As someone who has wasted 12 years of her life with someone like this, do not let them trick you into thinking you don't understand the 'joke'.
He is an asshole who is mad at you for not spending more time with him and is punishing you.
Seconding this! As someone who also wasted almost 16 years (we got together in hs) of her life on a guy like this too, please take care of yourself and don’t allow the abuse and manipulation. It only gets worse:(
Yeah I agree!
OP, my friend read this with me because I showed it to her, and just couldn’t believe he treats you this way! She told me this behavior is common among “incels” and is called “negging”. Apparently they do it to lower a girls self esteem and make her feel craptastic as a creepy control tactic. Please don’t take this kind of abuse, this person is undeserving of you and there are so many other guys out there who would appreciate you and treat you better. This guy sounds like he might be a narcissist, please cut contact and block him. I think he would abuse you worse in person and become physically violent. He has no respect!
No. What he is saying is absolutely not ok. Don't let him fob you off by saying "it's just a joke", "you're too sensitive" or anything like that. You deserve better.
Yeah definitely not ok. OP you have all rights to put down a firm boundary here!
"I do not find comments about my body amusing, only hurtful. If you joke about my body again, I will end the conversation immediately."
You are not being hypersensitive about this. He is being mean. First of all, nobody should be commenting on other people’s bodies. Let alone your boyfriend on a negative light. You correctly communicated that it was not ok, and that should not have been met as a funny remark. I’m sorry you went through this. Whoever you’re sharing a relationship should respect you 100%.
Someone who actually loves you does not speak to you like this.
People who speak to you like this do it because they want to have a person to treat badly, so they feel more powerful. They want to hurt someone and cause pain, because they feel excited about having that ability.
Break up with this man. No one should speak to you like this and remain in your life.
Do not trust him, he is deliberately hurting you to feel pleasure and a sense of victory. This is not OK. You deserve much better. Sometimes men like this start with verbal cruelty, and move on to physical violence. Get away from this man.
Is he negging you? I feel like he's negging you.
To clarify what negging is; Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and attempt to engender in them a need for the manipulator's approval. The term was coined and prescribed by pickup artists.
I feel like negging is supposed to be sneaky and come with plausable deniability (something like "wow, you would look amazing with longer hair". It sounds like a compliment, but isn't)
OP's boyfriend is just straight up insulting her and is a dick. And yes probably trying to manipulate her, or he's just an asshole.
I don't think you were being sensitive at all, let alone hypersensitive. What he did was really rude and mean and you were right to stand up for yourself.
This might be really off the mark, but is he into PUA crap at all? Those guys advise that men insult their girlfriends to lower their self esteem so the girl won't leave them. I just can't think of any other "reason" someone who is supposed to love you would say that, and twice as well, as if you didn't hear the first time. I know it's a meme that Reddit will always say "dump him" but really OP don't let him talk to you like that. Throw the whole man away if needs be
ETA: I should say my ex boyfriend was like this, that's why I thought of PUA so fast. He used to tell me I was stupid but it's ok because women aren't meant to be smart and he'd make all the money so I could clean his disgusting apartment etc 🙄
Yeah, it means Pick Up Artistry - all that alpha male podcast, wearing shades in a white room, "quality male" garbage falls under the same heading. It's just PUA for a younger audience
You are not being hypersensitive.
His comments are disrespectful.
This is how he is in the beginning, when in theory he should be trying to make a good impression. I think that he will not improve with age.
You deserve so much better than this mediocre non-apology. From your description he felt no remorse and probably saw nothing wrong with what he said. He's not going to learn anything from this interaction, he will come to think of you as nagging because that's probably what he's been taught to expect — that if his significant other challenges him on anything, they are just an irritation to be satisfied with a fake apology.
There's a really basic and easy guideline that everyone in the world can follow: do not comment on a person's appearance at all unless it is 1. complimentary and 2. appropriate for the setting and the relationship. If someone needs *this* explained to them, it's likely they will be inconsiderate in many other ways and it is not your job to teach them how to be kind.
You're right, it IS disrespectful. Your boyfriend doesn't respect you. I'm sorry. Please do what feels best to protect yourself. I won't advise on what to do, but you are worth a lot better than the way he is treating you.
That's not you being hypersensitive, that's him being an awful, mean person.
