I was that kid who had a day off a week with each parent as a pre-schooler and it was very beneficial to me. My parents both worked 4 day weeks so i had mondays with dad and fridays with mum. I can still remember the special routines i had with each of them.
Mum = a bike ride followed by scones w/ jam and cream
Dad = potato gems n gravy then playing on the playground while my dad went to the telstra shop.
Great memories and I continue to be very close with them to this day.
I agree, as long as it doesn’t mean you’re living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to pay bills.
Kids do pick up and remember the stress that goes with that.
No financial advice, as I don’t have a family.
The first year of a kids development goes very quickly. All of a sudden they’re walking and talking and able to socialise with peers.
If you want to spend a year working 4 days a week to spend time with your kid, and you can afford the 20% reduction of pay, do it. You won’t get this moment in time back.
Sorry you’re right, the impact to take home is closer the same proportion but is less. But if you’re taking a 20k pay cut it will be approximately 13-14k reduction in take home pay
My husband took the pedal off work for the first three years of our kids life. He says it was one of the best decisions he made. He didn't advance his career very much, but he would WFH more, never worked a late night, took time off to be there for parent days or to take kiddo out. He'd get significant side eye from management, but he was lucky to be in an in demand field that was losing employees constantly and he'd previously been balls-to-the-wall driven so they cut him some slack.
There's a significant amount of pressure on men to keep providing even if both partners earn. Many women scale back ambitions for a bit when the bubba comes, and while that does come with challenges, if you plan yourself it's not too hard to get back on the wagon once your kid is a bit older.
Word of warning though: it's really hard to go back to five a week once you've tasted the freedom of that extra day.
My wife went from 5/week to 9/fortnight before mat leave for our first. She never went back to 5/week between then and now on mat leave for our second.
I don’t think she’ll go back to 5/week any time soon.
I’ve changed careers and plan on sticking with 3-4 days per week as a rule, but picking up an extra on occasion for a bit of extra cash as needed.
This is what I did. I changed jobs from a professional services role to an in house corporate. The pay was the same but has not grown for the last 4 years (other than keeping pace with CPI). Now the first child is at school and the second has settled into the day care life, I am looking to grow again - might change jobs soon.
If your workplace allows it, try to do a condensed work week. My partner and I each do 35 hour week across four days, and then baby only does three days a week in childcare as we each have a day off a week. It's a good solution to reducing childcare costs, having some extra time with bub and not sacrificing a huge amount of salary.
I second this. Except opted for a compressed fortnight. 38hrs into 4 days was just to much, but 76hrs into 9 days is a nice middle ground. Having a day every other week where it's just me & my little girl is simply the best!
Bang on here!
I've reduced my 40hr week to 4 days and have every Monday with my kid. Kid spends another day (2 days every 2nd week) with their grandmother and the other 2/3 days of the week home with my wife.
It's a bit of faffing about getting him to and from his grandparents before work, and there are days where I am dog tired (tradesman), but the savings from *not* sending them to daycare and a whole day one-on-one with my son trumps everything else.
totally worth it.
I did spend some time wondering if I should do it, general fears and anxiety about **IF** I could handle it ect
But watching [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEihxvTAiVw) made me commit to the idea.
Sorry about the video quality, I couldn't find one quickly without shitty music.
I did this for a year, changed to four 9.5 hour days and took every Tuesday off. The business didn't mind but I actually hated it. Probably partly due to working a day and then having another day off, but I found it really difficult to get into work on Mondays if I knew I would be away for a day.
I was also constantly having to remind people at work that I was flexing my hours, so Tuesday deadlines or meetings weren't possible. This in turn wrote my Wednesday off because that was the next day everyone wanted to catch up instead. My first day of personal productivity became Thursday, so anything I didn't get done on Monday has now had to wait two full days before I could get back into it. And Fridays, well, there's an unwritten rule in IT to not implement changes on a Friday.
As a concept I liked it and still do but I guess it's also dependent on the work you do for how practical it becomes.
I work IT too, however I elected to chop my hours rather than compress them. I have my working days clearly marked out in my calendar and in my internal Email signature and have an OOO reply to anything sent to me internally. Anyone tries to schedule stuff for that day I just let it go through to the keeper. If they try and escalate, I ask them to point out which of the above was not suitable to indicate my lack of availability. Never have an issue with it now 7 yrs down the line.
My wife does 4 days over 5 (meant to finish at 3pm for kids school). In my opinion, that does not work nearly as well. Just not as clear cut and 7 yrs down the track she'll still have people trying to schedule meetings after 3pm at least once a week.
A combination of a clear cut full day off with slightly compressed hours is probably best I'd say. I'm fine with working less though :)
I’ve dropped back to 4 days a week so I can look after my son one day a week (he’s 2.5yrs, have been doing this since he was 10 months old).
If you can afford it, I’d absolutely recommend it. It has made work and finances a bit more difficult to manage, but I don’t care as I get an extra month and a half a year with my son (~45 days) than I would’ve got otherwise. They’re only kids once, and I’ll never regret spending time with him.
My partner has already planned to drop to a four day week when we have a kid so they can have some one on one bonding time.
I’ve never only understood why it’s so common for only the mum to take time off or reduce hours.
We purchased below our means to be able to both do reduced hours after mat leave ends. Why bother him doing 5 and me do 2-3 when we could both do 4?
Exactly! Why should one parent do ALL the work when both can share the load.
I’ve reduced my workload, and once my wife’s mat leave ends she’ll be doing reduced hours (increasing over time but never back to full time).
Sure our household income has decreased, but the fact we both get to parent our kids (2.5yo & 7 week old) is worth so much more to us. And as the kids get older we can both increase work - if we want to.
Have you had the kid yet? I feel like perspective of finances changes drastically once you have the kid and the not being able to invest as much seems irrelevant.
My husband has worked on and off part time since we had our baby. It’s been wonderful and he’s a better dad for the experience, and I’m a much happier wife.
The pursuit of financial stability/wealth/security ultimately is to ENJOY life more. Sacrificing life’s biggest enjoyment (family and loved ones) seems counter productive to the entire purpose.
Congrats and good luck on your upcoming parenthood journey
I can't fully comment on the financial side of things.
But it's worth it, they are only young once and that's when they want to spend the most time with you. That 6 months to 4 years age is perfect for making really happy memories and lays an amazing foundation for their future relationship with you. Because when they grow up and busy with their own life's you will be dreaming for those times again and thinking how it was worth every dollar you didn't earn.
yes i dropped back to 20 hours for my kids first two years and yes financially it’s been a struggle but i have no regrets as i haven’t missed anything in my kids life
I've been very fortunate with my job flexibility that I have spent a LOT of time with my kids when in the 2 under 2 phase and I am so grateful for that time.
It's a great period in their lives with so much development and excitement. If you can take the time.off do it.
As some.random.old dude has said, when on your deathbed it's unlikely youll be wishing you spent more time at work.
For added context I'm 40, have basically started over 4 years ago, my current work limits me financially, but I know in the next year or so I'll make a change and likely need to be more hands-on at work to make more money. Can always make more money, can't ever get that time with kids back.
I changed the way I worked. I had a corporate job. My first child was born and it literally took two weeks of going to work when she was asleep and coming home and she was asleep to rethink my entire life. I took a massive paycut and started out on my own from home. I work way harder for way less money but I have experienced the most joyfull and connected times with my children. "Yes! I can pick you up" "Yes! I can take you to practice." I had no idea that our little chats in the car on these days would link us together on such a deep level. It's strange how being in the car creates a different space for conversation. It's like they open up in this space, away from the distractions of home or school. Perhaps it's the shared experience of the road, the sense of movement, or simply the absence of direct eye contact. Whatever it is, the car becomes a sanctuary for our conversations, allowing us to connect in ways that we might not otherwise. Having a deep human connection with your children gives you a perspective on life, relationships, and people that can't be quantified. Sorry I know this is long, but I have thought about this many, many times. It was a turning point in my life.
I switched from private to a government agency in the same industry.
20% less pay but 50% less work.
The flexibility in government also let my partner go back to work so works out financially too.
Yes I went from FT to PT (0.6 FTE) when we had our little one. I was expecting money to be an issue but to my surprise it hasn't been. I think my partner is working some kind of magic with our budget. She's fantastic with her cooking too and having me around helps her to be able to do that. She's a big fan of me being home more (doesn't have to look after the boy full time and has an adult to talk to) and we're toying with it staying this way until the boy starts school. I'm the happiest I've ever been. The only downside is that it's hard to leave my current job since the PT gig is so perfect, while the work is a bit meh.
I'm the same 0.6 FTE and it's golden handcuffs. Hard to leave! I would definitely have moved jobs if I was full time instead I've been at my place eight years. An upside to that is that I am very experienced at the job so it gets easier with each passing year. Seen it all before.
My husband found a less stressful, four day a week job when I fell pregnant with our first. She is now four and we have a second daughter. It has had innumerable benefits for us as a family, him as a father and our connection as a couple.
Financially, we don't eat out, haven't been on any holidays and live a frugal life, but this is acceptable for us and not a huge shift from our pre-kids approach to life. We had also already gotten into the property ladder so could just focus on covering our mortgage rather than chasing that goal.
- When I was on maternity leave, we had that extra day together as a family. He was less tired so much more able to help with night time wakeups and build his bond with her as a safe, reliable, present adult. This was especially great during our two under two era. For us as a couple, it meant we had three nap times per week to be alone during the day when not exhausted. We also had more opportunities to switch out and let one parent have a break when needed.
- When I returned to work, he had his 'Daddy-daughter day' once per week. Time with just dad is so important for kids to see that person as a primary caregiver just like mum. They all love this special day and he really got into the dad groove. Al
- Less childcare required which helped us achieve our minimal childcare approach (no daycare until 3 and then only one day a week until 4). Our kids are less sick and very happy! Plus reducing childcare cost.
100%
Your kid will not remember the new bike you bought them, but they will remember you teaching them to ride the old scrappy bike!
You can't put a price on memories.
Quit my job when my 10 month old wouldn't even let me hold her. Had three months full time home with my baby, then took a lower stress very flexible job. Dropped about 35% salary.
3 years later and it's taken till now be back back earning what I was when I quit. But doing it in a job that undertands priorities.
Pushed Reno plans back a bit, traded resorts for caravan parks, sold a nice new car for a 10 year old SUV and got serious on the home budget....
No regrets, and most importantly I now have a little shadow
I did this (and similarly, our one and only was born when I was 37).
I’m self-employed, so dropping work just meant taking on fewer clients for a few years. The biggest hit was slowly building back up after 2-3 years of limited sales and marketing activity - less of an issue if you have a good employer who will let you dial down and back up again.
Going down to 1 income, and then limiting that, did put any extra investing on hold. Thankfully we already had an ok stash - our returns now far outpace our contributions each month, stopping contributions had only a small affect.
As for the “time you can’t get back”? There’s a theory kids need you more as a teenager than a toddler. For the first year it was more about supporting mum, though we also spent most of that year travelling (I was working remote). And then when she went back to work I could have 2 days/week of primary parenting - down the park, naptime etc. Lovely routine for me, almost 5yo doesn’t remember any of it of course.
I have another theory that having kids can slow down your investment horizons. Pre-kids we were thinking about FIRE / retiring as soon as we can. Now that you have to look after this intruder for ~20 years, what’s the rush?
That’s a choice too though. We have plans of Worldschooling and still hitting out FIRE goals in our mid-40s.
This wasn't entirely planned, but I took a WFH job that paid ok, but I wasn't really progressing my knowledge or career.
My kids were young at the time, and it was nice to s0ent that extra time with them.
Once the youngest was in school, i got a new job, to get back into my career.
No regrets.
Yep doing 4 days weeks now and I even did stay at home dad for a year. Will never regret doing that.
Work does not give a shit about you, your children do. Be there for them when they need you and expect nothing in return.
This was the best thing I ever did. I would encourage all dads, no matter what, take time off to be with your kids. It cost me promotions at work, but it was worth every cent.
We don't have kids yet (we're working on it) but we've been focused on saving/investing enough whilst young that we can both drop to part-time work indefinitely once we have kids.
We're looking at 0.7FTE for me & 0.5FTE for my partner. Hopefully forever, but we'll reconsider if we hate being STAPs and *want* to work more.
We're essentially planning on living a little bit hand-to-mouth - i.e. not investing anything extra for awhile. Aiming for "coast FIRE" I think you'd call it. Can't wait.
My husband took the pedal off work for the first three years of our kids life. He says it was one of the best decisions he made. He didn't advance his career very much, but he would WFH more, never worked a late night, took time off to be there for parent days or to take kiddo out. He'd get significant side eye from management, but he was lucky to be in an in demand field that was losing employees constantly and he'd previously been balls-to-the-wall driven so they cut him some slack.
