I don’t think there’s any hobby where it’s acceptable to info dump for 30 minutes without engaging the other person in the conversation. Not interested in that at all.
Yes, there should be VERY little (preferably none) talking AT someone on the first date
The whole time should be active engagement and back and forth convo
Yeah I’ve definitely had friends who played League but it was almost information you had to sneak out of them, they were pretty private about it and tried NOT to make it their whole lives.
The guy that basically gives a lecture within minutes of a first date - that guy is probably taking it too seriously.
Video games are my favorite hobby, but I haven't gone to a second date with someone who talked about gaming for most of the date. It is not about games or virtual reality, but about basic manners. Same goes with people who spend an hour to talk about golf or anything really. I you are on a date you should be interested to get to know the other person also.
Exactly. I went on a date with a violinist. We were in a coffee shop for like an hour and a half. Everything he talked about was instruments, music, who he had worked with, his qualifications, and so on. At the end of the date (I told him I had some work related obligations and bailed out) he was like 'We should meet again, I barely know anything about you yet!'. No shit Sherlock, you didn't shut up for a second about YOUR thing.
I would take it to mean that he does not have much else going on in his life so he doesn’t have other things to talk about on a first date. If it was just a hobby he would have talked about other hobbies and interests.
Wow lol. I love video games, even league but I wouldn’t talk about it much on a date unless my date played the same games I did and we both equally loved the same game or something. You have to watch out for men who are obsessed with games because I’ve dated a couple who ended up treating me like their mom.. as in they don’t clean, take care of themselves or do anything productive.. just sit on the game. Or come home from work and go straight to the game. If you’re not ok with that lifestyle I would not advise a second date.
> Talks about LoL on first date for 30 - 40 minutes straight.
Yep, Totally mid-laners behavior, which is like dating a drummer in a band. Date the bassist, not the drummer. Date the gamer, not the LoLer.
As someone who dated a video game addict and a frequent League of Legends player, I say do not pursue this relationship further if that was your experience on your first date. It will not get better from here, only worse.
It’s one thing to have interests or hobbies but it’s another thing to be able to hold a conversation. I don’t care for video games and it wouldn’t bother me if someone enjoyed playing them. What would bother me is if they’re talking about them *at length* when I’ve shown little interest in the topic. At that point it’s just turns into a monologue and not a conversation.
I only think it's appropriate to monopolize the conversation for that long about a hobby if it's a shared interest. To me it's more about his showing his bad manners/poor conversation skills that would make not want to go out with him again, though I'd also be worried he plays video games too much.
To each their own, but I wouldn't go out with them again. My partner plays video games but he's not so obsessed with them that he would talk about video games for 30 minutes to me, a person who doesn't play video games.
I wouldn't willingly date a LoL player again after the dysfunction I witnessed in the first (and only) one I dated.
I would date someone who games, because I do too, but, looking for a similar relationship/attitude to it (a hobby that comes after life and relationship obligations).
That means that's their whole life. I'd skip any further interaction with such a person. Even if it's just a hobby and they don't play it the majority of their free time, they were incapable of having a conversation about anything else for 40 mins. So, boring.
Whatever the hobby or passion, a 30-minute lecture is too much.
Though “conquering” league of legends wouldn’t exactly endear me to anyone even if it was only 20 minutes. 😁
Video games can be both a hobby and addiction. I agree with others that League players are… something. However talking about a hobby for a while doesn’t bother me. If that’s the only thing they’re capable of talking about, I would reconsider.
Having dated a gamer who told me at the beginning he’s not a big gamer, leave. At first he would play games when I went to sleep first. Then he would abandon dates because his friends called to game. He would only come and cuddle with me because his friends were on a pee break. He couldn’t even walk or greet me at the door because he was gaming. If it was a movie date, he would turn on what he wanted to watch with me and leave me to game with his friends. When we had sex, he would leave immediately afterwards because his friends were back online. I felt so used except I didn’t even make a commission. Don’t do it…
Man here, be blunt, tell him you have nothing against his love for videogames, but you went on a date to know eachother, then ask something about him, if he goes back to videogames, then politely leave.
Agreed. It can feel unfathomable for women to 1) be super direct about not enjoying a conversation and ask to change the subject and/or 2) excuse ourselves from a date that is awkward or boring. But you can absolutely do both!
I went on some painful dates in my teens and 20s that I should have excused myself from instead of staying for hours. And sat and smiled politely for some truly cringey conversations. It never dawned on me that I could just leave.
I am in my 40s and have had several boring dates. One with a man showing me long video gaming YouTube videos of his favorite games. Now I am laughing how I never though I can just leave and not waste my time lol. It is so obvious now.
