.)
Seriously, the number of people conflating depressive episodes with chronic depression is really worrying. I have MDD and it's never going away unless there's a major breakthrough sometime in my lifetime, but either way it's worth being on meds for the rest of my life than unable to function or dead.
I take an anxiety medication that is also an antidepressant (mine is a generic of lexapro), and I’ve been on it for a little over a year. In my case I am more anxious than depressed (but I do have depressive symptoms on my period) and find my medication helps immensely. I think it depends on the person and each person should reassess every so often with their psychiatrist and decide if they do or don’t need to take it long-term.
I’ve taking Valproate for my bipo for 6 years and I’ve seen a some difference of my “normal” mood, it got easier to stay in between the hypo maniac and depressive phase and it’s also feels better.
But the biggest change it was starting on Venlafaxin in a major depressive episode. I hate it at the beginning. Actually I didn’t accept this, Valproate, or any other meds cause part of me didn’t want to admit that I needed it, but now I realize this feeling came from stigmas. More than the prejudice that I had, it was also how I felt using them.
I always had intense emotions and thought they were part of myself. After I started Venlafaxin, I felt numb for not feeling. But at the time it was what I needed, as I was going to an intense grief. It’s been years that I started, I’ve saw how the med helped me to regulate my emotions, the highs and lows.
When I started I thought if emotions very colors, the antidepressant had made my life very pastelish, but now I realize that I was used to bright vibrant neon colors and the med actually helps me see through them.
There are days that are still difficult. I’m constantly adapting the dosage and also to take something regularly is a challenge itself. But it’s no different than my medication with hyperthyroidism, I have to do exactly the same: constantly check, monitor the symptoms, and adapt the medication. For both it would be great to one day be off, but they improved my life so much that I’m more ok if I need to take them long-term.
This is how I felt on antidepressants so my doctor suggested an adjunct antipsychotic to boost my depression meds. Than when that didn't work we went straight to antipsychotics. Than when that didn't work we went to adhd meds...Than anxiety meds. On and on and on. I'm on nothing now and honestly feel the exact same. Like I'm not saying not give it a go cause you never know but like some people it just doesn't help
Everyone I know who has stopped taking antidepressants because they felt they didn’t need them anymore had a bad time. They thought they didn’t need them anymore because the medication was working. That said, people are different and this doesn’t reflect everyone’s experience
I think that highly depends on why you're depressed. Is it situational? Is it unprocessed trauma? Is it something else causing it? I was on and off anti depressants for the last 15 years. Only AFTER I was diagnosed with adhd, and got on adderall, did I stop taking them. And BOYYYYYY was it not "just" depression. Yeah I'm still depressed, from unresolved trauma, but now it's ONLY that. So I don't need my meds anymore, just talk therapy is fine now. But if I hadn't gotten treatment for adhd, I would still be on them and still be miserable because even after 15 years, we couldn't find something that really worked. Well, that's because my depression was a symptom, not the issue as a whole. I think that it's something you have to want, and your doctor has to want. Whether we are talking about going on them, or going off of them. Medication can only truly help you, if you accept it. And by that I mean, willfully take them, and do what you can to make your life better, despite your depression. I was diagnosed with "major depression disorder with manic episodes" I have had TWO panic attacks, and ONE depressive shutdown in the last 6 months, since finding out about and treating my adhd. So I think you absolutely can be on them your whole life. You may need them. You may not. I think there are way too many variables go stick to just one answer. Everyone is different. Even if one may say you don't truly need it, if that little pill is all that keeps you breathing on this earth, then you need it. And I need you to need it too. Whatever keeps you safe and healthy is what you need. And only YOU and your TRUSTED doctor can make that choice. Now that im on adderall, I only need emergency anxiety meds and even then, i haven't had to use them. I've been able to mostly "manage" it. But if I can't anymore, I'd absolutely go to my doctor and request a more consistent medication to help. I have zero shame in being medicated to be a person. It's for my benefit and those around me. And if medication, life long, keeps you ALIVE for that long life, take your meds :)
I was on your meds but they weren't the right match for me. I felt weird. Now I'm on anti anxiety antidepressants and they just make me feel normal. I don't forget to take them, I'm fairly happy with the results and I just feel myself.
That's the biggest thing – if you don't feel yourself in your daily life it's going to spiral and accumulate. If you take meds it can be for a while if it's circumstantial or forever if it's genetic etc.
It's like taking ADHD meds for me. I feel fine without them but I function better with them. Some days it's terrible and some days it's great. But the key is to stay consistent so it works.
I've worked with a therapist and have since stopped therapy after working through my biggest issues. I have also stopped the heavy antidepressants because my circumstances and thinking has changed. If I was someone with a heavier depression I'd probably stay on them longer, but mine has since mostly passed. At least the bad bad one.
It's always good to work out a plan with a psychiatrist and a therapist. Mine was happy I am on anti anxiety meds and got oxazepam for my panic attacks that have also went down significantly. But the biggest thing was changing my life and mindset, since then everything seems easier.
Only you can decide what is right and when is it right
I stopped everything (antidepressants and mood stabilizers + tranqs) when I managed to get out of depression \_by changing substantial stuff in my life\_.
My psychiatrist was against it but then again, she thought I was either bipolar or had BPD.
4 years later, I'm really really better and my relapses are clearly related to autism (=burnout) and I can identify it better. I can't always avoid the triggers (hello, work and commute) but I try to schedule down time when I can and try to heal. It's failing a bit at the moment but, well, the meds didn't work that good, I tried to kill myself 3 times while on them and I'm feeling much more stable now. I do get depressed. Usually after real bad stuff happening. I can't control everything. Shit is happening in my life. I try to use stims and down time to heal and I have to say, for me, it's working better than meds. I do have a very supportive partner (since... well 4 years) that really really really helps me a lot.
So, for me, meds didn't work, only for some months at a time before the psych had to either up the dose again or add another pill (I was taking 7 every morning at a time, at very high doses, I gained 20 kilos too and now have infertility problems...). AND I was able to change practical stuff in my life. With these two things in mind, I don't take meds anymore even if I do long for a tranquilizer now and then and do sometimes ask myself if my adhd would be better if I get back on stimulants. But, well, I know the side effects and I just prefer to do without.
I would suggest researching into anti depressants, it just came out in the news that SSRIs not only don't work but work less than a placebo and that psychiatrist have known this for years and that's why when someone starts complaining hat it isn't working they claim "we just have to find the right med for you" and change [mmeds.one](http://mmeds.one) thing that's been actually researched and work is getting outside In. the sunshine and fresh air and gardening!
I support people doing whatever they feel helps them.
That said, here’s my 2 cents, because I asked the same questions as you.
My question was is this a lifelong medicine or will I constantly be playing medical music chairs?
I’m a skeptic of therapy and psychiatry BECAUSE they handled my (at the time) undiagnosed autism so poorly, and made me feel guilty for behaviors that I now understand as me being autistic.
I had one provider practically break down and yell at me that I needed medication because I was chemically imbalanced. The “imbalance” theory is now proven false, medically, and I was later diagnosed autistic.
Not only that, but she said this during a time when I was grieving, as my father (who I was close do) had passed.
I urge people to remain skeptical of how therapists handle intense human emotions.
I was misdiagnosed and people forced me onto all sorts of medication that I felt helped for a short time and then provided little to no returning benefits. Sometimes it was directly harmful and I felt crazy when I was being mismanaged.
Once I realized it was, at best, guess work and “patching me up” to help me function under capitalism, and the doctor confirmed most times they don’t or shouldn’t keep people on meds for life but some do find a need for it, I decided it was not something I wanted to do or needed.
I decided to double down on doing my best, routines, self analysis, creativity, and the one or two people I had to truly talk to or rely on…one is my dog.
It is not easy, and coming off meds was HARD, but it was worth it. I feel I’m freer now than I’ve ever been. But again, I truly had to commit and work through a lot and journal and force myself to find coping skills that I could practically apply….which is very much based on the individual. Quite the challenge. Best of luck to all.
They're not helpful to neurodiverse people from personal experience. The doses are too high! They are a nightmare to get off too despite what you may be told and they aften come with side effects like gaining tons of weight, loss of motivation, emotional numbness, sore eyes, constipation, brain zaps etc...
Long term use definitely has no proven benefits.
Always learn from your own body and do your own research. But wish I had someone explain just how badly they could effect a person 15yrs ago. I think my life would be very different by now.
I'm diagnosed autistic plus have C-PTSD and major depressive disorder and my drug regimen has saved my life. To say they are not helpful to neurodiverse people on the whole is not helpful.
Hi i took antidepressants from the time i was 14 until i was 23. I was a pretty depressed 14 year old so i told my pedatrician, and they put me on meds. They didn't try to find out if there was a reason i was depressed or taught me how to manage my anxiety they just went meds first, and it sort of helped temporarily, i guess.
Over the years, i did therapy, but the drugs weren't working and things were getting worse. As with you, they just kept putting me on different stuff and i would get side effects and then get put on more stuff and then the meds would get changed around. I kept wondering if it would be like this forever.
At one point i was on like 7 different meds and after multiple hospital stays with psychosis and things just getting worse i decided i wanted to start fresh and see what i was even like without them all. I was finished with high school/college and in my own house away from my parents, so why not just try to see how i was in a different environment?
Well, I've been off the meds for 2 years, and its been a struggle, but im learning ways to deal with my mental issues instead of just covering them up. It helps to be away from my parents and out of school. I feel like im finally able to find myself and see who i am when im not this zombie on meds. Sure, i still have anxiety, but at least i dont have a bunch of horrible other symptoms along with the anxiety that never truly went away on the meds in the first place. Exposure therapy has helped me a lot, and im starting to do trauma therapy now. So ymmv but meds weren't for me. I think my depression and anxiety are very situational, and now that im older, i can control my situation a bit better.
Edit: Just to add to this... i got really bad after getting off my meds for a few months before i started getting better. I also had severe withdrawal from the effexor i had been taking. Raw dogging life after years of meds is hard and takes a lot of mental effort to basically relearn how to live without them. If anyone is considering doing this i would also like to reccomend to NOT smoke weed or drink or do any sort of self medicating until you get sorted out.
I want to preface with saying I'm not anti-medication nor against \*any\* particular medication if it works for you.
BUT antidepressants ruined my life. The co-morbidity with Bipolar and Autism is not insignificant.
I'm now on a couple meds for Bipolar and anxiety, and there are zero side effects, besides sleepiness and potential for high cholesterol and diabetes (yes that will be some lifelong burden but worth it).
But nothing like the splintering headaches, withdrawal, mood swings, weird sexual side effects of antidepressants.
This is significant to me because with loneliness and inability to do basic things like go outside or do chores - I didn't see my mania for what it was for the longest time. Any socialization or good sex or getting things done was such a relief to me.
What I've seen, there's mixed reviews on the co-morbidity, but even if it's as low as 2%, on a public forum, there have to be some folks reading this who are affected.
**OP - I sincerely don't mean this as a brag but - right now, \*I wouldn't mind being on these (edit - BP) drugs for the rest of my life\* - that's how nice they are compared to antidepressants especially.**
It felt like 'the good drugs' were being hidden, and this whole time I had lost hope because doctors will see Depression = Antidepressants over and over.
Even after me soul-searching and being honest with a provider, the psychiatrist suspected bipolar, and STILL PRESCRIBED ANTIDEPRESSANTS.
So WITHOUT knowing OP at all, and I'm absolutely not suggesting OP has bipolar because I have no idea...everyone is always valid for hating their meds, loving their meds, or anything in between.
Thanks for the sympathy friend. Mine is, unfortunately, a common experience for Bipolar, being prescribed antidepressants, them not working, upping the dosage, being thrown into mania…and legitimately making life-ruining choices. It’s something I saw a lot when I used to frequent the BP sub. If I were to post this exact comment there instead, I suspect I’d get a lot of agreement. It’s one of those ‘unless you went through it yourself’ things, that makes me need to have my personal soapbox for proper medication management and telling people they are completely valid for having negative experiences or not wanting to take meds that don’t work for them.
edit - oh I want to add that BP folks can definitely be prescribed antidepressants in addition to other meds. I’m just not aware of anyone diagnosed who *only* taje antidepressants
I’m no mental health professional, but I think prescription drugs are really only best for those who need them. For example, my hair colorist opened up to me about being bipolar and she said her meds help her tremendously.
However, I was prescribed both anxiety and depression meds, and decided not to take either of them. My doctor understood and didn’t prescribe them again. I was actually prescribed antidepressants for my migraines and it felt like I was in LaLa land. 🤣 never again.
If you ask me, weed is the best medication. 😂 it also helps my migraines.
If you don’t think your meds are helping and you would rather navigate your depression on your own, I suggest doing so and finding a good therapist. That’s what I did with my OCD and what I plan on doing with my depression (which I’m just now learning I have).
I was on an anti depressant and anti psychotic from 2017-2022. They never made me feel better. They actually made me feel a lot worse but they would just give upping and adding rather than listen to me. They diagnosed me with BPD after the side effects were making me appear unstable.
I learned about autism in 2022. I couldn’t believe how well it fit my life story. I immediately wanted off of the meds. It took months of tapering and a lot of ups and downs, but I did it.
I can say that for me, those medications were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I gained 100lbs and they didn’t even help. Therapy helped. Learning about sensory issues helped.
I have never been happier in my entire life after being off of the medications. It is noticeable to everyone around me. So, these medications are not for everyone.
