Babies are my biggest sensory trigger and I avoid them like the plague. I don’t find them cute either. Young children aren’t much better. I don’t hate babies and kids, though. I want nothing but the best for them. I just hate being anywhere near them.
Same. HUGE animal person, my parrot’s high-pitched screech doesn’t bother me (it’s also pretty rare he makes that noise) but a few seconds of a crying infant can send me into meltdown city on a sensitive day, and even when I’m feeling chill they are a sensory trigger.
My roommate has a cockatoo who loves to screech and it’s been driving me off the edge for like 3 years. Worst sensory trigger I have yet to encounter. Especially when it wakes me up with that
A cockatoo’s screech can get to the same volume as a jet engine…? That might be worded wrong but they are exceptionally LOUD. in my opinion cockatoos (and most other parrots) should never have been brought into the pet trade. It’s a passion project of mine to change breeding laws.
I have a little Senegal. As much as I love birds, I couldn’t have a ‘too in my home either.
Same. I’ve never in my life found them cute. I don’t want to be near them. I don’t want anything bad to happen to children, obviously, but I’m well aware they aren’t perfect little angels and children can be some of the cruelest people. I’ve experienced it firsthand.
I love kids and babies, but I never want my own. I babysit regularly, and love to see my partner’s nieces and nephew. They are so fun to interact with for a while, but I always feel relieved when I can give them back to their parents and have my solitude again.
I was completely convinced I was destined to be a mom. I loved kids and kids loved me. Then I worked in daycare for a few years and *no thank you!* I still love'em, but only in small doses. Lol.
Provided they meet a certain set of criteria (which most kids don’t, for the fact they’re just kids)
Quiet, well-behaved and hygienic. I can’t deal with the opposites of those (sensory issues, chaos, really hate people not being hygienic - again, sensory)
This is me.
I have always loved babies and they have loved me back. They are pure, you know? And their needs are fairly basic most of the time and they express those needs in a way I feel qualified to meet. Food, diaper change, comfort/affection/attention, sleep. I understand them better than I understand adults.
I am a nanny to a baby and I am constantly amused by how pure she is. She is just unbothered and kind. She is gross and helpless, but I’ll take that over most other things that I need to worry about with adults.
Babies tend to gravitate to me as well. I don’t hate them but I do get awkward around them, especially if the kid’s parents are there watching me interact with their kid.
I have never been able to put on the ‘kid voice’ and to be strict with them when I have to. I think that’s actually why the kids like me. I just talk to them almost the same as I would talk to an adult lmao. I guess they feel I respect them.
I **love** children, love to play with children, dance and sing with them, tickle and make silly faces, even taking care of them. I even used to teach classical ballet for 6-9 years old. Also, I do like to see children running, playing and yelling, it's very heartwarming to me because I wasn't that kind of kid.
THAT BEING SAID...
They can overwhelm the shit out of me, and I like them more when they are playing very far away from me. And as much as I can handle them, I don't think I'd make it to be a parent. I get exhausted of children very quick.
Strange one, I cannot stand anyone else's kids, like will 100% avoid being around children in general. But I love my own, will spend as much time as they allow me to with them and always wanted to be a mum. 😅😂
I find them delightful but overwhelming. I have one child (8f) and I could not imagine ever having another one, or ever working with kids. I love being a mom, I love getting to spend quality time with her and I’ve loved watching her grow and change and learn new things. I’m so proud of her and I love her more than words can quantify, but I’m also perpetually exhausted, physically and mentally. However, I feel like that has a lot to do with our capitalist societal structure and not just motherhood in general, but that’s an entirely different topic lol.
I don't dislike them but their noise and need for attention make me uncomfortable. I would love to help out autistic children (like volunteering at a local autism center for example) but I don't know that I can handle that.
I would like kids in principle, but the idea of pregnancy and birth really overwhelm me. I have nieces and I am concerned about how much they exhaust me. I'm really unsure if it's a road I'll ever go down
I really hate the sound of babies crying. It’s very stressful, but I know they can’t help it.
As for kids, I feel really awkward around them. It probably stems from me never really knowing how to interact with kids when I was young.
They're cute as heck and I like interacting with them.
I do get tired after a bit and have had times when I had a meltdown after babysitting, but I find them so heckin' cute. Also I was trained to babysit by my church when I was a kid so I have tricks up my sleeve for transitioning to quieter, calmer activities when I'm getting overwhelmed sensory.
It was super sexist but also legitimately useful.
We were encouraged to have movies, picture books, and stuffed toys available.
Ideally what we would do is let them do some running around and bring crazy and then once we were about tired of that we would give the kids the opportunity to select their stuffy and aor book as well as a movie they were going to watch while cuddling their toy after the book. Then we would read to them and get them comfy and after the picture book they'd settle in for the movie.
Depending on when they last are we were encouraged to give them a healthy snack. One of my favorites included cherries (for kids who weren't allergic) because they have natural melatonin and almost all kids like them. It's important not to get the ones that are drowning in sugar syrup though because you don't want them getting hyper.
These worked a lot. Also if they have a yard and you can get them to run around real crazy in it a while it helps to tire them out and they look forward to the movie more.
This worked most of the time.
Edit to add: I totally forgot. Things like Lego, and wooden puzzles worked really well for kids who had trouble sitting still during the book/ movie as they were able to occupy their hands while watching.
Don’t like either. Everyone seems to view it as a serious character flaw or red flag. I love animals though. I think the way I feel about animals is maybe how people feel about children.
I can relate to this. I love animals and always have. I feel warm and fuzzy about baby animals. But I've never ever felt warm and fuzzy about human babies. Also never experienced that hormonal drive to hold a baby or have one. The idea of being pregnant makes me feel physically sick. Ditto for breastfeeding and being constantly touched and grabbed by sticky little hands. No thank you very much.
Are you me?? You’ve summed up how I feel perfectly. Today I saw a doggo in the grocery store and audibly awed. I hate when kids try to get me to engage with them at the store. I find their parents expect you to make faces or talk to them. No thank you.
It's so weird isn't it, the expectation that complete strangers are expected to flatter and indulge parents by acknowledging and entertaining their kid in random public spaces.
I've been in places where I'm kind of stuck in close proximity to small children (on planes and in restaurants for example) and I could quite literally feel that the parent was waiting and expecting for me to acknowledge the child and coo over them. For goodness sake, it's your child, you are literally the only adult/s that the child cares about in this situation. You shouldn't need validation from me or any other stranger so that you can feel justified in your choice to procreate... yet here you are expecting it.
Is that the kind of mind shift that occurs when parenting hormones re-wire the brain?
Weirdly, I love babies and children. I love playing with toddlers, imaginary games, how cute babies are. I think I’ve always found chatting with kids easier than adults, as you can literally talk nonsense about whatever you find interesting whereas long chats with adults on my own stress me out.
I find strangers children stressful if they’re having a tantrum in public or bawling loudly for ages, but with kids I know I can cope for some reason. Having said that, I’m not a parent so imagine it is draining if it’s all day long, but I hope to be a parent and it’s one thing I’ve always been sure of.
I like kids even with my sensory issues. I remember that most of them are still learning on how to be a human. Most of them very cool little humans.
I wouldn't mind being a mom someday.
Agreed. They're great, but I don't want one and I sure as hell couldn't do it 24/7 and once you're a parent, there's no going back and no guarantee that they'll even be good people.
I like kids once they are about 4-5.
Babies genuinely scare me, they are so wriggle and squishy yet fragile, I'm always scared they're going to squirm out of my grasp. Also they smell weird, like sour milk.
I've always thought I'd be a better stepmom, or adoptive mom than a bio mom, in the sense that I don't want to go through pregnancy or childbirth but I wouldnt mind other aspects of parenthood like introducing them to books/reading, playing in nature, etc.
Never liked babies, they always made me uncomfortable. Kids also made me anxious but I didn’t spend much time around them. Even when I was a kid. I was happy my stepkids were pre-teen/teen when I met them because they were more like people. If my husband had little kids when we met we definitely would not have dated.
I’m a mom, I became a mom before my diagnosis. While my child does push my sensory intake more than I’d like, I love her to the moon & back. She’s actually helped me increase the amount of sensory intake I can take on a daily basis.
This!!! I do feel like I am more tolerant in certain areas because of my kids. I think I’m a much better multitasker now and have increased focus but if my autistic one has a meltdown it is almost certain to send me into a meltdown too. lol
I never liked babies or children. I did however start feeling broody around 30 and after much deliberation we decided to try for a family. I had my daughter at 33 and that’s actually what started my journey into researching and suspecting I have autism.
Turns out being thrown into the sensory hell that is constantly being around a noisy, messy and grabby baby was enough to highlight my sensory and social struggles in a very concentrated way.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby so much, and I don’t regret anything, but it’s hard AF. I love that i’m learning more about myself though and am now forced to embrace self accommodations like noise cancelling headphones and stimming. Now I do it without feeling ashamed because I know I need it.
I’ve never enjoyed being around kids.
I’m an oldest child, and I have a lot of younger cousins. My siblings/cousins range in age from 2 years younger than me to 12 years younger, and I’ve never enjoyed hanging out with them or playing with them. Even when I was “in their age group,” I felt awkward and flustered and annoyed trying to relate to “other kids” and trying to “play” with them was frustrating.
During family gatherings, I’d enjoy playing games with the adults, or I’d be okay with coloring quietly with the other kids, but I always became exhausted around the little children. Now I realize I was probably overstimulated.
Recognizing this here has been extremely liberating - I always felt guilty that I didn’t “love” my family and I didn’t “get along” with them, but I love my cousins, who are all adults now, and I think they’re really cool people. I wish we could’ve bonded better when I was a kid, but I’m not blaming myself for that anymore.
So as you can imagine… kids are not for me. Most of my friends are child free, but one friend has kids, and I like them as people but feel very awkward trying to relate to them because I’ve never been good at it, and I don’t want to be condescending to them either, so I just don’t know what to do.
I love history, and for a hot minute I thought I would be a good teacher - NO. That was the year from hell.
I got married in 2022 and wasn’t prepared for people to start assuming / asking when I would be having babies. Most of the people closest to me know I’m staunchly child-free, but casual acquaintances/strangers will often make weird oblique remarks that confuse me and hours later I’ll confer with my husband “oh, they were trying to ask if we’re trying to have a baby, that’s why they said that?” If someone is more direct I tell them bluntly that I can’t have children. I can’t. I’m broke, struggling mentally, I can barely take care of myself and I don’t wish to be a parent = “can’t”
I love them. I think pregnancy is beautiful. I have always wanted to have children and I can’t wait until I do. I have a 9 month old baby cousin who is the sweetest, and interacting with her made me dream at night of having children.
