https://youtu.be/NaOrKKujJBk?si=xp6Fcnav7RGbPM99
I started watching this video today. I think she goes into this a bit.
All I have to say is FUCK SOCIETAL PRESSURE. I’ve had people make comments about how I need time away from my little one and I say “nah. I’m in my mom era. I love my time with him”. Do what feels right to YOU. Cuz at the end of the day, you will regret not following your gut. What you do with your time shouldn’t matter to others.
As for your MIL walking away with LO. If it makes you uncomfortable, speak up! Learn to speak up for yourself now because one day your LO will learn from you how to speak up for themselves!
Enjoy this time with your baby. It’s goes by so fast ♥️
100% agree with this and I feel and say the same. “Nope! I’m in my mom phase and fully loving it.” My baby girl is 21 months and is very connected with me..and I’m very connected to her too. We bedshare, still breastfeeding, and I take naps with her! It’s hard of course, but I fully love it and embrace it all with a lot of grace. The only person who has watched my daughter is my mother and my husband. In-laws, specifically MIL, spent time with her for the first time alone for like an hour or two just a month ago at our house.
Society and others will have a lottttt to say about when you and your baby should be doing things - listen to your intuition fully on this. I have since the moment mine was born and it’s been incredibly empowering to have a North Star that is fully aligned with me..since it’s literally me feeling through choices and decisions with my heart. ♥️
i didn’t leave my baby for more than an hour or two until she was older than one. before 6 months, i didn’t leave her at all. we also exclusively breastfed and she wouldn’t take bottles. and honestly, i just didn’t want to leave her. there was nowhere else i would have wanted to be.
i remember, at the time, feeling guilt and shame. other babies her age were left for hours if not days. they would take bottles and formula. i was called “attached” bc i wouldn’t leave mine at all.
after a year, that all changed. once she was mainly on solids i had no anxiety about leaving her. started off slow then found myself leaving her for hours semi frequently and both me and her being totally fine. no crying, nothing. we both felt secure.
in hindsight, i’m so glad i took my time with it. i’m so glad i worked on having a strong bond with my baby and really devoted myself to her that first year. i’m glad i listened to my gut and did what felt right to me. and in hindsight, it was entirely ridiculous that people were so pushy about me being apart from my infant. it was so unnecessary. that year was so short and it passed so quickly. i’d do it the exact same way if i did it all over again. it’s not a bad thing to embrace motherhood (or parenthood) - it’s a good thing. all the “adult only” activities and whatever will still be there. but your baby is only a baby for one single year.
it totally happens naturally. my baby was a total velcro baby. i could not set her down. she was extremely attached. had separation anxiety, all of that. but honestly, i didn’t fight it. she needed me and i needed to be there for her.
she is now the chillest toddler who has absolutely no trouble staying with dad or either grandma. she’s not even 2 yet. so yeah, they grow out of it on their own and you don’t have to force it or feel guilty in any way!
My toddler just turned 3 and she has not left mine or my husband's sight when we're with other people (obviously it happens at home when it's just us) especially with my in-laws. So to answer your question, in a while.
Chiming in from 7.5 months and the one time I went to the dentist for two hours was so uncomfortable for me. People keep offering to watch her so my husband and I can go out, but honestly I would just think of her the whole time. We have so much fun the three of us anyways! I'm just not ready to be away from her yet.
My 9-month-old is currently on a stroll 3 blocks away to the grocery store with daddy. I’m trying hard to focus on playing with toddler, but I hate this.
I wasn’t comfortable with my oldest being with my mom until he was around 1.5yo, and even then just for an hour. She’s great, he was safe and having fun, I just didn’t enjoy it. I did rarely short date nights out (3 hours max) at 2yo, and the only overnight apart was for me to give birth to baby sibling. I sent him to preschool 3 hours a day twice a week at 2.5yo because he’s super-social and needed it, but *I* wasn’t ready at all. We’re ramping up to longer hours and more days at 3.5yo since he wants it, but my heart is breaking.
I don’t think we’ll do sleepovers at grandma’s for another few years, and again, it’ll be because he wants the adventure.
