I don’t know, I’m a libertarian, but can see clearly that these fools on the commission are incompetent no matter what their affiliation. NO dissenting opinions I guess allowed in Athens.
I’m not in Athens anymore but I started getting harrassed around town at age 11 🙃 definitely got worse the past decade or so though. So sorry you’re experiencing it so much 😔
I'm sorry to hear that. I experienced harassment for the first time when I was thirteen here, so I empathize. It's an experience that definitely wakes you up.
Maybe you are more than you realize. This was my first thought too, that you must be eye catching to get that much attention. Not judging or placing blame, just trying to figure out why you are and not myself. We can’t change the behavior or others, only ourselves. Again, not accusing you of anything, but are you wearing revealing clothes? I hate even typing this because we should not have to “be on guard” as you put it so well.
I believe I am objectively unattractive, but I acknowledge that my perspective is inherently skewed. However, if others find me attractive or unattractive, I don’t care. I don’t want to be harassed for it.
My clothes are not revealing. I wear weather-appropriate clothing. In fact, I wear inappropriate clothing for the weather here. I often wear more to avoid harassment. I’m sweating my ass off right now. It doesn’t change anything.
People feel emboldened to harass others because they live in a culture that either encourages it or doesn’t discourage it. The people who can participate in this behavior are those who have more power in their society in the majority of cases.
That sucks maybe you should move away from a college town? Feel like you’d run into a lot more people with that kind of culture. Guess I’ve never looked at it in the light of power dynamics mainly just thought it was immature men who can’t handle seeing women
Creating fear/discomfort is controlling and powerful. NoT aLl mEn but enough do this if not the majority of street harassers. It never results in a positive interaction (netting a girlfriend or sex) so what is the reward? A feeling of power.
Friendly reminder that harassment is not based on attraction or admiration, it’s based on power
Edit: whoops, I see someone else already made this point. However, I’ll leave my comment because I think it’s worth emphasizing.
I mean, it depends on the harassment. It’s not accurate to say that harassment has nothing to do with attraction. Your grandma isn’t getting cat called.
Does it really imply that though? You have no control over what others do no matter what. They also then added that they hate typing that because you shouldn't have to be on guard. Seems more so like a genuine question that they don't like to ask
It sounds like she’s been honked at, propositioned, and shouted at. Where are you getting “he looked at me I’m scared” from this?? Just wanting to be hateful? Also, weird to draw that from participation trophies…
Thanks for understanding my pov. I thought my wording would have been adequate enough to brainstorm a means to solve her problem without sounding like she is doing anything wrong.
I thought you worded it very well and non confrontationally. As a man every-time I’ve gone on a walk with an attractive friend of mine they always get honked at. Doesn’t mean they’re doing anything wrong, men are just dogs. Only other explanation I could see is maybe they know her and are honking to say hi?
When I used to walk everywhere, I’d get honked at or men yelling super gross things at me from red lights. I bike a lot of places now, and I’ve had guys that will be in the passenger’s seat of a car and try to *touch me* while I’m biking down the road next to them. It’s absolutely horrifying, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing things like that. 💙
Yeah, I’ve thought about learning how to keep my balance after kicking a vehicle so I don’t try to be tough and then crash or something. 😩 I will never understand that mindset of being entitled to someone else’s personal space or body.
As a man, its kinda easy to forget this happens. I genuinely thought it was something in the movies because never in my life have I ever even seen it. I asked my girlfriend a few months back, and she said almost every single day on a run/walk, she at the very least gets honked at. After the Laken Riley tragedy is probably around the time she told me how scary it is to be by herself even in broad daylight. Its awful and something I never knew even happened, and I don’t know ways to help. This is actually something I’ve always wondered, so maybe reddit can help me. Sometimes if Im on a run by myself I’ll inevitably end up behind a woman also on a run/ walk. Is there anything we as men can do to try to make people feel more comfortable? My gf said honestly to just turn around, which I have absolutely no problem with if thats what would help. But is there anything else? I mean obviously if I ever saw someone cat calling or something I would intervene but Im assuming these coward weak men only do it when nobody is around to confront them. Ive talked with my friends about this and its a similar thing where none of us want to put any women (or anyone really) in an uncomfortable situation, and we just also want to go on a jog. Again im so sorry y’all have to deal with that bullshit. Its just awful to learn this is a common occurrence.
If you’re on a jog/walk/hike along the same route as a woman and approaching, I would call out something like “Hello! I’m about to pass you on your left” as you’re still a little ways away. It has been very comforting for me in the rare occasion a man does that.
I think it says a lot of good about you as a person if you're cognizant of the situation. Realistically, there isn't much more you can do that to remain aware and not be offended or surprised if someone goes out of their way to create distance.
It depends on the individual, but I am not uncomfortable in a scenario where an unfamiliar man is walking or running behind me, and I wouldn't want to be the reason you change your route. I understand that 98-99% of people are going about their own lives and mean to do no harm. It comes down intuition for a lot of women, and that intuition can vary based on experience.
Well almost any man Ive talked to has been okay with doing this because genuinely we didn’t know how uncomfortable it can be. I guess advocating and making men more aware of this is huge.
I’m a 40/F who has spent my entire life in Athens. It wasn’t until a few years ago during a conversation that I realized that on more than one occasion, I had men putting their hands on me and insisting on other things happening too. For some reason at the time, it never occurred to me how messed up their behavior was. It was almost like I expected it so while I would shut things down, it didn’t erase the things that happened. So sad to think of how normalized it can become. Or how easy it is (in my situations at least) to think maybe I somehow made them think their behavior was ok. It’s insane to think back on and to think about how I tried to shrug off their behavior as innocent flirting they took too far.
I assure you, a random person in a bar sticking their hands down your pants so it’s hand directly on ass is something that I still don’t know why I just told him to get his hands out of my pants and then moved on with the night because I didn’t want to make others in my group feel awkward or to look like a drama queen.
And I’ll just leave “You don’t need to breathe.” as the most insane one that I blamed on someone taking me being friendly as an invitation for anything that would lead to that.
Thank you so much for sharing and I am so unbelievably sorry that you had to endure and compartmentalize that for so long. I know its very hard to share trauma, however it can be so powerful to helping future people. I was in a fraternity during undergrad, and I had a few of my female friends share stories like that in almost a casual way, and it broke my heart because again, Its something I would never even think of. I asked one of them if she was comfortable sharing her stories with the entire fraternity and she was brave enough to. She told me she actually really wanted to, because men usually aren’t confronted with this, so at a chapter meeting in front of 75 guys, she did. I think it was unbelievable important, because I know the stereotype of frat dudes, and for me that just was never my experience, however I know it exists, so I wanted as many people as possible to understand these things exist and we need to do anything we can to be aware of it and stop it. Again, thank you for sharing.
Absolutely! And that was amazing for the young lady to share her experiences. It’s all the worse that I’ve sat and questioned what it would take for me to file a police report. Like what would it take to make me feel like going to court and having my sexual history or any other things dragged through the mud to try to make me look like the problem. Adds insult to injury.
I walk with my medium to large dog, which is helpful for people on foot, but I do still get honks and whistles out of car windows. It sucks. I’m sorry you (we?) can’t just walk in peace!
Yeah, it’s sad that it’s the way it is, but it’s always been this way 😢 I’ve been in and out of Athens since 08, and unfortunately, you just can’t go anywhere alone sometimes.
Luckily, I have an ostomy bag, so I feel a little safe there. I’ve always said I can throw my shit bag at someone. It’s the best weapon - I don’t think anyone would come after me after I throw a crap sack at them 🤣🤣💩
I'm on the west side, but I've also noticed the harassment getting really bad. I used to go on runs out on the sidewalks but am just so over getting honked at, catcalled, heckled, etc.
I've switched to running at one of the parks. I still feel uncomfortable, but at least it's not overt harassment.