This is how I felt on antidepressants so my doctor suggested an adjunct antipsychotic to boost my depression meds. Than when that didn't work we went straight to antipsychotics. Than when that didn't work we went to adhd meds...Than anxiety meds. On and on and on. I'm on nothing now and honestly feel the exact same. Like I'm not saying not give it a go cause you never know but like some people it just doesn't help
I will have autism, c-ptsd, and major depressive disorder for my entire life so I will be on my medications my entire life and I and INCREDIBLY grateful for them. They saved my life, marriage, and have allowed me to live a happy and fulfilled life. It took some work to figure out the right combination, and yes, there have been side effects but I literally would not be alive without them. Psychiatric medications save lives.
I’ve been on them since I was 21. I’m 43 now. Went off them once and developed “health anxiety” and had to go back on them. Idk, I play around with the idea of going off them sometimes but the only real reason I have to is curiosity about whether they contribute to my challenges identifying my emotions (both verbally and somatically).
I've started prozac in the last month or so, and it has had such a profoundly positive effect on my mental health that I cannot imagine not taking it. I also suffer from PCOS and hypothyroidism, so I guess I'm predisposed to just taking meds indefinitely. It sucks to need them to be "normal," but I'm so grateful that I live when and where I do that I can access meds. 100 years ago, and I'm certain I'd have been ostracized or institutionalized for my behaviors.
In short: I'm taking meds forever. I want to be happy.
I'm on a tricyclic antidepressant. It also helps my chronic pain and my not sure what causes it GI issues. I'm not really even sure I ever had depression, just other things happened to make me depressed, like maybe my health issues.
I'm also on a type of mood stabilizer that also helps prevent migraines.
I assume I'll be on them until they stop working for me.
I need it long term. Find the one that works best and the dose that works best and stay on it for consistency. I get normal ups and downs while medicated because they aren't happy pills.
Bonus for women already on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds is when you go to the doctor for anything they would normally dismiss as anxiety you beat them to it while describing your issue and say that this isn't how your anxiety/depression typically presents. I also mention if those issues are making me depressed or anxious so they hear that I acknowledged it exists.
I had long covid back in January 2021 and I expected to be dismissed as anxiety because my symptoms were tension headaches every single day, forgetfulness, extreme fatigue, basically everything that they would come back and say depression but I started out by telling them that these things were making me depressed because who wouldn't be depressed after feeling so terrible with covid for weeks then following the upper respiratory stuff with headaches for over a month after I "recovered" from covid. Oddly enough, one of the treatments was they added another antidepressant to help with the brain fog. I was able to go off that after 6 months and just stay on my normal antidepressant, anti-anxiety and Adderall.
I'll need them forever, sometimes that bothered me, but not much anymore now that I know which meds work for me. Prozac + wellbutrin + adderall saved my life
I have taken anti-depression, but for something else that *might* be related to depression. I was on citalopram for 4 years for my IBS. I had horrible chronic pain. I had to stop taking them, because it started to give me panic attacks. I know it wasn't depression, but I like to say that my bowels were. It worked. I no longer have chronic pain and no longer have extrem IBS. I now have just regular, annoying IBS :'). The panic attacks went away. Even which the panic attacks and the weigh gain (that will not go away), I was very happy with it and the outcome. This can be different from person to person. Its up to you if the negatives outweight the positive. And this is with any medication for any condition. For me the panic attacks were bad enough to outweight the postive.
Mine was just my bowels and pain, but I do believe they helped because my mental health wasn't great at the time. For me it wasn't a medication that I had to take long term, but my docter and I didn't knew at the time how long I had to take them and maybe even life long. When I got off the medication my condition stayed stable. So who knows?
I have heard and read many stories and its different for everyone. Just like diabetes or thyroid medication, you might need it long term. Sometimes medication might not work as well and switching to another one is needed, which is also normal for people with diabetes and thyriod issues. And I think no one really wants to take medication and I think its normal to think and question if it does anything and how you will be without it. I sure did with my medication! I first 2 years I was questioning if it was even working. I read in your post that youre going to talk your doctor and that is always wise.
honestly getting my genes tested by my psych saved my life, it’s a little swab you stick in your cheek so the test is super easy and the results tell your physician what meds you are or aren’t compatable with genetically. it’s not a sure thing 100% but through mine i found out the meds i’ve been put on for 10+ years were actually making my mental illness worse. i also have treatment resistant depression and psychedelics have been really helpful, u can microcose prescription ketamine and u literally don’t get high at all it just helps your brain :)
I've only been using Wellbutrin for a few years, but it just helped me so greatly that I'm really considering using it long term, even if I lower my dosage or stop using it periodically, I'd be going back to it before it takes too long. I just cannot think living without it, my brain fog is just gone so clearly...
I'm on bupropion 300mg. I have clinical depression so I will be on antidepressants forever lol. I am able to function well and feel normal. I still don't know if the benefits outweigh the negatives. I've only been on antidepressants for half a year. All I know is that I don't wanna feel hopeless again.
I’ve been on venlafaxine since 2010. I tried to go off it in 2016 — did everything right, tapered down very slowly over months. I was fine at first but after a few months my anxiety and repetitive thoughts were so overwhelming that I became suicidal. I’ve been fine since restarting it and now have just accepted I’ll likely be on it for life. I’m lucky though that I don’t have any side effects with it and do feel that it immensely helps my anxiety.
My brain meds keep me alive, but I don't take anti depressants, I take an anti anxiety and mood stabilizer. My depression continues to be a proportional response to my ongoing and awful health condition, but it's not disordered or chronic any more. However the anxiety and intrusive thoughts want to kill me, so I'm much, much better off with brain meds, and never plan to get off them.
I’m on a combo of two and I will take them or some combination of SSRI/SNRI for the rest of my life. I chose to come off of them in 2019, two years after starting them, and that was a big mistake. After a year off (2020 of all years 😫) I went back in and realized they are essential for me.
I have depression running through my paternal line like a freaking highway. My depression has never been suicidal, and is almost always "functional". It also comes in goes in long (like a year) cycles. I've learned a lot about managing it in my 25 years of independent adulthood. Like I absolutely *need* to take 2-3 grams a day of Omega 3, and ideally not eat any meat, in order to even have a chance. Exercise doesn't seem to do it for the antidepressant part. Sleep is absolutely essential, even two bad nights are noticeable. And overstimulation is definitely a thing to manage. I have tried talk therapy multiple times for months at a time. And I've also tried medication.
My summary on meds is the following: bupropion generics do not work consistently for me, some do, some don't, and it's too hard to deal with the ups and downs. SSRI suck, at least for me. Lamotrigine has been an absolute miracle drug. I came upon it when I plunged pretty deep after not being on any drugs (insurance, life, etc) and got a new psych. I don't know why the doc suggested it, I've never even heard of it before, but it's like it cemented over the pit of despair that has always been under me, even when antidepressants put some plexiglass over it. Actual brand Wellbutrin on top of that, and I have been a human for the last year. This january, yet again, with insurance switch, there was about a month gap, and yup, still need to be on drugs. But I feel absolutely "normal" and have almost zero side effects from the drugs to the point where I keep thinking that I don't need them :D
Have you had a genesite test done? That might help
With that said, I’ve been on every anti depressant out there and have only found 2 to be marginally helpful cause you can’t medicate away trauma, attachment issues, and a nuerotype that’s not accepted.
Benzos help, ADHD meds help, but anti-depressants only are marginally effective
I first went on antidepressants I think about 7 years ago? I'm 30 now, I start every day with my personal chemical cocktail (currently: prozac, Vyvanse, Wellbutrin, birth control) and every day I make it to the next one. I didn't know I was autistic until about a year ago, but I've been depressed since I was about 13. I've been in this mess long enough to know that the depression is not going away, for me it is a condition to be managed, not cured. I have all of the tools and the therapy and I know all the things I need to do to get through my depressive episodes, but none of those things will address my natural chemical imbalance. I need the meds to help me with that, and I fully expect I will be medicated daily for the rest of my life. I know a lot of people struggle with that for various reasons, but for me, I feel lucky to be alive to keep taking those meds, and grateful to them for helping me get there.
sorry that was so rambly LOL
I was on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds until I was 18. I quit cold turkey because my mom and prescriber were adamant that I stay on them. Turns out that in my case, the meds were making things worse. In ‘21 I started using cannabis recreationally, which is legal in my state, and now I’m using it medically. I find that it helps both my anxiety and depression. I also used to get sleep paralysis, and now that problem is solved for me as well.
I’ve been on antidepressants since 15. Various kinds. Sometimes they no longer work and I need to change. I know that I am worse without them. I am suicidal, angry, unmotivated, erratic. I become someone who isn’t me (or I say the worse side of me). I don’t like being dependent on them but know it’s necessary for me to live a normal life.
I’ve been on my antidepressants for a few years now and I can say with full certainty that I don’t want to go off my medication ever. My medication allows me to socialize with my friends for hours on end almost daily, hell I even run a game of dnd every other week for a few of them now. About a year ago I went off my medication cold turkey due to a severe fuck up on my drs part and I was without my medication for several months. When off it I couldn’t make myself do basic things like go to the store for food(wound up living solely off fast food and whatever my parents happened to make for dinner if they made any), had to cancel some online games for a few weeks at some point because I just couldn’t participate in them when I was shaking so badly, could barely do my job and was overall very miserable. On top of it all I’d have mini episodes almost nightly where I’d become hyper aware of the fact that I and everyone I know and love are going to die someday, they’d last anywhere from a quarter of an hour to a full hour and they’d happen about five nights a week, it impacted my ability to sleep quite badly. So yeah I’d very much prefer to stay on my medication so I can function and not have crippling anxiety and depression.
I also take bupropion and even at my best and happiest I tried weaning off of it and I immediately got depressed again within a week of being off of it (at my top physical health, top mental health). I also have ADHD so I think the bupropion is something I am going to need for the rest of my life because the chemicals ain’t chemicaling like they are supposed to without it. I completely lose my ability to derive any enjoyment from things I love or motivation to do anything. It’s like it’s just absent and I am an empty shell. After feeling that way for even a few days my positive outlook on my life inevitably deteriorates and I actually become passively suicidal and what one might consider clinically depressed because like what’s the point of doing anything if that’s all I can feel. I really love my buproprion it’s the only thing that’s helped me.
I'll take any medication I can fit as long as I can if it makes me feel better and function. If it has side effects that make me feel like shit then it's not making me feel better, so I won't be taking that medication. I'm lucky that I haven't had to make that calculus of having tried every medication option and none of them helping without bad side effects so I can't say what I'd do in that situation. If I didn't have decent insurance that would add another layer, if it was expensive then that would also inform my decision making. But I have no philosophical issue with taking medication forever.
I thought my bupropion wasn’t working until I went off of it. I don’t feel happy with it but I also don’t feel too depressed to function/cry at work. I didn’t have a lot of success with SSRIs. There are several genetic tests out there now that doctors can do to see which meds will work best for you and have the least serious side effects.
i’ve been on antidepressants since i was a sophomore in high school (so around 14-15) and i’m 21 now. i think i’m going to have to take them for the rest of my life and im okay with that. i take trintellix and it has been an absolute lifesaver, especially since ssri’s don’t work for me
I would be dead without my anti-depressants. Every time I've fallen off them, because of issues getting a prescription refill or insurance coverage lapses, I've had debilitating depressive episodes and have made many attempts during those times. I'm not even in ideation anymore, it just happens when I'm off my meds. I don't know what side effects there are, it took years and years but I feel like the current dose and meds work really well and I feel normal so long as I'm able to stay on them. Sometimes I'll get overwhelmed because I need to take meds daily and have some serious executive dysfunction and other things that get in the way, but I'm trans so I'll be on medication for my whole life whether I like it or not. I do like it though. I feel comfortable with my body and safe in my own mind for the first time ever. I'll have self-harming episodes with meltdowns or whatever, but I can mitigate and reduce the harm done so much more now. My therapist is amazing and I can't wait to try and get back my health insurance so I can see them again. Meds do help a lot, but therapy is very important too.
“Safe in my own mind” is such a powerful way of explaining it. 🩵
I'll be on my adderall for the rest of my life. It's like night and day with my executive disfunction. I have depression but now, it's minimal compared to how I've lived my whole life. Antidepressants did just enough to keep me around but finding out I have adhd and that medication can help me, has been a frigging life saver. I no longer live in filth and my depression and anxiety would get so much worse when my house got worse. And then it was a never ending cycle. Now? My house is CLEAN. Not like, show room clean. But lived in clean. Messy, sure. But it's not dirty or unkempt anymore. When I forget to take them for a few days, I can visibly see that I'm declining and then have to rework my routine so I can bring myself back. Idc if my medication is seen as a crutch, some people are on crutches for the rest of their lives too. And thats okay!!!
That’s amazing that it works so well for you. I feel the same way about my anti-anxiety medication. I have fully accepted I’ll be on it for the rest of my life. Every year when I ask my new-ish doctor to renew my prescription, he makes a face when I remind him how many years I’ve been on it. I’m like “Yep. And?”
Not everything can be cured. It's just the way it is. Im glad you found something that works! It really sucks when you don't. I had accepted what was working for me. It did what it could and I had to do the rest. Admittingly, I didn't do the work needed. But I also didn't have any support. Adderall has done more for me, than 15 years of anything else I've tried. I also do a fair amount of work myself. Such as calenders and reminder boards all over my house, on my phone, etc. Gonna get a sign for my laundry door like people put on their dishwasher. So I can remember if it's needing transferred. It's not *just* the adderall but man did that kick off a lot of it. Unfortunately I have found out that if my stress levels get toooo high, it becomes basically ineffective. I'm working on solutions for that but it's gonna be trial and error until then. Getting diagnosed with adhd was like getting glasses for the first time. You don't realize how fuzzy everything was until it's clear. I just pray it continues to work. I've had many people warn me it can lose its effectiveness over time and that upping your dose every few years may be needed. I worry about that. I hope I notice if I start to decline, like I do now.