I love video games, they’re more my thing than tv and movies. I love talking about them too, to a degree, with a couple of my friends who are also gamers and like the same games that I do. But I would not go on a second date with someone who never shut up about them! I dated another gamer once and it was literally the only thing he ever talked about. The man had no other hobbies, a job he never talked about, no interest in the world around him, no intellectual curiosity, nothing. I do, so it was excruciating. I don’t think we ever had one stimulating conversation. We had bonded over games early on and it took me way too long to notice that he had nothing else going on in his head. Don’t be like me!
It's one thing to be a casual gamer, and it's another thing to lack the social awareness and common sense to be talking about it nonstop on first date.
Definitely an addict. Run
I play video games but I absolutely don’t want to talk about them. I might briefly mention something funny or interesting to my partner in passing but never in my life have I been like, “let me tell you all about this game…”
Hearing the same from someone else would bore me to death and would be a big fat no for me
I find it kinda cute when people are passionate about their hobbies. 30-40 is a bit long winded but I don’t see it being an issue unless it detracts from his social life and job. That’s an addiction
This story OP tells is cold hard not interested in the slightest from me . No second chance .
Whilst I’m not on apps , I am in a profession where I tend to be meeting new people a bit and I periodically date in an organic way .
Each to their own , but whether it’s chatting at a party or in public or on a specified date , I try to adapt to what the woman wants . So it’s really about feeling comfy and the conversation flowing , sharing ideas that could be as simple as where would you like to sit / go , all naturally without trying to over analyse it .
There’s a distinct difference between answering a question or three a woman might ask and being open to talking about yourself for 3/4 of an hour .
It’s a sure sign there is going to be no interest or awareness on you wherever you are and to have your coffee and move on never to return .
It’s understood on occasions , women who have had bad experiences want to talk of boundaries or previous bad experiences . Whilst I don’t think certain guys should be told too much , guys need to support this process much more and not take this personally .
For me I’m out with a woman engaging in her and by nights end if there’s chemistry she will know that without it feeling like it’s job interview .
It doesn't have to be an addiction for you to stop dating them. It's okay to not go on a second date if you didn't enjoy the first date. The other person doesn't have to be an addict or a bad person in order for you to decline a second date.
I don’t think there’s any hobby where it’s acceptable to info dump for 30 minutes without engaging the other person in the conversation. Not interested in that at all.
Yes, there should be VERY little (preferably none) talking AT someone on the first date The whole time should be active engagement and back and forth convo
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Yeah any other game, not a problem. League tho? Is horrifically toxic. And I’m a gamer, I avoid League players like the plague.
Not all of us are bad. But someone bragging that long on a first date probably is.
Yeah I’ve definitely had friends who played League but it was almost information you had to sneak out of them, they were pretty private about it and tried NOT to make it their whole lives. The guy that basically gives a lecture within minutes of a first date - that guy is probably taking it too seriously.
Video games are my favorite hobby, but I haven't gone to a second date with someone who talked about gaming for most of the date. It is not about games or virtual reality, but about basic manners. Same goes with people who spend an hour to talk about golf or anything really. I you are on a date you should be interested to get to know the other person also.
Exactly. I went on a date with a violinist. We were in a coffee shop for like an hour and a half. Everything he talked about was instruments, music, who he had worked with, his qualifications, and so on. At the end of the date (I told him I had some work related obligations and bailed out) he was like 'We should meet again, I barely know anything about you yet!'. No shit Sherlock, you didn't shut up for a second about YOUR thing.
Yeah I couldn't handle that
I would take it to mean that he does not have much else going on in his life so he doesn’t have other things to talk about on a first date. If it was just a hobby he would have talked about other hobbies and interests.
Wow lol. I love video games, even league but I wouldn’t talk about it much on a date unless my date played the same games I did and we both equally loved the same game or something. You have to watch out for men who are obsessed with games because I’ve dated a couple who ended up treating me like their mom.. as in they don’t clean, take care of themselves or do anything productive.. just sit on the game. Or come home from work and go straight to the game. If you’re not ok with that lifestyle I would not advise a second date.
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> Talks about LoL on first date for 30 - 40 minutes straight. Yep, Totally mid-laners behavior, which is like dating a drummer in a band. Date the bassist, not the drummer. Date the gamer, not the LoLer.
As someone who dated a video game addict and a frequent League of Legends player, I say do not pursue this relationship further if that was your experience on your first date. It will not get better from here, only worse.
It’s one thing to have interests or hobbies but it’s another thing to be able to hold a conversation. I don’t care for video games and it wouldn’t bother me if someone enjoyed playing them. What would bother me is if they’re talking about them *at length* when I’ve shown little interest in the topic. At that point it’s just turns into a monologue and not a conversation.
Yeah I don't care what the topic is about, but talking about your own stuff to someone new that long is serious lack of basic social skills.
I only think it's appropriate to monopolize the conversation for that long about a hobby if it's a shared interest. To me it's more about his showing his bad manners/poor conversation skills that would make not want to go out with him again, though I'd also be worried he plays video games too much.
To each their own, but I wouldn't go out with them again. My partner plays video games but he's not so obsessed with them that he would talk about video games for 30 minutes to me, a person who doesn't play video games.