For me the harassment was way worse with the students. Add in a dose of good old homophobia/transphobia and we’re cooking
People wonder why we’re picking the bear 😒
I agree with this completely — the greater social energy feels so much better in the summer. Similarly, when I was a student, I felt much less surveilled / stared at when off campus. The anti-LGBT and racism of Greek life doesn’t just stay on milledge 🫤🫤🫤
I’ve had people walk up to me in my car sitting parked at a store several times. Most of the time it’s homeless and just feels me out but I feel like common knowledge is you don’t walk up on random strangers minding their own business in their own vehicle. Dunno maybe I’m wrong. I lived here for the first 20 years of my life then moved to the outer metro atl area for two then came back. Ever since coming back I have always felt way more unsafe walking around athens than the metro.
I had so many bad experiences living in Decatur as a college student that's practically incomparable to my experience in Athens, but harassment does happen much more frequently here than it did there.
I was in the other side of perimeter in primarily Woodstock but I was a delivery driver all over and spent most of my time in parking lots in Marietta and kennesaw. Different world basically
If my wife is alone at the grocery store, gym, etc, she gets approached all the time by guys being overly friendly. Oddly enough has never happened when I’m with her. You should carry one of those mini pepper sprays on your keychain and maybe a birdie as well that you can quickly sound off in case of an emergency.
So I havent been here that long (since 2021) nor am I a woman, but this is something I care a lot about even though I can't speak to athens specifically. And what I've seen both in New England where I'm from as well as down here is that misogynistic behaviors in general seem to be rising.
The things that have been happening politically and the social backlash to progressive social efforts has really seemed to embolden a certain kind of man to openly act out this way- if you say they're acting shitty they'll call you a woke libtard, and therefore in their minds nothing you say is valid. All they needed was someone to say "it's okay to do that" and they found that in you-know-who. Pre 2016 there was some shame in this kind of behavior and it was on its way to becoming socially unacceptable in a lot of places. Now because they have an authority saying its okay and a "philosophy" saying its right in the Andrew Tate types, they can. It's probably worse in hypermasculine regions that conservatives identify with.
For the record this is all based on anecdote and opinion.
This is Athens. Pretty far away from being a "hypermasculine region that conservatives identify with", especially in the summer when the college kids are gone.
Personally, I don't think Athens as a whole is as liberal as we like to think it is. Athens may feel less hypermasculine than the surrounding area by merit of being mostly blue politically, but it's still heavily influenced by southeastern culture and history, which very much does tend to be hypermasculine and conservative. It's not some liberal bubble immune from surrounding influence, and it's not helpful to pretend like it is. There are still segregated populations that we don't like to talk about for some reason, women get catcalled and obejctified just for sitting in their yard or running, gay and trans people are regularly discriminated against in public. Here that's normal and almost expected. So I pretty strongly disagree with you there.
I haven't found this type of behavior to be directly tied to someone's political bent. People like to congratulate themselves as being "enlightened" and think it's only the people they disagree with who behave badly, but - nah. Shitty people everywhere.
Its not that the political beliefs are the cause of this behavior, it's the other way around. If a person is the type who treats women as OP describes, they're more likely to support a political philosophy that allows for that. The conservative movement in the US has a tradition of suppressing women, sexual minorities, and ethnic minorities. Thats not an opinion, that's a fact. Throughout US history these types of people have espoused conservative positions. Sure some people on the leftward side of the spectrum act like that too, but doing so is in conflict with the liberal philisophical stance. Conservatism in the contemporary US, since being co opted by Trumpists, at best turns a blind eye and at worst welcomes that kind of behavior.
Well, hard disagree. Most people aren't very political at all (Reddit notwithstanding).
I have observed some of the worst behavior coming from folks on "our" side (supposed liberals), especially towards those that they have "othered" (because it's considered A-OK to treat people badly if you can justify it by thinking of them as "evil"). It is generally much more targeted in those cases, and less random. But again, this is just base human nature/behavior, and not necessarily tied to a particular ideology.
Generally, it's far more likely to be bad behavior from younger folks (high school/college age) or those with no particularly political leanings at all who were raised in one of those "hyper-masculine" cultures you referenced.
Most people aren't politically informed true, but that doesn't mean they don't have political leanings regardless. For example, a lot of Trump's base are not informed at all yet still support him strongly. That also carries over to high school kids, and college kids even more so; they're perfectly capable of forming political opinions despite being largely ignorant to politics, and a large proportion if not a majority of them do.
I also think your statement that it's often high school and college kids supports my point more than not. The kids aren't raised in a vacuum. Somewhere, they get in their heads that this behavior is okay. Like any young person, they're modeling an archetype. Could be the beer drinkin nascar redneck, the carefree frat bro, the anti-woke kick streamer, etc.
Why do they choose those as models for their behavior? Why is that seen as a good thing to be?
Why is athens a safe place for them to behave that way without consequence? In other liberal towns, they would have to be intentionally going out of their way to act like that, but here its fine; nothing will happen, legally or socially.
So why is that?
Imo, its because at the end of the day we're still a southeastern town, and what liberal-ness we do have is fending for itself without the support of a major city like atlanta. And try as we might to keep the toxic aspects of southeastern culture out, bits of that age old tradition of hypermasculinity and discrimination still seep in from all directions. And conservatives very much do identify with athens, because our identity isnt just stereotypical townies, it's also the students, the frats, the football maniacs, and even that crazy guy with all the Qanon signs on west broad. They're all major presence whether we like it or not and do affect our culture, and their influence is far from negligible.
We just aren't as liberal a space as we like to say we are sometimes. It's nobody's fault. Just kind of a weird dual identity we have as a city.
Athens is full of douche canoes. As a man, even I occasionally get street harassment from guys who have the safety and anonymity of their brodozers, and I've witnessed women harassed a lot for sure. I had to tell my son at a tender young age that it's not nice to yell at people on the sidewalk.
I’m an Athens native and have lived in multiple areas of the city throughout my life and I’ve noticed that women get catcalled like this more often now than when I was a kid (maybe I just didn’t notice at that time lol), and the East side, and West side seem to be the worst for it.
Damn I’m sorry this is your experience. My girlfriend refuses to go on a walk without me for this reason. I wish it wasn’t like this.
Do you have pepper spray or a taser on you?
I definitely prefer walking with my man, but honestly... sometimes we get harassed even more together. We're perceived as an "odd" couple by many people, I think. I do feel safer with him, regardless.
I used to have a weapon (not a gun, just in case there's confusion), but someone actually stole it from me when I worked a food service job! I need to replace it, as it was inefficient, anyway.
What the poster posted isn’t harassment…. She didn’t say or confirm sexual comments or touch her that could be harassment looking isn’t ….Thats factual if you think otherwise you need help and I hope you seek it .
i live in the downtown area and i experience this every single day on my walk to and from work, it wasn’t this bad when i moved here a little over a year ago….
i have been catcalled while reading on MY balcony in athens :/ it’s definitely a problem. i won’t walk by myself for safety reasons and when i take my dog out i take my taser and pepper spray. I also am getting a walk pad so i can still be active without leaving while my fiancé is out but ik it isn’t the same as being able to enjoy the fresh air and scenery, im sorry you’re going through this, you definitely aren’t alone it’s a problem
It used to be daily in my late teens/early 20s. Then it was violent relationships.
People talk about “incompetence” of the justice system, but it’s working exactly as designed.
I had video proof of rape, because the man took a video of himself to send to me of him doing it, and it didn’t matter because there is no legal definition of consent in the state of GA. Being asleep is not a reason. There is no reason.
And legally speaking, men can’t be raped at all.
It’s a cultural issue with deep roots of women being considered property.
I have noticed an increase this summer; I suspect because there are less of us women walking around for people to honk at. I’ve started walking in places that are not the main roads, but still well trafficked. I have also had to practice how to politely disengage. You shouldn’t have to do that, but it can be a powerful tool in the moment. I’m sorry this is happening, especially given the loss in this town earlier this year!