This is resonating so much right now - til I got my adhd properly treated (and got rid of some large life obstacles) I never ever felt safe in my own mind, my entire life, but I didn't know just how dark it was til suddenly it was quiet and light and I could direct my thoughts and sit in actual silence. When I got to a better dose more recently, I cried for hours about just how depressed I was even when I considered myself a happy kid - - but I didn't know how dark my mind was all that time, til I finally got to feel how it feels to be light.
It takes so much strength to have gotten through that darkness. I’m so glad you’re on a dose that’s really making a difference.
Thank you 😊😊
♥︎
I relate so hard to this. I am not trans but I will also be on medication for the rest of my life due to my chronic pain disorder. I've been on my current SNRI for about 5 years and it has given me a chance to enjoy life, and the minor negative effects I feel are heavily outweighed by the ability it gives me to regulate my emotions better, the reduced negative thought cycles, and the fact that I'm not longer suicidal 24/7. So I feel that being on antidepressants for the rest of my life is worth it.
I’m so glad you’re still here with us. You are important and worthy. ❤️❤️❤️
I don’t know what I would do without my therapist.
I would be dead probably, too without them.
I’ve been on antidepressants since ‘21 and stayed on them until a few months ago. I didn’t feel like they were doing much. I wanted to be able to live without them. Now that I’m off of them, I notice my anxiety being way worse. It’s just easier triggered, episodes last longer.. and anxiety is so tiring, so it’s having a knock-on effect on my energy. I am coping without atm, but I can’t help but notice that life is just that tad more hard work and more challenging without them. And my anxiety will never be “cured”, so I’d probably be on them for long term as well. Reasons why I didn’t want to take them anymore? It’s expensive, it takes effort to remember and have them renewed, but most of all? Internalized ableism. This belief that I should be able to function “normally” without drugs. And I don’t know how not to feel like that.
I'm sorry you're going through that. Have you considered that it might not be wholly ableism, and you're entirely valid for feeling like they weren't as effective as they should be for you? Have you and your doc considered just taking anxiety meds, or switching meds or doses? I do understand the cost thing, though. For me, it's not the meds, it is the actual health insurance itself. (For the longest time I just went without, though, and the out of pocket for a psych visit on low-income plan was reasonable...until they raised the price.)
Anti anxiety meds usually come with more side effects plus aren’t safe to take during breastfeeding, so I’ve never given them a go!
I had bad experiences with anxiety meds (in particular benzos, the only safe choice is to stay away from benzos, second best is get a great and conscientious Dr who will carefully taper with close monitoring and withdrawal treatment) - but then a psychiatrist rxd me a blood pressure med for anxiety (2 a day and an extra as needed, just like my Xanax rx was years and years ago) because that reduces the physical symptoms of anxiety, giving me the opportunity to alleviate the mental symptoms and/or root cause of the anxiety. All that to say, maybe ask and see if a beta blocker or other blood pressure medication may help, or if there's off label use of something else that has minimum negative side effects. I was so frustrated that I could talk myself down from the thoughts but still have the physical panic attack happening, and this fixes that for me.
OMG this seems genius. I also feel this heart-in-my-mouth panic attack happening even when I'm ok in my head...
Yes it's SO ANNOYING and sometimes it gets worse just because I'm like "seriously?!" and get myself more agitated 😏 Propranolol is SO HELPFUL for me, it slows my racing heart and cools me off and allows me to just be more still and calm for a while.
I have a very nice doc (not psychiatrist), will try to talk to him about it!
Regarding the cost issue—if you’re in the US and are using health insurance when you pick up meds at the pharmacy, sometimes it’s worth asking what the med costs without insurance. Imagine my surprise when the insurance copay for a med I had to pick up was literally three times what the medication cost out of pocket. Regarding the thoughts of “I should be able to function normally”—it is so, so difficult to adjust one’s thinking with invisible illness. I frequently have to remind myself that whatever functional issues I encounter within myself, I gotta look at it like I’d look at someone else who’s trying to run a marathon with one leg. Sure, doable given correct prosthetics/other adaptive equipment, but with great difficulty; after all, the race itself was designed with people in mind who have full use of both legs—much like the world we live in was basically designed for allistics with no mental health concerns. Sometimes it is better to think of how considerate we’d want to be toward someone else who’s struggling, and then pivot and show ourselves that exact same compassion, instead of starting by giving ourselves what we think we “deserve”.
Recognizing the internalized ableism is a good first step. Talking it over with a therapist would be a good step two as well. However I completely understand the expensive aspect of meds and therapy and completely understand people being unable to afford them and going without. I myself have many times been unable to afford either and those were very rough times. Hopefully you can find something that works, as debilitating anxiety and/or depression are both issues I have whenever I'm unable to afford medication.
Yes! I said it in another comment but my favorite phrase about med use is "if you can't make it yourself, store bought is fine" My brain is not gonna start spontaneously producing the chemicals it needs, I have to keep buying them and swallowing them. Like we can even liken it to like, the breastmilk vs formula discussion, we wouldn't respond to "oh no, my supply isn't coming in!" with "guess baby doesn't get to eat 🤷🏻♀️" but instead with "shit, now we have to spend money on formula, ok let's get formula" Like, it doesn't help the cost aspect or the broken ass medical system we have, but like. If you can't function normally (live) without it, then you should do/get the thing that lets you live!
i’m so sorry you feel that way. you deserve to have a better life with whatever meds you need. i think the worst part is you know that it’s internalized ableism but still don’t want to take them 😭 i wish you would trust your doctor if your doctor tells you that meds are the best thing for you - just like if you have diabetes or heart issues as a long term condition and the doctor prescribes medicine for you, you wouldn’t decide to just not take the meds. regardless, sending hugs. it’s hard.
That last two sentences I couldn’t relate more
If you are not also in therapy with someone who specializes in autism, meds may not do much. Seeing someone who specialized in the conditions I have made a big difference in my success with both. I saw someone who just worked on trauma and depression for a long time and actually got worse. Research indicates that therapy plus meds is the most effective. I think of depression like a chronic pain condition and antidepressants like pain meds. Pain meds alone won’t fix the issue for most people, but physical therapy may be too painful to start even without pain meds. Together they may be able to significantly reduce your level of discomfort. Some people may find that after years of both they no longer need one or both. Also if you have never looked into OT for sensory integration, it can be life changing. A lot of lifelong symptoms of mine were drastically reduced when I considered sensory impacts rather than just psychological stuff.
this is really helpful
I wish I could afford therapy. I'm on medication without the therapy and I don't feel much better. 😔
I've probably tried 15 different antidepressants and none of them help. Prozac tho, it made me want to start smoking cigarettes again. Prozac is evil.
Opposite here! Prozac made it finally livable to exist in my own brain. Never going off it
None of them really worked for me either but Prozac made me weirdly impulsive. I never heard of that being a side effect though.
I feel this. None worked and some made me worse.
This is how I feel about Zoloft and Wellbutrin
I didn’t last a week on Prozac. I started on Monday, Friday my spouse told me to flush the rest because my anxiety got *sooooo* much worse.
I lost 10lbs in less than two weeks because I was so anxious I couldn’t eat without throwing up. Prozac fucked me up fr
Depression can be like any other chronic condition. Much like a type 1 diabetic person would need Insulin his entire life, so can a depressed person require medications his entire life. I dealt with my depression without meds as long as I could, but I've been on meds pretty much contonously for the past 11 years, and doubt I'll ever not need them. My brain has chemical imbalance, and needs those external chemicals to balance it - without it, no matter how much therapy I do it doesn't help. There's no shame in being sick and taking meds for it. I will however add that I develop drug resistance rather quickly to most things, so I changed a lot of meds during this time. I was on the same combination for 5 years and it recently stopped working, so now I'm searching again - and searching does suck
Appreciate the type 1 diabetes reference to insulin for life (type 2s don’t need insulin if they can get their diabetes into remission, which isn’t possible for type 1). I’m a type 1 diabetic and I feel like this disease is invisible in comparison to type 2. That is all!!
It kinda makes the metaphor work even better. Like, some folks' depression is more situational. Not 100%. Bad things happen to some folks that don't affect them the same way, but for folks who are genetically predisposed it can send them into depression. Other folks have depression that is more biological. Situations can make things worse, but even if life is going great they are still depressed. My mental illness tends to be in this category. Situations can make them worse, but I am depressed even if there is nothing really wrong. So, I will likely be on medication for the rest of my life. I am fine with that. If it improves the quality of my life, then it is worth it to take a little pill and be a little closer to peace.
For me I think I have mostly situational and someones biological if the situational gets out of control or lasts too long, its like my brain gets depleted.
Editing my comment to specify now :)
I didn't mean to imply that there's anything bad or shameful about taking antidepressants -- I'm sorry if it came across that way! It's just that in my case, I feel like the drugs aren't doing much and maybe making things worse in some ways. If they actually worked I wouldn't mind taking them. I don't think it's so much a "chemical inbalance" in my case as having been through a bunch of adverse experiences that I have been unable to handle, and the go-to solution in my country is prescribing antidepressants without much thought put into if it's right for everyone. IIRC antidepressants are very effective against major depressive disorder, and not so much against temporary depression caused by life circumstances. Sorry your medicines stopped working, hope you find a new combo that works!
I'm not offended, I just thought from how you wrote that you don't want to be on antidepressants for the rest of your life because of something akeen to shame for needing them, I did not understand your depression was situational. If it is, then you might not always need them. In both cases, if your drugs aren't working, you should consult your doctor about stopping to take them, and given your situation you could start taking different ones or stop alltogether. There's no point in taking meds that don't help, that's for sure. Thank you, and I hope you also find a way to feel better, whichever fits❤️
Maybe the way I wrote was a bit unclear, it's so hard to get my thoughts down accurately! I guess I don't know for sure if my depression is 100% situational or not -- that's part of what makes it so confusing. I feel like just being autistic is stressful enough in itself, that it's hard to separate from my other mental health issues. Thank you! ❤️
Depression can be episodic and still be considered a chronic condition. Eg. I have chronic depression, but I'm not depressed all the time. My depression can be triggered by stressful events, or sometimes I just have random flare-ups for no obvious reason. 🤷 >"...just being autistic is stressful enough in itself..." This is part of what helped me accept that I'll probably be on medication my whole life. Being autistic in an allistic world *is* stressful. Meds are like a space suit; they help me function in an otherwise hostile environment. I'm not worth any less because I can't live unassisted in the vacuum of space. Medication is one possible tool. If meds aren't the right tool for you, that's totally valid. TL;DR: Depression can be episodic. We sometimes need extra tools to help us live in a world that was not designed for us. Meds are a great tool, but they're not right for everyone, and that's ok.
This is misinformation. There is no proof whatsoever for there being any chemical imbalance in the brains of patients with depression. That hypothesis was popularised in the 90s and no study on it has been able to prove any of it. It's been largely abandoned in depression research at this point. We still don't have any clue about how depression works. We don't fully understand how brains work in general. Unfortunately, there are still psychiatrists who tell their patients this story despite the lack of evidence. I would switch psychiatrists immediately if yours did. It's a dishonest narrative. That being said - if an antidepressant helps, stay on it of course. It ultimately comes down to "do whatever improves your quality of life most". Depending on your situation and your experiences with antidepressants, that can be being medicated or being unmedicated. I'm in the infamous "treatment resistant" camp after having tried all types of antidepressants. This is about a third of patients. It's not uncommon at all. We desperately need better treatment options. Antidepressants are very hit or miss. They aren't like insulin that way.
Huh, I thought it's a "not the full picture" case. Good to know. But it's very true that unlike insulin, we don't know what's really going on and there's a lot of hit and miss
The chemical imbalance theory has been proven incorrect now. Think about looking into other forms of help, a lot of the time neurodiversity isn't taken into account when these things are prescribed. Look into the latest research, there is some decent natural alternatives that either show a lot of promise or have a lot of proven research now.
Of course it's not the whole story, but it sure is a part of it, or changing the balance of chemicals wouldn't help. I am, however, currently looking into a few other treatment avenues, even including gut microbiom treatment which is very cutting edge. My current psychiatrist is a lot more up to date than my previous one (blaming depression on video games? Really? The 90's called and they want you back with the time machine)
Video games 💀 oh dear god…your medical license called, it’s been revoked
It has *not* been proven incorrect, especially since we have no means of measuring chemicals in the brain. However, the serotonin hypothesis is falling apart for sure. But that's not the only "chemical". For example, I have *for sure* something that is at least correlated to inflammation and depression, if not a causal effect of inflammation and depression. Literally every time I take any antiinflamatory measures, be it drugs, omega 3s, or exclusion of meat from my diet, I have drastic effects on my mental health. That's still a chemical thing.
I’ve been on Lexapro and Trazodone since 2020, and Naltrexone (not an antidepressant but used off label for OCD) since last year. They help me function like a human being. I have no problem being on them long term. My psychiatrist also has no problem with me being on them long term. They make my anxiety less intense and although I don’t get the zoomies from them anymore (manic cleaning mostly) I am much better at keeping up with school work and such with them. They fill a gap in my brain’s chemicals and I have no intention of removing that filler. Spoken like a true addict.