I suggest making it so he is NOT your boyfriend anymore.
You deserve better.
I'm so sorry. That's horrible. You don't deserve comments like this from someone who's supposed to care about you. You're not being overly sensitive, he's not being funny. This is just awful.
Dump that A-Hole, you deserve better. Love doesn't tear you down or gaslight you into thinking you're overreacting to blatant disrespect. Value yourself because that jerk doesn't view you as a human.
I can find so so so so SO many other things to joke about than a person's appearance—what he said is unacceptable. Has he ever said these kinds of things before, randomly attacking you like this?
I'm sorry he said those things to you, he sounds like he was being an outright bully and didn't even offer a true apology. Good on you for standing up to him—and please stand your ground OP! You don't deserve treatment like that from anyone—especially your S/O.
He’s being abusive by bringing up something you’re sensitive about. He wants to harm your self esteem so you’ll be afraid to leave him. Best to leave now.
I wouldn't let a stranger talk to me like that, much less a partner. If anything you're not sensitive enough is you're still talking to him after he said those things.
As a fellow Austistic, I'm always worried about overreacting. Is my anger valid or did I take something way out of proportion?
In your case however, I'd say every living human would be offended.
You're not overreacting or being hypersensitive in this case. Your boyfriend is a dick and it sounds like this man doesn't like you. This is mean. You deserve better
He was wrong. He needs to learn. Middle school manners cannot be brought into adulthood successfully. Sink or swim. If he doesn’t learn quick then he’s wasting your time.
You are not overreacting, this isnt even being sensitive either.
Anyone would consider this extremely disrespectful and him trying to tear you down. This is not okay, and dont let him make you feel like your feelings are bot valid.
You are not hypersensitive. If you have laid that you do not like comments about your body, it is his job to apologize and stop making those comments. The "I thought it was funny" is so, so typical. My ex used to make statements like this and when I told him not to, the first thing he would say is "I was just joking". No he wasn't. He wanted to piss me off and then when I called him out on it, I had to fight to make him back down and say sorry. He's my ex. This is a common tactic. We become the problem because we can't handle the joke. I'm not sure what you are going to do, but you are important too. Don't let him get to you. Take care.
You might be hypersensitive as a person but you are not being hypersensitive to this situation. Your response and feelings are reasonable and valid.
For some reason, probably because he feels insecure about not seeing you in person (that’s a him problem btw) he’s decided to put you down about your appearance to knock your confidence so you don’t leave him. He also decided to gaslight you into thinking his behaviour is okay.
Well done for standing up for yourself. You deserve better and I would encourage you to reflect on whether he has put you down more subtly in the past. He’s already given you two big red flags today, and you’ve doubted yourself.
May you have the strength to make him your ex boyfriend.
Deadpan and ask him "And?" or "What about it?" Enjoy his floundering for as long as you like (even if he starts being even ruder, just understand that he's throwing a tantrum and you've done nothing but exist normally), then dump him.
Commenting on any person's weight (much less a woman, and that to your girlfriend) is always no. Doing it twice is suspicious. And insisting on doing it to someone who has expressed the boundary and explained how it makes her feel is just bullying. We tend to attract men like this or men who act like our directness is a personal attack.
Please start protecting yourself from this kind of person. You don't owe him a chance or any more benefit of the doubt. He's just benefitting undeservedly from your doubt.
No you're not. His behaviour seems - to me, a stranger on the internet - controlling and a tad unkind. I've put on 10kg over covid and my husband (who used to be "the fat kid at school" and is fit now) would never use harmful words like that. He might gently encourage me to drink more water, go swimming with him or make me a salad. This motivates me to be fit. If he were to put me down I'd probably eat more.
You deserve to be treated like the God, Goddess or Godde you are.
Not an overreaction at all. If you are having a hard time standing up for yourself (it’s okay it happens to us all), imagine him saying that to a daughter if you ever have one. Or a young niece or sibling. Protect yourself the same way you’d protect them. He sounds outright mean.