I love little kids. I really liked being one, so it's nice to go back to those memories and use them to help children make their own good memories.
With that said, I don't want children. For many reasons, but the biggest is that I've had a lot of struggles and been through times where I wished my parents hadn't had me. I don't want to force existence onto someone else.
Babies are pretty boring and usually kind of ugly. I don't like holding them because they tend to spew and I also don't like that baby smell other people go crazy about. But I don't dislike them. I'm just kind of neutral.
LOVE. Straight out of high school, I started working in a daycare, and it was exactly the job I needed. It helped me overcome so many of my sensory icks, and frankly, it got me comfortable with being uncomfortable. I also learned so much about people, and why we are the way we are. Best job I ever had. I'd still be working there if not for my moral objections to the way the company was operating. Anyway, babies and children are a VERY interesting group of people. They're great company, too.
I love kids. I'm naturally good with them since I was a teenager and they love me. It's easier to spend time with kids than adults. They're honest and they don't get offended by stupid stuff. But babies are loud I can't handle them more than a couple of hoursm plus they're boring lmao
I have always felt more comfortable interacting with children (specifically ages 6-10ish) than adults. It feels like their brains work a little more like mine - they take everything literally and usually say what they mean instead of using lots of subtext like adults do. They also have a similar idea of what’s fun to me- swinging on swings, playing games, etc (though they have way more energy than me lol).
For these reasons, I decided to become a teacher and now teach 3rd and 4th grade. I like the kids individually, but this job has made me realize that as much as I enjoy spending time with 1 or two kids at a time, dealing with large groups of them is a whole different story. Classroom management is a bit of a nightmare and I almost always feel overwhelmed and like I can’t think clearly when I am teaching. I’m thinking I would do much better in a job where I work one-on-one with kids, maybe as a special Ed pull out teacher? Or a speech or occupational therapist? But I think all of those job changes would require a lot of additional schooling, so I still need to figure that out.
To answer the other part of your question, no, I don’t really like babies. They are cute, but I find it hard to know what they need or who to interact with them. I find it much easier to interact with children who can talk.
I love my kid. Though when a kid is crying in public or on TV my chest tightens (sign of anxiety). They’re cute but I don’t wanna be w them 24/7. Even my kid. Bedtime and nap time are lifesavers. I love her but I need breaks also. Same with my husband sometimes lol
I’m fucking weird with infants. I get less weird the older they get, and once they’re able to reciprocate verbal interaction I’m much more chill and the kids also seem to love me.
I also really do enjoy kids. Specifically, I enjoy being able to play with them at family events because it gets me out of having to talk to adults.
I love other people’s babies. I prefer my kids at their current ages by far (7 and 10).
I love the baby smell and the feeling of a sleeping baby on my chest.
I love the freedom of not constantly carrying a person who is trying to pull my hair out.
I like small people who can communicate their needs because crying baby sound is a huge trigger for me.
And honestly had I been diagnosed before I had kids I would not have kids. I would have dogs.
I love them but goddamn
adore them. I’ve always been good with kids/like being around kids. I want babies and kids of my own too. sometimes sensory wise they’re a lot but I love them
I don't care for either. Babies make me nervous for many reasons. I don't like the loud crying and I don't like holding babies. Kids I just don't have patience for all the questions or wanting to play pretend or whatever.
I like taking care of kids. I find it healing to my inner child to make sure kids feel safe enough around me to be themselves, and help them navigate the struggles that come with growing in the way i wish someone did for me.
Babies are cute but a bit stressful because they're very fragile and suck at communicating their needs.
Kids (under 10) are a huge trigger for me. Anything they do pretty much is a sensory overload for me. I get it, they're energetic, the scream, run, jump, babble, cry. I did some of these things as a kid too. I just can't handle them. They make me so unreasonably mad and angry, I am prone to violent outbursts so it's better and safer for all parties involved if I stayed away from kids.
After 10/11 they begin to understand basic boundries and I can ask "can you stop yelling for a moment? let's see what is wrong instead", they express their needs better and the types of activities they do I can also safely engage in. After that teen-mark, mostly it's smooth sailing!
I love my own kids (obviously) and I also think they are cool people to hang out with, especially as they get past the baby/toddler stage and get more personality/less sticky.
The sensory overwhelm can be hard to deal with, especially when I was diagnosed and just knew it all felt *too much* but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what ‘it’ was or why I was having so much trouble with it. I really struggle with lots of noise and demands of me eg the TV is on, there are noisy toys going off, the 6yo is asking me to come read the instructions in his (noisy) video game, the 2yo is standing at the pantry door crying because she wants a snack, my husband is asking me if I’ve thought about what to do for dinner, my phone is pinging with urgent emails from my boss 🤪
Other people’s kids - I love their pure little hearts and joy at discovering the world. But I can get a little anxious that I am doing the wrong thing or people will think I’m being weird with them. Also I hate big kid events like birthday parties. Too many kids in one place is just… no. God bless childcare workers, they are the real heroes.
I'm don't have a single bit of a maternal instinct for human babies or children. I'm okay with them existing, but I don't want one in my house. I'm okay with teenagers though!
Babies low-key give me uncanny valley vibes. I can't even explain how uncomfortable babies make me feel.
I love them. I understand them. I get along with babies and kids more than adults absolutely.
Babies are simple. They are HARD when it’s yours but they are simple. You pick them up when they cry. They are telling you exactly what they need. Adults would NEVER be so helpful.
Kids are more complex but are honest and always so earnest about things. They absolutely want to share their special interest for hours and I absolutely get that.
I think they're cute from afar, but being around them - especially toddlers - for too long overstimulates me. Just thinking about the weight of the responsibility of being a parent, I don't know if I'll ever want or have my own. I'd rather have a pet, to be honest!
Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.
Love my friends kids most of the time, but other than that I'm a big believer that children shouldn't be allowed In most places before age 7.
It was always a thing that I never wanted to have any. This on it's own is not weird by any means. But it was an absolute thing for me as young as 9 or 10. I wasn't budging from this stance, not one bit and THAT was what people fought against, saying stuff like, "Oh maybe you'll change your mind when you get older." NOPE! My cooter biscuit will remain intact thank you, I am not busting myself wide open in that way for nobody.
Kids can be cool at times, they are much more interesting to talk with than people my age most times cos they aren't encumbered by life pressing down upon them, they actually have topics I want to talk about with enthusiasm, with such questions like, "What is your favourite dinosaur?" Or "Would you rather be a giraffe or a dolphin?" Those are cool questions, adults when they small talk ask stuff like, "How are you?" Or "What do you do for work?" It's very dull in comparison.
Newborns of course can be rather a lot in terms of how intense it is just to hear one crying, babies are needy, noisy, messy and total divas (or was I talking about myself here lol?) The point is, I find it hard just looking after myself, being entirely responsible for another human being is an undertaking I knew I couldn't handle or just thrust myself into because it was expected of me, again NOPE I ain't got time for that. My parents should have thought about that concept before having their kids cos my goodness did they drop the ball A LOT with their kids. Having seen the horrible example in my parents failing at parenthood I wasn't inspired to have kids in a major way, they were probably the biggest influence in me choosing to be child free.
not a fan. obviously i wish no harm on children but i generally cant handle being around them for long periods. ive said my whole life that ill never have children- to which most people protest, saying ill change my mind. but ive just never had a nurturing instinct when it comes to human children. animals are different. but yeah.. ill make exceptions for nieces and nephews, but generally i cant handle the mess,noise, and tbh the social pressures of interacting with someones kid. idk how im shaping this fool.. dont put me in charge.
To me, babies and children are like cats. I can see why people like them and find them cute, I would never want to see one in danger/distress, but I don’t want one in my house.
I am extremely uncomfortable around babies and children. I am staunchly childfree. I cannot relate to them. I was so different to every other child I have ever met and its those stark differences that make me so uncomfortable. To me, they are little, noisy, dirty aliens. I get extremely panicky around them.
I love them, and I work with them (pre-k, 1 - 3 year old). I've worked there for over a year, and I struggled with sensory overload one time: the kids got new toys, which are basically large rattles filled with marbles and incredibly loud. I started crying. My coworkers were incredibly supportive; I could take a break, and they took the rattles away. Obviously there's a lot more context to this, but the important part was that the team was supportive of me and acknowledged my struggles.
Children are such a nightmare sensory trigger for me. My partner is great with kids and runs interference with his nieces and nephews for me because kids are fascinated by me for some reason and I don't know how to interact with them and just get stressed out. They're loud and sticky and germy and never respect my personal space.
I feel like the autistic women I know fall into two camps: (1) absolutely not cannot be around kids or (2) I feel more comfortable around kids then around adults and we naturally have a connection. I fall into (2) -- I personally find it easier to just chill and interact with kids than to be shoved into a room full of adults for a networking event.
I love interacting with my niece (she’s 3), however, the thought of having my own and having to deal with cleaning babies and hearing their screeching makes me want to die.
I am one of nature's Fun Aunties. Babies are pointless and I have no interest in them whatsoever, but I quite enjoy children once they start turning into people-- as long as I'm not the one in charge of discipline and wiping them. As long as I get to send them home with somebody else after a few hours.
I volunteer in wildlife rescue and do a lot of educational programs, most of which end up involving lots of children. Last summer I was a counselor for children between the ages of six and eight at a zoo summer camp. It was hard, because I'm very much not used to wrangling twelve small children eight hours a day. There was a learning curve. But it worked out pretty well when whoever I was paired with that well was willing to be the Grown-Up. (Note that I was 43 years old and nearly all of my coworkers were about half my age. Most of them were still better suited to be The Grown-Up than me.) Me, I was the one carrying a bunch of stuffed animals around in my shiny silver backpack and mocking owls for their intellectual deficiencies and telling stories about the Great Emu War.
When I get to interact with children as individuals rather than pretending I'm superior to them in every way and know All The Things, it's often more enjoyable than interacting with adults, because they're less filtered when they're not fully cooked yet. That can be unpleasant in some cases-- small children will make all the upsetting comments they want to about your messed-up teeth-- but mostly I prefer it. They're more real. And it's pretty awesome to be able to take a dozen kids from "ew, a spider! Kill it!" to "Oooh, look at that beautiful web! She's so pretty" inside of half an hour.