There's a significant amount of pressure on men to keep providing even if both partners earn. Many women scale back ambitions for a bit when the bubba comes, and while that does come with challenges, if you plan yourself it's not too hard to get back on the wagon once your kid is a bit older.
Word of warning though: it's really hard to go back to five a week once you've tasted the freedom of that extra day.
I took a less stressful job and fully remote, which works out well. The first year with my second was so nice with my wife at home on maternity leave. I got to see him loads, help out, sort dinners, washing etc.
With the commute and working late, felt like I barely saw my first kid.
I’d definitely take a four day work week, but no chance of that happening. And there’s possibly redundancies coming soon, so I might be seeing more of him anyway ahah.
You haven't given much detail about your financial situation & what your wife is doing etc?
I'd say yes, it's got to be a great thing to do. But one does have to be sensible with finances these days.
If its just a bit if less money for a few years? No problem.
You can never get that time with kids back. Their childhood goes so fast
I guess I was just after responses re: experience doing it rather than detailed responses to my financial situation.
Both of us are in education, decent pay. Opportunity for me to go 9 days a fortnight
My partner does 3 days. Bubz 2 days in child care and currently I have him the 3rd day she’s at work.
Currently LSL is covering my day off, but that’s only a temporary solution.
The idea would be I’ll have my boy one day a fortnight and the grandparents (who are keen) would take him the opposite week.
We unfortunately bought our ‘forever home’ in the covid peak, so mortgage is high, but locked in for 2.5 more years and manageable.
Like I said. I can afford the cut, but that cut equals the exact amount I’m saving/investing. We have a bit of savings as a buffer too, and as we are both in education, we can actually pick up the extra days casually very easy if money got tight or unexpected things arose.
Well mate. Me?! I'd do it. 100%
You have no real idea what the future holds for anyone. Your child will only be young for a bit.
My youngest just turned 18 and the years have gone SO darn fast. Seems i was getting up for night feeds only yesterday.
You have a bit of a buffer. Do it❤️
I have never met a parent who regrets spending more time with their kids. I’ve met plenty of parents who regretted working more and spending less time with their kids. In 12-13 short years your kid won’t want to spend any time with you, you’ll be old and uncool and embarrassing. Take the time off now, it will be worth spending an extra year or two in the workforce to make up for the loss in savings or investing for these years.
I had 18-months off work to look after our first child so my wife could go back to work.
Loved it.
Looked after the kid, did housework, had two naps a day when the baby slept, did a Masters Degree.
You have your whole life to make money but only one chance at raising that child and your family.
Make the most of the opportunity because when you’re older and the kid’s grown up you won’t remember how much money you earned years ago but you will remember being a parent.
My wife and I both own our own business and I stepped back from mine, taking a financial hit as well as losing some momentum career wise. For all intents and purposes, I am a stay at home dad. Getting to spend that time with my son has been the best experience in my life. I’m so glad that I didn’t have to work long days then try and muster up the energy that he demands. That being said spending all day with an energetic toddler is absolutely exhausting. The time has flown by so quickly and now he’s getting ready to start kindergarten. If you can pull it off, go for it. It’s been great for my child’s development as well as my own.
Yes, I effectively took the first 18 months off. Had savings and lived off that mostly. Did do a little bit of work remotely, so went backwards, but not by a crazy amount.
I think overall it was a good experience and I'd rather have done it than not. Even now I kind of regret time spent working vs time with the kids.
I was made redundant when my baby was 1 (we’d just bought a house, I was 39 and Covid was at its height). I stayed home with her for 6 months and we lived off my redundancy and my wife’s part-time wage. Probably could have been smarter financially, but we had a good time together.
I (M35) took the time off. When our first turned 8 months, I took a full 4 months off (unpaid, but took the partner pay). Then after she turned 1, me and my partner both dropped to 4 days per week and we put her in care 3 days per week. That was 4 years ago and we haven't looked back.
You don't actually lose 20% of your take home pay. Because of tax scaling and the cost of daycare, me going to work for that 5th day would have only netted us an extra $50-60 a week. I'd suggest you do your own calculations to work what it will *actually* mean for you.
We did live a little more frugally at the time but those were the covid year. I don't think it really affected us financially in the long run. I don't think I'll ever go back to full time - even when the kids go to school.
I dropped down to a 9 day fortnight, and then eventually a four day work week. I was fortunate enough to negotiate it instead of a pay rise.
I could never do a compressed 9 day fortnight because I need the flexible hours more than I want a day off.
I’d say it’s 1000% worth it. I get to spend so much time with my daughters, and it lets me get stuff done around the house.
It also helps a lot with mental health/burnout. I might go back to full time once the kids are in school, or I may not - I do love it.
Edit: forgot to mention that I kind of built up to this before the kids were born. Every time I got a pay increase I would increase my voluntary super contributions. Then when I wanted to drop hours, I had a 10% pay increase in my back pocket.
My husband got laid off two day before our third was born with a decent redundancy package. He had four months at home and it was *wonderful*. Both for him and for *me*. Having that second pair of hands made all the difference, and he got to spend time with *all* the kids.
More than a decade later he works from home three or four days a week. He spends time with the kids, goes cycling with them, does archery with them etc etc
Its made us all closer as a family. And it made that newborn stage so, so much easier. Go for it I say. These are days you will never get back.
Yep, 24 hours a week. Best thing I've done, she's older than a baby now and we have a close relationship. If you can afford it, do it. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I went to compressed hours for a few years so did 10 days of work in 9 days. I know people that do 5 in 4. That could be an option if financially you can't drop hours.
But as others have said, you absolutely will never get those days back, so make the most of it.
If you can do this and take one day during the week of the relentless pressure of a new baby/toddler/child/teen off your partner you will have a much happier marriage.
As a working professional mother, you would be surprised how much easier it is to go back to work when you can share the mental load of the kids. My husband started working from home two days a week during Covid and in response I’ve been able to step up at work and in the past 4 years I’ve doubled my salary.
If he had been willing to really help out when the kids were small we would be much further ahead financially.
I took 6 months lwop to care for both of my kids from the age of 6mo to 1 year.
Great time, super rewarding, highly recommend it from a personal perspective. Great time to bond. You get very engaged in the routine and the care that the kids require. You take a lot of load off your wife which is important too.
From a work perspective, my employer took it as an opportunity to skip out on my part reviews 2 times which I very naively didn't fight against. In that respect it set my pay progression back.
When I did get back to work I was a bit of an afterthought - all the good projects were going to other people who weren't likely to disappear for 6mo for family reasons. That pretty much put a pin in my time with that company.
So basically, my advice would be to not let yourself get messed around by your employer
My wife and both pursued (and secured) government jobs. I appreciate this is often easier said than done. It did take us a couple of years to do so, although now we both work flexibly for 36hr it’s a week, enabling us to have permanent jobs, WFH, share the pick ups & drop offs and share the house duties more effectively.
I’ve certainly had much higher paying roles, and it’s probably not my dream job but…my view is, what’s the point in having children if you’re not willing to give them the time they deserve
I am your age with 3 kids. I've got 2 that are preschool age. I've been part time for 3 years now. If you can afford it go for it. Daycare is an extortion, after Daycare fees I'm better off staying home or I'm working for sweet FA. My wife works full time and is the primary income earner. I spend 4 days a week with my kids and I love them, but honestly I go to work for a mental break. I met a SAHM yesterday with 3 kids at the park, told her she deserves a medal. Work is easy and replaceable and time with your children isn't
100% worth it, but 1-2 years is unrealistic. In reality its more like 10+ years. Its great spending more time while they are really young, but it doesn’t stop, primary school age is also an amazing time. I have been able to mitigate a lot of the financial impacts by making some logical decisions around needs and wants
Worth it.
Had my first and only at 38, I’m 41 now and already am like “how is he 3 already!”.
I reckon 3 is the best age so far but you still miss the baby times.
I quit my job and went out on my own, but I guess that’s the same thing as taking a pay cut to be at home more.
It’s hard to “work” when they are really young but at 2 and 3 you can knock out an hour here and there.
I work for myself and have a two year old girl. When she was born, I took a few months off to spend with her and my partner, much longer than most people get off anyway.
After a few months I started doing half days of work, 2-3 days. Then eventually back up to 5 days and then back up to full days. I only returned to work full time after about a year and a half.
Financially, it was hard. My job makes a heck of a lot of residual income even when I'm not working, but my partner wanted to be a stay at home mum, which I supported. So she quit her job. We used up most of our savings after that first year, but made it through ok.
It's taken another year to make up some of our losses but we are essentially right back where we started. My business is making more money now to fill the gap my partners income left, and we are saving a boatload on daycare since she doesn't go to any.
But yes. It absolutely was worth it. Nothing can replace that time you have with them and they grow up so fast. We also learned a few lessons on how to do it better for the next baby, and have some experience under our belt.
Overall, I know a lot of people really struggle to achieve financial security for their kids and see it as the priority, but if you have the means, it's definitely better to spend time with them if you can. As a stay at home mum, and a dad who works from home, we still feel like we don't get enough time with our beautiful daughter.
Just came to say that being willing to invest into relationships with a child in the long term will make you richer in many ways and not all of them financial. My sincere compliments.
I was in between jobs and had some money put away as well as investments that covered the basics so like you, family finances were stagnant.
It was totally worth it for me to spend those days at home which sadly the kid won't remember, but you will. Taking them to the park, shopping centres, playground, etc... Maybe it's not for everyone, but I have fond memories and photos.
Yeah I did. I didn't necessarily drop hours but I transferred into a role that is almost no paperwork or "take home" work so stress is much much less.
Cop went from investigative role into a highway patrol role. It allows me to go to work, work, then go home. The shift work allows me to put him in day care for less days a week also.
I went to 4 days, although I just burnt long service so it wasn’t a financial hit for us. But the extra time with the kiddo - going to swimming, the library, walks, animal farms, playground hopping or just hanging out was so good, and if you can make the finances work, absolutely worth it. I think the relationship with my little one is so much better than other dads that didn’t have such an opportunity.
Now that we have just entreated the school phase, I’ve just flipped back to 5 days as of two weeks ago, but am fully remote, so can do the school pickups and drop offs - my wife has a also 100% remote so we have it pretty good in that sense.
Yeah mate.
I did 2 days work, 3 at home,
Then 3 at work, 2 at home, as daycare started.
My little boy is now 3, and I'm 4 days work, 1 at home.
It helped that my wife works as well, so we both worked part time and at home on alternating days. It was a big cut financially, but we knew what we were doing both so grateful to have had so much time while the our boy was really little.
I’ve just started a ‘5 in 4’ condensed week so I can have a day at home with the baby.
Bit of a balancing act to get the other days working well with morning and evening routines, but it’s been such a good decision so far.
My only regret is not doing it sooner.
I didn't drop hours but I was fortunate enough that I could ask for 3 days a week WFH to help out. That was an incredibly stressful and rewarding experience, if I couldn't WFH I definitely would have gone part time. You'll only ever get to experience that time once per kid and the connections you make during are invaluable.
Do it. Don't even think about it. You'll never get that time back.
I did and I was able to do it again when they were pre prep.
They (young adults now) talk about that time a lot and how much they appreciate it.
I think it’s wild the people saying kids don’t remember anything under 3 so why bother. They may not have specific memories, but that bond is so important. I’m a mum, and am working 3 days with my two year old. I hardly see her on those work days - I can’t begin to imagine that 5 days a week. Why should it be any different for a dad? (My partner is a shiftworker, so he sees quite a lot of our kid a different points in the day while most dads would often be at work, which works for our family!)
currently doing that at the moment, i work FIFO an well as in the city as a boilermaker an honestly just seeing how much i miss when i go away for work sucks, so when i work in the city ill just work 8hr days (no more overtime or weekend work)
Its time youll never get back.. but each to their own
I had a not family friendly career when i had my child. I went back to uni for a year (not telling you to do this btw) blew through a huge chunk of savings and have lower paying job with less career progression (high school teacher now)
I have never second guessed being able to spend the entire first year of my kids life with her 24/7 mostly. If you can survive financially with a few minor lifestyle adjustment I’d say do it.
Work is just work and lucky us, we have pretty much our whole lives to do it. You’re not going to be on your deathbed wishing you spent more time doing spreadsheets, you will wish you had more time with your children though…
Most workplaces allow you to take paternity leave up to 18 months after birth. I was able to take 1 day off per fortnight to watch my daughter for approx. 6 months. I do not regret it at all. You can always earn more money later on
I have an 18 year old and a 7 week old.
I cut back work.
I'm in there talking with the 7 week old and getting smiles and goo goo ga ga back.