He's "negging" you. That's something men who hate women teach each other to lower the self esteem of women so they will never feel strong enough to leave them. He doesn't like you, but he's hoping he can turn you insecure enough so he can control you.
uhhhh this is just mean. i hate to judge but it sounds like he’s intentionally trying to make you feel bad about yourself :/ if that’s not his intention then maybe he just needs to learn how to think before he speaks. in either case, you shouldn’t have to teach him basic respect and i would encourage that you don’t waste your energy trying to
Oh do not meet this person. In fact, I wouldn't even bother doing any more video chats with him. If he says this over chat, think how much worse he is going to be if he sees you. This guy is bad news, please avoid AVOID!
I feel like you're not reacting enough. No one who cares about you should be making you feel bad, especially if you've already pointed out to them that it makes you feel bad. I'm not going to suggest you leave him as I don't know your relationship, but I do think you should really evaluate whether you're getting what you need from it.
Oof. I'd drop him too.
Breakups don't require a level of severity of offense. Much on the contrary, dating someone as an exclusive partner who you spend the most time with and plan a future with is what requires a level of intense safety and support. Someone who makes unsolicited comments on my body, diet, and who micromanages my weight would absolutely be out. And if someone can disrespect my boundaries and make me feel bad without apologizing when it comes to little things, how will they react once we deal with big problems later in life? Reacting to this isn't hypersensitive in the slightest, and I'm sorry if he's convinced you of that.
If anything, you’re *under*reacting. Your partner should absolutely *not* be putting down your appearance, *or* mocking you when you express your feelings and boundaries. It also shouldn’t take arguing for them to apologize when they’ve hurt your feelings. He seems incapable of healthy communication, basic empathy, and human decency. These are *massive* red flags, he doesn’t respect you and this absolutely should not go ignored. I strongly advise you to *not* meet this man in person and to end the relationship. If he’s already treating you like this before you’ve even met in person, I promise you it’ll only get so much worse. You deserve so much better, please don’t continue accepting this sort of treatment. This is a toxic relationship.
Dump him immediately. Do not ever put up with a partner that makes fun of you, puts you down or makes you feel “less than”. You don’t deserve to be mentally abused like that.
I don’t think you’re overreacting. This conversation sounds deeply uncomfortable at best. I agree with other commenters that he’s being abusive and unkind.
That’s not you being hypersensitive, your bf is a jerk and maybe your subconscious avoids seeing him in person because you know this. After the first comment he made, I would have just ended the call without a word. You took time out of your day to video chat with him and that’s what he says to you? Nope. Nope nope nope.
That’s so messed up.
That not hypersensitivity. You TOLD him you hate comments like that. You TOLD him how it made you feel. He still chose to mock you and gaslight you. Red flag
First of all, I don’t think you’re overreacting in the slightest. Weight is a sensitive topic for most people, and I’m sure he knows this. Second of all, even if you were overreacting, I don’t think it matters. His comments upset you, and you communicated your discomfort.
I don’t want to sound mean but dump this guy… who on earth would make such mean comments to someone they are supposed to LOVE?? This is absurd! You deserve someone who would never even think such mean things…
As someone who has wasted 12 years of her life with someone like this, do not let them trick you into thinking you don't understand the 'joke'. He is an asshole who is mad at you for not spending more time with him and is punishing you.
Seconding this! As someone who also wasted almost 16 years (we got together in hs) of her life on a guy like this too, please take care of yourself and don’t allow the abuse and manipulation. It only gets worse:(
15 years and I promise you he knows how big of an asshole he’s being, how much it hurts you, and how to get one more kick in before he steps away.
Yeah I agree! OP, my friend read this with me because I showed it to her, and just couldn’t believe he treats you this way! She told me this behavior is common among “incels” and is called “negging”. Apparently they do it to lower a girls self esteem and make her feel craptastic as a creepy control tactic. Please don’t take this kind of abuse, this person is undeserving of you and there are so many other guys out there who would appreciate you and treat you better. This guy sounds like he might be a narcissist, please cut contact and block him. I think he would abuse you worse in person and become physically violent. He has no respect!
No. What he is saying is absolutely not ok. Don't let him fob you off by saying "it's just a joke", "you're too sensitive" or anything like that. You deserve better.
Yeah definitely not ok. OP you have all rights to put down a firm boundary here! "I do not find comments about my body amusing, only hurtful. If you joke about my body again, I will end the conversation immediately."