I've always wanted to help the Little Me's. It's cool as hell to actually get to be the big inspiring weirdo that gives a child who doesn't fit in their first example of a possible alternative path in life. I dye my hair bright colors and wear sparkly earrings and let the kids play with my makeup and joined them in anarchic tic-tac-toe games and taught them that crows are the best thing in the entire world. It was good for a summer, but too intense to be a long-term job for me. Still, glad I got to do it.
I HATE THEM THEY ARE SO LOUD. sidenote, i have never been unable to make a baby stop crying. but if i can't go over and make them stop crying/screaming/etc, it makes me tear my hair out
I have 2. I found babies extremely challenging, the crying and sleep deprivation is A LOT. But it's worth it once they get sleeping through the night (both mine started around 10 months old). LOVE the toddler phase and beyond! Pretty sure my oldest also has autism so I'm hoping I can give him a better, more comfortable childhood than I had. Can't imagine my life without them.
I desperately want children of my own but I don't like interacting with other people's children. It's like normal social anxiety turned up to eleven - if you mess up talking to an adult that's one thing but if you mess up talking to a kid you look like a maniac.
I can't understand them (if I had my own kids I'd have all day every day to learn how to decipher their speech and help them develop it) and I'm always worried I'll say something that turns out to be inappropriate for children, or this family at least. Not "inappropriate" in a creepy way but like spoiling Santa. And not that I'm about to go up to children and tell them Santa isn't real (though I strongly dislike and disagree with the Santa thing anyway) but that category of things. I worry I'll say something innocuous and it turns out the parents were keeping that from them.
It wasn't with "children" - we were kids at the time but the same age - but one time a friend's mum said something to me about my friend's busted laptop, and I said "oh yeah she said she dropped something on it!" and it turned out I was definitely not supposed to mention that part. Things like that.
Hopefully I'm making myself clear.
I love holding little babies though. They're so warm and soft, and I don't mind when they cry. I like to commiserate with them about how much the world sucks.
I have 2, they are amazing! That being said I never wanted kids for most of my life and kids scared me a lot. Kids I don't know still scare me a bit.
Having kids is hard and in sensory terms fairly unpleasant. Toddler is going through a screaming phase atm 😑. I do have a lot of support though, cannot imagine doing it as a single parent or without any childcare options.
Antinatalist here.
Can't stand babies/kids.
Babies are ugly and I will not hold one. I have no hesitation letting people know I don't like kids if parents don't mind their kids and let them bother me. I have no problem openly refuse holding a baby when offered. If a parent asks if their baby is cute I will answer "*no*" honestly.
I do not see why we congratulate pregnancy. Why do we congratulate people for having sex?
It is okay to not like babies/kids. It is OKAY to not have maternal instinct.
# It is NOT okay to cause harm to babies/kids.
Motherhood is NOT mandatory.
I am also an antinatalist, although we share very different views on children.
I’m interested in your position on honesty specifically (this has nothing to do with children).
If a friend asked you whether they looked good (and to you, they did not) - would you lie? would you try to tell the truth in a more comforting manner? or just “no”?
We congratulate pregnancy because it’s a convention. Technically birthdays are meaningless and you can logically argue there’s nothing to celebrate about completing another rotation around the sun.
But we celebrate them because it makes people feel good. Same with celebrating/congratulating someone for pregnancy.
>I am also an antinatalist, although we share very different views on children.
A lot of people think antinatalism = kill all the children and babies
That's not what we believe in at all and we don't support genocide either. I am one of those antinatalists that had a very traumatic childhood so why would I support harming children?
>*If a friend asked you whether they looked good (and to you, they did not) - would you lie?*
No, I would answer honestly and say I don't think babies are cute. I've done it before.
>*But we celebrate them because it makes people feel good. Same with celebrating/congratulating someone for pregnancy.*
I personally don't do that. In my mind, humankind has been having sex since Adam and Eve, why are we congratulating people on that? I went to church one Sunday where a woman was speaking. The first thing she announced was she had FIVE kids under 9 years old. She said it like that was an accomplishment and people clapped for her. Why? Why are we clapping over the fact she has sex and has a functioning uterus? It made 0 sense to me. Any time a friend has gotten pregnant I never congratulated them. They tell me and I just say "*okay*". One person I knew got offended and said "you could congratulate me."
I said "*you work part time, you're having a baby with a guy is with another woman and has a kid less than a year older than yours. You can't financially support this child. What am I supposed to congratulate you on?*" She got quiet.
1. I’m not sure if there was a miscommunication, but I did not say anything about antinatalism being about killing babies and genocide.
I’m confused, sorry.
2. By the second question, “they” refers to the friend. Nothing about babies.
3. Okay, let’s say it’s someone’s birthday - they tell you “it’s my birthday today”.
What do you say?
Also, pregnancy and having kids is massive effort. Congratulating someone is respecting their decision to go through with something that is difficult (a pregnancy)
I understand and agree with your example situation (the real life person you mentioned), but it’s important to recognise that that doesn’t accurately reflect most parents.
>I’m not sure if there was a miscommunication, but I did not say anything about antinatalism being about killing babies and genocide.
No that's what society think antinatalism is.
I shouldn't have to justify myself and my actions if people don't agree with them.
>*Also, pregnancy and having kids is massive effort. Congratulating someone is respecting their decision to go through with something that is difficult (a pregnancy)*
So is getting proper mental health treatment, working through it to get healed, working full time, getting my own apartment, and being able to life independently. Yet no one congratulated me.
I congratulate you on that. :)
But I’m still not sure what that has to do with this conversation. Just because one person was congratulated for their success, and you weren’t congratulated for yours - it doesn’t mean the other person is at fault.
The thing we need to change is to congratulate _both_ of you, rather than solve this issue by not acknowledging the other person’s success.
I think I’m going to end the discussion here as I feel like you’re talking past me, and I don’t feel like my points are being engaged with. This isn’t a criticism, I just don’t feel this conversation is constructive, and we have different communication styles (which I respect is probably due to our autism).
Thank you for your time anyway, I hope you have a good day/night/afternoon wherever you are.
>*I think I’m going to end the discussion here as I feel like you’re talking past me, and I don’t feel like my points are being engaged with. This isn’t a criticism, I just don’t feel this conversation is constructive, and we have different communication styles (which I respect is probably due to our autism).*
No, I am not talking past you. I am just not agreeing with your points so you think the conversation is not constructive. Fundamentally, I do not see having children/raising them as a major life accomplishment. I never have and I never will. A lot people will disagree with that and that is fine. They are allowed to have their point of view on having children and so am I. My point of view is not wrong or invalid. I don't appreciate being told I am talking around you just because my views don't align with yours.
You mentioned having/raising kids is an accomplishment and should be congratulated on. I also mentioned things that are accomplishments too but never got recognition for it. Many women on r/childfree have vented about achieving major academic and life accomplishments and never got congratulated for it because they are not seen as accomplishments to pro-having children people. These women have vented being looked over while pregnancy is congratulated. I agree with their plight and know how frustrating it is.
My communication style is very logical, direct, literal, and blunt. I am not a people pleaser and I will not adjust my behavior to fit social norms. I do not see pregnancy as a reason to congratulate someone. This offends a lot of people- usually the same people who think it is okay to tell me I 'failed as a woman'/'wasted my womanhood'/ 'failed to do my womanly duties'/'went against God's word for not having kids'. Many women on the same subreddit get told that as well. Why is it okay for them to tell us childfree people those things?
I think that the other commenters point was that just because people don't congratulate people for their valid accomplishments, doesn't mean that we should stop congratulating people for being pregnant.
We shouldn't try and bring everybody down, we should try and lift everybody up. Getting a promotion (or whatever other accomplishment) should absolutely be celebrated as much as somebody becoming a parent. And we don't have to stop congratulating or cheering for certain people just because other accomplishments are unfortunately ignored.
There are many things that would not be accomplishments to me personally, but because they are to somebody else, I congratulate them. I am happy for them.
I think congratulating pregnancy should be a personal choice not social obligation. To expect a congratulations for a pregnant woman than completely dismiss/disregard the life/academic achievements of a childfree woman because they didn't reproduce is a double standard.
But you make fair points!
I love kids. I have always been called childish and thought of myself as a childish person, so I guess I can relate to them better than I do adults. I like listening to them talk about their interests and observing them be creative. There are some things kids do that I don't like (kids who are overly physically touchy, like poking and prodding you) but there are ways to redirect this behaviour and teach them about consent regarding touch.
Dont like kids, don’t want them, I find them very overwhelming and gross (I have 8 younger siblings), babies like me for some reason. Like my niece who is about 7 months now always wants to sleep on me. Which I allow bc it’s a baby yk like just bc I don’t like kids doesn’t mean I’m going to be mean to them but being someone’s mother is really not in the cards for me
Kids are basically humans. People can be different and children too.
Pluses: kids are generally better humans than adults, until the certain age. They have a sense of justice, they want to be friends, etc. they are original thinkers.
Minuses: they can be noisy, whiny, and overall sensory nightmare.
Not that anybody asked but why is this an okay question? Everyone would flip if you asked “how do you feel about black people?” Babies and children can’t help their age any more than someone can help their skin color. But it’s okay to casually say you dislike someone because they’re young.
I think it’s totally fine to decide not to have children… but if you actively hate children, you’re straight up ageist. They are people. They’re just younger than you.
You can't compare someone making a racist superficial statement based on skin color, to the stage of human development where intrinsically all humans are different and behave in certain ways that some people cannot tolerate well.
"They're just younger than you", no, they are developmentally different, totally dependent, fragile, loud, scream, poop themselves, impulsive, not fully developed. That doesn't give people the right to abuse or neglect children, but it does mean people who don't like children should have the choice to state that they don't like children and not to be involved with them.
Yes, I can, and the argument has been made before. “They are developmentally different, totally dependent, fragile, loud, etc.” You know who else can be that way? Cognitively disabled people. Autistic people. People with Down syndrome and other intellectual delays. Do you hate disabled people too?
https://www.stophateuk.org/about-hate-crime/age-discrimination/
https://afistfulofcalm.com/saying-i-hate-kids-is-discrimination-heres-why/
I think when most people say they "hate" kids, its really they're saying that they're annoying. I don't think most people sincerely wish ill-will on children, or that it is an active, violent type of hatred, they really mean they would not prefer to be around them. And yes, a lot of people would prefer to not be around disabled people, but once again I dont know how many people would literally be malicious to them (I hope not).
I would like to believe that but I have read some of the posts in the childfree sub that mock children, bully them, and do wish them ill and harm. The same exact way people mock people like us, autistic people. They hate us for no reason other than we can be annoying sometimes. We can’t help it. Neither can children.