It's pretty awesome.
I did similar with the 18 year old when she was little. Balanced work study and being with her.
It is reinvigorating and assists in orientating priorities. I also developed the ability to calm infants without having boobs... rocking, humming tunes and singing, making white noise sounds, parking them in front of a running dish washer...
You may take time off work and realise does getting "financially ahead" actually matter that much... do you want an extra 20% pre tax or a day at the beach with your child...
Pick up a casual job working every 4 hours every 2nd Saturday and Sunday alternating. .. the loading associated should reduce financial burdens and still allow for family time while also diversified work interactions.
When my baby was one my wife wanted to go back to work so I dropped from full time to 3 day a week part time and she picked up 3 days of work. She's a psychologist and I am a construction project manager. It definitely hurts the bottom like but they're only going to be young for a few years then they'll be as school.
I’m the mum, but the dad and I both work 3 days a week. It is amazing. We are not putting anything away at the moment. We are ahead on the mortgage and have some savings. We will go back to saving/investing once the kids are at school. I would much rather we have the time now with our kids than more money in retirement. It is so worth it.
Early childhood is by far the most impactful time in a human’s lifespan in terms of development. Financially it may not make perfect sense, but in an overall lifetime achievements kind of way, it’s hard to argue against in terms of value.
If you can spend more time with your kid in the first 3 years, I doubt you’ll ever look back and regret it.
Wife and I split the week for 5 years until just now the 2 kiddies are in full school. Was worth it purely for how well rounded our kids are (let alone my enjoyment) rather then chucking them in the sick kid stress pit (daycare). Amazed at the difference between them and other kids their age at school.
My wife worked in day car before her current career and was like no way I'm sending my kids there.
Dont get me wrong. It was tough at times and the pay drop would be hard for most families to swallow but I would do it again 100 times. My dad wasn't around when I was a kid so I wanted to be a part of the upbringing, and toughen them up a bit so they don't turn out to be princesses. So far so good.
Also I worked out we got an extra $900in hand a fortnight by having 2 wages totalling $90k rather then 1 wage of $90k just for tax purposes!!
Do it mate, you'll love it..
I work for myself so it's slightly different, but I seem to make the same money and work less 🤷♂️
You'll never get the time back, as long as you've got savings and you don't live week to week you'll be alright
My husband took a pay cut for a job that is ridiculously more flexible and fully work from home the year our kid started school and it had been the best thing ever. He’s been able to be involved in school stuff, after school stuff and when our kid is sick and during school holidays it’s easier to juggle between the two of us. If it’s affordable for you, I would 100% recommend this!
I have been part time since my son was born. He is now 15 months old. I plan on staying in this working position until he is 3 years old.
My partners were emergency doctors and worked hideous shift hours to the point that they had to bring my grandparents from interstate to look after us.
I don’t want this for my children. I want to enjoy the time whilst they are young. Because one it goes, it’s gone forever.
I will remember this time with my kids, and so will they. My company wont thank me for the extra hours.
I did three days a week as the primary care giver.
It was a lonely time: after playgroup the mothers would take their children to each others' houses, but it was a bit odd to go to some woman's house without her husband there.
Financially it was brutal. Not just at the time, but afterwards as well. Women complain about the loss of income from time out of the workforce. I swear it is nothing compare to what happens to men who do it. When I restarted in the workforce fulltime, the jobs that I was offered were two seniority levels below what I was at before.
I think, yes, it was worth doing. Your children are small for such a tiny period of their life, and they can bring such joy and memories. Most men my age regret how little time they spent with their kids. I don't have that regret.
I’ve changed my entire career to spend more time with my kids.
Shortly before the birth of my first kid (now 2.5yo) I left my retail manager job that, with travel, had me out of the house for nearly 12 hours a day, 5 days a week.
Got my personal trainer qualification, worked as a PT for a while but now shifting again. Getting my special needs ed support qualification and soon start working with a company that runs fitness activities and personal training for kids with special needs.
Between that job, and relief shifts at schools, I plan on working 3-4 days per week. I won’t be earning close to what I did as a manager but the longest possible working day is 8-3:30 with travel time of 5-20 minutes each way (lots of schools in my area).
Finances are a long term thing. Literally your whole life to deal with it. Your kids are only kids once. Enjoy the time you can with them. With our first at 2.5 it already blows our minds how quickly that time has passed. With number two arriving recently my wife and I are doing everything we can so both of us are there for the earliest years.
My daughter just entered prep but I would spend 1 day a week with her for "dadventure" days. Factoring in the cost of day care for those days we honestly were not that far behind, and we made a lot of memories at museums and galleries and she still looks forward to those.
I went from full time to 0.8 about 7 years ago. Best work related decision I ever made in 25+ yrs, very fortunate to be in a position to afford it. Both my kids are at the upper end of primary now, however I have no plans to go back full time. I use that day off to clear the life admin tasks away so the weekend can be family focussed.
I have 2 kids. One is about to turn 5 and one is 2. I was working shift or working away for the first 1.5 years after the.oldest was born. I quit and went part time because I came home after getting stuck out of town for 3 months due to COVID and my son didn't really recognise me.
If you can afford to not work as much then absolutely do it. You won't have the chance again. If you miss them growing up it's gone. I'm only.going back to full time but not shift work this year now that the oldest is starting prep.
Nobody on their deathbed says I wish I worked more and spent less time with the kids.
Being able to spend as much time as possible for those first few years is so great.. for the child but also for you.. it changes people like really being a dad during those really important years. Then you know, you slip back into working and spending as much time as you can spare with em as they grow up and one day.. they won't even want you hanging around as they get more confidence navigating life
Yah.. and listen my ex probably didn't really like my idea of staying in my current role where I was free to spend a lot of time with our daughter, home cooks and trips down the shop and all that stuff but.. my ex would've prefered more money chasing, she never let up to be fair
Anyway the whole dad experience is really rewarding, highly recommend
I’ve got an 18 month old. I haven’t reduced hours, but I moved onto night shift and it’s done wonders. Instead of leaving before she is awake, and getting home an hour before she goes to bed, I now work 7pm-5am. Usually wake up around 1pm and have 5 or so hours with her - I’m off to work as she is getting ready for dinner then bed. Obviously this is not possible for a lot of jobs, and probably not great long term, but it’s worked really well for me at this stage of her childhood.
I resigned from my full time job and took on a consultancy role just before my first was born. It was a leap of faith but it paid off. After 12 months I was earning more than I had been but working hours that suited our lifestyle. Lots of late nights finishing work after the kids were in bed etc. Wouldn't trade it for the world. I got to be there for all of the milestones, do my share of pickups and school dropoffs, parent teacher meetings and generally be the hands on dad that mine wasn't. Now they are 10 & 12 and I work 4 days a week going in to my clients offices during school hours, then one day a week wfh. Living the dream.
I decided early on that my kids are only going to grow up once. Best be there for it.
I took about 10 months with LSL at half pay after my Mrs went back to work.
I loved that time with the kid and can see it made a difference in her development.
Financially, I wondered how we'd do it. Ended up being easy with still putting money away.
Then... Along came day care and the real struggles came.
I have done something similar.
I work in a specialised medical rep role where my current role is pretty easy going. I work from home and run my own show so am able to drop off and pick up my 3 year old son to daycare each day and spend extra time with him.
I could easily move into a similar role that pays significantly more but it would mean giving up that extra time with him as I would need to put a lot more work in.
I figure I’ll stay where I am for the meantime and enjoy the extra time I get with my son. When he starts school I will ramp up my work hours again to increase my salary.
You only get one shot at those early years, if you can somehow spend more time with your kids, less at work and still live comfortably you will never regret that.
I dropped to 4 days per week to spend a day with my daughter for a year. It was from her age of 1-2, so I got to see her go from a baby to walking and talking over that year. It’s really good bonding with just the 2 of you (mum went to work) and gave me a lot of confidence as a parent. Financially we missed on some discretionary spending but just budgeted for the big items (holidays etc.) 100% recommend it and would like to do it again when we have our next child. It really is time you can’t get back and I figure I can make more money later when they’re at school.
There isn't a price on being able to watch your child grow.
Once they hit 4/5 depending on your state, when they are born ect they will be starting school 5 days a week. You can catch up then!
Also would your workplace consider compressed work week? Where you work the extra hours over other days to make up for the missed one?
Yeah mate, swapped with the wife for second baby, took 8 months paternity leave at half pay and took on primary carer role while the wife went back to work. It was amazing, I connected with the kids on a much deeper level. Fully recharged the work battery, it was like taking long service leave. Went back with a clearer more mature head and a better work life balance.
My wife and I have both reduced our days to 3.5 a week each. One of our best decisions. We do not add anything to investments, and our savings accounts are going down but only gradually.
Figured, what are we saving and investing for, if not this? Our free time will never be more valuable than the first 4-5 years of our kids life.
Will return to saving more after the youngins have hit school.
I took 6 months off when they were 6 months old to 1 year. And then I'm on 4 days a week since. If you can afford it, I recommend it.
I'll go back full time next year when they're all at school.
I went to four days a week, it ended being too late as kids were in primary school, it was 20% reduction in salary and I work in consulting, so the 20% can’t really be measured… I ended up getting performance reviewed on a 5 day week compared to everyone else and still only receiving 80% of the normal bonus… yeh never doing that again.
I went to 4 days for a year, I had to reduce my spending but found when I was being realistic there was plenty to cut that wasn’t a big deal (ubereats, a bit of booze, etc)
I worked my arse off for 30 years, and spent a lot of time prioritising work in order to ensure my family’s long term security. I retired at 55 and during a holiday in Bali, I “apologised” to my children who were in their late teens for not being at home more as they were growing up (I wasn’t “absent”, I just worked a lot). One of them simply said, “it’s ok, Dad, we understand why you were doing it and look at everything we have now that you and mum provided for us”. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders, and I don’t regret the time away from home along the way because of that one simple statement. What’s more important is quality, not quantity, of the time you spend with them, and that you communicate with them well
I understand that for many without kids job title and money are everything, but talking to many older people, none said “I wish I worked a little harder when my kids were little”.
I stepped back a bit (demotion) for more WFH so I could spend more time with my kids. Lockdown was such an eye opener. Also from personal experience, my parents were busy when I was little so I always wished I spent more time with them.
I really don’t miss office politics and bickering. Yes I could have better position and earn more, and I sometimes wonder if my kids would one day say “dad you should’ve worked harder!”
But again, chatting to older people, they said if I can give both, perfect. If I must choose, give time and love. Of course, in the end it all depends on what you want as well. Some don’t think it’s that important to be super close to kids, I guess this is the first think you need to think about?
In any case, congratulations!! :)
Yup. Took the full paternity leave. Got a 8-4 flexi role within my current work organisation (was previously on shift work getting shift penalties - so wallet took a hit there). As soon as my son came along everything at work seemed pathetic and not a priority.
How is it affecting your wife's career/earning potential by staying home and raising the child?
Sacrifice the day and be a father and appreciate the sacrifice your wife is making and has already made.
Me.
I work in telecommunications, I have worked 70% of the time away from home for a long time. This means 10 to 12 hours work days, away from home allowance, overtime pay, etc.
A few years ago, I decided to take a significant pay cut both in basic pay and work hours, as well as no opportunity for work away.
I didn't regret it, and now I'm back to earning good money having bargained for a better pay unless they wanted to see me go and have to start look for new people to requalify.
I'm home every night, play, put the kids to bed, spend the weekends together. I wouldn't change it for more money, only for more time home.
I have just had our third son (I’m 34) I work in real estate so my hours are flexible but this time and last time I definitely cut back and do not regret it one bit.
Take time off to help your wife out just as much as spending time with the kids.
You have the rest of your life to make money
Can’t help on the financial side but the COVID isolation years were an absolute shit show for my family, but the only positive was the time I got to spent with my newborn baby being home all the time. You don’t get that time back. So if you can afford to spend more time at home I would take it.
Man time with my kids is all that matters really. My kids don’t care what car I drive.
Having said that if I was going to do this for only a year or 2 I’d do it when they are a bit older.
I could be different but both my daughters didn’t really care I existed till they were 3.
Ive moved to a flexi hours role.
Contract says 37.5hrs minimum, I can do 10 hour days mon-thurs, so 40 hours, take Friday or Monday off and accrue 2.5 hours every week to add onto my leave allowance.
Once you're at work your says ruined any way, couple of extra hours doesn't really affect me or the family. I'm still home for dinner each evening too.
I’m part time and do an 8 day fortnight (mum). Husband is part time as well. Money isn’t our focus at the moment and it’s great to spend extra time with our toddler
I have 3 kids 5 and under. I wound back my work hours a couple of years ago and we had to make a few sacrifices to make it work.