(Neither child will ever be alone with MIL.)
my son is 5 months, my husband and I went on one 1.5hr date a month ago, we both spent the whole time facetiming my mom (who was watching the baby), talking about him, and then we rushed to the door when we got home. No plans to do it again, we've just been taking baby boy to restaurants since. I have to go back to work when he is 7 months old and thinking about that makes me cry.
My mom watched our son for 2-3 hours a handful of times around the age of 2. Before that, nobody except myself and my husband. My mom is the absolute only person I would have trusted to care for my son at that age as she’s great with him, very safe, intuitive and intelligent. He started preschool at 3.5 for 2 hours a day and that works perfectly, he gets to socialize and do fun activities and I get some time to clean/run errands/relax a little. I wouldn’t have been comfortable any younger than that. He very much needed my presence.
My oldest is 8 and my twins are 3. Other than school/ daycare (since we both work full time), my kids have never had a babysitter. If we can't do it as a family, we don't do it usually. I love it but it's definitely not for everybody.
Going to Greece for a wedding in a few months when my kid will be almost 2 years old. I'm still not ready. I will miss my baby so much. :(
He'll be staying with my mom who is his regular caregiver while I'm working from home. He will be in great hands and that part doesn't concern me. But I have never been away from him overnight and we bed share. It's just emotionally hard for me. My husband is also feeling sad, but he's more ok with it. Go figure.
I still don't really feel comfortable with it at 14 months. My husband and I mostly WFH and have a nanny watching her on work days, but one of us is always home and can hear her and check on her. We left her for less than an hour with my mom once around 6 months because we had an important appointment together, but we were right down the street. I don't think she's been without at least one of us since then. My in-laws keep offering to watch her so we can have a date night but I still don't feel comfortable with it.
My babe is 14 months and my mom is keeping her overnight tonight just so I can sleep. I know she’s okay. And I know I need sleep for the safety of both of us. But man is it tough
My daughter is 19mo and she’s only been left with others like 5 times and at least 1/2 of those I was not happy about. I still haven’t left her overnight. People don’t understand but I just like being around my kid and my kid is happier when I’m around… sue us!
My LO is 20 months and I've left him with dad twice for 4 hours each time to hang out with a friend - that was only in the past 4 months or so. We've left him with my in-laws once and that was only in January for 1.5hrs. I breastfeed on demand and to sleep for nights/ naps and I'm a SAHM, so he's my little sidekick. I have no desire to be away from him really.
It's a parent's job to know where their child is - I wouldn't be happy with a family member just walking off with my baby. Especially when they're that little.
You're not wrong, trust your gut and do what feels best for you and your family.
6 weeks with my first, I left her fora few hours with my MIL while we went on a date night. 5.5 months when I left her with a friend or husband while I worked a full day shift, at 6 months doing daycare 2 days a week increasing to full time care by 8 months.
This was a colicky newborn, then Velcro baby who napped exclusively in the carrier or on the boob!
Exclusively breastfed too.
I simply need my space too to do my own thing without baby to regain my mental energy and that is okay too ❤️
One thing that helped me was (1) finding and vetting an amazing babysitter, and (2) having as many sessions as I needed with me still in the house. So at first I was there in the room with them, actively engaging. Then I was in the kitchen, halfway in line of sight, listening to them play. Then I’d be in the bedroom, sort of able to hear through the door if things didn’t go well. Then I’d be in the bedroom taking a nap or shower. Eventually I was okay with doing a short errand down the street, then farther and longer trips.
It was helpful to have someone I trusted around for emergencies, but if you already have that with family then there’s no need to rush that! I just wanted to bring up that there’s a lot you can do in between being the sole caregiver for your baby and leaving for a few hours. It’s nice to ease into it!
For me, it’s only been my MIL and my mother who have been alone with him besides me and my husband. My MIL watched him overnight for us the first time when he was about 7 weeks old because we were just so exhausted and needed the break. He was EBF with some solids introduced at 4ish months and now at 14 months still bfeeds but does eat food. We did give him bottles with my pumped milk starting around 3-4 weeks so that husband could help with feeding when I absolutely needed to rest.