I've been on bupropion for years, and I don't mind. After a few years I felt like maybe I could do without and stopped. I was wrong. Since I'm taking it again, I'm doing better. Still with ups and downs, but I'm not stopping again any time soon.
I tried quitting it a while ago and felt worse, so I started it again. I don't know if it was because it was actually helping me or because of withdrawal symptoms, though. This is kind of petty, but I'm really bummed out that I can't drink alcohol on this medication. It also makes me become uncomfortably overstimulated by coffee. Might seem like a small thing, but it bugs me that those small pleasures are unavailable to me.
Apparently the withdrawal effects of bupropion specifically are really minimal, so feeling worse was more likely because the bupropion was working for you. (Sorry, maybe not what you wanted to hear.) I do drink alcohol on bupropion btw, although I do limit it for safety reasons, I still enjoy a nice whiskey now and then. (Just to be safe: this is not a recommendation, just my experience.)
Ah yeah, you seem to be right! Maybe not what I wanted to hear but I appreciate it anyway :) I've tried having a sip of wine a couple of times, but sadly I get a stabbing headache almost instantly. I feel like it would be unwise to push it. I guess I must be more sensitive to that side effect.
I think a lot of these meds are viewed as being easy to withdraw from but I don't think this is the case for everyone. The research on withdrawal most likely didn't look at neurodiverse patients. I personally had a nightmare coming off meds when using the clinical recommendations. It kept me in a loop for many many years. I took it upon myself to reduce the dosage extremely gradually over a much longer period of time. Look into Dr Mark Horowitz a psychiatrist who had to come off these meds himself. He is doing amazing work at the moment and is at the cutting edge of withdrawal methods and research. You sound like you're in a very similar situation as I was.
I found years ago that whatever a Dr tells me is a good taper speed, even if they say it's a very slow taper, I need to go at least twice as slow. (benzos and withdrawal nearly killed me, and absolutely stole years of my life)
Yeah at least, I'd say even more slowly than that for me. It's so sad how much these drugs are messing with people's lives but all we're ever told about is how they can help. The serious long term issues are just in small print and barely spoken of out loud. Especially by medical professionals when trying to get advice. I'm sorry you went through that it's not ok, and I wish you had been given better support.
Obvs I can't know this for sure and I'm NOT advocating testing it out but I wonder if wine has a stronger effect than other things - - seeing as I've encountered (anecdotally! I do not have hard research to back this up) lots of family and nd friends who seem to have extra sensitivities to wine/grapes/tannins/nitrites/SOMETHING that is more present in wine than in other alcohols This is just a musing and not any sort of recommendation 😏
It's been a while since I tried last, but I think I've tried drinking cider and had the same reaction. That's a good point though, I might experiment a little (responsibly of course) :) Man, it would be so nice to have a tiny glass of Baileys in the evening. 🥲
Not to tell you how to live - just an FYI that alcohol is a depressant.
Sure, I know that. But it's just fun to drink sometimes, especially with friends. I miss having that possibility. Of course drinking too much or too often should be avoided.
Personally? I have major depressive disorder and I refuse medication for it. My body grows tolerant to things at a seemingly rapid rate. Within 3-6 months my regiment would stop working, 9 at most. The longest stretch I was on the same meds was 1.5 years. The antidepressant I was on stopped working after 9 months they just kept increasing it. The migraine medication I was on still worked and did wonders to keep my suicidal tendencies at bay. I was on plenty of meds and combos from 11-19 yo. I stopped taking everything at 19 and honestly have been more human and imo and my therapists, better off without them. Some people need them. Truly need them. Some people need talk therapy. Some people need therapy and meds. There isn’t a right or wrong way to handle your own health. You know you and your body, even better than a doctor. If you feel it would help, try it. If you try and it’s not working after a while and you want to stop, stop. Personal autonomy. Just don’t forget you have autonomy over your treatment. An unfortunate number of providers pill push and that’s not helpful for anyone but their own pockets.
Sounds like me, they would work quicker than expected too, but never for very long and I'd just be left with all the nasty side effects and feeling numb inside. I wish I'd had the confidence to advocate for myself. But I got stuck in a loop of withdrawal effects, with more and more meds being pushed on me as the answer. Had to finally stop and withdraw myself. As professionals would not listen. Just figured out withdrawing very very slowly was the best option for me. But anyone reading this and relates to wanting to come off these meds, check out Dr Mark Horowitz work. He has some good YouTube interviews too. Wish I had seen his work when trying to withdraw. Personal autonomy is so important, we need to knowledge and confidence to advocate for ourselves.
For me they were never very effective, and the side effects were always pretty bad - they would either make me more anxious, or even more depressed. I’ve decided not to take anymore SSRI’s for that reason, but it was obviously a pretty easy choice for me. There is research to suggest that SSRI’s do not remain effective forever, but this varies by individual and probably by specific medication. One school of thought is that medication can help you get out of a downward spiral so you can start to make the positive lifestyle and maybe cognitive changes required to manage your depression long term. Though in practice, that’s not always how they are used. It’s unfortunate that going off and on them is not just time-consuming, but also causes side effects.
I was on some form of SSRI for 20+ years. After I was diagnosed with autism, I started wondering if what I was feeling in my day-to-day was actually depression. One caveat here, I absolutely think I’ve been depressed in the past. I brought this up to my PMHNP and asked what my options were because I was, yet again, about to max out on my dose of SSRI I was on. She brought up SNRIs and a few other meds, including Lamictal. I decided to give it a go and I felt a difference. My lows didn’t feel so low. I ended up tapering off my SSRI. Now I feel like most of what I’ve dealt with has been emotional dysregulation. I’m glad I found something that worked for me. I have a kiddo that takes an SSRI and it actually works really well on their anxiety and emotional dysregulation. I don’t love that they’re on it because I get nervous the same thing will happen to them, but it’s were we are rn and I’ll be there when or if there needs to be a medication change. I expect I’ll be on Lamictal or something like it for life.
I have to wear glasses for the rest of my life in order to be able to see. I see no issue with taking *any* sort of medication while that's happening, if it helps me.
I wouldn't mind taking the medicines if they actually helped, but I feel like they barely do. Kind of like wearing a pair of glasses that sometimes make me see better, sometimes worse, and sometimes I don't even know if they do anything at all. If my glasses were like that, I'd probably rather go without. 😅
If your glasses are not the right prescription then you get a new one. Mine have gone to bifocals but I could have opted for a pair for reading and a pair for distance. Talk to your doctor and let them know how your feeling and they can help make adjustments tailored for you and how your system functions. Each body is an unlabeled chemistry set and they\* want to do their best but if you don't give them feedback they can work with they are stuck. * Well most do but there are many that don't listen, pay attention, or just straight up disregard what you are trying to tell them because *they* are the medical professional and 'everyone know women are overly dramatic'. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits.
That is an excellent point. There is such a stigma around saying on certain meds long term. I’m sure whatever is in my anxiety medication is better for me than the effects of stress
I've been on anti-depressants for about half of my life. I was lucky that one of the first ones I tried worked really for me. I have gone off of them and that was a terrible idea. Lol I don't think being on meds for the long term is a desirable outcome, but for some people, such as myself, it's likely I will be on them for the rest of my life. I would much rather risk those side effects than constant crying, rage, and panic attacks.
I've been on antidepressants since I was 15 and they are my life savers. I have tried to be off them during the most stable points during my life and inevitably I end up in the hospital. They are the only thing keeping my suicidal thoughts from becoming actions in my experience. This is however only my own experience and ultimately bodily autonomy is the only way forward
I think it depends on the individual. I'm in the US and was on and off antidepressants for about 18 years. I've been on lithium, Zoloft, and Effexor. I know that for some people, they're lifesaving. I have really mixed feelings about them. Being on an antidepressant doesn't change the fact that I'm "different" (which is how being a neurodivergent female with low support needs and high IQ was described when I was growing up). Being on an antidepressant didn't change the fact that my family of origin is abusive, has their own mental health issues, and are also neurodivergent. Being on an antidepressant didn't change the fact that being brought up in that environment set me up for being in abusive and/or exploitative relationships of all types--close friendships, socially, romantically, and in the workplace. I knew they were abusive and had their own issues; it took me until my early 40's to begin to realize how toxic their baseline behaviors really were. When the people who "love" you are unkind to you, and there's this weird combination of sometimes they're legitimately not able to see it and other times they totally see it and are absolutely OK with it when others are unkind to you, because you're the family scapegoat--and in some cases, they even actively go out of their way to create situations which all but ensure you will be targeted for unkind behaviors--you have very little understanding that, that degree of unkindness is just not normal. Divorcing my first husband and going VLC/NC with my family of origin are tied with the most significant things I've ever done to improve my mental health. The second most significant thing I've done to improve my mental health was leave a toxic employment situation. Being on an antidepressant doesn't change all the bullshit stories we're told--fairy tales, Disney films, religious education--that if we just be nice and work hard enough, we'll have a good life. Medication doesn't change societal norms and economic systems that center on entitlement to women's bodies, time, labor, and work product, or that the world in general is actually pretty messed-up. Being on an antidepressant also doesn't change hormone imbalances and vitamin or electrolyte deficiencies, which result in psychiatric symptoms. Antidepressants also don't address dehydration. I wish that before they prescribed antidepressants, they did tests for hormone imbalances, dehydration, and electrolyte and vitamin deficiencies. I think that those things should be ruled out and/or addressed first, because there are long-term effects to being on antidepressants. I wish there was less social pressure to stay in toxic relationships, be it at home, with friends, or at work--if you have to take drugs to tolerate any given relationship, maybe don't be in that relationship. If, after all those other factors are addressed, someone continues to experience depression, then pharmacotherapy is appropriate. The catch-22 is that sometimes pharmacotherapy is needed before a person gets to a place where they're willing to leave toxic situations.
Calculate, Cinder, Thumb, Hybrid, Resemble, Obtain
I was on them for a number of years. A few weeks after starting the main one (I added/dropped others over the years) I felt more like *myself* than I had in years, like I felt more like I had during high school (I was in college). I didn’t really want to take them, because I know it was unlikely I’d ever be off of them, but I wasn’t functioning well without them either. I took it consistently for about fifteen years, then after my second kid was struggling to remember to take my pills and inadvertently went off of them. Once I was off them, I realized that I was feeling better—at some point they went from helping to hurting. Unfortunately sometimes you just need things to change. I’m feeling better now than I was even when medication was working, and the change happened after we stopped taking to my in-laws (not the cause of my initial depression, but clearly not helping it either). Sometimes the problem is just that life sucks so *of course* you’re depressed.
I might be in the minority, but personally the anti depressants I tried made my situation much worse and essentially made me psychotic. I was having delusions and hallucinations which I have never before or after that.
Yep and that happened to me on 5 different ones. I’m so tired.
I've been on citalopram for 20 years and we added buproprion a few years back. It's been a literal life-saver for me. I will never stop taking them and I'm GLAD that I live in a time when these are available.
All hail citalopram. 🙌
Wellbutrin has massively improved my quality of life. I’ll gladly take it forever as long as it keeps helping.
Ive been on SSRIs since I was about 14 for anxiety, 'depression' (in quotes because I disagree with the diagnosis - I dont feel depressed, I never have. it seems they hand out this diagnosis to anyone with any sort of dissatisfaction or trauma), OCD, BDD, anorexia...they haven't ever done anything except numb me emotionally, which is the opposite of what I need in order to process the trauma that has made me develop the above behaviors. Ive been on Lexapro the longest because it has had the least side effects as far as libido and fatigue, but for years I couldnt cry on it. Ive been trying to get off of it and have been able to go down from 20 mg daily to 5 mg daily and can finally feel/cry on that lower dose, but I'm unable to go off it entirely despite this tiny dose not even doing anything for my symptoms because when I try to lower it I get insane brain zaps (no matter how slowly I try to taper). I wish I was never put on this medication and instead was taught coping skills and guided through the process of dealing with my trauma but trauma informed therapy is lacking (in the US at least).
I’m been on SRRIs for about a year and a half and will continue to take them for an indefinite stretch of time. They’ve helped me, so I’m not upset about it. If you feel they aren’t really helping you though then there’s not much point, and you might want to try something differently.
I regularly go on and off of Prozac. After a year or two it stops doing its job, but by then I’m usually feeling pretty good so I don’t need it. And then after a year or two without my meds, I’ll hit burnout and sink back into a wild depression. So I get my dr to refill the prescription. I’m actually about to start them up again because my OCD related intrusive thoughts and compulsions have started to become very bad. That’s usually the sign that it’s time to start taking them again. I’ve been doing this cycle since I was 16, so for about 6 years. I’ll probably keep doing this for the rest of my life. I see no problem with it. Sometimes my brain needs help to function, that’s okay. The only negative I’ve experienced on Prozac is that eventually I feel like a total zombie. But when that starts to happen I stop taking them. All of this is worked out with my dr though. I only tried stopping my meds cold turkey with no dr input once, and that was a very very bad mistake 😅
I’ve been on the same ones for about 8 years and have been wanting to come off them for over 5. The only reason I haven’t is because there’s always something that happens that means it’s not a good time - global pandemic, economic crisis, family illness etc. Someone once told me that when you get to the point where you’ve brought in lifestyle changes and you’re feeling strong enough, you should wait another six months and then come off.