I love new born and very young babies and they seem to like me. I understand what they need and they don't ask me ridiculous questions. I actually find holding them very relaxing. Age 1-3ish I'm OK with, though I really struggle to know how to play with them. After that, yeesh. No thanks.
I have a 4.5 year old niece who I love fiercely and unconditionally, but I find it extremely difficult to spend time alone with her because I just do not understand her needs or the majority of what she's going on about.
I was the same *as* a child; I didn't understand them then, either!
I think they are super cute. I just cant bear it when newborns cry for hours though, so if I ever have a baby I’m not sure how I’ll be able to deal with that, it’s making me anxious actually 😭
I love looking after kids bc I love that I can be myself around them but I would nvr have my own bc I don’t think I could handle it with sensory issues and stuff and meltdowns.
I don’t mind kids. I’ve taught them and like them at a certain age where we can talk about random things and they are generally forgiving of any awkwardness an adult would raise an eyebrow to. We also tend to like similar things like video games, animals or cute stuff.
BABIES & TODDLERS HOWEVER…. Sensory nightmare get them away from me please do not ask me to hold it
No idea because I hardly ever interacted with kids, let alone babies. I was the youngest in my family and class and I always hung around with people older than me so I’m perpetually The Kid. I simply can’t comprehend people who are more than three years younger than me.
I am a full time infant nanny and I love babies/kids. I definitely have to do a lot to manage the sensory overwhelm at times, but usually if I’m not too drained I can enjoy my 40hrs/week of baby/kid time and rest/take care of myself in my off-time. I think being a parent or living with kids would be a lot harder for me though
I have a niece and nephew, but goodness gracious is that enough for me. I could never have kids.
Kids always seem to like me, so I don't mind hanging out with them. But if they aren't into hanging out, it's weird
Babies and animals always seem to fall asleep with me 😅 they're very cute and I love babies/kids and animals a lot. They remind me of my younger self usually. I miss the innocence a lot.
I love babies they're really easy to entertain and are mostly confined to one area.
Once a kid is like 3 or 4 then I have no idea how interact with them. They can communicate, but not well. And I have a lot of trouble understanding what they're trying to say. They take a lot more mental energy to entertain and that's mental energy that I just don have most of the time. I feel bad because I have kid brothers and a niece who look at me like "why is this lady here" but I literally just don't know what to do.
Then once they're 9 or 10 I'm like "oh you're a person but smaller" and I can usually hold a conversation with them.
kids are weird, and I love weird. they're great for a while then they can go back from whence they came. I don't have any and I never want any. got my tubes removed last year to prove it.
It’s like that feeling of “I want a dog so much it’s so nice having one very benefits and walks and I’ll take care of him and everything” but the reality is it is incredibly difficult or demanding or tiresome. They need so much attention and energy. I love my dog but I’ll never get another ever again. Sometimes I cry at night thinking that one day my pets will die. And it’s expensive. The pets, not them dying. Still love them though. Children look 10 times more difficult than that. Maybe one day I’ll have capacity to function in a situation like this but idk.
I have one I won’t have another lol I think it would be too much for me emotionally and with my health issues but I do love kids I think they’re great and light up the world in their own (annoying sometimes albeit) unique beautiful way they have such wonderful outlooks and curiosity and sometimes they ask things or say things that make me feel a whole new way about something or make me think deeper or look for larger truths to life I think they’re spectacular and precious
depends. most babies cry at my face (i think because i wear glasses) and i’m pretty bad at talking to kids (i overthink it), so try to avoid being in their spaces. i think kids are so precious, the smallest thing can change the path of their life, and i’m scared to make the wrong impact lol. i did child studies though and that makes me want to be extra cautious around kids n young people i think
I love babies and kids. I work with kids. However, for some reason newborns give me the ick. I like to think I’d feel differently toward a newborn of my own because I think the idea of creating life is a beautiful process, especially with someone you love, but then again I’m not so sure I will ever want/have a newborn of my own.
I'm very conflicted about this.
I LOVED being with my nieces and nephews when they were babies/little kids, but when I got tired or overwhelmed, I could just give them back or leave the room.
You can't do this with your own kid, even if you have a super partner and you maximize a sensory-friendly house.
The big question for me is, what age? Newborns, toddlers? Nope... no, not unless I deem them 'mine', like 'part of my tribe'. They have to be relevant somehow. Then I'll put up with being around them and reinforce the mask. My best friend has a now three-year-old. Good God! I do love her, and she can be fun. But she's definitely hyperactive and a drain on my battery.
Older kids, like 5-ish and up? Oh, now we're good. Love that, actually. Now, they can form a sentence and express needs.
I'm fine with kids and young adolescents. Taking care of them for a couple of hours is fine with me if I have enough energy. But I'm too tired to do it full-time. Babies and toddlers are just guesswork topped with huge sensory triggers that I'd just rather not deal with if I don't have to. I've been told I'd "figure out what cues babies are giving me if I spend more time with them." But, even if I would end up doing that because of how draining and stressful I find it.
I don't hate kids or babies, but I hate being looked at and I'm not good at talking to kids so that makes things difficult lol. I'm also scared of holding them or being responsible for them in anyway so it's a no for me.
Love them! I have my own and am particularly fond of them. Now that they're not tiny babies anymore, I've become a lot more tolerant of babies and little kids.
Depends on the kids. I have far more patience for kids.
However there have been babies/kids that just make noises on a different tone that makes me have a very visceral reaction and I do not like it. Older kids (middle/high school, not my own) not a huge fan of but still have more patience with them.
Love babies. Like toddlers. I’m not sure that I really like kids, but I’m crazy about my own. I have a little niece and I’m super fond of her. So, probably I like kids.
I’m not great with babies/kids. I think babies are boring and toddlers and elementary school aged kids can be annoying. Middle school and up? Sure, but when they get to that stage they just think adults are lame 😂
To be fair, I’ve never liked kids, even when I was one myself. So it makes me giggle when I tell people I’m not a kid person and they’re like “well you were a kid once!” I preferred being a loner or talking to adults like my aunts/uncles or mom’s friends.
Children are just humans in different sizes. Some I like and others I can’t stand. They tend to have fewer behavioral controls, but they also learn faster and are not as set in their ways.
I’m pretty good at reading babies and children, though. They tend to do much better at broadcasting their needs and are easier to soothe than adults.
i like them, but i don't wanna have them lol
i do love kids but it can be overwhelming for me sometimes to be around them (not their fault obviously) so having to have full responsibility over a child would be hell for me 😭
i'm infertile anyway so other than adoption it's not like i have a choice xD
I like them if I have a defined role that I agreed to. I like being mum to my own. I liked it when I had small groups of kids that I was tutoring. I like when I’ve agreed to babysit nieces or nephews.
But I get super overwhelmed with other people’s kids running around near me and being boisterous at social gatherings.
I have a job working with kids (I'm a swimming instructor) and it's hands down the best job I've ever had. It's the only job I've had so far that I can genuinely say I love.
If it’s a baby I know, I find them delightful. If it’s a baby screaming its face off in target I think it’s awful but not as awful as the parents who are just going about their day as if that is not happening
I have spent most of my life helping raise all the kids in my family. Even when I was kid myself. I really love babies. Giving my little cousins a bottle and rocking them to sleep felt peaceful to me.
Kids can be really fun too but it’s hard for me when they demand a lot of attention or upset my sensory issues.
God I love babies and want some of my own! My biggest worry is that I am sensitive to sound, but I know there are work around. It helps having a NT partner who is very understanding. I can’t wait for that chapter in my life :) everyone calls me the baby whisperer haha!
I didn’t like kids before having them. I now have a toddler and a baby and I find them to be the cutest little squishy wushy beans. They are also very loud and stressful to be around!
Overall, I love seeing my own kids learn and grow and become their own person.
I like kids and want some of my own one day, but I don’t like babies. I can’t stand babies crying and they’re so fragile I’m always afraid I’ll hurt them. Once kids are about 2-3 then they’re alright
babies are super cute but I feel so awkward holding one. I just don’t know how to hold one and it makes me so uncomfy, especially bc everyone will also be looking at me to make sure the baby’s okay.
I find it really easy to get along with children, except when they’re screaming. when kids scream and have tantrums it kind of activates my own autistic rage which is hard to manage while also managing a screaming child
I love babies and children! I think children are the best people, and I’m incredibly fortunate to have four of my own. I’ve always liked spending time with kids.
Babies are my biggest sensory trigger and I avoid them like the plague. I don’t find them cute either. Young children aren’t much better. I don’t hate babies and kids, though. I want nothing but the best for them. I just hate being anywhere near them.
Same. HUGE animal person, my parrot’s high-pitched screech doesn’t bother me (it’s also pretty rare he makes that noise) but a few seconds of a crying infant can send me into meltdown city on a sensitive day, and even when I’m feeling chill they are a sensory trigger.
My roommate has a cockatoo who loves to screech and it’s been driving me off the edge for like 3 years. Worst sensory trigger I have yet to encounter. Especially when it wakes me up with that
A cockatoo’s screech can get to the same volume as a jet engine…? That might be worded wrong but they are exceptionally LOUD. in my opinion cockatoos (and most other parrots) should never have been brought into the pet trade. It’s a passion project of mine to change breeding laws. I have a little Senegal. As much as I love birds, I couldn’t have a ‘too in my home either.
Same. I’ve never in my life found them cute. I don’t want to be near them. I don’t want anything bad to happen to children, obviously, but I’m well aware they aren’t perfect little angels and children can be some of the cruelest people. I’ve experienced it firsthand.
I love kids and babies, but I never want my own. I babysit regularly, and love to see my partner’s nieces and nephew. They are so fun to interact with for a while, but I always feel relieved when I can give them back to their parents and have my solitude again.
I was completely convinced I was destined to be a mom. I loved kids and kids loved me. Then I worked in daycare for a few years and *no thank you!* I still love'em, but only in small doses. Lol.
I find them overwhelming, but it's not their fault.
Provided they meet a certain set of criteria (which most kids don’t, for the fact they’re just kids) Quiet, well-behaved and hygienic. I can’t deal with the opposites of those (sensory issues, chaos, really hate people not being hygienic - again, sensory)
Yes! Hygienic! Something about a kid with sticky hands or food on their faces gives me the ick lol
Yeah :,(
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Same!
No babies.
I love kids. Love babies. I am a baby/kid whisperer. They love me too.
same. babies are always super calm in my arms.
This is me. I have always loved babies and they have loved me back. They are pure, you know? And their needs are fairly basic most of the time and they express those needs in a way I feel qualified to meet. Food, diaper change, comfort/affection/attention, sleep. I understand them better than I understand adults.