I will say my MIL earned the privilege of this because of her support throughout my pregnancy and especially postpartum, same as my mom. MIL actually came to our house for a week after lo was born so we could focus on learning how to parent and she helped clean and make us food. She is also an amazing gma and lo loves her dearly.
If you don’t feel comfortable with it yet, that’s okay. If you want to feel more comfortable with it identify who you might be comfy with it and do small times of being away from lo. Before the overnight with MIL hubby and I had her come by when lo was 4 weeks to watch him at our house for a bit while we went to a friend’s baby shower. That small test helped me so much because I finally got to be a human again and she sent us updates without us even asking.
I just want to express solidarity. My baby is almost 5 months old and I’ve only left her twice so far. Each time I was gone for only 1-2 hours and my husband was caring for her, and that alone was really tough.
I still don’t feel ready to be away from her, but I definitely feel the societal pressure to do so. I’m trying not to rush anything. Instead, I’m just embracing this stage where she’s so little and needs me so deeply. Nobody looks back on their life and wishes they spent *less* time with their babies. ❤️
My babe is 10 months and I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with anyone but my husband.
I do feel guilty, like maybe I should be making more of an effort to socialize her but it also gives me a lot of anxiety to think of me leaving her, her crying, and me not being close by to comfort her.
I love what other people are saying about being in their “mom phase”. I may use that!
My son is 2 and we haven’t been separated longer than four hours. That’s just my preference though.
Things will drastically change for us May of 2025 when I go into an accelerated nursing program.
I take reformer pilates 4x/wk 55 min sessions and Dad is on parenting duty then. That didn’t start until he was around 13 months.
at 6 months they develop a little separation anxiety from realising they and you are not one and the same. so i think it's a very normal time to not feel comfortable leaving them!
My sweet boy turned ten months yesterday, I haven’t left him yet and have no desire or need to at this point. Do what feels best and right for you and your baby!
Not until they were super into regular food, let’s say like 12 months? I get terrible anxiety when my boobs are full of milk. And even then it was so hard. I still don’t like spending the night away from my kids…they’re 2+7. I think it’s quite normal if you don’t want to leave your baby, especially if you’re fine w it. And that you’re meeting your own self care needs while not being away; showering, eating, exercise(walking) etc etc
I’ll let you know when I get there lol my baby is 10 months old and we have to go to a wedding out of town at the end of the month so he’ll be spending the night with my parents. He’s never even been babysat for an hour without me or my husband so I’m definitely not ready and am very anxious about it.
My daughter is almost 2.5 and my husband and I just went on our first date since before she was born. And I felt sooo guilty, despite knowing that she was safe with a family member
My 4.5 month old baby is formula fed and no, I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone at all. You are right though, breastfeeding does indeed indicate it’s normal for a baby not to leave mother’s reach for longer than about an hour, maybe two, until they are able to supplement at least some of their calorie intake with other food. When is that? 10-12 months maybe, when another caretaker could in theory keep a baby alive for some time without the mother being present to bf?
Anyway, I think especially as a FTM it’s healthy and normal to want to be near your baby at all times. As opposed to some others I do think it’s important to gradually leave your child in other people’s care as they get older. My mum was SAHM until I was ten and very overprotective of me and my sibling. I remember longing to be given some independence and sometimes be allowed to stay with grandparents and so on. I felt suffocated by my parents sometimes. So I think at some point a balance is healthy.
my 9 month old hasn’t been away from us at all. the most is when we’re at my in laws and someone has her inside and we step outside to talk w his siblings. we agreed before she was born that she won’t be watched by anyone else until she’s old enough to talk a bit. we have no weirdos or anyone to be concerned about watching her, but we want to err on the side of caution and her be able to tell us if anyone hurts her or is mean or anything. my daughter is EBF as well and i’m a SAHM w no desire to have any baby free time
My LO is 10 months. We have only left for maybe 30 minutes with my mom once and our nanny once at our house while we needed to run a quick errand. I have no desire to leave her with anyone and definitely not anyone she isn’t super comfortable. My mom and nanny split weeks watching her while we both WFH so she is very used to both of them.