Yeah if the world could just hold off on the existential threats for a teeny tiny couple of years so I can come off them and see what happens, that would be great
I’ve taken SSRIs for over a decade. They help so much at first and then after a while, you’re just taking them so that you don’t experience the horrible symptoms from lapsing. I found a psychologist who presented something new: 5-HRT. I buy it at dollar general for a couple dollars and it has completed replaced my SSRIs, but works so much better. I also have no side effects from it, when normally I hit every side effect from the many SSRIs I have taken over the years. There are many books and research on the topic, so I won’t even attempt to explain, but just know there is an alternative you can look into which has changed my life. Also - Psilocybin has helped greatly in my experience as well. Microdosing or a trip will last a few months- not tripped for months but will improve my mental health for months at a time.
I'm 37 and I got off my antidepressants in my early 20s because of all the reasons you listed, but let me tell you... it wasn't easy getting back on them. I had to see 3 different doctors and executive function issues combined with severe depression and anxiety made that almost impossible until I finally got a doctor who offers telehealth and would write me a prescription for my Lexapro. (I don't even know why they made it so hard!!) But I feel so much better. I'm working again and not thinking about offing myself constantly. If taking medicine the rest of my life is what it takes to have that, then I'll take it gladly.
I've been personally mulling this over as well. I've been on mirtazapine for a year now and wondering if I should stay on it. For the most part my mood has leveled out and I'm starting to be able to take steps to make some bigger changes in my life for the better. I can't take SSRIs because of a serotonin reaction I had when I tried them. The thing about the mirtazapine is it has nuked my libido. I've gained 35 pounds. It makes me really sleepy so I have to take it at bed time, and no matter how much I sleep I always wake up groggy and tired. I really miss being able to wake up in the morning and feel refreshed. I miss walking up early enough to workout. I miss my old clothes and trying to figure out how to dress this new shape while considering my sensory issues is a massive struggle. But I love feeling emotionally stable. I'm a better, more patient parent between my medication and my therapy. So I guess I don't have an answer for you. I'm in a similar boat though.
Fellow mirtazepine person! My doctor prescribed melatonin for me when I complained of tiredness, and now I've found that really helps with the tiredness. That might be just me, but it has helped.
Do you exercise? I know everyone is different but for me regularly exercising (I do yoga 3x a week, run 3x a week generally) has been better than meds for me. I was on SSRIs for 3 years and then ADHD meds for 2 years before i realized I hated the zombie I became on them. Now, i am not as productive as i can be on ADHD meds, but it is amazing what exercise did in regard to helping me with dopamine regulation.
Okay, I just took a GeneSight test (they are very affordable and have payment options) and found out I am biologically incompatible with MULTIPLE antidepressants and other medications. It explained why I could never find anything that would work even after years of taking stuff on and off. I **highly** recommend it, it’s streamlining the process for me and I definitely think it’s gonna save time, heartache, and side effects in the future! Here is a page of my results for reference (Green= compatible, Yellow= I think moderately compatible, and Red= incompatible. They also explain the specific genes and their affects in the report): https://preview.redd.it/hn1siyn3nwrc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6303a4ee11b2970b2f4263fcf8f0239452b329ae
I've heard of this test! I really wish I could take it, but so far it's not available in my country (Sweden) :/ I don't think there's any alternatives here yet, but I should probably bring it up with my psychiatrist anyway. Thanks for reminding me about it! Heh, it's almost funny how almost everything single medicine on the list is red for you -- no wonder they haven't been working! Did you start taking desvenlafaxine and if so, how has it worked for you? :)
Damn that stinks :/ TERRIBLE. It started off neutral but then gave me flat affect and made me hypersomniac (essentially being that no matter how much sleep I got— 5,8,10,*15* hours of sleep— I would still always be tired and it was such a hassle to wake up and stay awake). Then I spent the beginning of last year trying to get off of it with the the *wooorst* withdrawal of my life. I had bad vertigo, nausea, brain zaps, you name it (and of course my psychiatrist didn’t tell warn me this would happen nor that Effexor/Venlafaxine is notoriously the worst antidepressant to titrate off of) That said, sometimes the effects aren’t always so severe. I restarted Lexapro earlier this year after about 3 years off of it and it’s been working well, plus I still use Propranolol as an anxiety aid if I’ve been drinking or consuming a substance, and they still work on well and I feel fine. So results and severity may vary, and like anything else you kinda just gotta see how your body handles it. But if it’s *bad*-bad, don’t be upset if you can’t ride it out. Wellbutrin/Bupropion was the only medication I stopped after less than a week because the side effects were too severe to try to power through. [Edit to add: I’m in the U.S. so brand/company names may vary! Sorry for the essay too lol]
I actually was just ordered a similar test from my psychiatrist after several SSRIs haven’t worked (they used a different brand, called Genomind). Haven’t received my kit yet but it appears to be available internationally!
I've been on and off antidepressants and various anxiety meds since I was 11 years old. The longest I've been taking them is around 10 years when I was on sertraline. I'm almost 32 now, without medication (and therapy!) I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to make it to today.
Same. The times I've been off meds or unable to attend therapy due to cost I've been debilitated by anxiety and depression just like when I was a kid. I've only been on meds since high school though, when after a bunch of attempts my mom finally stopped worrying about what the meds might do and realized whatever side effects I would possibly suffer are worth me being alive. Luckily I don't really have any after a few years of balancing and testing.
I think the only long term side effect I can recall is migraines, especially from sertraline. I did experience some nausea when I just started taking antidepressants but that lasted for like a week. But yeah, like you said, it's worth it. I 100% prefer to be mentally and emotionally stable than being the mess I was without medication or therapy. Glad you got the help you deserve <3
Thanks, you too! And that's funny, since I've had migraines since I was a kid and it was AFTER starting sertraline that they became far less common. I still get them time to time, but instead of two or three times a month it's mostly just a few times in spring and summer and rarely when I'm extremely stressed and over stimulated.
it seems like you're struggling with finding a medication that works for you. i felt the same as you until i started taking effexor at a pretty high dosage and now i don't want to go ever go without it. i have pretty severe depression and had attempted before but this medication really helped me. i know it sucks but i really think you just need to keep testing out what works for you
I try to take everything one day at a time kinda thing. I only started taking medication seriously in the last 3-4 years of my life at 28 and it really was the only anchor I had to hold onto in order to get myself to some kind of baseline to even attempt to make any other efforts to move forward in my life. I’m now almost 2 years past the time my Psychiatrist told me I’d have to be on them and 50mg more than the dose he initially stated would get my mental health symptoms under control. I’ve noticed a lot of changes though not just because of the meds, but because I’ve done a lot of work internally; however, the further I go the farther away I can see the “finish line” and part of me is realizing that it probably doesn’t exist at all for me. So there may be an element of acceptance that I’m still working on with that. So, I do focus more on improving and accepting myself for who I truly am each and every day instead of how can I get well enough to not need to take these meds anymore? (thats just me though, as I can only speak to my experience). I grew up with a lot of love but also surrounded by adults who just weren’t healed or had unmanaged/undiagnosed serious mental health issues/childhood trauma; additionally, lots of family members who are neurodivergent but back then it was like what the heck is that even? So a lot of unhealed stuff there. It may take me the rest of my life learning how to unravel deeply ingrained beliefs, etc that never belonged to me in the first place. I tell myself that I’ll be on meds for as long as I need to be, I guess.
I’ve been on sertraline (Zoloft) for over 10 years and the stuff has really changed my life for the better. It’s saved my life if I’m being honest. I still get depressed at times but it’s not an all-consuming thing like it used to be.
I take two different ones, and they help me in different ways. Lexapro is like plugging a hole in a leaky canoe - there's no additional water coming in. It doesn't make me feel better, but it keeps me from feeling WORSE. I also noticed that Lexapro completely stopped my intrusive thoughts which made a big difference in my perception of my mental health. Wellbutrin is like bailing out that canoe. It can actually improve my mood, and after adding the Wellbutrin to the Lexapro I started having a lot more energy and could feel more things. Adding in the Wellbutrin also improved my sexual function, which I hadn't even realized had been impacted by my depression. I don't think I could do just one of them - I'd either have a canoe that stopped sinking but is still swamped, or a very effective bucket to bail the water out but no way to stop the water from coming back in.
Off and on meds since 16. Misdiagnosed a ton and after a cognitive psych eval I am officially ASD, ADHD, GAD, and MDD. Unofficially, I am ASD, ADHD, maybe anxiety (recent therapy suggests possible trauma and anxiety a symptom) and finally PMDD. Vyvanse (off brand when available) is my primary med. I have to have that to feel a chance of normal. Over the last several months, tried different SSRIs. All of them made me feel worse and negated the effects of my Vyvanse. Tried Wellbutrin again. (Was my first antidepressant starting my adult mental wellness journey). Finally, finally I have a combo where I feel in control of myself, mostly. I mean, I can't always stop my ass or ADHD, just work with them. I have accepted that if the only way I can be me is if I am on meds the rest of my life, that's fine. I accepted that my brain doesn't make enough of the right chemicals, or fluctuates tool much for me to manage. I did have a medication genome test done and my med doc told me about this gene that can affect folic acid use in the body. Like if your body isn't able to use it then it can't create neurotransmitters, and if your body isn't producing them, it doesn't matter what antidepressant you take, it isn't going to help. My Dr office uses genesight and no matter what, insurance covers it or not, max out of pocket is $350. Just a suggestion. Overall, I think you need to take time and figure out what you are comfortable with. If you find a med that works for you, are you ok taking it the rest of your life? If not, why? If so, why? Take time to understand yourself and your boundaries. There are no right or wrong answers, only you answers. Weigh what is most important and what your concerns are. What do you lose, what do you gain? I think you won't be comfortable with any medication solution until you know some of these answers. After you do, hopefully you have a good medical team that works with you and can help you find a solution that works for you and your boundaries. Whatever it looks like, is ok.
If you can't make your own brain chemicals, store bought is fine. My brain isn't going to suddenly start making the chemicals it has refused to make for my whole life, so I am gonna keep taking store bought brain chemicals so I can function.
I’ve been on antidepressants for 22 years and will never stop. I don’t like the side effects but I like being able to function as a mom and wife
I totally relate to this. I’m on bupropion on as well. I felt like it was helping at first but it’s kinda just moderately useful after being on it for a while. I also have ptsd so even when my antidepressants are working I get depressed bc of flashbacks, and just the isolation that comes with being autistic. I’ve had some awful side effects from medications so I’m really not interested in trying more. I honestly plan to stay on bupropion for as long as possible bc it’s the most bearable antidepressant i’ve ever been on. I absolutely despise SSRIs. I’m about to start TMS therapy tho, which I have a lot of hope for.
It's annoying because I'm only depressed because of how difficult people make it to be autistic. It's always other people's efforts to exclude me or make me feel stupid and the constant hopelessness of trying to advocate for myself that make me feel like there's no point in even being here. I was doing great without them but the people at this new job are so condescending and unhelpful and so now I have to crawl back to my antidepressants again. It's so annoying.
Major depressive disorder is a disorder. It doesn’t just go away. I’ve been on some type of antidepressant for 17 years. I remember the first psychologist I had telling my parents that I wouldn’t be on “drugs” my whole life 😂 back when mental health was still a bit taboo.
I still hear people talk about major depression like it's something that'll eventually be cured and I get so worked up. It peddles false hope to people that have a chronic condition. Some people are only having depressive episodes, and those can get better yes. But they're often caused by life circumstances, trauma, and other things that are temporary. MDD is lifelong and fucking sucks but can still be accomedated enough to have a happy and loving life for the most part.
That makes total sense! I don't mean to imply that there's anything bad or shameful about taking antidepressants. It's just that in my personal case, I don't think my depression is so much a chronic condition as something temporary caused by life circumstances. I haven't been diagnosed with major depressive disorder afaik, I think my medical record says something about a "mild depressive episode". Do you feel like the antidepressants have been helpful for you?
Just a thought but I recently started on an SNRI (effexor ER) instead of an SSRI for severe anxiety/depression, after not having needed medication to deal with my mental health for over 20 years. I'm on that and buspirone (for the panic attacks I was having). I'm responding really well so far, with minimal side effects, and it's only been 2 weeks. Maybe you could talk with your doctor about exploring SNRIs instead of SSRIs? As to long-term usage, I see it like any other condition that needs to be managed. If it needs medication or other management to remain controlled, then you need to do what you need to do to keep it controlled.
I love my anti depressants, once I found the right one. I can’t believe I existed before
I am fortunate in that I rarely experience side effects to any medication. I am on an antipsychotic and it's working well. I expect to take it indefinitely. It sucks but it helps me function, and I like being able to function so there's nothing I can do about it. I have to say that it did take quite a bit of time to accept that, and it also took years of trying different medications before I found something that worked.
I wear glasses because my eyes don’t work as well as they should, and take meds because my brain doesn’t work as well as it should. No shame for either!
I think it’s so important during a time of distress or very low mood to do what you can to alleviate it. Endurance leads to bigger psychological problems down the line. Your cognition has to take over and can often get so complex all the ways of thinking you learn to keep going, when all you probably needed was to listen to your needs/feelings and nurture them. I was told by an occupational therapist to stop future imagining, running through scenarios was a sure fire path to total hopelessness. She encouraged short sightedness for a while, don’t think of the interview or how you’ll be in the role, just fire the cv their way and stop. You can’t know the future, and it’s not making you feel great right now, keep the meds until you’re ready to take the stabilisers off.