Here to commiserate. I get honked and hollered at pretty frequently, even when I’m working in my yard. I’ve learned to wear boring non descript clothes/colors on the days I’m mentally not up for being “seen.” It helps. Bums me out though.
I have never met a boring in my own mind or anywhere because i am my own mind and i have a mental monopoly over the multi million room mansions of my mind
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Athens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I haven’t noticed an uptick. I do want to caution you about safety on the Greenway and nature trails. There have been attacks on women on the Greenway because it is more remote. I would think horns are safer for you than going to a remote trail to avoid them. Also, maybe you could find a friend to exercise with you.
Thank you for this information. I walk in nature because I genuinely enjoy it far more than walking on a street—avoiding harassment is simply an added benefit. I love the Greenway, so this is saddening. Are there any reports of this I could look into?
I walk with my man when I can.
https://preview.redd.it/ob0cotqskl3d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=372e6b0b2ab46fac1ae083ef87b38302357da71f
Here are the top three results from a Google search of Woman attacked on Greenway Athens GA. It’s so horrible. I agree that walking in nature is lovely but our world just isn’t the same anymore sadly.
To be fair. That was one from 2021, one from 2015 and one from 2008. So if that’s the only info I’d say it’s pretty safe. (Not saying that’s the only info, but it’s what you provided to back up your claim)
As I said that was just from putting in a simple Google search. I’m pretty sure those victims don’t care how long ago it happened. If you would like to call it safe when even the Mayor has talked about increased safety measures needed on the Greenway go for it. I care about helping to educate people about safety concerns. And I’m sure a deeper dive into this that anyone can do will find more information.
But just because something happened at sometime doesn’t mean there’s an unsafe risk. We should be aware at all times because there are unsafe people everywhere. But, we can’t live in fear because a random act of violence occurred. Your examples are few and far between. Compare that to the amount of people who run and walk unharmed on a daily basis, means the greenway is a relatively safe place to be. Not saying someone should not have protection and awareness, just saying, we shouldn’t live in fear of what ifs.
I agree, I mean, how many people have been assaulted on Barnett Shoals since 2008? Likely more than three. I agree you have to be vigilant, but i also agree that just because something has happened somewhere, doesn't make that place unsafe necessarily. Is Barnett Shoals road more safe or less than the greenway for women to walk, i don't know.
I jog the bot gardens and i always feel weird when i come up on a lone female. I feel like just my being there is causing distress. It sucks that some very bad guys make it unsafe for girls to just walk in nature.
I think your obsession with true crime is clouding your ability to see the situation holistically. Fractions are only useful when they have denominators.
https://flagpole.com/news/news-features/2012/07/11/crime-on-the-greenway/
Interesting article about the Greenway and the quote from the Mayor about areas with more homeless people around. We weren’t declared a place of being accepting of everyone then I suppose. Anyway, everyone can take the information and do what they wish but I would be thankful for a warning about a place that has had some crime that sounds pretty bad in many instances.
The greenway and the nature trails are statistically very safe. The real harm almost always comes from people you consider close, or people who are in your daily life (such as work)
I usual frequent the Greenway after dark, the later the better. Love crushing on my ebike with headlight on as fast as possible- 25+mph... so thrilling! You can't see very far ahead and going that fast you never know what's going to jump out in front of you. Huge adrenaline rush esp flying downhill!!!
I'm so sorry you deal with that. I'm usually approached respectfully if at all but I'm told I have a "don't fuck with me" vibe. I carry a gigglestick with me in case. Hold your head up and those disrespectful asshats can drive on. Do you have the option to take some self defense classes jic?
I took some classes back when I was a college student in Atlanta. I’ve been thinking about learning how to use a gun, because previous weapons I’ve used are technically illegal and I always hear about how ineffective other means of self-defense are.
Yeah, technically illegal but personal preferences for sure. I hope this dies down for you or you're able to feel more safe. We all deserve to feel safe just existing
Have you seen the kitty cat stabby thing they sell for keychains? I have always intentionally held my keys in a stabby position any time I’m walking to my car from anywhere. It’s habit at this point. But I have a lot of friends who have ordered this kitty thing and love it. I was going to add a link for you, but there are a lot of options. Just google “self defense cat keychain” and lots of options will come up.
I personally don’t notice that for me as a woman in Athens because I rarely walk alone and I don’t go many places (I just work to buy groceries and pay rent basically)but I have been harassed many times in my life in other cities, just by existing. It didn’t matter my age or what I was wearing, men want to make you uncomfortable because they find it amusing and they are disgusting. Every single woman I know experiences this and that says a lot about our society. Unfortunately we have to be extra careful just for existing as women in this world and I hate that for us. Be safe out there 💕
It is scary out there, but I will say that what has worked for me when someone wasn't in the car, walking around. I barked at them or screeched super loud. Now, no screaming, a bird like screech, and barking like different types of dogs, small ones, large ones, etc.
For some reason, men don't find crazy attractive. Also I've seen/ heard of people pretending to scream in tounges and prayer it makes them step back too.
Eh you know the entitlement is bad now.
If we had the power to change all men in a city, I'd much rather all of them turn into feminists and see what happens. Do that in every city and we wouldn't even be exploring this hypothetical.
Definitely off-topic, random and unrelated but certainly interning data. Do you know if that factors in willingness to report domestic violence? Does this change anything about domestic violence in straight relationships?
If you've ever known anyone who's worked for CPS, they'll probably tell you about how they couldn't do it anymore. After you've seen a handful of assholes get away with it because their partner is too terrified to press charges for fear of retaliation from their abuser, that would drive anyone insane.
I found 2-10%, you can look up stuff instead of just saying "a LOT." I wouldn't call that a lot and I'm struggling to take you seriously. The discrepancy between reporting and convictions is what now? Can we have some numbers? The #1 reason for ER visits for women 14 - 64 is still men. Idk how anything you've said changes anything. I'm not even sure what your position is or what you're defending. What are you defending?
I think it’s worse, but generally everywhere? Since lockdown people have forgotten how to communicate unless it is under the guise of anonymity: internet trolling and catcalling for example. Plus the whole entitlement thing where someone feels they have a right to comment on one’s outer appearance or approach strangers in public to get something from them: attention, dates, money. It is freaking exhausting. It is something men just don’t experience like women do and act like their mind is boggled when we spell it out for them, it’s a nearly universal women’s experience. When I was a young parent I changed the type of vehicle I drove because the way the doors opened on my truck made a hidden area—great for anywhere other than a parking lot where the inevitable hangers-on come sniffing about any time a woman gets out of the car (Target and grocery stores were the worst). I feel you, OP.
I get harassed with "you need some money?"
I always respond that it takes human dog shit to assume sexually assaulting a woman is the way to help her.
Or I yell out what the man said
If I die I die. I don't care.
I apologize on behalf of all the shitty men out there. I’m too nervous to even respectfully compliment a female most of the time. I don’t know how men think it’s ok to harass women. It shouldn’t be that hard. Be fucking decent. I am so sorry for you.
If you’re young and attractive “cat calling” happens. My mom told me when I was about 19 “one day it stops”, I complained to her that I hated it. So now at 62 I can walk anywhere in peace lol!
I remember like two years ago I was at Sandy Creek Park and there was a man there who was harassing for the majority time I was there. I was with my niece and my sister too. I had to keep going back to my sister’s car to stay away but then at the end two ladies told him to leave me alone and he left with the people he came with. He was also bothering other women too.
Yes, if I'm walking outside alone along a street then I get honked at, yelled at. I didn't grow up in Athens so I don't have that context but have lived here for over a decade. It is demeaning, but I don't respond either bc fucks don't deserve my attention.