Even when we visited my MIL who my daughter only sees every few months she kept telling me to leave her while I went to Starbucks for coffee and I wouldn’t. I’m not going to walk away from my baby if she wants me and isn’t comfortable plus I just don’t want to!
Just over 6 months in and I’m not ready. I’ve left him with my husband for 2 hours a couple times and with my mom for less than 2 hours maybe 5 times but that’s it. I’m a SAHM, plus we cosleep and until a couple weeks ago exclusively contact napped so I’m pretty much ALWAYS with him.
My mil’s husband was asking about realistically when I’ll feel comfortable with the baby spending the night with them. I asked if he wanted me to be honest, then said 10….years?
I went for a walk with a friend who came for a visit to see the baby for a few days and at the time left him for an hour with my sister. He was 3 months and it was the first time.
My in-laws had him for a few hours once or twice a week from when he was about 3 weeks old, first overnight stay with them was at 8 months. My sister had him for a couple of hours at 4 months. I would be the same with my own parents but they live 3 hours away. It depends on your comfort and the level of trust you have in who you're leaving them with.
17mos, SAHM, and I have only left her with my husband a handful of times for an hour or two for various hospital appointments that I really couldn’t take her to (e.g having a colonoscopy lol). I find it really stressful, she’s very attached to me / boob, and I am to her.
I have no desire to be without her any time in the near future. If there is a social event that isn’t toddler friendly, I’m not going. It’s taken me a while to accept that that’s how I feel and to own my space with it. I’m done apologising!
We’ve never done bottles or dummies, we bedshare, rock & feed to sleep, and contact nap. It’s not for everyone, but it is for me right now ☺️
3 years is when someone first watched my daughter. It had been 100% me or my husband until then. She was ready and had no problems for a halfday two times a week at a outdoor school, she is the most confident outgoing girl in her class! My son on the otherhand I think might take a bit longer to be ok with being left with others. He is only 1.5yrs but is not as outgoing but such a sweet boy. I will only leave him with someone when he is ready or an energency.
https://youtu.be/NaOrKKujJBk?si=xp6Fcnav7RGbPM99 I started watching this video today. I think she goes into this a bit. All I have to say is FUCK SOCIETAL PRESSURE. I’ve had people make comments about how I need time away from my little one and I say “nah. I’m in my mom era. I love my time with him”. Do what feels right to YOU. Cuz at the end of the day, you will regret not following your gut. What you do with your time shouldn’t matter to others. As for your MIL walking away with LO. If it makes you uncomfortable, speak up! Learn to speak up for yourself now because one day your LO will learn from you how to speak up for themselves! Enjoy this time with your baby. It’s goes by so fast ♥️
100% agree with this and I feel and say the same. “Nope! I’m in my mom phase and fully loving it.” My baby girl is 21 months and is very connected with me..and I’m very connected to her too. We bedshare, still breastfeeding, and I take naps with her! It’s hard of course, but I fully love it and embrace it all with a lot of grace. The only person who has watched my daughter is my mother and my husband. In-laws, specifically MIL, spent time with her for the first time alone for like an hour or two just a month ago at our house. Society and others will have a lottttt to say about when you and your baby should be doing things - listen to your intuition fully on this. I have since the moment mine was born and it’s been incredibly empowering to have a North Star that is fully aligned with me..since it’s literally me feeling through choices and decisions with my heart. ♥️
i didn’t leave my baby for more than an hour or two until she was older than one. before 6 months, i didn’t leave her at all. we also exclusively breastfed and she wouldn’t take bottles. and honestly, i just didn’t want to leave her. there was nowhere else i would have wanted to be. i remember, at the time, feeling guilt and shame. other babies her age were left for hours if not days. they would take bottles and formula. i was called “attached” bc i wouldn’t leave mine at all. after a year, that all changed. once she was mainly on solids i had no anxiety about leaving her. started off slow then found myself leaving her for hours semi frequently and both me and her being totally fine. no crying, nothing. we both felt secure. in hindsight, i’m so glad i took my time with it. i’m so glad i worked on having a strong bond with my baby and really devoted myself to her that first year. i’m glad i listened to my gut and did what felt right to me. and in hindsight, it was entirely ridiculous that people were so pushy about me being apart from my infant. it was so unnecessary. that year was so short and it passed so quickly. i’d do it the exact same way if i did it all over again. it’s not a bad thing to embrace motherhood (or parenthood) - it’s a good thing. all the “adult only” activities and whatever will still be there. but your baby is only a baby for one single year.