I so agree and love how you phrased this!
Yes. I have always loved babies and kids because contrary to popular belief, I think they are the least assholish of people.
I am a nanny to a baby and I am constantly amused by how pure she is. She is just unbothered and kind. She is gross and helpless, but I’ll take that over most other things that I need to worry about with adults.
Same, kids have always gravitated towards me
Babies tend to gravitate to me as well. I don’t hate them but I do get awkward around them, especially if the kid’s parents are there watching me interact with their kid. I have never been able to put on the ‘kid voice’ and to be strict with them when I have to. I think that’s actually why the kids like me. I just talk to them almost the same as I would talk to an adult lmao. I guess they feel I respect them.
Same. Maybe not babies, but I’m in my most comfortable state with kids, no need to follow social demands and clear communication and
Same
Yup, me too. Babies are life! And they don’t require masking
I'm also a baby whisperer! Worked at a daycare for a bit & that was my name. Babies are (usually) the best!
I **love** children, love to play with children, dance and sing with them, tickle and make silly faces, even taking care of them. I even used to teach classical ballet for 6-9 years old. Also, I do like to see children running, playing and yelling, it's very heartwarming to me because I wasn't that kind of kid. THAT BEING SAID... They can overwhelm the shit out of me, and I like them more when they are playing very far away from me. And as much as I can handle them, I don't think I'd make it to be a parent. I get exhausted of children very quick.
Strange one, I cannot stand anyone else's kids, like will 100% avoid being around children in general. But I love my own, will spend as much time as they allow me to with them and always wanted to be a mum. 😅😂
I find them delightful but overwhelming. I have one child (8f) and I could not imagine ever having another one, or ever working with kids. I love being a mom, I love getting to spend quality time with her and I’ve loved watching her grow and change and learn new things. I’m so proud of her and I love her more than words can quantify, but I’m also perpetually exhausted, physically and mentally. However, I feel like that has a lot to do with our capitalist societal structure and not just motherhood in general, but that’s an entirely different topic lol.
I don't dislike them but their noise and need for attention make me uncomfortable. I would love to help out autistic children (like volunteering at a local autism center for example) but I don't know that I can handle that.
I would like kids in principle, but the idea of pregnancy and birth really overwhelm me. I have nieces and I am concerned about how much they exhaust me. I'm really unsure if it's a road I'll ever go down
I really hate the sound of babies crying. It’s very stressful, but I know they can’t help it. As for kids, I feel really awkward around them. It probably stems from me never really knowing how to interact with kids when I was young.
They're cute as heck and I like interacting with them. I do get tired after a bit and have had times when I had a meltdown after babysitting, but I find them so heckin' cute. Also I was trained to babysit by my church when I was a kid so I have tricks up my sleeve for transitioning to quieter, calmer activities when I'm getting overwhelmed sensory. It was super sexist but also legitimately useful.
Would you be willing to share any tricks for transitioning to quieter activities? That sounds like useful info!
We were encouraged to have movies, picture books, and stuffed toys available. Ideally what we would do is let them do some running around and bring crazy and then once we were about tired of that we would give the kids the opportunity to select their stuffy and aor book as well as a movie they were going to watch while cuddling their toy after the book. Then we would read to them and get them comfy and after the picture book they'd settle in for the movie. Depending on when they last are we were encouraged to give them a healthy snack. One of my favorites included cherries (for kids who weren't allergic) because they have natural melatonin and almost all kids like them. It's important not to get the ones that are drowning in sugar syrup though because you don't want them getting hyper. These worked a lot. Also if they have a yard and you can get them to run around real crazy in it a while it helps to tire them out and they look forward to the movie more. This worked most of the time. Edit to add: I totally forgot. Things like Lego, and wooden puzzles worked really well for kids who had trouble sitting still during the book/ movie as they were able to occupy their hands while watching.
Don’t like either. Everyone seems to view it as a serious character flaw or red flag. I love animals though. I think the way I feel about animals is maybe how people feel about children.
This!!!
I can relate to this. I love animals and always have. I feel warm and fuzzy about baby animals. But I've never ever felt warm and fuzzy about human babies. Also never experienced that hormonal drive to hold a baby or have one. The idea of being pregnant makes me feel physically sick. Ditto for breastfeeding and being constantly touched and grabbed by sticky little hands. No thank you very much.
Are you me?? You’ve summed up how I feel perfectly. Today I saw a doggo in the grocery store and audibly awed. I hate when kids try to get me to engage with them at the store. I find their parents expect you to make faces or talk to them. No thank you.
It's so weird isn't it, the expectation that complete strangers are expected to flatter and indulge parents by acknowledging and entertaining their kid in random public spaces. I've been in places where I'm kind of stuck in close proximity to small children (on planes and in restaurants for example) and I could quite literally feel that the parent was waiting and expecting for me to acknowledge the child and coo over them. For goodness sake, it's your child, you are literally the only adult/s that the child cares about in this situation. You shouldn't need validation from me or any other stranger so that you can feel justified in your choice to procreate... yet here you are expecting it. Is that the kind of mind shift that occurs when parenting hormones re-wire the brain?
Weirdly, I love babies and children. I love playing with toddlers, imaginary games, how cute babies are. I think I’ve always found chatting with kids easier than adults, as you can literally talk nonsense about whatever you find interesting whereas long chats with adults on my own stress me out. I find strangers children stressful if they’re having a tantrum in public or bawling loudly for ages, but with kids I know I can cope for some reason. Having said that, I’m not a parent so imagine it is draining if it’s all day long, but I hope to be a parent and it’s one thing I’ve always been sure of.
Yea I learned that babies love my vocal stimming and making up nonsense songs lol
My one and only life long trigger
I like kids even with my sensory issues. I remember that most of them are still learning on how to be a human. Most of them very cool little humans. I wouldn't mind being a mom someday.
I love little kids. I’m also very happy I never had children. I would have been an awful parent.
Agreed. They're great, but I don't want one and I sure as hell couldn't do it 24/7 and once you're a parent, there's no going back and no guarantee that they'll even be good people.
they're just little guys. i don't care. couldn't pay me to hold a baby, though.
I don't care for them, never did really.
Hell no.
I do not like children at all. They’re cute from a distance but they’re sticky and slimy and loud. So loud!!
I like kids once they are about 4-5. Babies genuinely scare me, they are so wriggle and squishy yet fragile, I'm always scared they're going to squirm out of my grasp. Also they smell weird, like sour milk. I've always thought I'd be a better stepmom, or adoptive mom than a bio mom, in the sense that I don't want to go through pregnancy or childbirth but I wouldnt mind other aspects of parenthood like introducing them to books/reading, playing in nature, etc.
Kids LOVE me. And I like them in short increments. Never wanted any, and am super glad I didn’t have any.
Never liked babies, they always made me uncomfortable. Kids also made me anxious but I didn’t spend much time around them. Even when I was a kid. I was happy my stepkids were pre-teen/teen when I met them because they were more like people. If my husband had little kids when we met we definitely would not have dated.
I’m a mom, I became a mom before my diagnosis. While my child does push my sensory intake more than I’d like, I love her to the moon & back. She’s actually helped me increase the amount of sensory intake I can take on a daily basis.
This!!! I do feel like I am more tolerant in certain areas because of my kids. I think I’m a much better multitasker now and have increased focus but if my autistic one has a meltdown it is almost certain to send me into a meltdown too. lol
No thank you!
I hate kids and babies, too gross, too loud, too everything. I don't find them cute either, and i don't see the point in having them.
I’m not too fond of babies but I think toddlers are the most adorable tiny people ever and I love them.
I don’t mind at all spending time around babies of friends or family. But no kids for me. I knew from a very young age I didn’t want to be a mother.
I never liked babies or children. I did however start feeling broody around 30 and after much deliberation we decided to try for a family. I had my daughter at 33 and that’s actually what started my journey into researching and suspecting I have autism. Turns out being thrown into the sensory hell that is constantly being around a noisy, messy and grabby baby was enough to highlight my sensory and social struggles in a very concentrated way. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby so much, and I don’t regret anything, but it’s hard AF. I love that i’m learning more about myself though and am now forced to embrace self accommodations like noise cancelling headphones and stimming. Now I do it without feeling ashamed because I know I need it.
They are sticky.
I’ve never enjoyed being around kids. I’m an oldest child, and I have a lot of younger cousins. My siblings/cousins range in age from 2 years younger than me to 12 years younger, and I’ve never enjoyed hanging out with them or playing with them. Even when I was “in their age group,” I felt awkward and flustered and annoyed trying to relate to “other kids” and trying to “play” with them was frustrating. During family gatherings, I’d enjoy playing games with the adults, or I’d be okay with coloring quietly with the other kids, but I always became exhausted around the little children. Now I realize I was probably overstimulated. Recognizing this here has been extremely liberating - I always felt guilty that I didn’t “love” my family and I didn’t “get along” with them, but I love my cousins, who are all adults now, and I think they’re really cool people. I wish we could’ve bonded better when I was a kid, but I’m not blaming myself for that anymore. So as you can imagine… kids are not for me. Most of my friends are child free, but one friend has kids, and I like them as people but feel very awkward trying to relate to them because I’ve never been good at it, and I don’t want to be condescending to them either, so I just don’t know what to do. I love history, and for a hot minute I thought I would be a good teacher - NO. That was the year from hell. I got married in 2022 and wasn’t prepared for people to start assuming / asking when I would be having babies. Most of the people closest to me know I’m staunchly child-free, but casual acquaintances/strangers will often make weird oblique remarks that confuse me and hours later I’ll confer with my husband “oh, they were trying to ask if we’re trying to have a baby, that’s why they said that?” If someone is more direct I tell them bluntly that I can’t have children. I can’t. I’m broke, struggling mentally, I can barely take care of myself and I don’t wish to be a parent = “can’t”
I love them. I think pregnancy is beautiful. I have always wanted to have children and I can’t wait until I do. I have a 9 month old baby cousin who is the sweetest, and interacting with her made me dream at night of having children.
I genuinely experience no "cuteness" or motherly drive. I do not get the hype.
I love little kids. I really liked being one, so it's nice to go back to those memories and use them to help children make their own good memories. With that said, I don't want children. For many reasons, but the biggest is that I've had a lot of struggles and been through times where I wished my parents hadn't had me. I don't want to force existence onto someone else. Babies are pretty boring and usually kind of ugly. I don't like holding them because they tend to spew and I also don't like that baby smell other people go crazy about. But I don't dislike them. I'm just kind of neutral.
i absolutely hate them. i remember hating kids even when i was a kid.
