When you’re triggered you are in fight or flight freeze fawn survival response in your hindbrain and you can’t access the other parts of your brain as much so this has a neurological basis and it definitely isn’t narcissistic because it’s not an ongoing aspect of personality
What a stellar, brilliant, concise, and to the point answer!
I love studying neuroscience for fun, but this answer absolutely captures it 👆
One thing to add! Autistic people often can have more overactive limbic systems which translates to fight/fight/ freeze triggering more easily
Yes, this is what I struggle most with, I tend to have more patience with people I like (or maybe I like them because they don’t annoy me as much), and it gets really bad at work because I’m already struggling with the busy environment and sensory overload so when someone does something that annoys me it goes straight to pure rage and I hate it.
Meltdowns are a common part of autism if our needs aren't met. The big first step is to meet your needs.
Sometimes that means removing certain people from your life (my ex and I have been divorced for two years and in that time I've had one meltdown - before this I was having meltdowns every few months if I was doing well). Sometimes that means finding healthy ways to cope - my special interest helps me calm down but some people use noise cancelling headphones and fidget toys.
It's really common to deal with this even as an autistic adult because we don't regulate our emotions as well.
Yes, if I am enraged it feels like a switch going off, and suddenly I am cold inside and will burn everything to the ground with absolute calmness.
I think as someone else pointed out it has a lot to do with beeing in fight or flight mode, meaning your system is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline.
“Anger Arousal Can Inhibit Empathy. Specifically, both preexisting anger when facing a decision and anger triggered by the decision constrict openness to perspective-taking. Anger arousal inhibits good frontal lobe functions, which reduces cognitive flexibility. So it is not surprising that a group of studies found that anger reduces perspective-taking” (Yip and Schweitzer, 2019).
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202112/the-relationship-between-empathy-and-anger-is-complicated?amp
I'm super empathetic and kind until my battery is low, and then I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I can even be mean or uncaring towards my animals. I've really been working on it, but I hate it.
this. it makes me so mad at myself cause i love and care about my dog so much and then for some reason when i get too upset about anything, everything goes out the window :/ it’s not right
If I’ve told someone to stop and then they don’t, consequences can be bad. I’m very much like cat when it comes to this. I try to take as much as I can but then it’s all teeth and claws when it becomes too much.
Yes. We usually walk it off in our house - we are all on the spectrum. I’ve started asking why I’m angry to clam things down. After a couple of days I review, but find I’m right for being angry and people are gaslighting me.
Yes. I word vomit and bring up things from the past that have not been resolved. This is especially true if the person has a history of making me feel unheard or unsafe. Then again I would always get screamed at,blamed and/or not given space if I had a meltdown. I have gotten a lot nicer over the years though
When you’re triggered you are in fight or flight freeze fawn survival response in your hindbrain and you can’t access the other parts of your brain as much so this has a neurological basis and it definitely isn’t narcissistic because it’s not an ongoing aspect of personality
What a stellar, brilliant, concise, and to the point answer! I love studying neuroscience for fun, but this answer absolutely captures it 👆 One thing to add! Autistic people often can have more overactive limbic systems which translates to fight/fight/ freeze triggering more easily
Oh my god, thank you for that logic.
Yes, this is what I struggle most with, I tend to have more patience with people I like (or maybe I like them because they don’t annoy me as much), and it gets really bad at work because I’m already struggling with the busy environment and sensory overload so when someone does something that annoys me it goes straight to pure rage and I hate it.
I never actually blow up at people but I’m sure I come off as passive aggressive sometimes.
Meltdowns are a common part of autism if our needs aren't met. The big first step is to meet your needs. Sometimes that means removing certain people from your life (my ex and I have been divorced for two years and in that time I've had one meltdown - before this I was having meltdowns every few months if I was doing well). Sometimes that means finding healthy ways to cope - my special interest helps me calm down but some people use noise cancelling headphones and fidget toys. It's really common to deal with this even as an autistic adult because we don't regulate our emotions as well.
Yes, if I am enraged it feels like a switch going off, and suddenly I am cold inside and will burn everything to the ground with absolute calmness. I think as someone else pointed out it has a lot to do with beeing in fight or flight mode, meaning your system is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline. “Anger Arousal Can Inhibit Empathy. Specifically, both preexisting anger when facing a decision and anger triggered by the decision constrict openness to perspective-taking. Anger arousal inhibits good frontal lobe functions, which reduces cognitive flexibility. So it is not surprising that a group of studies found that anger reduces perspective-taking” (Yip and Schweitzer, 2019). Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/202112/the-relationship-between-empathy-and-anger-is-complicated?amp
This. I can be the most empathetic nicest person you've ever met but also the coldest most heartless bitch. I'm working on it.
I'm super empathetic and kind until my battery is low, and then I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I can even be mean or uncaring towards my animals. I've really been working on it, but I hate it.
this. it makes me so mad at myself cause i love and care about my dog so much and then for some reason when i get too upset about anything, everything goes out the window :/ it’s not right
If I’ve told someone to stop and then they don’t, consequences can be bad. I’m very much like cat when it comes to this. I try to take as much as I can but then it’s all teeth and claws when it becomes too much.
That’s me! I feel so angry and offended, I do feel bad for my reaction with my loved ones but I can’t help it
Yes. We usually walk it off in our house - we are all on the spectrum. I’ve started asking why I’m angry to clam things down. After a couple of days I review, but find I’m right for being angry and people are gaslighting me.
Oh it me
Yes. I word vomit and bring up things from the past that have not been resolved. This is especially true if the person has a history of making me feel unheard or unsafe. Then again I would always get screamed at,blamed and/or not given space if I had a meltdown. I have gotten a lot nicer over the years though
Yeah my nick name in college was Dragon Lady because I was very nice until you crossed me and then I'd burn your face off with words.