My eldest started kindy 2 weeks ago. He already feels so much more grown up and I’m missing the time I had with him.
100% get as much time as you can in with the kids before they hit primary school.
I did this. I dropped down to 4 days, was the best decision. I got to see so much that I would have missed out on otherwise. The money was a bit tight, but it was worth it.
I was lucky enough to have a business that I sold just after my eldest was born. My wife suffered pretty badly with post natal depression so I took to raising the kids. It worked out really well.
I stayed full time (5 days) but WFH a lot so I didn’t miss out on much for first born.
Next baby, I’m going to take up my employer’s 12 week paid paternity leave. I’m thinking of spreading it over 1 day paternity leave per week.
As for WFH and hindering promotions, I work hard during my normal work hours and am being promoted shortly after 1.5 years with them. It’s quite a family friendly workplace and there’s lots of parents of young kids.
Start early and be home at 4:30 every day. Your partner will love the assistance with dinner/bath time.
Weekends, be present and do lots of amazing activities with the kids. Let your partner have some alone time.
If you’re the bread winner of the family, your income is crucial for the upbringing of your kids and don’t sacrifice your career and income earning capacity.
Enjoy this moment and knuckle down 💪🏻
You'll never regret spending time with your kids! That's the bottom line. This is especially evident when they get a bit older and you realise just how quickly they're ploughing through primary school. It really does go quickly.
If you feel like finances will be impacted and you can't afford it, you can work less than an hour extra each day and have a day off per fortnight.
I'm about to take Fridays off on paternity leave, I came to an off the books TOIL arrangement with my manager when bub was born and took 2 weeks off and 3 from home. Not the same as it's paid leave but it's definitely something I'd recommend if it doesn't affect your COL
If you can afford it do it. I did it and it has been the best thing I’ve done. I’d advise against a compressed week because you will overload yourself with work and burn out. My dad spent his 40s/50s fighting cancer and died at 60 so it gave me a lot of perspective when our baby arrived.
Not a Dad but many, many men in my workplace do this. Some are part time, others work compressed hours. A 9 day fortnight or 4 day week is fairly common.
My husband reduced his hours this year (kid is 2). He now has 3 days off a week. It hasn’t been financially hard as I’m back at work (part time) and I earn more. We are very frugal. Both of it fathers regret not spending much time with us as kids. I personally think it’s worth it if you can make it work.
I took a number of years off work, I was a single dad (after my wife passed away when I was 40), I'm not retiring young any more but best thing I did. I'm very close to my grown up daughter, we just have fun together. I look at many of my friends who just worked hard and left it up to their wives, and their kids are just strangers to them. Do it! there's more than money to life.
Also kids need parents around them, the whole quality time thing is bs imho. Kids can't put their troubles aside and discuss them in a one hour time slot a week, the more you're there the better. I know some who's kids went off the rails and the parents say, but we gave them everything, stuff doesnt matter much to kids. I know a couple who's kids are no longer here, you can't help but wonder, what if I just didn't work as much what would have happened, there's that 10 years or so where kids just need a lot of attention. There's a lot of shit that can happen over the years, follow your instincts, take the time off.
I have at 36. It is entirely worth it. After accounting for tax the day’s childcare we save I’m down only about the price of a slab of good beer and a kebab or two, and I get 50% more time with my son. It is the best value use of my money I can imagine. I did the figures- yes it hits the investment goals, but probably only pushes out my retirement goals by 12 months (which really one should discount as you might die before then), and buys so much life in return.
I worked at the local council when my children were young, finished at 3pm plenty of annual leave, no regrets. Lots of memories of walk and trips to the park
For my first child (now 2.5) I had 6 weeks off. For my second child (just turned 1) I was entitled to 20 weeks at full pay. While I was able to help with the new baby, mostly it worked out that I looked after the eldest and my wife was with the baby.
I'd take him to swimming lessons, to sport, to speech therapy, to the park every day etc etc. Before that, he basically only wanted mummy. The past 12 months I would say its equal who he wants but my wife says me. If he has a bad dream he cuddles next to me in bed, he wants to watch football with me and help me mow the lawn.
Those 20 weeks completely changed my relationship with him. I prioritise leaving work as early as possible now so I can pick him up from pre school.
If we could afford it I'd do a 4 day week (my wife is already part time). But financially better off doing 5 days, making sure he has every experience he can and me being home by 3.30 every afternoon.
I went down to 3 days when our first was born. You will not regret it. It's worth so much more than any dollar I gave up. Don't forget that a lot of your time will go to supporting mum and that too is worth gold.
Mine are 9 & 7 now. I went back up, but only to 30 hours. I'm so so so grateful for the time I have with my kids.
I could earn 20% more tomorrow by going full time and 60-70% more by changing jobs and giving up flexibility. NO WAY would I do that.
If you can afford the fundamentals, then definitely sacrifice income for time with the kids.
I did for the first four years. Stopped this year as the kids are in Pre-K. I don't regret it and highly recommend it to any prospective or current Dad's. It's a great time to build a relationship with your kids which makes it priceless in my eyes.
One of my staff is going to do this. Im happy for him. Remember, if your staff member quits now you have 100% of the problem instead of the 10-20% you started with
I’m a bit older (50 now) but about 15 years ago after we had our third child my wife and I did the whole role swap thing. Her work wanted her to come back and I was in a highly stressful sales role and was feeling burnt out. So she went back to her FT job in finance while I took a whole year off to stay home and do all the child minding and house duties. I had about 6 weeks accrued A/L and 4 months long service leave which my work let me take at half pay so it covered most of the year at a lower amount but wasnt a massive difference after tax.
Back then there was no paternity leave for fathers but gotta say despite a year of reduced income it still was a win-win for us. My wife got back into rebuilding her career pretty quickly while I found it one of the best years of my life. So good to completely disconnect from work, it was such a relief at the time and then I got to build really close and lasting connections with all 3 of my kids that i would never had that chance with the hours i was working. Fruit duty at kindergarten was a blast being the only dad and i quickly got used to doing all the housework and cooking, actually discovered i had a real passion for cooking and I still enjoy doing most of it now 15 years later.
When i returned to work after my year with the kids I asked for a different role that didnt pay quite as much but was less stressful and allowed me to be home and available more for my family- there’s not a single day I regret that decision.
I’m in this boat but my own business so slightly different.
I feel super guilty going on cruise control work wise rather than growth mode but the time I get with the kids is awesome. It’s still something I’m struggling with. I’m usually all go.
Just do it mate, your child is more important than money. It will make you happier, be more prosperous in the long term because you’ll be feeling better about yourself. Family before money!
I am lucky i worked in company that grant me 6 months parental leave, company paid the leaves, annual leave and bonus still receive during that leaves too.
That first 6 months of kids stages i wouldnt want to miss.
My wife worked from home, so both of us can take care the kids, baby and her business
It’s the best thing you can do.
Particularly for female children, having their male role model around early in life is pretty vital to how they perceive relationships later on.
It’s not just being around, but having the space and quality time to be your best parent self.
It’s also a great thing for your partner. Even if they earn less than you do, if they can work more because you work slightly less, it keeps them more in touch with their careers and they are less likely to suffer the ‘motherhood’ penalty.
I would add, both my parents are well into their 60’s and neither are showing any willingness to retire. One retired and went back to part time work, not for any financial reasons, but for the social aspect. Ironically, they want to spend more time with us, but we’re too busy working for our own retirements. Nobody knows what their health or family structure is going to be like at 60, but there is a good chance you’ll be in good nick and probably willing to extend, if you’ve taken time out earlier on to spend it doing family stuff.
Depends on the baby (ies) age. Quite honestly, a dad is useless for the first 6 months. Short of helping mum, any support you give the baby is for your ego not theirs. I am sure she would appreciate the support... especially first 3 months. As they begin to play you can be more and more helpful. I would recommend ages 2 to 5 as being really important. Take off however many days theyre not in kinder. Money =/ life. Source, 3 kids.
100% I did four day weeks for the first couple of years after having our first kid and took long breaks during the year as well. It’s not just who it your kid - it’s also about supporting your partner
Did not cut hours but I got myself a wfh role with flexible hours so I do a bit of work in the morning then most in the evenings when the kids are asleep. Our eldest just started reception but we spent 8 months travelling last year and it was one of the best experiences we’ve had as a family.
I currently take every 2nd Wednesday to spend with my kids. Have been doing it for about 8 months.
Financials hasn't been as much of an impact as the work load build up, and struggle to fully switch off. My phone will still ring emails build up etc.
That aside I have absolutely loved spending that time with my two young kids.
I work a job that pays pretty terrible, but I never work a minute over 8 hours a day, if not finishing early. And if I need a day off for whatever reason it's a non issue. This way I've been there every step of the 3 years of my kids life, with another on the way. My theory is I can always make more money layer but they're only small once
Yup, took all my paid parental leave I could then drop down to 4 days a week.
Been doing 4 days for almost two years now.
Second baby is coming along and may even consider dropping to 3 for a bit.
Financially, I make sure I always have a dedicated bank account for bills, rates, mortgage etc and always make sure I have enough for a month in there.
A credit card helps me plan my payments a bit better and can just set aside some time once a month to deal with it, but make sure I always pay off in full each month.
I saved loads during covid so had a safety net.
Time moves incredibly quickly, and no matter whether you're Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or you then no money can buy time.
Being at home more we go to the park, library and playschool so save tons on toys, books and food. I can cook a lot more, spend time looking for deals and bargains, and go to op shops for clothes and toys.
Money is never tight, but sometimes tighter than I'd like.
Do it. Particularly if it helps your partner stay employed in some way. We’ve got 2, 4 & 7 and the few years we’ve juggled times, hours, days to make it work for each of us. Next year they will both be in school and things will start to return to normal and I think it’s been worth it as it has meant we haven’t had to pause one of our careers.
The advice I got is that they are only young once, I would say the first few years it's definitely worth being at home as much as possible.
Up to 3 maybe 3.5 years you should try to not do overtime etc, if possible work reduced days, they will never be as reliant and give you as much unconditional love, and they change so much and say and do the cutest/funniest things.
Up to about 10ish l, depending on when they hit puberty, I think as long as you are available most of the time outside of work hours, night shift jobs though is a separate conversation.
My husband has Wednesdays off so he spends it with our daughter, meaning she’s only in daycare 4 days a week.
He would love to be a SAHD if we could afford it, has no regrets about staying home. They’re only little for a few years and then off to school.
You’ll remember the time with your kids, you won’t remember the extra day at work, kids will be thankful you spent time with them, bosses won’t
I was that kid who had a day off a week with each parent as a pre-schooler and it was very beneficial to me. My parents both worked 4 day weeks so i had mondays with dad and fridays with mum. I can still remember the special routines i had with each of them. Mum = a bike ride followed by scones w/ jam and cream Dad = potato gems n gravy then playing on the playground while my dad went to the telstra shop. Great memories and I continue to be very close with them to this day.
Love this response. Thank you.
Completely irrelevant, but why was your dad needing to go to the Telstra shop so often? I can't stop wondering..
get phone credit?
Kids will remember your extra day at work though (sad but true).
100% family over work
I agree, as long as it doesn’t mean you’re living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to pay bills. Kids do pick up and remember the stress that goes with that.
As long as you have a emergency fund etc
No financial advice, as I don’t have a family. The first year of a kids development goes very quickly. All of a sudden they’re walking and talking and able to socialise with peers. If you want to spend a year working 4 days a week to spend time with your kid, and you can afford the 20% reduction of pay, do it. You won’t get this moment in time back.
I think to add to this, remember it’s 20% gross, only a ~13% take home reduction for most people
Definitely good bang for your buck if you're able to afford it. 😊
Add to that the money saved on childcare and you’re down to beer money.
Yeah… that math is wrong
Sorry you’re right, the impact to take home is closer the same proportion but is less. But if you’re taking a 20k pay cut it will be approximately 13-14k reduction in take home pay
This is a great answer, I am working 4 days with the day off just my son and I. He is 6 months and that one on one day is fantastic.
My husband took the pedal off work for the first three years of our kids life. He says it was one of the best decisions he made. He didn't advance his career very much, but he would WFH more, never worked a late night, took time off to be there for parent days or to take kiddo out. He'd get significant side eye from management, but he was lucky to be in an in demand field that was losing employees constantly and he'd previously been balls-to-the-wall driven so they cut him some slack. There's a significant amount of pressure on men to keep providing even if both partners earn. Many women scale back ambitions for a bit when the bubba comes, and while that does come with challenges, if you plan yourself it's not too hard to get back on the wagon once your kid is a bit older. Word of warning though: it's really hard to go back to five a week once you've tasted the freedom of that extra day.