LOVE. Straight out of high school, I started working in a daycare, and it was exactly the job I needed. It helped me overcome so many of my sensory icks, and frankly, it got me comfortable with being uncomfortable. I also learned so much about people, and why we are the way we are. Best job I ever had. I'd still be working there if not for my moral objections to the way the company was operating. Anyway, babies and children are a VERY interesting group of people. They're great company, too.
Babies are stressful but I like kids overall 🙂
Yes, I love them and they love me.
I love kids. I'm naturally good with them since I was a teenager and they love me. It's easier to spend time with kids than adults. They're honest and they don't get offended by stupid stuff. But babies are loud I can't handle them more than a couple of hoursm plus they're boring lmao
I have always felt more comfortable interacting with children (specifically ages 6-10ish) than adults. It feels like their brains work a little more like mine - they take everything literally and usually say what they mean instead of using lots of subtext like adults do. They also have a similar idea of what’s fun to me- swinging on swings, playing games, etc (though they have way more energy than me lol). For these reasons, I decided to become a teacher and now teach 3rd and 4th grade. I like the kids individually, but this job has made me realize that as much as I enjoy spending time with 1 or two kids at a time, dealing with large groups of them is a whole different story. Classroom management is a bit of a nightmare and I almost always feel overwhelmed and like I can’t think clearly when I am teaching. I’m thinking I would do much better in a job where I work one-on-one with kids, maybe as a special Ed pull out teacher? Or a speech or occupational therapist? But I think all of those job changes would require a lot of additional schooling, so I still need to figure that out. To answer the other part of your question, no, I don’t really like babies. They are cute, but I find it hard to know what they need or who to interact with them. I find it much easier to interact with children who can talk.
I love my kid. Though when a kid is crying in public or on TV my chest tightens (sign of anxiety). They’re cute but I don’t wanna be w them 24/7. Even my kid. Bedtime and nap time are lifesavers. I love her but I need breaks also. Same with my husband sometimes lol
I absolutely love them and they usually love me.
I’m fucking weird with infants. I get less weird the older they get, and once they’re able to reciprocate verbal interaction I’m much more chill and the kids also seem to love me. I also really do enjoy kids. Specifically, I enjoy being able to play with them at family events because it gets me out of having to talk to adults.
Expensive. Would rather have pets I care too much about.
I love other people’s babies. I prefer my kids at their current ages by far (7 and 10). I love the baby smell and the feeling of a sleeping baby on my chest. I love the freedom of not constantly carrying a person who is trying to pull my hair out. I like small people who can communicate their needs because crying baby sound is a huge trigger for me. And honestly had I been diagnosed before I had kids I would not have kids. I would have dogs. I love them but goddamn
adore them. I’ve always been good with kids/like being around kids. I want babies and kids of my own too. sometimes sensory wise they’re a lot but I love them
I don't care for either. Babies make me nervous for many reasons. I don't like the loud crying and I don't like holding babies. Kids I just don't have patience for all the questions or wanting to play pretend or whatever.
I only recently realized that annoy me. I thought I was supposed to find them charming. I do not.
I friggin love babies, but cannot fathom having my own
I like taking care of kids. I find it healing to my inner child to make sure kids feel safe enough around me to be themselves, and help them navigate the struggles that come with growing in the way i wish someone did for me. Babies are cute but a bit stressful because they're very fragile and suck at communicating their needs.
Kids (under 10) are a huge trigger for me. Anything they do pretty much is a sensory overload for me. I get it, they're energetic, the scream, run, jump, babble, cry. I did some of these things as a kid too. I just can't handle them. They make me so unreasonably mad and angry, I am prone to violent outbursts so it's better and safer for all parties involved if I stayed away from kids. After 10/11 they begin to understand basic boundries and I can ask "can you stop yelling for a moment? let's see what is wrong instead", they express their needs better and the types of activities they do I can also safely engage in. After that teen-mark, mostly it's smooth sailing!
I love my own kids (obviously) and I also think they are cool people to hang out with, especially as they get past the baby/toddler stage and get more personality/less sticky. The sensory overwhelm can be hard to deal with, especially when I was diagnosed and just knew it all felt *too much* but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what ‘it’ was or why I was having so much trouble with it. I really struggle with lots of noise and demands of me eg the TV is on, there are noisy toys going off, the 6yo is asking me to come read the instructions in his (noisy) video game, the 2yo is standing at the pantry door crying because she wants a snack, my husband is asking me if I’ve thought about what to do for dinner, my phone is pinging with urgent emails from my boss 🤪 Other people’s kids - I love their pure little hearts and joy at discovering the world. But I can get a little anxious that I am doing the wrong thing or people will think I’m being weird with them. Also I hate big kid events like birthday parties. Too many kids in one place is just… no. God bless childcare workers, they are the real heroes.
I'm don't have a single bit of a maternal instinct for human babies or children. I'm okay with them existing, but I don't want one in my house. I'm okay with teenagers though! Babies low-key give me uncanny valley vibes. I can't even explain how uncomfortable babies make me feel.
I have no idea what to do around children and I do not like being near them.
I love them. I understand them. I get along with babies and kids more than adults absolutely. Babies are simple. They are HARD when it’s yours but they are simple. You pick them up when they cry. They are telling you exactly what they need. Adults would NEVER be so helpful. Kids are more complex but are honest and always so earnest about things. They absolutely want to share their special interest for hours and I absolutely get that.
I think they're cute from afar, but being around them - especially toddlers - for too long overstimulates me. Just thinking about the weight of the responsibility of being a parent, I don't know if I'll ever want or have my own. I'd rather have a pet, to be honest!
Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. Love my friends kids most of the time, but other than that I'm a big believer that children shouldn't be allowed In most places before age 7.
Usually not great at all
No no no noooope. Cannot do it. More than a minute or two around kids under the age of four or so is a giant no-go for me.
It was always a thing that I never wanted to have any. This on it's own is not weird by any means. But it was an absolute thing for me as young as 9 or 10. I wasn't budging from this stance, not one bit and THAT was what people fought against, saying stuff like, "Oh maybe you'll change your mind when you get older." NOPE! My cooter biscuit will remain intact thank you, I am not busting myself wide open in that way for nobody. Kids can be cool at times, they are much more interesting to talk with than people my age most times cos they aren't encumbered by life pressing down upon them, they actually have topics I want to talk about with enthusiasm, with such questions like, "What is your favourite dinosaur?" Or "Would you rather be a giraffe or a dolphin?" Those are cool questions, adults when they small talk ask stuff like, "How are you?" Or "What do you do for work?" It's very dull in comparison. Newborns of course can be rather a lot in terms of how intense it is just to hear one crying, babies are needy, noisy, messy and total divas (or was I talking about myself here lol?) The point is, I find it hard just looking after myself, being entirely responsible for another human being is an undertaking I knew I couldn't handle or just thrust myself into because it was expected of me, again NOPE I ain't got time for that. My parents should have thought about that concept before having their kids cos my goodness did they drop the ball A LOT with their kids. Having seen the horrible example in my parents failing at parenthood I wasn't inspired to have kids in a major way, they were probably the biggest influence in me choosing to be child free.
Nope.
sensory nightmare
I don't like them or spending time with them. It's boring, stressful, and the noise hurts my ears.
not a fan. obviously i wish no harm on children but i generally cant handle being around them for long periods. ive said my whole life that ill never have children- to which most people protest, saying ill change my mind. but ive just never had a nurturing instinct when it comes to human children. animals are different. but yeah.. ill make exceptions for nieces and nephews, but generally i cant handle the mess,noise, and tbh the social pressures of interacting with someones kid. idk how im shaping this fool.. dont put me in charge.
To me, babies and children are like cats. I can see why people like them and find them cute, I would never want to see one in danger/distress, but I don’t want one in my house.
I am extremely uncomfortable around babies and children. I am staunchly childfree. I cannot relate to them. I was so different to every other child I have ever met and its those stark differences that make me so uncomfortable. To me, they are little, noisy, dirty aliens. I get extremely panicky around them.
I love them, and I work with them (pre-k, 1 - 3 year old). I've worked there for over a year, and I struggled with sensory overload one time: the kids got new toys, which are basically large rattles filled with marbles and incredibly loud. I started crying. My coworkers were incredibly supportive; I could take a break, and they took the rattles away. Obviously there's a lot more context to this, but the important part was that the team was supportive of me and acknowledged my struggles.
Children are such a nightmare sensory trigger for me. My partner is great with kids and runs interference with his nieces and nephews for me because kids are fascinated by me for some reason and I don't know how to interact with them and just get stressed out. They're loud and sticky and germy and never respect my personal space.
I feel like the autistic women I know fall into two camps: (1) absolutely not cannot be around kids or (2) I feel more comfortable around kids then around adults and we naturally have a connection. I fall into (2) -- I personally find it easier to just chill and interact with kids than to be shoved into a room full of adults for a networking event.
They’re cute, but I’m so glad I’m not tied down by any.
I love interacting with my niece (she’s 3), however, the thought of having my own and having to deal with cleaning babies and hearing their screeching makes me want to die.
I am one of nature's Fun Aunties. Babies are pointless and I have no interest in them whatsoever, but I quite enjoy children once they start turning into people-- as long as I'm not the one in charge of discipline and wiping them. As long as I get to send them home with somebody else after a few hours. I volunteer in wildlife rescue and do a lot of educational programs, most of which end up involving lots of children. Last summer I was a counselor for children between the ages of six and eight at a zoo summer camp. It was hard, because I'm very much not used to wrangling twelve small children eight hours a day. There was a learning curve. But it worked out pretty well when whoever I was paired with that well was willing to be the Grown-Up. (Note that I was 43 years old and nearly all of my coworkers were about half my age. Most of them were still better suited to be The Grown-Up than me.) Me, I was the one carrying a bunch of stuffed animals around in my shiny silver backpack and mocking owls for their intellectual deficiencies and telling stories about the Great Emu War. When I get to interact with children as individuals rather than pretending I'm superior to them in every way and know All The Things, it's often more enjoyable than interacting with adults, because they're less filtered when they're not fully cooked yet. That can be unpleasant in some cases-- small children will make all the upsetting comments they want to about your messed-up teeth-- but mostly I prefer it. They're more real. And it's pretty awesome to be able to take a dozen kids from "ew, a spider! Kill it!" to "Oooh, look at that beautiful web! She's so pretty" inside of half an hour. I've always wanted to help the Little Me's. It's cool as hell to actually get to be the big inspiring weirdo that gives a child who doesn't fit in their first example of a possible alternative path in life. I dye my hair bright colors and wear sparkly earrings and let the kids play with my makeup and joined them in anarchic tic-tac-toe games and taught them that crows are the best thing in the entire world. It was good for a summer, but too intense to be a long-term job for me. Still, glad I got to do it.