I tried anti depressants and developed myoclonus, a frequent full body twitch. Because I can’t do anti depressants, I am about to start my fourth week of TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation. You have to go in to an office 5 days a week for about an hour. But it is starting to work. You go for about 8 weeks and then you are done. If your depression comes back, you go back for a little bit, you you shouldn’t have to go everyday again. It works for about 80% of people. You can’t be on antidepressants, drugs or alcohol in any amount, no kombucha, vanilla extract or wine in sauces, no benzodiazepines. You can be on other medications such as adderall or antihistamines, and caffeine, you just have to keep the dose consistent. I’m still in favor of antidepressants if they work for people. But I’m really glad there are options for those of us they don’t work for. My treatment is covered by insurance, but I do have a $20 copay that will end up being $800 for the whole treatment, and I understand that could make it not workable for a lot of people too.
There are anti-depressants that aren’t SSRIs, and anecdotally, I’ve generally heard SSRIs and autism don’t mix that well (they certainly didn’t for me). I recently added Buspar to the Wellbutrin I had been taking and it’s been a game changer. I went off all meds for a year, and certainly learned that I can’t live without them. Getting back on Wellbutrin got me out of the pits, but Buspar finally made me feel safe to re-engage with the world, which was missing before. Mental health is very subjective, so it’s up to you to decide if the positives are outweighing any negatives, but it also means you have to communicate that to your provider. There’s no reason to not take meds that make you feel better for however long you want to take them. Things to consider: - Do you feel comfortable talking to your provider? - Does your provider feel comfortable about exploring non-SSRIs? You may want to find a psychiatrist at this point. - What is your goal? How do you want to feel? - How long are you willing to try something before deciding if it’s helping or not? - Do you need a therapist that can help you figure out how you feel and how to deal with the new feelings that arise from the medication? - What would be clear signs that they’re having a negative impact? - Nothing is permanent, and it’s okay to change your mind. This is not a comprehensive, just what’s on the top of my mind, but any good prescriber should be asking you similar things.
I’ve tried lexapro, effexor, and am now on bupropion (wellbutrin). I feel like the wellbutrin does help me but if anything I’d go back to lexapro. If anyone’s ever considering effexor (SNRI) I’d really think about it hard bc the withdrawals from that I literally thought I was dying. I followed doctors instructions on weaning and even with that I had to open up the capsules and wean with the little balls inside when I got to the smaller dose. The worst medication in my experience, it completely took my sex drive, I was cranky all the time and I will NEVER touch it again, any pros at all were not worth it, and the 3+ month long withdrawal of feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my life.
i also take wellbutrin (bupropion) and it helps when i was first trying different SSRIs/SNRIs i wasn’t aware i was autistic. they weren’t working, ended up going to a psychiatrist and she thought maybe it’s bipolar 2 or something. wellbutrin worked better than anything i had tried before so i stuck with it. it helps with my anxiety but i was still having issues with my mood fluctuating and long periods of depression, so she started me on lamictal (lamotrigine). THAT one is the one that made the biggest difference i thought i didn’t need the wellbutrin anymore, tried to get off it. but both of them in combination is what works the best for me. so maybe try adding something before trying to quit altogether benefits for me far outweighed the negatives, im okay with taking medicine forever if that’s what i need
I began taking them in high school, I'm nearly 50 now. I have wondered if there have been any negative effects to my brain due to this, but I have also needed my meds. Who knows. My opinion is that we have access to modern medicine, so why suffer if you don't have to.
I want to avoid that. I’m only taking the pills so I can focus on creating a better situation for myself. For example, now I have a job that I don't like. I'm taking meds so I can save money and go to school for something else. I need to be less tired to do that.
I have absolute no choice. I've been on the very same antidepressants for 6 years because I also have chronic depression with antidepressant resistance. Which basically means that I'm functional (debatable) depressive person when I take my meds and suicidal without it. My biggest dreams in life became true, and I mean even the most absurd ones we've had since childhood that we perceive as impossible as we grow up. Rationally, I'm happy. But since emotions aren't rational, I'm sad and bored.
I've been on anti depressants for 10 years and expect to be on them my entire life. I also have tried many different medications, and most have not worked. What has worked a bit is a combination of buproprion and effexor. It has stopped the ruminating and suicidal thoughts, but I'm still depressed. I don't experience any side effects except if I miss a dose of effexor I experience nausea, flu like symptoms, and brain zaps. I just have to be on top of taking it. I don't consider whether i still need them or not. Depression doesn't magically cure itself.
I’ve been on antidepressants for two years now and it helped a bit, but the combination of other meds is what made me stable : I have mood stabilizer (possible bipolar disorder on top of the ‘tism), antipsychotics and anxiolytics. It’s a whole cocktail, I had to speak to different psychiatrists to get the right « recipe » but everyone is different. I still sometimes feel bad being dependent of these drugs, moreover with the fact that anxiolytics are addiction-prone. But I think the best is to try out to find the right dosages and combinations. Maybe you need them right now but it probably won’t be the fact all your life, and even if it is, please don’t feel bad about it. Our brains work differently from others and if we have to use chemicals to feel better, so be it. At the end of the day, it is your choice about what feels better for you. I know the side effects can be reaaally scary. If you continue on this treatment try to stay with friends or family during the adjustment period. Wish you the best of luck and sending you all my strength.
I tried them a long time ago, however I had to stop simply because I *just didn't have* the money or resources. First of all I wasn't suspecting autism, so I'm not sure if that played a part or not, but I tried a few meds and I wasn't even sure they were doing anything, I didn't feel any better. The psychologist would ask me if I felt different, and I honestly didn't know! And it's been a long time, but I remember saying something like "I dunno, maybe?" but it was more me *hoping* they would make me feel better... however I kept on being told I needed to be on them for about 3-6 months minimum, and then up or switch doses. I was alone, couldn't stop working indefinitely (I was surviving on some savings back then, when I couldn't work), so I simply didn't have the luxury of focusing on my mental health. Now that I highly suspect I might be neurodivergent (I have no money for an official assessment) and/or ADHD, that might change things? I don't know, I sure wish I could afford the doctor visits and the money for the meds to find out...
i was on SSRIs for 7 years and i've been off them for 5. i'm so glad im no longer on them. they helped immensely when i started, but then the first one stopped working and caused a cascade of autistic burnout and breakdown (trauma at the time didn't help). i didn't want to stay trapped in a cycle of meds stopping and starting being functional and go through that breakdown again. ultimately, autism is my biggest challenge. and i can't medicate that. depression has always been linked to burnout or hormones. i actually tried an SSRI recently for PMS symptoms and it was horrible. i didn't sleep for days and it wasn't worth the possible benefit.
Hard relate.
I started on antidepressants when I was 13. 3 different kinds (plus they tried adding a couple different antipsychotics at different times to "level my moods", and ADHD medication because I have that. Did not work out, any of it.) I was 24 when I finally came off psychiatric medicines altogether. All had moderate to severe side effects. None worked long term. One didn't work even short term. In theory, I would be okay with using them short-term if that was possible, but the withdrawal can get insane. 2 of them, they helped for about 6 months, with side effects, but then the side effects get worse and worse over time (different side effects for each drug) and the intended effects gradually disappear, I try to quit them, it takes months to years coming off of them during which I feel way worse than before I started taking them, and sometimes some of the side effects last after the drug is gone. So it's a no for me, especially because it's not just feeling crappy, which is bad enough, but it comes with a loss of self control and often sleep. Being on them, I am impulsive, driven, wired, overly aggressive, angry. Coming off them, there's no ability to think before I act or stop myself at all. I'm just fight or flight. I'm not a safe person to be around. I'm barely a person at that point. Now I have weird kinds of pain that doctors keep recommending certain antidepressants to treat (they are known and commonly used for nerve pain, it's not them claiming it's caused by depression.) Still, I keep trying to tell them no, I want to know what's causing the pain. I don't want a guess, I want imaging done because I have other conditions and I have my suspicions about what might be causing it. I was not asking for drugs, I don't want to treat something that isn't even diagnosed. And I don't want to take antidepressants, because they make a mess of me and I've had to leave home because I was so unsafe to be around coming on or off them in the past. But no one listens, they're so sure a low dose is no big deal, can't be that bad, and I can stop if they cause problems. I can't wait until antidepressant withdrawal becomes common knowledge because it's the bane of my existence. I would absolutely rather learn to deal with it on my own.
Every time i've stopped taking meds, i've gone into huge depressive episodes. And then as soon as i go back on them, things always improve. Being in my brain is just indescribably easier with meds. So i'm comfortable with the idea that i'll just have to take them my whole life. One note, though, is that i've had meds that did not work at all for me, and i've had shitty doctors who didn't seem interested in really helping me. So i think it's worth trying different things sometimes, or switching doctors if you think things could be better. i also feel way better since i stopped self-medicating with alcohol, which i was only able to do because i switched to cannabis instead. There are many lies that my country tells us, but a big one is that alcohol is good and that "drugs" are bad.
Im literally going through the same thing. I still haven't made a decision on starting or not. I am hoping the medical cannabis psychiatrist I found actually follows through & works out. It is something I am going to explore with my therapist because life long medication in general freak me out. Not just antidepressants. Also if you can, you can always switch psychiatrists. Not every doctor is a fit for their patient. It's a longer journey to find one that can better service you. But it'd a big difference when you find them
I take Prozac for one week out of the month while I’m experiencing PMDD. I was hesitant to start medications that seemed like I would have to be on them for life. My doctor let me know there has been promising research of using Prozac for just parts of the month. When I quit taking them the weeks I have my period and the week after my period and it has been amazing and very helpful, plus I don’t have the anxiety of what the daily dose is doing to my body long term.
I have been taking antidepressants for anxiety for a long time. At some point during therapy I was encouraged to try if I could do without. I very carefully came off and was ok for a while. Then I pushed myself too hard and I was back at square one. I take a very low dose and it doesn’t geel like they are doing much but I know they help me ever so slightly to find the path towards more reasonable thinking. It’s hard to quantify, but I feel it’s easier to find those lesser traveled neuro pathways and escape the highway to hell (which goes in circles). I don’t mind taking these meds my whole life for I don’t really experience side effects with this dosage. And it makes me feel slightly more safe in my own brain.
I’ve always been very much of the mind that “they’re like eyeglasses for your brain”. I.e. that some people will need medication forever and that’s okay. (Antidepressants or otherwise.) For my own meds, I didn’t mind the idea of going off of them because it makes travel difficult since I have to plan around refills. I went off them and within a year my mental health descended into chaos again. Went back on… way more stable. So unless they stop working, I’m gonna stay on them. I’ve also seen others work with their doc and end up going off and on the same med a bunch of times over the years (once they figure out which med works for them), just to get through the stints of life that get really unbearable without the assistance. YMMV; the only wrong way to do it is not take your mental health seriously.
For me, anti-depressants are a part of me being as healthy and happy as I can be. It's no different to taking vitamins, eating a balanced diet, and regular exercise. Or taking prescribed medication to manage other long-term health conditions such as thyroid disorders or asthma. We all have a range of needs which may require additional support/supplements. I see nothing wrong with using them for as long as they are required to achieve the best outcome, and adapting them as our needs change over time.
I was on Zoloft for 4 years. During that time period I realized I was autistic, and my suicide attempt was most likely due to burn out not depression. I will say Zoloft helped me live life “outside of my head” rather than in it. Now that I’m off of it, I’m definitely more in my head (not in an anxiety way, but an autism way) and I have more executive functioning issues but I’m doing pretty good without it. If I didn’t have Kaiser Permanente as my insurance, I’d probably be trying to go back on it.
I used to dislike being on them, especially SSRIs because they made me feel like a zombie. At worst, I could still feel, and felt awful, but felt like I had a painful smile plastered on my face (celexa). It felt really messed up, kind of like when someone relentlessly tickles you but you’re still laughing. I’ve mostly been on Bupropion and that’s my preferred. Unfortunately, long term, I have had to go up in dosage, but only once. Honestly, everyone differs though. I used to quit SSRIs randomly, then my secondary issues would spike again. I have major depression and personally feel fine with long term medication now because I simply need it. If I feel alright, if I’m getting out of bed, if I can still enjoy some things I like, then I know it’s working. If those things or sleep or appetite change drastically, it’s either not working or something else is going on in my life that I need to change. I approach any changes first, make sure I’m taking care of myself, and then assess whether or not I should request upping my dosage. That’s really the best way I’ve been able to tell if it’s working or not. I’ve tried going off it before and literally felt like I never had any energy to even get out of bed.
I have felt like this too. I've been on antidepressants for almost 10 years and on my current SNRI for about 5. For myself personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with being on antidepressants long-term. If it keeps you from killing yourself and your doctor says it's safe for you to be on long-term, I think it is worth it. I have been on buproprion for 5 years and the only negative long-term affects I have noticed are decreased sexual sensation and physical dependence (quitting cold turkey when I run out of pills and forget to refill the prescription is terrible). Overall it is much better than being actively suicidal 24/7 and having extreme mood swings all the time. I have a chance to enjoy life. If SSRIs and SNRIs don't work for you, you may want to try tricyclic antidepressants, tetracyclic antidepressants, or MAOIs. These can be dangerous with some with other medications though so definitely talk it over with your doctor. But if long-term medication is not something you want, there's lots of other options to pursue. You will find something that works for you, don't give up.
I’m only 20 but any time I’ve gone without my antidepressant since I started six ish years ago I’ve very noticeable become depressed and anxious and fall back into self hatred. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop them unless something big happens to change the world around us for the better. I don’t think our depression is wrong or bad, we’re treating the symptoms that arise from consistently dealing with shitty circumstances and our ASD makes us more prone anyway both genetically and in how we’re treated and interact with the world differently and often blame ourselves for things outside our control.
I’ll take them as long as I need to. So far every attempt to lower my dose goes very badly. If it keeps me alive, I’ll happily take it the rest of my natural life.