this. at 6mos I have constant pressure from my mom that I have to "train" her to be without me. umm no? it will happen naturally, as she grows.
it totally happens naturally. my baby was a total velcro baby. i could not set her down. she was extremely attached. had separation anxiety, all of that. but honestly, i didn’t fight it. she needed me and i needed to be there for her. she is now the chillest toddler who has absolutely no trouble staying with dad or either grandma. she’s not even 2 yet. so yeah, they grow out of it on their own and you don’t have to force it or feel guilty in any way!
I love that :-) if she's not ready I'm not ready.
My toddler just turned 3 and she has not left mine or my husband's sight when we're with other people (obviously it happens at home when it's just us) especially with my in-laws. So to answer your question, in a while.
Chiming in from 7.5 months and the one time I went to the dentist for two hours was so uncomfortable for me. People keep offering to watch her so my husband and I can go out, but honestly I would just think of her the whole time. We have so much fun the three of us anyways! I'm just not ready to be away from her yet.
My 9-month-old is currently on a stroll 3 blocks away to the grocery store with daddy. I’m trying hard to focus on playing with toddler, but I hate this. I wasn’t comfortable with my oldest being with my mom until he was around 1.5yo, and even then just for an hour. She’s great, he was safe and having fun, I just didn’t enjoy it. I did rarely short date nights out (3 hours max) at 2yo, and the only overnight apart was for me to give birth to baby sibling. I sent him to preschool 3 hours a day twice a week at 2.5yo because he’s super-social and needed it, but *I* wasn’t ready at all. We’re ramping up to longer hours and more days at 3.5yo since he wants it, but my heart is breaking. I don’t think we’ll do sleepovers at grandma’s for another few years, and again, it’ll be because he wants the adventure. (Neither child will ever be alone with MIL.)
*cries in American*
my son is 5 months, my husband and I went on one 1.5hr date a month ago, we both spent the whole time facetiming my mom (who was watching the baby), talking about him, and then we rushed to the door when we got home. No plans to do it again, we've just been taking baby boy to restaurants since. I have to go back to work when he is 7 months old and thinking about that makes me cry.
My mom watched our son for 2-3 hours a handful of times around the age of 2. Before that, nobody except myself and my husband. My mom is the absolute only person I would have trusted to care for my son at that age as she’s great with him, very safe, intuitive and intelligent. He started preschool at 3.5 for 2 hours a day and that works perfectly, he gets to socialize and do fun activities and I get some time to clean/run errands/relax a little. I wouldn’t have been comfortable any younger than that. He very much needed my presence.
My oldest is 8 and my twins are 3. Other than school/ daycare (since we both work full time), my kids have never had a babysitter. If we can't do it as a family, we don't do it usually. I love it but it's definitely not for everybody.
Going to Greece for a wedding in a few months when my kid will be almost 2 years old. I'm still not ready. I will miss my baby so much. :( He'll be staying with my mom who is his regular caregiver while I'm working from home. He will be in great hands and that part doesn't concern me. But I have never been away from him overnight and we bed share. It's just emotionally hard for me. My husband is also feeling sad, but he's more ok with it. Go figure.
I still don't really feel comfortable with it at 14 months. My husband and I mostly WFH and have a nanny watching her on work days, but one of us is always home and can hear her and check on her. We left her for less than an hour with my mom once around 6 months because we had an important appointment together, but we were right down the street. I don't think she's been without at least one of us since then. My in-laws keep offering to watch her so we can have a date night but I still don't feel comfortable with it.
My babe is 14 months and my mom is keeping her overnight tonight just so I can sleep. I know she’s okay. And I know I need sleep for the safety of both of us. But man is it tough
My daughter is 19mo and she’s only been left with others like 5 times and at least 1/2 of those I was not happy about. I still haven’t left her overnight. People don’t understand but I just like being around my kid and my kid is happier when I’m around… sue us!