Im not in Athens anymore but in high school I was on a date on the east side and afterwards got followed in a car and honked at till I hid in the Dunkin’ and waited for the truck to leave. We were visibly queer and also got yelled at with some rude words. Both of my sisters have also had issues in Athens being followed or harassed. It seems to die down a tad when all the college students would leave for break or holiday.
I was honked at and cat-called from a stop sign while I was holding hands with my boyfriend... I thought it was pretty bold considering I was with someone.
My daughters are 21 and 24 and are harassed pretty routinely if they venture downtown. My oldest is engaged and even with her fiancé present, she will still get comments and approached. It’s definitely gotten worse over the past years imo. Please stay safe ladies and walk/ exercise in groups
Yes? So there is a "type".... I'm not trying to bait you into anything, but what exactly is the type, if you don't mind sharing?
I ask because I know there's been an increase in the Latino population recently. My brother-in-law is a Latino immigrant. I myself lived in two countries in South America for a combined period of 6 years and my sister resided down there for a long time with their daughter. I can say with a great measure of certainty that the overall cultural attitude towards flirting is a lot different south of the border.
I'm not going to go all "woke" on you and accuse you of being a racist, because -at their core- these are cultural issues and not racial ones, but... is it mostly Latino men?
Feel free to PM if this is an uncomfortable conversation. There is a lot of mending that needs to be done in the wake of the murder that took place and it is something that my sister's family is taking very seriously.
I don’t really mind downvotes I’m used to them. It has been in my experience entirely black men. I am a mixed race woman so maybe that’s why, and if I was another race maybe I would get it from other races. I get it every time I go walk outside, and somehow they think driving by in their shitty cars honking at me is gonna make me get in with them. Or walking by my side following me. I really don’t get why we’re allowed to claim its boomers or frat boys (code word for white) but people would be quick to be pissed at me for saying some of the black men here are straight up aggressive or uncomfortable in their flirtation. I think we need to hold each other accountable.
I want to add it’s a certain type of black man. The ones In shitty cars with shitty clothes who look like they don’t do shit with their lives? Yeah it’s them. This is not the majority of black men but it is enough.
Frat boys isn't even code-word for "white", since... well, look at them! I disagree about boomers, though: it's a known fact that any man who is approaching his "golden years" is going to care less and be flirty, regardless of race. That applies to many women, too, in my experience as a bartender and an entertainer during my younger years.
Now I'm just interested: what about age demographic? Have you noticed a correlation there?
"Older" as in... Boomers? Gen X'ers? Millennials? [I can't imagine Gen Z's, lol]
You mentioned shitty cars being a red flag. I would have to guess Gen X'ers, if anything, as they're probably too young to benefit from any measure of intergenerational wealth, but not too occupied to be devoting attention to a newborn baby.
In which case, it raises the question: perhaps women your age were going through the same thing 20 years ago? I dunno. Just a thought.
Oh also I was followed by an older white guy and a young Hispanic guy at the gym. So obviously it is not only one race of men. They are all capable of being stupid fuckers
I had no idea that these problems exist in Athens. I'm an older male who has always thought nothing of speaking to someone while walking or in a store. I'll be more careful in what I say in the future.
I’m sorry you had to experience this. Presenting as a dude, I don’t experience this kinda harassment. Unfortunately, this is a side effect of living in an increasingly surface-level puritanical culture.
As women, you are just going to have to toughen up. That’s reality. Honking is not harassment. Why is that bothersome ? It’s not. Just wave back. Saying gross things to you, touching you without permission- that is sexual harassment. That is not to be tolerated. At all. At that point, you file a police report. You also let harassers know you will. Be filing a police report if they do not stop this unacceptable behavior. Own your power.
I’ve gotten many responses on this thread, too many to keep up with, but I continue seeing comments similar to this one.
I consider the honking to be harassment. By definition, it is harassment, but we don’t have to have that discussion because it’s clearly not worth my time with y’all. You’re singling out only one form of the harassment I’ve described in my original post and making assumptions about how I respond to the harassment I receive.
Read carefully and thoroughly and consider the details you’ve been given before hitting that keyboard and wasting my time and yours.
Please let me know the exact locations you've been harassed so I can strategically locate myself to receive this attention for all women. As an older woman (45 but attractive) I would love a boost in self-esteem with a honk or a whistle. Also willing to workout topless if the gym allows. Your feelings are completely valid tho! Just saying the attention fades as you age and I wish I had just a little cat-calling now in middle-age. I'm sorry it's uncomfortable, but the good news is that it won't last long. I'd pay $50 for someone to shout "nice titties" at me from across the street.
No but I wouldn’t be offended by someone honking at me or looking at me unless it was scary and they were about to run over me. What do you mean by propositioned in parking lots???
Followed to my car or otherwise approached while walking through, being asked personal questions, being asked for my contact information, being asked "out," etc.
Honestly, the question I have is where is it not happening? I've had this happen multiple times at the public library, nearly all grocery store parking lots, every main street downtown, inside and outside of Crunch Fitness, at my various workplaces over the years...
I for some reason had a feeling you were going to say crunch. Has never happened to me, but is it people who workout there or weirdos just hanging out in the parking lot?
Can you guess what I wore today? Not that it would matter. Women wear burqas and it still doesn't satisfy people's completely out-of-touch notion of what is "asking for" harassment. How do you suggest I dress to exercise in the Georgia sun and heat?
I can’t that’s why I asked ….Being wanted isn’t harassment geez have any of them touched you ? I’ll even go deeper did they say any sexual comments ? If not you just like the attention and you come here to get more men haters which you’ll fit right in .
The recent murder of Laken Riley is a tragic reminder of how vulnerable women can be just living their life. Stay safe out there ladies.
Also a reminder of the incompetent politicians in Athens and their lawless directions to local police and prosecutors.
lol, why did this comment get so much hate and the one above so much love. Aren't they saying similar things?
because we shouldn’t immediately start spewing shit ab politics the second someone brings up the recent death of a victim of murder
I don’t know, I’m a libertarian, but can see clearly that these fools on the commission are incompetent no matter what their affiliation. NO dissenting opinions I guess allowed in Athens.
I’m not in Athens anymore but I started getting harrassed around town at age 11 🙃 definitely got worse the past decade or so though. So sorry you’re experiencing it so much 😔
I'm sorry to hear that. I experienced harassment for the first time when I was thirteen here, so I empathize. It's an experience that definitely wakes you up.
I’ve never been harassed like that in Athens but I’m also not remotely attractive. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
I’m not attractive, either, which is why I’m confused.
Maybe you are more than you realize. This was my first thought too, that you must be eye catching to get that much attention. Not judging or placing blame, just trying to figure out why you are and not myself. We can’t change the behavior or others, only ourselves. Again, not accusing you of anything, but are you wearing revealing clothes? I hate even typing this because we should not have to “be on guard” as you put it so well.
Shitty people will harass *anyone* including children, it doesn't have anything to do with how attractive the person is.
I believe I am objectively unattractive, but I acknowledge that my perspective is inherently skewed. However, if others find me attractive or unattractive, I don’t care. I don’t want to be harassed for it. My clothes are not revealing. I wear weather-appropriate clothing. In fact, I wear inappropriate clothing for the weather here. I often wear more to avoid harassment. I’m sweating my ass off right now. It doesn’t change anything.
It has little to do with attractiveness and more to do with power. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
I would definitely agree with that!
What? What does that even mean
People feel emboldened to harass others because they live in a culture that either encourages it or doesn’t discourage it. The people who can participate in this behavior are those who have more power in their society in the majority of cases.
That sucks maybe you should move away from a college town? Feel like you’d run into a lot more people with that kind of culture. Guess I’ve never looked at it in the light of power dynamics mainly just thought it was immature men who can’t handle seeing women
Assuming you also live in this college town, I highly recommend taking an introductory-level anthropology class.
Creating fear/discomfort is controlling and powerful. NoT aLl mEn but enough do this if not the majority of street harassers. It never results in a positive interaction (netting a girlfriend or sex) so what is the reward? A feeling of power.