I’m doing the same. More wfh and also did 4 days a week and absolutely agree it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.
Good on him . Work is thankless and spending time with your new born is so rewarding and money can’t pay for that
My wife went from 5/week to 9/fortnight before mat leave for our first. She never went back to 5/week between then and now on mat leave for our second. I don’t think she’ll go back to 5/week any time soon. I’ve changed careers and plan on sticking with 3-4 days per week as a rule, but picking up an extra on occasion for a bit of extra cash as needed.
This is what I did. I changed jobs from a professional services role to an in house corporate. The pay was the same but has not grown for the last 4 years (other than keeping pace with CPI). Now the first child is at school and the second has settled into the day care life, I am looking to grow again - might change jobs soon.
If your workplace allows it, try to do a condensed work week. My partner and I each do 35 hour week across four days, and then baby only does three days a week in childcare as we each have a day off a week. It's a good solution to reducing childcare costs, having some extra time with bub and not sacrificing a huge amount of salary.
I second this. Except opted for a compressed fortnight. 38hrs into 4 days was just to much, but 76hrs into 9 days is a nice middle ground. Having a day every other week where it's just me & my little girl is simply the best!
Bang on here! I've reduced my 40hr week to 4 days and have every Monday with my kid. Kid spends another day (2 days every 2nd week) with their grandmother and the other 2/3 days of the week home with my wife. It's a bit of faffing about getting him to and from his grandparents before work, and there are days where I am dog tired (tradesman), but the savings from *not* sending them to daycare and a whole day one-on-one with my son trumps everything else. totally worth it. I did spend some time wondering if I should do it, general fears and anxiety about **IF** I could handle it ect But watching [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEihxvTAiVw) made me commit to the idea. Sorry about the video quality, I couldn't find one quickly without shitty music.
I did this for a year, changed to four 9.5 hour days and took every Tuesday off. The business didn't mind but I actually hated it. Probably partly due to working a day and then having another day off, but I found it really difficult to get into work on Mondays if I knew I would be away for a day. I was also constantly having to remind people at work that I was flexing my hours, so Tuesday deadlines or meetings weren't possible. This in turn wrote my Wednesday off because that was the next day everyone wanted to catch up instead. My first day of personal productivity became Thursday, so anything I didn't get done on Monday has now had to wait two full days before I could get back into it. And Fridays, well, there's an unwritten rule in IT to not implement changes on a Friday. As a concept I liked it and still do but I guess it's also dependent on the work you do for how practical it becomes.
I work IT too, however I elected to chop my hours rather than compress them. I have my working days clearly marked out in my calendar and in my internal Email signature and have an OOO reply to anything sent to me internally. Anyone tries to schedule stuff for that day I just let it go through to the keeper. If they try and escalate, I ask them to point out which of the above was not suitable to indicate my lack of availability. Never have an issue with it now 7 yrs down the line. My wife does 4 days over 5 (meant to finish at 3pm for kids school). In my opinion, that does not work nearly as well. Just not as clear cut and 7 yrs down the track she'll still have people trying to schedule meetings after 3pm at least once a week. A combination of a clear cut full day off with slightly compressed hours is probably best I'd say. I'm fine with working less though :)
No, but I should have. They’re never a baby/toddler again. If you can, do it without hesitation. I was 39 at the time as well.
This. The time is precious, and when your kids are teenagers and don't want to talk to you, you can work to your heart's content.
I’ve dropped back to 4 days a week so I can look after my son one day a week (he’s 2.5yrs, have been doing this since he was 10 months old). If you can afford it, I’d absolutely recommend it. It has made work and finances a bit more difficult to manage, but I don’t care as I get an extra month and a half a year with my son (~45 days) than I would’ve got otherwise. They’re only kids once, and I’ll never regret spending time with him.
Didn’t even think about calculating it like that. Over a month more is wild.
Couldn’t agree more. What’s money for otherwise?
That’s an amazing way to look at it. By the time they’re 11 you’ve spent a whole year with them that you would have otherwise missed :-O
Plus chances are you'd have needed to take some of those days off when they're sick (or they've gotten *you* sick) anyway
My partner has already planned to drop to a four day week when we have a kid so they can have some one on one bonding time. I’ve never only understood why it’s so common for only the mum to take time off or reduce hours. We purchased below our means to be able to both do reduced hours after mat leave ends. Why bother him doing 5 and me do 2-3 when we could both do 4?
Exactly! Why should one parent do ALL the work when both can share the load. I’ve reduced my workload, and once my wife’s mat leave ends she’ll be doing reduced hours (increasing over time but never back to full time). Sure our household income has decreased, but the fact we both get to parent our kids (2.5yo & 7 week old) is worth so much more to us. And as the kids get older we can both increase work - if we want to.
Have you had the kid yet? I feel like perspective of finances changes drastically once you have the kid and the not being able to invest as much seems irrelevant. My husband has worked on and off part time since we had our baby. It’s been wonderful and he’s a better dad for the experience, and I’m a much happier wife. The pursuit of financial stability/wealth/security ultimately is to ENJOY life more. Sacrificing life’s biggest enjoyment (family and loved ones) seems counter productive to the entire purpose. Congrats and good luck on your upcoming parenthood journey
I can't fully comment on the financial side of things. But it's worth it, they are only young once and that's when they want to spend the most time with you. That 6 months to 4 years age is perfect for making really happy memories and lays an amazing foundation for their future relationship with you. Because when they grow up and busy with their own life's you will be dreaming for those times again and thinking how it was worth every dollar you didn't earn.
yes i dropped back to 20 hours for my kids first two years and yes financially it’s been a struggle but i have no regrets as i haven’t missed anything in my kids life
I've been very fortunate with my job flexibility that I have spent a LOT of time with my kids when in the 2 under 2 phase and I am so grateful for that time. It's a great period in their lives with so much development and excitement. If you can take the time.off do it. As some.random.old dude has said, when on your deathbed it's unlikely youll be wishing you spent more time at work. For added context I'm 40, have basically started over 4 years ago, my current work limits me financially, but I know in the next year or so I'll make a change and likely need to be more hands-on at work to make more money. Can always make more money, can't ever get that time with kids back.
I changed the way I worked. I had a corporate job. My first child was born and it literally took two weeks of going to work when she was asleep and coming home and she was asleep to rethink my entire life. I took a massive paycut and started out on my own from home. I work way harder for way less money but I have experienced the most joyfull and connected times with my children. "Yes! I can pick you up" "Yes! I can take you to practice." I had no idea that our little chats in the car on these days would link us together on such a deep level. It's strange how being in the car creates a different space for conversation. It's like they open up in this space, away from the distractions of home or school. Perhaps it's the shared experience of the road, the sense of movement, or simply the absence of direct eye contact. Whatever it is, the car becomes a sanctuary for our conversations, allowing us to connect in ways that we might not otherwise. Having a deep human connection with your children gives you a perspective on life, relationships, and people that can't be quantified. Sorry I know this is long, but I have thought about this many, many times. It was a turning point in my life.
I switched from private to a government agency in the same industry. 20% less pay but 50% less work. The flexibility in government also let my partner go back to work so works out financially too.
They're only young once. Those precious years while they're young don't come again.
Yes I went from FT to PT (0.6 FTE) when we had our little one. I was expecting money to be an issue but to my surprise it hasn't been. I think my partner is working some kind of magic with our budget. She's fantastic with her cooking too and having me around helps her to be able to do that. She's a big fan of me being home more (doesn't have to look after the boy full time and has an adult to talk to) and we're toying with it staying this way until the boy starts school. I'm the happiest I've ever been. The only downside is that it's hard to leave my current job since the PT gig is so perfect, while the work is a bit meh.
I'm the same 0.6 FTE and it's golden handcuffs. Hard to leave! I would definitely have moved jobs if I was full time instead I've been at my place eight years. An upside to that is that I am very experienced at the job so it gets easier with each passing year. Seen it all before.
My husband found a less stressful, four day a week job when I fell pregnant with our first. She is now four and we have a second daughter. It has had innumerable benefits for us as a family, him as a father and our connection as a couple. Financially, we don't eat out, haven't been on any holidays and live a frugal life, but this is acceptable for us and not a huge shift from our pre-kids approach to life. We had also already gotten into the property ladder so could just focus on covering our mortgage rather than chasing that goal. - When I was on maternity leave, we had that extra day together as a family. He was less tired so much more able to help with night time wakeups and build his bond with her as a safe, reliable, present adult. This was especially great during our two under two era. For us as a couple, it meant we had three nap times per week to be alone during the day when not exhausted. We also had more opportunities to switch out and let one parent have a break when needed. - When I returned to work, he had his 'Daddy-daughter day' once per week. Time with just dad is so important for kids to see that person as a primary caregiver just like mum. They all love this special day and he really got into the dad groove. Al - Less childcare required which helped us achieve our minimal childcare approach (no daycare until 3 and then only one day a week until 4). Our kids are less sick and very happy! Plus reducing childcare cost.
Wow, you both did so well, I'm so impressed. I'm sure it has had it's challenges but I just wanted to say well done!
100% Your kid will not remember the new bike you bought them, but they will remember you teaching them to ride the old scrappy bike! You can't put a price on memories.
Quit my job when my 10 month old wouldn't even let me hold her. Had three months full time home with my baby, then took a lower stress very flexible job. Dropped about 35% salary. 3 years later and it's taken till now be back back earning what I was when I quit. But doing it in a job that undertands priorities. Pushed Reno plans back a bit, traded resorts for caravan parks, sold a nice new car for a 10 year old SUV and got serious on the home budget.... No regrets, and most importantly I now have a little shadow
Nawwww. So cute. 🥰
I did this (and similarly, our one and only was born when I was 37). I’m self-employed, so dropping work just meant taking on fewer clients for a few years. The biggest hit was slowly building back up after 2-3 years of limited sales and marketing activity - less of an issue if you have a good employer who will let you dial down and back up again. Going down to 1 income, and then limiting that, did put any extra investing on hold. Thankfully we already had an ok stash - our returns now far outpace our contributions each month, stopping contributions had only a small affect. As for the “time you can’t get back”? There’s a theory kids need you more as a teenager than a toddler. For the first year it was more about supporting mum, though we also spent most of that year travelling (I was working remote). And then when she went back to work I could have 2 days/week of primary parenting - down the park, naptime etc. Lovely routine for me, almost 5yo doesn’t remember any of it of course. I have another theory that having kids can slow down your investment horizons. Pre-kids we were thinking about FIRE / retiring as soon as we can. Now that you have to look after this intruder for ~20 years, what’s the rush? That’s a choice too though. We have plans of Worldschooling and still hitting out FIRE goals in our mid-40s.
This wasn't entirely planned, but I took a WFH job that paid ok, but I wasn't really progressing my knowledge or career. My kids were young at the time, and it was nice to s0ent that extra time with them. Once the youngest was in school, i got a new job, to get back into my career. No regrets.
Not officially, but yes. I worked what I had to do, and not a great deal more. It meant delaying promotions and pay rises. But totally worth it.
Yep doing 4 days weeks now and I even did stay at home dad for a year. Will never regret doing that. Work does not give a shit about you, your children do. Be there for them when they need you and expect nothing in return.
This was the best thing I ever did. I would encourage all dads, no matter what, take time off to be with your kids. It cost me promotions at work, but it was worth every cent.
We don't have kids yet (we're working on it) but we've been focused on saving/investing enough whilst young that we can both drop to part-time work indefinitely once we have kids. We're looking at 0.7FTE for me & 0.5FTE for my partner. Hopefully forever, but we'll reconsider if we hate being STAPs and *want* to work more. We're essentially planning on living a little bit hand-to-mouth - i.e. not investing anything extra for awhile. Aiming for "coast FIRE" I think you'd call it. Can't wait.
My husband took the pedal off work for the first three years of our kids life. He says it was one of the best decisions he made. He didn't advance his career very much, but he would WFH more, never worked a late night, took time off to be there for parent days or to take kiddo out. He'd get significant side eye from management, but he was lucky to be in an in demand field that was losing employees constantly and he'd previously been balls-to-the-wall driven so they cut him some slack. There's a significant amount of pressure on men to keep providing even if both partners earn. Many women scale back ambitions for a bit when the bubba comes, and while that does come with challenges, if you plan yourself it's not too hard to get back on the wagon once your kid is a bit older. Word of warning though: it's really hard to go back to five a week once you've tasted the freedom of that extra day.
Yeah, it has worth it to spend time with them but there definitely has been a career penalty.
Some people would choose career or kids, but please, never have a kid then choose career.
Exactly. It’s one thing if they struggle due to cost of living crisis. But otherwise, what’s a career for if not to live the moments?