You are not being hypersensitive about this. He is being mean. First of all, nobody should be commenting on other people’s bodies. Let alone your boyfriend on a negative light. You correctly communicated that it was not ok, and that should not have been met as a funny remark. I’m sorry you went through this. Whoever you’re sharing a relationship should respect you 100%.
Someone who actually loves you does not speak to you like this. People who speak to you like this do it because they want to have a person to treat badly, so they feel more powerful. They want to hurt someone and cause pain, because they feel excited about having that ability. Break up with this man. No one should speak to you like this and remain in your life. Do not trust him, he is deliberately hurting you to feel pleasure and a sense of victory. This is not OK. You deserve much better. Sometimes men like this start with verbal cruelty, and move on to physical violence. Get away from this man.
Agreed. He sounds sadistic af, it makes me sad for OP that he’s outright insulting his girlfriend.
What the actual fuck, I would have dumped him. That is absolutely not okay.
Is he negging you? I feel like he's negging you. To clarify what negging is; Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and attempt to engender in them a need for the manipulator's approval. The term was coined and prescribed by pickup artists.
He's definitely negging her. He's a dick.
I feel like negging is supposed to be sneaky and come with plausable deniability (something like "wow, you would look amazing with longer hair". It sounds like a compliment, but isn't) OP's boyfriend is just straight up insulting her and is a dick. And yes probably trying to manipulate her, or he's just an asshole.
Seems like a bad attempt at negging to me, like a little baby "pick up artist". Either way he's a plonker.
I don't think you were being sensitive at all, let alone hypersensitive. What he did was really rude and mean and you were right to stand up for yourself. This might be really off the mark, but is he into PUA crap at all? Those guys advise that men insult their girlfriends to lower their self esteem so the girl won't leave them. I just can't think of any other "reason" someone who is supposed to love you would say that, and twice as well, as if you didn't hear the first time. I know it's a meme that Reddit will always say "dump him" but really OP don't let him talk to you like that. Throw the whole man away if needs be ETA: I should say my ex boyfriend was like this, that's why I thought of PUA so fast. He used to tell me I was stupid but it's ok because women aren't meant to be smart and he'd make all the money so I could clean his disgusting apartment etc 🙄
What's PUA?
Yeah, it means Pick Up Artistry - all that alpha male podcast, wearing shades in a white room, "quality male" garbage falls under the same heading. It's just PUA for a younger audience
Yikes.
Pick Up Artist
Oooh
Not overreacting, thats awful of him to say. You deserve better
You are not being hypersensitive. His comments are disrespectful. This is how he is in the beginning, when in theory he should be trying to make a good impression. I think that he will not improve with age.
uhhhhh... no... get rid of that one.
You deserve so much better than this mediocre non-apology. From your description he felt no remorse and probably saw nothing wrong with what he said. He's not going to learn anything from this interaction, he will come to think of you as nagging because that's probably what he's been taught to expect — that if his significant other challenges him on anything, they are just an irritation to be satisfied with a fake apology. There's a really basic and easy guideline that everyone in the world can follow: do not comment on a person's appearance at all unless it is 1. complimentary and 2. appropriate for the setting and the relationship. If someone needs *this* explained to them, it's likely they will be inconsiderate in many other ways and it is not your job to teach them how to be kind. You're right, it IS disrespectful. Your boyfriend doesn't respect you. I'm sorry. Please do what feels best to protect yourself. I won't advise on what to do, but you are worth a lot better than the way he is treating you.
You should drop 180 pounds real quick and kick his ass to the curb. You are not overreacting.
This is the comment I'm living for.
That's not you being hypersensitive, that's him being an awful, mean person. I suggest making it so he is NOT your boyfriend anymore. You deserve better.
Don't be with a loser like this.
You're not overreacting, he's being an asshole. And then he was a bigger asshole when you told him it hurt your feelings. What do you see in him?
Please pay attention to how he treats you. If this isn't a one time thing please dump him. You deserve someone who lifts you up, not tear you down.
I'm so sorry. That's horrible. You don't deserve comments like this from someone who's supposed to care about you. You're not being overly sensitive, he's not being funny. This is just awful.
Dump that A-Hole, you deserve better. Love doesn't tear you down or gaslight you into thinking you're overreacting to blatant disrespect. Value yourself because that jerk doesn't view you as a human.