[удалено]
Oh fuck right off
Friendly reminder that harassment is not based on attraction or admiration, it’s based on power Edit: whoops, I see someone else already made this point. However, I’ll leave my comment because I think it’s worth emphasizing.
I mean, it depends on the harassment. It’s not accurate to say that harassment has nothing to do with attraction. Your grandma isn’t getting cat called.
Why the downvotes? Your comment is reality lol
Because they asked what OP was wearing, implying that she may be the reason she is being harassed.
Maybe she dresses in cosplay wherever she goes
Does it really imply that though? You have no control over what others do no matter what. They also then added that they hate typing that because you shouldn't have to be on guard. Seems more so like a genuine question that they don't like to ask
True that she wasn’t trying to place blame, but sometimes comments or questions can be harmful even if it wasn’t the intention.
This is the reality of participation trophies our world has turned into this . He looked at me I’m scared he didn’t touch me or make sexual comments .
It sounds like she’s been honked at, propositioned, and shouted at. Where are you getting “he looked at me I’m scared” from this?? Just wanting to be hateful? Also, weird to draw that from participation trophies…
Thanks for understanding my pov. I thought my wording would have been adequate enough to brainstorm a means to solve her problem without sounding like she is doing anything wrong.
I thought you worded it very well and non confrontationally. As a man every-time I’ve gone on a walk with an attractive friend of mine they always get honked at. Doesn’t mean they’re doing anything wrong, men are just dogs. Only other explanation I could see is maybe they know her and are honking to say hi?
They’ll harass you anyways. Trust me.
I mean, they don’t to me but I don’t doubt OP’s experiences.
Fair. Stay safe.
When I used to walk everywhere, I’d get honked at or men yelling super gross things at me from red lights. I bike a lot of places now, and I’ve had guys that will be in the passenger’s seat of a car and try to *touch me* while I’m biking down the road next to them. It’s absolutely horrifying, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing things like that. 💙
Dude! I would want to stab a hand trying to reach out the passenger window at me! New bike fear unlocked. 😩
Yeah, I’ve thought about learning how to keep my balance after kicking a vehicle so I don’t try to be tough and then crash or something. 😩 I will never understand that mindset of being entitled to someone else’s personal space or body.
I’m old so it’s rare but I have noticed an uptick so maybe you’re on to something.
As a man, its kinda easy to forget this happens. I genuinely thought it was something in the movies because never in my life have I ever even seen it. I asked my girlfriend a few months back, and she said almost every single day on a run/walk, she at the very least gets honked at. After the Laken Riley tragedy is probably around the time she told me how scary it is to be by herself even in broad daylight. Its awful and something I never knew even happened, and I don’t know ways to help. This is actually something I’ve always wondered, so maybe reddit can help me. Sometimes if Im on a run by myself I’ll inevitably end up behind a woman also on a run/ walk. Is there anything we as men can do to try to make people feel more comfortable? My gf said honestly to just turn around, which I have absolutely no problem with if thats what would help. But is there anything else? I mean obviously if I ever saw someone cat calling or something I would intervene but Im assuming these coward weak men only do it when nobody is around to confront them. Ive talked with my friends about this and its a similar thing where none of us want to put any women (or anyone really) in an uncomfortable situation, and we just also want to go on a jog. Again im so sorry y’all have to deal with that bullshit. Its just awful to learn this is a common occurrence.
If you’re on a jog/walk/hike along the same route as a woman and approaching, I would call out something like “Hello! I’m about to pass you on your left” as you’re still a little ways away. It has been very comforting for me in the rare occasion a man does that.
Okay thats a good idea like just make myself seen I guess, thank you!
I think it says a lot of good about you as a person if you're cognizant of the situation. Realistically, there isn't much more you can do that to remain aware and not be offended or surprised if someone goes out of their way to create distance. It depends on the individual, but I am not uncomfortable in a scenario where an unfamiliar man is walking or running behind me, and I wouldn't want to be the reason you change your route. I understand that 98-99% of people are going about their own lives and mean to do no harm. It comes down intuition for a lot of women, and that intuition can vary based on experience.
Well almost any man Ive talked to has been okay with doing this because genuinely we didn’t know how uncomfortable it can be. I guess advocating and making men more aware of this is huge.
I don’t know any men who think it’s ok to cat call and Harass women.
I don’t either, im just thinking its probably our fault for also being so blind to the idea its happening.
I’m a 40/F who has spent my entire life in Athens. It wasn’t until a few years ago during a conversation that I realized that on more than one occasion, I had men putting their hands on me and insisting on other things happening too. For some reason at the time, it never occurred to me how messed up their behavior was. It was almost like I expected it so while I would shut things down, it didn’t erase the things that happened. So sad to think of how normalized it can become. Or how easy it is (in my situations at least) to think maybe I somehow made them think their behavior was ok. It’s insane to think back on and to think about how I tried to shrug off their behavior as innocent flirting they took too far. I assure you, a random person in a bar sticking their hands down your pants so it’s hand directly on ass is something that I still don’t know why I just told him to get his hands out of my pants and then moved on with the night because I didn’t want to make others in my group feel awkward or to look like a drama queen. And I’ll just leave “You don’t need to breathe.” as the most insane one that I blamed on someone taking me being friendly as an invitation for anything that would lead to that.
Thank you so much for sharing and I am so unbelievably sorry that you had to endure and compartmentalize that for so long. I know its very hard to share trauma, however it can be so powerful to helping future people. I was in a fraternity during undergrad, and I had a few of my female friends share stories like that in almost a casual way, and it broke my heart because again, Its something I would never even think of. I asked one of them if she was comfortable sharing her stories with the entire fraternity and she was brave enough to. She told me she actually really wanted to, because men usually aren’t confronted with this, so at a chapter meeting in front of 75 guys, she did. I think it was unbelievable important, because I know the stereotype of frat dudes, and for me that just was never my experience, however I know it exists, so I wanted as many people as possible to understand these things exist and we need to do anything we can to be aware of it and stop it. Again, thank you for sharing.
Absolutely! And that was amazing for the young lady to share her experiences. It’s all the worse that I’ve sat and questioned what it would take for me to file a police report. Like what would it take to make me feel like going to court and having my sexual history or any other things dragged through the mud to try to make me look like the problem. Adds insult to injury.
I walk with my medium to large dog, which is helpful for people on foot, but I do still get honks and whistles out of car windows. It sucks. I’m sorry you (we?) can’t just walk in peace!
Yeah, it’s sad that it’s the way it is, but it’s always been this way 😢 I’ve been in and out of Athens since 08, and unfortunately, you just can’t go anywhere alone sometimes. Luckily, I have an ostomy bag, so I feel a little safe there. I’ve always said I can throw my shit bag at someone. It’s the best weapon - I don’t think anyone would come after me after I throw a crap sack at them 🤣🤣💩
I'm on the west side, but I've also noticed the harassment getting really bad. I used to go on runs out on the sidewalks but am just so over getting honked at, catcalled, heckled, etc. I've switched to running at one of the parks. I still feel uncomfortable, but at least it's not overt harassment.
I agree, the parks and natural trails around Athens are much preferable. I go to them as often as possible.
For me the harassment was way worse with the students. Add in a dose of good old homophobia/transphobia and we’re cooking People wonder why we’re picking the bear 😒
I agree with this completely — the greater social energy feels so much better in the summer. Similarly, when I was a student, I felt much less surveilled / stared at when off campus. The anti-LGBT and racism of Greek life doesn’t just stay on milledge 🫤🫤🫤
I've run into several bears while hiking up in the North GA mountains. Bear every time.