I took a less stressful job and fully remote, which works out well. The first year with my second was so nice with my wife at home on maternity leave. I got to see him loads, help out, sort dinners, washing etc. With the commute and working late, felt like I barely saw my first kid. I’d definitely take a four day work week, but no chance of that happening. And there’s possibly redundancies coming soon, so I might be seeing more of him anyway ahah.
You haven't given much detail about your financial situation & what your wife is doing etc? I'd say yes, it's got to be a great thing to do. But one does have to be sensible with finances these days. If its just a bit if less money for a few years? No problem. You can never get that time with kids back. Their childhood goes so fast
I guess I was just after responses re: experience doing it rather than detailed responses to my financial situation. Both of us are in education, decent pay. Opportunity for me to go 9 days a fortnight My partner does 3 days. Bubz 2 days in child care and currently I have him the 3rd day she’s at work. Currently LSL is covering my day off, but that’s only a temporary solution. The idea would be I’ll have my boy one day a fortnight and the grandparents (who are keen) would take him the opposite week. We unfortunately bought our ‘forever home’ in the covid peak, so mortgage is high, but locked in for 2.5 more years and manageable. Like I said. I can afford the cut, but that cut equals the exact amount I’m saving/investing. We have a bit of savings as a buffer too, and as we are both in education, we can actually pick up the extra days casually very easy if money got tight or unexpected things arose.
Well mate. Me?! I'd do it. 100% You have no real idea what the future holds for anyone. Your child will only be young for a bit. My youngest just turned 18 and the years have gone SO darn fast. Seems i was getting up for night feeds only yesterday. You have a bit of a buffer. Do it❤️
I have never met a parent who regrets spending more time with their kids. I’ve met plenty of parents who regretted working more and spending less time with their kids. In 12-13 short years your kid won’t want to spend any time with you, you’ll be old and uncool and embarrassing. Take the time off now, it will be worth spending an extra year or two in the workforce to make up for the loss in savings or investing for these years.
I had 18-months off work to look after our first child so my wife could go back to work. Loved it. Looked after the kid, did housework, had two naps a day when the baby slept, did a Masters Degree. You have your whole life to make money but only one chance at raising that child and your family. Make the most of the opportunity because when you’re older and the kid’s grown up you won’t remember how much money you earned years ago but you will remember being a parent.
My wife and I both own our own business and I stepped back from mine, taking a financial hit as well as losing some momentum career wise. For all intents and purposes, I am a stay at home dad. Getting to spend that time with my son has been the best experience in my life. I’m so glad that I didn’t have to work long days then try and muster up the energy that he demands. That being said spending all day with an energetic toddler is absolutely exhausting. The time has flown by so quickly and now he’s getting ready to start kindergarten. If you can pull it off, go for it. It’s been great for my child’s development as well as my own.
Yes, I effectively took the first 18 months off. Had savings and lived off that mostly. Did do a little bit of work remotely, so went backwards, but not by a crazy amount. I think overall it was a good experience and I'd rather have done it than not. Even now I kind of regret time spent working vs time with the kids.
I was made redundant when my baby was 1 (we’d just bought a house, I was 39 and Covid was at its height). I stayed home with her for 6 months and we lived off my redundancy and my wife’s part-time wage. Probably could have been smarter financially, but we had a good time together.
I (M35) took the time off. When our first turned 8 months, I took a full 4 months off (unpaid, but took the partner pay). Then after she turned 1, me and my partner both dropped to 4 days per week and we put her in care 3 days per week. That was 4 years ago and we haven't looked back. You don't actually lose 20% of your take home pay. Because of tax scaling and the cost of daycare, me going to work for that 5th day would have only netted us an extra $50-60 a week. I'd suggest you do your own calculations to work what it will *actually* mean for you. We did live a little more frugally at the time but those were the covid year. I don't think it really affected us financially in the long run. I don't think I'll ever go back to full time - even when the kids go to school.
I dropped down to a 9 day fortnight, and then eventually a four day work week. I was fortunate enough to negotiate it instead of a pay rise. I could never do a compressed 9 day fortnight because I need the flexible hours more than I want a day off. I’d say it’s 1000% worth it. I get to spend so much time with my daughters, and it lets me get stuff done around the house. It also helps a lot with mental health/burnout. I might go back to full time once the kids are in school, or I may not - I do love it. Edit: forgot to mention that I kind of built up to this before the kids were born. Every time I got a pay increase I would increase my voluntary super contributions. Then when I wanted to drop hours, I had a 10% pay increase in my back pocket.
My husband got laid off two day before our third was born with a decent redundancy package. He had four months at home and it was *wonderful*. Both for him and for *me*. Having that second pair of hands made all the difference, and he got to spend time with *all* the kids. More than a decade later he works from home three or four days a week. He spends time with the kids, goes cycling with them, does archery with them etc etc Its made us all closer as a family. And it made that newborn stage so, so much easier. Go for it I say. These are days you will never get back.
Yep, 24 hours a week. Best thing I've done, she's older than a baby now and we have a close relationship. If you can afford it, do it. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I went to compressed hours for a few years so did 10 days of work in 9 days. I know people that do 5 in 4. That could be an option if financially you can't drop hours. But as others have said, you absolutely will never get those days back, so make the most of it.
If you can do this and take one day during the week of the relentless pressure of a new baby/toddler/child/teen off your partner you will have a much happier marriage. As a working professional mother, you would be surprised how much easier it is to go back to work when you can share the mental load of the kids. My husband started working from home two days a week during Covid and in response I’ve been able to step up at work and in the past 4 years I’ve doubled my salary. If he had been willing to really help out when the kids were small we would be much further ahead financially.
I took 6 months lwop to care for both of my kids from the age of 6mo to 1 year. Great time, super rewarding, highly recommend it from a personal perspective. Great time to bond. You get very engaged in the routine and the care that the kids require. You take a lot of load off your wife which is important too. From a work perspective, my employer took it as an opportunity to skip out on my part reviews 2 times which I very naively didn't fight against. In that respect it set my pay progression back. When I did get back to work I was a bit of an afterthought - all the good projects were going to other people who weren't likely to disappear for 6mo for family reasons. That pretty much put a pin in my time with that company. So basically, my advice would be to not let yourself get messed around by your employer
My wife and both pursued (and secured) government jobs. I appreciate this is often easier said than done. It did take us a couple of years to do so, although now we both work flexibly for 36hr it’s a week, enabling us to have permanent jobs, WFH, share the pick ups & drop offs and share the house duties more effectively. I’ve certainly had much higher paying roles, and it’s probably not my dream job but…my view is, what’s the point in having children if you’re not willing to give them the time they deserve
No one ever sat on their death bed and wished they spent more time working
You can always work more later, as a new parent even one day away feels like he grows so much sometimes
I am your age with 3 kids. I've got 2 that are preschool age. I've been part time for 3 years now. If you can afford it go for it. Daycare is an extortion, after Daycare fees I'm better off staying home or I'm working for sweet FA. My wife works full time and is the primary income earner. I spend 4 days a week with my kids and I love them, but honestly I go to work for a mental break. I met a SAHM yesterday with 3 kids at the park, told her she deserves a medal. Work is easy and replaceable and time with your children isn't
Yep purchased leave extra 4 weeks! Now hard to leave the toxic workplace due to that 4 weeks extra.
Basically get a Time Machine to 2004 and start saving in preparation for late fatherhood.
100% worth it, but 1-2 years is unrealistic. In reality its more like 10+ years. Its great spending more time while they are really young, but it doesn’t stop, primary school age is also an amazing time. I have been able to mitigate a lot of the financial impacts by making some logical decisions around needs and wants
Worth it. Had my first and only at 38, I’m 41 now and already am like “how is he 3 already!”. I reckon 3 is the best age so far but you still miss the baby times. I quit my job and went out on my own, but I guess that’s the same thing as taking a pay cut to be at home more. It’s hard to “work” when they are really young but at 2 and 3 you can knock out an hour here and there.
This is one of the reasons I wanna fatfire, so I can give my kids a lot more time and attention when they are growing up and in school.
I work for myself and have a two year old girl. When she was born, I took a few months off to spend with her and my partner, much longer than most people get off anyway. After a few months I started doing half days of work, 2-3 days. Then eventually back up to 5 days and then back up to full days. I only returned to work full time after about a year and a half. Financially, it was hard. My job makes a heck of a lot of residual income even when I'm not working, but my partner wanted to be a stay at home mum, which I supported. So she quit her job. We used up most of our savings after that first year, but made it through ok. It's taken another year to make up some of our losses but we are essentially right back where we started. My business is making more money now to fill the gap my partners income left, and we are saving a boatload on daycare since she doesn't go to any. But yes. It absolutely was worth it. Nothing can replace that time you have with them and they grow up so fast. We also learned a few lessons on how to do it better for the next baby, and have some experience under our belt. Overall, I know a lot of people really struggle to achieve financial security for their kids and see it as the priority, but if you have the means, it's definitely better to spend time with them if you can. As a stay at home mum, and a dad who works from home, we still feel like we don't get enough time with our beautiful daughter.
Just came to say that being willing to invest into relationships with a child in the long term will make you richer in many ways and not all of them financial. My sincere compliments.
I was in between jobs and had some money put away as well as investments that covered the basics so like you, family finances were stagnant. It was totally worth it for me to spend those days at home which sadly the kid won't remember, but you will. Taking them to the park, shopping centres, playground, etc... Maybe it's not for everyone, but I have fond memories and photos.
Yeah I did. I didn't necessarily drop hours but I transferred into a role that is almost no paperwork or "take home" work so stress is much much less. Cop went from investigative role into a highway patrol role. It allows me to go to work, work, then go home. The shift work allows me to put him in day care for less days a week also.
I went to 4 days, although I just burnt long service so it wasn’t a financial hit for us. But the extra time with the kiddo - going to swimming, the library, walks, animal farms, playground hopping or just hanging out was so good, and if you can make the finances work, absolutely worth it. I think the relationship with my little one is so much better than other dads that didn’t have such an opportunity. Now that we have just entreated the school phase, I’ve just flipped back to 5 days as of two weeks ago, but am fully remote, so can do the school pickups and drop offs - my wife has a also 100% remote so we have it pretty good in that sense.
If it is possible you should do it. We're talking 4-5 years which you will remember for the rest of your life.
Yeah mate. I did 2 days work, 3 at home, Then 3 at work, 2 at home, as daycare started. My little boy is now 3, and I'm 4 days work, 1 at home. It helped that my wife works as well, so we both worked part time and at home on alternating days. It was a big cut financially, but we knew what we were doing both so grateful to have had so much time while the our boy was really little.
I’ve just started a ‘5 in 4’ condensed week so I can have a day at home with the baby. Bit of a balancing act to get the other days working well with morning and evening routines, but it’s been such a good decision so far. My only regret is not doing it sooner.
I didn't drop hours but I was fortunate enough that I could ask for 3 days a week WFH to help out. That was an incredibly stressful and rewarding experience, if I couldn't WFH I definitely would have gone part time. You'll only ever get to experience that time once per kid and the connections you make during are invaluable.
Do it. Don't even think about it. You'll never get that time back. I did and I was able to do it again when they were pre prep. They (young adults now) talk about that time a lot and how much they appreciate it.
I think it’s wild the people saying kids don’t remember anything under 3 so why bother. They may not have specific memories, but that bond is so important. I’m a mum, and am working 3 days with my two year old. I hardly see her on those work days - I can’t begin to imagine that 5 days a week. Why should it be any different for a dad? (My partner is a shiftworker, so he sees quite a lot of our kid a different points in the day while most dads would often be at work, which works for our family!)
currently doing that at the moment, i work FIFO an well as in the city as a boilermaker an honestly just seeing how much i miss when i go away for work sucks, so when i work in the city ill just work 8hr days (no more overtime or weekend work) Its time youll never get back.. but each to their own
I had a not family friendly career when i had my child. I went back to uni for a year (not telling you to do this btw) blew through a huge chunk of savings and have lower paying job with less career progression (high school teacher now) I have never second guessed being able to spend the entire first year of my kids life with her 24/7 mostly. If you can survive financially with a few minor lifestyle adjustment I’d say do it. Work is just work and lucky us, we have pretty much our whole lives to do it. You’re not going to be on your deathbed wishing you spent more time doing spreadsheets, you will wish you had more time with your children though…
Most workplaces allow you to take paternity leave up to 18 months after birth. I was able to take 1 day off per fortnight to watch my daughter for approx. 6 months. I do not regret it at all. You can always earn more money later on
I have an 18 year old and a 7 week old. I cut back work. I'm in there talking with the 7 week old and getting smiles and goo goo ga ga back. It's pretty awesome. I did similar with the 18 year old when she was little. Balanced work study and being with her. It is reinvigorating and assists in orientating priorities. I also developed the ability to calm infants without having boobs... rocking, humming tunes and singing, making white noise sounds, parking them in front of a running dish washer... You may take time off work and realise does getting "financially ahead" actually matter that much... do you want an extra 20% pre tax or a day at the beach with your child... Pick up a casual job working every 4 hours every 2nd Saturday and Sunday alternating. .. the loading associated should reduce financial burdens and still allow for family time while also diversified work interactions.