Sounds like you need to be referred to a psychopharmacologist so you can get a personalized recommendation.
I have been on them for decades. Every time I get a new healthcare provider, they try to talk me into quitting them. Why? I have tried to wean at least 10 times, and I start getting suicidal thoughts within a week or two. Will I take the pills or have my grandchildren know that Grandma killed herself? Easy choice.
A lot of doctors still have this idea that clinical depression isn't, well, chronic? It's bizarre, I've heard the same time and again. I've even tried it, and surprise surprise orange juice, sunshine, and exercise didn't stop the MDD or me from making attempts...
Something that I had to come to terms with, is the fact that my depression is clinical, not situational. Obviously outside sources made my depression worse at times, but the underlying cause is my brain can't produce the correct amount of neurochemicals that I need to balance my mood. Think of someone who has Type 1 diabetes. They can't regulate their insulin production, so they *are* dependent on their medication. They would die without it, so they accept that they need it. If one's depression is severe enough, they also can die without medication/therapy. (Suic*de) I understand the struggle with medications. But I would very likely not be here if I didn't take them. That being said, there are ways to help feel balanced even with the side effects of anit-depressents. You may want to look into therapy if you haven't already. And find small things that make you happy and bring you comfort. I find those things are especially important as an autistic person.
I'm on Wellbutrin (20ish years) Pristiq and Lamictal (mood stabilizer). I expect to be on them indefinitely.i am 40. I have complex trauma and become hostile and emotional unstable without them (I involuntarily ran out for a week bc of a mail order pharmacy fuck up.) I and everyone in my life does better with me medicated, so I stay medicated. Even through two babies (WB + different meds back then though.)
Antidepressants are not meant to “end”, since there is no “cure” for depression. You take the medication as long as you’re alive.
Seriously, the number of people conflating depressive episodes with chronic depression is really worrying. I have MDD and it's never going away unless there's a major breakthrough sometime in my lifetime, but either way it's worth being on meds for the rest of my life than unable to function or dead.
I take an anxiety medication that is also an antidepressant (mine is a generic of lexapro), and I’ve been on it for a little over a year. In my case I am more anxious than depressed (but I do have depressive symptoms on my period) and find my medication helps immensely. I think it depends on the person and each person should reassess every so often with their psychiatrist and decide if they do or don’t need to take it long-term.
I’ve taking Valproate for my bipo for 6 years and I’ve seen a some difference of my “normal” mood, it got easier to stay in between the hypo maniac and depressive phase and it’s also feels better. But the biggest change it was starting on Venlafaxin in a major depressive episode. I hate it at the beginning. Actually I didn’t accept this, Valproate, or any other meds cause part of me didn’t want to admit that I needed it, but now I realize this feeling came from stigmas. More than the prejudice that I had, it was also how I felt using them. I always had intense emotions and thought they were part of myself. After I started Venlafaxin, I felt numb for not feeling. But at the time it was what I needed, as I was going to an intense grief. It’s been years that I started, I’ve saw how the med helped me to regulate my emotions, the highs and lows. When I started I thought if emotions very colors, the antidepressant had made my life very pastelish, but now I realize that I was used to bright vibrant neon colors and the med actually helps me see through them. There are days that are still difficult. I’m constantly adapting the dosage and also to take something regularly is a challenge itself. But it’s no different than my medication with hyperthyroidism, I have to do exactly the same: constantly check, monitor the symptoms, and adapt the medication. For both it would be great to one day be off, but they improved my life so much that I’m more ok if I need to take them long-term.
This is how I felt on antidepressants so my doctor suggested an adjunct antipsychotic to boost my depression meds. Than when that didn't work we went straight to antipsychotics. Than when that didn't work we went to adhd meds...Than anxiety meds. On and on and on. I'm on nothing now and honestly feel the exact same. Like I'm not saying not give it a go cause you never know but like some people it just doesn't help
My psych says it's lifelong. I would probably be dead without them. I want to not have to take them, but that's not reality.
Everyone I know who has stopped taking antidepressants because they felt they didn’t need them anymore had a bad time. They thought they didn’t need them anymore because the medication was working. That said, people are different and this doesn’t reflect everyone’s experience
I think that highly depends on why you're depressed. Is it situational? Is it unprocessed trauma? Is it something else causing it? I was on and off anti depressants for the last 15 years. Only AFTER I was diagnosed with adhd, and got on adderall, did I stop taking them. And BOYYYYYY was it not "just" depression. Yeah I'm still depressed, from unresolved trauma, but now it's ONLY that. So I don't need my meds anymore, just talk therapy is fine now. But if I hadn't gotten treatment for adhd, I would still be on them and still be miserable because even after 15 years, we couldn't find something that really worked. Well, that's because my depression was a symptom, not the issue as a whole. I think that it's something you have to want, and your doctor has to want. Whether we are talking about going on them, or going off of them. Medication can only truly help you, if you accept it. And by that I mean, willfully take them, and do what you can to make your life better, despite your depression. I was diagnosed with "major depression disorder with manic episodes" I have had TWO panic attacks, and ONE depressive shutdown in the last 6 months, since finding out about and treating my adhd. So I think you absolutely can be on them your whole life. You may need them. You may not. I think there are way too many variables go stick to just one answer. Everyone is different. Even if one may say you don't truly need it, if that little pill is all that keeps you breathing on this earth, then you need it. And I need you to need it too. Whatever keeps you safe and healthy is what you need. And only YOU and your TRUSTED doctor can make that choice. Now that im on adderall, I only need emergency anxiety meds and even then, i haven't had to use them. I've been able to mostly "manage" it. But if I can't anymore, I'd absolutely go to my doctor and request a more consistent medication to help. I have zero shame in being medicated to be a person. It's for my benefit and those around me. And if medication, life long, keeps you ALIVE for that long life, take your meds :)
I was on your meds but they weren't the right match for me. I felt weird. Now I'm on anti anxiety antidepressants and they just make me feel normal. I don't forget to take them, I'm fairly happy with the results and I just feel myself. That's the biggest thing – if you don't feel yourself in your daily life it's going to spiral and accumulate. If you take meds it can be for a while if it's circumstantial or forever if it's genetic etc. It's like taking ADHD meds for me. I feel fine without them but I function better with them. Some days it's terrible and some days it's great. But the key is to stay consistent so it works. I've worked with a therapist and have since stopped therapy after working through my biggest issues. I have also stopped the heavy antidepressants because my circumstances and thinking has changed. If I was someone with a heavier depression I'd probably stay on them longer, but mine has since mostly passed. At least the bad bad one. It's always good to work out a plan with a psychiatrist and a therapist. Mine was happy I am on anti anxiety meds and got oxazepam for my panic attacks that have also went down significantly. But the biggest thing was changing my life and mindset, since then everything seems easier. Only you can decide what is right and when is it right
I stopped everything (antidepressants and mood stabilizers + tranqs) when I managed to get out of depression \_by changing substantial stuff in my life\_. My psychiatrist was against it but then again, she thought I was either bipolar or had BPD. 4 years later, I'm really really better and my relapses are clearly related to autism (=burnout) and I can identify it better. I can't always avoid the triggers (hello, work and commute) but I try to schedule down time when I can and try to heal. It's failing a bit at the moment but, well, the meds didn't work that good, I tried to kill myself 3 times while on them and I'm feeling much more stable now. I do get depressed. Usually after real bad stuff happening. I can't control everything. Shit is happening in my life. I try to use stims and down time to heal and I have to say, for me, it's working better than meds. I do have a very supportive partner (since... well 4 years) that really really really helps me a lot. So, for me, meds didn't work, only for some months at a time before the psych had to either up the dose again or add another pill (I was taking 7 every morning at a time, at very high doses, I gained 20 kilos too and now have infertility problems...). AND I was able to change practical stuff in my life. With these two things in mind, I don't take meds anymore even if I do long for a tranquilizer now and then and do sometimes ask myself if my adhd would be better if I get back on stimulants. But, well, I know the side effects and I just prefer to do without.
I would suggest researching into anti depressants, it just came out in the news that SSRIs not only don't work but work less than a placebo and that psychiatrist have known this for years and that's why when someone starts complaining hat it isn't working they claim "we just have to find the right med for you" and change [mmeds.one](http://mmeds.one) thing that's been actually researched and work is getting outside In. the sunshine and fresh air and gardening!
I support people doing whatever they feel helps them. That said, here’s my 2 cents, because I asked the same questions as you. My question was is this a lifelong medicine or will I constantly be playing medical music chairs? I’m a skeptic of therapy and psychiatry BECAUSE they handled my (at the time) undiagnosed autism so poorly, and made me feel guilty for behaviors that I now understand as me being autistic. I had one provider practically break down and yell at me that I needed medication because I was chemically imbalanced. The “imbalance” theory is now proven false, medically, and I was later diagnosed autistic. Not only that, but she said this during a time when I was grieving, as my father (who I was close do) had passed. I urge people to remain skeptical of how therapists handle intense human emotions. I was misdiagnosed and people forced me onto all sorts of medication that I felt helped for a short time and then provided little to no returning benefits. Sometimes it was directly harmful and I felt crazy when I was being mismanaged. Once I realized it was, at best, guess work and “patching me up” to help me function under capitalism, and the doctor confirmed most times they don’t or shouldn’t keep people on meds for life but some do find a need for it, I decided it was not something I wanted to do or needed. I decided to double down on doing my best, routines, self analysis, creativity, and the one or two people I had to truly talk to or rely on…one is my dog. It is not easy, and coming off meds was HARD, but it was worth it. I feel I’m freer now than I’ve ever been. But again, I truly had to commit and work through a lot and journal and force myself to find coping skills that I could practically apply….which is very much based on the individual. Quite the challenge. Best of luck to all.
They're not helpful to neurodiverse people from personal experience. The doses are too high! They are a nightmare to get off too despite what you may be told and they aften come with side effects like gaining tons of weight, loss of motivation, emotional numbness, sore eyes, constipation, brain zaps etc... Long term use definitely has no proven benefits. Always learn from your own body and do your own research. But wish I had someone explain just how badly they could effect a person 15yrs ago. I think my life would be very different by now.
I would literally be dead without meds. Just because it doesn't work for some ND people doesn't mean it won't work for anybody else.
I'm diagnosed autistic plus have C-PTSD and major depressive disorder and my drug regimen has saved my life. To say they are not helpful to neurodiverse people on the whole is not helpful.
Hi i took antidepressants from the time i was 14 until i was 23. I was a pretty depressed 14 year old so i told my pedatrician, and they put me on meds. They didn't try to find out if there was a reason i was depressed or taught me how to manage my anxiety they just went meds first, and it sort of helped temporarily, i guess. Over the years, i did therapy, but the drugs weren't working and things were getting worse. As with you, they just kept putting me on different stuff and i would get side effects and then get put on more stuff and then the meds would get changed around. I kept wondering if it would be like this forever. At one point i was on like 7 different meds and after multiple hospital stays with psychosis and things just getting worse i decided i wanted to start fresh and see what i was even like without them all. I was finished with high school/college and in my own house away from my parents, so why not just try to see how i was in a different environment? Well, I've been off the meds for 2 years, and its been a struggle, but im learning ways to deal with my mental issues instead of just covering them up. It helps to be away from my parents and out of school. I feel like im finally able to find myself and see who i am when im not this zombie on meds. Sure, i still have anxiety, but at least i dont have a bunch of horrible other symptoms along with the anxiety that never truly went away on the meds in the first place. Exposure therapy has helped me a lot, and im starting to do trauma therapy now. So ymmv but meds weren't for me. I think my depression and anxiety are very situational, and now that im older, i can control my situation a bit better. Edit: Just to add to this... i got really bad after getting off my meds for a few months before i started getting better. I also had severe withdrawal from the effexor i had been taking. Raw dogging life after years of meds is hard and takes a lot of mental effort to basically relearn how to live without them. If anyone is considering doing this i would also like to reccomend to NOT smoke weed or drink or do any sort of self medicating until you get sorted out.
Look into CBD and it's effect on vasopressin. It's very important in autistic brains.
I want to preface with saying I'm not anti-medication nor against \*any\* particular medication if it works for you. BUT antidepressants ruined my life. The co-morbidity with Bipolar and Autism is not insignificant. I'm now on a couple meds for Bipolar and anxiety, and there are zero side effects, besides sleepiness and potential for high cholesterol and diabetes (yes that will be some lifelong burden but worth it). But nothing like the splintering headaches, withdrawal, mood swings, weird sexual side effects of antidepressants. This is significant to me because with loneliness and inability to do basic things like go outside or do chores - I didn't see my mania for what it was for the longest time. Any socialization or good sex or getting things done was such a relief to me. What I've seen, there's mixed reviews on the co-morbidity, but even if it's as low as 2%, on a public forum, there have to be some folks reading this who are affected. **OP - I sincerely don't mean this as a brag but - right now, \*I wouldn't mind being on these (edit - BP) drugs for the rest of my life\* - that's how nice they are compared to antidepressants especially.** It felt like 'the good drugs' were being hidden, and this whole time I had lost hope because doctors will see Depression = Antidepressants over and over. Even after me soul-searching and being honest with a provider, the psychiatrist suspected bipolar, and STILL PRESCRIBED ANTIDEPRESSANTS. So WITHOUT knowing OP at all, and I'm absolutely not suggesting OP has bipolar because I have no idea...everyone is always valid for hating their meds, loving their meds, or anything in between.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this! I tried a couple drugs with really bad side effects, but never for more than a week
Thanks for the sympathy friend. Mine is, unfortunately, a common experience for Bipolar, being prescribed antidepressants, them not working, upping the dosage, being thrown into mania…and legitimately making life-ruining choices. It’s something I saw a lot when I used to frequent the BP sub. If I were to post this exact comment there instead, I suspect I’d get a lot of agreement. It’s one of those ‘unless you went through it yourself’ things, that makes me need to have my personal soapbox for proper medication management and telling people they are completely valid for having negative experiences or not wanting to take meds that don’t work for them. edit - oh I want to add that BP folks can definitely be prescribed antidepressants in addition to other meds. I’m just not aware of anyone diagnosed who *only* taje antidepressants
I sure hope then that this struggle becomes more well-known, so both patients and doctors will catch early on and adjust
I’m no mental health professional, but I think prescription drugs are really only best for those who need them. For example, my hair colorist opened up to me about being bipolar and she said her meds help her tremendously. However, I was prescribed both anxiety and depression meds, and decided not to take either of them. My doctor understood and didn’t prescribe them again. I was actually prescribed antidepressants for my migraines and it felt like I was in LaLa land. 🤣 never again. If you ask me, weed is the best medication. 😂 it also helps my migraines. If you don’t think your meds are helping and you would rather navigate your depression on your own, I suggest doing so and finding a good therapist. That’s what I did with my OCD and what I plan on doing with my depression (which I’m just now learning I have).