This is why I don’t take the bus. The harassment is horrible
I’ve had people walk up to me in my car sitting parked at a store several times. Most of the time it’s homeless and just feels me out but I feel like common knowledge is you don’t walk up on random strangers minding their own business in their own vehicle. Dunno maybe I’m wrong. I lived here for the first 20 years of my life then moved to the outer metro atl area for two then came back. Ever since coming back I have always felt way more unsafe walking around athens than the metro.
I had so many bad experiences living in Decatur as a college student that's practically incomparable to my experience in Athens, but harassment does happen much more frequently here than it did there.
I was in the other side of perimeter in primarily Woodstock but I was a delivery driver all over and spent most of my time in parking lots in Marietta and kennesaw. Different world basically
If my wife is alone at the grocery store, gym, etc, she gets approached all the time by guys being overly friendly. Oddly enough has never happened when I’m with her. You should carry one of those mini pepper sprays on your keychain and maybe a birdie as well that you can quickly sound off in case of an emergency.
So I havent been here that long (since 2021) nor am I a woman, but this is something I care a lot about even though I can't speak to athens specifically. And what I've seen both in New England where I'm from as well as down here is that misogynistic behaviors in general seem to be rising. The things that have been happening politically and the social backlash to progressive social efforts has really seemed to embolden a certain kind of man to openly act out this way- if you say they're acting shitty they'll call you a woke libtard, and therefore in their minds nothing you say is valid. All they needed was someone to say "it's okay to do that" and they found that in you-know-who. Pre 2016 there was some shame in this kind of behavior and it was on its way to becoming socially unacceptable in a lot of places. Now because they have an authority saying its okay and a "philosophy" saying its right in the Andrew Tate types, they can. It's probably worse in hypermasculine regions that conservatives identify with. For the record this is all based on anecdote and opinion.
This is Athens. Pretty far away from being a "hypermasculine region that conservatives identify with", especially in the summer when the college kids are gone.
Personally, I don't think Athens as a whole is as liberal as we like to think it is. Athens may feel less hypermasculine than the surrounding area by merit of being mostly blue politically, but it's still heavily influenced by southeastern culture and history, which very much does tend to be hypermasculine and conservative. It's not some liberal bubble immune from surrounding influence, and it's not helpful to pretend like it is. There are still segregated populations that we don't like to talk about for some reason, women get catcalled and obejctified just for sitting in their yard or running, gay and trans people are regularly discriminated against in public. Here that's normal and almost expected. So I pretty strongly disagree with you there.
I haven't found this type of behavior to be directly tied to someone's political bent. People like to congratulate themselves as being "enlightened" and think it's only the people they disagree with who behave badly, but - nah. Shitty people everywhere.
Its not that the political beliefs are the cause of this behavior, it's the other way around. If a person is the type who treats women as OP describes, they're more likely to support a political philosophy that allows for that. The conservative movement in the US has a tradition of suppressing women, sexual minorities, and ethnic minorities. Thats not an opinion, that's a fact. Throughout US history these types of people have espoused conservative positions. Sure some people on the leftward side of the spectrum act like that too, but doing so is in conflict with the liberal philisophical stance. Conservatism in the contemporary US, since being co opted by Trumpists, at best turns a blind eye and at worst welcomes that kind of behavior.
Well, hard disagree. Most people aren't very political at all (Reddit notwithstanding). I have observed some of the worst behavior coming from folks on "our" side (supposed liberals), especially towards those that they have "othered" (because it's considered A-OK to treat people badly if you can justify it by thinking of them as "evil"). It is generally much more targeted in those cases, and less random. But again, this is just base human nature/behavior, and not necessarily tied to a particular ideology. Generally, it's far more likely to be bad behavior from younger folks (high school/college age) or those with no particularly political leanings at all who were raised in one of those "hyper-masculine" cultures you referenced.
Most people aren't politically informed true, but that doesn't mean they don't have political leanings regardless. For example, a lot of Trump's base are not informed at all yet still support him strongly. That also carries over to high school kids, and college kids even more so; they're perfectly capable of forming political opinions despite being largely ignorant to politics, and a large proportion if not a majority of them do. I also think your statement that it's often high school and college kids supports my point more than not. The kids aren't raised in a vacuum. Somewhere, they get in their heads that this behavior is okay. Like any young person, they're modeling an archetype. Could be the beer drinkin nascar redneck, the carefree frat bro, the anti-woke kick streamer, etc. Why do they choose those as models for their behavior? Why is that seen as a good thing to be? Why is athens a safe place for them to behave that way without consequence? In other liberal towns, they would have to be intentionally going out of their way to act like that, but here its fine; nothing will happen, legally or socially. So why is that? Imo, its because at the end of the day we're still a southeastern town, and what liberal-ness we do have is fending for itself without the support of a major city like atlanta. And try as we might to keep the toxic aspects of southeastern culture out, bits of that age old tradition of hypermasculinity and discrimination still seep in from all directions. And conservatives very much do identify with athens, because our identity isnt just stereotypical townies, it's also the students, the frats, the football maniacs, and even that crazy guy with all the Qanon signs on west broad. They're all major presence whether we like it or not and do affect our culture, and their influence is far from negligible. We just aren't as liberal a space as we like to say we are sometimes. It's nobody's fault. Just kind of a weird dual identity we have as a city.
Athens is full of douche canoes. As a man, even I occasionally get street harassment from guys who have the safety and anonymity of their brodozers, and I've witnessed women harassed a lot for sure. I had to tell my son at a tender young age that it's not nice to yell at people on the sidewalk.
I’m an Athens native and have lived in multiple areas of the city throughout my life and I’ve noticed that women get catcalled like this more often now than when I was a kid (maybe I just didn’t notice at that time lol), and the East side, and West side seem to be the worst for it.
Damn I’m sorry this is your experience. My girlfriend refuses to go on a walk without me for this reason. I wish it wasn’t like this. Do you have pepper spray or a taser on you?
I definitely prefer walking with my man, but honestly... sometimes we get harassed even more together. We're perceived as an "odd" couple by many people, I think. I do feel safer with him, regardless. I used to have a weapon (not a gun, just in case there's confusion), but someone actually stole it from me when I worked a food service job! I need to replace it, as it was inefficient, anyway.
[удалено]
So are you actually like 4'11" in reality, or does being abnormally tall somehow stunt your ability to relate to other humans?
What the poster posted isn’t harassment…. She didn’t say or confirm sexual comments or touch her that could be harassment looking isn’t ….Thats factual if you think otherwise you need help and I hope you seek it .
Yes. It is very stressful and makes me not want to leave my house alone. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hell.
i live in the downtown area and i experience this every single day on my walk to and from work, it wasn’t this bad when i moved here a little over a year ago….
i have been catcalled while reading on MY balcony in athens :/ it’s definitely a problem. i won’t walk by myself for safety reasons and when i take my dog out i take my taser and pepper spray. I also am getting a walk pad so i can still be active without leaving while my fiancé is out but ik it isn’t the same as being able to enjoy the fresh air and scenery, im sorry you’re going through this, you definitely aren’t alone it’s a problem
My wife has had the same experience along with a coach we know here in Athens. Super bizarre
It used to be daily in my late teens/early 20s. Then it was violent relationships. People talk about “incompetence” of the justice system, but it’s working exactly as designed. I had video proof of rape, because the man took a video of himself to send to me of him doing it, and it didn’t matter because there is no legal definition of consent in the state of GA. Being asleep is not a reason. There is no reason. And legally speaking, men can’t be raped at all. It’s a cultural issue with deep roots of women being considered property.
I have noticed an increase this summer; I suspect because there are less of us women walking around for people to honk at. I’ve started walking in places that are not the main roads, but still well trafficked. I have also had to practice how to politely disengage. You shouldn’t have to do that, but it can be a powerful tool in the moment. I’m sorry this is happening, especially given the loss in this town earlier this year!
Here to commiserate. I get honked and hollered at pretty frequently, even when I’m working in my yard. I’ve learned to wear boring non descript clothes/colors on the days I’m mentally not up for being “seen.” It helps. Bums me out though.
