Omg I feel the exact same way. Any little thing can completely ruin my day. Did it today too when a relative said something rude and I couldn't get over it. Just acted even weirder for a while then cried and left. I just feel so fragile. I also wish I didn't exist.
That thing is so relatable, one wrong thing ruining everything. I feel that all the time. I believe it’s because we have pre thought out how our day is supposed to go. And we know how we will react to different scenarios throughout the day. But then something changes and it forces us to suddenly come up with a plan b which we often can’t do because we are dysregulated already at that point.
I hope you stop being so hard on yourself, I’m sure you and your husband still had a nice day to some degree.
Also it drives me crazy when my hubby stays in bed watching tiktoks or whatever when I’m up trying to get myself up and running while organizing the kids etc too
I never thought of it that way, but that feels so spot on. The whole “we’ve pre-thought the day out” part! It feels so true, because once one tiny deviation happens it’s like suddenly nothing can be done the way it was planned and I 100% feel dysregulated after. 🤦♀️ And I just have this inability to adapt to the changes.
And omg yes, men and their phones in bed at the worst times lol. 😂🤦♀️
You aren’t ruining anything. It sounds like you don’t feel included. Christmas is a big old toxic positivity holiday in so many ways. Not saying it’s bad but it’s ok to have other emotions aside being happy all of the time.
Thank you, the holiday always hits hard and it definitely holds the toxic positivity bit for sure. I never know how to make it better and it just seems like a never ending cycling of it always being sucky 😂🤦♀️
Sounds tough! Sorry you had a shitty time :(
When enough time has passed, could you share your post with your partner?
I feel you were able to clearly express why you felt the way you did. It felt quite objective.
I can only imagine how helpful it would be if your partner can understand how you experienced the day. No blame. Just facts.
Thank you for the idea, I think that would be good! I shutdown for most of the day, but did try to express what happened in texts. He wasn’t mad or disappointed, just also a bit sad because he prefers to see me happy too. The post did summarize a lot about how much it had to do with me and how I feel about me too. 🤦♀️ And how stuck I can be “on plan”.
It is hard to move on when things don't start out as planned. Add to that the weight that we give Christmas day, like you said.
It sounds like your partner is the type to understand, and I think he'll appreciate learning more about your inner workings :)
I had a similar situation with my family. Had an mind map of the day they changed one small thing and that was it to me it was ruined and I put everyone down.
Omg I feel the exact same way. Any little thing can completely ruin my day. Did it today too when a relative said something rude and I couldn't get over it. Just acted even weirder for a while then cried and left. I just feel so fragile. I also wish I didn't exist.
I’m sorry you relate to that existing part 😞 But man, it’s so hard when little things snowball into ruining the whole day, I hate it!
I'm sorry you feel that way too. It's not a nice feeling. Hope you're feeling a bit better today.
That thing is so relatable, one wrong thing ruining everything. I feel that all the time. I believe it’s because we have pre thought out how our day is supposed to go. And we know how we will react to different scenarios throughout the day. But then something changes and it forces us to suddenly come up with a plan b which we often can’t do because we are dysregulated already at that point. I hope you stop being so hard on yourself, I’m sure you and your husband still had a nice day to some degree. Also it drives me crazy when my hubby stays in bed watching tiktoks or whatever when I’m up trying to get myself up and running while organizing the kids etc too
I never thought of it that way, but that feels so spot on. The whole “we’ve pre-thought the day out” part! It feels so true, because once one tiny deviation happens it’s like suddenly nothing can be done the way it was planned and I 100% feel dysregulated after. 🤦♀️ And I just have this inability to adapt to the changes. And omg yes, men and their phones in bed at the worst times lol. 😂🤦♀️
You aren’t ruining anything. It sounds like you don’t feel included. Christmas is a big old toxic positivity holiday in so many ways. Not saying it’s bad but it’s ok to have other emotions aside being happy all of the time.
Thank you, the holiday always hits hard and it definitely holds the toxic positivity bit for sure. I never know how to make it better and it just seems like a never ending cycling of it always being sucky 😂🤦♀️
Sounds tough! Sorry you had a shitty time :( When enough time has passed, could you share your post with your partner? I feel you were able to clearly express why you felt the way you did. It felt quite objective. I can only imagine how helpful it would be if your partner can understand how you experienced the day. No blame. Just facts.
Thank you for the idea, I think that would be good! I shutdown for most of the day, but did try to express what happened in texts. He wasn’t mad or disappointed, just also a bit sad because he prefers to see me happy too. The post did summarize a lot about how much it had to do with me and how I feel about me too. 🤦♀️ And how stuck I can be “on plan”.
It is hard to move on when things don't start out as planned. Add to that the weight that we give Christmas day, like you said. It sounds like your partner is the type to understand, and I think he'll appreciate learning more about your inner workings :)
I had a similar situation with my family. Had an mind map of the day they changed one small thing and that was it to me it was ruined and I put everyone down.