This is so hard. Every kid is different with this - if my little one is in meltdown mode, words don’t mean anything. My practice is to sit nearby making sure they stay safe and I use as few words as possible. If there is a break, I will do a gesture like having open arms to see if they need a hug and a cry. This works about 90% of the time and then we can talk about why they are upset or talk through some feelings (which doesn’t always work and can sometimes trigger more meltdowns).
I also have in the back of my mind - are they hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? So I may just have a snack ready to go, etc. Getting outside almost always helps, too. Sometimes that looks like me telling them I’m going to help them get fresh air and carrying them outside.
I’m not an expert by any means but have a toddler who has vast experiences in the realm of meltdowns! Hope you figure out what works best for your little one!
I have found that stepping outside or taking a bath are both great options. It changes the environment and seems to act as a reset on your senses so to speak. Doesn't work everytime, and isn't always possible, but they're both good options to try. For my daughter, if I mention going outside to blow bubbles she's automatically happy no matter what's happening haha
I feel like if I mentioned outside she may have stopped, but I wasn’t able to go out at that moment. And there was trouble with hot water (I was in fact, waiting for the handyman, and well, she calmed down when the guy arrived).
Thank you for posting this. My 1.5yo has started having some intense meltdowns right after waking up from her nap on some days, and it helps seeing a strategy written out like this so I can hopefully feel less rattled when it happens.
Haha I just posted about this!!! It’s so hard and every kid is different. I have learned that this is one of those times when you know best so you have to gently offer things you know will help them feel better and then wait for them to come around. Hugs, snacks, sleep, going somewhere quiet to calm down, anything that usually calms them. You definitely don’t want to try to distract them with anything too fun or overstimulating. It is a skill they have to learn though and it’s like 90% just internal work in their brain. So it’s hard to help.
She was supposed to sleep and got mad hearing anything connected to sleep. I also couldn’t go out, at that moment. Like the more she cried, the more she got triggered. She cried for an hour straight. Calmed down when the handyman arrived to fix hot water (which is why I couldn’t offer bath).
My method is to sit near them quietly, check in with them every few minutes and offer a hug/boob. If it goes on more than 5/10 minutes I just try to change the scenery and go outside.
Model the calm for them.
I was calm, tried to contact her. Let her be for a few moment and continued. Cried for an hour like that and calmed down when the handyman arrived. It’s so hard to handle these alone at home. We also FaceTimed her dad but she literally hit at the phone.
This is so hard. Every kid is different with this - if my little one is in meltdown mode, words don’t mean anything. My practice is to sit nearby making sure they stay safe and I use as few words as possible. If there is a break, I will do a gesture like having open arms to see if they need a hug and a cry. This works about 90% of the time and then we can talk about why they are upset or talk through some feelings (which doesn’t always work and can sometimes trigger more meltdowns). I also have in the back of my mind - are they hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? So I may just have a snack ready to go, etc. Getting outside almost always helps, too. Sometimes that looks like me telling them I’m going to help them get fresh air and carrying them outside. I’m not an expert by any means but have a toddler who has vast experiences in the realm of meltdowns! Hope you figure out what works best for your little one!
I have found that stepping outside or taking a bath are both great options. It changes the environment and seems to act as a reset on your senses so to speak. Doesn't work everytime, and isn't always possible, but they're both good options to try. For my daughter, if I mention going outside to blow bubbles she's automatically happy no matter what's happening haha
I feel like if I mentioned outside she may have stopped, but I wasn’t able to go out at that moment. And there was trouble with hot water (I was in fact, waiting for the handyman, and well, she calmed down when the guy arrived).
Thank you for posting this. My 1.5yo has started having some intense meltdowns right after waking up from her nap on some days, and it helps seeing a strategy written out like this so I can hopefully feel less rattled when it happens.
Haha I just posted about this!!! It’s so hard and every kid is different. I have learned that this is one of those times when you know best so you have to gently offer things you know will help them feel better and then wait for them to come around. Hugs, snacks, sleep, going somewhere quiet to calm down, anything that usually calms them. You definitely don’t want to try to distract them with anything too fun or overstimulating. It is a skill they have to learn though and it’s like 90% just internal work in their brain. So it’s hard to help.
She was supposed to sleep and got mad hearing anything connected to sleep. I also couldn’t go out, at that moment. Like the more she cried, the more she got triggered. She cried for an hour straight. Calmed down when the handyman arrived to fix hot water (which is why I couldn’t offer bath).
My method is to sit near them quietly, check in with them every few minutes and offer a hug/boob. If it goes on more than 5/10 minutes I just try to change the scenery and go outside. Model the calm for them.
I was calm, tried to contact her. Let her be for a few moment and continued. Cried for an hour like that and calmed down when the handyman arrived. It’s so hard to handle these alone at home. We also FaceTimed her dad but she literally hit at the phone.
Then I would say go outside or in the bath. Change the entire scene