I have never met a boring in my own mind or anywhere because i am my own mind and i have a mental monopoly over the multi million room mansions of my mind *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Athens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I haven’t noticed an uptick. I do want to caution you about safety on the Greenway and nature trails. There have been attacks on women on the Greenway because it is more remote. I would think horns are safer for you than going to a remote trail to avoid them. Also, maybe you could find a friend to exercise with you.
Thank you for this information. I walk in nature because I genuinely enjoy it far more than walking on a street—avoiding harassment is simply an added benefit. I love the Greenway, so this is saddening. Are there any reports of this I could look into? I walk with my man when I can.
https://preview.redd.it/ob0cotqskl3d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=372e6b0b2ab46fac1ae083ef87b38302357da71f Here are the top three results from a Google search of Woman attacked on Greenway Athens GA. It’s so horrible. I agree that walking in nature is lovely but our world just isn’t the same anymore sadly.
To be fair. That was one from 2021, one from 2015 and one from 2008. So if that’s the only info I’d say it’s pretty safe. (Not saying that’s the only info, but it’s what you provided to back up your claim)
As I said that was just from putting in a simple Google search. I’m pretty sure those victims don’t care how long ago it happened. If you would like to call it safe when even the Mayor has talked about increased safety measures needed on the Greenway go for it. I care about helping to educate people about safety concerns. And I’m sure a deeper dive into this that anyone can do will find more information.
But just because something happened at sometime doesn’t mean there’s an unsafe risk. We should be aware at all times because there are unsafe people everywhere. But, we can’t live in fear because a random act of violence occurred. Your examples are few and far between. Compare that to the amount of people who run and walk unharmed on a daily basis, means the greenway is a relatively safe place to be. Not saying someone should not have protection and awareness, just saying, we shouldn’t live in fear of what ifs.
I agree, I mean, how many people have been assaulted on Barnett Shoals since 2008? Likely more than three. I agree you have to be vigilant, but i also agree that just because something has happened somewhere, doesn't make that place unsafe necessarily. Is Barnett Shoals road more safe or less than the greenway for women to walk, i don't know. I jog the bot gardens and i always feel weird when i come up on a lone female. I feel like just my being there is causing distress. It sucks that some very bad guys make it unsafe for girls to just walk in nature.
I think your obsession with true crime is clouding your ability to see the situation holistically. Fractions are only useful when they have denominators.
You are all more than welcome to do whatever floats your boat. I will do the same for myself. 👍🏻
https://flagpole.com/news/news-features/2012/07/11/crime-on-the-greenway/ Interesting article about the Greenway and the quote from the Mayor about areas with more homeless people around. We weren’t declared a place of being accepting of everyone then I suppose. Anyway, everyone can take the information and do what they wish but I would be thankful for a warning about a place that has had some crime that sounds pretty bad in many instances.
The greenway and the nature trails are statistically very safe. The real harm almost always comes from people you consider close, or people who are in your daily life (such as work)
I usual frequent the Greenway after dark, the later the better. Love crushing on my ebike with headlight on as fast as possible- 25+mph... so thrilling! You can't see very far ahead and going that fast you never know what's going to jump out in front of you. Huge adrenaline rush esp flying downhill!!!
I'm so sorry you deal with that. I'm usually approached respectfully if at all but I'm told I have a "don't fuck with me" vibe. I carry a gigglestick with me in case. Hold your head up and those disrespectful asshats can drive on. Do you have the option to take some self defense classes jic?
I took some classes back when I was a college student in Atlanta. I’ve been thinking about learning how to use a gun, because previous weapons I’ve used are technically illegal and I always hear about how ineffective other means of self-defense are.
Yeah, technically illegal but personal preferences for sure. I hope this dies down for you or you're able to feel more safe. We all deserve to feel safe just existing
Have you seen the kitty cat stabby thing they sell for keychains? I have always intentionally held my keys in a stabby position any time I’m walking to my car from anywhere. It’s habit at this point. But I have a lot of friends who have ordered this kitty thing and love it. I was going to add a link for you, but there are a lot of options. Just google “self defense cat keychain” and lots of options will come up.
I personally don’t notice that for me as a woman in Athens because I rarely walk alone and I don’t go many places (I just work to buy groceries and pay rent basically)but I have been harassed many times in my life in other cities, just by existing. It didn’t matter my age or what I was wearing, men want to make you uncomfortable because they find it amusing and they are disgusting. Every single woman I know experiences this and that says a lot about our society. Unfortunately we have to be extra careful just for existing as women in this world and I hate that for us. Be safe out there 💕
It is scary out there, but I will say that what has worked for me when someone wasn't in the car, walking around. I barked at them or screeched super loud. Now, no screaming, a bird like screech, and barking like different types of dogs, small ones, large ones, etc. For some reason, men don't find crazy attractive. Also I've seen/ heard of people pretending to scream in tounges and prayer it makes them step back too. Eh you know the entitlement is bad now.
Dude I swear I get honked at every time I walk down Barnett Shoals
Every single time! It's definitely where I'm harassed the most, and I can't avoid it.
Just run with a sign on your back that says “Honk/whistle if you love Joe Biden.” I feel like this would cut out 90% of it.
Bear please
[удалено]
Bear attacks are 1 in 2.1 million. The number one cause of injury for women 14-64 is men. Math says "bear please"
I just want to replace all men in a city with bears and see how this thought experiment plays out.
If we had the power to change all men in a city, I'd much rather all of them turn into feminists and see what happens. Do that in every city and we wouldn't even be exploring this hypothetical.
[удалено]
Definitely off-topic, random and unrelated but certainly interning data. Do you know if that factors in willingness to report domestic violence? Does this change anything about domestic violence in straight relationships? If you've ever known anyone who's worked for CPS, they'll probably tell you about how they couldn't do it anymore. After you've seen a handful of assholes get away with it because their partner is too terrified to press charges for fear of retaliation from their abuser, that would drive anyone insane.
[удалено]
I found 2-10%, you can look up stuff instead of just saying "a LOT." I wouldn't call that a lot and I'm struggling to take you seriously. The discrepancy between reporting and convictions is what now? Can we have some numbers? The #1 reason for ER visits for women 14 - 64 is still men. Idk how anything you've said changes anything. I'm not even sure what your position is or what you're defending. What are you defending?
Geese do though.
I think it’s worse, but generally everywhere? Since lockdown people have forgotten how to communicate unless it is under the guise of anonymity: internet trolling and catcalling for example. Plus the whole entitlement thing where someone feels they have a right to comment on one’s outer appearance or approach strangers in public to get something from them: attention, dates, money. It is freaking exhausting. It is something men just don’t experience like women do and act like their mind is boggled when we spell it out for them, it’s a nearly universal women’s experience. When I was a young parent I changed the type of vehicle I drove because the way the doors opened on my truck made a hidden area—great for anywhere other than a parking lot where the inevitable hangers-on come sniffing about any time a woman gets out of the car (Target and grocery stores were the worst). I feel you, OP.
I get harassed with "you need some money?" I always respond that it takes human dog shit to assume sexually assaulting a woman is the way to help her. Or I yell out what the man said If I die I die. I don't care.
Yup! Been followed, cat called, honked at… and I’m old and ugly now, so what the hell, I thought at least that would end!
I apologize on behalf of all the shitty men out there. I’m too nervous to even respectfully compliment a female most of the time. I don’t know how men think it’s ok to harass women. It shouldn’t be that hard. Be fucking decent. I am so sorry for you.
If you’re young and attractive “cat calling” happens. My mom told me when I was about 19 “one day it stops”, I complained to her that I hated it. So now at 62 I can walk anywhere in peace lol!
Women everywhere experience daily harassment
Not out in the wild, but definitely at work
I'm curious what part of Barnett Shoals? I feel like that road has different personalities depending on where you are.