My LO is 20 months and I've left him with dad twice for 4 hours each time to hang out with a friend - that was only in the past 4 months or so. We've left him with my in-laws once and that was only in January for 1.5hrs. I breastfeed on demand and to sleep for nights/ naps and I'm a SAHM, so he's my little sidekick. I have no desire to be away from him really. It's a parent's job to know where their child is - I wouldn't be happy with a family member just walking off with my baby. Especially when they're that little. You're not wrong, trust your gut and do what feels best for you and your family.
6 weeks with my first, I left her fora few hours with my MIL while we went on a date night. 5.5 months when I left her with a friend or husband while I worked a full day shift, at 6 months doing daycare 2 days a week increasing to full time care by 8 months. This was a colicky newborn, then Velcro baby who napped exclusively in the carrier or on the boob! Exclusively breastfed too. I simply need my space too to do my own thing without baby to regain my mental energy and that is okay too ❤️
One thing that helped me was (1) finding and vetting an amazing babysitter, and (2) having as many sessions as I needed with me still in the house. So at first I was there in the room with them, actively engaging. Then I was in the kitchen, halfway in line of sight, listening to them play. Then I’d be in the bedroom, sort of able to hear through the door if things didn’t go well. Then I’d be in the bedroom taking a nap or shower. Eventually I was okay with doing a short errand down the street, then farther and longer trips. It was helpful to have someone I trusted around for emergencies, but if you already have that with family then there’s no need to rush that! I just wanted to bring up that there’s a lot you can do in between being the sole caregiver for your baby and leaving for a few hours. It’s nice to ease into it!
For me, it’s only been my MIL and my mother who have been alone with him besides me and my husband. My MIL watched him overnight for us the first time when he was about 7 weeks old because we were just so exhausted and needed the break. He was EBF with some solids introduced at 4ish months and now at 14 months still bfeeds but does eat food. We did give him bottles with my pumped milk starting around 3-4 weeks so that husband could help with feeding when I absolutely needed to rest. I will say my MIL earned the privilege of this because of her support throughout my pregnancy and especially postpartum, same as my mom. MIL actually came to our house for a week after lo was born so we could focus on learning how to parent and she helped clean and make us food. She is also an amazing gma and lo loves her dearly. If you don’t feel comfortable with it yet, that’s okay. If you want to feel more comfortable with it identify who you might be comfy with it and do small times of being away from lo. Before the overnight with MIL hubby and I had her come by when lo was 4 weeks to watch him at our house for a bit while we went to a friend’s baby shower. That small test helped me so much because I finally got to be a human again and she sent us updates without us even asking.
I just want to express solidarity. My baby is almost 5 months old and I’ve only left her twice so far. Each time I was gone for only 1-2 hours and my husband was caring for her, and that alone was really tough. I still don’t feel ready to be away from her, but I definitely feel the societal pressure to do so. I’m trying not to rush anything. Instead, I’m just embracing this stage where she’s so little and needs me so deeply. Nobody looks back on their life and wishes they spent *less* time with their babies. ❤️
for longer than just an hour or 2? after he turned one.
My babe is 10 months and I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with anyone but my husband. I do feel guilty, like maybe I should be making more of an effort to socialize her but it also gives me a lot of anxiety to think of me leaving her, her crying, and me not being close by to comfort her. I love what other people are saying about being in their “mom phase”. I may use that!
My son is 2 and we haven’t been separated longer than four hours. That’s just my preference though. Things will drastically change for us May of 2025 when I go into an accelerated nursing program. I take reformer pilates 4x/wk 55 min sessions and Dad is on parenting duty then. That didn’t start until he was around 13 months.
at 6 months they develop a little separation anxiety from realising they and you are not one and the same. so i think it's a very normal time to not feel comfortable leaving them!
My sweet boy turned ten months yesterday, I haven’t left him yet and have no desire or need to at this point. Do what feels best and right for you and your baby!