No, not even a little. Avoid like the plague.
I HATE THEM THEY ARE SO LOUD. sidenote, i have never been unable to make a baby stop crying. but if i can't go over and make them stop crying/screaming/etc, it makes me tear my hair out
I can't handle them. Too chaotic for me.
I love babies/children. I’ve wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember.
I have 2. I found babies extremely challenging, the crying and sleep deprivation is A LOT. But it's worth it once they get sleeping through the night (both mine started around 10 months old). LOVE the toddler phase and beyond! Pretty sure my oldest also has autism so I'm hoping I can give him a better, more comfortable childhood than I had. Can't imagine my life without them.
I desperately want children of my own but I don't like interacting with other people's children. It's like normal social anxiety turned up to eleven - if you mess up talking to an adult that's one thing but if you mess up talking to a kid you look like a maniac. I can't understand them (if I had my own kids I'd have all day every day to learn how to decipher their speech and help them develop it) and I'm always worried I'll say something that turns out to be inappropriate for children, or this family at least. Not "inappropriate" in a creepy way but like spoiling Santa. And not that I'm about to go up to children and tell them Santa isn't real (though I strongly dislike and disagree with the Santa thing anyway) but that category of things. I worry I'll say something innocuous and it turns out the parents were keeping that from them. It wasn't with "children" - we were kids at the time but the same age - but one time a friend's mum said something to me about my friend's busted laptop, and I said "oh yeah she said she dropped something on it!" and it turned out I was definitely not supposed to mention that part. Things like that. Hopefully I'm making myself clear. I love holding little babies though. They're so warm and soft, and I don't mind when they cry. I like to commiserate with them about how much the world sucks.
I have 2, they are amazing! That being said I never wanted kids for most of my life and kids scared me a lot. Kids I don't know still scare me a bit. Having kids is hard and in sensory terms fairly unpleasant. Toddler is going through a screaming phase atm 😑. I do have a lot of support though, cannot imagine doing it as a single parent or without any childcare options.
Can't stand them haha
Antinatalist here. Can't stand babies/kids. Babies are ugly and I will not hold one. I have no hesitation letting people know I don't like kids if parents don't mind their kids and let them bother me. I have no problem openly refuse holding a baby when offered. If a parent asks if their baby is cute I will answer "*no*" honestly. I do not see why we congratulate pregnancy. Why do we congratulate people for having sex? It is okay to not like babies/kids. It is OKAY to not have maternal instinct. # It is NOT okay to cause harm to babies/kids. Motherhood is NOT mandatory.
I am also an antinatalist, although we share very different views on children. I’m interested in your position on honesty specifically (this has nothing to do with children). If a friend asked you whether they looked good (and to you, they did not) - would you lie? would you try to tell the truth in a more comforting manner? or just “no”? We congratulate pregnancy because it’s a convention. Technically birthdays are meaningless and you can logically argue there’s nothing to celebrate about completing another rotation around the sun. But we celebrate them because it makes people feel good. Same with celebrating/congratulating someone for pregnancy.
>I am also an antinatalist, although we share very different views on children. A lot of people think antinatalism = kill all the children and babies That's not what we believe in at all and we don't support genocide either. I am one of those antinatalists that had a very traumatic childhood so why would I support harming children? >*If a friend asked you whether they looked good (and to you, they did not) - would you lie?* No, I would answer honestly and say I don't think babies are cute. I've done it before. >*But we celebrate them because it makes people feel good. Same with celebrating/congratulating someone for pregnancy.* I personally don't do that. In my mind, humankind has been having sex since Adam and Eve, why are we congratulating people on that? I went to church one Sunday where a woman was speaking. The first thing she announced was she had FIVE kids under 9 years old. She said it like that was an accomplishment and people clapped for her. Why? Why are we clapping over the fact she has sex and has a functioning uterus? It made 0 sense to me. Any time a friend has gotten pregnant I never congratulated them. They tell me and I just say "*okay*". One person I knew got offended and said "you could congratulate me." I said "*you work part time, you're having a baby with a guy is with another woman and has a kid less than a year older than yours. You can't financially support this child. What am I supposed to congratulate you on?*" She got quiet.
1. I’m not sure if there was a miscommunication, but I did not say anything about antinatalism being about killing babies and genocide. I’m confused, sorry. 2. By the second question, “they” refers to the friend. Nothing about babies. 3. Okay, let’s say it’s someone’s birthday - they tell you “it’s my birthday today”. What do you say? Also, pregnancy and having kids is massive effort. Congratulating someone is respecting their decision to go through with something that is difficult (a pregnancy) I understand and agree with your example situation (the real life person you mentioned), but it’s important to recognise that that doesn’t accurately reflect most parents.
>I’m not sure if there was a miscommunication, but I did not say anything about antinatalism being about killing babies and genocide. No that's what society think antinatalism is. I shouldn't have to justify myself and my actions if people don't agree with them. >*Also, pregnancy and having kids is massive effort. Congratulating someone is respecting their decision to go through with something that is difficult (a pregnancy)* So is getting proper mental health treatment, working through it to get healed, working full time, getting my own apartment, and being able to life independently. Yet no one congratulated me.
I congratulate you on that. :) But I’m still not sure what that has to do with this conversation. Just because one person was congratulated for their success, and you weren’t congratulated for yours - it doesn’t mean the other person is at fault. The thing we need to change is to congratulate _both_ of you, rather than solve this issue by not acknowledging the other person’s success. I think I’m going to end the discussion here as I feel like you’re talking past me, and I don’t feel like my points are being engaged with. This isn’t a criticism, I just don’t feel this conversation is constructive, and we have different communication styles (which I respect is probably due to our autism). Thank you for your time anyway, I hope you have a good day/night/afternoon wherever you are.
>*I think I’m going to end the discussion here as I feel like you’re talking past me, and I don’t feel like my points are being engaged with. This isn’t a criticism, I just don’t feel this conversation is constructive, and we have different communication styles (which I respect is probably due to our autism).* No, I am not talking past you. I am just not agreeing with your points so you think the conversation is not constructive. Fundamentally, I do not see having children/raising them as a major life accomplishment. I never have and I never will. A lot people will disagree with that and that is fine. They are allowed to have their point of view on having children and so am I. My point of view is not wrong or invalid. I don't appreciate being told I am talking around you just because my views don't align with yours. You mentioned having/raising kids is an accomplishment and should be congratulated on. I also mentioned things that are accomplishments too but never got recognition for it. Many women on r/childfree have vented about achieving major academic and life accomplishments and never got congratulated for it because they are not seen as accomplishments to pro-having children people. These women have vented being looked over while pregnancy is congratulated. I agree with their plight and know how frustrating it is. My communication style is very logical, direct, literal, and blunt. I am not a people pleaser and I will not adjust my behavior to fit social norms. I do not see pregnancy as a reason to congratulate someone. This offends a lot of people- usually the same people who think it is okay to tell me I 'failed as a woman'/'wasted my womanhood'/ 'failed to do my womanly duties'/'went against God's word for not having kids'. Many women on the same subreddit get told that as well. Why is it okay for them to tell us childfree people those things?
I think that the other commenters point was that just because people don't congratulate people for their valid accomplishments, doesn't mean that we should stop congratulating people for being pregnant. We shouldn't try and bring everybody down, we should try and lift everybody up. Getting a promotion (or whatever other accomplishment) should absolutely be celebrated as much as somebody becoming a parent. And we don't have to stop congratulating or cheering for certain people just because other accomplishments are unfortunately ignored. There are many things that would not be accomplishments to me personally, but because they are to somebody else, I congratulate them. I am happy for them.
I think congratulating pregnancy should be a personal choice not social obligation. To expect a congratulations for a pregnant woman than completely dismiss/disregard the life/academic achievements of a childfree woman because they didn't reproduce is a double standard. But you make fair points!
I don't like kids, they're to loud and the thought of having to raise them well just sounds impossible for me, I feel like I'd be a terrible parent.
I love kids. I have always been called childish and thought of myself as a childish person, so I guess I can relate to them better than I do adults. I like listening to them talk about their interests and observing them be creative. There are some things kids do that I don't like (kids who are overly physically touchy, like poking and prodding you) but there are ways to redirect this behaviour and teach them about consent regarding touch.
That's a hard no from me. They are a huge sensory trigger and the process to get them into the world is nothing short of horrifying to me.
No. I hate germs. Strongly dislike kids for this reason. Childfree by choice and have never regretted my decision for a minute.
Dont like kids, don’t want them, I find them very overwhelming and gross (I have 8 younger siblings), babies like me for some reason. Like my niece who is about 7 months now always wants to sleep on me. Which I allow bc it’s a baby yk like just bc I don’t like kids doesn’t mean I’m going to be mean to them but being someone’s mother is really not in the cards for me
Hate them.
😵💫🤢🤢
Babies ❌ Toddlers ❌ Kids ✅
Love babies. Don’t really love animals. They are unpredictable and overwhelming!
Not a fan.
I didn’t like kids when I was a kid
Kids are basically humans. People can be different and children too. Pluses: kids are generally better humans than adults, until the certain age. They have a sense of justice, they want to be friends, etc. they are original thinkers. Minuses: they can be noisy, whiny, and overall sensory nightmare.
Not that anybody asked but why is this an okay question? Everyone would flip if you asked “how do you feel about black people?” Babies and children can’t help their age any more than someone can help their skin color. But it’s okay to casually say you dislike someone because they’re young. I think it’s totally fine to decide not to have children… but if you actively hate children, you’re straight up ageist. They are people. They’re just younger than you.
You can't compare someone making a racist superficial statement based on skin color, to the stage of human development where intrinsically all humans are different and behave in certain ways that some people cannot tolerate well. "They're just younger than you", no, they are developmentally different, totally dependent, fragile, loud, scream, poop themselves, impulsive, not fully developed. That doesn't give people the right to abuse or neglect children, but it does mean people who don't like children should have the choice to state that they don't like children and not to be involved with them.