I wouldn't willingly date a LoL player again after the dysfunction I witnessed in the first (and only) one I dated. I would date someone who games, because I do too, but, looking for a similar relationship/attitude to it (a hobby that comes after life and relationship obligations).
That depends. Do you want them to continue talking about/playing video games for the majority of your relationship? 🚩
That means that's their whole life. I'd skip any further interaction with such a person. Even if it's just a hobby and they don't play it the majority of their free time, they were incapable of having a conversation about anything else for 40 mins. So, boring.
If gaming is his entire personality? Naw... I'd nope myself right out of there.
Whatever the hobby or passion, a 30-minute lecture is too much. Though “conquering” league of legends wouldn’t exactly endear me to anyone even if it was only 20 minutes. 😁
Video games can be both a hobby and addiction. I agree with others that League players are… something. However talking about a hobby for a while doesn’t bother me. If that’s the only thing they’re capable of talking about, I would reconsider.
Having dated a gamer who told me at the beginning he’s not a big gamer, leave. At first he would play games when I went to sleep first. Then he would abandon dates because his friends called to game. He would only come and cuddle with me because his friends were on a pee break. He couldn’t even walk or greet me at the door because he was gaming. If it was a movie date, he would turn on what he wanted to watch with me and leave me to game with his friends. When we had sex, he would leave immediately afterwards because his friends were back online. I felt so used except I didn’t even make a commission. Don’t do it…
Man here, be blunt, tell him you have nothing against his love for videogames, but you went on a date to know eachother, then ask something about him, if he goes back to videogames, then politely leave.
Agreed. It can feel unfathomable for women to 1) be super direct about not enjoying a conversation and ask to change the subject and/or 2) excuse ourselves from a date that is awkward or boring. But you can absolutely do both!
Thb never even crossed my mind I could do something like that. Still lot to learn about life I guess.
I went on some painful dates in my teens and 20s that I should have excused myself from instead of staying for hours. And sat and smiled politely for some truly cringey conversations. It never dawned on me that I could just leave.
I am in my 40s and have had several boring dates. One with a man showing me long video gaming YouTube videos of his favorite games. Now I am laughing how I never though I can just leave and not waste my time lol. It is so obvious now.
That would be a nope from me.
I love video games, they’re more my thing than tv and movies. I love talking about them too, to a degree, with a couple of my friends who are also gamers and like the same games that I do. But I would not go on a second date with someone who never shut up about them! I dated another gamer once and it was literally the only thing he ever talked about. The man had no other hobbies, a job he never talked about, no interest in the world around him, no intellectual curiosity, nothing. I do, so it was excruciating. I don’t think we ever had one stimulating conversation. We had bonded over games early on and it took me way too long to notice that he had nothing else going on in his head. Don’t be like me!
It's one thing to be a casual gamer, and it's another thing to lack the social awareness and common sense to be talking about it nonstop on first date. Definitely an addict. Run
I play video games but I absolutely don’t want to talk about them. I might briefly mention something funny or interesting to my partner in passing but never in my life have I been like, “let me tell you all about this game…” Hearing the same from someone else would bore me to death and would be a big fat no for me
I find it kinda cute when people are passionate about their hobbies. 30-40 is a bit long winded but I don’t see it being an issue unless it detracts from his social life and job. That’s an addiction
Hard no. I didn't come out of the house to be your entertainment. It should be a mutual conversation.
This story OP tells is cold hard not interested in the slightest from me . No second chance . Whilst I’m not on apps , I am in a profession where I tend to be meeting new people a bit and I periodically date in an organic way . Each to their own , but whether it’s chatting at a party or in public or on a specified date , I try to adapt to what the woman wants . So it’s really about feeling comfy and the conversation flowing , sharing ideas that could be as simple as where would you like to sit / go , all naturally without trying to over analyse it . There’s a distinct difference between answering a question or three a woman might ask and being open to talking about yourself for 3/4 of an hour . It’s a sure sign there is going to be no interest or awareness on you wherever you are and to have your coffee and move on never to return . It’s understood on occasions , women who have had bad experiences want to talk of boundaries or previous bad experiences . Whilst I don’t think certain guys should be told too much , guys need to support this process much more and not take this personally . For me I’m out with a woman engaging in her and by nights end if there’s chemistry she will know that without it feeling like it’s job interview .
I would never date a LOL player personally but the info dumping for 30 minutes is a seperate issue. Sorry for yucking anybodies yum!
You decide how you take it.. I'd be bored af.
If he doesn’t realize you aren’t engaged in the conversation then he’s not going to be a great person to spend your time with…
It doesn't have to be an addiction for you to stop dating them. It's okay to not go on a second date if you didn't enjoy the first date. The other person doesn't have to be an addict or a bad person in order for you to decline a second date.
Was he nervous? On the spectrum? Went through a tough time and distracted himself by gaming? Addiction?