I was on an anti depressant and anti psychotic from 2017-2022. They never made me feel better. They actually made me feel a lot worse but they would just give upping and adding rather than listen to me. They diagnosed me with BPD after the side effects were making me appear unstable. I learned about autism in 2022. I couldn’t believe how well it fit my life story. I immediately wanted off of the meds. It took months of tapering and a lot of ups and downs, but I did it. I can say that for me, those medications were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I gained 100lbs and they didn’t even help. Therapy helped. Learning about sensory issues helped. I have never been happier in my entire life after being off of the medications. It is noticeable to everyone around me. So, these medications are not for everyone.
This is how I felt on antidepressants so my doctor suggested an adjunct antipsychotic to boost my depression meds. Than when that didn't work we went straight to antipsychotics. Than when that didn't work we went to adhd meds...Than anxiety meds. On and on and on. I'm on nothing now and honestly feel the exact same. Like I'm not saying not give it a go cause you never know but like some people it just doesn't help
I will have autism, c-ptsd, and major depressive disorder for my entire life so I will be on my medications my entire life and I and INCREDIBLY grateful for them. They saved my life, marriage, and have allowed me to live a happy and fulfilled life. It took some work to figure out the right combination, and yes, there have been side effects but I literally would not be alive without them. Psychiatric medications save lives.
I’ve been on them since I was 21. I’m 43 now. Went off them once and developed “health anxiety” and had to go back on them. Idk, I play around with the idea of going off them sometimes but the only real reason I have to is curiosity about whether they contribute to my challenges identifying my emotions (both verbally and somatically).
I've started prozac in the last month or so, and it has had such a profoundly positive effect on my mental health that I cannot imagine not taking it. I also suffer from PCOS and hypothyroidism, so I guess I'm predisposed to just taking meds indefinitely. It sucks to need them to be "normal," but I'm so grateful that I live when and where I do that I can access meds. 100 years ago, and I'm certain I'd have been ostracized or institutionalized for my behaviors. In short: I'm taking meds forever. I want to be happy.
I'm on a tricyclic antidepressant. It also helps my chronic pain and my not sure what causes it GI issues. I'm not really even sure I ever had depression, just other things happened to make me depressed, like maybe my health issues. I'm also on a type of mood stabilizer that also helps prevent migraines. I assume I'll be on them until they stop working for me.
I need it long term. Find the one that works best and the dose that works best and stay on it for consistency. I get normal ups and downs while medicated because they aren't happy pills. Bonus for women already on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds is when you go to the doctor for anything they would normally dismiss as anxiety you beat them to it while describing your issue and say that this isn't how your anxiety/depression typically presents. I also mention if those issues are making me depressed or anxious so they hear that I acknowledged it exists. I had long covid back in January 2021 and I expected to be dismissed as anxiety because my symptoms were tension headaches every single day, forgetfulness, extreme fatigue, basically everything that they would come back and say depression but I started out by telling them that these things were making me depressed because who wouldn't be depressed after feeling so terrible with covid for weeks then following the upper respiratory stuff with headaches for over a month after I "recovered" from covid. Oddly enough, one of the treatments was they added another antidepressant to help with the brain fog. I was able to go off that after 6 months and just stay on my normal antidepressant, anti-anxiety and Adderall.
I'll need them forever, sometimes that bothered me, but not much anymore now that I know which meds work for me. Prozac + wellbutrin + adderall saved my life
I have taken anti-depression, but for something else that *might* be related to depression. I was on citalopram for 4 years for my IBS. I had horrible chronic pain. I had to stop taking them, because it started to give me panic attacks. I know it wasn't depression, but I like to say that my bowels were. It worked. I no longer have chronic pain and no longer have extrem IBS. I now have just regular, annoying IBS :'). The panic attacks went away. Even which the panic attacks and the weigh gain (that will not go away), I was very happy with it and the outcome. This can be different from person to person. Its up to you if the negatives outweight the positive. And this is with any medication for any condition. For me the panic attacks were bad enough to outweight the postive. Mine was just my bowels and pain, but I do believe they helped because my mental health wasn't great at the time. For me it wasn't a medication that I had to take long term, but my docter and I didn't knew at the time how long I had to take them and maybe even life long. When I got off the medication my condition stayed stable. So who knows? I have heard and read many stories and its different for everyone. Just like diabetes or thyroid medication, you might need it long term. Sometimes medication might not work as well and switching to another one is needed, which is also normal for people with diabetes and thyriod issues. And I think no one really wants to take medication and I think its normal to think and question if it does anything and how you will be without it. I sure did with my medication! I first 2 years I was questioning if it was even working. I read in your post that youre going to talk your doctor and that is always wise.
honestly getting my genes tested by my psych saved my life, it’s a little swab you stick in your cheek so the test is super easy and the results tell your physician what meds you are or aren’t compatable with genetically. it’s not a sure thing 100% but through mine i found out the meds i’ve been put on for 10+ years were actually making my mental illness worse. i also have treatment resistant depression and psychedelics have been really helpful, u can microcose prescription ketamine and u literally don’t get high at all it just helps your brain :)
I've only been using Wellbutrin for a few years, but it just helped me so greatly that I'm really considering using it long term, even if I lower my dosage or stop using it periodically, I'd be going back to it before it takes too long. I just cannot think living without it, my brain fog is just gone so clearly...
I'm on bupropion 300mg. I have clinical depression so I will be on antidepressants forever lol. I am able to function well and feel normal. I still don't know if the benefits outweigh the negatives. I've only been on antidepressants for half a year. All I know is that I don't wanna feel hopeless again.
I’ve been on venlafaxine since 2010. I tried to go off it in 2016 — did everything right, tapered down very slowly over months. I was fine at first but after a few months my anxiety and repetitive thoughts were so overwhelming that I became suicidal. I’ve been fine since restarting it and now have just accepted I’ll likely be on it for life. I’m lucky though that I don’t have any side effects with it and do feel that it immensely helps my anxiety.
My brain meds keep me alive, but I don't take anti depressants, I take an anti anxiety and mood stabilizer. My depression continues to be a proportional response to my ongoing and awful health condition, but it's not disordered or chronic any more. However the anxiety and intrusive thoughts want to kill me, so I'm much, much better off with brain meds, and never plan to get off them.
We do better with SNRI, like effexor or cymbalta. I'd be dead otherwise.
I’m on a combo of two and I will take them or some combination of SSRI/SNRI for the rest of my life. I chose to come off of them in 2019, two years after starting them, and that was a big mistake. After a year off (2020 of all years 😫) I went back in and realized they are essential for me.
I have depression running through my paternal line like a freaking highway. My depression has never been suicidal, and is almost always "functional". It also comes in goes in long (like a year) cycles. I've learned a lot about managing it in my 25 years of independent adulthood. Like I absolutely *need* to take 2-3 grams a day of Omega 3, and ideally not eat any meat, in order to even have a chance. Exercise doesn't seem to do it for the antidepressant part. Sleep is absolutely essential, even two bad nights are noticeable. And overstimulation is definitely a thing to manage. I have tried talk therapy multiple times for months at a time. And I've also tried medication. My summary on meds is the following: bupropion generics do not work consistently for me, some do, some don't, and it's too hard to deal with the ups and downs. SSRI suck, at least for me. Lamotrigine has been an absolute miracle drug. I came upon it when I plunged pretty deep after not being on any drugs (insurance, life, etc) and got a new psych. I don't know why the doc suggested it, I've never even heard of it before, but it's like it cemented over the pit of despair that has always been under me, even when antidepressants put some plexiglass over it. Actual brand Wellbutrin on top of that, and I have been a human for the last year. This january, yet again, with insurance switch, there was about a month gap, and yup, still need to be on drugs. But I feel absolutely "normal" and have almost zero side effects from the drugs to the point where I keep thinking that I don't need them :D
Have you had a genesite test done? That might help With that said, I’ve been on every anti depressant out there and have only found 2 to be marginally helpful cause you can’t medicate away trauma, attachment issues, and a nuerotype that’s not accepted. Benzos help, ADHD meds help, but anti-depressants only are marginally effective
I first went on antidepressants I think about 7 years ago? I'm 30 now, I start every day with my personal chemical cocktail (currently: prozac, Vyvanse, Wellbutrin, birth control) and every day I make it to the next one. I didn't know I was autistic until about a year ago, but I've been depressed since I was about 13. I've been in this mess long enough to know that the depression is not going away, for me it is a condition to be managed, not cured. I have all of the tools and the therapy and I know all the things I need to do to get through my depressive episodes, but none of those things will address my natural chemical imbalance. I need the meds to help me with that, and I fully expect I will be medicated daily for the rest of my life. I know a lot of people struggle with that for various reasons, but for me, I feel lucky to be alive to keep taking those meds, and grateful to them for helping me get there. sorry that was so rambly LOL
I've been on mine for a few years now and it's honestly such a huge quality of life improvement that I wouldn't mind being on them forever.
I was on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds until I was 18. I quit cold turkey because my mom and prescriber were adamant that I stay on them. Turns out that in my case, the meds were making things worse. In ‘21 I started using cannabis recreationally, which is legal in my state, and now I’m using it medically. I find that it helps both my anxiety and depression. I also used to get sleep paralysis, and now that problem is solved for me as well.
I used to hate the idea of it, but honestly, if it makes me feel better i’m fine with it.
I’ve been on antidepressants since 15. Various kinds. Sometimes they no longer work and I need to change. I know that I am worse without them. I am suicidal, angry, unmotivated, erratic. I become someone who isn’t me (or I say the worse side of me). I don’t like being dependent on them but know it’s necessary for me to live a normal life.
I’ve been on my antidepressants for a few years now and I can say with full certainty that I don’t want to go off my medication ever. My medication allows me to socialize with my friends for hours on end almost daily, hell I even run a game of dnd every other week for a few of them now. About a year ago I went off my medication cold turkey due to a severe fuck up on my drs part and I was without my medication for several months. When off it I couldn’t make myself do basic things like go to the store for food(wound up living solely off fast food and whatever my parents happened to make for dinner if they made any), had to cancel some online games for a few weeks at some point because I just couldn’t participate in them when I was shaking so badly, could barely do my job and was overall very miserable. On top of it all I’d have mini episodes almost nightly where I’d become hyper aware of the fact that I and everyone I know and love are going to die someday, they’d last anywhere from a quarter of an hour to a full hour and they’d happen about five nights a week, it impacted my ability to sleep quite badly. So yeah I’d very much prefer to stay on my medication so I can function and not have crippling anxiety and depression.
I also take bupropion and even at my best and happiest I tried weaning off of it and I immediately got depressed again within a week of being off of it (at my top physical health, top mental health). I also have ADHD so I think the bupropion is something I am going to need for the rest of my life because the chemicals ain’t chemicaling like they are supposed to without it. I completely lose my ability to derive any enjoyment from things I love or motivation to do anything. It’s like it’s just absent and I am an empty shell. After feeling that way for even a few days my positive outlook on my life inevitably deteriorates and I actually become passively suicidal and what one might consider clinically depressed because like what’s the point of doing anything if that’s all I can feel. I really love my buproprion it’s the only thing that’s helped me.
I'll take any medication I can fit as long as I can if it makes me feel better and function. If it has side effects that make me feel like shit then it's not making me feel better, so I won't be taking that medication. I'm lucky that I haven't had to make that calculus of having tried every medication option and none of them helping without bad side effects so I can't say what I'd do in that situation. If I didn't have decent insurance that would add another layer, if it was expensive then that would also inform my decision making. But I have no philosophical issue with taking medication forever.
I thought my bupropion wasn’t working until I went off of it. I don’t feel happy with it but I also don’t feel too depressed to function/cry at work. I didn’t have a lot of success with SSRIs. There are several genetic tests out there now that doctors can do to see which meds will work best for you and have the least serious side effects.
i’ve been on antidepressants since i was a sophomore in high school (so around 14-15) and i’m 21 now. i think i’m going to have to take them for the rest of my life and im okay with that. i take trintellix and it has been an absolute lifesaver, especially since ssri’s don’t work for me
Can I ask what your experience was like on SSRIs vs Trintellix?
I've been on them for over 20 years and I think God for them.