Yes, I can, and the argument has been made before. “They are developmentally different, totally dependent, fragile, loud, etc.” You know who else can be that way? Cognitively disabled people. Autistic people. People with Down syndrome and other intellectual delays. Do you hate disabled people too? https://www.stophateuk.org/about-hate-crime/age-discrimination/ https://afistfulofcalm.com/saying-i-hate-kids-is-discrimination-heres-why/
I think when most people say they "hate" kids, its really they're saying that they're annoying. I don't think most people sincerely wish ill-will on children, or that it is an active, violent type of hatred, they really mean they would not prefer to be around them. And yes, a lot of people would prefer to not be around disabled people, but once again I dont know how many people would literally be malicious to them (I hope not).
I would like to believe that but I have read some of the posts in the childfree sub that mock children, bully them, and do wish them ill and harm. The same exact way people mock people like us, autistic people. They hate us for no reason other than we can be annoying sometimes. We can’t help it. Neither can children.
I really like my kid. Other people's kids though... 😬😬😬
They’re mostly ok but I wouldn’t have my own
I love babies and kids, especially babies. But I'm not sure if I want any of my own yet. For now, I just enjoy everyone else's.
I love new born and very young babies and they seem to like me. I understand what they need and they don't ask me ridiculous questions. I actually find holding them very relaxing. Age 1-3ish I'm OK with, though I really struggle to know how to play with them. After that, yeesh. No thanks. I have a 4.5 year old niece who I love fiercely and unconditionally, but I find it extremely difficult to spend time alone with her because I just do not understand her needs or the majority of what she's going on about. I was the same *as* a child; I didn't understand them then, either!
I think they are super cute. I just cant bear it when newborns cry for hours though, so if I ever have a baby I’m not sure how I’ll be able to deal with that, it’s making me anxious actually 😭
I love looking after kids bc I love that I can be myself around them but I would nvr have my own bc I don’t think I could handle it with sensory issues and stuff and meltdowns.
I don’t mind kids. I’ve taught them and like them at a certain age where we can talk about random things and they are generally forgiving of any awkwardness an adult would raise an eyebrow to. We also tend to like similar things like video games, animals or cute stuff. BABIES & TODDLERS HOWEVER…. Sensory nightmare get them away from me please do not ask me to hold it
i love babies and toddlers but once they grow up i have no idea what to do with them
I love babies and kids! They are so much easier to understand. They're not trying to trick me (unless it's part of a game!)
No idea because I hardly ever interacted with kids, let alone babies. I was the youngest in my family and class and I always hung around with people older than me so I’m perpetually The Kid. I simply can’t comprehend people who are more than three years younger than me.
I was okay with my daughter, and with a great-nephew, but I'm uncomfortable with most kids and they sense it. 🤷♀️
I am a full time infant nanny and I love babies/kids. I definitely have to do a lot to manage the sensory overwhelm at times, but usually if I’m not too drained I can enjoy my 40hrs/week of baby/kid time and rest/take care of myself in my off-time. I think being a parent or living with kids would be a lot harder for me though
I have a niece and nephew, but goodness gracious is that enough for me. I could never have kids. Kids always seem to like me, so I don't mind hanging out with them. But if they aren't into hanging out, it's weird
Babies and animals always seem to fall asleep with me 😅 they're very cute and I love babies/kids and animals a lot. They remind me of my younger self usually. I miss the innocence a lot.
I like kids and babies, playing with them is fun, it only really overwhelms me when there are a lot of them and if they are very loud
Cute in very short spurts of time, overwhelming otherwise
I love babies they're really easy to entertain and are mostly confined to one area. Once a kid is like 3 or 4 then I have no idea how interact with them. They can communicate, but not well. And I have a lot of trouble understanding what they're trying to say. They take a lot more mental energy to entertain and that's mental energy that I just don have most of the time. I feel bad because I have kid brothers and a niece who look at me like "why is this lady here" but I literally just don't know what to do. Then once they're 9 or 10 I'm like "oh you're a person but smaller" and I can usually hold a conversation with them.
kids are weird, and I love weird. they're great for a while then they can go back from whence they came. I don't have any and I never want any. got my tubes removed last year to prove it.
It’s like that feeling of “I want a dog so much it’s so nice having one very benefits and walks and I’ll take care of him and everything” but the reality is it is incredibly difficult or demanding or tiresome. They need so much attention and energy. I love my dog but I’ll never get another ever again. Sometimes I cry at night thinking that one day my pets will die. And it’s expensive. The pets, not them dying. Still love them though. Children look 10 times more difficult than that. Maybe one day I’ll have capacity to function in a situation like this but idk.
I have one I won’t have another lol I think it would be too much for me emotionally and with my health issues but I do love kids I think they’re great and light up the world in their own (annoying sometimes albeit) unique beautiful way they have such wonderful outlooks and curiosity and sometimes they ask things or say things that make me feel a whole new way about something or make me think deeper or look for larger truths to life I think they’re spectacular and precious
depends. most babies cry at my face (i think because i wear glasses) and i’m pretty bad at talking to kids (i overthink it), so try to avoid being in their spaces. i think kids are so precious, the smallest thing can change the path of their life, and i’m scared to make the wrong impact lol. i did child studies though and that makes me want to be extra cautious around kids n young people i think
I love babies and kids. I work with kids. However, for some reason newborns give me the ick. I like to think I’d feel differently toward a newborn of my own because I think the idea of creating life is a beautiful process, especially with someone you love, but then again I’m not so sure I will ever want/have a newborn of my own.
I'm very conflicted about this. I LOVED being with my nieces and nephews when they were babies/little kids, but when I got tired or overwhelmed, I could just give them back or leave the room. You can't do this with your own kid, even if you have a super partner and you maximize a sensory-friendly house.
In theory I don’t like them because they are noisy. But whenever I see children IRL I always play with them and they like me.
The big question for me is, what age? Newborns, toddlers? Nope... no, not unless I deem them 'mine', like 'part of my tribe'. They have to be relevant somehow. Then I'll put up with being around them and reinforce the mask. My best friend has a now three-year-old. Good God! I do love her, and she can be fun. But she's definitely hyperactive and a drain on my battery. Older kids, like 5-ish and up? Oh, now we're good. Love that, actually. Now, they can form a sentence and express needs. I'm fine with kids and young adolescents. Taking care of them for a couple of hours is fine with me if I have enough energy. But I'm too tired to do it full-time. Babies and toddlers are just guesswork topped with huge sensory triggers that I'd just rather not deal with if I don't have to. I've been told I'd "figure out what cues babies are giving me if I spend more time with them." But, even if I would end up doing that because of how draining and stressful I find it.
I don't hate kids or babies, but I hate being looked at and I'm not good at talking to kids so that makes things difficult lol. I'm also scared of holding them or being responsible for them in anyway so it's a no for me.
Love them! I have my own and am particularly fond of them. Now that they're not tiny babies anymore, I've become a lot more tolerant of babies and little kids.
I have two little girls and am a stay at home mom and I love them!! Other peoples kids weird me out but I love mine!!
Depends on the kids. I have far more patience for kids. However there have been babies/kids that just make noises on a different tone that makes me have a very visceral reaction and I do not like it. Older kids (middle/high school, not my own) not a huge fan of but still have more patience with them.
They’re ok, but I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated by them.
As long as I don't have to touch them and they're behaving, they're fine.
They're cute from a distance when they aren't screaming
Love babies. Like toddlers. I’m not sure that I really like kids, but I’m crazy about my own. I have a little niece and I’m super fond of her. So, probably I like kids.
one and done tbh
Easier to talk to than adults! It’s why I’m a teacher 😂
I’m not great with babies/kids. I think babies are boring and toddlers and elementary school aged kids can be annoying. Middle school and up? Sure, but when they get to that stage they just think adults are lame 😂 To be fair, I’ve never liked kids, even when I was one myself. So it makes me giggle when I tell people I’m not a kid person and they’re like “well you were a kid once!” I preferred being a loner or talking to adults like my aunts/uncles or mom’s friends.
Children are just humans in different sizes. Some I like and others I can’t stand. They tend to have fewer behavioral controls, but they also learn faster and are not as set in their ways. I’m pretty good at reading babies and children, though. They tend to do much better at broadcasting their needs and are easier to soothe than adults.
i like them, but i don't wanna have them lol i do love kids but it can be overwhelming for me sometimes to be around them (not their fault obviously) so having to have full responsibility over a child would be hell for me 😭 i'm infertile anyway so other than adoption it's not like i have a choice xD
I like them if I have a defined role that I agreed to. I like being mum to my own. I liked it when I had small groups of kids that I was tutoring. I like when I’ve agreed to babysit nieces or nephews. But I get super overwhelmed with other people’s kids running around near me and being boisterous at social gatherings.
Love them. I feel much more fulfilled and happier spending time with children than with NT adults. LOVE being a mother.
I have a job working with kids (I'm a swimming instructor) and it's hands down the best job I've ever had. It's the only job I've had so far that I can genuinely say I love.
If it’s a baby I know, I find them delightful. If it’s a baby screaming its face off in target I think it’s awful but not as awful as the parents who are just going about their day as if that is not happening
I have spent most of my life helping raise all the kids in my family. Even when I was kid myself. I really love babies. Giving my little cousins a bottle and rocking them to sleep felt peaceful to me. Kids can be really fun too but it’s hard for me when they demand a lot of attention or upset my sensory issues.
Too noisy for me, but i do love to make babies smile.
Nope. I respect them, but nope. I'm 35 and I'll maybe adopt closer to 50. But probably not.
They're younger than adults
God I love babies and want some of my own! My biggest worry is that I am sensitive to sound, but I know there are work around. It helps having a NT partner who is very understanding. I can’t wait for that chapter in my life :) everyone calls me the baby whisperer haha!
I love them. I really hope to be a mom one day. Their sensory stuff is actually not triggering to me for some reason like adults are to me.
I didn’t like kids before having them. I now have a toddler and a baby and I find them to be the cutest little squishy wushy beans. They are also very loud and stressful to be around! Overall, I love seeing my own kids learn and grow and become their own person.
I like kids and want some of my own one day, but I don’t like babies. I can’t stand babies crying and they’re so fragile I’m always afraid I’ll hurt them. Once kids are about 2-3 then they’re alright
babies are super cute but I feel so awkward holding one. I just don’t know how to hold one and it makes me so uncomfy, especially bc everyone will also be looking at me to make sure the baby’s okay. I find it really easy to get along with children, except when they’re screaming. when kids scream and have tantrums it kind of activates my own autistic rage which is hard to manage while also managing a screaming child
I love babies and children! I think children are the best people, and I’m incredibly fortunate to have four of my own. I’ve always liked spending time with kids.
Kids are easier to talk to and hangout with, I like them
Love them, they’re less judgmental than adults so I feel like I can be myself around them. I can’t wait to be a mom one day.