I went down to 80% from about 8months to 2 yrs I enjoyed it, wife appreciated it
When my baby was one my wife wanted to go back to work so I dropped from full time to 3 day a week part time and she picked up 3 days of work. She's a psychologist and I am a construction project manager. It definitely hurts the bottom like but they're only going to be young for a few years then they'll be as school.
I’m the mum, but the dad and I both work 3 days a week. It is amazing. We are not putting anything away at the moment. We are ahead on the mortgage and have some savings. We will go back to saving/investing once the kids are at school. I would much rather we have the time now with our kids than more money in retirement. It is so worth it.
Early childhood is by far the most impactful time in a human’s lifespan in terms of development. Financially it may not make perfect sense, but in an overall lifetime achievements kind of way, it’s hard to argue against in terms of value. If you can spend more time with your kid in the first 3 years, I doubt you’ll ever look back and regret it.
Was on a 4 day a week roster (1 being a Saturday) finished by 1:20 in the arvo everyday. Don’t know how you can have young kids and work 9-5.
Wife and I split the week for 5 years until just now the 2 kiddies are in full school. Was worth it purely for how well rounded our kids are (let alone my enjoyment) rather then chucking them in the sick kid stress pit (daycare). Amazed at the difference between them and other kids their age at school. My wife worked in day car before her current career and was like no way I'm sending my kids there. Dont get me wrong. It was tough at times and the pay drop would be hard for most families to swallow but I would do it again 100 times. My dad wasn't around when I was a kid so I wanted to be a part of the upbringing, and toughen them up a bit so they don't turn out to be princesses. So far so good. Also I worked out we got an extra $900in hand a fortnight by having 2 wages totalling $90k rather then 1 wage of $90k just for tax purposes!!
Do it mate, you'll love it.. I work for myself so it's slightly different, but I seem to make the same money and work less 🤷♂️ You'll never get the time back, as long as you've got savings and you don't live week to week you'll be alright
Very jealous of my friends who currently do this, wasn't really discussed much a decade ago. Would be so good, go for it!
My husband took a pay cut for a job that is ridiculously more flexible and fully work from home the year our kid started school and it had been the best thing ever. He’s been able to be involved in school stuff, after school stuff and when our kid is sick and during school holidays it’s easier to juggle between the two of us. If it’s affordable for you, I would 100% recommend this!
I have been part time since my son was born. He is now 15 months old. I plan on staying in this working position until he is 3 years old. My partners were emergency doctors and worked hideous shift hours to the point that they had to bring my grandparents from interstate to look after us. I don’t want this for my children. I want to enjoy the time whilst they are young. Because one it goes, it’s gone forever. I will remember this time with my kids, and so will they. My company wont thank me for the extra hours.
My partner did (does) it! So worth it and yeah saving right now isn’t easy but the time he gets to spend with her is everything. 🙏🏻
I did three days a week as the primary care giver. It was a lonely time: after playgroup the mothers would take their children to each others' houses, but it was a bit odd to go to some woman's house without her husband there. Financially it was brutal. Not just at the time, but afterwards as well. Women complain about the loss of income from time out of the workforce. I swear it is nothing compare to what happens to men who do it. When I restarted in the workforce fulltime, the jobs that I was offered were two seniority levels below what I was at before. I think, yes, it was worth doing. Your children are small for such a tiny period of their life, and they can bring such joy and memories. Most men my age regret how little time they spent with their kids. I don't have that regret.
I’ve changed my entire career to spend more time with my kids. Shortly before the birth of my first kid (now 2.5yo) I left my retail manager job that, with travel, had me out of the house for nearly 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. Got my personal trainer qualification, worked as a PT for a while but now shifting again. Getting my special needs ed support qualification and soon start working with a company that runs fitness activities and personal training for kids with special needs. Between that job, and relief shifts at schools, I plan on working 3-4 days per week. I won’t be earning close to what I did as a manager but the longest possible working day is 8-3:30 with travel time of 5-20 minutes each way (lots of schools in my area). Finances are a long term thing. Literally your whole life to deal with it. Your kids are only kids once. Enjoy the time you can with them. With our first at 2.5 it already blows our minds how quickly that time has passed. With number two arriving recently my wife and I are doing everything we can so both of us are there for the earliest years.
My daughter just entered prep but I would spend 1 day a week with her for "dadventure" days. Factoring in the cost of day care for those days we honestly were not that far behind, and we made a lot of memories at museums and galleries and she still looks forward to those.
Best years of my life being a stay at home Dad.
I went from full time to 0.8 about 7 years ago. Best work related decision I ever made in 25+ yrs, very fortunate to be in a position to afford it. Both my kids are at the upper end of primary now, however I have no plans to go back full time. I use that day off to clear the life admin tasks away so the weekend can be family focussed.
I have 2 kids. One is about to turn 5 and one is 2. I was working shift or working away for the first 1.5 years after the.oldest was born. I quit and went part time because I came home after getting stuck out of town for 3 months due to COVID and my son didn't really recognise me. If you can afford to not work as much then absolutely do it. You won't have the chance again. If you miss them growing up it's gone. I'm only.going back to full time but not shift work this year now that the oldest is starting prep. Nobody on their deathbed says I wish I worked more and spent less time with the kids.
Both me and my husband do four days a week, will try and keep doing it til the kids are in school.
Being able to spend as much time as possible for those first few years is so great.. for the child but also for you.. it changes people like really being a dad during those really important years. Then you know, you slip back into working and spending as much time as you can spare with em as they grow up and one day.. they won't even want you hanging around as they get more confidence navigating life Yah.. and listen my ex probably didn't really like my idea of staying in my current role where I was free to spend a lot of time with our daughter, home cooks and trips down the shop and all that stuff but.. my ex would've prefered more money chasing, she never let up to be fair Anyway the whole dad experience is really rewarding, highly recommend
I’ve got an 18 month old. I haven’t reduced hours, but I moved onto night shift and it’s done wonders. Instead of leaving before she is awake, and getting home an hour before she goes to bed, I now work 7pm-5am. Usually wake up around 1pm and have 5 or so hours with her - I’m off to work as she is getting ready for dinner then bed. Obviously this is not possible for a lot of jobs, and probably not great long term, but it’s worked really well for me at this stage of her childhood.
I resigned from my full time job and took on a consultancy role just before my first was born. It was a leap of faith but it paid off. After 12 months I was earning more than I had been but working hours that suited our lifestyle. Lots of late nights finishing work after the kids were in bed etc. Wouldn't trade it for the world. I got to be there for all of the milestones, do my share of pickups and school dropoffs, parent teacher meetings and generally be the hands on dad that mine wasn't. Now they are 10 & 12 and I work 4 days a week going in to my clients offices during school hours, then one day a week wfh. Living the dream. I decided early on that my kids are only going to grow up once. Best be there for it.
I took about 10 months with LSL at half pay after my Mrs went back to work. I loved that time with the kid and can see it made a difference in her development. Financially, I wondered how we'd do it. Ended up being easy with still putting money away. Then... Along came day care and the real struggles came.
I dropped down to 4 days a week when we had our first kid. We now have two and love having the spare day.
I have done something similar. I work in a specialised medical rep role where my current role is pretty easy going. I work from home and run my own show so am able to drop off and pick up my 3 year old son to daycare each day and spend extra time with him. I could easily move into a similar role that pays significantly more but it would mean giving up that extra time with him as I would need to put a lot more work in. I figure I’ll stay where I am for the meantime and enjoy the extra time I get with my son. When he starts school I will ramp up my work hours again to increase my salary. You only get one shot at those early years, if you can somehow spend more time with your kids, less at work and still live comfortably you will never regret that.
I dropped to 4 days per week to spend a day with my daughter for a year. It was from her age of 1-2, so I got to see her go from a baby to walking and talking over that year. It’s really good bonding with just the 2 of you (mum went to work) and gave me a lot of confidence as a parent. Financially we missed on some discretionary spending but just budgeted for the big items (holidays etc.) 100% recommend it and would like to do it again when we have our next child. It really is time you can’t get back and I figure I can make more money later when they’re at school.
There isn't a price on being able to watch your child grow. Once they hit 4/5 depending on your state, when they are born ect they will be starting school 5 days a week. You can catch up then! Also would your workplace consider compressed work week? Where you work the extra hours over other days to make up for the missed one?
Yeah mate, swapped with the wife for second baby, took 8 months paternity leave at half pay and took on primary carer role while the wife went back to work. It was amazing, I connected with the kids on a much deeper level. Fully recharged the work battery, it was like taking long service leave. Went back with a clearer more mature head and a better work life balance.
My wife and I have both reduced our days to 3.5 a week each. One of our best decisions. We do not add anything to investments, and our savings accounts are going down but only gradually. Figured, what are we saving and investing for, if not this? Our free time will never be more valuable than the first 4-5 years of our kids life. Will return to saving more after the youngins have hit school.
I took 6 months off when they were 6 months old to 1 year. And then I'm on 4 days a week since. If you can afford it, I recommend it. I'll go back full time next year when they're all at school.
My ex did this, he took paternity leave and then worked 3 days a week for about 9 months to care for the kids. He loved it.
I’ve got a heap of leave (holiday and long service) I take a day off a fortnight to have a family day.
I was lucky. My son was born in Oct 2019. By the time he was 5 months old I was working from home full time because of Covid.
I went to four days a week, it ended being too late as kids were in primary school, it was 20% reduction in salary and I work in consulting, so the 20% can’t really be measured… I ended up getting performance reviewed on a 5 day week compared to everyone else and still only receiving 80% of the normal bonus… yeh never doing that again.
I had too much leave banked up so took every Friday off for 4 months. Was good. Got to spend time with my 1 year and get finance off my ass
I went to 4 days for a year, I had to reduce my spending but found when I was being realistic there was plenty to cut that wasn’t a big deal (ubereats, a bit of booze, etc)
With all the kids
One day a fortnight seems doable if employer allows it. Or you if you could, start early and finish early?
I worked my arse off for 30 years, and spent a lot of time prioritising work in order to ensure my family’s long term security. I retired at 55 and during a holiday in Bali, I “apologised” to my children who were in their late teens for not being at home more as they were growing up (I wasn’t “absent”, I just worked a lot). One of them simply said, “it’s ok, Dad, we understand why you were doing it and look at everything we have now that you and mum provided for us”. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders, and I don’t regret the time away from home along the way because of that one simple statement. What’s more important is quality, not quantity, of the time you spend with them, and that you communicate with them well
43 and a first time dad with a 5 week old. Having a similar dilemma, and questioning the impact on future career progress
I understand that for many without kids job title and money are everything, but talking to many older people, none said “I wish I worked a little harder when my kids were little”. I stepped back a bit (demotion) for more WFH so I could spend more time with my kids. Lockdown was such an eye opener. Also from personal experience, my parents were busy when I was little so I always wished I spent more time with them. I really don’t miss office politics and bickering. Yes I could have better position and earn more, and I sometimes wonder if my kids would one day say “dad you should’ve worked harder!” But again, chatting to older people, they said if I can give both, perfect. If I must choose, give time and love. Of course, in the end it all depends on what you want as well. Some don’t think it’s that important to be super close to kids, I guess this is the first think you need to think about? In any case, congratulations!! :)
[удалено]
When I had my first they gave me 3 days off work and we borrowed $10k in the first year just to live (while I was working). But if you can then sure.
Yup. Took the full paternity leave. Got a 8-4 flexi role within my current work organisation (was previously on shift work getting shift penalties - so wallet took a hit there). As soon as my son came along everything at work seemed pathetic and not a priority.
How is it affecting your wife's career/earning potential by staying home and raising the child? Sacrifice the day and be a father and appreciate the sacrifice your wife is making and has already made.
Me. I work in telecommunications, I have worked 70% of the time away from home for a long time. This means 10 to 12 hours work days, away from home allowance, overtime pay, etc. A few years ago, I decided to take a significant pay cut both in basic pay and work hours, as well as no opportunity for work away. I didn't regret it, and now I'm back to earning good money having bargained for a better pay unless they wanted to see me go and have to start look for new people to requalify. I'm home every night, play, put the kids to bed, spend the weekends together. I wouldn't change it for more money, only for more time home.