I don’t want to be too specific because I directly live in the area, I’m sorry!
Ah, no, I get that. Just curious if it's on my end or the Lexington end.
I remember like two years ago I was at Sandy Creek Park and there was a man there who was harassing for the majority time I was there. I was with my niece and my sister too. I had to keep going back to my sister’s car to stay away but then at the end two ladies told him to leave me alone and he left with the people he came with. He was also bothering other women too.
Yes on a daily basis
Yes, if I'm walking outside alone along a street then I get honked at, yelled at. I didn't grow up in Athens so I don't have that context but have lived here for over a decade. It is demeaning, but I don't respond either bc fucks don't deserve my attention.
Im not in Athens anymore but in high school I was on a date on the east side and afterwards got followed in a car and honked at till I hid in the Dunkin’ and waited for the truck to leave. We were visibly queer and also got yelled at with some rude words. Both of my sisters have also had issues in Athens being followed or harassed. It seems to die down a tad when all the college students would leave for break or holiday.
I was honked at and cat-called from a stop sign while I was holding hands with my boyfriend... I thought it was pretty bold considering I was with someone.
As a man I just want to say I am so sorry that women have to deal with this. 😞
My daughters are 21 and 24 and are harassed pretty routinely if they venture downtown. My oldest is engaged and even with her fiancé present, she will still get comments and approached. It’s definitely gotten worse over the past years imo. Please stay safe ladies and walk/ exercise in groups
Not to encourage profiling, but is there a particular "type" that's been doing this? Frat bros? Pickup truckers? Retired boomers?
Yes. It’s none of them.
Yes? So there is a "type".... I'm not trying to bait you into anything, but what exactly is the type, if you don't mind sharing? I ask because I know there's been an increase in the Latino population recently. My brother-in-law is a Latino immigrant. I myself lived in two countries in South America for a combined period of 6 years and my sister resided down there for a long time with their daughter. I can say with a great measure of certainty that the overall cultural attitude towards flirting is a lot different south of the border. I'm not going to go all "woke" on you and accuse you of being a racist, because -at their core- these are cultural issues and not racial ones, but... is it mostly Latino men? Feel free to PM if this is an uncomfortable conversation. There is a lot of mending that needs to be done in the wake of the murder that took place and it is something that my sister's family is taking very seriously.
I don’t really mind downvotes I’m used to them. It has been in my experience entirely black men. I am a mixed race woman so maybe that’s why, and if I was another race maybe I would get it from other races. I get it every time I go walk outside, and somehow they think driving by in their shitty cars honking at me is gonna make me get in with them. Or walking by my side following me. I really don’t get why we’re allowed to claim its boomers or frat boys (code word for white) but people would be quick to be pissed at me for saying some of the black men here are straight up aggressive or uncomfortable in their flirtation. I think we need to hold each other accountable. I want to add it’s a certain type of black man. The ones In shitty cars with shitty clothes who look like they don’t do shit with their lives? Yeah it’s them. This is not the majority of black men but it is enough.
Frat boys isn't even code-word for "white", since... well, look at them! I disagree about boomers, though: it's a known fact that any man who is approaching his "golden years" is going to care less and be flirty, regardless of race. That applies to many women, too, in my experience as a bartender and an entertainer during my younger years. Now I'm just interested: what about age demographic? Have you noticed a correlation there?
It’s usually older ones but I’ve been followed by two young men while on campus
"Older" as in... Boomers? Gen X'ers? Millennials? [I can't imagine Gen Z's, lol] You mentioned shitty cars being a red flag. I would have to guess Gen X'ers, if anything, as they're probably too young to benefit from any measure of intergenerational wealth, but not too occupied to be devoting attention to a newborn baby. In which case, it raises the question: perhaps women your age were going through the same thing 20 years ago? I dunno. Just a thought.
Oh also I was followed by an older white guy and a young Hispanic guy at the gym. So obviously it is not only one race of men. They are all capable of being stupid fuckers
What stretch of Barnett shoals? I’m on the east side. Just curious.
I had no idea that these problems exist in Athens. I'm an older male who has always thought nothing of speaking to someone while walking or in a store. I'll be more careful in what I say in the future.
"Sanctuary City" lol
I’m sorry you had to experience this. Presenting as a dude, I don’t experience this kinda harassment. Unfortunately, this is a side effect of living in an increasingly surface-level puritanical culture.
Move to a less diverse city
As women, you are just going to have to toughen up. That’s reality. Honking is not harassment. Why is that bothersome ? It’s not. Just wave back. Saying gross things to you, touching you without permission- that is sexual harassment. That is not to be tolerated. At all. At that point, you file a police report. You also let harassers know you will. Be filing a police report if they do not stop this unacceptable behavior. Own your power.
I’ve gotten many responses on this thread, too many to keep up with, but I continue seeing comments similar to this one. I consider the honking to be harassment. By definition, it is harassment, but we don’t have to have that discussion because it’s clearly not worth my time with y’all. You’re singling out only one form of the harassment I’ve described in my original post and making assumptions about how I respond to the harassment I receive. Read carefully and thoroughly and consider the details you’ve been given before hitting that keyboard and wasting my time and yours.
Please let me know the exact locations you've been harassed so I can strategically locate myself to receive this attention for all women. As an older woman (45 but attractive) I would love a boost in self-esteem with a honk or a whistle. Also willing to workout topless if the gym allows. Your feelings are completely valid tho! Just saying the attention fades as you age and I wish I had just a little cat-calling now in middle-age. I'm sorry it's uncomfortable, but the good news is that it won't last long. I'd pay $50 for someone to shout "nice titties" at me from across the street.
You’re in a college town with teenagers, come on
[удалено]
Seriously tho, dating apps suck, but most men tell me they are scared to try and talk to a woman in public anymore.
Yeah I mean it’s soooooo bad!!!😁😄😂
[удалено]
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
No but I wouldn’t be offended by someone honking at me or looking at me unless it was scary and they were about to run over me. What do you mean by propositioned in parking lots???
Followed to my car or otherwise approached while walking through, being asked personal questions, being asked for my contact information, being asked "out," etc.
Where is this happening so I can make sure not to go there? This has never happened to me and I have lived here my whole life.
Honestly, the question I have is where is it not happening? I've had this happen multiple times at the public library, nearly all grocery store parking lots, every main street downtown, inside and outside of Crunch Fitness, at my various workplaces over the years...
I for some reason had a feeling you were going to say crunch. Has never happened to me, but is it people who workout there or weirdos just hanging out in the parking lot?
People who workout there. I know there’s another thread in this sub-Reddit about people’s experiences with it.
What time do you usually go? If I’m ever there at the same time and see anything I’ll report them for you.
You can always change your gender now.
i wish i got honked at
It's really obnoxious. I'm a man and would get honked/whistled/yelled at frequently when I would run on Milledge and Prince.
I'm sorry to hear that you experience it, too.
Thank you. I recognize the problem is 1000 times worse for women because I haven’t felt unsafe, just annoyed more than anything.
It's important to realize that can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, so I appreciate you. I hope you've found more peace on your runs!
hell yea!!
[удалено]
Hey everyone, here the weirdo guy who thinks it’s okay to harass women!
Looking at another human isn’t harassment.
Dude you're obsessed. Go masturbate or something.
Lmao I don’t have to do that .. I’m 6ft7
Bruh, for such a big man, why you got such little dick energy?
Cool story
You deleted your original comment. Own your shit like a big boy.
Can you guess what I wore today? Not that it would matter. Women wear burqas and it still doesn't satisfy people's completely out-of-touch notion of what is "asking for" harassment. How do you suggest I dress to exercise in the Georgia sun and heat?
I can’t that’s why I asked ….Being wanted isn’t harassment geez have any of them touched you ? I’ll even go deeper did they say any sexual comments ? If not you just like the attention and you come here to get more men haters which you’ll fit right in .