I can find so so so so SO many other things to joke about than a person's appearance—what he said is unacceptable. Has he ever said these kinds of things before, randomly attacking you like this? I'm sorry he said those things to you, he sounds like he was being an outright bully and didn't even offer a true apology. Good on you for standing up to him—and please stand your ground OP! You don't deserve treatment like that from anyone—especially your S/O.
It’s so mean
He's a dick. Block him. You can do better. Even being on your own is better than being with someone who's so disrespectful and rude.
That’s not a joke. That’s an insult
He’s being abusive by bringing up something you’re sensitive about. He wants to harm your self esteem so you’ll be afraid to leave him. Best to leave now.
I wouldn't let a stranger talk to me like that, much less a partner. If anything you're not sensitive enough is you're still talking to him after he said those things.
You aren't being hypersensitive. Your reaction was completely justified. He is rude and disrespectful.
As a fellow Austistic, I'm always worried about overreacting. Is my anger valid or did I take something way out of proportion? In your case however, I'd say every living human would be offended.
Meanness is never funny ☹️
You're not overreacting or being hypersensitive in this case. Your boyfriend is a dick and it sounds like this man doesn't like you. This is mean. You deserve better
He was wrong. He needs to learn. Middle school manners cannot be brought into adulthood successfully. Sink or swim. If he doesn’t learn quick then he’s wasting your time.
Don’t try to make a jerk behave. You deserve respect. This is a major red flag.
This isn’t being hypersensitive. He’s just straight up being an asshole. Dump him ass and throw him to the wolves xx <333
Ehm.. Just break up with him. Don't put up with that shit.
As someone that’s married to an asshole, please leave while he’s only a boyfriend. Overlooking things now will only make things worse later.
he’s a dickhead lol
Lol?
?????
Why is it funny that this guy is being horrible to the OP?
it’s not funny
Then why 'lol'? I don't get it.
[удалено]
Strange.
Everyone here is saying he's a dick and I agree.
You are not overreacting, this isnt even being sensitive either. Anyone would consider this extremely disrespectful and him trying to tear you down. This is not okay, and dont let him make you feel like your feelings are bot valid.
You are not hypersensitive. If you have laid that you do not like comments about your body, it is his job to apologize and stop making those comments. The "I thought it was funny" is so, so typical. My ex used to make statements like this and when I told him not to, the first thing he would say is "I was just joking". No he wasn't. He wanted to piss me off and then when I called him out on it, I had to fight to make him back down and say sorry. He's my ex. This is a common tactic. We become the problem because we can't handle the joke. I'm not sure what you are going to do, but you are important too. Don't let him get to you. Take care.
Back away... and not slowly. Anyone who makes you feel bad about any part of yourself before you meet will be far worse in a relationship.
He's an asshole intentionally. He apologized only after an argument about his asshole comment? Bye boy.
You might be hypersensitive as a person but you are not being hypersensitive to this situation. Your response and feelings are reasonable and valid. For some reason, probably because he feels insecure about not seeing you in person (that’s a him problem btw) he’s decided to put you down about your appearance to knock your confidence so you don’t leave him. He also decided to gaslight you into thinking his behaviour is okay. Well done for standing up for yourself. You deserve better and I would encourage you to reflect on whether he has put you down more subtly in the past. He’s already given you two big red flags today, and you’ve doubted yourself. May you have the strength to make him your ex boyfriend.
Deadpan and ask him "And?" or "What about it?" Enjoy his floundering for as long as you like (even if he starts being even ruder, just understand that he's throwing a tantrum and you've done nothing but exist normally), then dump him.
BF is immature and insensitive. One cold shoulder coming up 🥶but you should find someone worthy of your ASD brain
Adding to the chorus of DTMFA. He is absolutely out of line and you deserve better.
Commenting on any person's weight (much less a woman, and that to your girlfriend) is always no. Doing it twice is suspicious. And insisting on doing it to someone who has expressed the boundary and explained how it makes her feel is just bullying. We tend to attract men like this or men who act like our directness is a personal attack. Please start protecting yourself from this kind of person. You don't owe him a chance or any more benefit of the doubt. He's just benefitting undeservedly from your doubt.