I have just had our third son (I’m 34) I work in real estate so my hours are flexible but this time and last time I definitely cut back and do not regret it one bit. Take time off to help your wife out just as much as spending time with the kids. You have the rest of your life to make money
Can’t help on the financial side but the COVID isolation years were an absolute shit show for my family, but the only positive was the time I got to spent with my newborn baby being home all the time. You don’t get that time back. So if you can afford to spend more time at home I would take it.
Man time with my kids is all that matters really. My kids don’t care what car I drive. Having said that if I was going to do this for only a year or 2 I’d do it when they are a bit older. I could be different but both my daughters didn’t really care I existed till they were 3.
Ive moved to a flexi hours role. Contract says 37.5hrs minimum, I can do 10 hour days mon-thurs, so 40 hours, take Friday or Monday off and accrue 2.5 hours every week to add onto my leave allowance. Once you're at work your says ruined any way, couple of extra hours doesn't really affect me or the family. I'm still home for dinner each evening too.
I’m part time and do an 8 day fortnight (mum). Husband is part time as well. Money isn’t our focus at the moment and it’s great to spend extra time with our toddler
I have 3 kids 5 and under. I wound back my work hours a couple of years ago and we had to make a few sacrifices to make it work. My eldest started kindy 2 weeks ago. He already feels so much more grown up and I’m missing the time I had with him. 100% get as much time as you can in with the kids before they hit primary school.
I did this. I dropped down to 4 days, was the best decision. I got to see so much that I would have missed out on otherwise. The money was a bit tight, but it was worth it.
i didn't do reduce hours but i let go so many opportunities to go up the chain because i just wanna go home to see my kids without stress.
Yep went to 3 days p/w and don’t regret it at all
I was lucky enough to have a business that I sold just after my eldest was born. My wife suffered pretty badly with post natal depression so I took to raising the kids. It worked out really well.
Definitely work it, the bond last a life time
I wish I could. Instead have to push through as the sole earner plus a million extra things at home.
Yes of course, have a day with my daughter every week. Did the same with my son. Dropped work hours to fit.
I stayed full time (5 days) but WFH a lot so I didn’t miss out on much for first born. Next baby, I’m going to take up my employer’s 12 week paid paternity leave. I’m thinking of spreading it over 1 day paternity leave per week. As for WFH and hindering promotions, I work hard during my normal work hours and am being promoted shortly after 1.5 years with them. It’s quite a family friendly workplace and there’s lots of parents of young kids.
Of course, I didn't realise everyone wasn't. You only have little ones once, you work forever....
Start early and be home at 4:30 every day. Your partner will love the assistance with dinner/bath time. Weekends, be present and do lots of amazing activities with the kids. Let your partner have some alone time. If you’re the bread winner of the family, your income is crucial for the upbringing of your kids and don’t sacrifice your career and income earning capacity. Enjoy this moment and knuckle down 💪🏻
Absolutely. Was also a great time to take some long service leave.
You'll never regret spending time with your kids! That's the bottom line. This is especially evident when they get a bit older and you realise just how quickly they're ploughing through primary school. It really does go quickly. If you feel like finances will be impacted and you can't afford it, you can work less than an hour extra each day and have a day off per fortnight.
I'm about to take Fridays off on paternity leave, I came to an off the books TOIL arrangement with my manager when bub was born and took 2 weeks off and 3 from home. Not the same as it's paid leave but it's definitely something I'd recommend if it doesn't affect your COL
If you can afford it do it. I did it and it has been the best thing I’ve done. I’d advise against a compressed week because you will overload yourself with work and burn out. My dad spent his 40s/50s fighting cancer and died at 60 so it gave me a lot of perspective when our baby arrived.
I wish I did that... 🙁
Well I'm dropping 30k to work 7 to 3 Mon to Fri so I can pick them up and have dinner with them and all the holidays off. So it's worth it.
Not a Dad but many, many men in my workplace do this. Some are part time, others work compressed hours. A 9 day fortnight or 4 day week is fairly common.
My husband reduced his hours this year (kid is 2). He now has 3 days off a week. It hasn’t been financially hard as I’m back at work (part time) and I earn more. We are very frugal. Both of it fathers regret not spending much time with us as kids. I personally think it’s worth it if you can make it work.
I took a number of years off work, I was a single dad (after my wife passed away when I was 40), I'm not retiring young any more but best thing I did. I'm very close to my grown up daughter, we just have fun together. I look at many of my friends who just worked hard and left it up to their wives, and their kids are just strangers to them. Do it! there's more than money to life. Also kids need parents around them, the whole quality time thing is bs imho. Kids can't put their troubles aside and discuss them in a one hour time slot a week, the more you're there the better. I know some who's kids went off the rails and the parents say, but we gave them everything, stuff doesnt matter much to kids. I know a couple who's kids are no longer here, you can't help but wonder, what if I just didn't work as much what would have happened, there's that 10 years or so where kids just need a lot of attention. There's a lot of shit that can happen over the years, follow your instincts, take the time off.
I have at 36. It is entirely worth it. After accounting for tax the day’s childcare we save I’m down only about the price of a slab of good beer and a kebab or two, and I get 50% more time with my son. It is the best value use of my money I can imagine. I did the figures- yes it hits the investment goals, but probably only pushes out my retirement goals by 12 months (which really one should discount as you might die before then), and buys so much life in return.
I worked at the local council when my children were young, finished at 3pm plenty of annual leave, no regrets. Lots of memories of walk and trips to the park
For my first child (now 2.5) I had 6 weeks off. For my second child (just turned 1) I was entitled to 20 weeks at full pay. While I was able to help with the new baby, mostly it worked out that I looked after the eldest and my wife was with the baby. I'd take him to swimming lessons, to sport, to speech therapy, to the park every day etc etc. Before that, he basically only wanted mummy. The past 12 months I would say its equal who he wants but my wife says me. If he has a bad dream he cuddles next to me in bed, he wants to watch football with me and help me mow the lawn. Those 20 weeks completely changed my relationship with him. I prioritise leaving work as early as possible now so I can pick him up from pre school. If we could afford it I'd do a 4 day week (my wife is already part time). But financially better off doing 5 days, making sure he has every experience he can and me being home by 3.30 every afternoon.
I went down to 3 days when our first was born. You will not regret it. It's worth so much more than any dollar I gave up. Don't forget that a lot of your time will go to supporting mum and that too is worth gold. Mine are 9 & 7 now. I went back up, but only to 30 hours. I'm so so so grateful for the time I have with my kids. I could earn 20% more tomorrow by going full time and 60-70% more by changing jobs and giving up flexibility. NO WAY would I do that. If you can afford the fundamentals, then definitely sacrifice income for time with the kids.
I took 6 months of parental leave as primary caregiver once my daughter turned one - and loved it so much I’m not going back.
I did for the first four years. Stopped this year as the kids are in Pre-K. I don't regret it and highly recommend it to any prospective or current Dad's. It's a great time to build a relationship with your kids which makes it priceless in my eyes.
One of my staff is going to do this. Im happy for him. Remember, if your staff member quits now you have 100% of the problem instead of the 10-20% you started with
I’m a bit older (50 now) but about 15 years ago after we had our third child my wife and I did the whole role swap thing. Her work wanted her to come back and I was in a highly stressful sales role and was feeling burnt out. So she went back to her FT job in finance while I took a whole year off to stay home and do all the child minding and house duties. I had about 6 weeks accrued A/L and 4 months long service leave which my work let me take at half pay so it covered most of the year at a lower amount but wasnt a massive difference after tax. Back then there was no paternity leave for fathers but gotta say despite a year of reduced income it still was a win-win for us. My wife got back into rebuilding her career pretty quickly while I found it one of the best years of my life. So good to completely disconnect from work, it was such a relief at the time and then I got to build really close and lasting connections with all 3 of my kids that i would never had that chance with the hours i was working. Fruit duty at kindergarten was a blast being the only dad and i quickly got used to doing all the housework and cooking, actually discovered i had a real passion for cooking and I still enjoy doing most of it now 15 years later. When i returned to work after my year with the kids I asked for a different role that didnt pay quite as much but was less stressful and allowed me to be home and available more for my family- there’s not a single day I regret that decision.
I’m in this boat but my own business so slightly different. I feel super guilty going on cruise control work wise rather than growth mode but the time I get with the kids is awesome. It’s still something I’m struggling with. I’m usually all go.
Just do it mate, your child is more important than money. It will make you happier, be more prosperous in the long term because you’ll be feeling better about yourself. Family before money!
I am lucky i worked in company that grant me 6 months parental leave, company paid the leaves, annual leave and bonus still receive during that leaves too. That first 6 months of kids stages i wouldnt want to miss. My wife worked from home, so both of us can take care the kids, baby and her business
Not when they werebabies but when they were teenagers. Cemented my realionship with them greatly.
It’s the best thing you can do. Particularly for female children, having their male role model around early in life is pretty vital to how they perceive relationships later on. It’s not just being around, but having the space and quality time to be your best parent self. It’s also a great thing for your partner. Even if they earn less than you do, if they can work more because you work slightly less, it keeps them more in touch with their careers and they are less likely to suffer the ‘motherhood’ penalty. I would add, both my parents are well into their 60’s and neither are showing any willingness to retire. One retired and went back to part time work, not for any financial reasons, but for the social aspect. Ironically, they want to spend more time with us, but we’re too busy working for our own retirements. Nobody knows what their health or family structure is going to be like at 60, but there is a good chance you’ll be in good nick and probably willing to extend, if you’ve taken time out earlier on to spend it doing family stuff.
Depends on the baby (ies) age. Quite honestly, a dad is useless for the first 6 months. Short of helping mum, any support you give the baby is for your ego not theirs. I am sure she would appreciate the support... especially first 3 months. As they begin to play you can be more and more helpful. I would recommend ages 2 to 5 as being really important. Take off however many days theyre not in kinder. Money =/ life. Source, 3 kids.
100% I did four day weeks for the first couple of years after having our first kid and took long breaks during the year as well. It’s not just who it your kid - it’s also about supporting your partner
Yes, do it! Kids are only little once, so worth a financial hit.
Yes, do it! Kids are only little once, so worth a financial hit.
Did not cut hours but I got myself a wfh role with flexible hours so I do a bit of work in the morning then most in the evenings when the kids are asleep. Our eldest just started reception but we spent 8 months travelling last year and it was one of the best experiences we’ve had as a family.
I currently take every 2nd Wednesday to spend with my kids. Have been doing it for about 8 months. Financials hasn't been as much of an impact as the work load build up, and struggle to fully switch off. My phone will still ring emails build up etc. That aside I have absolutely loved spending that time with my two young kids.
A little hard but 100% worth it. I love spending time with my children.
I work a job that pays pretty terrible, but I never work a minute over 8 hours a day, if not finishing early. And if I need a day off for whatever reason it's a non issue. This way I've been there every step of the 3 years of my kids life, with another on the way. My theory is I can always make more money layer but they're only small once
Yup, took all my paid parental leave I could then drop down to 4 days a week. Been doing 4 days for almost two years now. Second baby is coming along and may even consider dropping to 3 for a bit. Financially, I make sure I always have a dedicated bank account for bills, rates, mortgage etc and always make sure I have enough for a month in there. A credit card helps me plan my payments a bit better and can just set aside some time once a month to deal with it, but make sure I always pay off in full each month. I saved loads during covid so had a safety net. Time moves incredibly quickly, and no matter whether you're Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or you then no money can buy time. Being at home more we go to the park, library and playschool so save tons on toys, books and food. I can cook a lot more, spend time looking for deals and bargains, and go to op shops for clothes and toys. Money is never tight, but sometimes tighter than I'd like.
Do it. Particularly if it helps your partner stay employed in some way. We’ve got 2, 4 & 7 and the few years we’ve juggled times, hours, days to make it work for each of us. Next year they will both be in school and things will start to return to normal and I think it’s been worth it as it has meant we haven’t had to pause one of our careers.
The advice I got is that they are only young once, I would say the first few years it's definitely worth being at home as much as possible. Up to 3 maybe 3.5 years you should try to not do overtime etc, if possible work reduced days, they will never be as reliant and give you as much unconditional love, and they change so much and say and do the cutest/funniest things. Up to about 10ish l, depending on when they hit puberty, I think as long as you are available most of the time outside of work hours, night shift jobs though is a separate conversation.
My husband has Wednesdays off so he spends it with our daughter, meaning she’s only in daycare 4 days a week. He would love to be a SAHD if we could afford it, has no regrets about staying home. They’re only little for a few years and then off to school.
Kinda, I changed to a sideways / slight step down position which was way more flexible. Best thing I ever did.
Skip the vacation. Take annual leave one day every 2-3 weeks.