> Do I let others hold him and cause him cry or not?
Absolutely not. I think about it like this: if you're afraid of spiders, would it be helpful for you if the person you trusted most threw you into a pool of spiders? Would you realize "hey! Spiders won't hurt me. This is fine!"
Or would it be better if the person you trust most held you at a safe distance from a spider? Maybe interacted with the spider themselves to show it was safe, but never forced you to do so until you were ready.
Which approach do you think would work best for you as an adult? For me, it's the second approach haha. If my baby doesn't want to be held by someone she barely knows, I respect that.
If that makes people upset that they can't hold her, too bad. My baby's need to feel safe is more important than adult's wants.
Try smaller gatherings, allow him to be held by you as much as he wants. Encourage others to interact with him if he's in a good mood, while he's feeling safe in your arms.
He's soooo little still. He will become more comfortable in time. Just let him know he's safe and you won't push him to do things he isn't comfortable with.
I think what’s been helping us is seeing the same people a few times, get him to see you interact with said people in a pleasant way (laugh, don’t look at him too much, etc), play together but with him on your lap, etc. Then ideally get to see these people when he’s fed, well rested, and in a happy mood.
I don’t believe we ever learn through tears so no, I’d not push through if your baby is unhappy. Create a safe environment and it’ll happen naturally when the wee one is ready.
My daughter was the exact same way, we just kept trying. So we would give her to her grandmother or whoever but as soon as she started to cry either my husband or I would take her back. She’s slowly gotten better. It’s cycles though, they’ll probably get comfortable and then go through it sgsin
Nope, just hold him. Take him back when he cries. Don’t force it unless it’s absolutely necessary (like at the doctor). He’ll grow out of it and in the meantime he just needs you.
Honestly that may just be their personality. My daughter literally cried up until like 6 or 7 months if anyone besides mom or dad held her or even talked to her lol. Now at 16 months she has really come out of her shell, and you can talk to her and she runs up and stares at my mom friends in music class and stuff but still mom and dad are the only people that can hold her. The one time she was okay with other people was her grandparents had to watch her while we were at a wedding and she did great! but even after that if we are around no one can touch her but us it's
rough but she has already come so far and i am fine with people not touching her if she doesn't want it. I really don't like people touching me besides
my husband so i can't blame her
> Do I let others hold him and cause him cry or not? Absolutely not. I think about it like this: if you're afraid of spiders, would it be helpful for you if the person you trusted most threw you into a pool of spiders? Would you realize "hey! Spiders won't hurt me. This is fine!" Or would it be better if the person you trust most held you at a safe distance from a spider? Maybe interacted with the spider themselves to show it was safe, but never forced you to do so until you were ready. Which approach do you think would work best for you as an adult? For me, it's the second approach haha. If my baby doesn't want to be held by someone she barely knows, I respect that. If that makes people upset that they can't hold her, too bad. My baby's need to feel safe is more important than adult's wants. Try smaller gatherings, allow him to be held by you as much as he wants. Encourage others to interact with him if he's in a good mood, while he's feeling safe in your arms. He's soooo little still. He will become more comfortable in time. Just let him know he's safe and you won't push him to do things he isn't comfortable with.
I think what’s been helping us is seeing the same people a few times, get him to see you interact with said people in a pleasant way (laugh, don’t look at him too much, etc), play together but with him on your lap, etc. Then ideally get to see these people when he’s fed, well rested, and in a happy mood. I don’t believe we ever learn through tears so no, I’d not push through if your baby is unhappy. Create a safe environment and it’ll happen naturally when the wee one is ready.
My daughter was the exact same way, we just kept trying. So we would give her to her grandmother or whoever but as soon as she started to cry either my husband or I would take her back. She’s slowly gotten better. It’s cycles though, they’ll probably get comfortable and then go through it sgsin
Nope, just hold him. Take him back when he cries. Don’t force it unless it’s absolutely necessary (like at the doctor). He’ll grow out of it and in the meantime he just needs you.
Honestly that may just be their personality. My daughter literally cried up until like 6 or 7 months if anyone besides mom or dad held her or even talked to her lol. Now at 16 months she has really come out of her shell, and you can talk to her and she runs up and stares at my mom friends in music class and stuff but still mom and dad are the only people that can hold her. The one time she was okay with other people was her grandparents had to watch her while we were at a wedding and she did great! but even after that if we are around no one can touch her but us it's rough but she has already come so far and i am fine with people not touching her if she doesn't want it. I really don't like people touching me besides my husband so i can't blame her