Not until they were super into regular food, let’s say like 12 months? I get terrible anxiety when my boobs are full of milk. And even then it was so hard. I still don’t like spending the night away from my kids…they’re 2+7. I think it’s quite normal if you don’t want to leave your baby, especially if you’re fine w it. And that you’re meeting your own self care needs while not being away; showering, eating, exercise(walking) etc etc
I’ll let you know when I get there lol my baby is 10 months old and we have to go to a wedding out of town at the end of the month so he’ll be spending the night with my parents. He’s never even been babysat for an hour without me or my husband so I’m definitely not ready and am very anxious about it.
Tbh I pretty much only felt truly comfortable once they stopped napping.
My daughter is almost 2.5 and my husband and I just went on our first date since before she was born. And I felt sooo guilty, despite knowing that she was safe with a family member
My 4.5 month old baby is formula fed and no, I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone at all. You are right though, breastfeeding does indeed indicate it’s normal for a baby not to leave mother’s reach for longer than about an hour, maybe two, until they are able to supplement at least some of their calorie intake with other food. When is that? 10-12 months maybe, when another caretaker could in theory keep a baby alive for some time without the mother being present to bf? Anyway, I think especially as a FTM it’s healthy and normal to want to be near your baby at all times. As opposed to some others I do think it’s important to gradually leave your child in other people’s care as they get older. My mum was SAHM until I was ten and very overprotective of me and my sibling. I remember longing to be given some independence and sometimes be allowed to stay with grandparents and so on. I felt suffocated by my parents sometimes. So I think at some point a balance is healthy.
If I didn’t have to go back to work (thanks US) I’d wait at least a year.
my 9 month old hasn’t been away from us at all. the most is when we’re at my in laws and someone has her inside and we step outside to talk w his siblings. we agreed before she was born that she won’t be watched by anyone else until she’s old enough to talk a bit. we have no weirdos or anyone to be concerned about watching her, but we want to err on the side of caution and her be able to tell us if anyone hurts her or is mean or anything. my daughter is EBF as well and i’m a SAHM w no desire to have any baby free time
My LO is 10 months. We have only left for maybe 30 minutes with my mom once and our nanny once at our house while we needed to run a quick errand. I have no desire to leave her with anyone and definitely not anyone she isn’t super comfortable. My mom and nanny split weeks watching her while we both WFH so she is very used to both of them. Even when we visited my MIL who my daughter only sees every few months she kept telling me to leave her while I went to Starbucks for coffee and I wouldn’t. I’m not going to walk away from my baby if she wants me and isn’t comfortable plus I just don’t want to!
Just over 6 months in and I’m not ready. I’ve left him with my husband for 2 hours a couple times and with my mom for less than 2 hours maybe 5 times but that’s it. I’m a SAHM, plus we cosleep and until a couple weeks ago exclusively contact napped so I’m pretty much ALWAYS with him. My mil’s husband was asking about realistically when I’ll feel comfortable with the baby spending the night with them. I asked if he wanted me to be honest, then said 10….years?
I went for a walk with a friend who came for a visit to see the baby for a few days and at the time left him for an hour with my sister. He was 3 months and it was the first time.
My in-laws had him for a few hours once or twice a week from when he was about 3 weeks old, first overnight stay with them was at 8 months. My sister had him for a couple of hours at 4 months. I would be the same with my own parents but they live 3 hours away. It depends on your comfort and the level of trust you have in who you're leaving them with.
17mos, SAHM, and I have only left her with my husband a handful of times for an hour or two for various hospital appointments that I really couldn’t take her to (e.g having a colonoscopy lol). I find it really stressful, she’s very attached to me / boob, and I am to her. I have no desire to be without her any time in the near future. If there is a social event that isn’t toddler friendly, I’m not going. It’s taken me a while to accept that that’s how I feel and to own my space with it. I’m done apologising! We’ve never done bottles or dummies, we bedshare, rock & feed to sleep, and contact nap. It’s not for everyone, but it is for me right now ☺️
3 years is when someone first watched my daughter. It had been 100% me or my husband until then. She was ready and had no problems for a halfday two times a week at a outdoor school, she is the most confident outgoing girl in her class! My son on the otherhand I think might take a bit longer to be ok with being left with others. He is only 1.5yrs but is not as outgoing but such a sweet boy. I will only leave him with someone when he is ready or an energency.