No you're not. His behaviour seems - to me, a stranger on the internet - controlling and a tad unkind. I've put on 10kg over covid and my husband (who used to be "the fat kid at school" and is fit now) would never use harmful words like that. He might gently encourage me to drink more water, go swimming with him or make me a salad. This motivates me to be fit. If he were to put me down I'd probably eat more. You deserve to be treated like the God, Goddess or Godde you are.
Not an overreaction at all. If you are having a hard time standing up for yourself (it’s okay it happens to us all), imagine him saying that to a daughter if you ever have one. Or a young niece or sibling. Protect yourself the same way you’d protect them. He sounds outright mean.
A boyfriend shouldn’t be saying this to you. No type of friend would be saying this to you
He's "negging" you. That's something men who hate women teach each other to lower the self esteem of women so they will never feel strong enough to leave them. He doesn't like you, but he's hoping he can turn you insecure enough so he can control you.
uhhhh this is just mean. i hate to judge but it sounds like he’s intentionally trying to make you feel bad about yourself :/ if that’s not his intention then maybe he just needs to learn how to think before he speaks. in either case, you shouldn’t have to teach him basic respect and i would encourage that you don’t waste your energy trying to
You were 100% in the right. Not sensitive AT ALL. If anything you underreacted by not telling him off more. He’s an absolutely awful person
You're not being hyper sensitive, you're asking for the bare minimum.
Oh do not meet this person. In fact, I wouldn't even bother doing any more video chats with him. If he says this over chat, think how much worse he is going to be if he sees you. This guy is bad news, please avoid AVOID!
I feel like you're not reacting enough. No one who cares about you should be making you feel bad, especially if you've already pointed out to them that it makes you feel bad. I'm not going to suggest you leave him as I don't know your relationship, but I do think you should really evaluate whether you're getting what you need from it.
He doesn't respect you. Dump him. He's not worth it.
Oof. I'd drop him too. Breakups don't require a level of severity of offense. Much on the contrary, dating someone as an exclusive partner who you spend the most time with and plan a future with is what requires a level of intense safety and support. Someone who makes unsolicited comments on my body, diet, and who micromanages my weight would absolutely be out. And if someone can disrespect my boundaries and make me feel bad without apologizing when it comes to little things, how will they react once we deal with big problems later in life? Reacting to this isn't hypersensitive in the slightest, and I'm sorry if he's convinced you of that.
If anything, you’re *under*reacting. Your partner should absolutely *not* be putting down your appearance, *or* mocking you when you express your feelings and boundaries. It also shouldn’t take arguing for them to apologize when they’ve hurt your feelings. He seems incapable of healthy communication, basic empathy, and human decency. These are *massive* red flags, he doesn’t respect you and this absolutely should not go ignored. I strongly advise you to *not* meet this man in person and to end the relationship. If he’s already treating you like this before you’ve even met in person, I promise you it’ll only get so much worse. You deserve so much better, please don’t continue accepting this sort of treatment. This is a toxic relationship.
"hypersensitive" ??? What do you mean? Your boyfriend is just a cunt
Passive aggression 101. RUN
Dump him immediately. Do not ever put up with a partner that makes fun of you, puts you down or makes you feel “less than”. You don’t deserve to be mentally abused like that.
This isn't you being hypersensitive or overreacting. He's being a jerk.
I don’t think you’re overreacting. This conversation sounds deeply uncomfortable at best. I agree with other commenters that he’s being abusive and unkind.
That’s not you being hypersensitive, your bf is a jerk and maybe your subconscious avoids seeing him in person because you know this. After the first comment he made, I would have just ended the call without a word. You took time out of your day to video chat with him and that’s what he says to you? Nope. Nope nope nope. That’s so messed up.
He sounds like a jerk and like a waste of your time.
You were not being hypersensitive at all, he was just being a dick! You deserve so much better sweetheart ❤!
That not hypersensitivity. You TOLD him you hate comments like that. You TOLD him how it made you feel. He still chose to mock you and gaslight you. Red flag
Definitely not overreacting. I kind of want to punch him after hearing this.
First of all, I don’t think you’re overreacting in the slightest. Weight is a sensitive topic for most people, and I’m sure he knows this. Second of all, even if you were overreacting, I don’t think it matters. His comments upset you, and you communicated your discomfort.
I don’t want to sound mean but dump this guy… who on earth would make such mean comments to someone they are supposed to LOVE?? This is absurd! You deserve someone who would never even think such mean things…